


Slow down bruh

by Nopersdopers



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/M, Minor Character Death, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overwatch - Freeform, PTSD, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2018-09-29 22:03:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 222,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10145459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nopersdopers/pseuds/Nopersdopers
Summary: After a mysterious and dangerous mission, Reader finds themselves getting "booted" from the army. Without a job, a home and little to no family, they find themselves a job as a "Groundskeeper" with the newly re-founded, Overwatch. Readers interaction with their bosses seems messy at first, but in the end finds themselves getting closer.





	1. its you!

”Darlin’ you oughta slow down,” McCree said trying to take your precious bottle away, “ya startin’ to catch up t’ me.” You slapped his hand away, and scooted away from him, dragging the bar stool with you.  
The reason why you’d gone out to drink with him, on a Wednesday night mind you, were many. But the main goal was to get shitfaced and to forget. You chugged down the bottle of beer, it was painful since you were so full already, and it brought back horrible memories of earlier terrible hangovers. You got a bit nauseous thinking about it, but ordered a couple shots to wash away the heavy beer flavour in your mouth.  
The after taste of the shots made your face cringe, and you shook your head a bit, it was way too strong. Handling strong alcoholic shots were not your speciality, but damn if it didn’t give you a good rush. 

“I’m not gonna pretend I care too much ‘bout yer problems, we hardly know each other,” McCree said taking a hold of your arm as it was reaching for the 2nd shot. “But I really don’t think it’d be clever to show up on the Watchpoint in a condition like that. ’76 see ya and you’d be fired on the spot, darlin’.”  
You look at him, giving him a real good eyeing for the first time. He did look good, even after all the shit he’d been put through in his life… that lucky bastard.  
You were fairly “buzzed” to say the least, and a headache was creeping up on you, but the endorphins you got from the alcohol still made you smile. A laugh escaped your lips, “Well, I’ll take your kind advice to heart, I’m hungry so anyways, you wanna join me?” you asked, pushing yourself up with the help of the counter. 

 

Getting food after a night out was the easy part, sneaking into the facility unnoticed however, you did most certainly not have that skill. You scanned your card, typing in the code, showed your face all proper to the camera, so Athena could open the door. Thanking Athena, you started sneaking, while pushing some French fries in your mouth, forcing it down. You got to your room, hopefully unnoticed, although you had lost some fries on the way there. Worst case scenario, you’d blame someone else. 

You weren’t a hero in Overwatch, although you had been a soldier in the army. You worked very close with them though, you made them food sometimes, cleaned their rooms, did their laundry, and basically did anything they asked you to do, within reasonable limits of course. You never really did get a job title, but you sometimes considered yourself like a groundskeeper.

You’d been hired about three months ago; Winston had wanted someone with army experience, and there you were, in his office, straight outta the army.  
You had finished your “work” there, and they didn’t need you anymore, so you had in a way, been “kicked out”. Luckily your resume was pristine with great references, your record was good and you had shown a lot of enthusiasm during the interview. You remember you had been worried about getting the job, considering you didn’t have a home to return to, you had lived in barracks for years so there’d been no need for an apartment, and you hadn’t thought they would suddenly not need you anymore. So once you were informed that you’d gotten the job and had to live in the different Watchpoints all over the world, you’d been so grateful and happy you almost forgot about everything from the past.

 

Washing off your makeup was harder than usual, the wipes had gotten a bit dry as you were running out of them. You needed to shop soon. The bags under your eyes had increased, but other than that your skin was pretty much untouched. Nasty, you thought, but quickly tried paying attention to getting toothpaste on your toothbrush. You turned away from the bathroom mirror, and started brushing, trying to focus on the intoxicated feeling in your body. You spit, rinsed, skipped flossing because flossing was not the best thing you should do while intoxicated, (not that you did it all too regularly), changed into a way too big t-shirt that you didn’t remember how had managed to get into your room, but it was there to stay.

Your bed was comfortable, yet you tossed and turned, not finding the right position. That usually meant you’d be in for a rough night, and you were right because the insides of your belly started twisting, hard. You barely made it to the bathroom before you puked, and puked, and puked. It rushed out your mouth and nose, and bits of your food from earlier flew out. You felt like a sick child, and started crying, resting your head on the toilet seat. The smell wasn’t getting to you, even if it should have. You tried to get a towel, to wipe what got on the floor. But you quickly had to return to the toilet seat, more came out, and your stomach was angry. You started bleeding aggressively out your nose, while you continued puking. Fuck, you had overdone it. You were in for a rough night, and you could barely hold your head up.

 

The cold ceramic toilet was comfortable, you had started shaking around 3-ish but around 5 it had calmed down, but now you were too warm and the headache started hammering at the inside of your skull, wanting to burst out of your forehead. The tears had yet to stop, and you just watched as the drops rolled down your arm and dripped into the toilet. It was painful, the physical pain and the shame you felt for having had one too many.  
McCree would probably have laughed in your face at the sight and called you a lightweight (which honestly you were), Soldier 76 would surely have told you to toughen up and get over it, and you didn’t really know any of the others well enough to determine their reaction. Maybe Mercy would have been kind enough to help you take care of yourself, but you’d be way to embarrassed to be near her after that. You weren’t really close to anyone here, maybe you should be, but you weren’t. You have had many friends, you have had many flirts, but you had destroyed it all, burnt the bridges. No one was “close” with you, except maybe two-three of your old army buddies, but you hadn’t contacted them for months. 

 

You felt the urge to puke again, forcing you to hunch over as the sour gall bladder juice forced its way out your mouth. You cried harder, thinking back to when you were younger. You had stolen liquor from your parents’ cabinet and gotten shitfaced with your friends, and had gotten quite the similar hangover. When your parents found you in the bathroom puking your guts out, they weren’t pissed like you had expected them to be, but helped you hold your hair back, given you cold water, washed your dirtied hands, wiped your sweaty forehead, given you blankets, and stayed up next to you all night, telling you how much they loved you and assured you that you were going to get better. You missed them, you missed your family so much. You missed having someone that cared for you, you missed having someone that told you they loved you unconditionally, that helped you when you had fucked up and assured you that things were going to get better. Even when it wasn’t. 

Your nose started running with snot and you cried out. You held your face between your dirty hands as you started shaking, sobbing and crying out for your mom and dad.  
Why had they left you? You hadn’t gotten to say goodbye properly. They weren’t supposed to leave you! They were supposed to be there, forever, even if it was illogical.  
You puked harder, and you wallowed in pain as you screamed tugging at your hair and hitting your face.  
“Why weren’t you there!? Why didn’t you tell them you loved them one last time?! Why are you so selfish!” you screamed at yourself and tried to wipe the snot with your overarm as you sobbed loudly, your breathing unsteady, fast and irregular.  
You were going to have a panic attack at this rate, and you held your head as you tried to calm your breathing, finding it almost impossible. You grabbed your stomach painfully, digging your nails into the flesh, as you focused on making the stomach rise instead of your chest. In and out… you felt so stupid… in and out… you hated that you were like this… in and out…

 

Around 8, you were able to stand and walk a bit, which meant it was time to clean up. A quick look in the mirror would only hurt you even more, so stepping directly into the shower would be the best. Its unnatural how a shower will cleanse you of anything ill. You stayed in there a long time thinking to yourself, that maybe it was time to legit quit drinking and maybe focus on improving, getting better… healing.  
Unluckily for you, the steam had cleared your nose quite a bit, and you caught a scent of the nasty smell you had left in the bathroom, specifically from your toilet and floor.  
Stepping over the worst part and into your room was easy, but sitting down on the bed made you feel dizzier. You managed to pull the proper work “uniform” on, and you considered fixing your bathroom, but the smell would only make your hangover worse. Maybe later when you were feeling better. Perfume covered some of the sour smell and you chewed 3 pieces of gum rapidly to get rid of the stink.  
Looking at your pager-like device you didn’t see any notifications about having to make breakfast for anyone, meaning you weren’t too far behind schedule and that you might be able to actually get some water and your hangover remedy.

 

You noticed the trail of French fries on the ground while walking the hallways towards the dining hall. You had been messy, but luckily the trail had ended far away from your room, only Athena would know the truth, but you trusted her not to tell on you, even if you couldn’t guarantee it. There were no one in the hallway, which wasn’t odd, but it was unnervingly quiet, only the clacks from your shoes made any sound. Maybe you could fetch a Roomba to help clean with you today?  
Closing in on the dining hall, you noticed Mercy, walking quickly over to you. You weren’t sure how to react, but you tried your best to avoid eye contact, maybe she wasn’t going to talk to you. “Dearie, where have you been all morning? I thought I messaged you about needing clean up in the infirmary!” she said while showing her own device with the message “clean up, room A13-15”. “The place is covered in puke, Hana was apparently out drinking yesterday… and she’s also seemed to spill Pommes Frites everywhere, although she claims she doesn’t know where she got it from!” Oh thank god, they’ll be too busy with her to notice you… good. “I’ll just get some breakfast for myself, I’ll nurse her if you’re too busy?” you suggested, scanning your card so that the mess hall door would open. Ziegler sighed, rubbing her temples, “Fine, but hurry will you, the smell is awful! I can still smell puke!” well that was probably you, but you daren’t say anything, while walking towards the kitchen. Few people were allowed in there. Only you, Winston and the two-three omnics that’d cook 3 meals a day.

You drank a glass of water, searching the cabinets for Doritos, and the fridge for Coke, but the closest thing you found were a half drunken bottle of Mountain Dew. Doritos and Coke was your secret hangover remedy, you’d discovered it after staying over at a “gamer” friend’s house once, and it seemed to do the trick. You took a bite of one chip, and started preparing a bowl for D.Va. You’d have to wear a nose plug to not puke at the smell, luckily for you, you always kept one on you, toilet duty had taught you that.  
You brought the bowl and a glass of Mountain Dew towards the infirmary. You decided to take the elevator rather than walking up the stairs. You allowed yourself that luxury at least. Level A, aka. Mercy’s floor, with infirmaries, emergency rooms, surgery rooms, and offices only for Ziegler to use, and you to clean. “Athena? Could I have my Roomba? I’d like to use them after I’ve cleaned the infirmary.” You asked out loud, hoping you were loud enough for Athena to hear. “Accepted” they responded, and you were quite content.

 

You put on your nose plug, while balancing the bowl, the Roomba and the glass of Mountain Dew with one arm and leg. Upon entering the infirmary, you heard a sickening noise, D.Va was still puking, poor thing. You put the things on a stand, while walking over to D.Va. “How you doing?” you whispered, rubbing her back. She answered by puking some more into the “bucket” she had gotten, and she coughed quite a bit while you cringed a bit. “When you’re done puking, I got something good for you, I’ll start cleaning the room now.” You whispered to her, while leaving for the supply closet. 

 

The floor had been cleaned, D.Va was resting in the bed and you had emptied her “bucket of puke”. You looked at your device, several complaints on the French fries. Guess it was time for the Roomba to do their job, and for you to leave D.Va on her own. Taking it off the stand, you started walking towards the door before hearing a weak “stay…” coming from behind you. Turning you looked at D.Va, and took a bit of pity on her. In your teens, that would probably have been you, so you put the Roomba back on the stand and found a wash cloth, you dried her sweat, held a glass of water to her lips, and gently caressed her face while wiping stray hairs away from her face. “I have to leave D.Va, but I’ve left you some corn chips and mountain dew, so when you feel better, try to eat and drink a bit,” you placed a cold wash cloth on her forehead, held her hand and smiled at her, “your pager is right there on the nightstand, I’ll be back in a flash if you need me to be. It might feel like hell right now, but trust me you’ll feel better soon.” 

 

Your Roomba had done a great job, eating away at the dust, while you brushed away the fries. You looked at the pager, Junkrat and Roadhog wants snacks, Soldier 76 needed coffee, Lucio requests a clean-up in his room, Zarya has dirty laundry for you, and several other small requests had been made.  
The dining hall was your first stop, Junkrat and Roadhog seemed to have waited patiently for you to arrive, which was unusual as the last time you’d seen them near the kitchen they had been rummaging the cabinets for food. You’d asked them gently to not do that, since you or the omnics would get yelled at (emphasis on you), and told them that you could even bake them treats if they’d asked. You went into the kitchen grabbing some packets for them, some treats you’d baked the previous day, and a variety of other snacks. After handing them over, you made a pot of coffee, poured some into a big mug, entered ‘76s room and left it there, knowing he’d probably be there in a minute. Lucios room was no challenge for you and your Roomba, and Zaryas dirty laundry were sorted and thrown into the washing machines. These are the things you’d be doing every day 9-21, with small breaks now and then so you could eat and care a bit for yourself. You liked having things to occupy your mind with, and getting these requests helped to do just that. 

 

After a deep-clean session in the meeting room, you were satisfied. No more requests and you were going to be finished for the day. Stretching and cracking your back, you put the cleaning supplies and your Roomba away, and considered peeking in on D.Va to see if she was recovered yet. Though, you stopped yourself.  
She wasn’t your friend, she wasn’t your family, she was just your boss, wasn’t she? You almost never socialized with anyone anymore, the only times they ever really talked to you was when they didn’t want to type to you, which was rare. Even rarer was it when McCree had asked you to join him to the bar, but honestly you didn’t even talk much with him there, too focused on getting yourself drunk.  
Were you an alcoholic? Probably. Were you anti-social? Well duh. Where you ever going to change?

 

You had forgotten about your bathroom, and thus the whole room had started to stink. Trying your best to scrub your bathroom, you felt a headache coming on. No sleep will do that to you, so after cleaning the bathroom and febrezing the shit out of your room, you popped a painkiller. Kicking off the shoes and laying back in the bed should have been a relief, but then thoughts started creeping up. It didn’t help with the lack of sleep and headache. Your eyes became glassy like, tears threatening on emerging any second. For god’s sake, something needed to distract you right now or you’d be a mess for the rest of the night. As if your prayers had been heard, your pager rung. A request? Maybe that’d distract you.

 

The request was from Zenyatta, it didn’t say anything besides the location, which would be just outside the Watchpoint, a small park not far off. You only left the bases for food supplies, bars and shopping for new clothes. You used to love exploring new places, but the childish curiosity you used to have, had died. You wouldn’t even have known of the park, had it not been for you having made one simple mistake of turning right rather than left walking to the store. Surely there he was… accompanied by Genji. They appeared to be meditating, and you wished you hadn’t gone. After all, it was after hours, and you needed to sleep, yet even though you hesitated, you inched closer and closer. The park was rather small, it was more or less a big garden, with some trees here and there, a couple bushes and one large flowerbed. 

Standing there, while they were meditating, turned out to be painfully awkward for you, and you bit your lip from saying something stupid like asking if they had fallen asleep or something. “Ah, you’re here. Apologies for leaving you standing, would you care to join us?” Zenyatta asked you, while placing a hand on the grass. Hesitating a bit, you kneeled down on the ground before properly seating yourself. They were very quiet and you felt nervous, not having had proper social interaction in a long time. “So… What do you want?” you asked, but it came out a lot sourer than you had expected, making you sound a bit angry, “I-I mean, since you requested me here and all, uhhh… like uh… uhm…” you said nervously while pulling some of the grass next to you, looking anywhere but at them. “I wanted to give you an offer to meditate with us,” You looked up at the omnic, giving off a confused look, continuing to pull at the grass, “You have been with us for over three months, and we are grateful, yet we know little of you. I won’t pressure you to tell us your past, yet I wish to learn more about you, and meditation will tell me a lot more about you. It’s only an offer, you may leave if you do not wish to partake” he said ever so gently, while you stopped pulling at the poor grass. 

You positioned yourself better, now sitting criss-cross, and pulling your hair back in a messy bun. “I accept your offer with gratitude, yet,” you said looking away, “I won’t lie to you, I am feeling a bit uncomfortable, I don’t know any of you.” You bet if he could, Zenyatta would be smiling, “I hope I’ll get to know you better, you seem to be quite the interesting person”. With that, you became quiet, and Genji turned his head downwards. You couldn’t figure him out, he never requested much, so you didn’t know much about him, only from chatter you’d heard in the hallways. But with Zenyatta, you’d read about him in several newsletters, articles and books, and he’d request a new plant every now and then. He seemed pleased with your plant selections for him, though it was mostly just random succulents you’d found at the supermarket. You tried looking down, but you knew you were looking way too focused on the ground to rid your thoughts and relax. You took a deep breath, in and out. Yet, you were not able to stop fiddling with things, like cracking your bones or ripping out grass again. You closed your eyes and fell back into the grass, a much better position for you. Looking up at the dark night sky, that had little to no stars thanks to the lights around town, you could finally start relaxing. One hand on your stomach, the other one feeling the grass, you closed your eyes and focused on your breathing.

Falling asleep now wouldn’t be so bad, you were really relaxed, and you managed to keep your thoughts at bay. You almost fell asleep until you heard movement, apparently the meditation session was over. Rubbing your eyes and face you sat up, you hadn’t relaxed like that in a long time. Yawning gently and stretching was pretty good, and you were about to get up when Genji held his arm out for you. You knew you couldn’t look too long at his arm or he’d retract it, making things more awkward between you. Letting him pull you up fast was not a good idea, as your headache could creep up on you again, but it went fine, you thanked him and Zenyatta for letting you meditate with them and left, returning to the base.

 

Your device hadn’t gone off, there were no longer any notifications of requests, and you were satisfied. Upon entering your room, you felt… fine. After brushing your teeth and putting on a clean t-shirt, you were finally able to go to sleep. The bed was more comfortable than usual, and you couldn’t wait to actually get some sleep. Closing your eyes, you started thinking, “If I don’t wake up, it’ll be alright, I’ll be with my parents, and if I do wake up, I’ll be able to make them proud.” And with that you tried blacking out. Soon after you’d fallen asleep.


	2. Readers "Vacation"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEH u get some norwegian all up in here, you'll get the icelandic parts later, scandinavia rocks y'all

An alarm went off, and the room filled with blue light. Ignoring the noise for more sleep lasted for about 5 minutes, until it got louder and the volume increased to unbearably loud. Dragging yourself out of bed was very hard, you desired to sleep more but your annoyance with the alarm forced you to turn it off. Your device had actually rung, which meant that Winston needed you, stat. Roaming the dark room for your “uniform”, which consisted of a t-shirt with the Overwatch logo, black military/cargo pants, a belt, your big black boots and your black gloves, you brought your pager and started jogging slowly towards the meeting room.

 

Standing outside the meeting room, you gave Athena a heads up about your presence, and the door opened. You entered the spit shined meeting room, you were great at keeping it clean, even when the team looked to be trying to make an effort making the room look like a literal dump.  
There were 5 people in the room, including you. Winston, Soldier 76, Genji and… urgh, Hanzo… You would describe Hanzo as an absolute control freak. Whenever he requested something, he joined you to observe that you were doing it “correctly”, and he’d comment on the progress, and mind you, the comments weren’t nice.   
“If I could do it better myself, then what’s the point of having you do it?” was what he’d say, literally every time. You admitted, thanks to his comments you had gotten even neater with the cleaning, but by god how you loathed him. He might be an “okay” hero, but as a person and employer he was a fucking nightmare.

“You requested me” you stated, standing upright, legs together, arms on either side, chin up, like you’d do whenever officers and higher ups in the army would tell you your mission. Soldier 76 seemed to greatly appreciate it, even if he didn’t show it. “At ease” he replied in his gruff voice. You moved your right leg to the side, your arms now held behind you. Even if you couldn’t see his eyes, you knew he was observing you and your stance. He probably found it amusing how hard old army habits would die and recognized himself in you, but quickly averted your gaze by turning to look at Winston.  
“Good morning,” Winston said,”- we have a mission for you”. You looked at him, expressionless, but replied a bit sassy, “Oh? Yea, go on then.” Had you talked to your superiors like that in the army, you would have been forced down in the “hockey” position, and be forced to stand like that while the mission was explained. 

Hanzo scoffed, “Be quiet.” And you bit the insides of your cheeks. He was pissing you off, as he tried to intimidate you with his stern look and puffed out chest, what a cock. However, jokes on him, it doesn’t work like that when you’re a bit taller than him and you’re seemingly dead inside. He glared daggers at you, and you could feel yourself almost grinning. You were getting to him, and you were loving every second of it.  
Winston coughed a bit, getting your full attention yet again, “You’ll be accompanying Genji and Hanzo to Hanamura, you’ll be working under them while they attend to some…” he seemed unsure of what to say next but easily played it off “… meetings”.  
“Understood, when will I be departing?” you asked, now looking to Soldier 76, “You get 30 minutes to pack the necessities, you know where to meet up”.

 

Necessities… Did that include your Roomba?   
You thought to yourself while packing down your toothbrush, maybe it was time to call your brother. You had grown somewhat distant from him, both of you mourning your parent’s death and both overcome with work. You didn’t even know what he did anymore, and you hadn’t even told him you’d gotten kicked out of the army and rehired in Overwatch. You had gotten snippets from him, telling him that he was dealing with an enemy hacker and all, but you didn’t want to pry, which had led to the two of you not talking since you had returned from your last mission.

 

You put your duffel bag in the shelf over you, and seated yourself next to a window on the plane. It was small, filled with unknown tech to you, as you never got the liberty of paying attention to the interior of the different transport vehicles. You got the same nervous feel you always did when preparing for take-off. Genji aka. Never fucking talks to you and will most likely just meditate the whole ride, sat on your left, Hanzo aka. An absolute cock on your right. You had no way of entertaining yourself for the 5-hour long trip. You couldn’t nap and you didn’t feel like starting something with Hanzo and getting thrown out of the plane mid-air. You sighed heavily, leaning back in your seat, clicking the belt on and looked around. The pilot, an omnic, was readying for take-off, but you noticed that there seemed to be a free co-pilot seat, and something resembling a phone. 

You tried closing your eyes, squeezing your nails into your stomach as the plane finally started evening out. The pilot assured you that you could now walk around if you’d like, and you walked up to them. Tossing out the unnerving feeling of talking to someone you asked, “uhhh… excuse me?” The pilot hummed as a response, you swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat, “Do you have a way of communicating with uh… Uhm what I mean is… Can I use a phone or something?” They didn’t turn their head, but patted on the co-pilot seat, ushering you to put on the headphones attached to the big control panel. “You flip that switch, put in the number, and press that button” they instructed and you punched in your brother’s number. 

You called three times, almost giving up when he finally picked up “Hey lil sis” he sounded tired, maybe you were in different time zones? “Hey…” there was an awkward silence. “You called?” he voiced a bit gruffly, and you heard shuffling in the background. You had woken him up from his sleep, which was a like a luxury for the two of you. “I… wanted to check in on you. How’s work?”. “Same old same old. Still chasing that hacker, although I’m getting closer by the day. Though, I’ve been contacted by someone that are willing to help with the search, I’ll be meeting with them soon…” his voice trailed off. “… How are you though? You didn’t tell me how the last mission went, heard it went south, you okay?” You frowned, should you tell him you’d been “relieved” off of duty or lie?   
“Well… I’m fine, been put on ground control though, no mission or anything, just walking around the base doing little tasks here and there…” Okay so you gave him a half-lie.   
“You know, I could probably ask them to transfer you, so you can work on my team? Honest? I really miss you lil sis, it's been really tough…” You got a bit glassy eyed, you’d treated him like shit, not calling him, drinking your ass off and not helping him get through the rough times. You were a shit person and he deserved a better sister. “heheh… yeah… I-” you choked a bit, “- miss you a lot too. It’s really hard not being close to you.” You smiled a bit and took on a more playful tone, “Maybe we should take a week off, travel to Ibiza and get shitfaced?” He laughed a bit, “Ah but you forget the last time we went there. Remember that dude you puked all over, holy shit sis, that was great!” You laughed, remembering how he’d laughed his ass off at the sight before he also churned and puked. “But I have to sleep now lil sis, let’s call more often though, love you, bye” your smiled died down, “love you too, I’ll try to call more often okay? Bye”

 

You took off the headset, putting it neatly back to its previous location, thanked the pilot for his generosity and returned to your seat. You may have imagined things, but it seemed like the Shimada brothers had listened in on your conversation. Which to you, meant squat shit unless they tried something. 

It was quiet. Uncomfortably quiet. There was still 3 hours left until you would land in Hanamura, and you were bored. You fiddled with your belt buckle, opening and closing it, giving off a load clicks. It kept you from not thinking too much. However, you failed to notice, that with every click the belt buckle made, Hanzo got more and more irritated.   
He clenched his fists, which you did notice, so you stopped. No need to piss him off in an enclosed space with no way of escape.  
You closed your eyes, trying to relax. A little noise from the cabin reminded you off a really old song, that your mom had taught you. You didn’t remember the lyrics so well, but you did remember the music part of it.   
Trying to hum it out, you seemed to remember a bit of it, and tried singing it, 

“Kringsatt av fiender,  
gå inn i din tid!  
Under en blodig storm -  
vi deg til strid!”*

You had specialized in learning “odd” languages in High School. Norwegian and Icelandic, since they were somewhat connected to each other. You admit, the reason you had actually taken an interest, was to learn old Norse, because at some point during middle school you’d been over the top interested in old northern mythology.   
But, it also reminded you of the hours your mom had spent helping you learn the difficult languages. The song being sad, and meaningful to you did not help and you were about to shed a tear when Hanzo finally flipped.  
“Shut your mouth, stop being so fucking annoying! 5 HOURS! You can’t even keep it together for 5 FUCKING HOURS” he really lost his cool, and you were two seconds from completely breaking apart.  
“Brother,” Genji said in a really cold and somewhat stern voice, “Leave them be, don’t start a fight aboard this aircraft.” You wanted to shoot Hanzo a victorious grin until, “And you.” You turned to look at Genji, pointing a finger at yourself and mouthing a me? “You have to understand that we need all the peace and quiet we can get, you’re a great singer, but it’s not appropriate at this time and in this place” You blushed a bit at his words, really embarrassed, but nodded. 

 

It was two hours left, and you had tried meditating a bit, which helped calming yourself after getting yelled at. But you got restless again, and left your seat. You saw a mini bar. Well, it’d help if you got a bit tipsy. Grabbing some different small liquors and spirits, you returned to your seat. You popped the mini bottles open and drank them, one by one. 7 bottles were emptied, and you, being a lightweight, felt the good buzz. You leaned back and relaxed, which caused Hanzo to sigh, maybe he realized he should have given you something to drink a couple hours ago.

You landed in Hanamura, still a bit tipsy, but nothing you couldn’t handle. It was pretty early in the morning there, and the air was fresh and a bit crisp. Grabbing your duffle bag, you followed Genji like a little duckling would. The scenery was beautiful, and you couldn’t help but stare in awe. You were being lead into the Watchpoint, and you felt like taking a picture, or paint, maybe even create a sketch, just doing something so you could remember this place.   
“Now, you should get settled in, and could you make the meeting room presentable?” Genji asked to which you nodded, fished out your device and found the map of the base. It was very convenient and made it easy for you to locate things. You found your room, the supplies closet and the meeting room fairly quickly and memorized the route. 

 

The meeting room was sleek, elegant and yet simple. You could in a way call it minimalistic styled, but it was probably just designed that way to keep it clean. Not to say you didn’t love it, but you wished it had some plants to lighten it up. The wooden table was washed and was well oiled to keep it somewhat shiny, the floor vacuumed, the chairs washed thoroughly, you even washed the stills of the room and of course you contemplated washing the freaking walls because you didn’t want to get yelled at anymore today. Knowing Hanzo would come to inspect your job, you brought a ruler, and started placing the chairs symmetrically. The meeting room was cleaned, and you would say it was pretty much ready to be used. 

 

Wiping your forehead, cracking your back and knuckles, you took a deep breath. You could explore the area or wait for the inspection that was destined to happen soon. You decided the latter would suit you better, as Hanzo would probably get pissed if you didn’t show up while he was inspecting it.

 

15 minutes passed and you were getting tired of standing, so you seated yourself on the floor outside of the meeting room, criss-crossed.

 

Another 15 minutes passed, you expected Hanzo any minute now. 

 

Then another 15 minutes went by, now you were getting irritated, where the hell was he?!

 

You packed up the cleaning equipment and left, you knew you’d done a perfect job, yet you wanted to see the look on his face while he tried to look for a spot you’d missed only to not find it. It’d satisfy you to no end, but alas he wouldn’t give you that satisfaction, simply because he didn’t show up.

 

You looked at your pager. Nothing.   
You looked around the Watchpoint to find something to clean. It was squeaky clean. Nothing.  
You hadn’t brought anything to entertain you with, not even your Roomba. Nothing.  
You didn’t feel like socially interacting with anyone, and even so you imagined there would only be Genji or, you shuddered, Hanzo, to talk to. Nothing.  
There was literally nothing for you to do.  
God, you could use a sip of something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * “Kringsatt av fiender,  
> gå inn i din tid!  
> Under en blodig storm -  
> vi deg til strid!”
> 
> Surrounded by enemies,  
> go into your time!  
> Within a bloody storm -  
> devote yourself to fight!
> 
> \- Til Ungdommen (To the Youth)
> 
> if you all got some time, look it up, its a very beautiful song and it means a LOT to me. Honestly just threw this song in because its a great description of how Reader viewed the world. Its very bittersweet, and it was used as a sort of comfort song for Norwegians and Danes. BUT YEA ANYWAYS-
> 
> HAHAh you guys are lucky I had this shit pre-written or you'd have to wait a week... or some… Idk… hope ya like it… Also can u tell that I wanna kick Hanzo in the ribs? Anyways yea…


	3. One of the many missions

A noise in the distance, the ground shaking, deep breathing.   
The heavy weight, tight around your chest, so much fabric yet it was wet and clammy.  
The noise came in closer, the shaking of the ground became more violent.  
Dirty fingers clutching the metal so tight the fingers hurt.  
A disgusting iron flavour in the mouth, mud seeping through the fabric, entering every creek and cranny. Explosions were closing in, the heart beating quickly and hard, hurting the chest.  
No sight, just mud, dust and sandbags. 

You needed to get in a “penguin” position, yet your team had fallen back, hard. The explosions and ground shaking more and more. You were alone, yet you couldn’t afford to come into a state of shock, or shit your pants for that matter. Taking off your backpack, you huddled up to it, closing your eyes, trying your best to imagine that it was a real life person that you were lying next to. Small pieces of buildings and dust fell on top of you, the ground feeling as it was going to crumble up and swallow you whole any second now.  
You could feel the terror and panic creeping up on you, yet you managed to stay huddled up, crying gently. This is what you’d trained for, you’d been in worse positions, you were safer now than you had been on previous missions. You couldn’t scream out in fear, it’d draw attention to you, you bit the insides of your cheeks. Hard.

Blood and saliva running down your chin, mixed up with the salty tears.   
A loud explosion in front of you. The sandbags pushed you backwards, flipping you through the air. You landed hard on your back, the wind being thrown out you, your helmet had luckily protected your head from the impact, yet your whole body hurt. Tinnitus screaming in your ear, headache, a bit of blood out your left ear. Right, exploded ear drum, thank you bomb.  
Fuck everything.  
Snot, tears, mud, blood and saliva covered your face. The explosions continued, yet now they were further away. You lay there on the ground completely still. Thank god for great armour.   
The explosions were so far away now you could barely hear them in the distance. You needed to move. Throwing your whole left arm to the side, you got on your stomach and started crawling up to your previous location to grab your backpack. 

 

What happened next surprised you, yet you should have expected it. You heard screams of pain. Grabbing your backpack, you clicked it in place, went into a crouching position, and clutched your rifle. Using a staff with a mirror attached to it you looked, from behind the somewhat destroyed sandbags, to see if the coast was clear. This you did for some time until you started running in a crouching position towards the screaming, keeping close to the walls, crates and sandbags. The crater was huge, and the sandbags, had done a fucking amazing job at keeping you alive. The screams of horrendous pain came from somewhere inside the building on your right. It might be enemies, but it also might be your team. The nervous and nauseating feeling of uncertainty had to be pushed away, and you quickened your pace, trying not to focus on your emotions and thoughts, only what you were doing.

Entering the building wasn’t hard, as the windows had been broken by the bombs impact effect. Stepping as fast and soft as you could on the broken glass, as to not make much noise, you tried to find out where the screams came from. The insides had pillars that had fallen down, and yet the building had yet to be damaged enough to turn to dust. A couple bodies were crushed under the pillars. Civilians. Checking their pulse, every single body, to check if you could save them. No pulse. Fuck.   
The screaming was louder as you moved from room to room. You stood outside a locked wooden door. It most definitely came from inside that room. Readying yourself, gun safety off, you kicked the door down,  
“GET ON THE GROUND! HANDS RAISED!” You shouted, ready to fire. A fearful scream, a plead for life. 

You analysed the situation before you.  
There was a woman there, a bit of the roof had fallen on her foot. A child was screaming along with her, holding something bundled up tightly in their little arms.   
You put the safety on, pulled off your backpack, “Raise your hands, put the blanket down,” they both complied and the child was sobbing and sniffling as your backpack hit the ground.  
Luckily for them, you had excelled in medical assistance, even if you weren’t on the sanitary team. “Can you hear me? Where is it hurting?” you asked, clearly and strict. She just touched her leg and you quickly moved forward to examine it. A big gash, yet not broken. You cleaned the wound, bandaged it quickly, yet somehow excellently. However, your main focus now, as you knew the woman’s damage was rather minor, was the kid. 

The kid had picked up the blanket while you were fixing what you assumed could be his older sister or cousin, and they held it tightly as big wet crocodile tears were falling down. They had stopped screaming, from shock perhaps, and you rummaged through the outer rooms of your backpack. You found some chocolate and other candies. You reached out to the kid, “Come here kid, I’m not dangerous. Look here some candy! Just for you! For being a big kid, come here sweetie” You knew how dumb you sounded, as if you were trying to reach out for a cat that you wanted to pet. The child remained still. You were happy they knew of stranger-danger but this way you wouldn’t be able to help them.   
You opened the bag of candies, popped one in your mouth, and handed the woman the bag. She looked wary at you, then at the bag, then at the child, then at you again, then back to the bag. You were hoping she’d understand, and she did, as she popped some in her mouth and held out the bag for the kid.

 

You pressed your ear piece, “Team Delta, Soldier 5-308, I got two civilians, coordinates have been sent, requesting assistance, I’m solo” You kept your rifle ready, safety off, as you escorted the civilians back to your previous location, waiting for back-up.  
A flash, smoke, pain, a scream, yours.

You sat straight up, breathing heavy, sweat and tears. You touched the sides of you, you were in your bed at the Watchpoint in Hanamura. You were safe, yet the panic and anxiety caused irregular breathing. You couldn’t breathe, you clawed at your throat, you were choking, shaking. Panic attack. Your nails drew a bit of blood from your throats skin, and you tried grabbing your stomach instead. Your stomachs poor flesh hurt, and you could feel your nails pierce the skin, as you tried focusing on breathing with your stomach. Your lungs and chest hurt but you knew you couldn’t focus on that if you didn’t want to pass out.  
You could scream for help, but you’d rather pass out than giving the Shimada’s the satisfaction of seeing you in your weakened state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for this chapter I wanted to show off one of the missions Reader has been on, and how well, hard it can be for someone… Im sorry for this chapter I swear, I'll let Reader get some help soon… I mean u can probably skip this chapter, its not extremely relevant to the story, nd if ur just here for smut, thank god I wrote some for you. You'll get it… later…


	4. feeling a wee bit better

Damned bags. You were staring at yourself in the mirror. Your throat had a couple scratches but nothing too bad. No one would ask you about it, no one noticed you. Maybe you could message your brother, but you didn’t want to bother him, like you had yesterday. It was 6’ in the morning, you finally had time to put on some makeup, which you only ever did if you were going out. Maybe doing something normal would calm you and keep you busy. You checked your pager before taking out your brushes, no new requests. You had time to choose between contouring normally and/or baking. Starting with your eye makeup, you went in with light natural colours, a winged liner and dared you? Should you wear fake lashes? 

You decided against it, putting on some mascara, making sure it wouldn’t clump up.   
Then you continued with your brows, your primer, foundation, concealer for your baggy eyes and powder. You’d left your contour kit behind along with your blush, so you’d have to settle for wearing highlight only. Highlighting your face, was probably the highlight of your makeup and took you from a solid 5 to a gorgeous 10 in the matter of seconds. Spraying your face with the setting spray, you examined your hard work. Holy fuck who was this beautiful creature, you made pouty lips and winked. 

Wearing makeup was like putting on a whole new personality. You weren’t you anymore, you were someone that could walk the distance, rise early in the morning without needing coffee or looking bad, hydrate and moisturize, kill a man with one simple look. You were better with makeup.  
Brushing through your hair, you decided against doing anything with it, hair “au natural” was a way of life. You looked at yourself in the mirror and gave a smile. Better.

Dressing yourself in your usual work attire went quickly by, though the shoe shining part took longer than expected. An hour had gone by quickly and you had even managed to text your brother. Nothing more than a “Hope you have a good day” message, but it was the thought that counted. Still no requests, and it was still too early for you to start working.   
Breakfast then?   
Finding the kitchen wasn’t hard, as you’d cooked there just yesterday, but finding everything you needed would be tricky. You hated getting used to new kitchens, and this one wasn’t even fully stocked. You had everything you needed to cook some oatmeal porridge, yet no milk, meaning it’d have to be water based. At least you had cinnamon and sugar that you could put on top. Cooking was a calming experience, and you relaxed as you were stirring the porridge. You were treating yourself, you were trying to feel better.   
Maybe you should make a notice that there was food if the ninja boys wanted some?   
You did overestimate how much you’d actually eat, so there was plenty left.   
Typing in the words, “Oatmeal Porridge, available, kitchen” on your device and hitting Publish: Watchpoint, Hanamura, you felt like you’d taken a little initiative. You were sort of proud of yourself, good job.

You were eating alone as always, but you didn’t mind, food was best enjoyed in solitude, right?   
It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t your usual standard. You blamed it on the fact that you had to use water, and poured some more sugar and cinnamon on, trying to conceal it.  
You yawned, scratched your head and stretched. Were you enjoying yourself? In solitude? You bet’cha. Looking through the map of the Watchpoint, you discovered a room named “Library”. Maybe some reading would entertain you later?  
Washing the dishes, and kitchen took under 10 minutes, and you were tired of the fact that everything was so clean. 

As you were about to leave the kitchen, who other than Mr. Grump would step through the door, bumping into you. “Sorry” you said, mildly annoyed with him already. You sashayed away, leaving him. You found some cloth, and decided to walk around the base to look for something to clean. Absolutely nothing needed cleaning, you were certain you were actually making it dirtier by trying to clean it yourself. You had gone through the entire base, and it was only 11 in the morning. You were utterly bored, no requests, nothing. Was this transfer a way of Winston saying “You look tired and in the need of a vacation”, because if it was, you’d wished he’d sent you with better company. 

 

After a quick trip to a nearby convenience store, you were greeted with black sleek cars at the entrance of the base. You noticed the chauffer, clearly he was very nervous, but his attire was quite proper and he looked experienced, as he seemed to wait patiently for the person inside to leave the car. You wouldn’t say you were as curious as you were intimidated by this. You wouldn’t have anything to defend yourself with if this was going to turn into a shit show. Taking a deep breath, you tried not noticing it as you were stayed alert, clutching the bags filled with groceries tightly.

You heard a car door being opened, cue, you running inside with all your might. The Shimada’s would have to deal with this bullshit, you thought sprinting inside, throwing the groceries on the kitchen floor. You could potentially defend yourself with the knives, but that’d only get you so far if they had guns, which most enemies fucking do.  
You had known where you could get weapons back on the main base, but here you had no idea. You’d just have to be really stealthy, maybe you could separate your enemies and grab one of their guns?

Picking up a small sharp knife from one of the kitchen drawers, you started sneaking around. The first step was to take off your shoes, the heavy boots would make too much noise and would make it harder to run away considering the weight. Second step was putting up your hair, if they managed to get a hold of it, it’d mean they’d get the upper hand. Third step was keeping your breathing to a minimum, they can’t know that you’re there, it’d be too exposing. Keeping close to the walls, you moved fast towards the entrance of the base.   
Hiding behind a wall, you readied yourself for a fight. Talking, click clack, they were slowly moving closer, don’t strike just yet, follow them until you can grab one of them.  
They were now in your sight, they hadn’t noticed you. None of them had any visible guns, but you were still not sure if they were quite harmless.

 

Following them wasn’t hard, it seemed like they didn’t know where they were going. You could quite easily snatch one of them. But you remained silent, staying in the “dark”.   
Dressed in black suits, it was hard to tell them apart. You could only see the back of their head as you moved behind a pillar, still not close enough to hear them talk however.  
They went inside one of the buildings turning right, you needed to snap into action. As they turned the corner, you grabbed one of them from behind, your hand over their mouth, knife on their throat. They were taken by surprise, and started thrashing. Dragging them with you backwards, you kicked open a door taking them in with you.

“You’ll be dead before you manage to scream for help, so tell it to me straight, who the fuck are you and why are you here” You barked at them as you held them tight, forcing them on the ground knife still pressed against their throat. The suited man looked as though he would cry any second but tried to keep his cool. “I’m just a body guard, please, don’t kill me, I-I was told that it was just an exchange of information, nothing dangerous!” he teared up, the poor thing started shaking. Poor fella, he wouldn’t have lasted a day out in the field, but no matter, you’d have to ask the secretive brothers why they hadn’t told you there’d be visitors. 

Taking the knife away from the man’s throat, you stood up, the “body guard” was still on the floor crying. Pathetic sight for someone who was supposed to take a lot of shit, but understandable for a civilian. “If you’ve been invited here, I wouldn’t worry about what might come next. I’ll take you to your group.” He was still a crying mess on the floor. You wanted to roll your eyes, but knew how hypocritical that’d be. Sitting criss-crossed next to him, you patted his sides, and there it was, his biggest, most dangerous weapon… pepper spray. Pocketing it you started patting the man’s head, “hey… I’m sorry dude… shit I uh… I guess I overreacted… I’m so fucking sorry… I’ll take you back to your group” You felt awful, sitting there for about a minute or two, the body guard collected himself and you both stood up. You took him with you, still a bit wary of him, but not as paranoid as you’d been earlier.

 

“-ept our part of the deal, now give us your infor-” You had walked right into a meeting. There they all were, the suits, The Ninja dudes and wait, your brother?  
All eyes were on you, but you didn’t notice or care as you stared at your brother, wide eyed. You were sure your eyes were going to fall out, you hadn’t seen him in so long, and there he was, next to cockfucker and green cyborg ninja. They were all quiet, and you got really embarrassed, “Why are you here?” thanks for the warm introduction Hanzo, “Oh, uh… this guy… bye!” You did a 180 and walked right out. Fuck, what were you going to tell your brother?! “Hey bro, so I’ve been kicked outta the army bUT HEY IT’s ALL COOL BEANS since I joined this organization that is borderline illegal were the leader’s a literal gorilla, and everyone’s a fucking superhero and I do their laundry and wash their toilets!”  
Yeah, you needed a drink and preferably something really strong…

 

It was around 20.-ish until you got your first request. “Dinner.” – Genji. Wow, informative. You knew exactly what the fuck they wanted to eat for this late meal, because the request told you exactly how many they were, if they had any allergies or if there was something specific they wanted, yes thank god for that. You had been sipping martinis, and that made you a “mean” (sarcastic, roasting) drunk. Had you not done that grocery trip, you wouldn’t have had enough food to satisfy, what, 14 people?   
Some good old beef would do the trick.

You washed a lot of potatoes and put them in a pot with some water, these needed to boil, like your anger. You started marinating the beef, making sure it was good and tender. Then it was time to take out all the veggies, what kind of veggies would fit this meal? Cutting up some different types of root veggies, red onion and topping it off with olive oil, salt, pepper and thyme would probably do the trick. You preheated the oven, and started making different kinds of starters. Bruschetta, lentil salad, and a normal salad with balsamic sauce on the side. Putting in the root vegetables, so they could roast, you looked for plates and shit you could use to set the table. Carrying all the plates, glasses, knives, forks, spoons and napkins, you headed into the dining room. You set it up all nice, but fairly quickly as you’d have to return to the potatoes soon. 

The potatoes were finished with the boiling and you found a ceramic plate that you could use to further cook your delicious meal. You poured the potatoes onto the form, gave them a harsh smash each, threw pieces of butter on top, salted them and put them in the oven. Now you could focus on putting out the starters and finishing your table.  
Placing the starters around the table, along with some plants you had bought at the store, you felt a bit accomplished, it looked pretty good!  
Heading back into the kitchen, you started preparing the beef. Fishing out your pager you typed, “Starters served, dining room”, and had another sip of your martini. You started on the sauce, just some simple pepper sauce. You realized however, that you had not in fact brought in any drinks. Finishing up your beef and putting them in a heated container, you brought a couple bottles of wine, two big jars of water and one beer into the dining room. 

Luckily for you, the people were too busy talking to each other to notice how you walked around filling up their glasses. As you came to your brother however, you brought out the beer, which is what you knew he’d enjoy the most to this meal. You simply opened it up and put it down next to him, you knew he preferred beer over wine any day. He had always been better at pouring it perfectly into the glass, as not to get too much or too little foam in it, so you left it to him to pour it. You returned to the kitchen, took out the veggies and potatoes and started putting it all neatly together. You were pretty satisfied with yourself, and you returned to the dining room with more wine and water, and two more beers for your brother.

Dinner had been served and you decided to see how quickly you could whip up some dessert. Mango soup with berries and coconut ice cream seemed to be what you had time to make for the 12 people in the dining room. You had miscalculated and made two extra meals, however, you could just eat it for lunch the day after, no biggie.   
Finishing up the dessert, you went out to pick up the plates and bring more wine.   
However, the people had gotten louder, rowdier and you would describe them as, well, drunk.  
Avoiding grabby hands was one thing when you were at a club or bar, but when you were at work, where you’d get in trouble for kicking someone’s face, was a whole other level of difficulty. A smack on your ass almost made you grab a fork, but you kept on walking. The only ones who held their distance was your brother and the “body guard”. You didn’t know where Genji or Hanzo had gone off to but they weren’t present at the table anymore. 

Your brother seemed to be enjoying himself while he was chatting with some other suited dude, and you really wanted to go over and hug him, but you yet again returned to the kitchen. You brought out the dessert and people awed at you, and after they had a taste, they bombarded you with compliments. You felt embarrassed and wanted to leave but it also felt, somewhat good? You felt encouraged and determined as you made your way over to your brother. You embraced him and he hugged you back pulling you into his lap. You started whimpering, it had been so long since you had been with your family, what was left of it anyways. You really wanted to cry, but instead you left his lap, pulled up a chair and took a long swig of a wine bottle that was nearby. Your brother hollered and you smiled, giving of a laugh as a couple tears fell, you had missed him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers feeling better from what happened yesterday, hopefully shit'll go better soon.


	5. Whatever fuck you

You woke up in your room. There was no sheet, pillow or even a mattress. You were staring up at the ceiling. Fuck. You weren’t as hungover as you were cold, and you tried sitting upright only to lean back again. You were still in your uniform, except your shoes were off. You tried feeling your face, had you washed off the makeup? And where was half your bed?  
Looking at your pager you read the time, 07.34, maybe you should take a shower, that always helps. Right foot on the ground you felt something that wasn’t your floor. It was indeed your mattress. Using your arms to help push you up, you tried looking for a reason as to why it’d be on the floor in the first place. “oh” you said seeing a mop of hair on your pillow, with your sheet over them, on your mattress, on your floor.   
Who the fuck was sleeping in your room?

 

Sitting on the edge of your bed, you pulled the sheets a bit further down, expecting the worst. Luckily for you, faith had it just so that it was none other than your brother. You let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in. It could have been a lot worse. Walking over him, you headed towards the bathroom that was linked up to your room. Examining yourself in the mirror you saw that the makeup had been washed off, and a flash of your memory appeared in your head, of your brother holding your hair back as you puked. He had taken care of you even now. Your face even seemed moisturized. 

Undressing yourself, you let the shirt and panties fall to the ground. You softly touched the skin on your stomach. Old scars, and a bit of scabs from your last panic attack’s result. You jumped into the shower, closing the window-like doors behind you and turned on the water. Idiot, the water was ice cold and you jumped back hitting the cold glass door, you hissed, today wasn’t your day apparently.  
Your hair had grown quite a bit since you’d joined, maybe you should get it cut soon? You were thinking as you rubbed shampoo in the wet hair. Maybe you should get a tattoo on your body? You’ve always wanted one, but as you’d been in the army you didn’t think it’d be appropriate. 

Your brother had woken up and already gotten dressed by the time you were done showering and had dressed. He was trying to fix his hair, but with no mirror it was kind of useless. You felt your lips perk a bit, and you smiled gently towards him. “You need some help?” you asked walking over and reaching for his hair, “Morning sis, how’s your stomach?” He leaned a bit down, letting you part and pat his hair. “Eh, this hangover isn’t bad, I think I just ate too little yesterday…” He shook your wet hair a bit, droplets flying everywhere. “That’s good, but what I’d like to know is,” A stern look crossed his features,” What you’re doing with Overwatch, and why you aren’t back on base.” Oh, you still hadn’t told him?  
“I’m uh… working here…” “Well duh, I want to know why you-”” I was kind of, fired? I was let go and given a medal for my bravery and I just, took the first job I could find, which was with Overwatch. I owe a lot to them now. Not money or anything! Just… My appreciation I guess?”

In the kitchen you started making savoury “French toast”, a twist you’d learnt back in the army. Ingredients and spices were limited, all you had were some salt and pepper, and a half used garlic. The treat had actually been really good, and you’d continued making them.   
Whipping up a lot of savoury toasts, some bacon, beans and cut vegetables and fruit, you placed it neatly on the table. You had no idea whether the rest of the people had gone home or not, so you made a lot of food, just in case. No requests or anything on your device, fine.  
You announced that breakfast was being served and sat down next to your brother. 

A sense of normality washed over you, and you shuddered. A long time ago it’d been a norm to eat breakfast together, even when your family and you had been extremely busy. You didn’t know how much you’d missed it. Your mom and dad drinking their coffee and chatting about little unimportant things, while your brother ate all the bacon. The way you’d just feel energised and refreshed after the meal. The looks your mom would send you when you started talking about something crude early in the morning, and the laugh your dad gave off. How your brother would one-up you by saying something funny, making everyone laugh. When the meal was finished, you’d always clean the table, while you poured your mom and dad some more coffee, maybe even your brother. They took it with a splash of milk, while your brother drank it black and bitter, saying the coffee flavour was better when not distracted.   
You missed it, you missed them, you didn’t realize how much you’d missed your brother.   
Tears were threatening to fall, the food suddenly lost all flavour, the bittersweet memories of breakfast together were simply too much for you. Grabbing your brothers hand, you brought him in for a tight hug. You started shaking a bit, sniffling, trying your best not to let any tears spill as the Shimada’s might walk through anytime.  
“I know lil sis, I know.”

 

Your brother had left after breakfast; you’d promised to call him within the week. Saying goodbye wasn’t as painful as you thought it might’ve been, mostly because he told you that you’d meet again soon. You hoped that was the case. Returning to the dining room, Hanzo and Genji was seated, they were chatting in Japanese, and even though you’d learnt certain words, it was on a whole different level. Trying your best not to interrupt their talk, which seemed to get a bit more heated, you took away some of the plates and foods. When you returned the conversation had died down and they were mostly just looking at each other, you grabbed some glasses, but tripped on your very own feet. You fell on top of the glass, breaking them under your weight, you winced and collected yourself. Sure it was painful as shit, but you didn’t want to cause a bigger scene than you already had. 

 

You left the dining hall and went straight to the supply closet, to fetch a broom, a dustpan and a vacuum cleaner. Some pieces of glass had been jabbed into your arms, and you tried best not to think about it as you went back again to the dining hall. The brothers had left, not bothering to bring any of their plates with them. You groaned, you didn’t know what you expected, but you’d hoped that they’d at least asked you if you were alright or offered to help you. The cleaning of the room wasn’t hard, even if you probably were dripping blood everywhere, the pain had become quite numbing and prickly, so you should probably fix that right away. 

Grabbing a pair of tweezers, you poured some anti septic on them, and started grabbing small pieces of glass from your arms. Tears were spilling from the pain, and every part of your body was screaming that you should stop horrifyingly torturing yourself. You grabbed your pillow, bit down on it, and screamed through your teeth as you removed a particularly large piece of glass from your forearm. You started feeling lightheaded, the pain wasn’t subsiding, but luckily for you, you’d managed getting through worse. After the last piece of glass was removed, you started putting on lots of Band-Aids. All the scars you had on your body, yet you absolutely had to get these from tripping and embarrassing yourself.  
You sighed,  
“Fuck me sideways”

 

A week had passed since you last saw your brother, since you’d actually had any human interaction besides the time you’d been to the grocery store. You’d already finished reading three books, and the whole base was completely spotless. The Shimada’s were nowhere to be seen, yet you still left out food for them, and hoping they’d eat it. There had been absolutely no requests, and since there was nothing for you to do, you’d stayed outside and tried to get some sun, even if it wasn’t that hot, or cold, and it was sort of cloudy.   
It was quite calm outside, which you guessed you enjoyed?   
Sitting on the ground, ignoring the fact that your pants would get sort of dirty, you tried your best to do some form of meditation. You knew that it was very calming for some people, and at times it did calm you down, but right now it did nothing for you, even when you were dissociating, the time passed slowly. 

“We’re leaving in 30 minutes, you should pack up” You jumped a bit, as you re-entered the present time. Turning your head, you looked up at the cyborg man, “huh?”.  
“We are leaving in 30 minutes, and you should pack down what you brought here, as we’re leaving soon” Genji explained, in a tone you could describe as somewhat degrading, as if you didn’t understand basic English. “At the same platform as before, right?” you asked, now standing. He nodded and walked away, not saying another word to you. Why was he acting so coolly towards you? You hadn’t hurt him in any way, and you had never done anything to offend him.   
Maybe he generally just disliked you, you wondered, packing down clothes and items you’d brought. You were in no position to judge the man, he was just your boss, not your friend or anything more.

 

The ride back had been quiet, after finishing out-drinking the mini bar, you’d fallen asleep. You imagined Hanzo must’ve been happy, considering you weren’t bothering him in your state. When you’d arrived back at the main base, the brothers had left you inside the aircraft. The omnic piloting it had been the one to wake you up, poor fella had been unsure of how you’d have reacted to him awakening you from your deep slumber, but you’d been too embarrassed to say anything other than a quick “thanks”. Carrying your duffel bag to the entrance, you’d pulled out your key card and gotten ready to scan.   
“Hey Athena, how are things?” you’d asked as they finished scanning you. “I’m unsure of what you are referring to. Soldier 76 has made a request for you, room B02 ASAP” The entrance opened and you swallowed down the lump in your throat, that you didn’t know you’d been forming.

 

A knock. Waiting. Another knock. Some more waiting. A deep breath.   
You hesitated as you put your card on the scanner, a small beep and the door opened. Inside, sitting behind the steel table that was scattered with tid-bits, paper, pens, an old cup of coffee and files, sat the man to whom you probably felt most intimidated by.   
He was, as his hero name would suggest, a fellow soldier. He wasn’t wearing his jacket, just a black t shirt with the Overwatch logo, similar to the one you were wearing.   
His age had nothing on him, you could describe him as a silver fox. He was as handsome as, well, you didn’t know how you’d describe him, but had he not been your boss you would probably have a huge crush on him. Entering the room, you felt as though you’d stepped through the gates of hell. It was as if a heavy force was pressing you down, and you looked at your black boots, shining just as much as they had yesterday. You started cracking your knuckles and bit the sides of your cheeks. You breathed out,   
“You wanted to meet me, sir?”

Hoping the formality struck a chord, you did your little military stance. Maybe he wouldn’t yell at you if you treated him with respect, maybe he’d tell you that he just wanted another mug of coffee? Wait why would he yell at you; you had done nothing wrong? It was as if he was examining your every move, and you felt some sweat starting to form on your forehead and armpits. One wrong move and you could be thrown out on the streets, this man had the authority to do so. You waited for him to respond, or do something, other than stare at you. Did he not know how scared you were? You felt sick, everything moved in slow motion, and you could feel your heartbeat, painfully beating against your chest. A prickly feeling made your legs weak, but you continued to stand upright. 

“Sit.” He said, and you fumbled trying to seat yourself on the chair in front of his desk. You kind of kicked the chair as you moved towards it, and you mentally cursed yourself for being this clumsy. You sat down, hands on your thighs, painfully gripping into the flesh, focusing on your kneecaps, and literally anywhere else than on the man in front of you. Your stomach cramped up, and you swore you could feel droplets of sweat running down your cheek. Oh wait, oh no, you weren’t crying? Were you??   
“Do you know why you’ve been called in here?” he asked, in a somewhat tricking innocent voice, as if he was testing you. “No, sir” you whispered, barely audible. He laughed, a harsh laughter, a mocking laugh. He held his sides, wiped away an imaginary tear, and stopped abruptly. He slammed his fist on the table, making you jump in terror, you flinched, arms up in a defensive position, bracing yourself for a punch, a kick or whatever this man had in store for you. 

“I think you do.” He said, leaning back in his chair. The table had a visible mark, even if it was made out of metal. Your breathing was unsteady and you were about to have a panic attack, you gulped for air, feeling as though you were choking. You had to respond or he’d get angrier, you knew it. You started fiddling with your belt, as you looked him dead in the visor, trying your best to not show what you had in plan in case he tried anything. “What is it you think I’ve done, sir?” that came out wrong, now it seemed like you were toying with him, when in all honesty you had no idea. He must’ve shot you a damn dirty look, but slowly turned a file on the table so you could read through it.  
“It has been reported that you, slept, with one of our informants. Engaging in sexual activities with a third party” he clicked his tongue, you assumed,” Now, there’s certain regulations about that, as you should have known,” a pause, “had you actually read through your job contract, which I assume you haven’t, considering you made such a… grave mistake.”

You looked at him confused, you hadn’t engaged in any sexual activities with anyone during your stay in Hanamura. Wait, was he referring to when your brother had slept in your room?  
“May I ask whom I’ve engaged in sexual activities with?” You should not have asked him that, his muscles tensed up, flexing a bit, and from the little bit of his face you could see, his forehead, you could see angry wrinkles. “Look in the file.” His words were full of venom, or poison? You never bothered with learning the differences between them. You looked in the file, and there it was, a picture of your brother and his name underneath. He was in his uniform. He had looked angry in that particular picture, it had been taken 4 in the morning and he hadn’t gotten any sleep. You remembered hanging one of the copies in your cabinet for safe keeping. He had been pissed at you for that, but he had a similar, if not worse, picture of you, hanging on display in his office.

You almost started laughing as you looked at it, this was all too ridiculous for you to handle. Whoever had accused you for this, had not seen the similarities between the two of you. Your anxiety had long since subsided, was this the only reason why you were in trouble? You just had to ask, “Sir, if you don’t mind, is this the only reason I’ve been called in here?” you almost fucking lost it, you had to battle to not start smiling and laughing like shit. “You don’t seem to realize the seriousness of this situation, this is a reason for termination.” Holy fuck you almost couldn’t keep it in, c’mon, don’t start laughing!  
“Sir, with all due respect, I just want to know if this would be the only reason for termination?” oh god you’d let out giggle, “Because if it is, I think-”” You’re fired! Pack your bags and leave these premises!” He shouted at you and you jumped back, your giddiness erased. You stammered “b-but sir? If this is the only reason for my termination, I think I should offer an explanation, at least?” Tears were yet again threatening to fall, your body had gone cold and you were shaking, “YES! This is the only reason for your termination, now leave this office before you really get me started.” Okay, you could not keep it in anymore, you started crying and wheezing. Your stomach hurt and you fell to the floor. 

You screamed out, laughter erupting from your throat, holy fuck calm down or you’ll piss yourself. You were shaking like shit as you gripped your hair and laughed like a mad person. You could not calm down, this was hilarious! Trying to get off the floor was hard, but you managed to get back in your chair, “Have you absolutely lost it ?!” He screamed out in frustration, but that just caused you to laugh harder, and you put up a finger, “-HAHAH STOP! I’M GONNA PISS MYSELF AHAHAA-!” you laughed out, trying to desperately calm down your laughter, 76 stormed around the table, gripping your shoulders tight, and started shaking you. You stopped laughing and started panicking instead, “Stop! I’ll explain! Just-” You tried to push him, but his grip on you was too hard. 

He stopped shaking you, but you started to almost vibrate in his grip, your nerves turning against you. Both of you were quiet, his grip digging into your shoulders. Your eyes wide open, you were gaping like a goldfish, you closed your eyes and brazed yourself for a punch to the face. “He… I didn’t sleep with him. That would have been disgusting” The hard grip didn’t loosen, “He’s my brother.” you whispered, a tear running down your cheek. His right hand now gripped your jaw, forcing you to look at his visor. “Look, I’m not lying, he-he’s just my brother!” You said in a panicked state, imagining the horrors this man could do, maybe rip off your jaw! “I did not engage in any form of sexual activities with this man, y-you have to believe me! Run a blood test do whatever just, don’t…” He grabbed the file looking between the picture and you. Your tears were still running down your cheeks, and you could feel the room spinning. The world around you turned darker, and you could only focus on the man in front of you. 

 

“I’ll have Dr. Ziegler run some tests on you.” He released you and you scrambled to your feet, backing away from him, you slammed the back of your head into the door, as you fished out the key card from your pocket and held it up to the panel.   
As soon as the door opened you had grabbed your duffel bag and started running. You didn’t bother taking the elevator as you ran down the stairs to level D, where the accommodations where. You could only see a couple meters in front of you, everything else didn’t matter, you jumped over a railing, almost kicked the door in front of you open, and started running towards your room with all your might, the world around you darkened significantly, yet you kept on running. 

 

You crashed into someone, knocking them over. At closer inspection it seemed like you had knocked over Lucio. You shot him a look of terror, stopping your marathon entirely. It was as if someone had turned on the lights and poured a cold bucket a water over you, you could suddenly see everything around you. You stood completely still, not moving a muscle. “Ow.” he said rubbing his head, “You should watch were you run-” he looked up at you and immediately took on a face of worry, “wait, are you okay?” He got up and took a step towards you. You took a step back, you could feel your face beating, you must look horrible. Your ribs hurt, the tears still falling, yet somehow not clouding your vision. He opened up his arms, and looked as though he was going in for a hug. You could most definitely use one right now, but you couldn’t show signs of weakness. You strained but managed to say something. “I’m really sorry, just fine, thanks for asking, I have to go” and you turned away and started walking rather quickly. “Hey, wait up!” He started skating up to you, and you continued to walk faster, just a bit further down the hall and you’d be able to cry your heart out. He was now in front of you, skating backwards, “You don’t look just fine, did you hurt yourself?” he sounded sincere, and he probably was.

“I said I’m sorry, look, I’m really tired and need to put away my things” you persisted, if your voice cracked, your words would be in vain. “Look, you don’t need to tell me what’s wrong, but at least acknowledge that you aren’t fine.” He said, stopping. You almost walked into him. “I… I’m not fine,” You said, “but I need to get to my room, so if you don’t mind, boss, I’d like to go there” You should not have said that, the hurt look that crossed his face, teased your heart and you felt as though you’d just kicked a puppy. “I…” he looked away, really sad,” I’m sorry… I just, I’m really tired and I just got yelled at, so I need to nap a bit, and just,” You were so bad at social interactions, you opened your arms up, a gesture which Lucio accepted. You were now hugging, and you could not be more uncomfortably comfortable. He was shorter than you, by quite a bit, and you put your chin on top of his head, squeezing him. After what seemed like an hour, which really was just half a minute, you released him. “Again, sorry.” You walked around him to your room, leaving him in the hallway.

 

After a nap, that had lasted 3 hours, you tried your best to collect yourself. You were still at work, maybe you should take on some requests?  
Looking at your device you didn’t find any requests per see. You found a couple of messages. A couple from Lucio and two- three for D.Va. They asked if you were okay. You had really done it now hadn’t you? You’d managed to show how weak you really were. If you responded that you were better, would they not bother you about it anymore? It was worth a shot. Typing in the words, “Good Afternoon, I’m fine, just a bad day, nothing to worry about. – Regards.”  
Maybe you should have used an emoji or whatever, but they were still your bosses, and you should treat them as such. However, you needed something to distract you, and as if your prayers had been heard in came a request. Oh, it was from D.Va., video games? Why not, any distraction from a disruptive mind, was a good distraction.

 

“Oh hey!” D.Va. smiled at you as you entered her living quarters. She was seated on a bean bag, a console in her hand as you heard screams of terror as enemies were eliminated in the game. Lucio lying in her bed, reading a book or graphic novel, you just didn’t know.  
“Hello.” Wow, what a warm greeting, you knew you should make an effort, if not a fake one at least. “So… Video games?” you asked, referring to the request you’d gotten. She blinked at you, and smiled brightly, reaching a console out to you, “Let’s play!” 

 

After a couple hours of playing, you finally found yourself relaxing, and enjoying yourself. Maybe even enjoying the company of your superiors?  
“So,” D.Va. started, “You were yelled at? Who was it? Dragon douche? The old Fart? Or-” You snickered and interrupted, “It was Soldier 76.” D.Va groaned, “The old Fart was giving you a hard time? He’s got a major power complex, don’t know why either. He’s just a dick to everyone and everything, my hypothesis is that he hasn’t gotten laid in forever,” now Lucio was snickering, “- but even if that was the case, it was probably uncalled for too? What was it he had on you? Loitering? Slacking off? Not dusting the insides of the couch?” You looked at your feet, you were really quiet, and took on a hurt look, “He…” you swallowed,” Thought I had slept with someone while I was in Hanamura…” They both looked at you shocked, mouth wide open, “Not with the Shimada’s?!” D.Va. yelled out, grabbing the sides of your arms, “No, ew,” you said cringing as you thought of Hanzo, “- with my brother, who coincidentally was the informant.” They both shared a look and fell over laughing. You smiled, “Holy shit! Who reported that!” Wait, who did report that? Surely none of your brother’s associates, considering they didn’t have anything to do with who you were. You snarled, fucking Hanzo.

 

You were on a warpath. After thanking D.Va. and Lucio for the company, you’d gone straight for the training room. You wanted to punch Hanzo in his stupid fucking face, but that’d lead to your resignation, which meant, no more Overwatch. So you did the next best thing, found a punching bag, hung it up in the chains and started punching the shit out of it. After a couple hits, you could feel the strain on your wrists. Had it really been such a long time since you’d punched something? You continued to punch, but now the pain was in the palm of your hands. You hadn’t cut your now long nails, and they had dug into the skin. You needed something to bind your palms with, or you could start kicking. Looking around the room, you didn’t find any tape, meaning you’d have to start kicking instead. You could feel your hips straining to move as fast as you wanted. God, you hadn’t fought properly in quite some time, you needed to do this more often if you wanted to stay on top of your game.

Sweat ran down your forehead, and you wiped it away with your shirt, flashing your stomach. You stared up at the ceiling and sighed, you had punched and kicked away some of your anger, maybe you wouldn’t punch Hanzo in the face the next time you saw him, but you would sure as hell not be fucking nice. Walking over to the bench presser, you thought you’d start out easy, 35 kg on each side. It’d been a while since you’d pressed, rolling your shoulders a bit, you laid down on your back, ready to start repping, “You need some help?” a voice said, making you jump almost hitting your forehead on the weight over you. “What?” you asked, sitting up, and whoa, there stood Zarya, or in your eyes, a literal goddess. “I asked you if you could use some help?” She did this half smile, and you felt yourself blushing, goddess. “Oh, uhm, yea! I could use some help… just in case, hahah…” you were so nervous, a literal mess.

You’d done 15 reps, until Zarya had increased the weight, now you were pushing 80 kg. Sweat pouring, but you could not show her how long it’d been since you’d last pressed. She increased the weight, now up in 110 kg. You felt your soul leave your body, but you kept on pushing, muscles shaking, straining. You were pretty sure your mouth would have been frothing had she not been there. You were done, you sat up breathing heavily, sweat drops falling from your forehead onto your knees. “Good job, now go hit the showers” Zarya said, hitting your back a bit, and you almost fell off the bench from the sudden force. “heheh… Thanks uh… bye” you walked off, kind of slowly, looking back to Zarya before heading straight for your room. What a weird day, you thought trying to move quickly through the halls, hoping you’d not smack right into any more people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHH fucking shit, the next chapter might contain some smut, just because I'm fucking over Reader so badly… but I still don't fucking know who I want Reader to end up with so just… comment whatever you'd like? or I might just pick someone idk… hope ya enjoyed I guess


	6. Explosions

The week had passed by quickly, you’d tried your best avoiding Hanzo and Soldier 76, mostly because you were pissed at one and scared like shit of the other. Your shoulder was still purple and bruised thanks to 76s tight grip. Both Lucio and D.Va. had seemed to enjoy your company, as they now often invited you to join them in their rooms. You had kindly declined several times, mostly because it was interfering with your work, although they requested it, and therefore it technically was a part of your job. You’d managed to go the entire week with drinking as little as possible, mostly because you were scared like shit of 76 and needed to stay on alert 24/7. Man, how he’d fucked you up real good.

 

You were enjoying a cup of bitter coffee that you’d accidentally made too strong. Had it not been because you’re a sadistic piece of shit, you’d have poured that shit, down the drain. The caffeine intake kept your mind off of alcohol, yet made you somewhat paranoid. You were sitting on the kitchen counter, slurping away at the hot beverage. The omnics that were usually in the kitchen preparing food, were out shopping ingredients for tonight’s third and last meal. Had they not been out, they’d have complained about your ass on the counter being unsanitary and you’d have to wash the whole kitchen. Luckily, they were out.

 

You heard some noises from outside the kitchen door, and you hurriedly jumped off the counter, placing your cup in the sink, washing over the countertops with a wet rag and pretended to be really invested in your device as you heard tinkering with the door. Wait, tinkering? The omnics had key cards that could get you in and out of the kitchen. You didn’t have time to think as the door literally exploded in front of you, and you jumped backwards, trying to protect your head.

A really loud ringing in your ears was present, and your head hurt. The pain from your head made it extremely hard to see, it was just really light, colourful and blurry.  
Clutching your head, you wanted to let a scream erupt from the back of your throat, and you weren’t sure if you held it in or not.

 

Panic arose, the base had been attacked and here you were, almost defenceless.

You crawled forward, trying to feel the sleek cabinets and drawers for one with utensils. After finding a thin drawer, which was an indication of utensils being held inside, you dragged it out with force, letting it and everything inside it fall to the ground, and tried to feel your way to a knife. Roaming over a couple of forks you finally find something you could use. Holding a knife defensively in front of you, you tried slowly and quietly backing away. There was smoke, so maybe a smoke detector would go off? That meant this shithole would get foamed. You could use that to your advantage.

 

You could only hear a loud ringing noise, like an alarm, you wanted to cough, but you couldn’t let anyone know you were in there, in case this was an attack.

 

Another explosion erupted, and you fell to the ground, trying your best to cover yourself, while letting out a scream. Dust and smoke, you felt something heavy fall upon you, maybe a bit of the ceiling?

 

Another terrible and terrifying shake erupted, and you tried to brace yourself the best you could.

 

In the foster position, the knife held tightly in your hand you were screaming. The ground would not stop shaking. Your throat felt raspy and sore, as you were screaming for your life.

The awful smell of smoke made your nostrils flare, you coughed, but continued screaming. Why had you agreed to join Overwatch? An illegal organization? Something people would attack! You absolute moron!

 

The ground had stopped shaking and you noticed a presence, your vision still blurred. Shouldn’t there be foam coming from the ceiling? Wasn’t there a fire in the kitchen?

Trying to move to your feet was hard, and you staggered, almost falling over. Trying to be strong, not to puke and focus on the attacker.

But it was proving to be too difficult, as you fell over, dropping your knife, hitting the ground face first.

 

The attacker had moved forward and started shaking you. Your vision was still somewhat blurred, you couldn’t make out a form, just some dull light.   
“-ear me!” what? Breathing was difficult, the room was spinning, but someone was definitely trying to talk to you. “-ou hear me?!” You felt someone feeling your throat, and forehead. What was it this person wanted?

Someone was talking to you, but listening was hard. It felt like they weren’t even talking at all, at least not in any known language.

 

Another presence was by your side, and this person, was easier to see. Mercy… She held a frown as she held your head and held a flashlight. The light stung, and as she tried slapping your cheek a bit, as your pained breathing caused you to snort a bit.   
“Can you hear me?” her voice rung out, and you felt dizzy, and so very tired.

 

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

 

Talking, someone was talking. Not to you, but someone was definitely talking.

No one would be talking if you were in your room, you’d hear nothing other than the AC and your breathing. You moved your fingers a bit, you weren’t wearing your gloves.   
Time to do a damage check. You curled your toes, tightened your thigh and leg muscles, your lower body was not hurt. Good, now moving on you took a deep sharp breath, your chest moving up and down. You still had your upper body you guessed, even though it wouldn’t make sense that you’d be alive if you didn’t.

 

Slow movements with your fingers over the fabric draped over you. The cotton-like blankets were soft, yet held this fabric feel to them, you couldn’t be in your room. Clenching your left fist, you could feel something on the top of your hand. Moving your right hand to gently swipe over the item on your hand, you felt a really small plastic tube, connected to your hand. This could only mean one thing; you must be in a hospital bed.

 

Relaxing your left hand over your covers, you led your right one to feel your face. A nose, two eyes, both your ears were present, lips were still as plump as ever, and you still had all your teeth. Smoothing your eyebrows, you decided to feel whatever you were wearing. Oh goodie, a disgusting hospital gown! Thank heavens for those!

 

A small constant beeping, a reminder that you were alive. But why were you here? Smaller sharper and quicker breaths was drawn and the beeping sped up. A fever like feeling, too hot. You kicked your drapes over a bit letting a leg hang out in the cold air.

 

Luckily there was no headache, even if there was nausea and the feel of something pushing you down. The talking stopped and the swift breeze that came with movement close by was present. 

“You’re awake,” someone with a sweet feminine voice stated, they sounded beyond relieved. Your eyelashes fluttered as you opened your eyes, your vision was somewhat weakened but you could make out the Doctor that was way too close for comfort. She was staring you down, and you felt your cheeks getting hotter.

 

“Uhm…” Well you were off to a great start, you mentally scolded yourself, as Mercy studied your face. You tried not looking her in the eyes, and instead eyed the little table on your right. There was a cup of water, along with your device, on top of it. “I’ll…” Your voice was so raspy… You pointed to the cup, “Of course, have a sip” Mercy smiled warmly at you, her angelic like features highlighting her face.

 

The water was somewhat lukewarm, must’ve been there for some time. Had you awoken later than assumed, or had they decided to let you sleep in? As the water trickled down your sore throat, it somewhat stung, yet eased up your vocal chords. Sighing you placed the emptied water cup back on the table. “What happened?” you asked, feeling a bit brave.

 

Her brows furrowed and she took on a face of worry. “That’s what I’d like to know…” She sounded unsure, and that worried you. She was one of, or maybe, the best doctor in the world, and she sounded unsure. That was extremely reassuring. You groaned a bit and held your head, “What do you think happened?” Why was she asking you what happened? You had, oh… Oh wait… there was an explosion and you must’ve panicked.

 

“Who… uhm… if you don’t mind me asking, Dr. Ziegler, who set off the bomb? Or well, who or what caused the explosion?” She looked seemingly curious and interested now, did you know something she didn’t? “The explosion?” she asked, “yes, the explosion? It caused the kitchen door to explode off the hinges? You know, that explosion?” Had she literally not heard it, had she not seen the damage it had caused to the kitchen door?

“Oh dear…” she backed away, and started scanning over a couple papers and books.

 

Confusion, that was the look she had given you. 

How could she be confused?

 

She must’ve seen the damage of it right?

 

How else would she have gotten in?!

 

You… Were overthinking this… Most definitely overthinking this. A deep breath, in for 7 seconds, out for 11. Just focus on your breathing, the doctor will figure it all out soon, she was the best. “So, ma’am, may I ask,” you were definitely using your fake army personality now, but if that’s what it took to help you out, that’s what you’d use,” What do you think happened? I’d really like to know” you grinned. Wow now you sounded like those disgusting new troupers that thought they had “it”, but if this was going to get you answers, then…

 

“I… Am a bit unsure, but,” she started, calmly, yet again facing you and closing in, “this might sound… fake, but, there really was no explosion.” You let out a small oh? “From what I can see, it seems like… Are you, on any medications of any sorts?” She asked, you shook your head. “That you’re suffering from PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder darling.” It didn’t surprise you, the endless night terrors, how you’d think you heard a gunshot only to realize that there was no one but you around. 

“Oh…” you voiced, “It’s not uncommon for someone that has a military background, but here in your official files it says you just worked with training cadets? Is there… is there something you have not told us?” She sounded hurt, and she should be, you hadn’t told her the full truth. Although your job was officially “train cadets”, it wasn’t your only job. Missions were a huge part of position, and most, if not all, were kept on the down low. 

Unless you were a part of the conversation, there’d be no official way you’d get the information. Your tongue stuck to your palate, feeling as thick as ever. “Yes, a part of training the cadets were… traumatizing… not only for them, but also me, I guess I’ve just started taking on the after effect of it, hahah…” you smiled weakly at her. She didn’t detect the half-lie, but she didn’t seem like she was too keen on pressing the answer out of you either.

 

“I took the liberty to run some of the tests Morrison requested as well, good to know you’re telling the truth” oh shit, she fucking knew of your half lie. “Yeah, I told him so… but uhm… What will you be doing with the whole, uh, information upon my current condition?” Fucking sweat, fucking stammering, you were far too nervous. Would she get you fired? Was PTSD a good reason to get someone fired?

 

“I think that prescribing you something could be beneficial, but firstly I’d recommend you to see a therapist. As a member of Overwatch your medical bills will be paid, no reason to worry about that, everyone here has been offered psychological aid at some point,” she brushed some of your hair from your face, “Don’t worry about it, you’re allowed to refuse, and you seeking out a therapist is not a reason for getting fired, you’ll be keeping your job” she smiled reassuringly.

 

You laughed, it seemed like a genuine happy laughter, but the reality was that you were scared shitless. “Okay Doctor Ziegler, I’ll take you up on your offer” She laughed with you, “Great, do you have a preferred therapist or do you want me to put it in your schedule?” You tried your best to form a warm smile, “The latter, please.”

Well at least you’d be getting some help, but for how long would you be able to keep yourself composed. The explosion had seemed so real, you had feared for your life, you’d felt the ground shaking, the tinnitus screaming in your ear. It wasn’t real, and since it wasn’t, then how would you know what the fuck was?

 

 

Mercy had told you to stay put, that you’d be spending the night at room A-14 for observation. Trying to get comfortable in the hospital bed was gruesome, hospital experiences in general were pretty fucking awful. At least you knew it was pristine clean, because you’d cleaned it yourself. The drapes were at least warm, and you’d gotten to eat some normal food, just some boiled potatoes. The meal was bland, but hey, potatoes are good no matter what.

 

Mercy had left you alone around 20-ish, she told you she had to fix some files, poor woman, you were probably keeping her up. Trying to remember what had happened was confusing, you could remember there was an explosion, not what had actually happened, but what you’d thought had happened. But how had Mercy gotten in? Without a key card there was no, well no easy way, of getting in. In your mind it’d make sense if the door had blown up, but it hadn’t so, who were the first one to the scene?

 

 

The mystery was getting to you, not knowing who had helped you and gotten Mercy, was annoying you to no end. Could Athena have opened the door? It wasn’t likely, she was programmed to not open it… lest there was an emergency? Had she rescued you? You felt your heart swell. You loved Athena, the greatest AI ever, wait… Athena would have the records right?

 

“Athena?” you voiced out into the room. “Athena, I would like to access the records, if that’s possible” “Authorization denied.” They were surely testing you, “… Please?” you asked gently. “Authorization denied.” Fine Athena be that way. You groaned and stared up at the ceiling. Nothing interesting about it, yet it drew your attention. What to do now?

 

 

Around 22-ish Mercy had come by with a change of clothes. More specifically, your clothes. She must have gone by your room to fetch it. “Thank you Mercy” You gave her a gentle smile, so thoughtful she’d been! Even gotten your favourite big shirt! “Didn’t know you could smile” she giggled, “It’s a very nice smile, you should wear it more often!” Even if you knew she meant it well, her words kind of stung, “Thanks… ma’am…” you said, to which she frowned, “Look, I know you like being very professional, and it’s a good thing when you’re working, but right now, we’re having a one-on-one personal conversation. You don’t have to call me Mercy, Doctor Ziegler or ma’am… Just, refer to me as Angela, ok?”

You nodded, you hadn’t meant to offend her but, you blamed it on the karma, “Okay… Angela” She beamed.

 

“If you, don’t mind me asking, Angela, who… Who found me?” She looked at you wide eyed, clearly not expecting that question, “And how did you come in? I thought you needed a key card? And even so, Athena wouldn’t have opened, there was no literal fire in the kitchen, which would mean, no emergency. Who… helped me? Was it the same person you were speaking to before I woke up?”

 

Way to go, Angela looked uncomfortable, shifting in her seat on your bed. She twiddled her thumbs, a nervous habit you guessed, but you had no idea why she’d be nervous, “Well for starters, the door was open when I got there, and I was just talking to Winston informing him of what had happened” She was dancing around your question, which annoyed you to no end, “Angela, if you do not wish to tell me, that’s fine, but I’d like to tell the person that saved me of my appreciation.” You said, trying to appeal to her emotions. Thank god for Pathos!

 

“I… I’ll tell them for you,” she said quietly, “Thank you Angela, now, tell me about your day.” You smiled, maybe you needed to socialize a bit, to get your mind off of… certain thing. She seemed surprised, but started chatting with you, talking about bits of her day, that she was somewhat tired and without you, she’d have to get the machine made coffee instead of the French press one. It just wasn’t the same. “Oh also, Hana and Lucio wanted you to know that they’re thinking of you, and hope you’ll feel better soon. They seem to miss you a lot,” she smiled, “I think we all are, we seem to forget how much easier and better you make our life, until we don’t have you around. When you were in Hanamura? Everyone was on edge, the place was messy and people got into arguments over nothing. You bring a certain… calmness wherever you go”

 

The compliments were a bit overbearing, but you thanked her no matter. You still wondered who had come to your rescue, and you weren’t willing to let that shit go. She’d left after you’d accidentally yawned, saying your good nights. 

 

You tried lying on your side.

 

You tried lying on your stomach. 

 

You sat upright.

 

The mystery was getting to you, even if it shouldn’t. Sleeping naturally would be hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jees, the dRAMA!! the MYSTERY!! yea, might not update tomorrow, but EH, depends whether I have time after work or not.


	7. Treat yo'self

The first meeting with your new therapist was over, and relief washed over you. She’d been reserved and professional, yet kind when you chose not to answer. You’d filled out a form, yet refrained from mentioning where you were working, considering well, it was a safety risk. It was all strictly confidential, but even so, your therapist could’ve been a blabber mouth no matter. 

She was a woman in her late 30’s early 40’s you assumed, rather young, yet somewhat experienced. A couple of wrinkles here and there, and a couple beauty marks on her forehead. After every answer, she’d scribble down something in her notebook, and she’d readjust her glasses. You only let her know that you were an ex-soldier, not much else. There was so much you felt like leaving out, and there was a lot you’d have to leave out. No matter, you’d try to get what you could fixed.

On the way out of her cosy office, she’d given you her business card, and told you to call her if there was something that bothering you. She knew only of what you’d wanted to tell her and it’d stay that way.

 

The office was in the middle of the town, a two hour walk back to base, which might clear your head. You could take the bus, a cab or whatever, but honestly you needed to move. It was your third Sunday, and what you mean by that, is that it was your day off. You were allowed to move freely, to explore. But here you were, returning to base. Maybe you enjoyed the somewhat confined space? 

Walking by different shop windows, you felt yourself somewhat drawn to the grand Sephora across the street. In the army, you’d not been allowed to wear just whatever makeup you’d liked, and you as a somewhat beauty-guru, had been limited. You wouldn’t call yourself obsessed with makeup, but you still enjoyed the aesthetic appeal. Walking up to the zebra lines you waited patiently for the cars to slow down. When they did you moved quickly across.

Stepping inside Sephora you felt a gust of cool air from the AC and a fantastic smell of the different perfumes greeted you. A woman, dressed in black pants, a black shirt, a black makeup belt and skilfully applied makeup welcomed you. Instantly feeling self-conscious, because here you were, make-up less, in sweats and a long sleeved shirt. You continued walking, ignoring the customers that were walking briskly past you.

You instantly fell in love with a new eyeshadow palette from Too Faced. You loved their classics, the cocoa contour kit, the peach eye shadow, et cetera, but this took the cake. Literally, because it was designed to smell like different kinds of cakes. You were hooked, and found a little basket to place it in. Wandering around you found lots of different things, you really didn’t need, but that you felt like you needed to treat yourself with. 

You even found your way into a Lush shop, and had it not been for the fact that you didn’t have a tub, you’d have bought like 20 different bath bombs.  
You got quite a generous salary from Overwatch, and you never really spent it? You got food, clothes, a roof over your head and other basic necessities pre-paid. You’d saved and invested some, but your “pocket” money had been increasing quite steadily over the past months. Maybe it was time to treat yourself for a change?

You were somewhat surprised to find a Forever 21, you thought they’d been long gone after the omnic war, but apparently not? And oh! You found a place to get your nails done, how long has it been since you’ve gotten your nails done professionally? Maybe you even have time to get a haircut! Nothing crazy, just a little trim!

Your off day had turned into a shopping spree, and the bags you held in your hands, seemed to increase on your way back to base. You estimated about 22 bags, but you weren’t quite certain. 

 

When you’d reached the base, Athena had to scan the items you’d bought, as was the norm. At least in your case, the others seemed to be able to walk in and out with whatever they wanted, but as they were “Heroes” and you were not, that’d only be fair?   
You knew it was your day off, but you could not help yourself from checking your device. 

No requests, okay it’s one of those days.

You realized that on days off the others devices would say “No requests permitted” but, couldn’t they kind of… bend that rule a bit… One request wouldn’t harm you per see.  
Getting mildly annoyed over the device and focusing on it instead of where you were heading made you bump into something. 

When you were younger, you knew to say “I’m so sorry” right away, but that wasn’t the case when you’d grown older. Instead you took a step back and examined what you’d bumped into, hopefully not someone that would kick your ass. So apparently, this was how you were going to meet the new member of Overwatch… 

You’d walked straight into Orisa, and you were utterly terrified. “My apologies Orisa, I-I didn’t see where I was walking, so sorry!” The omnic turned, and looked at you, studying you with a somewhat childish curiosity. How you could have walked into someone as massive as her completely baffled you, “Oh, are you the groundskeeper!” Okay, so that was your official title…? fine then…

And from behind Orisa popped a small human, a very… young human? She couldn’t be more than 11! Was this, was this the rumoured Efi? You knew she was young, but not a child!  
“Uhm… yea” you couldn’t help but stare, you were star struck! “You’re Efi, the genius!” you stated, overly excited, and Efi couldn’t help but smile. “That’s right,” she winked, and then curiously trotted over to your bags, “Say, what’s in your bags?” Oh yea, you’d gone shopping.

“Just a couple Knick knacks, a couple books, some makeup and clothes, nothing too interesting” you replied, but started searching for one of the bags. You’d gone by an “vintage” looking café, 2000s themed, what a time! You fished out a bag, “but these treats however, they are somewhat interesting! Would you like one?” You asked opening the bag. Efi seemed excited and looked at you questioningly, as if she was asking permission to pick one, “You can choose whatever you’d like, consider it a first-meeting gift” you beamed. 

What was it with children and you? They seemed to love you, and your maternal feelings would kick in, instantly wanting to keep the children happy and safe. Efi picked a sugary Danish, and you could see the excitement in her eyes. This incredibly clever and talented person was still a child, but you still wanted to show the utmost respect for her. Orisa, seemed also to be extremely curious in the contents of your bag.

“Would you like one too Orisa? I have plenty!” You smiled at her. Omnic or not, the baked treats were aesthetically pleasing, whether they be consumed or not. Tearing the bag somewhat open so that all the baked goods could be seen, you presented it to the omnic. She pointed to a sprinkled donut, “May I have that one, groundskeeper?” her pleasant and somewhat shy voice, made your heart melt and you nodded, handing it over.

“Thank you Groundskeeper!” Orisa beamed, and Efi noticed she’d forgotten to thank you while excitement had washed over her, “Oh! Yes, thank you so much!” They were both so incredibly polite, you wanted to coo at them, but refrained from doing so. They were to be treated as any other Hero, they were your bosses, but you couldn’t help but feel giddy.  
“It was very nice meeting you both, but I have to put these things away, I hope I can be of assistance to you!” you smiled, and they waved you goodbye.

Aside from your talk to Mercy, and the one with your therapist, that was the first genuine conversation you’d had in a while. It was also a very pleasing one, you couldn’t help but smile! It’d been such a long time since someone had spoken to you like that. You pondered, Hana and Lucio had been your earlier conversation partners, but they were out on a mission, meaning that you’d been alone for a while.

 

You organized your new stuff and decided to put on some of the new makeup, trying the Red Velvet smelling shade. Although you weren’t quite certain it’d have a particular smell, you were delightfully surprised. You’d trimmed your hair, so you let it hang “au natural”. You found the new pair of overalls, you hated to admit it, but you loved overalls. It was just something about them that screamed “chill n fashionable”. Putting on a simple white Overwatch singlet, you felt really good! Sometimes you just needed to treat yourself!

 

Admiring yourself in the mirror you felt somewhat obligated to show it off. Finding your phone that you’d left on a counter, you opened snapchat. Even if you felt it was somewhat tacky to take a bathroom mirror selfie, without anyone to take a picture of you, this was the result. A leg placed on top of the bathroom counter, almost activating the sink, you showed off your new shoes and socks. 

The caption needed to be somewhat catchy, but you decided against it just writing “Out shopping, look good? ;) “And sent it off to your families group chat.  
Waiting a couple of seconds, you checked to see why no one had responded. Even if everyone were busy they’d always respond to you in the matter of minutes?

Sending a close up of your makeup you captioned, “Mom look, wingy thingy!”  
Waiting a couple minutes, just checking out every filter, there was still no response. You sent a couple more filtered ones. Another couple of minutes passed.

“Mooooom n Daaaaaad, BROOOOOO respoooond” you captioned a double chin selfie.   
No one was online, what? Oh wait, there, your brother was online!  
You started chatting, “are u @base? Mom n dad aint responding”.  
You waited, while your brother appeared to be typing something. 

“Don’t get upset, I know you miss them, but they won’t be responding. I’m so sorry lil sis.” 

Oh… You’d forgotten that they were gone for a second. It all just came so naturally to you. “oh, that’s right… sorry.”  
You had literally nagged your brother for your parents not responding, knowing that they fucking wouldn’t. You were terrible, awful.  
“But u look good tho 10/10 ;))” he was obviously trying to change the subject. “a bathroom selfie? That’s so 2010s, ur so damn tacky”

“Its considered vintage now!” you responded, joining in on his little feud. “Yea tell urself that sis, gtg tho, ttyl, miss u” he must be busy, “yea ttyl bro, miss u too, love ya lots”   
You closed your phone staring at the blank reflective black screen. Heartache, teary eyed and smiling. Bringing a hand to your chest you felt the rapid heartbeat. “Don’t cry, you just put on some fresh makeup” you said aloud, trying to convince yourself that crying wouldn’t do you any good. Wiping away a stray tear gently, taking a deep breath, you steadied and readied yourself.

 

Taking a stroll around the base, just casually checking up that the common rooms were up to date, and as clean as you’d left them yesterday. You knew they wouldn’t be as bad, most of the people did clean up after themselves, so you were most certainly not expecting the trash tornado that was the common living room area. 

The couch was flipped, pillows torn apart, the TV busted, glass strewn across the floor, carpet dirtied and the wooden table split in half. You gaped at the terrible sight in front of you, anger rising in your chest. Who the fuck trashed the common room?!   
“Athena, WHO DID THIS?” You growled, moving the trash can from the corner in the room with you. “Authorization denied.” Oh wow, was she sassing you, how dared she!

“Athena I want to make a request to Winston, the records of who DESTROYED THIS ROOM!”   
“When do you want to notify him?” Athena was really testing you, and it took everything in you to not start an argument with the innocent AI, “Right away.” You paused, you shouldn’t let anger consume you, “… please.”

What a day off! You thought picking up the pieces of glass, while trying not to cut yourself.   
Pissed off, that was what you were, because not only had the people trashed the common area that you worked so hard on keeping up to standard, but they also did it on your day off, knowing full and well that you’d have to clean it up no matter what. 

It had taken you half an hour to throw out the TV, wrap up the carpet and vacuumed the floor. It looked better but you’d still need some help moving the couch and table. It wasn’t salvageable which meant the room would look completely empty after you were done. At least you’d be able to re-interiorise it, which was a big plus in your book, but it also meant that you’d have to spend a lot of time processing it all.

You’d have to file a damage report, look through countless magazines, take into account the rooms overall look, maybe even buy a new set of paint! Then you’d have to present it to, you gulped, Soldier 76 and Winston, before you bought it all and put it up in the room. The process could take months, and made you feel beyond stressed and annoyed. If you could get the people that did this, you’d strangle them on the spot!

“Athena, has my request been put through?” You asked, cracking your knuckles and neck, “Request denied, message:   
We apologise on behalf of Overwatch for the damage, especially considering it happened on your day off. We hope you can accept our apologies, and we’ll be sure to cover the damages the best we can. The people behind this will be punished, I assure you, it won’t be repeated. However, this incident might have been a blessing in disguise considering the room needed redecorations. Consider it your new mission!   
Regards, Winston” You were quiet. Of course he wouldn’t out who did this, yet he’d told you everything you needed to know.  
The blame game was on.

 

Dismantling the couch had turned out to be more difficult that you’d first imagined. You’d tried several hammers and screwdrivers; it just wouldn’t budge. You were at your wits end, and the frustration was getting to you. Maybe, you considered, you could get a motorized saw to cut this shit into pieces! 

 

After an hour, you’d given up. Everything you’d done, had not harmed the couch, you’d even tried your best pushing it through the narrow door. The couch was getting to you, it was killing you, you were sure of it. It was taunting you, the grey soft and broken couch was taunting you! Staring it down, the couch was obviously winning. Its not your fault you were human and had eyes that needed to blink.

“Well at least I’m not only good for sitting on!”

“I would hope not,” Okay what did the couch talk or was this, you whipped your head around and jumped. There stood the cowboy you knew as McCree. “oh uhm,” he’d heard you talking to a couch, if he didn’t believe you were mental before, this just reassured it.  
“Y’know, couches ain’t good conversational partners. They don’t tend t’ talk back.” He held a shit eating grin, puffing on some cigar. You cringed a bit, and tried your best to breathe with your mouth.

Even if you’d tried smoking before, it wasn’t something that stuck with you. Sure you always had a pack of cigars and a light in your pocket, but that didn’t necessarily mean it was for you. Taking smoke breaks in between drinking at bars, was common, and you used it as an excuse if someone was getting too handsy for you to deal with. You could handle a hand that brushed over your ass at times, but if they came too close for comfort, a smoke break was a good excuse to leave. You also met lots of people in the lines outside the clubs, and sharing a smoke or light was a great conversation starter.

Feeling your mind wander you blushed, you hadn’t responded and now you the two of you were just eyeing each other. “I… I knew that, I was just, frustrated…” You said, trying your best not to show the embarrassment that he’d caught you red handed. He let out a hearty laugh, and you almost started laughing with him. There was just something about this cowpoke that made you feel all warm and gushy inside. He seemed kind, laid back yet determined and spread this kind of feeling that resembled happiness. He was, quite the charmer actually.

“So, why’s the couch frustrating ya, ya need me to beat it up?” he smirked, and you tried your best to avoid eye contact. “It just won’t let me dismantle it, I’ve tried hammering it, screwing it-” he soared, his laughter quite contagious. You almost let out a giggle yourself, “Ya don’t need t’ fuck the couch to dismantle it,”   
“I-I, I did no such thing! I just need to part it in order to move it!” you stammered, shit his charm was getting to you, it was making you nervous, making you embarrassed, making you blush.

“Alright darlin’, I’ll help ya out,” He threw the cigar on the ground, stepping on it. Piece of shit, did he not realize you were the one that had to clean it? He kneeled down next to you and started examining the insides and outsides of the couch, stroking his hand over it. You couldn’t help but notice the bulging muscles, and his distinct smell. Cigars, old spice and whisky, just what you imagined a cowboy would smell like. Trying your best not to stare, you pointed to the part you’d been struggling with, “And ya don’t need it whole? It’s just goin’ in the trash?” he asked, and you nodded, unknowing of that you were about to witness the hottest thing you’d ever seen. 

McCree grabbed the part you’d pointed to with his left metal arm. Taking one look at you, he grabbed the wooden part and closed his hand around it. The wooden part of the couch couldn’t handle the pressure and you heard a loud crack. Out of surprise, you grabbed McCree’s side and let out a little yelp. 

“Now darlin’, didn’t take ya for a scaredy-cat,” Retracting your arm, you felt a blush creeping up, god what was he doing to you? He was most certainly amused at your little action and couldn’t help but laugh at you. “Y’need some more help?” he offered when he’d finished laughing at you. If you were completely honest, it’d help you a lot if someone were to help you carry the couch parts to the trash. On the other hand, it’d take some time to move it all, meaning there’d be plenty of time for your clumsy self to fuck shit up making him laugh more at you. 

Deciding that you couldn’t handle any more embarrassment, you thanked him for his effort and kind of shooed him off. He tipped his hat at you and left the room. Calm yourself, you screamed mentally, why did he do this to you? Did he have to leave you a blushing mess? It was certainly not fair, he knew what he was doing, illegal is what it was.

 

It was around 21 when you realized you hadn’t eaten dinner, you’d in fact not eaten since the baked goods you’d treated yourself to earlier. When you busied yourself, eating wasn’t always on your schedule, but considering the last officially “served” meal was at 18, you’d have to search for the scraps. 

Since you had access to the kitchen, you’d be able to go in and out whenever you pleased, but as you stood in front of the door you hesitated. You were completely alone in the dining hall, there was no one inside the kitchen, yet fear gripped at you. The last time you’d been in there, you’d had experienced a “fake” explosion, which still terrorized you.   
Clutching your key card in your pocket, you were standing completely still.

If you went inside, would it happen again? If you didn’t go inside, would you ever feel better? No one had requested anything from the kitchen, meaning you wouldn’t have to go inside, and the omnics had been kind enough to serve you after everyone had left and they were finished cleaning. Even if people were wary because of the omnic war, you still felt the stigma around it all was quite unnecessary. You understood the reason why people would feel uncomfortable in their presence, but it was unfair to deem everyone “bad” when in reality most omnics were kind by default, just like humans.

Just standing outside, the door not opening or closing, you shivered. It was just a room, no need to be afraid. You’d been there several times. The tiled floor would be just the same. The cabinets wouldn’t budge, but be still. The walk in fridge would be closed. Nothing would be changed, everything would look exactly the same as it always had.

There was no way you’d enter the room; you’d just have to avoid it. Sighing you turned and left, tonight’s dinner? Sleep. Your stomach rumbled, a dying whale scream, you were actually hungry, for the first time in a long time. Hunger washed over you and you wanted to turn, but decided against it. Today fear won over hunger. 

“Hello Groundskeeper!” You saw Orisa, meaning Efi would not be far behind her. “Oh, hello Orisa, and-” you tilted your head and from behind her you could see Efi, “Efi, of course.” Efi smiled at you, “May I request some Luci-o’s?” You couldn’t resist Efi’s sweetness, she was a genius, she knew you wouldn’t be able to resist. Still the grip your fear had on you meant that you’d not be able to enter. You wouldn’t be able to, you just wouldn’t.

“Cereal would not be sufficient for dinner Efi” Orisa said, she had unknowingly saved you, this was your excuse. “I agree, and wait- haven’t you eaten dinner yet?” you eyed her while she looked somewhat guilty. “I- uh, I was working on something and completely forgot about it…” Just like you, you tsk’ed, this just wouldn’t do.

“Since I’ve already treated myself to some new things, why don’t we treat ourselves to some take-out? My treat” that was a horrible unintentional pun, yet what could you do, it was your best material at the moment. Fishing out your phone, you started searching for nearby restaurants that did take out. “What do you want, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, I’m game whatever you want.” You smiled at her, there was just something about her and Orisa that made you feel comfortable and relaxed.

 

After a pleasant meal with Efi and Orisa which had turned into an eating contest between you and Efi, which you had lost, how you don’t know but you did, you’d told her good night and left for your room.   
The hall was silent, and the only noise came from your shoes as you took each step. 

It took you completely by surprise when someone hooked their arm around your neck, yet you still managed to elbow the person behind you. They “oofed”, must’ve knocked the air out of them, but as you tried to sprint of the person grabbed your hand and held it tight.  
About to kick whoever held your hand you managed to stop yourself just in time to see a familiar face.

“Darlin’, goddamn, you got one hell of an elbow” You’d elbowed him right in the ribs, and instead of being angry or scared, you felt worried, “Oh I’m so sorry! You took me by surprise and Jesus, does it hurt? Let me look!” Trying to feel his ribs through the fabric of his shirt. You gently pushed your hand trying to feel for broken ribs. “Handsy little thing, ain’t ya”   
It was then you realized. You had started feeling him up.

You had started feeling up McCree.   
Your hands, your literal hands, was feeling up THE McCree.  
You were feeling up his ribs and pecs.   
You were TOUCHING HIM. 

And if you weren’t as flabbergasted as you were, you’d actually say it was quite enjoyable. How would you describe him? He was like a piece of tender meat? Tough? Tender and mild?  
He’s not a piece of chicken nugget, focus. 

“I’m so sorry, I just, needed to feel, in case,” Stumbling over words, your cheeks warm, you felt intoxicated. “Would ya mind me returning the favour?” he whispered huskily and winked. Taking a couple steps back, you held a disgusted face, was he flirting with you?  
At your reaction he started laughing, okay a joke then, fine, it’s not like you felt stupid enough already.

“What are you doing? That is extremely inappropriate!” You whipped your head around, and guess who was there? None other than Hanzo. McCree was clutching his knees, his face red, it looked as if he’d pass out from laughing.  
“I have to agree with Hanzo, such comments are e-” Hanzo cut you off, “I was referring to you. Touching someone inappropriately after elbowing them? Have you lost your mind?” You’d hoped he’d have some decency as to not fucking yell at you, but he still found time in his busy schedule to lecture you.

“C’mon Hanzo, bet you’d enjoy it! Their hands are so soft, you’d enjoy her feelin up on ya” He winked at Hanzo, who in return reddened, “don’t think for a second that ya don’t find her attractive, I mean she must be the prettiest around,”   
If you had a gun, you might have just shot yourself, or McCree, or both of you. You couldn’t respond, and McCree couldn’t stop laughing.   
“How sweet, darlin’ you blushin’!”   
You wished for bigger hands, so you could completely cover your face.

“And Hanzo, quit being so hard on ‘er, she’s as much part of the team as any of us ‘ere, heck, I would even go as far as saying she was th’ most important person ‘ere,” he said looking you dead in the eye, and showing off that shit eating grin. It looked as though Hanzo couldn’t take it anymore, his embarrassed blush turned to an angry one, “She’s just a groundskeeper! She needs constant supervision or she does a terrible job, and even when I’m helping her out she still continues to perform very poorly.” With a frown you snarled, “Thank you Hanzo, for the lovely compliments and all, but I’m not going to stand here and take this shit. McCree, lovely seeing you as always, Good night!” 

You stormed off, leaving a pissed off Hanzo and a content McCree. While rushing to your room, considering you didn’t want to get “consumed by the dragon”, you cussed loudly. Fucking Hanzo and his stupid face.   
Fucking McCree and his charming abilities that always made you a blushing mess.  
Fucking stupid as you for not kicking them both in the face and storming off like that.  
You needed a swig of something and your dear boxing bag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAH dead in the eye (deadeye), me, a comedic genius. Anyways, hope ya enjoyed it, still unsure who I want Reader to end up with but like… Dunno, going to progress the romance a bit ;))


	8. Clubbing

“You’re so funny!” 

Laughter, smiles, dancing.

“You look lovely! Do you want a drink?”

People were jumping up and down on top of a covered pool table, the coloured lights flickering, someone was singing along to some odd song. 

“Hey! I asked if you wanted a drink?”

You were brought back to the present, and focused on the person in front of you. A short tempered 20-something blonde guy that wouldn’t take no for an answer. Fighting in your state would prove to be difficult, which meant do not engage in any fights you know you can’t win for sure. 

“Oh sorry, couldn’t hear you over the music”

A quite common excuse considering you were in a club, but you did hear him over the music, you just didn’t focus or care enough to let his words be known. 

After a particularly challenging week, with lots of messes, people somewhat avoiding you and a lengthy emotional call to your therapist, you’d decided to go clubbing. Having no friends, or no one you were close to, meant that you’d have to go to the club by yourself.  
You’d considered asking Hana if she wanted to join, but decided against it, the nerves getting to you last minute. Lucio would probably have loved it if you asked, but you were too much of a coward to ask him as well.

“So, can I buy you a drink?”

You wanted to tell him no, but seeing as you were drunk and your judgement was poor, you agreed. Walking up to the bar, the man had his hand on your hip, which slowly moved further down. 

You’d learnt your lesson several times, never wear a dress to a club.   
How many noses you’d broken because of it were probably countless. But if you had to do a serious estimate it would probably be around 9.  
You were just wearing skinny jeans and a loose top, a jacket tied around your hips. It was kind of tacky looking, but who were you to judge, you wouldn’t lose it that way.

The people on the stools on the bar top was chatting happily with each other, and the bartender walked back and forth with several beers. Getting friendly with the bartender had many perks, but you hadn’t gotten a chance to get familiar with the one behind the counter.

“Could I get- What do you want babe?” Babe? Okay this was going too far, yellow alert, ask for water, “I should really just have some water” you voiced out but it was ignored as he raised his hand, two fingers in the air, “two beers.”   
You tried getting out of his grip, wiggling didn’t help you get out, it only seemed to turn the guy on. Did he really think that you’d be grinding against him at the bar top?

He leant forward and nibbled on the exposed parts of your neck, some saliva dribbling down into your top. This guy was either too drunk to care about being a bad flirt, or he didn’t fucking care. “Look, I uh, my friend texted me, she wants me to take her to the bathroom,” You pleaded, kind of pushing the guy off, and he snorted and nudged the guy next to him.   
The bartender handed you the two beers the guy had paid for, and while the disgusting dude was talking to the drunk guy on the stool, you made your way back into the crowd of dancing people. You could hear a distant,

“Women, what is up with them and going together to the bathrooms, you get me?”

Chugging down one of the beers and trying your best not to spill the other one while people pushed you back and forth, finding a way out was proving difficult.   
You were pushed in one direction, a flock of girls that looked like they’d just turned 18. Then you were pushed into a group of guys that were moshing.   
Trying to actually move towards the bathroom was proving to be quite difficult.

 

The women’s bathroom was in a poor condition, there was soap on the grey plastic like floor, mixed with vomit and excess toilet paper. One of the faucet heads was missing, and another sink had been stuffed with paper. There were a couple of people putting makeup on each other, and you decided to check your very own makeup.

Your hair had somehow managed to stay the way you wanted, although a bit dishevelled. Eyeliner was still on point, lipstick and highlighter however? Very faded. Patting your cheeks, trying to bring some colour, someone had noticed your distress.  
“Want me to hook you up with some highlight? Glitter?”   
Touched by this stranger’s actions, you let your face get pampered by some random girl.  
“There we go!” 

 

After thanking the girl, and giving her your other beer as a ‘thank you’ gesture, you decided to go dance. Anything to get endorphins right?   
Feeling yourself, hips swaying, hair flying everywhere, jumping up and down.  
People pressed into you, but you didn’t mind, dancing put your mind off it.  
Hands moving up and down, jumping at the beats, mimicking the lyrics of the song.  
Comfortable, fun, happy!

Until you felt someone grab a hold of your hair, yanking it hard, once. Swishing around to see who’s face you’d have to kick in, you couldn’t see anyone, just a sea of people.  
It might have been an accident, so trying to ignore it you started dancing again, until you felt your hair getting yanked again, but now you were also dragged away from the dancefloor.  
Grabbing the hand that held your hair, you started scratching it the best you could, anything to get your hair released. 

Turns out the guy that had bought you a beer had been pissed because you didn’t return after your “bathroom break” and his friends had dragged you through the backdoor into the back alley.   
“So you think you can just run away after a guy buys you a drink? Fucking slut,” The friend, a pretty big and muscular guy with an extremely punch-able face shoved you to the hard asphalt.

The only thing you could do was lie and hope they didn’t kick the shit out of you, shouldn’t have had that beer. “What are you talking about?! I returned to the bar afterwards, you weren’t there!” You shouted, fuck, shouldn’t have yelled at the guy, especially when he, and his three goons were standing there. “I thought you’d fucking left me, don’t you try and blame this on me!” He yelled, the goons now circling around you.   
“However, you can make it up to me…” Oh fuck, you were too drunk, you were defenceless, and there was no way you’d get out of this without a beating.

They moved quick, holding you down, unzipping their pants. Kicking, screaming and writing underneath their grip, you were doing your absolute best in your state.  
“Fuck off!” you yelled, kicking the guy straight in the dick, he screamed clutching his crotch, one of the guys released the grip on your arm in surprise and you punched the guy holding your left. A satisfying crunch erupted, and you tried dragging yourself backwards to get to your feet. 

The neon EXIT sign of the backdoor started flickering, you’d dragged your ass back into a puddle, be it rain water, spilt alcohol or piss, your ass was w e t.  
Trying to analyse the situation, two were screaming in pain, meaning there was two left.  
Getting to your feet was proving difficult as you were kicked in the side, number 4 had gotten to you, and you leaned over to the side, huffing and released a scream of pain, tears threatening to spill. 

“Filthy slut,” another kick, now to your back. “Stop! Please!” You screamed trying to cover yourself, as guy number three spread your legs and number 4 held your arms. 

 

“Pathetic.”

Gunshots. Someone’s face was in-between your thighs and you opened your eyes, that you didn’t even realize you had shut. Another gunshot and your arms were released; the guy fell head first right next to you. Breathing was difficult, but you did your best, inhaling a somewhat shaky breath.

“Get to your feet. You’re not supposed to be this pathetic.”

The voice sounded like someone churning gravel, very raspy, as if they’d never had water. Black fog surrounded you and out came a man dressed in black wearing a white owl mask.   
Grabbing a hold of your top he practically threw you in the air as you shakily tried not falling. 

“What the fuck happened to you 5-308? Have the “greatest” soldier really fallen so hard?”

This terrifying man that oozed of power knew who you were. His clawed hands grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks, and if you hadn’t known any better, you’d assumed he was doing it gently. Black smoke, fog, or whatever the fuck that was surrounding the two of you, were literally coming from the man in front of you, how freaky is that?!  
You were trying your best to stare him down, but how could you stare something down that didn’t have fucking eyes? There was a huge difference between a couch and the ghastly monster in front of you.

It seemed like he, they? Were doing the same thing. It was as if he was trying his best to not come off as terrifying, but holy fuck, you were alarmed at the sight of him. Screaming would do you no good, he had a fucking gun and had shot two guys, four in fact. This person, thing, could kill you in cold blood without dropping a sweat.   
Crying would do you no good either, he’d called you pathetic.

Unsure of how to deal with the situation, and not being able to avoid it, you had to react and soon. The silence was killing you, it was going to force you into a hyperventilating mess if you didn’t do anything, come on! Act!

“Did…” you started and swallowed, “Did you just kill them?” Wrong answer. This was definitely not what the guy in front of you had wanted to hear, and he retracted his arm, and turned harshly, more fog surrounded him,   
“Thank you…” This made you get an over-the-shoulder look. You had just thanked someone for off-ing four people. This went absolutely against your policy, but you were fucking trashed and thankful for not getting killed yourself.

His next action was so unexpected, but you were sure you heard a little laugh. You smiled gently, you made the scariest and intimidating man you’d ever seen laugh. If that didn’t make you feel proud, what else would?

“So, my place or yours?”   
You joked, and gave of a small giggle. You thought you’d at least made the man flustered or surprised, but he gave you literally nothing. The fact that he didn’t react to that was unnerving, and you wanted to apologise for your very existence.   
If he knew you, which he had to if he knew your numbers, he’d have started laughing at your inappropriately timed jokes. He was not, so if he knew your number it’d mean he was not an ally, at least not from your squadron, which were the only ones who knew your number aside from your brother and parents.

Taking on a defensive position, you knew you couldn’t win, but you’d not go down without a fight,   
“Who the fuck are you, and how do you know my numbers?”   
He may or may not have given you an answer as a police siren erupted and he turned completely into dark fog. Holy shit, you needed to run! 

 

Throwing your jacket on, you started climbing the chicken fence, and sprinted with all your might, taking turns, in the alleys, trying to keep away from the main streets. You were sure that the cops were after you, and you turned into an alley, and found a fire escape ladder. 

Gathering all your strengths, you jumped, trying your best to reach the ladder. Being too short to reach it, even with your amazing jump made you want to scream out in frustration until you noticed a dumpster. If you timed it correctly, a jump from the dumpster top to the ladder would actually work. 

You moved back, shaking your hands, cracking your neck, and counted down from three. Three… Two… One… FUCKING GO!  
Run, jump, run, jump, reach!  
Grabbing the ladder, you held tight and started pushing yourself up. 

Sirens were closing in; you knew they were after you! Even if you were innocent and it was a fucking stupid idea to run. Why had you run? You were innocent! Fucking moron!

You didn’t have time to mentally scold yourself as you started climbing towards the roof top.  
The cold metal stung in your grip, ever so gently reminding you of how shitty life was. You were struggling, you were drunk off your ass and you had just run off from the fucking popo! Are you absolutely insane?!  
Do not look down, just, continue looking up, you were soon there, only 5 floors! That’s not too much! If you can jump out a helicopter or plane, you can climb up 5 floors.

Pushing yourself over the edge with all your might, you toppled over and fell hard on your back knocking the air out of you. Staying there, just lying on your back, you heard sirens closing in. You were royally fucked, there was no way they’d not put you in jail now, I mean who would believe you if you were to tell them that “A man dressed in black with a skull/owl mask killed them and then turned into fog”, it just wasn’t realistic.

 

“That was quite a sight, maybe you’re not so pathetic after all 5-308” 

Thank god, the devil himself, standing right next to you. Had you not been out of breath you would have told him to fuck off. Draping a hand over your forehead, wiping the sweat, you looked up at him, scowling. If this was some sick test, you were too tired to care. Groaning you sat up, taking of the black hair tie on your wrist and pulled back your hair.  
He was still just standing there, looking at you, trying to get to you, scare you maybe? Intimidate you? Why was he standing there?

“You look like death…” He said, and you shot him a look, “I would know.”   
Was that a fucking joke? Was he making some kind of edgy joke that referred to his “skull mask”? Was he being fucking serious or just pulling your leg?

“Not everyone can turn into a dark stormy cloud and fuck right off, leaving behind a drunk defenceless crime victim.” You should not have sassed him, you should have kept your mouth shut, god, you have apparently had vodka tonight.  
He snorted, or you imagine he must’ve, you couldn’t really see his face, 

“You’re too ungrateful for someone that just saved your life, know your place soldier.” 

You’d pissed him off, he’d put a bullet through your brains, just as the guys.

“… Or should I say “ex” soldier? Really fucked that last mission up didn’t you?”   
This made you beyond irritated, this made you furious. The mission might’ve gone to shit, but that was most certainly not your fault, someone had given you misinformation which ended up with you getting capt-

“You were lucky Talon decided to drag your ass out of there… before they realized that you weren’t an informant as much as you were a shitty soldier-”

“Okay what the fuck would you know about that?! It wasn’t my fucking fault; I don’t know who got the wrong information but it wasn’t my fault! Fuck you stupid edgy looking emo bitch-!” You were cut off, “You should know when to shut your mouth. You don’t know who you’re messing with.” Was he threatening you? Of course he was, only because he was scary looking, taller, definitely more dangerous and well, overall, stronger than you, didn’t mean he could talk to you that way!

You stepped up to him, chest to chest. “Oh yea? Fucking make me.” Challenging the scary guy with the guns, do you need an ambulance? Because you just made a death wish.

The two of you were quiet, the buzzing noise of cars, very distant sirens, and the gentle breeze was the only thing that could be heard. Every breath you took made your chest press into his, standing too close for comfort. It was a standoff, it was like a staring contest, the first one to break the gaze were the one who’d lose. It seemed as though you were standing there for minutes, maybe even hours.

Your rapid heartbeat, heavy breathing, and lidded gaze, you were fucking tired, holding this position was taking a toll on you.   
“You win.” Backing off, turning and walking towards the edge of the roof, the same place you’d climbed up, he forcefully grabbed your hand and whipped you around. You collided into his chest. 

“If you walk away, who’d be the true winner here? You really ought to show me some damn respect, considering I’ve saved your ass twice.” Twice? Either he was bad at math or he knew something you didn’t. “Back off man I-“ Holding you tight he whispered huskily, “The names Reaper,” and grabbed your head forcing you to look into the dark holes that was his eyes. “Don’t forget it.” Was it just you, or was this kind of hot?

Drinking gave you beer-goggles, deluded your sight, and mind, this was not fucking hot, he’d killed people, right in front of you! Fucking alcohol. “Back off,” you barked. And he moved his hands to your hips, “Oh yea? Fucking make me.” Was he repeating what you’d said, was he mocking you?

“Ya heard her! Back off!” you whipped your head around, and through the air zipped the loveable Tracer! “Don’t worry love, the cavalry’s here!” And her catchphrase, nice.  
The so called Reaper held you close and whipped out his gun from his holster and started shooting at her. Thanks dude, using you as a human shield, real fucking gentleman behaviour if you do say so yourself. He’d gone from scary to hot, to fucking unbearable douche in the matter of seconds. 

Tracer zipped elegantly through the air, landing on her feet and running towards you, Reaper still shooting towards her. Prying and pushing yourself off from Reaper was somewhat easy considering he was distracted, and you jumped over the edge, letting the two fight their own battle, ‘s not like you had anything to contribute without a weapon.

Climbing down the ladder, the minute your feet hit the ground, you took off to hail a cab.   
“TAXI!” You screamed stretching your arm. A cab pulled up, and you sat in the back.   
The omnic driving the cab seemed pleasant enough and you made small talk as the radio played in the background. Just instrumental music, it was quite calming after such an eventful night. Closing your eyes, you tried to relax as the driver turned left and right and stopped at traffic lights.

You’d almost forgotten about the dead men, but was painfully reminded as the radio news turned on, “Four men found dead in the back alley of a local club”, death felt so… animated to you now. It didn’t feel real, it felt like something distant, unrealistic. As if the people were just sleeping. That’s what it looked like anyways, it looked unreal. 

“Do you need a tissue?”

The driver’s soft words made you aware of the fact that you’d been crying. And not pretty crying either, hard ugly snotty crying. They handed you a tissue the best they could while keeping their eyes on the road, and you thanked them gently.

“Are you worried that it’s your friends?” Not sure how to respond, you nodded, and they continued, “You know, I’ve heard Overwatch has gotten back together! And that means that the streets will finally be safe again! You won’t need to worry about these kinds of things happening on the regular anymore.” You gave off another nod, and turned silent, trying to think of anything but the events that had unfolded tonight, even the numbing of the alcohol couldn’t help you tonight. Maybe it was time to call your therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was kinda hard to get this finished tonight, so the updates might be a bit irregular and maybe every other day instead of every day, but I'll try my best to release a new chapter every night! Hope ya enjoyed this shit show, god I'm tired…


	9. Plain Rice

The process of knitting was proving to be hell. It wasn’t like you didn’t know how to do it, or that you did it poorly, it was just killing your fingers and patience.   
The common living room had gotten a makeshift makeover, just a couple foldable chairs, designing a room was hard and even with Symmetra’s inputs, you had given up for the time being.

After your last meeting with your therapist, that had convinced you to try something else when you felt the need to drink, like reading, drawing, taking a run or baking, you’d picked up some yarn and knitting sticks. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that you were actually doing it, the need for something alcoholic almost overcame you.

The club-incident was what had completely convinced you that maybe you shouldn’t drink, at least not as often and much as you did, so you’d planned a white-month. Nothing intoxicating, “-Besides men. I bet you can get any man that draws near!” your therapist had said while winking at you.   
Ignoring the “you look kind of hetero, therefore you are” comment, you had given off a little giggle.

Furrowing your brow as you started knitting aggressively, you managed to skip a stitch and you let out a frustrated groan, retracing to fix it. While trying to fix it, you’d screwed over the pattern, and it looked kind of fucking ugly. Tossing it across the room you cursed it, and pressed your face into your palms,

“Faens jævla dritt ting!”

Swearing in another language wasn’t as bad, or at least it wasn’t to you. 

“Nej, är ni skandinaver?”   
You looked up, and there stood Torbjorn. He wasn’t the tallest member of Overwatch, yet he seemed like one of the fiercest ones here. He’d been a member of the old Overwatch, an excellent engineer. You knew he was northern European, but never imagined him to be from any part of Scandinavia. With a surprised look you voiced,

“Nei, jeg lærte meg norsk og islandsk på videregående, er du svensk?” 

His dialect and word placement gave off that he was indeed speaking Swedish, but it could still be some weird northern Norwegian dialect. It was definitely not Danish considering he didn’t sound like a potato had been jammed down his throat, Danes had a weird fucking accent.

“Ja, jo, var jo födt i Norge, men jäg er jo oppvokst i Sverige,” 

He literally beamed at you, the scary angry goblin man looked extremely pleased, and you were the person that had made him smile. You should reply, but even if you considered yourself to be pretty much fluent, it was kind of awkward. You didn’t like your r’s as they weren’t as harsh as you wanted them to be.

“Well what a surprise, you learn something new every day!”   
You did your best to form a smile, but it was hard since your still felt frustrated at the stupid whatever-it-was you’d tried to knit. The start of a scarf actually, but it was officially getting “booted”, maybe you could actually sit down and find the furniture and paint for the living room?

Torbjorn picked up your knit-wear and handed it to you,   
“Just be patient, it doesn’t matter how fast or slow you go, as long as you continue moving forward.” Wow, he was being so nice, how could you have been scared of him? How could you have called him an angry goblin man? This just proved that you shouldn’t judge a book by- “Unless you’re driving a car of course.” Was that… Was that a fucking dad joke?  
He laughed, hunching over, slapping his knee. It fucking was. You were a fool, a downright fool. But, you couldn’t help but join his contagious laughter.

 

After he’d stopped laughing, Reinhardt had popped in, he’d greeted you and started an intense conversation with Torbjorn about something you didn’t really care about. “Stay in your lane” a life policy that you greatly valued. Trying to pick up from where you’d fucked up, you were slowly yet steadily dissociating. You guessed it was kind of welcomed? You didn’t really want to focus on anything, so not feeling as if you were alive, even present, just looking at your moving hands, not really thinking anything, was actually proving to be quite effective.

You’d snapped out of your “zone” after a while, even though shit still felt weird. You’d come quite far with the shitty scarf, halfway actually.  
Looking at your device you took notice of a request. It wasn’t really a request; it was more or less a message about that you needed to attend some meeting?  
What the literal fuck, you were never just “invited” to a meeting. There was a process, and this looked to be a big one. 

Leaving your knitwear behind, you started walking towards the designated meeting room.  
The grey dull metal hallways seemed to be filled with the sound of people walking.   
Was all of Overwatch going to this meeting? Because if they were, you’d get extremely uncomfortable. Walking nervously but quickly towards the elevator, you tried your best not to look anywhere but your boots.

Standing completely still, in the back of the elevator, you tried your best to become invisible. Your tactic to dealing with crowds when sober was to try and pretend that if you couldn’t see them, they wouldn’t see you. As logically as that was, it was one method that seemed to work for you.   
There was chatter, but no one talked to you.

A ‘ding’ was heard, people cleared out and you followed behind, slowly. Looking down on the ground and on your boots, you noticed that your shoelaces were getting pretty worn. Maybe it’s time to replace them?   
As you walked by yourself, completely focused on the shoelaces that were outworn, a familiar form approached you.   
“Hey!” Lucio said, while giving a small pat on your back. The surprise made you jump a bit, but you wouldn’t say you were as scared as the look Lucio gave you for giving you a spook. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” He was rambling, and you put your hands up, “It’s okay, you just… surprised me? I was just thinking too hard,” He smiled at you, a very sweet and generally kind smile. You don’t think you’ve ever seen such a kind, sincere and beautiful smile, and it pulled at your heartstrings. Lucio, a strong, intelligent and excellent hero, was so adorable!

“Do you know why I have to be there for this meeting?” You asked, “I mean, the only reason I can think of, is that big boss’ll tell us who wrecked the common living room. Other than that I have literally no clue” It wasn’t entirely correct, you just didn’t want to mention the episode with interacting with Reaper, whoever the fuck he was.

“I have no idea; you’re not usually pulled into these kinds of meetings. It’s normally just us, heroes,” He gave a twisted look, clearly in thought, and then perked up, “Not to say you’re not a hero just! Uh… you know…” You’re new favourite Lucio look, flustered. He was blushing and looked somewhat nervous, which couldn’t be more adorable!

“It’s fine, I catch your drift.” 

There was a pregnant pause between the two of you, it looked as if Lucio wanted to say something, really struggling to get something off his mind. But he kept quiet, and so did you.   
The two of you entered the meeting room.   
It was enormous, the steel walls giving it this kind of “official” and “professional” look, while the cement lookalike floor made it more intimidating. Why this meeting room had a cement alike floor was beyond you, but the person who made this room made sure it worked, and it really did.

The sleek oval metal table that covered most of the ground, was placed in the centre. Above it, a device that gave off projections, such as maps and digitalized files, whatever you’d need.  
In the corner of the room, a simple snake plant, just to give it a more “home” like look. You’d bought it because there’d been complaints on how bland the room looked and well, even if it was such a small gesture, just a plant, apparently it had improved the room. 

At least according to yourself, and the fact that no one ever complained about it again. Maybe they were annoyed by the fact that you’d not really put any effort into fixing the “bland” look, but you didn’t really care too much about that.

 

The worst part about entering a room full of people sitting around a table, is trying to figure out where and who you’ll sit with. If you’d felt more comfortable around your bosses, you’d have already been sitting. Scanning the room, you saw all the familiar faces, and empty chairs, but you still didn’t know who to sit with. Fuck this, just, just take a goddamn seat, never mind if someone yells at you… Okay, mind that.

“Hey Lucio! Hey, hey you two! Come sit next to me!”  
Thank god for Hana, sitting smack in the middle between Hana and Lucio. They were the kindest bosses you’d ever had, and made sure you felt welcome. Stretching, you tried your best to calm your nerves and look comfortable.   
“So,” you started, “why’re we here? I mean, why am I here?” Trying to get an answer out of Hana were you? She shrugged and shook her head.  
“Don’t have the slightest idea… But hey! I have got to tell you what happened on the mission Lucio and I was just on, I swear,” She immediately went quiet and narrowed her eyes at something behind you. There was an obvious scowl on her face, the same concentrated look she’d keep whenever she was playing video games. 

“Do you mind?” she sounded really annoyed, and you turned and fear struck you. Soldier 76 was standing right behind you, intimidating you. You were certain he was staring at you, even if you can’t see his eyes through the red visor. Great, he was still fucking scaring you. The bruises on your shoulders had just barely gone away, and you couldn’t help but feel the soreness from the faded bruises. Gulping, you stuttered, “S-s-sir…”

It looked as if the old man scoffed, and he walked away. “Geez, what’s his problem? He makes me so pissed off! I mean he can’t even keep his fucking distance after assaulting you?” it was apparent, Hana hated the old man. She was cursing his name and legacy, and Lucio tried his best to calm her, even if he wasn’t sitting next to her. Maybe you should tell Hana you were fine, but that’d be a lie. The man had forever scarred the boss-employee relationship between the two of you. Would you ever forgive him? Probably not.

 

Winston was leading the meeting, just giving off some general info. Then he started talking about things that’d happened on the facility, and you waited patiently for him to mention what had happened to the common living room and who had trashed it.   
“-And our very own “Groundskeeper” is,” Okay so that was your official title, “-renovating the common living room on level-” This frustrated you to no end, “Renovating”, as if it was your fault it had been demolished! 

All eyes were suddenly on you. You looked around, everyone looked as if they expected a comment. Rather that covering in your seat, you took it as a challenge.   
“Everyone probably knows that about two weeks back the common living room was, well, unexpectedly… Destroyed?” Lucio gave you a look of encouragement, and Hana smiled, “In lack of better words, completely fucking trashed. Now, the person, or people, who did this, thank you.” Shit, you were derailing, you were getting real fucking angry, “So, I have to completely renovate it, if you have any suggestions or inputs on how you want it, hit me up. Thanks.”

If you’d had a microphone, you’d given a mic drop, but it was satisfying enough to see the look on people’s faces. Most were gaping a bit, some were grinning, and you gave off a somewhat sassy smile and sat down crossing your legs and arms. Hana looked as though she’d holler any minute. Winston coughed a bit, and looked nervous, “Moving on, Tracer?”  
Most were looking at Tracer, but you still felt some staring you down.

“Ah yes! Well, last week, I was just out doing my rounds, and I just, see Reaper, in plain view!” Her energetic hand movements looked as though they were doing the talking rather than her very own mouth. “So I head on over to the twat, and he’s there feeling up a real beauty! I was completely baffled!” OH. She’d seen you. Well, now you were in for it, you were definitely going to get choked to death by 76. You didn’t even dare to look anywhere but your hands, your face taking on a look of worry. “I have no idea who she was though, if she was his… Lover? She got away while I was taking him on,” she popped a couple punches, and your worry washed away. Tracer went on, talking about how she almost got him, but that he managed to “poof” away in the very last second.

76 rose from his seat, “We have checked every video camera in the area during that particular time, there’s no sight of this… woman. We’re not certain why he’d make contact with her, might be another just another Talon agent,” He was interrupted by Tracer, “She was wearing civilian clothes though!” He snarled, “You remember her clothes but not her face?! And how can we be certain that she’s not just undercover?” 

“Back to the main issue, we do not know who this woman was, her association with Reaper and Talon, or why she was there. That’s something we’ll just have to figure out. He’s not far from our base which means,” he looked towards you, “that we’ll be on lockdown. No in, no out, and that especially means you.” He all but pointed to you, and you were almost about to jump up and defend yourself, when he continued, “you are not here to fight, soldier. You have no weapons, and if they got a hold of you, you’d not only have no way of defending yourself we’d also lose a valuable member of our organization,”

You were tearing up; he was being so kind! “Your key card gives you access to almost anything here in the facility, it’d be a huge safety risk if they got a hold of it.” Oh, he was just referring to the fact that you were in the possession of something valuable. That’d make more sense. “So until we figure out who this woman is, you have to stay inside, is that clear… soldier?” That last part was filled with fucking venom, and he was definitely trying to get to you.

You wanted to stand up and shout, “GREAT! look no further, here she is! The bitch who heard a fucking Who! The one and only “lovah’ ” of this fucking creepy edgelord, REAPER, OOooo Terrifying!” but you just gritted your teeth and scowled.   
Hana seemed to be doing the same thing, only she was shaking in her seat. 

The meeting was over and people started leaving. The second you were standing, Hana grabbed your hand and started dragging you, whilst running out. She was really fast, and you had to sprint to keep up. Turning several corners, you were finally in a hall all by yourselves. The two of you were out of breath and she was clutching her knees. She looked up at you,   
“What the literal fuck was that?!” Was she, no she couldn’t be, was she mad at you?

“I’m sorry D.Va I might have come off as a little-“ You’d mentioned her “hero name” because you were nervous, “You’ve done fucking nothing and he literally called you to the meeting just to fucking embarrass you?! I’ll kill the old man I fucking will!” She wasn’t mad at you! Thank heavens, because at the moment she looked scary as shit. The usual sweet aura she gave off was replaced with something a whole lot darker and it really did look as though she’d kill someone.

“I mean for starters, he bitches about this “woman” that Tracer didn’t fucking see properly, and then he says that you’re not allowed to leave the facility because of a fucking KEY CARD?! Is he NUTS?! For starters he doesn’t do it for your safety, then he just goes on to fucking, ARGH! He pisses me off!” You were sure you looked baffled, but you felt a whole lot better. There was someone that cared about you enough to get angry on your behalf!

“Just say the word and I’ll trample him with my MEKA, I’ll do it! But what was that soldier part?” “Oh, I used to serve in the army, right before I joined Overwatch,” She only looked a wee bit surprised but continued, “So you’re trained to kill?” you nodded, “And he calls you defenceless?” You gave of a short nod and a shrug, “How dare he? For starters I could escort you, and secondly you probably don’t even need an escort! How would Reaper even know of your association with Overwatch?” 

You felt guilty, should you tell Hana? She was your boss, but here she was defending your ass. Maybe… you should tell her in case?  
“Uhm… Hana, I, have to tell you something… In confidence,” she looked at you curiously, as if she was a puppy, head tilted to the side, “I… I…” You closed your eyes and braced for impact, “I was that woman.” 

You heard her scoff in disbelief, “Oh really, you?” You nodded, hoping you’d just not made a major mistake. It was quiet, too quiet. You opened an eye, and looked at Hana. She held a completely neutral look, as if she wasn’t even present, and then popped back to life. “Oh this… is bad…” it was your turn to scoff, “You don’t think I don’t know that? What the fuck should I do? ’76 already hates my ass, and if I go straight to Winston he’ll just endorse 76s lockdown and for sure get my ass interrogated!” 

“If we tell, I’m going to get my ass royally whooped, and if I don’t I’ll most definitely get my ass kicked out, if they don’t kill me first.” You said worriedly, “Well, what were you doing with Reaper on that roof?” 

“Well, I was out clubbing, this creep dragged me out in the back alley and he and his friends started getting handsy and well…” You got teary eyed, it did not only hurt to talk about what had happened, but also admitting that you were well, drunk off your ass yet again, “I was… Too drunk to defend myself properly… Had I been sober I would have taken them out by myself, but I… yeah…” God damn, don’t cry now! “And I did get a punch in, but they held me down, and then that Reaper dude appeared out of fucking smoke and…” You made a cutting throat gesture with your hands while making a sort of inappropriate voice effect.

“He knew who I fucking was, knew my soldier number and of my last mission before-” you stopped yourself, hoping she hadn’t heard the “mission” part, they didn’t know that part, “and then the police showed up, and I bolted, climbed up a roof, and guess who was there waiting for my ass? Then Tracer showed up, but it looked as though he knew far more than he led on. As if we were on a personal level of sorts, but I have no idea who he is?”

 

“Don’t tell anyone.”

You looked at Hana, somewhat surprised, but she looked dead serious.   
“If word gets out that he knows you on personal level…” She looked worried, “it… trust me it won’t end well.”  
You took her word for it, “Meanwhile they’re doing the research on “mystery woman”, we’ll have to figure out how the fuck he knows you, an investigation of our own.”  
“I’ll keep it secret, just, I’m sorry” You were crying, and she hugged your form. 

You felt weak, crying over this bullshit, it was nothing in comparison to what you’d experienced. Somehow this mess was what make you cry in front of anyone, even if it Hana was well, what was Hana?   
“It’s okay, I’ll keep it a secret. We’ll fix this, don’t worry. I don’t let down friends, never have, never will.” She stroked your back gently and you sobbed, but now held a smile.

 

After a while the two of you had sat down, leaning against the steel walls, as you continued to weep. It was a while since you’d had anyone to really confide in, you didn’t even really trust your therapist, just, just Hana.   
She was all you’d need, especially now.

“You know, I don’t think I’m even crying about that fucking shit even, there’s just so much Hana, there’s just so much…” You buried your head in her neck, her soft brown hair tickling your nose. “It’s fine, look, in this line of work there is a lot. It has messed everyone up, including me, and it differs between what people do to help themselves. Personally I game, McCree drinks, Lucio makes music, Zarya lifts and Genji meditates, there isn’t just one way to help you move forward. It’s hell, and I can’t guarantee it’ll get better, but at least we have each other, and that’s what matters.” 

Hana, was very articulate, and that was quite poetic, and you couldn’t help but laugh, tears streaming down your cheeks. “You have a beautiful laughter, I’d like to hear it more” To which you laughed some more, drying your tears with your gloves. Hana joined in, and the two of you continued giggling like school girls. It was refreshing, very refreshing, getting comfort from a friend and sharing a laugh. Maybe you were getting better, maybe you were actually improving?

The two of you had stayed in the hallway for a while, until it was dinner time. You rose, and stretched, cracking your back. “We should head to the Mess, before they run out of food, I don’t… like going into the kitchen,” you said, fidgeting a bit, “oh? Do you wish to elaborate on why?” you shook your head, and took her hand pulling her up to you.   
“Let’s go,”

 

People were sitting in silence, in the Mess hall, no one was eating, no one was talking, just, waiting. You whispered to Hana “What’s going on?” and she shrugged. You felt like you looked, a complete and utter mess. Red, puffy eyes, obvious tear stains and dishevelled hair. Yet the crying session had made you regain some confidence, and still holding Hana’s hand you moved towards the “buffet”, where they’d serve the food basically. Only, there was no food. Weird, you thought while leaving Hana behind, moving up to the kitchen entrance. No one was making a sound, just watching you. 

A nauseous feeling overcame you, and you bit the insides of your cheeks, holding up the key card. Your right hand started shaking, you, you couldn’t do it. A headache was present, but you needed to enter the kitchen, it was, you needed to enter the kitchen.

“I’ll help you,”  
Hana smiled gently, and led your hand holding the key card to the scanner. The door opened, and the kitchen was there. Just as it had been earlier. Your breathing rapid, you unconsciously grabbed her hand with your unoccupied one. Taking a deep breath, you took a step inside. Nothing was changed, it was cleaned of course, but, where was your favourite omnic chefs? Looking around they weren’t present, which was unusual?  
Looking to Hana she shrugged, and you noticed you were holding her hand, but did not let go.

There was no food. At least no prepared food. So that was what they were waiting for, checking your pager, there was a ton of requests for food and messages asking where the food was. This meant that cooking tonight’s meal was on upon your shoulders, and you hadn’t even shopped! With little to no preparation you felt yourself stressing out. Roaming the kitchen, letting go of Hana’s hand you looked for anything you could cook that wouldn’t take too long. 

Rice, chicken, pork and vegetables it was!  
Pulling out the three rice cookers, you started preparing and rinsing the rice. Putting each bowl in the rice cooker and turning them on, you continued preparing the meat.   
Cutting away the “nastier” pieces of the chicken breasts, you gagged, you’d never get over the smell. Placing the chicken in a bowl, you decided against marinating them, washing the knife and placing the cutting board in the dishwasher. 

Moving over to the pork, you started cutting it into strips, and placed it in another individual bowl, and placed the board and knife in the dishwasher. You washed over the surface, you started washing the vegetables, and cut them neatly as quickly as you could. The meal would be enough for the whole gang, yet considering you’d be feeding 19 athletes, this would not suffice. 

Starting off with cooking the vegetables, considering you didn’t want anyone that ate the vegetarian option to get meat juices on their food, you tossed it around in the pan, adding spices, appropriate herbs and a bit of soy sauce. You finished the first round of veggies and put it in a big container. The one the omnics would have used, marked “Vegetarian”.   
Moving on, you started cooking the chicken, throwing in spices, and more soy sauce, and throwing in the second batch of vegetables.

You continued doing the same thing with the pork, forgetting Hana’s presence. “Uhm…” You jumped a bit, “I’m so sorry Hana, I was in the zone! Could you, uh… Bring these ones out?” you gestured to the containers and rice. “Oh yes!” She started carrying the somewhat heavy containers out, and you started planning your next move. Maybe some kind of salad? Or naan and hummus? Roaming the cabinets, shelves and fridge you tried to find something you could whip up, that wouldn’t take too long. Lentil salad, hummus, garlic naan bread, and eggplant dip with pomegranate. The Naan took some time to prepare, but the rest was finished fairly quickly. Now moving onto something that could work as dessert, you’d have to settle for just cutting up some fruit.

Hana came back and you asked if she could somewhat “serve” the rest of the food, as you started cleaning the kitchen. She happily obliged, and left you in the kitchen. Your mind was occupied with cleaning, and you didn’t have time to think about what had happened earlier.

“Are you done? Shouldn’t you be eating?” Hana asked, poking her head back into the kitchen. “When I cook, I don’t tend to eat with anyone, I wait for everyone to be done, so it’s cleaned before I take time off.” You told her as a matter of fact. “Can’t you come eat with us today?” You wanted to decline, you really did, but something deep inside told you to join her.

Grabbing a plate, you took some rice, not really feeling all too hungry. You sat down next to Hana, who was deeply invested in a conversation with Junkrat. It wasn’t that you were afraid of them, they just came off as… naturally intimidating? So you were quite wary as you sat down next to Hana, keeping her close. 

“So, you’re the cook tonight, eh?” Oh god, he was speaking to you, and your mouth was full of rice. Swallowing you looked down at your plate, “Uh… yea?” you said, trying not to get spooked, “Because that is by far the best food I’ve had in quite a while! You should cook more, Sheila!” Who was this… Sheila? Wasn’t it aussie slang for woman?  
“Thank you?” Just don’t look up, focus entirely on eating your rice.

“You’re welcome! If we’d had access to the kitchen we might’ve cooked something on the Barbie-” Barbeque? “Remember, we’re not allowed to cook anymore.” Holy shit, if you thought Soldier 76 or Reaper had a dark raspy voice, they had literally nothing on Roadhog. This man, was the epitome of fucking bass.   
Junkrat cackled and wiped an invisible tear, “That’s right!” 

“But I didn’t think you were a “Groundskeeper”? Aren’t ya just a, sorta, maid or whatever?” You made a face, you honestly didn’t consider yourself any of those things, even though your job was well, similar to those kinds of jobs. “I was never actually given a job title, people just assumed I was, well, whatever… Pretty sure Hanzo thinks that I’m his personal slave though, the way he bosses me around,” Junkrat cackled yet again, and Roadhog did something, well… similar.

“Yea! And what’s up with Soldier boy? He calls ya soldier all the time, “Soldier this, Soldier that…” doesn’t he ever get tired,” You shrugged, “At this point I don’t even think anyone knows my actual name.” At this he stopped, same with Roadhog and Hana. They looked in thought. “Wait… Are you guys saying you don’t even remember my name…?” you weren’t shocked, per see, just, weirded out? Here you’d been over 4 months, and no one had ever referred to you by name. The whole situation was well, kind of ridiculous, and caused you to laugh, you hunched over, almost bringing the plate of half eaten rice with you. “ Well, worry no more,” you really tried not to laugh, 

 

“For my name is …”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> "Faens jævla dritt ting" - "Fucking stupid shit thing"  
> “Nej, är ni skandinaver?” - "Oh, are you Scandinavian?"  
> “Nei, jeg lærte meg norsk og islandsk på videregående, er du svensk - "No, I taught myself Norwegian and Icelandic in high school, are you swedish?"  
> “Ja, jo, var jo födt i Norge, men jäg er jo oppvokst i Sverige,” - "Yeah, well, was born in Norway, but raised in Sweden"
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry that this was posted so late, I had an exam and work, have a paper due tomorrow and another exam next week, so I might not be able to post the next chapter tomorrow either...   
> Hana and Reader are getting real tight, and Reader has well, returned to the kitchen, even if it's kind of uncomfortable…  
> Thanks for being patient with me, hope y'all enjoy it!


	10. Paint a room

A sickening crunch was heard,  
blood dripping,  
a grunt   
and gruesome screech.

 

“CRAZY BITCH!”

“You don’t know of me at all do you?” You smiled, shaking your hand, you’d just punched a guy right in the nose. “You don’t get to touch me, we’re not friends, you don’t know me, so don’t act like you know me.” 

The guy scrambled to his feet, trying his best to get up, while clutching his bleeding nose.  
He couldn’t be serious, a broken nose was what sent him to the ground, the big bad man he’d looked like as he entered the room, or well, “torture chamber”.

Power complex, that’s what most of the interrogators had.  
A small dick, insecurity, a loner, someone nobody liked.  
He’d wanted to dominate you, crush your spirits, hear your pleas, begging for him to stop, that you’d let him do whatever as long as the pain subsided.   
But breaking you had proven difficult.

 

As he entered the chamber he could see, just a simple chair, where you were tied up with a thick rope.   
It was such a sight no man or woman could resist.   
A present, something that was yours, he knew he could do whatever he’d like to you, and you wouldn’t be able to run.

Tired eyes, dark circles and bags underneath their eyes, yet their gaze was studying him and his every move. He felt himself beginning to sweat, it was a long time since he’d encountered a woman, especially this young, early 20s he guessed.   
A beautiful, perfect and tight thing, that was just his, oh how he enjoyed the sight in front of him.

Their piercing gaze made him shiver, she didn’t look angry, or curious even, just, bored?  
He smiled, knowingly, soon she’d hold a different expression.   
The people that had brought her in had left her completely naked.   
It was demeaning, it was cruel as the chamber was quite cold, it was like they had known exactly what he liked.

He walked up to her, their eyes never leaving each other, it was a contest that he wouldn’t mind losing, but he still tried his best to keep staring.   
Her chest moving up and down, with each breath, her skin looked soft.  
He’d enjoy roughing it up.  
But first he’d need to see how willing she’d be.

“So… I’m just going to jump straight to it, you have information we want, you will give us the information willingly or… well you know,”  
Her expression shifted, not to a fearful one, but one that said ‘try me bitch’, her eyebrow slightly raised and a grin forming.  
She shifted a bit, straightening her back. It was like the atmosphere of the room shifted, as if she was the one standing there, as if she was the one in control.

“As I’ve already told, I do not possess the information you’d like, yet I’d be happy to help you with the negotiations in order to get you the information you want. So, I suggest releasing me, so I can contact base, and they can get you what you want. Simple as that”  
He didn’t like it one bit, how easily she had dominated him, even when he was supposed to be the one in charge. He needed to change that, soon,  
“That’s not what my superiors want to hear,” he grinned,” Tell them exactly what they want to hear, and I’ll leave you with little to no scars.”

She sighed, 

“Last chance, let me go.” 

 

He had foolishly told her no, but not with words, as much as a harsh slap, immediately making her cheek swell. She spits.

 

“Wrong answer.” 

 

It’d been a while since you’d thought about that event, you didn’t like to think about times you were captured. Even if you always managed to save your ass last second.   
Though last second, didn’t always mean, before you were hurt. 

You were painting the walls in the common living room, just plain old white.  
Speaking of plain old white, guess who’d shown up, and tried to dominate your project. You’d originally wanted to paint a wall completely black, or well a dark grey.   
But just as you’d dipped your paintbrush into the bucket of oozing black paint, he’d told you the colour, or well not colour as much as gradient, would be too dark for the room. 

You’d of course disagreed, but as he still intimidated you, chose not to say anything as you were on paint layer number 2 of the plain white paint.   
It was uncomfortable to say the least, when he walked over, too close to where you were standing and painting, to inspect your job.   
He was definitely in your personal bubble, but daren’t say anything, your rapid breaths indicating that you clearly were scared.

He was right behind you, looking over your shoulder. Even with the sour paint stink, you could smell him. Cologne, maybe old spice? No, it wasn’t old spice, but it was something you’d smelled before. Even so, he held a unique smell to him, why you were trying to determine what this scary man was smelling like was beyond you, but it seemed to put you at ease when you weren’t focusing on the fact that he was too close.

His dominating presence, forced you to think about previous events you’d rather not relive. You couldn’t tell him to leave, and you most certainly couldn’t kick his ass, considering he’d probably skin you alive. You were certain that he was or had been on steroids, or something alike, you’d heard of what he benched.

“That spot right there. Terrible work. Redo it soldier.” The nickname had seemed to grow on him, and it seemed he’d use it as often as he could. You’re not sure why, but there seemed to be a different reason as to why he used it, not just because you were an ex-soldier. But you brushed it off, mostly because you didn’t have time to deal with his shit. You were already dealing with your own.  
Stroking over the spot he’d referred to, you tried your best to make it acceptable by his standards. 

“Is that good boss?”

Seemed like no one here liked to be called boss, because he immediately grabbed your wrist that held the paint brush, turned you around, and pushed you into the freshly painted wall.  
You knew struggling against his grip could break your wrist, so you went a bit limp, dropping the paint brush that hit the floor, but also made a necessary stop hitting your boots, creating a big white mark. 

“Don’t. Call. Me. Boss.” He voiced in his gruff voice, and you gulped letting out a shaky breath. He seemed angry, but there was definitely something beneath the surface of his anger which you couldn’t, or rather wouldn’t, determine.

“U-understood, Soldier 76, I am s-so-so sorry, p-please let me go, you’re hurting me…”   
Instinctively moving a hand to cover yourself from any blow, or at least, that’s what it looked like. You were good at making yourself look more vulnerable, even so the stammering part wasn’t acting, you were scared. Not so much of the man in front of you, as the flashbacks.  
“Please let me g-go, I don’t, I didn’t think I…” 

And here came the waterworks, you hiccupped, which made him loosen his grip and take a step back. You slowly slid down, probably dragging the layers of paint with you.   
It wasn’t completely his fault, that you were like this, you thought. Trying your best to turn as small as possible, hugging your knees, you let out soft whimpers.   
Thoughts creeped up on you, and the painful flashbacks returned, and with them came a burning sensation. 

Prickly skin, fire, your skin was on fire. You felt your heartbeat heavily strumming against your ribs and inner organs, making it difficult to breathe. You were at the base, you were safe, you were at the base.  
An electric shock entered your body, painfully numbing your legs. And then it felt as though things were crawling underneath your skin, and you started scratching. 

“Tell me what we’d like to know and I’ll let you leave.”  
“Tell us what you’re hiding.”  
“WE KNOW YOU’RE HIDING INFORMATION FROM US!”  
“C’mon I wouldn’t like to hurt you, not someone as beautiful as you, tell me what I want to hear”  
“Information.”

“I don’t know anything… I don’t know anything… I know who knows, I’ll take you to them… Don’t hurt me, I don’t know anything… Nothing, please…”  
You kept chanting it over and over, shutting your eyes, clutching your head.  
“Soldier, can you… Shit… Soldier, please.”  
Someone tried to touch you and you screamed in horror,   
“Please no, God no! Don’t, anything I’ll give you whatever you’d like, just don’t, please don’t touch me!”

Had you only been able to see the painful expression he wore, he had turned you into this mess. He must have triggered something, yet there’d been nothing in your records indicating it. Cursing himself, he wanted to help you, he wanted to take you to sick bay, it made him physically nauseous looking at you.

“I’m sorry soldier, I…” Fuck, you were not breathing right, you were clearly having a panic attack, with insufficient knowledge upon how to treat a subject, he contacted Mercy immediately on his com-link. You’d moved your hands to your stomach, clutching it painfully tight, he could see that. He wanted to touch you, hold you, apologise and make you feel better, he’d been annoyed by your earlier actions, god how you annoyed him. 

A door opened, and he looked towards it, hoping to see a familiar angel. But was greeted by someone that absolutely detested him. You were still a mess, but your breathing was calmer. He didn’t need this now, he could go kick her out, but he needed to stay close to you.  
“What the fuck did you do?!” A horrified scream, and Hana bolted to your side, inspecting you for any damage, “Did you hurt her?” he cringed, he did, he did hurt you. 

You had managed to calm down, only focusing on your breathing. 

In and out.

“Can I-” you looked up, oh, Hana had arrived, “Can I hold your hand?” She looked so worried, her brows furrowed, tears forming. You’d never seen her this upset, in fact you don’t believe you’ve seen anyone this upset since, okay just, not now intrusive mind.

Your colourful language lighted up the mood in the room, but you kept on sitting on the floor. Tears were still streaming down your face, and Hana took this opportunity to throw 76 out, just pointing to the door, as he moved slowly. You looked at her when the door had closed behind 76,  
“Hana, can you promise me something?” She perked up at your voice, but obvious concern was still laced in her voice, “Yes, whatever you’d like!” 

 

“Don’t let me drink. Don’t let me have a sip of it, just, keep me away from the poison. The best you can.”

 

“I promise, to do my very best at keeping it away from you.”

 

Mercy arrived after a moment, Hana was holding you close, completely enveloped you. She’d teared up herself, must not have liked to see a friend in a state like that, and your t-shirt had a huge, wet and black stain that was increasing.   
“Oh dear. How are the two of you doing?” She gave you a quick scan with a device, checking in for any abnormalities. 

“Just…” your voice was stiff, rough, screaming always did a number on your throat and vocal chords, “Just peachy, Angela…” She gave a weak smile; she did prefer it when you called her by her first name rather than her “hero name”.   
“Have you talked to your therapist about medication?”  
You knew Angela was concerned, you could hear it, “Yes… I, wanted to see if I could manage without it but… I guess not, huh?” 

Your weak laugh was painful, and Hana clutched your t-shirt, weeping some more, the whole thing was just a mess. “Well then, I’ll describe you some medications, and you keep me updated on-” You cringed, you didn’t want any medication, “Look Angela, I don’t want any meds.” She took on a face of immediate worry, you knew she wanted you to take medications, not because she hated you, but because she wanted you to be better.

You could tell she cared about you, she looked pretty freaking sad when you declined. Her sad expression did something to you, it hurt quite a bit.  
“Okay look, I don’t want any meds, but if that’s what you recommend, I’m willing to try.”  
She couldn’t help but smile a bit, this doctor sure was attached to their patient. You knew she wanted the very best for you, so you were willing to try.

 

You’d stayed on the floor, feeling the paint that had dried the backside of your hair, along with your clothes and hands. It would be a pain to clean off, but honestly at the time you just wanted to sit still and breathe. Hana didn’t seem like she wanted to leave you alone, so she’d put her head on your thighs and decided to take a nap. You were certain the paint fumes wouldn’t be the best thing to inhale, but seeing as you didn’t want to move, that’s just something you had to deal with.

Gently stroking Hana’s soft hair, you tried to think of the future. Would you stop working for Overwatch, get a normal job, a house or apartment, and a pet? Would you be able to live a normal life? A life where you weren’t plagued by stupid shit like panic attacks, trauma or flashbacks? Maybe you’d be able to forget in time, maybe, you’d find the love of your life! Settle down, get a kid, and grow old. Maybe one day all the horrors of the past would be a bitter memory? 

 

You hoped so.

 

The paint smell was creating a really bad headache, so maybe it was time to move? You could handle a “little” headache, but maybe Hana couldn’t so you tried your best to wake her up gently. “Hana, I think the paint fumes messing with my head, we should move.”  
She stirred, but didn’t really wake up, “Hana please, I don’t think it’s good for you.”  
Giving off a loud snore, you sighed, she wouldn’t wake up, at least not right now, which meant that you were the one who had to do something. 

Pushing yourself, the best you could, even with your body and mind sort of working against you. Standing up, stretching, popping your back, you kneeled down, and lifted Hana bridal style. “Time to get you to bed, or what dear?”   
Even if you were around five or six years older, you still felt like baby-ing her.

Walking through the halls, you got a couple stares.   
“Darlin’ you need some help?”   
You could officially not deal with McCree’s flirting or whatever his game was, and softly declined his kind offer. “I’m strong enough to carry her to her room, don’t worry.” You felt like a smile would be necessary to end this conversation, but you didn’t smile.  
“Oh, I know darlin’, but ya look stressed, I wanna do anythin’ to make yer day less stressing, so, hand ‘er over!” He smiled, but you could tell he was sincere. 

Even if you didn’t feel like doing it, you still handed Hana over to him. Very gently, so you wouldn’t wake her. It was a little relief, you weren’t really feeling like carrying her, even if you wanted to keep her safe and sound. Tired, that’s what you were. Incredibly tired. Giving off a huge yawn, you looked to McCree, who also yawned, must’ve been paying attention to you.

When he noticed you staring, he smiled, not one of those shit eating grins that he usually gave you, but a genuine happy smile. He was so sweet, it seemed like he actually cared about you, he was so kind to even offer to aid you.

“Y’know yer ass is covered in paint?” 

And back was the flirty cowboy, it was nice as long as it lasted.   
“Yes.” That was the only answer you were going to give him, and he knew it, “Well as long as y’know ‘bout it darlin’” cue the shit eating grin, thank goodness.

 

You didn’t speak to him, not even when you opened Hana’s room and gently helped him place her underneath the covers. But as you were walking away from her room, he looked like he wanted to tell you something. It was kind of cute how his face looked concentrated, and his gaze met yours.

“What’s on your heart McCree?” You’d never call your bosses “boss” ever again, you’d learnt that several times… He gave a troubled look, yet tried his best to cover it, 

“Y’should take the day off.” He sounded so serious, it was almost funny, “Y’don’t look good,” you feigned offense, “Thank you, you’re so kind.” This didn’t make his expression differ, “’M serious. Ya look like ya haven’t slept in days, yer constantly workin’, ya deserve a day off.” You felt like you were having too many days off lately and had tried to work extra, feeling like you were making up for it.

“I’m okay, I just had a-” He cut you off, “And I’m a fuckin’ horse, look, I get that ya feel like wokin’ hard is the only way t’ feel better but,” he touched your shoulders, his gaze fixated on you, “but it won’t do ya any good if yer hurtin’ yerself in the process. Take the day off, drink, dance, sing, sleep, do whatever ya gotta do, but don’t’chu dare take another request missus,” He waggled a finger at you jokingly, “Or I’mma have t’ tie ya to yer bed.” At this he winked, don’t fucking wink after saying something like that you shit head. You blushed, and felt embarrassed.

“Fine, I guess I could use some rest, but,” you averted his gaze, still blushing, and swallowed, “I’m going to work afterwards.” He brought one of his hands to his chin, gently rubbing his beard, looking in thought, as if he was contemplating your decision, “Okay, but ya gotta rest.” As if he could decide whether you’d actually rest or not. 

You snorted, and he brought a hand to your jaw, making you look at him, “On second thought, I don’t think you’ll actually rest, so, I’ll just have ta make sure ya do.” This was definitely not good, he was fucking planning something, and if there was something you didn’t like, it was unpredictable men.

You hadn’t realized how close the two of you were, you hadn’t realized that the hand that had rested upon your shoulder had moved to your hip or the other one that brushed some of your hair behind your ear, and you most certainly hadn’t noticed a third presence, but that was not your fault.   
“Unprofessional sexual advances yet again, this is going straight to your record.” 

You pushed yourself off of McCree, and looked towards Hanzo. He was scowling, he looked absolutely pissed. You weren’t in the mood, and you could feel anger bubbling. And not the kind of “fuck you, I’m leaving” anger, but a really destructive anger.

“Look Hanzo, I don’t know what your problem is, but I suggest you start leaving me the fuck alone.” You were harsh, but he could take it, in fact, why not give him some more of your anger? A strong bowman like him? He could probably take a lot of hits. “I don’t know what the fucks your issue with me, I’ve been nothing but patient, I’ve taken shit from you for fucking months. You’re rude, your behaviours nasty and toxic, and quite frankly, I’m sick of seeing your face everywhere I fucking go.” 

You clenched your fists, he was baffled but also fucking pissed, and you had only started, “You sicken me, make my day worse, hell, you’re even fuelling my depression! You don’t seem to care about anyone around you, you can’t take a fucking joke, you’re annoyed by literally anything that’s close to you, and you treat people like fucking shit. You feel good huh?” You took a step closer to him, “You feel good making others feel bad, sicko?” Another step closer, and you pushed him, “Huh?! You feel good putting me down?” another push, and you cried out, “You feel good making me feel like shit? You get off on me feeling like the literal worst person ever?” you took a step back examining your work.

He no longer looked angry, he looked kind of sad, heartbroken even. You had lashed out on him, tears were dripping, your own apparently, but with the look he was giving you, he might start crying himself. 

“Because I’m doing a great job at destroying myself thanks.” 

That came out as a whisper, but it was audible. But as you were about to leave, someone grabbed your hand,  
“Apologise.” You turned, Genji? You stared at him, and furrowed your brows, oh boy, he was going to get it too if he didn’t let you go. “Don’t. touch. me.” You threatened, but he held your arm harder.

You wanted me to get angry with you too? Fine, here we fucking go. “So, you’re trying to defend your brother huh? Well, guess what I fucking found out.”   
You’d accidentally seen a wide open file in 76s office while cleaning, guess who had fucking reported you? “Don’t think for a second I don’t know what you did. Reporting me on false accusations? I expected this from your brother, but you? You don’t seem to be as in control over your feelings as you want to be, huh?” he let you go, but you had just started.

“The two of you, I don’t know why the fuck the two of you hate me, must run in the family or whatever the fuck, but I have done NOTHING for you to treat me like this. I thought you were my fucking friend, or at least someone that was okay, a decent person-” you prodded a finger into Genji’s chest, “But you’re fucking awful too. I saw what you’d said about me. I know everything, calling me a fucking whore?” you hissed, “that’s fucking low.”

“For starters,” you raised your voice, “you have no business who the fuck I choose to sleep with. Secondly, you guys are both fucking nasty, that was my fucking brother, and third of all,” you raised your hands, “I’m going to fucking quit.” At this, McCree started protesting, “C’mon now, ya, ya can’t be serious, yer just tired, look,” but you were ready to get angry at him too, “And you.” He gulped, he didn’t think you were going to go for his throat as well.   
“Where should I begin…?” You smiled wickedly, “The drinking problem? Too easy. The ridiculous Cowboy look? As if that hasn’t been done before. “He furrowed his brows.

“Oh wait, what about the flirting huh? Let’s do that!” you were closing in on him and he gulped, “You wanna fuck me huh? Is that what you want?” A hand on each hip you grinned, “So you like making people flustered? Trying to work em up? Is that it? Pathetic, utterly pathetic, trying to hide yourself behind constant flirting with anything that has a fuck-able hole? Are you that desperate, are you so fucking lonely?” He looked pissed, hurt even, “Yeah, sleeping around is good until you wake up to an empty bed. No one fucking loves a one-night stand, you must’ve realized that by now. And well, you “Darlin’” are a pathetic,” “stop-“   
“ONE.”  
“Shut-“   
“NIGHT.”  
”it.”  
”STAND!!!!”

You were most definitely fired, if you weren’t about to get fucking murdered. Here you had insulted 3 extremely dangerous people, that had weapons mind you, you fucking moron.

“What the fuck is even going on with the three of you?! Why is it you can’t be fucking normal? Is it too much to ask to have a professional work relationship between an employer and their bosses? Honestly, I’m asking here!” No one answered you, you had definitely overstepped your boundaries. They looked… They didn’t even look angry, they just took your anger and frustration, they took it all, as if they deserved it.

The sight was hurting you. None of them looked at you, at the ground, the wall, anything but you. The silence was uncomfortable. And you stood there huffing. Angry, wet tears running down your cheeks. 

 

“If you fucking hate me, just… fire me already.”

 

No response.

 

“Can’t you guys hear me?! I said fire me!”

 

You tried to dry your tears, but the constant stream was making it hard.

 

“FIRE ME!”

 

They didn’t move,   
“Just… go.”   
McCree spoke.

You stood there watching them, was that his way of firing you? If anything, you’ll at least go lock yourself up in your room. 

 

 

 

Maybe tomorrow would be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOO BOI lots of anger there eh?? At least one mystery has been solved…   
> Hope ya enjoyed this mess, #blessthismess
> 
> But yea, if anyone has any suggestions as to whom Reader should end up with or whatever, here's my tumblr:
> 
> http://nopersdopers.tumblr.com


	11. Guilty

Guilt.

 

You felt so unbearably guilty. 

You’d been so angry with them, so unbelievably angry, and you were embarrassed. 

Even if you had a shitty day, you couldn’t excuse your behaviour, it, it was totally uncalled for!

Even if it had felt so inexplicably good to get it all out there.

 

You can’t get out of bed, the guilt is eating away at you. Being awake for a couple hours already, but not wanting to move. Or, well you did want to move, you needed to pee, but moving out of the bed would mean that you’d have to spend energy you didn’t have.  
Looking at your device you saw no requests. No messages.  
They had fired you, didn’t they?

 

Finally facing your problems head on, you managed to get one foot on the ground. At least that counted for something, right? Slowly putting more weight on your foot, your body, thanks to gravity, started moving down towards the floor. It didn’t really help, seeing as now you were on the floor, still as immovable as ever. 

You contemplated peeing yourself, but decided against it and moved quickly towards the bathroom, just in time. Looking at your device, you still didn’t see any requests or messages.   
You washed your hands and looked at your makeup. Well if you were getting fired, might as well look amazing.

Yesterday you’d gotten the paint out of your hair and skin, and you’d scrubbed your boots for at least an hour, but your clothes were unsalvageable. Oh well, you thought, brushing your hair. Today was a day were you needed to look your absolute best, no matter if you still have a job or not. 

Pulling on a black spaghetti strap dress, a big flannel shirt, some knee high socks and your boots, you started doing your makeup. Today called for a wing, maybe even fake lashes. 

After packing your belongings into your two duffel bags, and brushing your teeth, you took a long hard look at yourself in the mirror.

 

You’d fucked up. So badly.

 

You’d let your emotions get the best of you.  
You should call your brother, maybe beg him to get you a transfer to his department?  
Or… You could start completely over?

 

Trying your best not to get in any contact with the members of Overwatch was not proving to be so difficult, and you got your pillow sheets and other textiles washed, dried and ironed. You cleaned out your room, it was the least you could do.

 

Moving towards 76s office, you had yet to encounter anyone, it was around 12-ish, meaning there should be plenty of people around the base, lunch would start at 13:00.  
Taking a deep breath, you knocked. No answer, another knock. There was still no answer, so that meant that he was either really busy, or he was expecting you.

He was sitting at his desk, studying some files, and some images on a projector. You gave a slight cough, just to catch his attention, which did, as he jerked his head to look towards you.  
You tried to put any fear towards him behind you, as you moved forward, and sat down on the chair in front of his desk. You dropped your duffel bags on your sides and looked at him. 

 

You sat there for quite some time.

 

About 5 minutes passed in complete silence, which was really awkward considering you just wanted to get it over with.  
Maybe you needed to initiate it?

“So… I’ve cleaned out my room, and packed all my things.”

Maybe this should get the process of getting fired along. But all it did was, well, nothing. He just continued looking at you, as if you were some kind of strange animal at the zoo.

“Uhm… I mean, I have been kind of fired once before but uh, can you just go on and fire me?” 

It would feel like someone was ripping off a Band-Aid, really painful right away, but better afterwards.

He just continued to stare at you, and you thought that he was too angry to move for a second.

“Since when were you fired?”

He asked, as a matter of fact. And you stared at him in disbelief, didn’t he know that you had flipped?

“I suppose since yesterday? So here’s the key card, it was fun- “

“If you think I’m going to accept this, you’re wrong, soldier.”

You looked at him, did he not know of the horrible things you’d said? The horrible things you’d done?

“I should be fired-” “On what ground.”

“Well for starters, I’ve been taking more days off lately, secondly I’ve had uh… some really “bad” days, and third, I kind of insulted Hanzo, Genji and McCree yesterday…”

He looked in thought, for a second, and then continued,

“Who hasn’t? From what I’ve heard, it was justified as well.” 

So he had heard of what had happened, he must be angry at you for finding out how you found out who’d complained. 

“But, I, uh…” You couldn’t think straight, just fumbling over words, hoping a sentence would form. “If anything, I thought you’d be quitting.”  
You looked surprised, almost shocked, “Why?”

“Because I triggered you yesterday, I obviously should not have done that. It’s been a while since I’ve worked with an actual soldier, tend to forget that you also experience a lot of trauma and that you’re not just some machine, but a person. I’m,” He rubbed his neck and looked away, he looked in pain, “I’m really sorry, I don’t know how I can… if I can make it up to you.” 

Wow, you’d actually gotten an apology out of him. It was… it was kind of a good content feeling bubbling up inside you. Even if he’d been a total fucking dick, he’d finally apologised, and that’s good for something, “I mean, there’s not a lot you can do to fix it, but in the future I would like to not get barked at right away, you know? Just… I don’t know, tell the issue to me straight without getting angry?” 

“In the future? No quitting, soldier?”

You smiled, “Unless you’re firing me, or you deem it necessary, I think… I’d very much like to stay and continue my work.”  
Since you couldn’t see his facial expression, you had to guess from the rest of his body language, and he seemed relieved? Happy?  
And then you remembered, why he’d gotten angry in the first place, maybe you should check up with him.

“So you don’t like being called Boss eh? What would you prefer, so I don’t make the same mistake in the future?” You stood up, picking up your duffel bags and heading for the door, opening it and leaning into its frame

 

“Morrison’s fine.”

 

You took a step outside, about to leave when you heard,

 

“Oh, and you look absolutely beautiful in that dress.”

The door closed, and a light blush dusted your cheeks.

But it immediately faded when you walked straight into Hanzo,   
or at least you thought it was Hanzo,   
on closer inspection, it was not Hanzo.   
It wasn’t even someone who resembled Hanzo, why would you think it even was him?

 

“I, uh…” You were looking at the person in front of you and gulped. You knew Junkrat was harmless, or well not harmless, but that he didn’t give off a feel that he’d ever hurt you intentionally, but here you were, stammering, looking so scared.  
“I, Sorry.” 

He gave off a wicked grin, “I sorry?” and cackled. He hit his knee, and wiped a fake tear, it looked very cartoon-ish and you wondered why he was so, well, childlike?  
He was energetic, he was brash, definitely confident and he would laugh at almost anything.  
Seemed like he was the complete opposite of you at the moment. You’d been… You’d had a more similar personality when you were a kid yourself, and in your late teens.

He seemed so pure, untouched by the difficulties and stress of the world, even though you knew it not to be true. He was from Australia, a well, in lack of better words, a fucking dump.  
You knew few details beside the fact that it was consumed by trash, weapons, violence and junkers.

Not knowing how to respond to his antics, you just stood there, in silence, watching him. He sported a metal leg and arm, hunched over, his back must be in constant pain, he had a tire on his back, why he did, you were unsure, but you weren’t one to judge. Okay you were one to judge, but you’d never say anything rude to someone or well, you know… Just forget about it.

“So ya went and met with the soldier, are ya fired?” You looked at him, and then away, you hadn’t really expected him to- well you did expect him to be straight forward, but that didn’t mean you didn’t find it a somewhat “taboo” theme. “Yes and no… I get to keep my job… Apparently they “deserved it” after the way they’d treated me,” You groaned, “Still don’t mean I don’t feel guilty.”

He cackled yet again, patting your back, “From what I heard, ya gave them a proper lecture, Sheila.” He didn’t pick up on your sadness or guilt, maybe he had a problem with reading the room? “I guess… I should go apologize, but I’m not really feeling it right now…” You continued to look away, but knew he was grinning, “Don’t worry your little head, they can handle it.” But you weren’t quite as sure. 

“The omnic bastards have returned to the kitchen, their food as bland as ever.” Thank god he changed the subject, you wouldn’t have been able to keep talking about it forever, maybe he could read the room after all? “I mean shit, it’s goddamn awful, and I’ve eaten literal garbage.” You saw him grinning, was he proud of eating garbage?

“Do you want me to complain?” you asked gently, “Because I’m sure they’ll improve if I-” He cut you off, “I’d like you to cook instead of those disgusting lumps of wasted metal.” You knew what the omnics had done to his home country, you knew the hatred, you’d experienced it first-hand. Not ever in Australia, but other parts of the world.

Most of your missions had been in places that were destroyed by omnics, society somewhat unable to start building up around it. It’d caused awful crime, drugs in production, and well, lots and lots of death. You’d seen the horror in children’s faces when you’d wear armour that somewhat resembled metal, reminding them, their parents and their grandparents of the horrors they’d been put through.  
You tended not to wear any metal, and keeping your weapons to a minimum, hidden away or shown in plain sight so they’d know what you sported.

“I’ll…” you started, you knew his hatred for them was somewhat justified, but even so, it still felt so unnecessary. They hadn’t ever hurt him, but alas, you continued, “I’ll see what I can cook up for you…” At this he grinned and stretched, holy fuck, he was so fucking tall?! Must be way past two meters, honestly what the fuck?! He had looked smaller than you, but obviously that wasn’t the case.

 

You awed at him, he was really tall. 

“You’re… so tall.” 

 

“Is that so?” 

You hadn’t realized you had said it out loud, and now you stupid. He threw an arm around you and cackled, his laughter making you feel dumber and embarrassed. Your cheeks were warm, yet you tried your best not to do anything, except for standing completely still.

He had to realize that you weren’t 100% comfortable with him holding you, but no, he wasn’t aware. Burying your face into your hands, you tried your best to hide yourself. If you couldn’t see him, he most definitely couldn’t see you, was what you tried to convince yourself.

“Sorry,” you said, feeling the warmth in your cheeks subside, “I uhm… Just request at what time you want food and if you have any allergies or preferences and I’ll try my best to cook whatever that is…” He gently removed his hand and grinned at you, “Of course, and could ya also cook something for Roadie, he really enjoys the way you make veggies, and I think they are quite edible as well.” You nodded, and wandered off, giving him a silent wave. As soon as you turned the corner, you yet again held your face.

“Holy fuck, I was not fucking expecting that. That sure was a mystery that I didn’t think needed to be solved, but damn if it just didn’t get solved right away.”

Talking to yourself? Why yes you were, and if you don’t mind saying so, you were a great conversational partner.

 

When you returned to your room, you’d started replacing your items in the drawers and cabinets. Your sheets were clean and smelled of lemon. Looking at your device you still saw no requests, just a message from Hana.

“I’ve been sleeping until now, I heard what happened, do you want me to come to your room?”

You didn’t feel like being in anyone’s company at the moment, you didn’t feel like responding to anyone, you just wanted to wallow in self-pity and guilt, isolated in your very own room.

Taking off your shoes, you headed for your bed, you knew you’d probably lay there the rest of the day, and had to seriously consider if you’d actually do that. Sighing, you felt defeated, you had so much to do. You should ask Hana to come over, maybe she could push you into doing the things you didn’t want to do.

“Yes” a simple yet direct message, stating your very intent.  
“Athena?” You voiced, “Could you open my door for Hana when she shows up? I’d appreciate it.” Taking a step towards your bed, you could already feel the softness, you were ready to nap for hours, for days or months. “Affirmative.” You smiled, touching the soft duvet, “Please wake me up as well when she arrives, wouldn’t want to be asleep when she shows up” “Affirmative.” “Thanks Athena.” And with that you pulled the sheets over you, even if you were still fully dressed and closed your eyes, lying there in silence.

 

You were awoken by an alarm, you assumed Athena was waking you up, but no, it was your phone. Staring at it you wondered why the alarm came from your phone. 

“Time to change your staff!” it said.

Looking through your calendar you realized that it was a really old alarm. It must’ve been set two years back and you looked at a scar in your left arm. When you’re in the army, periods were literal hell and it was difficult to remember bringing with you your pills when you were in the field. Which led to you, choosing the fool proof staff, which you only needed to change once every 1-2 years. It made having your period easier, it barely existed.

Not unlike many other women, you didn’t just get it to prevent accidental child births, but for the benefit of not having a rough period (which you used to have), but it also helped with your teen acne, which hadn’t left you in your early twenties. You’d have to ask Angela to change it, but you didn’t really need it now?

You weren’t really in the field, so there was no reason for you to actually have a new one. Deciding to find some information about what the bi-effects there were for removing any birth controls for good, you heard a gentle alarm. This time it came from Athena, and you responded, “I’m awake Athena, thanks.”

The door opened and in came Hana, dressed in her usual suit. She looked somewhat worried, but you jumped over to the side, pulled down your sheet and gestured for her to jump in there with you. To which she of course obliged.  
“Sorry I didn’t show up until now,” you looked at the time, it had been three hours since you’d responded to her message, “’s okay, I was just having a nap.”

“What’s that?” she gestured to the calendar on your phone that contained the alarm, “This?” you asked, even if you knew that it was what she had meant, “Just a reminder that I need to remove my staff, and while we’re talking about that, Angela wants me to start taking meds, but I’m unsure…” 

She brushed some of your stray hair away while looking at you, “I mean, I want to get better, but I feel like I’m cheating if I don’t do it completely on my own. I want to get better and not because of a pill.” She looked at you, a little strictly, it looked like she was carefully thinking about what to say next. “Look, it’s not cheating. Taking medications to get better is normal, if you’re physically hurt you would pop a painkiller correct?” You nodded, “Then why not take medication to when you’re, well, mentally hurt?” It did make sort of make sense, was it because of the social stigma around how physical pain was worse than mental? Were you really that affected by it? So affected that you’d rather deny yourself treatment, because it wasn’t “as bad” as something visible?

“If you’re worried about the effects it’ll have on you, I’ll make sure we do proper research and question Mercy until you feel safe. We’re not going to go through with anything that makes you feel unsafe.” Somehow, it made you feel better, and you placed an arm around Hana pulling her close, “Thank you, I… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

 

Staying in bed with Hana was relaxing and fun, and you wanted to stay there forever. But alas, duty called, and you moved out of bed, stretching and heard a quite satisfying crack coming from your lower back. You started lacing your boots while Hana was playing some game on her phone. “I need to work; you want to stay here or join me?” She too groaned and got out of bed, guess she would be joining you.

It was around 18, you’d relaxed for quite a while. Looking at your device you saw a couple requests, some wanted to get their laundry washed, some get their room cleaned and vacuumed and there it was, Junkrat’s request. It quite literally said “Me: meat, Road: no meat”, guess you have to figure out what the hell you need to cook yourself then. There wasn’t even a preferred time set, but it had been sent in 10 minutes ago, so you allowed yourself to take some time.

 

You were standing outside the kitchen. C’mon, you’d managed to do this days ago, and you’d entered this room over a hundred times. It won’t have changed from last time; it’ll be exactly the same.  
“Look, you don’t need to do anything, we can… We can just stay outside if you’d like?” That’s really what you wanted to do, it really was, but you needed to push yourself, you needed to enter this room.

Scanning your key card, you heard a ‘bip’ and the door opened, painfully slow.  
Looking inside, you saw one of the omnic chefs, “Chad” was what he called himself. He’d told you that it wasn’t his “production name”, but a name he had chosen for himself, and he was damn proud of it. “Hey Chad, I just… Is that dinner?” you looked at the pots and pans, it looked as though he was cooking a stew of some kind.

“Yes.” He replied. Breakfast was served at 09, lunch at 13 and dinner at 19. Three meals a day, not exactly enough for superheroes, but it was enough for you. “Are you finally crawling out of your shell to re-enter the kitchen?” He was cooking clam chowder wasn’t he? “Was that a fucking pun.” He laughed heartily, this proved how they weren’t just ‘programmed robots’ but something more.

Humour was very much human, and Chad was definitely humorous. “What kinds of meat do we have?” you asked, from the door frame, clutching Hana’s hand. You were holding her hand pretty tight, but you didn’t really notice. “Come in and sea for your shell.” You walked straight into that one didn’t you?

Taking a step inside, you felt a bit nauseous and proud. You really didn’t want to be in here, but you sure as hell managed to get inside. “There we go, we mostly got fish meats, but I think we have some beef?”  
“Do we have crabs, shrimps, scampi, lobster-” He looked at you, “We got a lot of shellfish. I think we have some king prawn as well.” 

You looked into a cook book, Paella, that was what Junkrat would be getting. Moving on to Roadhog, you looked through several vegan recipes, trying to determine what would actually be filling. Paper books had gone out of fashion, but you still preferred having it in paper form. You loved vintage things, and what was more vintage than a cookbook from 2010s? 

You found a recipe with roasted vegetables with garlic dressing and toasted pepitas, also known as pumpkin seeds, you would also be siding it with some lentils and a vegan grill mac and cheese. 

The prepping of everything took some time, but when you were done cutting the necessary veggies and finished cooking the rice and macaroni’s, you could actually begin with the most fun things. Chad was serving dinner, and you’d sent Hana out of the kitchen, not realizing you’d be completely alone, engulfed in your cooking. 

Nothing bad had happened so far, and Chad was supervising you, tossing around the paella at times, reminding you of the roasted veggies so they’d not burn and stirred the pot containing the mac and cheese. Honestly, without him, you wouldn’t have been able to craft this amazing meal. 

 

You finished at half past seven, half an hour later than when the official dinner had begun, but you just had to make sure it looked as good as it tasted. Bringing out the steaming dishes you found the pair sitting patiently waiting, or well, as patiently as they probably could. Junkrat was talking to Hana, quite loudly at that. You placed the food in front of them, and took a step back to examine the look on their faces.

“Holy shit. Is this what you were working so hard on?” 

Hana asked, staring at the food in front of her teammate. She was definitely beyond jealous, it was mouth-watering, it was a masterpiece, it was steaming and smelled heavenly.  
She felt her very own mouth salivating at the sight, you had spent quite some time cooking away, and this was the end result. 

“I’m almost speechless Sheila.” 

You looked away, a little smile twisting your lips upwards, making your face shine a bit brighter. “Uhm… Enjoy I guess?”   
“We will, thank you.” Getting a word out of Roadhog was an incredible feeling, he never talked, and a compliment at that! You had to get some water, compliments were your weakness.

 

You avoided walking too close to the table were McCree was seated, you couldn’t face him, the guilt chewing away at you. Casting a glance towards him, he wasn’t even looking at you, just at his metal arm that clenched and unclenched. He didn’t look happy, but what did you know, his hat was covering half his face from your angle. You needed to apologise.

He looked up, meeting your gaze, but quickly looked back down. Your heart twisted painfully, he looked like a broken man. So tired, you didn’t think he had gotten any sleep either. You needed to fix it, you had let your own emotional distress cause harm to someone that definitely didn’t deserve it. 

What wrong had he done? He had just flirted with you, and you had practically called him unlovable, what was wrong with you? He had just wanted to help you, brighten your day, make you smile and maybe embarrass you a little bit every now and then.

You had to make it right, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be near him.   
Tired of this inner fight you were having yourself, a half was screaming at yourself to go over and apologise, while the other screamed that you’d just hurt him more by doing so.

You lowered your gaze, your lower lip quivering. You were such a fuck up; he’d never forgive you. He’d never talk to you the same way he had before, not give you the same hearty laugh and shit eating grin. He wouldn’t help you in your frustrations.

He wouldn’t be there for you with a genuine smile. He would never want to talk to you ever again, know the real you, not this, façade you were keeping up. 

You used to be such a happy person, a person that flirted around, just like him.

 

But now, you, you weren’t like that anymore. It was just something you had to accept. 

 

Just like you’d have to accept the fact that he would N E V E R forgive you.

 

 

 

Regardless. 

 

You needed to apologise to him, and you needed to apologise to the Shimada brothers.

 

Forcing yourself to apologise, it was necessary or you’d be on a road of destruction and you would drag anyone down with you, and you knew that would most likely be Hana.   
You would, could, never do that to her, you just had to fight, fight to apologise.

 

You left Hana your flannel shirt that you’d been using for a jacket, you would rather not have it ripped to pieces in case he decided to get violent.

 

You left the mess hall, and waited outside patiently. You let your thoughts still, not a single one would interrupt you on this mission. 

It had taken about an hour before he had finally left mess hall. 

He had not noticed you, walked straight past you, and you followed suit. He’d have to turn around soon, right?

He was moving downstairs to Level D, was he going to his room?

You lost him when you’d opened the door to the stairs.

Damn, either you were losing your grip, or he knew what you were doing.

 

You decided to return to your room. All you could think of was the bottle underneath your bed. It was talking to you, begging you to take a sip, but you couldn’t move.

You couldn’t cry, you’d only lost him because of the stairs.  
And even if he didn’t want to be found he would be.   
It was time to step up your game.

“Athena, give me the location of McCree.” It was so convenient having an AI, especially one as clever as her. “Access denied.” You were denied access? “Athena, give me the location of Hana.” You needed to test this out, “Level D, room 18.” She was in her own room, but what worried you more was that he’d blocked you.  
Two could play this game. “Athena, block access of my location to everyone that you I have permission to” “Blocking.”  
You didn’t even know it was a feature, not until now anyways. 

 

Fulfilling each request that very night before 21 had proven to be quite impossible, but you’d managed to finish around midnight. You’d decided against changing into proper work attire, what was the point anyways, you just had a couple hours work right?

God, you were really craving that bottle, and no knitting would help. You couldn’t stop thinking about it, you’d feel such a relief if you just had one sip. You’d feel better, you wouldn’t feel guilty anymore right? Right?

You wanted the bottle, you really did. Holding it in your hand, it felt so right, like it was the perfect place for it to be. You unscrewed the cap, you needed to drench your thirst. You tilted it upwards, trying to catch the gentle stream of the clear liquid with your mouth. It, it wasn’t alcohol. It was room temperature water. Someone had replaced your very expensive alcohol with water.

You wanted to toss the bottle against the wall, you had needed this drink!   
Someone had gone to your room, snooped around, and royally pranked your ass. You screamed out in frustration and dropped the bottle in the trash can.

You needed some rest, a lot of rest.

You undressed yourself, washed your makeup and brushed your teeth. 

 

You went to bed.

 

You closed your eyes.

 

You took a deep breath.

 

You felt your living beating heart.

 

You knew you wouldn’t sleep tonight.

 

Not without any sort of night terror to say the least. 

 

You knew it was coming.

 

You knew what.

 

You knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boi, I should make an angst free chapter for once shouldn't I ?? Trust me I'll give you that very, very soon ;)))  
> I've started writing the new chapter, but don't know if I'll be able to finish it tomorrow, if I don't I'll probably write a 10.000 word chapter for Friday.
> 
> Hope you guys liked this chapter, if you want to contact me or want something to give you notifications whenever the chapters update here's my tumblr and twitter:
> 
> https://twitter.com/NopersDopers  
> http://nopersdopers.tumblr.com


	12. Getting better

“Hey, it’s time to wake up. You need to take your medication.”

You really didn’t feel like opening your eyes, and forced them shut, pulling on your covers, hiding yourself underneath them.  
You felt like sleeping some more, maybe forever.  
“You know that you have to wake up some time, right?”   
You knew, you just, didn’t want to. Or, you did want to, but you had no energy.

“I know, I just… I have no energy.”  
“Do you want me to get Mercy, she’ll prescribe you something other than Zoloft, though I really thought it’d work? You seemed a bit better a couple days ago? You even said so, right?”

You didn’t want to argue with Hana, she’d been nothing other than the ultimate friend. She would wake you up almost every day to be sure you took your meds that Mercy had prescribed you. You’d stopped going to your therapist, she’d commented on your looks. Something about how you had looked tired, and you’d gotten very angry. She knew what state you were in, yet couldn’t shut her goddamn mouth? Too unprofessional for you. You’d talked to Mercy about getting a new one.

“No, I just, sorry…” You took the pill and the water and downed it. Even if you’d never had a problem swallowing medications before, this one was a bit bigger, and your mouth felt a lot drier after taking them. You could get something to coat them for them to easily slide down your throat, but decided against it. If you were taking medication, you’d take it “right”.

You pulled her into the bed with you, and started tickling her.  
“No, hahah! Stop! Please!” You were smiling a bit, she was too good a friend, she didn’t deserve someone like you to drag her down, but you were going to make sure she felt appreciated no matter what. You stopped when she told you she would piss herself, “You know, I’m extremely grateful for having you as a friend.” She perked up and looked at you, “You help me to take my pill every day, and just, thank you for being so great, you know?”

“Of course, that’s the least I could do! You cook for me almost every day, even though I know you’re uncomfortable entering the kitchen…” it was true, ever since you’d started cooking for Junkrat and Roadhog, she’d told you how delicious it had looked, and you started preparing her special food as well. The other members would look jealously at the amazing food you brought in every day, only getting a whiff of the magnificence that was your cooking.

“I really don’t feel like leaving the bed.” You said, leaving the bed, roaming through your drawers for fresh underwear and an Overwatch singlet. “Yet you still manage to every day, and I’m proud of you.” You knew she was smiling, you could feel her happiness when she spoke to you.

You could not for the love of you find a singlet, and today was not a t-shirt kind of day. Pushing neatly folded clothes around in your drawer, making a huge mess, you got annoyed. “Hana, did I remember to do laundry yesterday?” you asked, still trying to find something that resembled a singlet. “Did you forget to put on a reminder?” You did forget, and you let out a frustrated sigh. “Yeah, I did… I don’t feel like wearing a t-shirt today though, can you-?” 

As soon as you’d offered her free range of dressing you up for work, you’d already known that you’d done fucked up. She had easily found something that, well, resembled a singlet. It looked like a singlet. For a kid.

It was a crop top, with the Overwatch logo. “I don’t like showing my stomach.” You tried to argue, not that you had a bad looking stomach. Even if you didn’t necessarily enjoy the scars you’d gotten from previous panic attacks, there were no scabs visible. The medicine had really helped you with that part. You just didn’t want to show your stomach.

“You’d look very cute in it, and I can get some nice pictures for you!” She knew your weakness, even if you didn’t particularly like to take pictures, you really enjoyed it when she took pictures of you, the normality of it, that’s what you used to do with an old friend of you. You wondered what had happened to her, but brushed it off, putting on the top.

“Are you sure this is within regulations? I would not enjoy getting lectured… again…” Even if Ana had meant her best, as she tried to mother you, you hadn’t particularly enjoyed it when she threw her coat to cover your heart holed boob top and shorty shorts. You hadn’t even planned on going outside, you were just going to show off your new things to Hana.

It wasn’t too hot outside, but hot enough to be able to wear a crop top without getting too cold. Although you wouldn’t be going outside in your uniform. When you went outside, you were a civilian, not a member of Overwatch, not even an ex-soldier, just a completely normal civilian. As weird as that felt at times, you loved it, because suddenly you weren’t you, you were just another person walking around trying to make it to the very next day. Part of the public.

“Yes, I am sure. Put it on now!” You squatted a bit, and she held the top above your head as you reached out your arms to put it on. It felt a bit tight, so you went to look in the mirror, and sure enough, it was smashing your boobs and creating rolls that hadn’t been there before. “It’s too tiny.” You said, “Nonsense, you’ve just never worn it before, it’ll just need some time to adjust, right?”

“Fine I’ll give it 15 minutes; I need to shine my boots.” You took out some black shoe cream and a brush. You were doing your best not to spill any shoe cream on the ground, but the stains on your boots were being difficult today. Wait, were you really going to wear a crop top? Almost massaging the cream onto your right boot, you looked towards Hana. Her brown eyes glistened, shining with joy. She wanted you to wear the crop top, that’s what would make her day, and damn it if you weren’t going to give her just that!

“But Hana, I don’t really know how to do my make up to match this top,” This made her look less happy, but you were going to turn that frown upside down, “Could you help me choose?” Oh you just made her freaking day, she practically ran towards your make up. Yes, you’d bought a lot more make-up, filling three hole shelves with brushes etc. After you’d quit drinking, you’d gotten a new addiction, buying make-up.  
They knew you by name at the Sephora in town, 76 had let you leave if you brought someone to “escort” you, although it felt more like the appropriate word for it would be “babysitting”. 

Your go-to shopping escorts? Hana, of course, and Lucio. He was extremely knowledgeable on the subject even, he knew exactly what foundation would suit you, what highlight that would make your skin pop and how to easily create a smoky wing. It might’ve been a personal interest, but he’d told you he was thinking about creating highlighter under his brand name. You were excited, because if he did release anything, you’d wear it every day. His cereal was delicious, and even though Efi didn’t always feel like sharing it with you, you still consumed it almost every day for breakfast.

“I have just the thing!” She brought out some deep orange eye shadow, and a little tinted gloss for your lips. “So wing, no wing?” you asked, still entranced with your right boot, it just wouldn’t shine, and it was just not going to do what you asked it. “Hm, well you have to leave to cook my breakfast soon, so no?” You felt yourself give up on your boot, but just suddenly it slowly started shining. Thank god that you were at least a somewhat patient person, or this wouldn’t have happened today.

“Don’t you normally shine them before you sleep?” She asked, picking up your right boot to examine it, as you moved on to the left. “Well, yes, but I don’t feel like I did it quite wholeheartedly.” You were making a sarcastic comment, and she poked her tongue out at you. 

The left boot didn’t take quite as long to finish as your right, and you examined it. You’d switched to newer shoelaces a couple weeks back, and even though they were used every single day since you’d first started working with Overwatch, they still shined almost as brightly as they did back then. You took very good care of them, better than yourself.

Hana was playing a game on her phone, and you laced up your boots and decided to watch her play. You weren’t sure what she was playing, mostly because you didn’t spend a lot of time with youngsters, well except for Hana. As most of your old friends had started college, you’d gone straight from high school into the Military, to work with your brother.

You knew that you’d been invited to several weddings, even a couple of baby showers, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to talk to them. It’s not like you didn’t want to, you just didn’t want to face the facts that you weren’t a teen anymore, but a young adult. Something about that scared the shit out of you, because you didn’t feel yourself aging and changing. 

As you put the make-up on, you stared at parts of your face. Old scars, most from battle wounds, some because you didn’t want to stop picking at some acne. Your face had definitely gotten a bit more defined, it looked a bit slimmer. When you smiled you’d get a bit more smiley wrinkles, but it didn’t bother you too much. You looked older, yet far from old. The bags beneath your eyes had become less apparent, you were finally sleeping at night and you weren’t drinking. You looked fresher. You looked better.

“You look a lot better, you know?” You looked towards Hana, that had been staring at you while you were staring at yourself in the mirror. “You don’t look as tired as you used to, and even though you don’t smile often, you still smile a lot more than before. I like it when you smile.” She was too sweet! You smiled at her and starting putting on some of the makeup she’d brought out for you to wear.

You liked the smiley wrinkles.

 

While cooking, just some oatmeal with soy milk and different fruits, you hadn’t really noticed that you hadn’t taken off the crop top, so when you poured in the soy milk in and the cold milk splashed against your exposed stomach, you yelped and cursed your clumsiness. Looking for a towel to try yourself off, you noticed that you were indeed completely alone in the kitchen.

You’d managed to go in there by yourself, without holding Hana’s hand or protest because you feared the room. You still didn’t feel 100% comfortable, but you were improving by quite a lot. It was proof that the Zoloft, or well, sertraline was working it’s magic. You usually got all the bi effects of new medicines you were trying out, but the only thing you’d noticed was getting a bit more nauseous whenever you worked too hard. Another bi effect would also be reduced libido, but as you really didn’t have a partner, it didn’t bother you at all.

Finishing the oatmeal, you poured some into the different bowls and places some fresh strawberries on top. Satisfied with the aesthetics of the bowl, you started moving out in order to serve the food. It was easier said than done considering the door wouldn’t budge.   
Shit, you thought, while starting to imagine every kind of scenarios in which you could die because of this.

You took a deep breath, no need to panic, you had the key card, and your very loveable Athena. “Athena, could you open the door for me? I can’t seem to manage on my own.” The door opened and you smiled, you had managed that so well you couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride being able to not panic.

Placing the food in front of you favourite diners, you looked at them expectantly, you really wanted to know their opinion on the food. They all took a bite, and you were showered with compliments. You loved hearing their reviews, little details that they’d noticed, like the fresh strawberries, etc. Even if you knew both Roadhog and Junkrat would have been fine eating literal garbage, you couldn’t help feeling quite content when they critiqued your food.

You returned to the kitchen to grab a bowl yourself, little did you know, that someone had gotten inside and taken a portion. You stared blankly at Tracer, a little shocked yet not entirely surprised, she had apparently zipped in before the door had closed. 

“Well, well, well… If it isn’t our dearest Goldilocks.” She jumped and turned, looking very guilty for having taken a portion of the food. She swallowed hard, and you could tell she was nervous, her usual happy smile gone and replaced with a look of worry.   
“You know you could have just asked for some instead of sneaking in here, I would gladly serve some to you as well.”

She looked extremely relieved, and with a hand to her chest she sighed. You started laughing heartily, she had sneaked into the kitchen, just for a bowl of oatmeal, it was hilarious. In-between your laughter you managed to tell her you’d hand her a bowl if she took a seat outside. You couldn’t stop laughing, and it seemed to make her laugh as well.   
You sent Tracer out the kitchen with some food, and noticed that there was indeed a little bit left for you.

After placing a bit in a bowl, filling it to the brim with different fruits and berries, you grabbed a spoon, and headed for the table where your new best friend was seated. Plopping down next to her, she gave you a look, and pointed to where Tracer was sitting, really enjoying your cooking, as she started talking to people energetically about ‘how amazing it tasted’ and how ‘it was the best thing I’ve ever tasted’. 

Humming, you took a spoonful yourself. The sticky substance was still warm, and the fresh cool berries gave off a sort of wave of flavour. The differences complimented each other quite well, and the sweetness the soy milk had added to the oatmeal was noticeable and lifted your basic oatmeal to another level. You’d added some dates and other dried fruits, to fuel the sweetness, and the chewy bits did just that.

Because you were cooking every day, you’d improved, quite rapidly, and you tried out new recipes all the time, sometimes giving classics a twist, like this very oatmeal. You used every ingredient that you could come over, of course not taking away the most important ones that would be needed for the obligatory meals. Your shopping list had gotten longer, more expensive and getting every spice and herb was proving to be difficult, mostly because you wanted the herbs as fresh as possible.

 

You looked at your phone, there was an assignment. “Pick up new screen” it said, and you wondered for a second, sort of confused as to why you had such an assignment before you remembered that you needed to pick up the new screen for the common living room. 

You’d ignored 76 and painted one wall a different colour than white, though it was a deep blue. You’d already gotten a new carpet in, a huge grey couch, two cosy chairs and a coffee table. The most difficult thing was putting together the bookshelves, you’d been worried about messing it up leaving it crooked, but after half an hour and having done the exact measurements at least 20 times, you’d started hanging them up.

The process of finishing the room had been somewhat slow, but you’d managed to get it almost exactly how you wanted it. Except for the screen, finding the correct one had been a long process and you’d ended up taking a week deciding. Hana had given you lots of inputs, saying how big it needed to be and showed you several models that looked neat. You decided that you weren’t going to be the one to decide, and had asked Winston to find a screen for you, he was the genius here, not you, he knew exactly which screen to get.

 

“Hana, the screen is coming today.” You voiced, still entranced with your phone. She’d finished her food, but still had the spoon in her mouth, sucking away at the remains of the finished meal. She perked up, and looked to you, giving off an ‘oh?’ sound. You nodded, and showed your calendar, she looked at the assignment and took the spoon out of her mouth placing it in the empty bowl, diagonally. “Do you want me to join you to pick it up?” she asked, but you shook your head, showing her another assignment. This one read, “Meeting: Hana” meaning, as simple as that, had a meeting.

“Oh…” She looked disappointed, a look you hadn’t really gotten used to yet, “Before I go to the meeting, you need to remember to wash your clothes okay? Put it in there so I can see that you’ll actually do it.” Right you were still wearing a crop top weren’t you?  
Typing in the alarm, you consciously tried covering your stomach area, you’d been bare-stomached for quite some time.

 

Cleaning the bowls, cutlery, glasses and cups off the table, you returned to the kitchen. As you came out with a wet cloth for the table, Hana was waiting patiently. She had to leave for the meeting and you said your goodbyes, and started washing the table.  
There wasn’t really a lot to clean, so you finished fairly quickly.  
You even managed to get your lovely Roomba to vacuum the floor! You swore, it was better than anything in the world, well, at least top ten best things in the world. 

 

The base felt empty again, though you knew it not to be true, most of the people were just held up in a meeting. This meant you were allowed to clean alone, without any distractions!   
Because you’d been “clean” for over three weeks, almost four, Hana had gotten you a little gift, some simple earbuds so you could listen to music while working.  
You were going to do just that.

What better music to listen to than classic pop? 2000s pop music was definitely some of your favourite old music, so Cascada it was. It made you happy, even if it was old, you finally started to feel like you could appreciate the little things. The Zoloft was working it’s magic, it’d been a little over a week and you already felt better. You smiled, dancing along to the music, swaying your hips gently, singing along to the music, tears streaming down your face.

The “I don’t give a fuck” pill had worked it magic, you don’t know why you’d been so reluctant to start taking it, because it was making you rapidly feel better. You hadn’t felt like this for a long time, you felt different.

Mercy, she was truly an angel like her name first name suggested. You’d wanted to be a nurse when you were younger, and even though you technically had a quite similar education, thanks to sanitary training, you didn’t have the official title or anything. You’d assisted several times when field doctors needed help, you were like their go-to person. If you had left after the first year, you would either have studied to become a nurse or finances, you’d been pretty interested in both. 

However, your skills had been noticed by the higher ups, and your background was ideal, which led to you becoming a commander. Which led to you getting sent on somewhat secret missions.  
You should go and thank Angela, praised be her name. Stopping the singing and decreasing the dance moves to just hip swaying, you put in a reminder to thank Angela and get a new therapist, one that would be happy with your improvement.  
Maybe even as happy as you were.

 

You’d done almost everything you needed to do today, there was only the screen for the common living room that you needed to pick up and install. Over half the day had gone by, and there was still no sight of anyone, such a long meeting? There must’ve been something important that they needed to discuss, which meant they’d be tired. If they were tired, they’d definitely be cranky. If they were cranky, well, that would not be good for anyone.

Taking the stairs to where you’d be able to pick up the screen, you huffed harshly, you hated stairs, it reminded you that you weren’t as in shape as you thought. Reaching the correct floor, you took a deep breath, your cheek as red as ever, you could blame it on the medication, or the fact that you ran up the stairs, but you really did need to start morning runs again. 

You walked towards the floors storage room, where the screen would be. You unlocked the room with your key card and the door opened. There it was! The missing puzzle piece that’d completely finish the rooms look. It was a bit heavy, but you were strong, and even if you struggled to pick it up, carrying it was certainly easier.

Heading towards the elevator slowly, you were cautious and careful, if the screen broke you’d have to wait at least another week for it to finish. Even if you were somewhat patient, you’d definitely not want to wait anymore.

 

A familiar tone started ringing, someone was calling you? You looked at the screen, your brother? You’d just finished installing the screen and were about to nap on the couch while you listened to some music, but instead this had happened.  
“Yes?” you asked, “I have… Royally fucked up.”   
He didn’t sound sad, just frustrated, you sat upright. 

“What’s going on?” you asked, a bit nervous, clenching your fist. If he called you, it was always very serious, and if this was his opening line, you weren’t sure what’d happen.  
“Remember the hacker I’ve been after? Well, they’ve managed to get into our systems, and have managed to gather information on, well… you know.” Incorrect, you didn’t know, you had literally no idea.

“On what?” You asked, darkly, “They got every file on me, thus everything on you. They… got whatever information that had been exchanged digitally about both our missions.” This was, not good at all, with that information they could… Let’s just say it was not good.  
“Fuck, what do you want me to do?” you asked, “I… I’m just starting to get a bit better you know? I don’t think I can handle any more battles.” 

“Lil sis, if you’re with… you know, I don’t think you need to worry about yourself, is there, any way that… you could tell your superiors about it?” This meant you’d have to blow your cover, this meant that you could get killed, this was really stressing you out, but at the same time you knew exactly what to do. “You keep yourself safe, you hear me? Don’t you dare get killed, I’ll see what I can do, if it doesn’t go as planned, I want to know your location, okay?”

“Yes, I, I’m so sorry, it was a mistake-”” Don’t you dare to blame yourself. Not for one second, I’ll keep in contact. I love you bro, you just worry about keeping yourself alive?” “You as well, I love you too lil sis, talk to you soon.” You ended the call. You needed to prepare yourself.

 

The meeting had apparently ended, you were glad you didn’t see Hana, and especially glad for not bumping into the people that you hadn’t apologised to yet. Too determined to finish this, you practically jogged to your room. How do you prepare for an interrogation even?

Entering your room, you started changing and clearing out your room, packing your things into the two duffel bag, and you definitely remembered to pack your sertraline. You shaved, cut your nails, washed off your makeup, brushed your teeth, changed into sports underwear and a t-shirt. Tying a double knot on your boots was necessary, and you put your hair into a very tight bun with the help of a swamp “donut”. Couldn’t have any loose hair that could get grabbed.

Under you bed was a black box.  
In that black box contained a code.   
The code was to open the room with the different weapons.  
You’d found out the digits by accident, but taken a note of it, never knew when you’d need weapons, you know?

Then you rummaged through your closet, finding small knives that you could tape to your body and put in your pockets. You’d definitively need the black gloves with some added padding for this, if you needed to throw a punch it wouldn’t hurt your hands as badly.

 

You found some paper and started writing, but you couldn’t find the words, it turned into a simple, 

“Sorry”

You were sorry, but you’d do anything, anything to save what little family you had. If you had to endure some torture to do so, you’d gladly do it. No one was going to take away the people you loved.

Letting the duffel bags stay by your bed, you left your room, only to walk smack into Hana that was about to knock on your door. A deep breath, don’t start crying now, don’t hiccup.  
You needed to let her know the truth.

“Hana, I, I have to tell them. It’s my brother, there’s something I need to tell them, I… He’s not safe.” She looked at you confused, yet with an apparent worry, “What? Calm down, take a couple deep breaths, what is this about your brother?”

“I have to tell them what my brother is doing, about my previous work, my missions. Everything Hana. It might lead to my death but-”” Don’t you dare.” She looked angry.

“My brother needs my help Hana, he can die, I need him to be safe. I have to tell them.”   
You didn’t want to, but what other options were there?  
She looked angry, her cheeks puffing and tinting, tears threatening to fall. She was an angry crier. 

“Tell me. Tell me everything, I’ll help you.” And risk getting thrown out of Overwatch? You wouldn’t let her do that.

“I will… keep it as subtle as possible, but, if I tell you, you’d be too involved. It’s better that you don’t know. Look, you’re the very best friend I’ve ever had. I love you lots, I have to do this.”

 

She stood there, her angry tears streaming down her cheeks, hitting the floor. The little makeup she wore was taking a toll on the tears, and her mascara started to run a bit.

 

You stood there, you wanted to cry as well, not because of what you had to do, but because you didn’t want to hurt your friend. She was too precious to you, your dearest. 

 

Hug, that was what you both needed. “I wish I didn’t have to do this, but I’d do the same thing for you.” You hugged her tight, her head smashed into your chest as she snaked her hands around your waist. 

 

It took a couple minutes for the two of you to calm down, yet you gave her a smile when she released you from her tight grip. 

 

“Don’t tell them things that’ll get you… Just tell them as little as possible, and keep safe, alright?”

You smiled at her, and kissed her forehead, bringing her in for another hug. 

 

“Worse things have happened to me, this is just a minor bump, I’ve been interrogated before.”

 

You knew you shouldn’t drink, but you really needed a swig of something right about now.

 

You’d walked straight to 76s office. You’d rather have him punch your face in than Winston.   
You didn’t knock, you opened the door with your key card and entered.   
Sure enough, he was sitting on his chair behind the metal table.  
He looked up, obviously not expecting you, and closed some of the files and projections.

You walked forward, but didn’t take a seat, leaning forward on the table, trying to stare down the intimidating man. When you wanted to, you could be quite intimidating yourself.  
A natural at domination, a woman full of power, someone you should fear.   
The personal aura you gave off, used to be quiet, timid, but this new personality was, exciting.

“Look, I’ll get straight to it,” Your serious tone, the low voice, it drove most people mad. “I need some help.”  
Choosing your words carefully, you needed to let on as little as possible, most of your conversation needed to be based on body language. Playing, somewhat toying with the man in front of you is what you needed to do.

Sitting down on the metal table, you were inches away. If he wanted to gain the control of the room, he would seriously need to join your game soon.  
“My brother, the so called “third party”, is in trouble. The Hacker has gained some digital files on the two of us, meaning they’ll know of his location.” 

“Any information about Overwatch?” He asked, and you shook your head, rubbing your exposed neck, you rose and seated yourself in the chair. 

“Maybe you should get him to base to explain the situation, after all he knows more about this than me.” You crossed your legs and feigned innocence. You didn’t know anything about the Hacker, other than what your brother had told you.

He grunted, “Before I invite this, “third party” to base, how do I know it’s not a set-up, not a trap.” Testing you was he? He was good at playing your game. 

“Well for starters, have I ever done anything to let you question my loyalty?” Well except for the Reaper deal, but he didn’t know.  
Eyeing you, examining your relaxed yet serious body, you knew he was not only looking at your face. 

You gave off a sly smile, you were somehow getting to him, even when you looked like shit.  
“And secondly, isn’t there some kind of safety provided for the people related to the members of Overwatch, I believe there is.” You knew there was, although it was only if it was Overwatch related, which it kind of wasn’t, but damn if you weren’t going to try and milk it.

“That would only be deemed necessary if he was put in danger because of your association to Overwatch. Unless you’ve let the world know you’re a member of Overwatch, which you aren’t permitted to do, then we don’t need to provide nothing for him.” He sounded irritated, as if that was the best you could do. It wasn’t.

“Look you know who this Hacker is right? Overwatch knows of this Hacker, and I bet that you’re willing to do anything to get information on them?” You sure had started something, and you were feeling real clever, “Two words; Live bait.”

This certainly caught his attention, and you could tell he was interested in knowing what you had to say next. “I say we use my brother as live bait, to lure this Hacker out, right? If they go through the effort of risking everything just to get a couple papers on his family, they are definitely interested in getting to him. That’s what I call an opportunity, and opportunities like these, don’t arise often.”

Taking a deep breath, you continued, now standing and walking back and forth, “Someone will come for him, and that person may just be our dear Hacker. Now, what do you think?”  
You’d won. He looked in thought, he knew he had been beat.  
“I will have to discuss it with Winston, but, I know for a fact that he’ll definitely send someone if I tell him what you just told me.”

You smiled, and you had to keep yourself from jumping over the table to kiss him, your worries seemed to wash away. “Thank you… Morrison.”  
Opening the door, you walked away, but heard something along the lines of   
“Well played.”

Your brother was safe, now you needed to make sure Hana knew you were fine. Fishing out your phone, you dialled your brothers number.

“Lil sis?” he asked, “They’re coming for you. I fixed it, just stay safe for the next couple of hours, okay?” You replied.

“I can’t thank you enough, you’re a life saver!”

“I love you bro, be safe”

You hung up, and started looking for Hana, she needed to know of this.

 

 

“Got her.” Somber turned off her device and leaned against the bar counter, a glass of whatever next to her elbow. “That was far too easy, didn’t know she had such a weak spot for her brother. You certainly know how to lure them out.” She said, as Reaper materialized in front of her.

“Thought you said she was a good soldier, but this was so easy.” She shrugged, taking a sip of the alcohol, and cringed when the strong flavour hit her tongue. “She’s just sending some of her goons. Definitely old army buddies. Idiot, they’ll die before they can even try to save him, she’s so stup- “Sombra.”

She looked at the black clad in front of her, his stance gave her a feeling to ‘go on and see how it works out’. She clicked her tongue at him, “You romanticize her, if it’s nostalgia or whatever the fuck, you’re most certainly thinking too highly of her. That’ll get you in trouble.”

“Never underestimate the enemy Sombra, I thought you’d have learnt that by now.” 

He was referring to the virus your brother left for her. She’d had feuds with him before, but never one that had resulted in her getting a virus that was so difficult to remove as the one she’d gotten. It had frustrated her to no end and had taken a long time to fix, so the first thing she’d done was to find whatever information she could on him. Out of pure skill, or luck, she’d found you and your relation to her enemy, well, one of her many enemies.

She also knew that Reaper knew you, who do you think had deleted all the shots of you on the different surveillance cameras that were placed around the city? 

She was somewhat excited, maybe after she’d killed your army buddies, she could hold your brother hostage and get you to come for her yourself? 

“We need to move.” 

 

She scoffed, 

 

“Well of course, we wouldn’t want to keep “bro” waiting now would we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear, what the fuck is going on?! Hope you enjoyed this new chapter, I wanted to write at least 10.000 words, but alas, that proved to be too difficult to accomplish tonight, I'm unsure whether or not I'll be able to post a chapter tomorrow, but I'll try my very best!!
> 
> Oh BOY DO I HAVE SOMETHING FUN FOR YOU GUYs!!! You can vote on what you'd like to happen in the next couple of chapters, the three most popular ones will be written about in future chapters, here's the link:
> 
> https://goo.gl/forms/RAUbir0Mw1ZQLays2


	13. Truth or dare

“What the fuck.”

 

You were staring at the drunken mess, well more or less squinting, your puffy tired eyes almost forcing them shut. The time? 3 in the morning. Athena had told you that you were needed by the gate, in order to bring someone in. Why Athena couldn’t do it herself, was apparently ‘classified’.

 

Having a robe would be nice, you imagined while walking through the somewhat cool hallways. Only wearing a singlet and shorts was not enough during the night time, now you knew. Perfect sleepwear, not so perfect to walk through the levels to greet whoever the fuck was at the gate. You weren’t allowed to bring guests to this base, well, you weren’t allowed to bring guests at all, so it must’ve been a member of Overwatch.

Scanning your card, you heard a ‘bip bip’ and the gate hissed as it opened, which led you to looking at the two forms in front of you. God no, anything but this, you thought while pinching the bridge of your nose. In front of you were two drunk men, holding each other up. After you quit drinking the smell of alcohol nauseated you, couldn’t be near a newly opened bottle without feeling the need to go puke.

“Soo…” McCree started, somewhat slurring. You’d seen him breezy, but never drunk, it usually took too much alcohol to get him to the point where he was at the moment. You were looking at him, supporting himself on Hanzo, that was supporting himself on McCree again. 

“Are you going to let us in, darlin’?” You stepped to the side, and gestured to ‘come in’ with your hand. “What a lovely home darlin’, you’re quite the decorator.” In no mood for sarcasm, keeping quiet seemed to be what kept you sane. Leading them to the elevator, you were about to press the button to floor D, but you be darned if that wasn’t their plan. 

Slamming the emergency stop button, you almost fell to the ground, barely managing to grab the railing on the elevator. “What the FUCK!” you yelled, clearly frustrated about almost falling. “She’s being so mean again McCree.” Hanzo pried himself off of McCree and took a hold of your shoulders holding himself up.

“Why are you always so mean?” Rolling your eyes, sighing, you decided to humour them. “Because I can.” This made Hanzo grab your face and squeeze your cheeks a bit. “You’re so beautiful, and mean, and then nice, and you make me so annoyed all the time.” Two compliments and two insults, nice. 

McCree pushed off Hanzo, and you were mentally thanking him until he slammed you against the wall. “You’re killin’ me ‘ere darlin’.” He looked, a bit sad? Angry? You weren’t sure, 

“Sorry?” A safe reply, a good reply, a reply deemed necessary for the situation, you guessed.  
“’S a little too late t’ say sorry.” Yes, he was indeed referring to when you’d gone off and called them all out on their shit, you’d hurt their feelings, and instantly felt guilty.  
“I am sorry though, I shouldn’t have gone off the way I did, I was just-” 

You were now pinned to the wall, your hands raised above your head. 

“Let. Me. Go.” 

But no, you weren’t let go, but you weren’t exactly harmed either. Just stared down. Gazes roaming your body, and then your eyes, as if they were searching for something. You should have known the look you were given, but was instantly released, as if he’d composed himself, thought through his actions. Seemed to be a first, you thought bitterly, and backed away a bit.

Hanzo whispered something to McCree that caused them both to go into a fit of giggles. Were they laughing at you?   
Didn’t seem like it, considering they both almost toppled over from laughing so hard.   
This was all too much to take in, you were sleepy, and here they were, laughing away. You only wanted to go to sleep but no, you had to be stuck in an elevator with two drunken idiots.  
They were so fucking drunk, maybe you could use this to your advantage and actually get some information out of them?

 

Getting blackmail material on someone who was intoxicated was a low blow, but… They had just woken you up at 3 in the morning, so you should be allowed to humour yourself a bit.  
“How was it?” you asked, getting looks from the lot, “Was it fun out, ‘s what I mean.”  
Going for the casual approach? Nice.

“Oh, I thought you were going to do that whole “fell from heaven” line, but we obviously crawled outta hell.” McCree grinned quite smugly at you. “I mean, I don’t know about Hanzo, but I’m probably the worst person you’ll ever meet.” Shit, this was not going the way you planned. 

“I make ya uncomfortable, grab a hold of ya whenever I get the chance, and I keep myself at a distance whenever I can because I’d just hurt ya.” The self-decrepitating words, and the grin, you knew you’d hurt him, so badly. He was hurting himself, because of what you’d done.

“Look I, I was just in a horrible mood, I didn’t mean anything by it…” You said quietly, looking away. The guilt swelling in your chest. “I think you did, and that you have every right to.” Now you were looking at Hanzo, he was smiling too, the two of them wearing the exact same hurt and twisted smile.

“You were right, absolutely right. McCree’s not the worst person ever, he didn’t hurt you like I did.” Even if you agreed to the fact that he had hurt you, it wasn’t nothing you could take, he wasn’t that bad, strict yes, but he… hadn’t really done anything other than treating you as an employee? Maybe the issue was lying with you. Maybe you were the one who was irrationally angry.

“I treated you poorly, like you were a machine, and you’re not.”   
Now he looked sad, very sad, as if he was about to cry sad. “I do treat everyone around me like they don’t exist, and it’s toxic, and I-” Oh god, he was tearing up, “I really hurt you, and I can’t fix that.”

 

You were staring at him in awe, you’d honestly never seen such a sight, or had you? Sure you’d seen lots of people cry before, I mean, you’d been a superior officer in the army, meaning that you’d forced people, to and beyond their dropping point. All part of the army experience.

Yelling how weak you were, screaming with all you might to get up and move, shut up and fucking run. You’d done a lot of screaming, and you’d been screamed at a lot of times. You’d been puked on by crying soldiers, they never expected their exercise to be hard. It was a living hell for them the first couple of weeks, and you’d seen lots of soldiers cry at the psychologists that were at the base. How they wanted to go home, how they couldn’t deal with getting yelled at and the extensive difficult exercise.

You knew you didn’t have to comfort them, you should actually not do that. But you always made sure that your company, your team, were encouraged to do their very best. Sometimes you even gave them treats, just out of the very goodness of your heart. You weren’t really doing them a favour by babying them, because when they would get transferred, they’d be back to square one, no comfort, no compassion.

Even when you were on missions you’d see lots of soldiers’ cry, out of fear, out of determination or out of anger. They’d often see team mates get hurt, and worst case die, tears streaming down their face mixing with dirt. They’d let out a battle cry and charge, cower in fear behind you or fall to the ground and curse their soul out.   
It was very painful to see or hear.

 

No, this wasn’t like that, you’d have to go further back in time to see something similar to Hanzo’s look. 

In high school, the last year. 

There’d been a guy, who’d fallen for you. 

You didn’t feel the same way, you already had a girlfriend. 

He looked crestfallen, and you’d felt pain when rejecting him.

But no, his tears weren’t what reminded you, it was your girlfriends.

Last day of High School, graduation, you’d given her the news. 

That you’d not gotten into any University or College, but that you’d enter the army.

The two of you had loved each other so much, but you knew it wouldn’t work, so you broke it off. That’d been the last day you’d seen her. 

You’d given her a bittersweet goodbye kiss, as her tears streamed down, her hiccups and harsh swallowing making you tear up. 

She’d looked so happy earlier that morning, and now she looked truly heartbroken.

She was. She was heartbroken.

The look Hanzo was giving was…

Heartbreak?

 

“’Ere come the water works!” McCree laughed, patting Hanzo on his back, and you looked towards him, “He always gets like this when he’s had one too many, don’t’chu worry darlin’, it’s normal.” Hanzo swatted away McCree’s hand, and supported himself against the elevator wall.

“Should we start this elevator again?” you asked hopefully, you were honestly tired, and being in the same enclosed space with a mean laughing cowboy and crying ninja did not appeal, even if you wanted to see what info you could get.

“Nope, don’t think so darlin’, I wanna chat with ya!” Fuck, his shit eating grin, your weakness! Groaning you sat down on the cool tiled elevator floor. “Waking me up in the middle of the night, making me come get your drunk asses, and I’m just so fucking cold, fuck me…” You grumbled, shivering a bit. Soon the two messes joined you on the ground.

“So… if I’m not getting any sleep, can I ask you guys some questions?” Hoping they’d be willing to comply, you looked towards the lot, “Sure darlin’ whatever’s on yer heart.”   
You wished you’d have written a list for this, but you hadn’t which meant that you’d just have to try and make up something on the spot.

“In fact, why don’t we make it a game darlin’?” You looked at McCree, a little bit weirded out, “What kind of game?” you asked, what kind of game would two guys in their late 30s and you, a person in their mid-twenties enjoy? Your mind jumped directly to somewhat lewd games, swearing that you’d be able to keep your well, somewhat, innocence.

“Just Truth or Dare darlin’, ya know th’ game we used t’ play as kids, I’ll start!” Truth or dare, one of the most childish games that often ended up making you leaving in frustration, you hated Truth or Dare. But… You kind of wanted to play at the same time, imagine what you could make them do! “Fine, but we each get 1 Ultimate No. And if we don’t want to do the dare, we have to do the truth, vice versa.” 

They’d agreed to the rules, and Hanzo definitely looked a bit better, but at least you knew he was an emotional drunk. That’d be good information to know.   
“So darlin’… Truth or Dare.” Even if you liked taking risks at times, Truth or Dare was not one of those times, meaning you almost always picked truth. The perks of being boring you guessed.

“Who’d you fuck, me or Hanzo?” 

You don’t know what you expected, honestly you should have expected that, but you didn’t. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you were contemplating using your “No”. But alas you would probably need that one for later, you should have asked for 3 Ultimate No’s.   
“Dare.” 

God, you couldn’t use your Ultimate No now, but surely McCree would show mercy. He looked a bit taken aback, clearly surprised that you hadn’t answered or used your Ultimate No. He hadn’t taken you for a Dare person, and now you had to do it no matter what.

“Dare ya t’ tell me who you’ve fucked.”

Oh boy, this one was kind of easy, he’d been kind enough to not make you actually do anything. Even if you now had to admit something, you hadn’t admitted to anyone.

“Uhm… Okay, don’t fucking laugh, but… uhm,” This was so embarrassing, your cheeks felt like they were on fire, fuck, “But I’ve not really fucked anyone? I mean, I’ve done sexual shit, but uh,” 

Now Hanzo perked up, and he almost looked pissed, “That’s complete horse shit, you shouldn’t lie to us.” Well you could try and lie all you wanted, but in all honesty you’d only gotten to like, third base? Fourth base? Never actually gotten to the act, even if you’d sucked someone off.

“You better believe it, I’ve spent most of my 20s in the army which meant ‘no time for sex’, and in my teens I was a complete prude, so yea, still a fucking virgin.”  
It was the harsh truth, it was your dirty secret, but hey, at least it was your turn now.

“My turn, Hanzo? Truth or Dare?” He almost scowled at you, that was the Hanzo you knew, not the one from earlier that had teared up. He looked in thought, even while scowling, probably thinking about how much he hates you.

“Truth. Only because you’d probably dare me to do something moronic.” You’d have loved to, but, in all honesty you just wanted information that you couldn’t attain yourself.  
“Have you, heroes, figured out who the mystery woman is?”   
You really needed to know, if they knew it was you, there’d be hell.

He looked a bit surprised, why would you be asking about OW business, you didn’t really have anything to do with it. “No. The security tapes from the surveillance cameras have been wiped, we knew that he “visited” a night club. We have information that they were seen dragging a woman out of the club. We assume they must be the same person as the one on the roof, and there’s only one person that actually got a good look on her. She told us that if she’d be able to tell who she was if she got a picture of her. We’ll know soon enough though, wait, why are you interested in knowing why?” 

Shit, think of a diversion, how could he still be this competent when he was shit faced, you sure as hell weren’t. Putting up a finger you responded, “You’re breaking the rules you have to ask me truth or dare if you want an answer out of me.” Thank god you could get very charismatic when tired.

“Fine, Truth or Dare.”   
Fuck, you’d have to pick dare yet again. Or you could lie? He was drunk he wouldn’t be able to tell from your little lie. 

“Truth.”

“Fine, tell me-” McCree leant over and whispered something into Hanzo’s ear, “Hey no helping!” you said frustrated, he probably would want to ask you something crude that would make you blush. You only hoped that Hanzo wouldn’t stray from his original question.   
He looked to McCree and it looked as if he said a silent ‘really?’, before McCree nodding fiercely. 

“What do you like?” 

Was this really it? Fine you weren’t one to judge, “I like sleeping, hang out sessions with Hana, my dear Roomba, food-” He looked at you frustrated, “Not that kind of like. Like…” He covered his face with his hand, “In bed and such…”   
You actually knew this one was coming, you’d felt it, right in your soul.

“If you really want to know… I like it kind of sweet?”

They looked at you a bit confused, and you felt your blush creeping up again, fuck them, fuck this, you wanted to leave.

“Like you know, I haven’t officially had… sex… but I always like it when people are sweet and considerate? Consensual you know, although,” You looked away, okay you were two seconds from kicking open the elevator roof door thing, you needed to get out of here soon, “I don’t really mind it when it gets a bit rough too… I’d like to know if we’d get rough though, but I have… been spanked, pinched and bitten before and liked it… I don’t know uhm…”

Doing this for information, doing this for information, c’mon you need this information!

“McCree truth or dare!” you all but screamed at the cowboy, who was looking a little too comfortable. He put a hand up to his beard, scratched it, pretended to look in thought, even if you all knew what was coming. “Dare.” Fucking damn, you had nothing, or, did you?

Getting him to stop calling you “Darlin’” would be nice? He might even start taking you seriously, get a more professional relationship.

“Well, I dare you to stop calling me “darlin’”, because- “ 

“If you wanted me to call ya babe ya coulda just said so, babe!” 

This was worse, far worse…

“No.”

“Would ya prefer it if I called ya sugar tits?” 

“Babe is fine.”

Great going, you’d gotten a new worse nickname! Look at you!  
McCree looked towards Hanzo, with a mocking grin this time. If looks could kill, McCree would have been buried about a decade ago.

“Hanzo, y’know the drill”

“Truth.”

Again with the fake “beard scratching and thinking” action, but at least you didn’t know what he’d ask this time. Knowing him, it’d either be something stupid like “What’s 1+1?” to get the game moving, or something to embarrass the two of you. He was probably going with the latter.

“What do ya think about…” If he was going to say you, you would punch his face in, you fucking would, “Ass? Do you prefer ass or tits?”   
At least this question wasn’t about you, but you still felt like punching McCree in the face for this question. 

“While ass has its perks, it’s not a particularly erogenous zone, so unless you’re “eating ass”, slapping, grabbing or biting into it, and your partner enjoys such acts, your partner will receive little pleasure. It’d be more pleasurable for your partner if you went for their tits, their nipples are more sensitive than an ass cheek is. Even if I enjoy both, I would like for my partner to receive as much pleasure as I get out of touching them, meaning I’ll have to go for tits.”

Unexpected, that’s what his answer was. But you somewhat agreed, even if you enjoyed both, if you were to act sexual you’d go for tits as well. Everyone seemed pleased with this answer, but now it was Hanzo’s turn, and he had his eyes on you.

“Truth or dare?”

Wasn’t it obvious? 

“Truth, definitely truth.”

You’d forgotten that you weren’t supposed to pick truth, and you mentally screamed at yourself, 

“Why’d you want to know about this mystery woman?”

Half-truth, c’mon, HALF-TRUTH! 

“Because I was interested in what your progress was, if you’d found out who she was or not. I know it’s been stressing Morrison out.”  
They looked at you as if they’d seen a ghost, completely shocked. Did you say something wrong? You’d chosen your words carefully right? Not mentioning that you were the mystery woman? You were 100% certain that you had not given them anything about you being that woman, and asked quietly, “What?”

 

“You lied earlier.” 

Shit, abort mission abort! They knew you were the mystery woman, you were going to get interrogated, tortured and maybe even killed!

 

Why hadn’t you told them in the first place, maybe they would have spared your ass!

 

“You’ve fucked 76.” 

Wait what? Since when had you fucked him, or given any indications as to you having fucked him? You were utterly baffled and bared your teeth in disgust.

“What the fuck? No?? I have not fucked Soldier 76?”

Hanzo scoffed, “Oh please, you just called him by his actual name? He never lets anyone call him by his name.” McCree jumped in, “and he has a nickname for ya! And ya always seem on edge around him. The two of you have totally fucked.”  
You knew you hadn’t, but you weren’t going to argue with two drunkards. 

“Moving on, I believe it’s my turn.”

They were about to argue, to call you out on something you sure as hell hadn’t done, but you wouldn’t let them. You dominated this room, you were the one in charge, and you’d get exactly the information you wanted.

“Hanzo, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

Wait what the fuck, dare?! He had picked dare over truth, fuck he knew that you were looking for information. This was not good; you’d have to pick something that wouldn’t seem suspicious. You’d have to go, sexual.

“I dare you to…” Jump off a bridge, run naked around the base, ask Athena to give a public message that he was a huge fucking cock, but honestly you kind of wanted to, and this was embarrassing,   
“Let me touch your tattoo.” 

The design was simply too much, you had a weak spot for cool looking tattoos, you just needed to feel! Scooting next to him, you reached for his arm but stopped, looking at him, almost asking for permission, and he looked away as he moved his arm so you could touch it.

Gently feeling his skin, you kind of dragged his arm closer to your face, just so you could inspect the details a bit better. The person who designed it had done an excellent job, they definitely deserved praise, maybe you could ask him who designed it so you could get a dragon tattoo yourself.

You just needed to feel, tracing your fingers over the dragon’s scales, if you didn’t know any better you’d say they almost glowed. Must’ve gotten glitter or some light up in the dark ink on it. You were a bit jealous, it was so well made, and you wanted one yourself. His skin was so smooth too! Smoother than yours, you had small bumps from old scars, yet his arm had none.

“So smooth skin… What the fuck…”

You whispered to yourself, moving onto his shoulder. He was so damn muscular, even with his smooth skin you could feel the hard bulging muscles. Piece of fuck, how dare he feel so good to your touch. 

You gave a soft scratch on his tattoo, letting your nails move from his neck, to shoulder, down to his hand. You swore he was giving off a shaky breath and a swear word, that meant it was time for you to back off, and you scooted back.

Now it was McCree who looked pissed off, what, did he want you to touch him as well?

“Very much so babe.”

Had he read your thoughts or had you said that out loud?   
Sighing you rubbed your eyes, you were so tired. You didn’t know whether you were saying anything or not.

“McCree, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

He was a dare person; why would he not choose dare? Fucking fine then, maybe he had some information about something you’ve been wondering about.

“Who destroyed the common living room?”

Had he expected you to ask “do you like me” or “what are you like in bed”? He had, so when you asked him who had destroyed something he was completely uninterested in, he was disappointed to say the least.

“Think it was Junkrat ‘nd Roadhog, they sure as hell like to make a mess.” 

You couldn’t accuse them based on a hypothesis, you needed the truth!

“Fuck it then, that’s just one thing that’ll have to remain a mystery…”

Giving it up was hard, you’d spent weeks renovating it, yet there was no point in being petty… Okay, you’ll just leave it on ice, if you ever figure out who it was you could be petty then.

“Babe, truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

Yes, you loved picking truth, you truly did. It was the one thing in your life that made living worthwhile, picking truth. You were tired, you were cold, and you were sarcastic, playing truth or dare with two people that turned into weird teens when drunk, what a night!

“Who- wait are you cold?”

You were. You were very cold. You were freezing. He must’ve just noticed your shiver, or maybe the fact that your teeth were clattering.

“Geez, what gave it off? The fact that I’m turning blue?”

It meant that they haven’t stared at your body, so they really weren’t interested in you? 

Just joking around? 

Good, you didn’t feel like turning anyone down.

“Come here babe, I’ll warm ya up.”

You’d rather freeze to death. But as you were about to freeze to death, you didn’t feel like you had any option. Scooting your ass over to him, and lifting yourself to sit in his lap, you heard a grunt from Hanzo and a laugh from the man you were currently sitting on.

“I meant come over so I could hand you my serape, but this works too.”

As if he hadn’t planned this all along, he was definitely feigning innocence, and you felt foolish to have fallen for it. Didn’t mean you’d allow him to make you feel like a fool.   
He was laughing, but would laugh no longer, as you pretended to shiver, giving of a hard grind, causing friction between your ass and well, to be frank, his dick.

This caused his laugh to turn into a cough. Success. 

“Well, what were you going to ask me?”

you whispered huskily barely audible, while leaning back into his chest. Why was he going to be the only one to be allowed to flirt? He was going to wish he’d never messed with you.

“I-uh…” 

How sweet revenge was, how delicious it was, how satisfying! You’d caused the man to stammer, you’d managed to fluster THE McCree, this was your legacy, you’d be known as the person who managed to out flirt the flirty cowboy! Good job.

“Just ask her the damn question so we can move on.”

Was Hanzo getting jealous or just sobering up? Either way, you bet you could make him flustered too!

“Would you rather have me in your lap?”

“Yes.”

Fuck.

F u c k.

You were not the only one who reacted to Hanzo’s answer, as the stammering man behind you whispered, “What in tarnation?”  
You looked behind you, you and the cowboy were both shocked, 

“McCree is making sexual advances; he is obviously attracted to you. I assure you, I’m not attracted to you. That way you can get the warmth you need without being taken advantage of.”

“Oh, well. Here I was hoping you were into me too.”

You kept a serious face as you said it, you’d meant it sarcastically of course. Grabbing McCree’s serape, trying your best to remove it over his head without choking him, his hat falling to the ground, you moved back to your previous spot warming yourself. The serape smelled like cigars, old spice and whiskey, exactly like McCree. Why you’d smelled his serape was beyond you, but you had.

You looked to McCree who almost looked… naked? He always wore his serape and hat, every single time you’d seen him, he’d be wearing those two items. 

“Now? Are we still playing or can I go sleep?”

“Oh, yea, right...”

Wait was he still flustered? You blamed it on the alcohol and moved on.

“Out of everyone on base, who would you fuck?”

You though to yourself, should you answer honestly? Or go with a witty comment?

“Me.”

Witty it and realistic, thank god for self-loving. 

“My, my, great minds think alike, or what babe?”

Seemed like he’d gotten over your “one-night-stand” comment, and that brought you somewhat joy.

“Well, Hanzo, you know the drill.”

“Truth.”

He looked tired and somewhat bored, you felt that yourself. But your next question must be the most important one.

“Who’s 76 sending to protect my brother?”

This piqued his interest, and suddenly he was engaged in your conversation.

“What do you mean ‘protecting your brother’.”

“He’s… Gotten into some tough shit, the Hacker has figured out his location.”

He scoffed, could he be any ruder?!

“His own fault, he knows the risk he’s taking with her.”

‘Her’? He knew who the hacker was? Okay you definitely needed to know now. You crawled across the floor, sitting right in front of him, staring him down.

“You know who the Hacker is?”

You heard a name mentioned behind you, “Sombra.”

“You both know?” You asked, “Babe, everyone on base knows who she is, she’s one a’ the “bad guys” we’re fightin’ against.” 

“Then who’s he sending to protect my brother? He IS sending someone, right?”

You were worried, had you told your brother there’d be help on the way when there was none? You’d completely fucked him over, oh god!  
Hanzo let out a grunt, 

“Your brother knew the risk, we told him countless times to leave it alone, and even if his information was worth gold, it was only a matter of time before she got to him. He’s intelligent, but also a fool. I don’t think we’ll be sending anyone.”

“You don’t mean that! You can’t.” You were getting angry, “For starters he’s an informant, you have to have some kind of policy on that?! Secondly, he’s my fucking brother, that’s…”

“That’s got to be worth something right?”

You looked at him, searching for an answer, the correct answer. That yes of course he was just joking, your brother was in their care, safe and sound, but no, there were no indication of that what so ever. 

“I’m sorry babe, there’s… nothing we can do…”

“Nothing you can do? Are you fucking kidding me?” You rose and turned against McCree, god you were worried and so angry.

“Now I know what 76s promise is worth, fucking nothing!” You twisted and pulled out the emergency stop, causing the elevator to move to the level you’d punched in earlier.  
There were no one coming for your brother, you’d left him thinking he was safe, what a damn fool you were, he might already be dead!

“If my brothers dead, I’ll gut 76 with my own two hands.” You whispered angrily.

You were about to run off angrily, when Hanzo grabbed your hand holding you in place.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Looking him straight in his eyes, you scowled,

“Your fucking job at protecting people.”

“Babe, you’re on lockdown, you can’t go in or out without an escort.”

Ripping your hand out of Hanzo’s grip, you stepped up to McCree, 

“Then fucking join me. Escort my ass all the way to wherever the fuck my brother is. If I lose him,” 

Tears were dropping, “- I’ll lose everything. I’d rather die than lose another person, be it my friends or my brother… Especially my brother. He’s the only family I got left, and I’ll be damned if I lose him as well.”

You hiccupped, your head hurting, you really needed to take your medicine.

“You know I can’t do that babe… I, I have to be here, it’s my job.”

“Oh yea?” God, no, you were going to say something you’d regret,

“Well, this Sombra knows shit about me too, she’ll be coming for my ass as well.”

This confused them, “Why?” you turned towards Hanzo, “Sombra wouldn’t just target someone’s family member, you don’t need to worry about that. You’re just a maid.”

“It’s not your fault that you hired someone you don’t fucking know, she is definitely coming for my ass as well.”

“If you’re referring to the fact that you were a superior officer in the army, yes we know. It’s not impressive. She won’t target someone that was kicked out of the army, you have no information that she’d need.”

You looked on the ground, anywhere but them, you’d spoken ahead of yourself,

“You weren’t just a superior officer were you?”

He didn’t look surprised, but now he’d taken on a somewhat defensive stance, as if he’d have to fight you.

“You honestly think I’d be so fucked up if I was?”

“I expected that when I found ya, but I wasn’t 100% certain, people can get shit over the littlest things.”

How… He was the one who’d found you, weren’t he? McCree was the one who’d found you in the kitchen, how he’d gotten in was beyond you, but he had, and he’d helped you. He’d seen you at your weakest state, fucking shit.

“I need to get to him.”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

A third person had found you, and fuck, it was Soldier 76.

 

“Not until you tell me who the fuck you are, “soldier”, and why the fuck you’re in contact with Reaper.”

 

 

You’d paid by card hadn’t you? Not by cash like you usually did.  
That’s where he’d found your name. Since you hadn’t mentioned anything, he’d only assumed you were unaware of what was happening. He’d denied it at first, coming up with excuses, that it was just a coincidence. But it had bugged him, and he’d reluctantly handed the girl they’d interrogated a photo of you, not a very flattering one at that, but she’d recognized you right away. He didn’t want to believe it.

When you’d come to his office, requesting aid, he’d known it was true. You were in contact with Talon. You were probably sending information to them by the hour, pumping every member for secrets. A damn dirty liar, that’s what you were. He’d tried his best to excuse you, but when he’d overheard chatter while leaving his office, he had gotten his worst nightmare confirmed.

 

You were not who he’d thought you were.

 

“Look, I don’t know squat shit about who this Reaper man is, but I won’t let you not let me leave.” 

Lies.  
Just lies.   
You knew who he was, you were working for him, probably fucking him too, what a fool he’d been.

“After interrogation, I’ll consider not killing you.”

You and your brother were working for Talon, you infiltrating the base, gathering information.

“Fuck you. I’m not going to be interrogated, I’ll be leaving base, and I will be saving my brother.”

Wrong answer.

A pulse rifle was pointed towards you. “Don’t you fucking dare point that shit at me.”

The nerve, you were grabbed from behind by McCree, and pushed towards the ground, face smashed towards the ground. Held down, a knee on your back.

“Shut up.”

Was all McCree said, and he said it so quietly too. He was still drunk, meant his senses was weakened, advantage. Hanzo was drunk as well, meaning you’d only have to fight a fucking beast of a soldier.  
Trying to wiggle proved to be difficult as his grip on you tightened.  
There’s no way you’d get out of his grip unless you took him by surprise, use your head!

Take him by surprise, take him by surprise, get him off of you, don’t panic.

If you somehow get him off you, you’d have to fight Hanzo and knock the two unconscious, if you weren’t shot before that. Just, don’t think, do!

Taking a deep breath, you were ready for your next action. You started wiggling again, although this time you were prepared. McCree’s knee pressed harder against your back, this was your cue!

Letting out a loud moan, you screamed out,

 

“Harder daddy!”

 

This definitely took everyone by surprise, even yourself, but as he lightened his grip in a bit, you got your arms lose, dragged yourself forward and kicked McCree right in the face.

You weren’t sorry. 

Rolling away, you scrambled to your feet. While McCree was screaming into his hands that covered his hurt face, you were going to take on Hanzo. He punched you in the face. No remorse there, he probably even enjoyed it too the sadistic fuck.

He managed to knock a tooth loose and you spit it out on the ground, your cheek stinging, saliva and blood running out of your mouth, yet you moved quickly.   
Trying to gut him so you could knock the air out of him, but he’d been ready, and easily blocked it, throwing another punch, hitting the same cheek, but it wasn’t as hard this time, even if it sent spit and blood flying.

You kicked him right in the side, way harder than what you’d done to McCree, it looked kind of stupid, but with your strength and the help of your boots, you managed to knock his breath out. And you double punched him, two to the face, you cracked his nose, and he went down, for a bit and you elbowed his back, sending him to the ground. 

Forgetting about 76 was not clever, because he’d quite literally jumped at you, sending you to the ground as you hit your head. It was at times like this you wished you still had your helmet. White, fuck don’t lose your sight now! You tried to punch 76 who was sitting on top of you. He grabbed your hand.

Holding your hand, he easily broke your bone with a simple yet tight grip. Screaming out in pain, you writhed underneath him. Needing to get the fuck away from him. He grabbed your throat and started choking you.

Clawing at his hands you tried ripping them away, you felt your airway getting tighter and tighter. Screaming was useless, and you teared up. 

“Are you going to stop fighting if I let you go soldier?”

He released the hold on your throat so you could breathe. Tears streaming, your mind clouded, you took deep gulps of air.  
You looked up, spitting blood and saliva in his face.

“Choke me harder Daddy”

That was definitely not the right answer, yet he seemed somewhat willing to comply. Why you’d said that, you didn’t know, at least you’d go out with a banger sentence, so that was nice. You could try grinding against him and pretending that you were loving it, but as you were fucking dying, you weren’t focused on trying to get him fucking aroused.

As you felt yourself passing out, the grip on your throat was gone, and 76 fell on top of you. Knocked unconscious? You pushed him off of you, no, no she couldn’t have, she didn’t just do that.

“Hana…” you almost didn’t have a voice, she’d knocked him out with his own rifle, all credit to her, but this was bad, “Are you okay?! What the fuck happened!” She tried to get to you, but you pushed 76 away, and got to your feet. She was angry tears streaming down her face, “What happened?! Tell me! We, we can fix this!” 

 

What you did next was necessary, you didn’t want Hana to get in trouble, not in any more than she already was. 

 

Getting to your feet, you stepped up to Hana, and punched her, hard.

 

She was knocked out.

You lent down, whispered an apology, and tried your best to put her in a good position. 

“Sorry, I can’t, I can’t let them know that you know.”

 

You were kicked from behind and were pushed forward with a massive force, the front of your head hitting the hard floor.

Fuck you’d thought you had immobilized McCree, apparently not.

Letting out a mixture of a gasp, a groan and a scream at the same time your head stung and you turned to the side.

 

A click. 

 

Definitely not a click from just anything, this was the click from something that could and would kill you.

You knew McCree was known as “Deadeye”, he didn’t miss and when he hit his target, they weren’t going to walk, wave or smile ever again.

Dead men don’t smile.

He was still holding his face, must’ve broken his nose or something, considering the blood streaming through his hands. Even in this situation, you felt like rising up, asking him if he was okay and aid him. But you weren’t able to do that, never again.   
They were going to kill you.

“Don’t move.”

You couldn’t really hear him properly; he was speaking through his muffled hand. Wanting to your knees, or a more comfortable position, was useless. Not being able to escape, you were getting captured yet again, but this time there were no dead bodies.   
This time there were people that you cared for that pointed a gun to your head.   
Even if it was terrifying, it was also a whole lot better. Sometimes they’d throw the decaying bodies into your cell. 

So even if this wasn’t ideal, and you were absolutely scared, it was a whole lot better knowing you hadn’t needed to kill anyone.

Goddamn you were tired, and you started to feel the pain from your face. It had been numb because of all the adrenaline pumping through your system, but now the pain was not so gently making itself present. The swelling feel was starting to make itself present, you probably wouldn’t be able to see tomorrow.

 

“Get to yer fuckin’ feet.”

You obeyed, even if the pain was making it hard. Gun still pointed to you, or would the more proper name be revolver? Stop thinking about the weapon that’s about to kill you. Desperately wanting to know where you were going, but not questioning it, you followed suit.

 

You were in the elevator again, but this time McCree opened a panel, one that you’d never noticed, and scanned his key card. Where you were going was unknown, but definitely nowhere good. All you could hear was the heavy breaths of the two of you, and McCree tapping his foot. The spurs were jingling a bit. The noise, that’s what you decided to focus on. 

“Did ya have to knock Hana out? Aren’t ya friends or whatever?”

Looking to him, you noticed that he’d moved the hand covering his face, damn it was covered in blood. He looked stern, angry? You would probably also be angry if someone kicked your face in, even if you’d just been punched and lost a fucking tooth. Almost forgetting about the tooth part, you spit on the ground. A mixture of blood and saliva forming, not caring about who’d have to clean it. Not having a job anymore, that meant that you didn’t have to clean it.

“Do ya think she’d get away with knocking 76 out?”

You asked, wiping your chin, not really doing a good job, just smearing the shit on the cheek that hadn’t been hit. McCree looked in thought, considering what you’d said, amazing how quick he was to sober up. Only minutes earlier you’d been sitting on this very floor, on his very lap, and now the two of you looked beat.  
It was hilarious, how quick things could change.

“No.”

Giving off a knowing nod, you tried to tell him that ‘yeah that’s why I did it’. He touched his nose and winced, you’d done a number on him, broken yet another nose. It was impossible to hold yourself back, even if you knew you were technically enemies now, it was hard to readjust. Taking a step forward, reaching for him, he quickly took the safety off, and pointed his gun at you, making you take two steps backward, hitting the elevator wall.

Streaming tears, dripping gently on the elevator floor. Sniffles and mechanical whirrs.   
You had hurt him, Hanzo, 76 and Hana, god you were truly a monster weren’t you.  
Touching your swelling cheek, you pinched it, the increasing pain making you want to scream. Without thinking you said,

“I’m so fucking sorry, I am, I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Correct answer, wrong scenario and situation. He growled at you,

“Then why’d ya keep it from us?! Why’d ya keep information from us? I know yer not co-operatin’ with Reaper, yer so fuckin’ clueless.”

Nodding, tears were flying everywhere, you were clueless. 

“Because, I-I’m not,” you were stammering, “B-because I’m not, I didn’t want you to know. I wanted to put the past behind me.”  
That’s what you’d originally wanted, why else would you get a job as a cleaning help or whatever the fuck you were.

“Ya can’t put it behind ya. It’ll follow ya ‘till yer dead.”

You were well aware, you knew you’d never be able to put the past behind, it came back to haunt you. The elevator stopped, must be on the right floor. The door opened painfully slow, and you were lead into a hallway, not so unlike any of the other hallways in the facility.   
The doors however, were different. Scanning his card, a door opened and you entered.

The grey metal walls, the cement like floor. There was nothing there, not a bed, not a table, or even a chair. Empty.  
This was the place you’d die; you’d get shot against that very wall.  
Well, you shouldn’t ruin McCree’s serape, at least you still had your kindness. 

Taking off you handed it to him. Looking at it, but not taking it. Fine, you took it back, folded it, and put it down on the ground right in front of his feet.  
Walking forward, back turned to him, you were ready.   
Putting your hands up against the wall, putting your head that’d definitely gotten a bump against it, spreading your legs. 

Your breath was shaky, and you felt as though you were standing there for minutes. Were you perhaps already dead? Not daring to turn around, knowing that you’d probably wet yourself at the sight you spoke,

“Make it as fast and painless as possible.” 

No answer came, but you knew he was there. You could hear him breathing, was he changing his mind, hesitating? 

“Now why in tarnation would I do that?”

Did he want you to suffer? You didn’t take him for such a sadistic fuck, but apparently he was. You could hear the spurs jingle again, he was closing in on you, probably going to roughen you up a bit. Never give them the satisfaction of hearing you plea for your life, you’d only done so once, but not at your attacker.

He was right behind you, there was nowhere to run, you’d have to take it. Almost feeling his hot breath against your now bare shoulders. Giving up, that’s what you had.

“We don’t even have the information we want.”

He touched your shoulder and you shivered. His hand was so warm, even if it was covered in blood. Then your other shoulder, the cold metal making you gasp loudly.  
In any other situation, this might’ve been fucking hot, but at the moment it fucking wasn’t.   
It was scaring you, you weren’t comfortable.

Turning, you were now looking into his eyes, his deep brown and beautiful eyes. His face was so close to yours, and in any other situation it might’ve been welcoming. It wasn’t now, it was making you scared. Not writhing in his grip, you couldn’t, you were dead if you tried anything.

“Who are you?”

He gently touched your cheek, as if he was examining the damage, which honestly you were doing to his nose too. Definitely broken, fuck you were a bad employee. He wiped your face with his hand, a mixture of saliva, tears, snot, sweat and blood, wiped away. Sniffling you looked away, you couldn’t look at him.

“5…”

Were you really going to tell him? Were you honestly going to tell him who the fuck you were? Seemed like it, 

“5… What do ya mean by 5?”

Swallowing, you were going to have to tell someone someday, just didn’t realize today was that day.

“5-308. That’s me.”

He looked confused, it’s not like he would actually know who you were, but it was at least the truth. 

“I’ve never heard of ya, babe. Never heard of a 5-308 before, what d’ya mean?”

“My numbers. Code-name, used it when I was on missions for the army. Undercover ones, they were not really documented, only a few files about me, some paper and some digital. But the digital ones, they hold the most information.”

He furrowed his brows,

“The one’s Sombra got?”

Nodding, you looked at his face again, desperately wanting to touch him, your mind screamed at you, but your body moved on your own and you touched his face. Caressing his face, wiping your thumb over his cheek. Why’d you have to be so strange?

“I’m sorry.” You retracted your hand, don’t touch your enemies face “That Reaper man knows my numbers, and face, which means he must have met me before. Where I don’t know… He mentioned my last mission, that Talon rescued me? But I, that’s, I don’t remember that ever happening. I remember that mission clear as day, but nothing like that happened.”

Wishing that you didn’t remember was hard enough, but you did, you remembered every detail, even what you had breakfast, the last one ever with your parents. 

“Talon knows of you?”

He asked, and you nodded, tears were still streaming, your face hurt, your head hurt, everything hurt.

“Don’t know how, but they do. So does this hacker and monster in black,” He seemed to cringe a bit at your wording, but you continued, “I’ve never been in contact with them, ever. All I know is that if they know of one mission, it means I have to get to my brother or he’ll get killed. I can’t let anyone else die, not by my hands. I don’t want someone innocent to die, not my brother. He’s the last one.”

Hiccupping and sniffling, you wiped your face with your dirty hands. They hurt, your knuckles were bruising and your wrist felt weak, oh right, your left arm was broken, thank god for adrenaline.

“I can’t let him die too. I know, I know I freaked when I heard no one was coming for him, I can’t afford another loss. I’ll die, I’ll die.”

You would, you couldn’t bear another loss, especially not a family member.  
Putting his arm behind your back, he pulled you close. It was obvious that he didn’t want to hurt you, that you weren’t supposed to be in this situation. Warmth, he was so warm, and resting your head on his chest you started shaking as tears streamed. This was a bad night, a terrible one.

“I don’t know what’ll happen, but I advise ya t’ tell the truth,”

Hadn’t lied so far, not even altered the truth, just chosen not to tell everything, but you weren’t going to argue, you had no strength to do so.

“I won’t. I’ll tell you whatever you’d like to know.”

 

“So you’ll admit it, you prefer me over Hanzo?”

Looking up, you saw that shit eating grin. Piece of fuck, how could he even joke at a time like this. It was comical though, and you started laughing, tears still rolling down your cheeks.

“Hahah fuck you” You started, “At least you didn’t punch my tooth out, so yes, I’ll admit that I prefer you at the moment.”

“Fuck did he?” How he could go from flirty and shitty to a worried and serious person was beyond you, he should have at least eased into it or something. “I think 76 broke my hand too, goddamn, but I’m more worried about your nose, I did kick you in your face…”

“Nothin’ ta worry ‘bout Babe, a kick ain’t enough to scare me away. I’ll get Mercy, she’ll heal ya up real good.” No, you didn’t want Angela to know, you didn’t want anyone to know. They trusted you, how’d they react to knowing that you were something other than what they’d thought?

“No. If you want this to stay on the down low, and not get the interrogation interrupted, I suggest you keep quiet about it. Don’t get her. Don’t get anyone.”  
You knew, that he knew, that you were right. The interrogation would surely not go as planned if everyone on base knew.

“Shit, ya want some pain killers or somethin’ then, until we’re done?”

“That’d be lovely, get me my Zoloft as well,”

“Zoloft? Yer on medication?”

Nodding into his chest, you were kind of liking the warmth he was radiating. Honestly this hug, or whatever it was, made you feel safe. Even if the numbness had turned into a stinging pain, this position right here was making you forget it. Only focusing on your rising chests.  
If only you weren’t in this situation.

“I better go and get it, ‘less ya want me to stay babe.”

The selfish part of you wanted to say ‘yes’, but even if there weren’t any surveillance cameras, you couldn’t risk the two of you being seen in this position.

“Go get your nose healed, I’ll be fine.”

He seemed reluctant to let you go, but did. Scanning his card, the door opened, and he gave a last look to you before the door closed and you were alone.  
Better get some rest, you’d need it considering you’d be interrogated all day.  
Looking at the floor, you saw his serape. Might as well bundle up a bit, you thought, putting it around you and trying to find a comfortable position on the hard ground.

 

 

You’d fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What an emotional rollercoaster eh? Readers got into a lot of shit and now got a busted face, a broken arm and two large bumps on their head. Great going, Reader.
> 
> Sorry this one took a lot of time, I originally planned on going in a different direction (The chapter had like 20.000 words) but I didn't like it so I rewrote and shortened it.  
> Hope ya like this fucking shit, I'll try to get a new shorter chapter for today!
> 
> As always, I'm available on Tumblr and if you want to get notifications that I've updated, just follow my Twitter account:
> 
> http://nopersdopers.tumblr.com  
> https://twitter.com/NopersDopers


	14. Sleep time

Cool air, a shiver ran down your back

Electricity, following your spine, skin stinging.

 

You’re sure you’ve had worse headaches, that this was not the worst one. There was a pressure on your frontal lobe, the connection between your skull and neck, and there was definitely a heavy force on your sinus. 

Another shiver ran down your spine, ending at your lower back. Your back was killing you, there was most likely a huge bruise on the left. Undneath left “angel wing”, that’s where you’d gotten kicked, which meant moving your left arm would be difficult. Not that you’d be able to, it was fucking broken.

Whimpering, you tried to lay completely still and not focus on the pain, but it was there, and it wasn’t leaving anytime soon. Tears had been streaming while you’d tried to sleep, your breathing hitching, gulping air when the pulsating pain hit you.

 

This is what you deserved.

 

Trying to open your eyes was difficult, your face was so incredibly swollen you only managed to get your left eye open, he’d hit you on the right side, and you’d lost a tooth. The vibrating cheek, moving in and out of numbness, stung when you tried to open your mouth but you needed to check, which tooth had been knocked out.

Fingers deep in your mouth, feeling around you could feel that your tooth hadn’t been knocked out, but two had been badly chipped. Your orthodontist would have a fucking field day with working on this, you’d probably have to get adult braces to get it right. At least a surgery to get two new teeth. Fucking bitch, he deserved whatever damage he got.

Your lip was definitely swollen and sore, the bad kind. The remaining after taste of your diritied fingers was awful, and you wanted to spit, but it’d only hurt you more.

 

The serape had done well keeping you somewhat warm for however long you slept, you hadn’t gotten hypothermia yet, meant that you were doing something right.  
It still somewhat smelled like McCree. Warm and safe.

Just like earlier today, when he’d held you close. He knew that you’d fucked up, he knew you could’ve gotten killed, but he’d spared you, and held you tight.  
What a nice touch he had, so… comforting. It’d been a long time since anyone had held you like that, as if letting go was taboo, as if letting go would mean that you’d never see each other again.

 

Sitting upright, you scanned the room. Still as empty as ever. No food, no water, no medicine. Was this how they’d torture you? Leave you in an empty room and let you slowly lose your mind until you babbled? What an old technique, it wouldn’t work, you “enjoyed” your own company too much.

 

This was getting ridiculous, was no one coming for you? Were they really just going to leave you alone? Maybe they were in danger, maybe they’d gotten attacked! 

Limping towards the metal door, you tried opening it, it’d worked once before.   
They hadn’t expected you to just walk out of the room, no one had ever done that. But let’s not reminisce on old memories, let’s just focus on getting out.

Feeling the walls, it was useless, you couldn’t get through them. Could you, perhaps, call out for Athena and ask her to open the door? Worth a shot, you were already in deep shit.

“A-” you started, but didn’t manage to finish as you screamed out in pain. Fucking cheek, fucking tooth, fuck this! Your throat hurt as you continued to scream, the suffering just wouldn’t stop. 

There was need for you to scream.

Stop.

You stopped, only hiccupping whimpering. Good, now, just sit down, be quiet, go to your happy place.  
Just like you had before.

Remember your happy place?

 

Birds chirping outside your window, singing their morning songs.  
Light from the sunrise shone through your blinds, illuminating the room.  
The warmth, so pleasant, so welcome, something heavy was on top of you, your newly washed white sheets.

A gentle, yet warm, breeze came in through your half open window. Smell of newly cut grass, it was a Saturday, and you were allowed to sleep in. For as long as you’d like.

Opening your eyes, you could see your room, from the perspective of your bed. A bit messy, some clothes here and there, a couple water bottles, an actual paper book on the floor, alongside some pieces of paper. You liked paper, even if it was more environmental friendly to use digital files.

The big “hotel” pillow that you’d bought, were so soft to the touch and you hugged it close. You had bought it with your friends after they decided that your room needed a new and fresh look. It’d been a lot of fun shopping for it, you’d gotten in a pillow fight with your friends in the store, but you’d of course stopped when an employee gave you guys a look.   
Still smelled like it just came out of the store, basically fresh?

On the night stand next to your bed, there was placed a bowl filled with a mix of candy. Some sour, some sweet and sugary, a bit of chocolate and even some caramels. Taking a sour one you popped it in your mouth, the fuzzy feel made you scrunch your nose, a cringe clearly present on your face. The sourness felt so good, even when it kind of stung.

Sitting up, placing the hotel pillow behind you, you took a look around your room. A cabinet, some shelves, you had the bare necessities in your room. The simple yet elegant white walls, lit up by the sun’s rays, it was quite beautiful.  
You found a lot things beautiful, the littlest things made you happy.

Should you take a step out of bed? 

You did, feeling the cooled floor, even if it was hot outside the floor still managed to keep cold. Looking through the clump of clothes on the floor, you found a long, grey, woollen cardigan that you slipped over you, considering you were only wearing a black, somewhat lacy sleeping dress. This wasn’t your usual sleep wear, but who were you to complain, you looked good.

Pushing down the handle to your room, you opened slowly, the door giving off a soft creek. Looking out you saw the hallway, it was lit up by the light shining through the window. Seemed like every piece of dust was present, the light giving off a shine on the floating specks. Moving quickly towards the kitchen area, you felt better, you were home.

Safe even.

 

The kitchen was empty, maybe you should prepare some breakfast?  
Opening your fridge, the smell of yesterday’s leftovers hit your nostrils, delicious and tempting, but that’d be for lunch. 

On a mission to find the right ingredients, you found eggs, bacon, some iceberg lettuce, paprika, cucumber and even some tomatoes, even if you didn’t particularly enjoy it you knew someone else in the house would. Taking out the baking trays in the oven, you turned it on, found a baking sheet and laid it across the tray.   
Cooking bacon in the over meant that they’d all be cooked even, no grease would splatter over your hands and that you could cook everything at once!

Looking through the pantry, you found some bread, both white and whole grain. The toaster was somewhat malfunctioning, turning one end a bit “crisper” than the other, but it didn’t really bother you.  
Finding some pots and pans, it was time to warm up the tomato sauce beans.

Cutting up the vegetables, you placed it neatly on serving plate, and put it on the dining table. You needed to turn down the heat on the beans, and quickly moved to turn the warmth down to the lowest possible function on your stove top. Time to cook some eggs!

Putting a frying pan on the stove top, you put a decent clump of margarine in, melting quickly. Waiting for a bit, you cracked the eggshell, and down came the yolk and egg white, immediately starting to sizzle softly. Another egg, another egg, you were making around 5 eggs. One for you, two for your brother and one for each parent.

Turning on the water boiler, you found a French press and some coffee infused with cocoa beans, giving off a chocolate smell. Not exactly mocha, but still close. 

 

Everything was done, the table covered in food, it was mouth-watering.   
Presenting food was something you felt confident in doing, and the smell was truly enchanting. 

Sitting down on your seat you took a deep breath, watching everything in front of you.

“Breakfast!”

You yelled, but no one answered.

“Are you still sleeping?”

No one answered and you were getting anxious.

“C’mon Wakey, Wakey, I’ve made eggs and bacey!”

Still no answer.

“If you don’t come now I’ll eat it all myself, I’m very hungry!”

But nobody came.

 

Opening your eyes, you were back in the same old metal room. Happy place your ass, it’d made you feel worse. It had made you feel incredibly guilty.  
No one was going to come for breakfast.

 

You only had your brother, and you weren’t even sure if he was alive anymore.   
The walls were closing in on you, and you were starting to feel desperate.  
Moving back to your feet, you headed towards the door and started banging.

“Athena, let me out.”

You said, sternly, you couldn’t shout, couldn’t scream, couldn’t even see properly. 

The walls came closer; the room was definitely getting smaller.

Taking a couple steps back, you were now in the middle of the room, which had started spinning, making you incredibly nauseous.

“This isn’t funny, open the door.”

But no one came, who would you expect would come?

“Open the fucking door… please.”

Noticing yourself starting to shake you sat back down, your breathing uncomfortable, pressing against your throat. So nauseous, your stomach was twisting. It was worse than being hungover. 

Pushing the serape out of the way, you held yourself up by the minimizing wall, hurling. Puking all over the floor, the acid stinging the wounds in your mouth. Screaming out in pain, you continued to puke.

Was as if someone was punching you in the stomach, doing the Heimlich manoeuvre on you, over and over again. Bits of old food came streaming out of your nose, making you almost unable to breathe.

 

It took what you imagined must be minutes until you stopped puking, the room was still small, but at least not closing in on you anymore.  
You’d managed to keep everything but your face free of puke, snot and gall running from your nostrils, dripping from your chin.

Seating yourself in a corner, as far away from the puke as possible, it was time to do what you did best, dissociate.

 

Somehow, you couldn’t even do that, fine next trick. Singing to yourself, any song, long or short, in any known language or not. 

How was that one song? Remember the one you’d taught yourself, with your mother? The special one, maybe you could try to remember that one.

The words were imprinted on you, the gentle tone soothing you. But it was difficult to remember, and you were sure you skipped a few lines, but that didn’t matter it was your favourite paragraph.

“War is contempt for life,   
peace is to create,   
fight with all your might;   
death shall lose…”

What a line, but, it did, it did help you, it did.   
Death would lose, you sure as hell wouldn’t, continue singing every song you’ve ever heard, talk to yourself, do whatever you need to do. Just don’t lose, not right now.

What would your parents think of you if you were being a wimp now? You still had your brother to save, and you sure as hell wouldn’t let death come near him. 

Not now, not ever.

 

Singing had proven to be quite therapeutic, even when your throat hurt, and you could barely open your mouth. All you had to do now was wait, because you knew they’d come.  
True be your words, you could hear the door hissing open.

“My, my, you’re quite the sight aren’t you?”

Being sarcastic now were you? You felt like you were allowed to, he’d wrecked your face. 

“Will the interrogation begin right away or am I going to have to do that myself?”

Mocking Hanzo were you? Hadn’t you learnt not to poke the dragon?

He came closer, but his face only held few bruises, he’d gotten himself healed. Frowning, you tried your best to keep your right eye open, but as swollen as your right side was, it was proving to be difficult. He looked pissed, his brows furrowed, eyes narrowed at you and a definite “upside down smile”. 

His nose scrunched and he looked to the wall where you’d had an “accident”. Not your fault that you hated enclosed spaces and that it made you nauseous. There was a smell, a stank, but you sure as hell couldn’t smell, didn’t fucking bother you.

He crouched right in front of you, his face too close for comfort. How dared you let him so close, after he’d kicked the shit out of you, rather punched, but even so. Was he inspecting his work, as if it was some fine work of art? Fuck it, you wanted to punch him, right now.  
A silent, almost inaudible curse came from his mouth.

Was he cursing you out now? The fucking nerve! But it’d do you no good to hurt him, even if you wanted to. He was giving you the cold shoulder, it would only be appropriate to give him the same attention. “Do to others what you want them to do to you,” which meant you should break some of his teeth, but instead you turned away, to the wall, not facing him.

Must have angered him, because he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. The sudden touch scared you, and you jumped back into the wall. Scanning his face for any emotions, for any indication of mercy, you found none. Having his “killer face” on, you were dead.

“You look bad.”

The first thing he’s said to you since he entered the room five minutes ago.

“Your work, thanks for that.”

His hand slammed into the wall behind you and you cowered. Released of the grip on your chin, you closed your eyes and turned away. Not like you could see much, didn’t want to see yourself crying in the reflection of his eyes.

“My work?” He all but spit in your face, “How dare you blame this on me? You filthy liar.”

Was he purposely trying to make you feel bad? Such a fucking sadist, abusive, son of a bitch, you were going to give him a piece of your mind, even if you’d die.

“Stop…” That was weak, but you hoped it would get across to him. Opening your one good eye, you could see that it hadn’t.

“Do you take pride in having us all for fools? Coming here, doing your little dusting here and there, cooking food, acting like a fucking housewife. Was it fun to play? I wonder… Seems like you had fun seducing everyone here, but not me, you disgust me.”

Ouch, he couldn’t be more wrong, but it still didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt.

“Me not telling you who I was, doesn’t mean I wasn’t showing you who I am. If that even makes sense. I’m not only my past, even if it’s a part of me, I wanted a chance to start over, and this was my chance. It’s what I thought at least.”

Was what you’d wanted to say, it really was. But be it your headache, possible concussion from the bumps, your bruised throat and beat mouth, but it came out entirely different, 

“I disgust you?”

This surely shouldn’t have taken Hanzo by surprise, but it seemed like it did. He looked, hurt? Don’t he dare, not after he fucked up your face and blamed you for everything that’d happened. It’s not your fault that they hadn’t asked you about your past, you’d never lied. Just never told your whole backstory, which was part of the agreement.

“I just wanted to do my job…”

You mumbled, because it was true. That was your original intention, and it still was. You hiccupped, are you going to cry yet again? Seems like it, you’d already cried so much tonight, you were a bit impressed by yourself.

“Really? Then tell me, why you’re constantly flirting with McCree? Such sexual advances is not a part of your job. Even so, you do a horrible job, you’re simply just a disgusting unimportant person that don’t matter to anyone. Worst part is, you pride yourself in what you do.”

Trying to dry your face without hurting it with your right arm was hard. You were angry, but you remembered, your parents would not have let you take this shit, neither would your brother, and right now, making sure your brother is safe, was the most important.

“I’m not here to argue, I’m not here to listen to you telling me everything that’s wrong with me, because trust me. I know. I’ll let you have whatever information you’d like, I don’t care, who I am is not important, right now, my brother comes first.”

You swallowed, drying your tears again.

“I won’t let my brother die, I love him. He’s the reason I live and breathe, I won’t let him die.”

Hanzo grabbed your face, painfully squeezing in your cheeks, making you scream out in pain. He held it tight and pulled your face close to his. 

“How did you know.”

“Know what!”

You tried to yell, but it came out very differently, your face was still squeezed.

“Doesn’t matter, you leave Genji out of this.”

He squeezed harder, right where he’d knocked parts of your teeth out. Confused, and in extreme pain you were close to begging for release, you should have accepted the healing McCree had offered you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, stop hurting me!”

Pushing harder, right on the spot where it hurt the most, you were so close to begging.

“Stop it! Stop hurting me! Don’t hurt me! Stop!”

You realized you were begging but it didn’t help. He was still hurting you, and now his other hand had moved to your broken arm, giving it a tight squeeze.

“I’ll tell you whatever you want just stop, stop!”

But he wasn’t going to.

 

“Please,” A deep breath, “Please, stop hurting me Hanzo.”

It was as if he was a deer in headlight, he looked surprised, and looked at you. He rose, and turned away from you, releasing you from his grip.  
You whimpered, and moved quickly to the other side of the room, as far away from him as possible.

Your teeth were chattering, your body whole body shook, you were terrified. 

“Please don’t hurt me, please.”

The word ‘please’ had seemed so unnatural to you, you never pleaded for your life, you had never before. A gun could be pointed to your face, and you would still not say please.

“Please, you’re scaring me.”

He turned quickly, and you shielded yourself. 

“Please, I’ll do anything! Anything!”

This wasn’t you, this was fear speaking. You couldn’t believe you’d uttered those words. Hiding the best you could, behind your arms, because if you couldn’t see him, he couldn’t see you. You would be invisible.

Yanking your arm, you screamed out in fear. 

“I…” you heard him, but you tried getting out of his grip, every part of you were petrified.  
“I can’t believe you do this to me.”

Was he really blaming you? 

“You put me in this situation.”

He grabbed your face, forcefully, but not to inflict pain.

“You make me so angry. I hate you. You make me so confused.”

“What have I ever done to you? Nothing! I’ve treated you just the same as anyone around here, stop acting like it’s me who’s the damned problem, when the problem clearly lies with you. Make up your mind. Fuck you for trying to blame me, you’re not the victim here, you’re the abuser. I don’t know what the fuck your problem is with me, but that’s your fucking problem, stop being such a fucking child, grow the fuck up Hanzo.”

He raised his hand and you braced for impact, you and your damn mouth. Waiting for a stinging pain in your cheek, was like waiting for, well, no other way to describe it, a slap to the face.

But it never came. Instead Hanzo put the hand over his eyes and forehead. He was shaking, was he laughing at you, you were so fucking dead, sorry brother but if you’re still alive, you’ll have to deal with that hacker on your own.

He continued to shake and the grip on your face moved to your right shoulder, even if you were held firm, it didn’t hurt. He was breathing weird, almost as if he was…

“I-I’m sorry…”

What the literal fuck. 

“I’m so sorry, there’s no way I can excuse my behaviour.”

There was no excuse for how he acted, none, z e r o.

“I hurt you, over and over. Even when you beg me to stop, I just, continue.”

Yes, you had begged, plead for no pain.

“I hate you, I hate you so much.”

No surprise there.

“You fuck me up, you break me, you’re destroying me.”

Now who was the fucking liar?

“Look Hanzo, I don’t care about anything you have to tell me, you can’t take back what you’ve done. You purposely hurt me, you tried to make me into someone I’m not, even when you’re apologising or whatever the fuck you’re doing, you still find ways to insult me. And stop the fucking lies would you, I’m getting tired of it.”

You were mean, you were petty, you hurt all over and you had been so scared. If you looked up stupid in the dictionary, it still wouldn’t even start to describe how stupidly you’d just acted.

He looked at you, tears were streaming down his face. He looked baffled and hurt. 

“You knew?”

“I can tell when people are lying, I’m not as stupid as I may seem.”

“Then why were you playing me for a fool, why didn’t you shut me down?”

Shut him down? Was he asking you to call him out more often?

“You’re not an easy person to fucking talk to, you know. Especially when you’re always insulting me.”

He forced your face close to his, his hot breath tickling your lips. His hair was dishevelled, but you guessed you didn’t look much better, his eyes were staring into your own, if he’d not just tried killing you, and told you that he hated you, you’d say there was something more to this look,

“How long have you known?”

“Known that you’re a liar?”

Literally…? Just a minute ago?

 

 

“Known that I love you.”

 

 

“You’re kidding me right.”

He looked hurt, ashamed even, but you were quite sincere, was this some kind of sick joke? Some new way of psychological torture where the victim gets abused, and then told that their abuser loves them? Well it wasn’t a new fucking method, but at least new to you.

“… Are you not…?”

He shook his head, was he scared? He must know that you wouldn’t say “I love you” back, what the fuck had he expected? He knows he treats you like shit, so why the fuck, how the fuck, dare he say this to you?

“… Are you being serious? Sincere?”

“I love you.”

“You don’t. You don’t love me you know? Because this,” you pointed a hand to your face, “Sure as hell isn’t love.”

He looked away tears streaming, even if you hated to watch people cry, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel sorry for him. A coldness ran across your chest, a slight shiver and a little bit of pain. Okay, so you did feel sorry for him, or did you just feel sorry for yourself for having to shut him down?

“If you love me, why do you hurt me? And let’s just look past what happened tonight, but the literal fact that you have the audacity to stand here and blame me for hurting you? You hurt me even after I begged you to stop. That isn’t love, unhealthy infatuation maybe, but not love.”

Hanzo visibly winced, but every word of yours was justified, you wouldn’t feel guilty about this. Another chill ran across your chest.

“I… Don’t love you back. There, you’ve been shut down… Can you stop treating me like shit now?”

Heartbreak, you’d been right. He was heartbroken earlier. But it wasn’t your fault. 

“I’d like to say we should start fresh, I’m a big believer in second chances, but I’m not sure I can give that to you.”

 

What were you saying? That there was even a slight possibility for you to start over, are you crazy? No way! But, there was just, something about the way he was looking at you, that forced the words out of you.

 

“I can’t… Fuck, Hanzo… I’ll, I’ll try to give you a second chance, I’ll try okay? But you have got to try too?”

 

Tears were still streaming, he still looked heartbroken, but he was at least smiling. Then, well almost, out of nowhere, he hugged you and held you tight.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

He kept repeating it, maybe thinking that you’d actually believe he was sorry right away.

“Actions speak more than words, Hanzo.”

Shouldn’t have said that because as he was sobbing into your form, he started kissing the bruises on your neck, while continuing to repeat his absolutely shit apologies.  
But you were tired.

Too tired to deal with a heartbroken man.

Too tired to stand.

Sitting down, Hanzo followed suit, and continued kissing the bruises on your neck.   
If you’d actually felt good, and weren’t battered and bruised, you would have shoved him off, but you had no strength.  
He was taking advantage of you.

But, the kisses along your neck felt good. It really did, and you’d felt so bad all day.   
The pain was still present, but the sweet butterfly kisses, was like healing, it made you focus entirely on what felt good.

Then it started getting more intense, and even if it felt good, you had to put an end to it.

“Stop.”

This time, he must’ve listened to you, because he stopped and looked at you. As if you were going to say something, maybe even beg him to continue. Sure it felt good, but you had something better.

 

Standards.

 

“Unless you’re going to interrogate me, I suggest you leave.”

 

Had he been any other person, you would have begged them to stay. Keep you warm, keep you safe, let him continue to pleasure you. But he was who he was, he’d hurt you.  
A look of disappointment crossed his features, but it seemed like he understood.

He was about to leave you and your neck, when you remembered, that maybe you could use his lovesickness to your advantage.

“Could you…” he turned, expectantly, “bring some water and medicines? McCree told me he’d come with my medicine but he hasn’t shown. And, unless I’m not allowed to know, perhaps tell me the time?”

“I’ll see what I can do, it’s around 17 in the afternoon…” he was definitely disappointed, I mean who wouldn’t, you were apparently quite the company!  
“Soldier 76 thinks it’s best for you to be left alone for a while, but I think he’s afraid of seeing you. You can be quite intimidating.” 

“Says you, holy fuck man, I’ve never been as scared as I was minutes ago.” You both winced at your words, it’d been a joke, but not a very funny one. “Sorry. But it’s true, you pressed right into where my teeth have been broken,” you opened your mouth to flash him your pearly whites, which was quite hard considering you could barely open your mouth.

“And my broken arm, that was painful as shit.”

“Your arms broken?”

You tried to give of a joking smile, 

“Courtesy of the old man, got quite the grip. At least I think it’s broken, I heard a loud snap? I can’t really go and heal up, did McCree tell Mercy what happened?”

He shook his head, “Good, I’m great at giving advice. At times…” Maybe you should, ask him about Hana? “How’s-”” She’s fine, got a major black eye though, you’ve got quite the punch.” Wait, where you befriending him just now? What the fuck, are you craving company this much?

“Can you tell her I’m sorry? If I don’t get the option? She knocked 76 out, I don’t think it would have ended well if she helped me “escape”, but I might have acted a little too rash… Fight or flight, you know.”

You gave of a shaky laugh, your voice was so hoarse now, for so many reasons, you were amazed that you were able to even talk.

“I get it… 76 shouldn’t have pointed his rifle at you, I would have done almost exactly the same…”

At least he admitted that you weren’t so different,

“But, I have to know, are you not you?”

“Well what do you mean by that?”

The way you were seated, kind of awkwardly, were your back was against the wall and his head on your shoulder, was kind of comfortable?

“There’s a side of you, that you haven’t told us about, that seems crucial as to who you are.”

You thought to yourself, might as well warm up for the actual interrogation, right?  
Besides you were too tired to even care what the fuck happened at this point.

“5-308, my numbers. I was put through special training in the army, sent on missions all the time. Varied, but most of them were kept, on the “down low”.” 

You said while making air quotations,

“They were all different… Some worse than the other… But all in all, I was trained to rescue people, or information, or well, informants. Apparently since they kept sending me, I must’ve done a good job. Even though I managed to get my ass captured several times.”

Letting out a nervous shaky laugh, you hadn’t really noticed Hanzo caressing your broken arm, mostly because you tried not to focus on it. Even if it was because it hurt so much that it had become numb.

“And for my association with Talon… I’ve run into them several times, but never this “Reaper” person, at least not that I can remember,” You could feel him stiffen, but continued, “Most of the times when I ran into Talon we were after the same goal, and we’d end up “helping” each other out. I know they are considered “evil” and all, but their help was golds worth whenever your team would… get separated. I’ve kept no contact with them at all, and as for what happened when I met Reaper a couple weeks ago,”

“You know it’s rude to caress someone’s broken arm while they are trying to explain you something that can mean life or death, right? Very distracting.” 

He gave you a look, but continued stroking your hand,

“Anyways, I was out clubbing, because I’m young, stupid and used to drink. Messed with the wrong guys apparently, got dragged out in the back, then he showed up, killed them and called me pathetic. Then when the cops showed, he disappeared into like this dark cloud? Which was fucking weird. I ran too, what would I tell the cops? Climbed onto a roof a couple blocks down, shit head was waiting for me. He apparently knew my numbers and that I knew Talon “well” or something… Then we had this weird moment, Tracer showed, he used me as a human shield, I bolted and got back to base.”

“What kind of “weird moment”? Was he threatening you?”  
Hanzo was supposed to be the adult, especially considering he was older than you, but here he acted like a fucking jealous child.  
“More like inappropriate touching, kind of?”

He growled, the fucker snarled, and it sounded so fucking animalistic too. The possessive type, that’s why he acted so shitty towards you, always jealous and unable to control you.

“But yea, you know who my brother is?” He shook his head and you told him of your brother’s name, “The infamous programmer, anyways, he’s been after this hacker for months, maybe a year or two even. Sombra, was it? She knows one of my missions, which is not good. If she decides to do anything with that information, like sell it, publish it, I can never live a normal life. Ever again.”

Sighing, you were sort of happy that there was someone in the room with you. Wait, didn’t you fucking puke in this room? Wasn’t he nauseous himself?

“Not only will my government be in a lot of shit, but the world as well. The informants weren’t just for us, but we have all or most of their information. If people think I got 10% of that information, I’d be very valuable.”

“What kind of information?”

“Government secrets generally, but there was also quite a lot about Overwatch. Eh, Old Overwatch… I know some of their names etc. and of something… that they aren’t so proud about…”

“And you didn’t tell us about this before because?”

You looked at him, his head was now in your lap. At least he wasn’t stroking your arm anymore, and this allowed you to play with his hair, which honestly was something that calmed you down. Your right arm was allowed to enjoy itself as you ran your fingers through his silky and soft hair.

“I took this job to put that behind me. Honestly I didn’t even plan on staying, just get enough money to buy my own apartment, and figure out where I wanted to go, and what I’d do there. I was thinking about going back to school? Take a couple classes at a University, work part time at the local bar or coffee shop, or whatever.”

“What kind of classes?”

Twirling some of his hair around your finger, you felt yourself get a bit sick, a lot had changed in the matter of hours. You were really tired, awfully tired. Eyes physically closing on them own kind of tired.

“Well I just need to get a certification, and I’ll officially be a nurse. Then maybe I’d study to become a midwife. I don’t know, something like that. Help people at least.”

“Sounds nice… You know, you’ve really changed your attitude in the matter of minutes, it’s strange.”

“Fuck off.”

He laughed, and you gave off a sleepy smile. He was right though, but the difference between then and now was that you were even more tired.

“When’s the interrogation?”

“When 76 feels like it.”

“Doesn’t that violate several hundred laws? I mean, it’s torture you know? No food, no water, no medication, and I’m fucking half dead here. “

“Can always get you Mercy, but then she’d get mixed into this mess, and from what I understand, that’s not what you wanted. Just say the words and I’ll get her.”

Shaking your head, which you honestly shouldn’t have you closed your eyes.  
You stomach letting off a low rumble, you were pretty hungry…

“We don’t have access to the kitchen, so I can’t really get you food outside of the served meals.”

Right, you were going to starve. You’ve done this before; you can do it again!

 

“At least I’m not naked this time.”

“What?”

Hanzo sat up and you switched places, your head now in his lap. Yawning you tried to come up with a response, but blanked.

“Don’t touch me inappropriately while I try to sleep.”

He choke-coughed, 

“Even if I’ve not… been kind to you, I would never violate you in our sleep.”

 

“Mhm okay, whatever…”

 

“I love you.”

 

“Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hEH rIP YALL
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed it, sorry it took some time to update! Hope people enjoyed the temporary chapter, because it's been taken down (I got several bashed ideas that you can read about, just hmu)  
> I'll try to get an update tomorrow as well!
> 
> As always, you can contact me on Tumblr and look for updates on my Twitter account.  
> If you've got any ideas, or anyone in particular you think Reader should end up with, hmu  
> Or if you wanna show me something cool, Im very available


	15. Interrogation

“Let me just start by saying, if you give us false information or I get any indication that you’re reluctant, this “fun” little device here will activate, and you’ll get electrocuted. It will hurt. Tell me the truth, and you’ll be fine. Something simple to begin with, your name.”

 

Studying him with your gaze was hard, his face was covered, and his voice was as neutral as it could get, still kind of gruff, but held no emotion.  
Losing your voice, your throat had really swelled after you’d gotten choked. Even your cheeks protested.

“Now, what was this I heard, you call yourself “5-308”, what is that?”

“My numbers, got it from the army. It’s also my codename, whenever I was on a mission I’d be referred to by those numbers.”

“Missions? What was your directive?”

“Gathering information. I was to either steal, save or watch over information or informants.”

He turned quiet, and the intimidation he gave off, was scaring you a bit. At least he wasn’t physically hurting you.

“You kept this information from us, why?”

“For starters, I wasn’t allowed to tell by my government. You’re lucky I’m even willing to co-operate at the moment. Secondly, I wanted a fresh start. You have my family information, if I’m not incorrect?”

Okay, he was giving you literally nothing to work with, just continue.

“After the loss of my parents, I guess I must have felt reluctant, or whatever, because all I could think about was that I wanted to live a “normal” life.”

“Choosing to join Overwatch is what you consider a “normal” life?”

Oh he was good, especially when it came to making you feel stupid. You had joined Overwatch thinking you’d get well paid, money can be exchanged for goods and services, and you could be on your merry way. Plus, the job description had seemed similar to your own time schedule on base.

“Not really, it was… A stepping stone? I think I mostly “took” the job because I needed cash, and the fact that it seemed to be somewhat similar to what I did back at base. I was intrigued to even get the offer, I had nowhere else to turn. Moving back to my parent’s place was out of the question, we sold it. My brother is also busy all the time, travelling from place to place, which means I would only make him more stressed.”

Taking a break, you winced a bit, as your left arm brushed against your side. His gaze, which you think had been on your face, must’ve turned, considering he moved his head. Was he watching your arm? Perhaps even examining what he’d damaged.

 

When you woke from your earlier slumber, Hanzo was gone, and so was the puke. You’d been disgusted, but grateful, it smelled kind of lemon-y in the room. Someone had also delivered medicines, water and placed a blanket next to the entrance. You were grateful.

Not so much when Athena had notified you to leave the room, which meant that you’d have to leave the blanket behind. At least the pain killers were doing their job, quite magnificently. 

Walking out into the hallway, aside from the elevator, you’d noticed several doors. On the wall it said in yellow pain, Level F, you were certain you didn’t have that floor, the lowest floor was Level D, where the accommodations were supposed to be.   
Secret floors? Maybe Level F stood for “fucked”, because that’s what you were.

Another door was open, lights on. The interrogation… You quite reluctantly moved towards the open room, certain that you’d pass out. Not feeling much better, even with your meds, you were afraid again.

 

“Moving on, you have an association with Talon. Tell us what kind of relationship you have.”

Referring to “us” to seem bigger, an obvious power move, was he struggling to keep dominant or was it just how he commonly referred to himself? You needed to stop overanalysing, that was for your English lit class only.

“Often we’d clash when on missions. Whenever it seemed like we had the same goal, we’d help each other out, share rations, tend to the sick and hurt, what little information we had, et cetera. Their agents, my soldiers, often died together in battle for our mission. I’ve not got a good or bad relationship to them, they never let me give them a reason to. My team enjoyed their company though. Made them less nervous to know that- “

A jolt of pain shot through your body, and you gasped in horror. There it was, the electrocution. You hadn’t even been lying and here you were, getting fucking bolted.

“What the fuck! I was telling you the truth!”

You wanted to scream, but decided against, because you didn’t want another electrocution. Being fucking stupid was your forte, but even so, you sure as hell wasn’t dumb enough to aggravate the man in front of you any further.

“Working with Talon when you met each other on missions? What kind of fucking excuse is that? I know you worked for them.”

“I did not work for Talon.”

You hadn’t worked for Talon, but maybe you hadn’t been completely truthful either?

“I did… enjoy their company a bit. It was comforting being in a larger group, even if I did feel more exposed. They were also better trained than most of my team, which meant we were safer.”

“And the information? I didn’t peg Talon for someone who shared information or informants.”

“Reluctantly. I often got to the information first, then tried to save whatever I could, then I’d let them have whatever was left. Have probably gotten my ass kicked by them around ten-something times? Just because they thought I had not shared everything. I didn’t share everything, yet I told them whatever I deemed “safe” to tell.”

Definitely getting a look, a good eyeing, you continued,

“And this “Reaper” person, I’m not sure who he is. When he approached me, he seemed to know me, if he’s with Talon, I assume he might be one of the agents I met. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him, I think.”

“You think? Don’t fucking seem like you think, seems completely empty in there.”

Leaning over he started knocking harshly on your head definitely hitting your bump on purpose. It hurt, and you wanted to let out a cry.

“Look, I’m not sure, he knew my numbers, can you get off my back?! I don’t know him!”

Another electric shock pierced through your body and having to grab the table in order not to topple forward in your chair, you screamed. It was more painful than the last.

“Not sure? Apparently that’s a huge fucking lie, now tell me, who is Reyes to you?”

“I’m not sure. I must apparently know him, deep down?”

“Fuck, you’re not a sleeper are you?”

Well yes you did sleep, but you’re not sure what he was referring to.

“… Sleeper?”

Walking around the table, standing uncomfortably close, you felt a drop of sweat from your head fall. Nervous, so fucking nervous.

“You’d have tried to kill me if you had been. Or, maybe you were already done with your little sleep mission? Tell me, where were you when your parents died-“

“I did not kill my fucking parents, and even suggesting it is completely insane! And I’m not a fucking sleeper.”

No electrocution, you knew it, you didn’t kill them. Even if you felt guilty for their death, you knew they actually hadn’t been killed because of you.

“I don’t care for your tone, soldier.”

Still right next to you, the intimidating feel killing your sudden burst confidence.

“If I apparently know this Reaper, Reyes, whatever you call him, there might be a possibility that I’ve just casually run into him. Although I think I’d remember a man wearing a skull mask dressed in black leather, I have been trying to purposely forget a lot of things. Is there anything else you’d like to know? I’ve got all day.”

Scoffing, he walked back to his very own hard, steel chair. An uncomfortable chair for an uncomfortable situation. As he seated himself, you tensed a bit. Another idiotic outrageous statement, you should teach yourself to think before you spoke.

“What else are you keeping from us?”

“I have strong distaste for tomatoes. I’m sorry, I just care for them.”

Slamming the table with force, just as he’d done before, there came big bump in the table. Thank god for durable metal tables or else his tables would have gotten obliterated.

“You know what I’m talking about!”

“Questions about my job, or missions? I can tell you every mission in detail. It’ll take a couple hours though, but I’ll tell you. If you want the information I gathered however, you’d have to contact my brother, he’s got a lot of files- “

“That’s not what I’d like to know.”

“Well, then I’m sure I don’t know what you want to know. If you wanted more information on this Reaper guy, I’m not sure what you think I know. Because I sure as hell don’t remember him.”

“Your age.”

Looking at him you wondered, what the fuck did he mean? Telling him your age, that you were in your mid-twenties, even throwing in your birthday date, where you’d been born and zodiac sign. You knew he knew how old you were.

“This is not making sense.”

That should have come out of your mouth, because you were certain that you were more confused than him. Scoffing, you were going to ask him what he meant. About to ask him, he continued.

“You’re dismissed.”

Wait what? You hadn’t assumed you’d be keeping your job, but you at least expected some gusto, like “Get the fuck out of here, you’re fired!” and getting a whole ass kicking out of the base.

“I’ll go pack my things then, thank you for the job and all, have a nice life.”

You were about to get out of your chair,

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going.”

Wasn’t even a question, just a statement. Blinking confused at him with your left eye, you tried to figure out what the hell he’d meant. Weren’t you dismissed?

“You’re not fucking fired if that’s what you’re thinking. The information I’ve gotten from you has been… good, and I’ve come to the conclusion to letting you stay.”

“B-but, but, I hurt you guys?”

“Nothing we can’t handle; I realize it was… somewhat done in self-defence. Should have taken it slowly, I blame myself for that. You handled the situation, seems like I underestimated you. You’re strong, and at times clever. Not letting the word get out about what happened, plus punching D. Va to not let her get the blame for knocking me out.”

“I have to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because of my brother, if he gets killed by Sombra, because of the information I gathered… I would be crushed. If you’re not going to send anyone, at least release me so I can help him.”

“McCree left base. Woke up Mercy, got himself healed, somehow managed to break into my office and get your files. He’s heading on over there now, and as soon as Hanzo figured out what happened he and Genji, for some reason, left as well.”

“What?”

He didn’t respond. Feeling your heart swell, they were going to keep your brother safe. A sea of relief washed over you, and you felt lightheaded.

“Thank goodness. Now, what did you tell Mercy?”

“That we were on a mission.”

“What kind of fucking excuse am I going to use then, ‘I fell down the stairs’?”

A bottle on the table, he passed it towards you. Staring at the definitely alcoholic beverage you looked at it, then to 76.

“I don’t drink anymore.”

“What other excuse do you want to play that’ll seem believable?”

“I’m on medication, it’ll fuck me up so bad, I refuse.”

“I don’t like having to give you this either soldier, I know you’ve tried quitting. I’ll personally make sure alcohol never gets near you after you do this. I promise.”

You snorted, what good was his promise. He had promised that someone would come for your brother right after you’d finished your talk, he’d lied to you, convinced you even, assured you. But he was a fucking liar.

“What the fuck’s your ‘promise’ worth?”

“Look all you need is a couple of sips, you can blame the intoxication on your meds or whatever the fuck you want, but this,” Pointing to the bottle, “is your ticket to get healed without being questioned. Take it or leave it, I don’t care.”

It was incredibly annoying to know that he was right. Reluctantly you took a hold of the cool, sleek, glass bottle and twisted the cork off. Even before consumption it was making your guts act up. 

“If you don’t keep this promise, I’ll kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Taking a swig from the bottle, the alcohol burned in your mouth. It hurt, but you let it all pour down your throat. After taking a long and hard swig, you put it down. Awful alcohol, you guessed it was a mix of something, vodka and gin mixed together or something.

“That was fucking dreadful, what the fuck was in that?”

“What I could gather… Hana’s done a pretty good job keeping you away from the alcohol, and the alcohol far away from you. Almost everything’s been replaced by water. Ought to thank her, the two of you seem to care a lot for each other.”

Now came the worst part, drinking a mix of strong spirits turned you into a flirty, indecent drunk. Consuming some more, you were chugging it all down. 

“You know you only needed a swig or two, seems like you’re going for the whole bottle, soldier.”

“I deserve it after all the hell you’ve put me through.”

You know, you did, you did deserve some of this. Alcohol, even when you consumed little amounts, always managed to make you feel better, and right now you needed that pick me up. The bitter liquid was forced down your throat, everything, there was a need to consume it all. Gulping down the contents of bottle was difficult, but of course, you managed.

“Damn it Soldier… That was the whole fucking bottle, I told you no.”

“Fuck you and your no, it’s supposed to be believable right? Needed to get smashed, so away it goes.”

“No, you could’ve acted, this is ridiculous.”

Fuck, him, he’d given you the bottle, he was to fucking blame. There was just a little sip left, maybe you should quit? But momma didn’t raise no quitter. Taking the last swig, you’d consumed about 5 or 7 decilitre of mixed liquors, it was a lot to consume within 5 minutes, and both you and your body thought so as your stomach dropped.

“There, all gone. Now take me to fucking Mercy to get myself healed.”

Hearing 76 mutter something along the lines of ‘shouldn’t have given alcohol to an alcoholic’, he rose from his seat and walked around the messed up table. Reaching his gloved hand out to you, you took it, but didn’t exactly drag yourself up. Only holding it.

“Can’t I just sit here for a while? I’ll puke if I try to move now.”

Reseating himself on the table, putting his boot between your thighs on your chair, you leaned forward and held yourself up by his leg. Must’ve looked pretty awkward, but you weren’t one to complain about awkward positions, especially in your situation. Seems like he didn’t complain either, not like he could, you’d whine if he moved his foot.

Feeling the buzz slowly, but quite steadily, move around your body, you stared at the device you’d gotten on your hand. It had electrocuted you twice now, and it made you unable to lie, which meant 76 could take advantage of you. Glad he hadn’t you put your least damaged part of your face on top of his knee. It was hard, but a bit cold. 

Holding your arm up to him, shaking it a bit, to get him to take the device thing off, he complied. Putting it on was easy, but removing it was… difficult, he seemed to struggle as you watched him the best you could while your face was smashed into his kneecap.  
Groaning, he decided to just rip it off. The raw power amazed you, like it always had, and a shiver ran down your spine.

“Hot.” You whispered when he dropped the device he’d ripped apart to the floor.  
“Did you say something?” He was looking at you now, and you could say yes, or no, because you weren’t bothered by the device anymore. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”   
A suggestive response? You were on your way to get tipsier, which was in this case, good.

“If it was of any importance then yes.” While shrugging, you leaned back in your chair, taking him all in. He was good looking, yet intimidating, and wait, he had broken your fucking arm.  
“I said ‘fuck’ because fuck my arms broken and I look like shit.” 

Honestly you looked like shit, and giving off a little groan you rubbed your left eye. Were you getting pissed off? “Let me guess, there’s Vodka in there?” Seeming a bit surprised, he nodded. “Well, fuck then, you’re getting my ‘mean’ drunk tonight. At least I think it’s night? What time is it?” Looking to his wristwatch, you tried reading it yourself, something, something 13. “It’s 23.13.” That wasn’t too bad, you’d been here almost the entire day, hadn’t you?

“You’ve been here for two days.” So that’s why you felt like your bladder would explode any minute, you hadn’t pissed in almost two days. Though it somewhat helped that you hadn’t had any food or water before you left and you spent most of your time in isolation sleeping. Didn’t mean that you suddenly needed to stop peeing.

“Where’s the bathroom? I really need to pee.” Graceful as always, yet he seemed to get the message. “Athena.” The door opened, why couldn’t Athena understand what you wanted, or… Maybe she could and you just had thought of her as a dumb old A. I. “I’m so sorry Athena!” you tried your best to yell, but it wasn’t loud, only croaked.

Using 76 to lift yourself up you wobbled a bit. Putting your arms out to steady yourself, you could feel the dizziness already. “Fuck I’m almost drunk.”   
“Almost.” 76 scoffed while taking a hold of your good arm and started leading you out the room, keeping you from toppling over.

 

The bathroom on Level F was empty and a bit disgusting, and 76 almost didn’t want to leave the room. Must’ve been worried that you couldn’t handle yourself, but he’d almost ran out of the room after you not so subtly suggested that he had a piss fetish. Getting a good laugh out of it, you finished your business and started washing your hands.

There was no soap, no mirror and no towel. You were still in your pyjamas and McCree’s serape. Mercy would definitely find it weird that you weren’t wearing anything warm in the cold ass weather, so you tried your best to make your singlet and shorts look like something you’d actually wear at a night out. 

Brushing your hair with your fingers, adjusting your clothes and brushing off your boots the best you could, you felt ready to get healed. “Athena, pretty please open the door!” You just discovered that there must have been some white rum in there, made you very grateful for everything. Let’s not mention the time you’d had some, tried to take the bus home without any money, and when the old lady behind you told you she’d pay for your bus fare, kissed her smack on her mouth.

Leaning against a wall, like any other cool kid who was secretly smoking their dad’s cigarette behind the school to impress the ladies, stood the angry man. “Waiting for me? You’re quite the gentleman.” You said, and even if it sounded sarcastic to any other ears, you’d meant it sincerely. 

Giving off a grunt, he stretched out his arm which you grabbed, and quite merrily made your way over to the elevator. At least you were feeling merry, not so sure about the grump you were hanging on. “You’re angry.” He looked down at you, “Sorry.” You continued to walk, and entered the elevator. 

Opening the panel, 76 pressed level A, maybe to make sure no one could accidentally in, you thought. But to be frank, you had no idea. “’m not feeling so good…” “Don’t fucking puke.”  
You didn’t puke, but you didn’t exactly continue to stand either. Falling down on your ass, 76 failed to grab you in time, and you, quite painfully, almost felt your ass break.

“Ow, fuck! Why didn’t you grab me?!” Vodka intoxication making a reappearance, “Making my ass hurt, it was the one thing that didn’t fucking hurt, you piece of fuck.”  
By now you were just poking the bear, but you didn’t get yelled at or lectured. You got some help getting to your legs, and you were now physically held up by your boss.

“Thanks Boss, I think you’re a very nice boss, at times. I mean you did choke me, which wasn’t like fucking consensual. When you first grab someone’s neck you have got to make sure you have consent. Just like when you’re having sex, consent is everything. These guy’s tried to make me fuck them, and I told them no, and see what happens? A fucking emo dude puts a bullet through their heads, I mean goddamn – if I hadn’t been fucking freaked out that would have been kind of hot. Someone taking care of me I mean, not the death part, that was not pleasant.”

And there was your third discovery, tequila, made you chatty. Literally talking about all, anything and everything, and nothing, shit would just pour out of your mouth. “But yea fuck, it’s difficult to stand, and you’re kind of touching my tit, and it’s not a pleasant grab, so either stop holding my boobs or start touching them a little more gently-“

What the fuck were you saying, and when had he grabbed your boobs? Didn’t matter, he stopped touching you immediately, and you almost fell down again.  
“Fuck.” You said, almost toppling on forward, but before that happened, he picked you up.

Held in a bridal position, the two of you were finally on Level A and the door gave off a metallic click as it opened slowly. “Try to sound convincing.” He told you, and you were almost about to ask why, when he grabbed your left arm hard, making you scream out in pain.

“Fucking piece of fuck, my fucking arm!”

That was enough to get Angela running out of her lab, clearly concerned by the scream and ruckus. While you were cursing 76s existence, she took a look at you and immediately took on a face of worry. 

“Dear, we were so worried! When we heard you ran off, we assumed you’d never return!”

She looked sad, and a bit angry, but overall worried. As she gestured 76 to get you to a bed. She put on some white, almost see-through, disposable plastic gloves.  
Examining your form, she scrunched her nose, that’d be the alcohol stench. With a little flashlight, she tried to open your right eye, to see if there was any damage there. Seemed like it was only a bit bloodshot and swollen.

Your pupils were dilated thanks to the alcohol, but you managed to follow her finger quite well why she held the lit flashlight. “Open your mouth dear.” Trying your best, she lit into your mouth and scanned for any internal damaged. She winced a bit when she looked at your broken teeth. “A punch?” Talking while she was fingers deep in your mouth wasn’t easy, but you think you managed to get a ‘yes’ out, as she frowned.

She moved on to the bumps on your head, even her light touch made you wince. Ignoring the head, for a bit, she moved to your arm, which was swollen and bruised. As she touched your arm, the pain killers and alcohol couldn’t even keep back your shriek.   
“Holy fuck Angela!”

Ignoring your previous statement, she yet again touched your arm. This time you’d prepared a bit, so instead of screaming, you took deep brash breaths. Gulping for air, you flexed your stomach, keeping your stomach muscles tight as if you were about to get punched.

“Broken.”

‘Yea no shit!’ you almost snapped back at Angela, but kept yourself from it. 

“I’ll be healing you with my Caduceus staff.” She left the room, probably to get whatever the fuck that staff was called. 76 was standing on the side of your bed, almost as if he felt obligated to watch over you. ‘You know… You can fuck right off, get the fuck out. You don’t have to fucking stay you piece of fucking shit. Breaking my goddamn arm, choking the shit out of me, what the fuck man?’ was what you thought, as you glared at him.

Seething with anger, you were tempted to blow up right in his face, but calmed when he took a hold of your right arm.   
“I’m sorry.” Was at least what you think you heard, you weren’t certain, because your mind felt buzzed. 

 

After getting healed with the Caduceus staff, Angela explained that you were fine, but needed rest. ‘No need to tell me twice’ you thought slipping into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit shorter chapter, but considering I might be posting one later tonight, (I wrote it all @school) just take it 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! As always I'm available on Twitter and Tumblr, if you have any suggestions or just wanna talk, feel free to do just so!
> 
>  
> 
> (Also thanks for all the lovely comments, they really do encourage me to write more!!!)


	16. Gold teeth and Hummus

Awakening to someone sobbing into you, is not pleasant. The sheets that were draped over you were hard and stiff, typical for hospital beds. It took some time before you realized that you were in fact at the base, on Level A, you’d gotten healed by Mercy. Moving your arm, to touch whoever had their face on your stomach, you felt a whole bunch of hair.

Silky, soft hair, literally the smoothest hair you’ve ever touched. The person who had this hair definitely knew how to take care of it. Must’ve spent a lot of time using various hair care products, you could learn a thing or two from this person. Caressing the person, they quieted down, occasionally hiccupping. 

Moving a bit to the side, you let your now healed left arm move the sheets. Patting the open spot next to you, and whispering a gentle ‘get in’, the person quickly got into the bed. They smelled good, a faint smell of mint, must’ve been chewing some gum or something.  
Hugging them close, their form being comforted by your form and heavy sighs, they calmed down. Feeling a wet spot forming on your t-shirt, you shushed the person sweetly,

“I’m sorry that I punched you Hana, at the time I thought it was necessary. If you got thrown out of Overwatch for trying to save me, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I’m so sorry.”

Kissing her forehead, you wanted to cry, but instead let out a soft whimper. She held you tighter, squeezing into you as she started sobbing. She was so sweet; how could you have done this to her? You were a god awful person, and you’d deserved all the pain that had been inflicted upon you.

“I don’t care, you… I was so worried, when I woke up, I was so scared they’d dragged you off and killed you or something! Don’t ever do that to me again, I-I don’t want to feel that way ever again.”

Her words were ripping through your chest, pulling at your heartstrings. Even if your arm was healed it still stung as you put it on her back, pulling her closer to you. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, if anything happened to you I… wouldn’t be able to live with myself, Hana, please, could you… ever forgive me? Even if it’s unforgi- “

“Of course I forgive you! Why are you apologizing?! I should be the one, I rushed into this mess without thinking, when I saw you choking it just… My body just acted on itself, I was so worried! I don’t blame you for knocking me out, it saved me and my position! I’m sorry, and very grateful, so thank you.”

This did it for you, tears were gently forming, softly dripping down your cheeks as you kissed Hana’s forehead over and over again, she was so kind, so sweet and so very, very warm. Had you not only had a platonic relationship… 

 

After cuddling, holding each other close, you’d both fallen asleep.   
Hearing a camera go off, and seeing a flash, you groaned, opening your eyes. “What the fuck is going on?” Pushing Hana gently off, you sat up and looked at the three forms in front of you.

Angela was holding a camera, looking very guilty and flustered, as Pharah was giving off a gentle laugh, hidden behind her own hand. Ana was smiling brightly at you, and you could feel a blush forming, almost as if you’d been caught in an awkward position, which you had. 

“If you’re posting that anywhere, I expect a good filter or else I’ll kick your ass Angela.” So grumpy, already giving off threats. Looking at the time, you were late to start your job, around 8 hours late, in two hours was dinner time. Since no one had bothered waking you up, it really wasn’t your fault.

“It’s time to get some food, how’s your… everything?” Ana asked, her motherly concern rubbing off on you. It’d been a good time since you’d been mothered, approximately over half a year ago. Felt good to know someone sounded worried. “Better, Angela, could I have my medicine now? Or do I have to wait until tomorrow or something?”

Giving you a look, you knew she looked restricted, but she left alongside Pharah. Meaning you were left with a sleeping Hana cuddled up close and a mother that seemed calm, too calm. Mother’s that were this calm was actually keeping themselves from blowing up with worry.

 

She sat down on the chair Hana had sat on earlier, but managed to brush some of your greasy hair out of your face on the way down. “Now,” A gentle smile, oh god here it came, “You went out without telling anyone where you’d go, thinking it was real clever, sneaking out for a drink, and then winded up getting so drunk that you couldn’t even walk in here? I have several questions for you but I’ll start with this one here,” She took a deep breath, “What were you thinking?!”

Your face twisted into a cringe and you looked away, feeling very guilty. Wasn’t really what had happened, but you’d be damned if they’d start hating you… Lying, or well, acting was something you’d gotten pretty good at over the years, and without the fun little device that electrocuted you if you lied. But you were certain Ana would know if you lied, worth a shot though.

“I wasn’t thinking, I just, needed to get out. I felt trapped, I’m not able to leave whenever I want and because of this whole “Rapper” or whatever his name was, I have to have an escort whenever I leave it just… Made me feel trapped…”

Wasn’t the best answer, but it was somewhat true, you did feel trapped. Not being able to move in and out on your own felt awful, and even with the company of the members you felt isolated from the world.

“You think that justifies your actions?!” She was big mad, “We were scared half to death! Searched the entire base, only to figure out that you’d left around in the middle of the night, and so thinly clothed! You could have died of hypothermia!”   
She was gesturing to the clothes you’d been wearing, which was now neatly folded on the stand next to your bed. Holding her face with one hand, she took a deep breath.

“Was it really worth it?” You gave off a frown, she knew you’d gotten “beat up”, didn’t she? “In hindsight… Not really, I messed up badly, I’m very sorry for worrying you and everyone here. Shouldn’t have done that, there’s no excuse.” Owning up to it, telling her it was your fault, damn you were good, at least you hoped so.

“Don’t ever do that again, I swear, you’ll give me a heart attack someday… Have you called your mother, she must be worried?” Making a face you gave her a pained look, “I lost both my parents a couple months back. I could call my brother though, I probably should…”   
Now her face held a pained look, “My condolences… I’m sorry.”   
“It’s fine, it’s been pretty rough though, I was clean for about a month and then I just…”

Caressing your hand quite swiftly, she tried to comfort you. Taking a deep shaky breath, you looked at her, her face full of worry, just like your mother would whenever you’d leave for a mission. 

“I had no idea. If you need someone to talk to, whenever I’m at base, just reach out for me. Even if I’m not a therapist, I’m a pretty good listener and very good at giving advice.”

“Yeah mom, what about the last advice you gave me, ‘A daughter who does not share her snacks with her mother, will never get a part of their heritage’, that was a good one.”  
Pharah and Angela had returned with your medicine and a glass of water. Water, the source of all life, it looked so cold, so tasty, delicious cold water!

Ana feigned offence, a hand held at her heart, “Oh how you wound me, I’m your mother! Sharing and taking care of your mother is part of a daughter’s duty!” Pharah laughed, “Really now? Tell that to my bag of chips, that’s not taking care of my mother, it’s unhealthy!” Ana scoffed, “It’s good to eat chips at times, releases endorphins, and that’s good for anyone!”

Their bickering reminded you of you and your mother, and you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Should have appreciated her more, but she knew you loved her… And you knew she loved you, and would want you to live a good, long, happy and healthy life!

“Do you need some help waking Hana up?” You wanted to let her sleep and told Angela so, no need to get up and work for 6 hours right? You needed to let your body recover, there was a lot you needed to process. Thanking Angela for your medicine and cold, magnificent, beautiful, truly wondrous, tasty, precious, amazing water.

“At least let us move her a bit so you can go to the bathroom, your bladder must be exploding!” Ana laughed, and she was correct. The second the water had been consumed, you really needed to go to the bathroom. 

 

Returning to the hospital room, Hana had woken up and was sitting on the edge talking. They seemed to be really into the discussion, and didn’t notice you until you coughed a bit, to confirm your presence in case they were discussing something sensitive.

“Oh, you’re back,” You nodded and walked back to the bed, the way-too-big hospital slippers almost made you slip, your clumsiness almost getting you. However, you managed to get to the bed safely and seated yourself close to Hana.

“We’re talking about what we should do with you, we can’t have you getting into fights.” Pharah said as a matter of fact, you knew she was right, but did she think you were almost completely defenceless? “You know that I know how to fight, right? I was wasted, had I not been, I might’ve been able to get a couple more punches in.” Had you not been cold, tired and fighting against highly skilled people, you could have neutralized a foe easily. 

“Doesn’t matter, we don’t like seeing a member of our team get hurt, especially if it can be avoided,” Pharah continued, “Which is why I’ll be giving you lessons, you need to stay on top of your game. Next time you might not even be able to get home.”  
That was awfully kind, but you couldn’t take up her time any more than you already did and was about to object, when Ana started,

“We’d also like you to see another therapist, since the first one didn’t work out for you. I’ll get you one we use from time to time, any sensitive information will be held a secret, no matter how bad it is. It feels very refreshing to be able to tell them everything.”   
If they could tell that therapist their own dark secrets, maybe you’d be able to as well?

“Fine,” you said, but was quickly got interrupted by Ana, “And we’ll all keep you away from alcohol. We know full and well you’re not the only one who’ll need that, so there’ll be a zero tolerance policy of the contents on base. No alcohol on base. Outside consumption only.”  
You understood, but still wanted to know who the therapist was.

“We’ll also make sure that you won’t need an escort to leave base, that’s just ridiculous, if you can survive thugs when you’re shitfaced, you can obviously fend for yourself.” Ana smacked Pharah on her arm, apparently she didn’t like hearing her daughter swear.

“But we can still join you if you’d like dear!” Angela smiled sweetly at you, hinting to you that she actually just wanted to hang out and didn’t have a better way of phrasing it.  
“Of course, but I do have one question, who’ll be my therapist?”

Ana gave off a short laugh, “Well, you already know him!” You did? “Zenyatta’s the greatest listener and he’s almost always available if you need him to be. Especially now that Genji’s on a mission. He won’t tell on you, and he’s got this calming aura around him which really helps, haven’t you noticed?”   
You kind of had? You’d blamed it on the fact that you were tired and that maybe you actually were good at meditating, but seems like it wasn’t the only case then…

“Uhm… Fine.” They all seemed relieved, “Wonderful! But I think we should get you some food, have you even eaten the last couple of days?”   
Not really, was it showing already? “Your bags get a bit more present when you don’t get your food, but maybe you should shower first, you smell!” 

“Thanks Hana!” You laughed and blew at her face, she gave off a face of clear disgust, “That’s so freaking nasty! I’ll have to get you your toothbrush as well!”  
Oh shit your teeth! “Can we head on over to a dentist or something? I need to get my teeth fixed, considering they got so badly chipped.”

“We’re taking you after your shower, Hana, would you please get them some clothes dear?” Angela didn’t need to tell her twice as she practically ran out of the room, smacking right into the door because it took too long to open. Pharah gave off a snarky laugh and Ana glared at her. 

“Angela, isn’t my arm going to have to be in a cast or something? I mean I did break it right?” You asked taking a look at your left arm, a bit confused considering you thought it was broken, “On closer inspection, it was only a bit fractured dear, my staff took care of it.” While you wished for a healing magic stick yourself, you moved quickly towards the bathroom, you deserved a hot shower.

 

As always, a shower made you feel better.   
Washing away all the dirt, the foaming scum from the shampoo.  
All of it went down the drain, and so did bad thoughts and vibes.  
Hot showers certainly must feel better than sex, right?

 

Grabbing a fluffy white towel, you dried yourself off and brushed through your hair with your fingers. You were in the need of a hair brush, even your fingers couldn’t fix your messy mop. As if your prayers had been answered, it seemed Hana had brought in your things, while you were in the shower. Neatly displayed right next to the sink so it wouldn’t get wet or dirty. Not only had she brought you clothes to wear, but also deodorant, some perfume and a brush. She deserved every praise you were going to give her.

She’d even gotten you your favourite underwear! Slipping on the red lacy hipster and matching bra, you were really feeling yourself. No one wore red as often as they should, really makes your skin pop! It’s a beautiful colour, even if you didn’t have a favourite.   
The outfit itself was simple, some old boyfriend jeans, that you’d honestly forgotten that you had, and a white singlet with a little Overwatch logo on your left boob. 

The boots seemed to have been polished too, not very well, mind you, but it was the thought that counted. Putting on some black socks, lacing up your boots, you noticed another piece of clothing. The serape! Seemed like it was washed and cleaned too, because it didn’t smell like McCree anymore, just a distant floral scent.

The smell wasn’t as comforting anymore, but at least you knew it was clean. It was nice, the red matched your underwear. Wait, was this some kind of hint? You sure as hell hoped not, you weren’t ready for any more loving after what was going on with Hanzo. 

Honestly? It was nice to know you were still appealing, but you weren’t really into romancing anyone at the moment. Right now your focus needed to be on yourself, not on anyone else but you, if you could help it.

 

True be their words, the second you stepped out of the bathroom doors, you were taken to an 24/7 emergency dental hospital. It gave off a pricey feel, it wouldn’t have been anything you could have afforded, but with Overwatch supporting you economically, the treatment was definitely within your price range.

A dentist, two nurses and an orthodontist worked side by side to treat you, giving you the best damned hospital service you’d ever gotten. They calmed you down, talked to you, one of the nurses told several jokes, which made it a bit harder for the dentist to get the work in your mouth done, because you were laughing. The anaesthesia was giving a tingling pleasant feel; your tongue was completely numb.

“Now, your teeth were too damaged to salvage, we had to remove them, which means you’re getting a replacement. Most people choose the basic “tooth” look, but we know some clients prefer golden teeth, so we have to ask what kind of teeth replacement you’d like.”

Hm, would gold teeth work for you? Ana looked horrified at you, that you were even considering it seemed to scare her. Her reaction would have been similar to your mothers, which meant, no gold teeth today.   
“Just give me the basics, the next tooth will definitely be gold though.”   
Pharah noticed her mother’s distress, and gave off a short laugh, until she noticed her glare.

 

“You shouldn’t eat too hot or cold food for the first two weeks, try sticking to something that’s got a natural room temperature. No coffee, tea, alcohol, soda, stick to water and milk. I’d recommend not eating anything hard as well, but mushy food. There’s a list of what you can and cannot eat, and several recipes in the pamphlet,” 

Right, rich people hospital,

“And of course we’ll schedule a check-up for next week. We need to see how it’s adjusting, then we’ll hook you up with one of our specialized dentists who’ll make sure that you’ll get the best care possible, now, how’s Thursday at 12. Sound?”

Sharing a look with Ana, your makeshift mother, she nodded, and you voiced a ‘yes’, even though you should have said something along the lines of ‘That time and date sounds just fine, I will put it in my calendar’. Talking to doctors made you a bit nervous, or was it rather the fact that you’d have to schedule a meeting with a stranger? Seemed like the latter.

 

“I see you didn’t go for the gold teeth?” giving off a jokingly glare towards Hana, she grinned, looking a whole lot better than she had earlier. “You wanted me to? I can probably go back?” Ana interjected, “No, you already got your teeth messed up, why would you mess them up even more?”   
“Because it’d look cool?” “It would look tacky.” Couldn’t argue with that.

“Was it fun waiting here while they fixed my teeth?” You asked as you walked next to Hana, “Can’t say it was a lot of fun, waiting rooms turn me into a nervous wreck…” She looked away, a hurt look adorned her face. Must have lost someone she cared about, or something. You wouldn’t pry, you weren’t fond of waiting rooms either.

“Where are we going now?” You asked, looking at the other four. “Aren’t we going back to base?” Angela asked, but you had other ideas, something to thank them for waiting with you, and celebrate the fact that you’d gotten your teeth fixed.  
“I was thinking that I could buy treat you all to some take-out? Now I know it’s not healthy, but I know a place.”

“Is it far?” Hana asked, opening up the hospital doors, the red exit sign above blinking a bit. As you’d just gotten outside a man rushed in with what you imagine must be his partner, they were holding a puppy in one arm and ice in the other, put on the man’s face. Interesting enough, you wanted to pry, but instead focused on the flower bed in front of the hospital.

“I’m not sure I remember the way from here, I’ll just look up where to go. It’s kind of shabby looking as well, but it’s really clean, so don’t worry. They sell a huge variety of vegetarian dishes,” Seems like they all shared a look, even in the mid 2070s vegetarians still got ‘the look’, “I’m not vegetarian, I just feel like getting some hummus, naan and salad is all…”

“You know I’m middle eastern right?” Ana asked giving you another look, “Yes, but you don’t have access to the kitchen.” Which was true, but if they had asked you to let them in, you wouldn’t exactly stand in their way as much as just casually mentioning that it’s off limits.   
“Fine then, but you must let me cook for you some time! Maybe after you can eat a bit spicier food, considering you have to let your teeth heal up.”

While giving off a nod, you took out your phone and started looking at the map. You were correct, you had no idea how to get from point A to point B. Maybe you should just hail a cab? Stretching your arm out and yelling ‘Taxi!’, just like you’d seen people do in the movies, sure enough a cab pulled right up. 

Forgetting that you were 5 people and that most cars only had 5 seats, meant that there wasn’t enough space for one of you. Fuck, great job! But as you mentally scolded yourself, you noticed it was a vehicle on the bigger side, so maybe there was still hope.

The omnic who stepped out of the car seemed a bit familiar, and you felt like you’d met him before. He opened the door, and it was just your luck that it was a 6-seater. Thank heavens, you didn’t feel like walking half a mile or however far away it was. 

Riding shotgun, you made sure to take a look behind, just to check that everyone was wearing seatbelts. The omnic got back in the car and you were about to tell him the place you needed to go before you noticed who the omnic really was. It was the classic music man from the night you’d “met” with that Reaper man. 

Seemed like he recognized you as well, as he all but shouted, “It’s you! Get out of my car!”   
At that everyone seemed confused, but you quickly unbuckled and stepped out of the car.   
“Please, I don’t want any more trouble with him, I’m sorry!”

He seemed to be in distress and panic, and drove off quickly. Everyone but you seemed confused and surprised at what had happened. You weren’t as surprised, even if he had spooked you a bit. ‘Him’… Seemed like Reaper, or ‘Reyes’ as 76 had called him, had met with this omnic after he’d driven you home. From the panicked omnic, you could tell that it hadn’t gone well.

“That was… certainly something else. Do you want to walk a couple blocks or should we just head back to base? There’s a McD around here somewhere according to my map, but I can probably whip something up if you’d like something less greasy?” You asked, trying to direct their attention to something else.

“Who’s he?” Ana asked. You felt royally fucked, and sharing a look with Hana, it seemed like she knew who it was as well. Your little look towards Hana hadn’t gone unnoticed, but instead of focusing on getting an answer out of you, she would quite possible try to get one out of her.

“Hana dear, who’s ‘he’?” It was like she was keeping herself from exploding. Her face turned red, her lip quivered and her eyes went all over the place to not look at Ana. “My ex.” Well, fuck, apparently you needed to make up a whole new person now, a story and make it fucking believable.

“Your ex?” Pharah asked, but Ana was still looking at Hana, you needed to save her. “My ex, yes.” Walking over to Hana, you put an arm around her, trying to calm her while you continued this lie. “Yes, he was… Not the best person, to say the least… We went on like, three dates and got real close and intimate fast. I broke it off about 2 months back, we’d only been dating for like a month and two weeks. Then I don’t know what happened, but he got pretty fucked up and started trying to find me, and since he didn’t know where I lived, he went to the bar I usually started hanging out at. Before I quit alcohol I went to this bar, got into a heated discussion and took a cab home. Must’ve provoked him enough to find my cab driver?” 

Hoping this bullshit sounded believable, and trying your best to look sad, even though you weren’t, it seemed like they had bought it. For now. “Well, I’ll say… Dating people this day and age is so tiring, everyone’s a freak. Good to know that you broke it off before it got too out of hand, but I still feel like kicking this boy’s ass.” Interrupting Ana’s motherly speech, you said “I don’t want anything to do with him, if he’s stalking me, threatening cab drivers, then that’s his issue. Not mine. So you don’t need to do anything, and if he decides to hurt me, it will be my issue. Don’t worry, I’ll kick his ass if needed.”  
Still didn’t seem like it calmed her down, but at least she wasn’t nagging you. 

 

Somehow you’d managed to find yourself at the front of a supermarket, and went inside. Guess you would be cooking after all tonight. The cool air conditioned air hit your toothy smile like a truck, and you winced. No smiling when it’s cold, you got it!

This seemed to be one of the older supermarkets, one where you had to use a pad to get things. Even though all the tablets were sanitized, you still felt a bit disgusted as you pressed for various and different items, even letting Ana find some items for herself.   
When you’d finished pressing the items on the tablet, you asked the rest if they wanted anything.

They’d agreed to a little bit of snacks, but knowing that the “snacks-lust” as you called it, would probably hit the whole base if they caught a whiff of just a bit, you bought a ton of different ones. The rest seemed a bit horrified at the amount, but you assured them it would be enough.

You’d finished pressing for all the ingredients and scanned your card against the screen. Walking towards the counter you waited patiently to be handed the bags that were going to be filled with the food. The omnic clerk, dressed in the store’s uniform took your tablet and handed you all the bags.

Even if it was an old system that had started just before the omnic war, but hadn’t really remained after, finding it a bit inefficient and forcing people out of jobs.   
Creating jobs had been important, which meant getting an education had been gold worth and being a teacher meant that you’d be making the gold.

 

“You mean we can come inside? Thought you said kitchen was off limits?” Well you had, but you didn’t mind the company and you could keep a close eye on them. As the door opened, you looked back to Angela, who had been staring at you. She seemed a bit anxious, maybe she was recalling the position she’d found you in? Would make you uncomfortable as well, but you’d kind of forced the fear far down. Stepped on it like a bug.

“Yes, you may enter, as long as you don’t break anything.” You gave off a wink and stepped inside. One of the other omnic chefs, Sicilia, like the island outside of Italy, was cleaning some pots and pans. “Hey Sicilia, I’ll be cooking a bit, I can take care of the cleaning, so you can leave early.” Sicilia looked grateful, even without a facial expression. With omnics it was little gestures, such as a head turn, a finger move, or with some even a slight colour switch from their sensors.

“Thank you so much, but are you sure that it’s fine? There’s quite a bit to clean, I don’t have anywhere I need to be really, so I can assist if you’d like?” Declining their kind offer and telling them not to strain themselves for you, you gave them a pat on their back and sent them out of the kitchen. 

“We got the kitchen to ourselves now, so Ana,” Ana perked up and you started placing the groceries on the counter, “If you’d like to cook, now’s the time.” You didn’t need to tell her twice as she swiftly headed towards the ingredients. Pointing to the shelves, drawers and cabinets, you told her where to find the different tools. 

Sicilia had cleaned all the utensils, plates, dishes, bowls, cutting boards, knives and glasses, and was half way through finishing a big pot, which you started cleaning yourself. Letting Ana have her way as she started commanding her daughter to cut vegetables, you gave off a short laugh and scrubbed away.

Even if you worked as a groundskeeper, maid, or whatever, you still didn’t particularly enjoy cleaning out the gunk that was left in the sink after washing the pots and pans. Something about touching mush, old food, just made you want to puke. You’d think such a facility would have a high tech washing system, but no. You just had to do it by hand, even if you could “technically” place them into the washing machine as well. It just didn’t do as good a job.

You felt somewhat surprised about how quickly Ana had adjusted to the kitchen, it usually took you some time to find everything and a station to do specific task, but here she was commanding the gang around, except for Angela who was drinking a glass of water and giggled every now and then at the impressive sight in front of her.

This was. This was very nice, it reminded you of your family yet again, but also back on base, whenever the supervising cook would command the soldiers with kitchen duty around. Fun to watch, but very stressing to do. Since you were on cleaning duty you were piling up things in the industrial “restaurant” washing machines. They took 5 minutes to do a normal dish washers 1-hour job. 

The sight in front of you was exciting, fun, and happy? And it did make you feel good, like there was a black hole in your stomach roaming around, a weird tightness in the sternum, and a tingling feel in the back of your throat. Strangest feeling you’ve ever gotten, but it felt kind of good?

“So, we know you were in the army, but what did you do there?” Snapping out of your happy trance, you looked towards Pharah who had asked you the question. She looked very focused on cutting some vegetables, maybe to use for a snacks dip? “I was a superior officer, I trained new recruits.” Seemed like she wasn’t completely satisfied with your answer and continued to pry.

“Just a superior officer? Then I want to know how you got to join our team.”  
Was she… angry? You stopped cleaning the pot and started drying it with a towel.   
“’Just a superior officer’ what do you mean? That it’s a low rank? That I’m not worthy to be here?”

Goodness, you sounded a bit offended. Honestly? You were offended, even if that was the only ‘on-record’ title you’d ever gotten it was still pretty good, wasn’t it?  
“We had candidates who were officers, corporals, admirals, some generals even. So yes, just a superior officer.” Really? Well, good to know that you were ‘incompetent’ in comparison then.

“I got it because I’m ‘average’.” You started, which seemed to catch people’s attention, “supposed not to get in your way, only work from the shadows. Which I managed just fine a couple months back, until well, it’s kind of your fault.” Pointing to Hana she tried her best to look offended, “You guys are just too damn nice!” What a great answer! Pharah had to be satisfied with that.

“Maybe it’s because she’s hot?” Fuck, if you’d had water you would have spit it all out on the ground, “Mom you can’t just say such things!” Pharah sputtered, looking more flushed than you. “Hm, plausible” You mused, a finger tapping your chin. “But honestly, I think it’s because I was nothing special that I got hired, wanted to keep me as much in the background as possible. At least that’s what I told Morrison when he called me in for an interview.”

Angela dropped her glass, the pieces of glass and water flying everywhere. Hana was sputtering unintelligible words, looking quite horrified. Pharah was standing completely still, just staring at you with a n intense gaze. Ana was much like her daughter, staring at you, only she was smiling, clearly amused. “Oh my god, Angela are you okay?”

“Morrison?!”

They all but screamed at you, and you took a step back, almost dropping the pot you were almost finished drying. “What? He asked me to-”” You slept with him didn’t you!” Ana was beaming, “What – no I,” “When did this happen dear! And please tell me you used protection!” This was getting out of hand, soon she’d probably start asking how he was in bed, and that was just something you couldn’t deal with.

Especially considering since he’d almost killed you. By choking you. And he was fucking scary. “It all makes sense now!” Angela screamed at you, stepping over the glass. You were very thankful that everyone was wearing shoes. “What makes sense?”   
“The way he looks at you! He can’t take his eyes off of you, and don’t think I didn’t noticed what happened at the meeting with all of us, he was undressing you with his eyes! That he carried you bridal style into the- “

“No.”

Thanks Hana, end this madness. “She’s not into that old fart, isn’t it obvious?” “You couldn’t be more right Hana, thank you-”” She loves Genji! Heck, maybe even Lucio!”  
Where was that coming from? Genji? Last time you’d even caught sight of him was when you’d called him out, shit, you hadn’t even apologised to him or the two other guys who were on their way to save your brother from Sombra. This was giving you a headache.

“Why Genji? I’ve never seen them together? Though yes, maybe Lucio, they’d be adorable together, the height difference would be so sweet!” Angela cut in. It was true, you were taller than Lucio, and you didn’t actually mind dating someone shorter than you, or even taller than you. Height didn’t matter, as long as you loved them. 

“I think she should date McCree, they get all lovey-dovey when they see each other, look at her, she’s even wearing his serape! I’ve never seen anyone but him wear his serape! Hell, I’ve never even seen him take it off!” Pharah yelled, and gestured to the serape you were currently wearing. “Well, if I may cut in-”” She’d be good with Hanzo,” Okay, who said that? Looking to Ana, you were two seconds away from cutting her off,

“They hate each other though.” You grimaced a bit, not exactly? “Oh pish posh, that fire is good, sparks things up. And if anyone can get Hanzo off his high horse it’s her, did you hear what she yelled at him?” Fuck, you didn’t want to deal with this right now, maybe you should tune out?

Which is exactly what you did. You heard a couple names being tossed here and there, and you finished washing, scrubbing, rinsing and drying all the dirty dishes and put them where they belonged. Avoiding stepping in the glass, you started cleaning Angela’s mess. However, your little ‘mind vacation’ was interrupted by a snap of fingers.

“Did you hear what I just asked?” 

“Pardon?” 

“Are you gay?” 

Well, you weren’t a lesbian if that’s what she wanted to know, more or less bisexual?  
“I don’t really have a preference when it comes to genders, if I like someone I just like them, just depends on the person I guess? I have dated a woman and like three men?” Pharah all but threw her arms out and waved them about, “See mom?! What did I tell you! I know what I saw, she was definitely eyeing Zarya!” Oh shit, your secret attraction to the beautiful goddess had been discovered!

“Everyone finds her hot, how can you not?” Then they continued to talk about how hot Zarya looked with her defined muscles, and you wanted to sink into the ground. Seems like they’d forgotten about your little ‘Morrison’ slip up, which was good, because that was the second time you’d been accused of sleeping with him. Was that name like a code for ‘I have slept with this man’ or something?

“Okay but what about the Junkers?” This caused everyone to whip their head towards Hana, who’d apparently voiced an unpopular opinion. “You cook food for them almost every day, even if you don’t have to, and you put a whole lot of effort into it too! You know them better than any of the other guys here on base!” The realization hit you like a train, you did. You did know them better than any other guy on base, even better than Lucio. 

“You’re… correct? I talk to them at least 3 times a day for about an hour and a half, each meal.” Huh, strange, maybe it was because they made you feel so naturally comfortable?  
“If anything, why does my love life interest you?” Trying to get them to move on was difficult and you had to find something new to talk about, but hey at least maybe you’d know the reason why they started talking about your relationships. 

“You’re singel and in your mid-twenties! It’s time to find a hubby, someone that makes you feel good.” Ana stated and you made a face, you didn’t want to find a ‘hubby’, you honestly just wanted to eat good food and see where that took you. If it made you get 30 cats, dogs or whatever, maybe lizards, then so be it. 

“I’m not going to collectively seek someone out, I’m not ready to date someone again, not after…” Shit, had you given the guy a name or whatever? You didn’t remember, should you just stop talking and pretend that you were too hurt to mention the fake dude by name? Fine, that was your plan. “So yeah, I want to not focus on romance, just on getting better.”

Everyone gave off a short nod, seeming satisfied with your answer. “I really think you should go on a couple of dates though, a date could never hurt right?” Not entirely true, you’d definitely had some pretty bad first dates in the past. How could you know that online dating meant casual hook-up? You hadn’t and had been surprised when they’d started undressing before dinner.

“You just set them up, and I’ll be there.” You shrugged taking some of the finished foods out of the kitchen, putting them on display on a table in the mess hall. It looked absolutely scrumptious. Hana joined you with a couple plates and utensils. Returning to the kitchen you saw the last dish getting it’s finishing touches. It was cooked lamb in some kind of sauce that smelled faintly of cinnamon, along with some rice, hummus, fresh veggies, naan and eggplant dip with pomegranates. Unfortunately, you’d only be able to eat naan bread and hummus, ‘thank you teeth’, even if you were looking forward to it.

 

Although the evening hadn’t quite gone as planned, because honestly, when would your evenings ever go as planned? It had been nice. You’d enjoyed some good food, even if you weren’t able to eat everything, and winded up emptying the bowl of hummus.

Just before you’d parted with them, because you honestly needed sleep and you were probably far behind on your cleaning schedule, Hana had grabbed you and pulled you in for a warm hug. This was nice, you could get used to more evenings like this.   
“Good night!” You left for you room, this was, different, or well familiar. Which was unusual? You missed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended this in such an unusually sweet way, prepare yourselves for the next chapter, because honestly, Reader's about to get a phone call.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter, as always I'm available on Tumblr and Twitter, and comments are very appreciated (hoo boy you all are so very nice!)
> 
> If there's any wishes or suggestions, just leave a comment !!


	17. Early calls, messy pancakes

A familiar ringtone and a bright light lit up your room.  
Your phone had gone off, but honestly, you didn’t even feel like taking it. Whoever was calling you had to fucking wait, especially when it’s like… Something, you wouldn’t check your phone. But it was fucking early.

Wait, a phone call? Early in the morning? Oh my god, this could only mean one fucking thing. Shooting up, similar to the rocket which had fired Sputnik the very first satellite into space during the first Cold War, and reached for your phone, almost pushing it out of your bed.  
Imagine if you had to sleep next to a radiation filled phone, just like back in the good ol’ 00s, that would have been worrying, thank goodness for that. 

You tried your best to take the call, and almost pressed end call. With a tired, yet frightened voice, you answered,  
“Yes?” Should have looked at the caller ID, but who in their right mind bothered to? Maybe like everyone who had a phone? Call you old fashioned, but you preferred not knowing, at times

“Good morning lil sis, you slept good?” You knew there was something that you had forgotten, calling your brother, which was very bad that you had forgotten. “Athena light’s on please. “You said, reseating yourself in bed, “Have they shown up? Any news on the hacker? by the way her names Sombra. And I’ve gotten new teeth because one of my bosses who’s infatuated with me broke two.” Was what you wanted to say, but you turned into a happy weeping mess, like a lift had been lifted off your shoulders, it was so good to hear your brother’s voice.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I know I’m crying, it’s just so good to hear your voice, I expected the worst here” You brother gave off a short laugh, “Takes more than one hacker to off me you know, besides, your support has shown up.” They had? How had they known where in the world to find your brother, hell you didn’t even know where to find him and you were his little sister.

But you weren’t going to dwell on it, you were going to focus on the happiness. “I’m so fucking happy to hear your voice, I’ve been so worried, I got in trouble with my bosses, like big trouble,” You were definitely venting right now, but damn if that didn’t feel good, “I’d ask you where you are but I know you can’t tell, but holy fuck I just, I’ve missed you so bad, I thought this call was going to be one of those ‘your brother was found dead in Miami’ things, so holy fuck this a huge relief!”

“You got in trouble? You know I could probably-” You cut your brother off, “A story for another time, right now I just want to know that you’re safe.” Had this conversation happened in person, he would have glared at you for cutting him off, but it wasn’t and it was to remind him that you might not have all the time in the world.

“Right as always lil sis. They take great care of me, I feel like royalty, even with all their damn questions.” Questions? “Questions?” You could hear some shuffling, was he trying to muffle your conversation? “Yes, they’re asking extensive questions about you, I think I’ve told your life story like 5 times already, feel amazed at my knowledge upon you life!”

“I swear, if you tell them about any sensitive information, like the fucking time in London,” Where you’d projectile vomited all across the subway after eating some expired cheese, “Or the time in Mexico,” The two of you, and a group of close friends, had travelled to Acapulco for a week, while your parents had been on a three week ‘honeymoon’-like vacation, gotten fucking wasted and taken a night swim with the dolphins at the sea world park, “Or anything similar, I’ll have to come and personally kick your ass.”

“Honestly, I’d forgotten about those two, hey- gunman!” Was he referring to McCree, god you could not let him know! “I swear on all that is my fucking being, do not tell him that, please, I already sent you support, I worked hard! And this is the thanks I get?!”  
You could hear a couple voices in the background, kind of scurry, but you definitely heard your brothers voice telling them something.

“Don’t you fucking dare! I’ll fucking send them back home, I swear on it! Don’t you dare!”  
“Fine.” That was the confirmation you needed, but you were still a bit pissed off, “Anyways, you are safe right?” “Yes.” “Good.” He was using shorter sentences, either he was stressed about something, most likely your ‘support’ or there was something going on.

“You sure?” The good old brotherly scoff, he was safe, “Of course, I could probably have managed on my own even, but we’re discussing moving to an even safer place, somewhere close to you.” Well that’s good right?

“But they need to talk to their boss,” hearing a ‘hey’ in the background, they sure as hell didn’t like the word “boss”, which was strange considering you assumed some of them would surely love it. “Don’t have to get snarky bro, they are only there because they want to, don’t even get paid.” This made you brother shut up, “So that’s why they are asking such questions! Here I was thinking they were sent by your ‘Over-boss’” Was that a fucking pun?!  
“But they are really just here because they find you so damn attractive!” He laughed.

Shit. OH shit. Was that the sole reason they had even gone there? “Hm? I’m being kindly informed that it’s not the case, that it’s to ‘preserve information’, but why did you get so jumpy when I mentioned my sis name? I think you like her!” He wasn’t even talking to you, and still managed to embarrass you. Good brothering.

“Ow, fuck!” Hearing some noises in the background, there was definitely movement, seemed like he was getting payback, “Shit, sis, they don’t play a-fucking-around, I was smacked right onto the ground, thought I was going to die!” Giving off a snarky laugh you were about to say ‘I told you so’ or ‘that’s what you get’, but instead continued talking.

“The lines secure right?” The noise your brother gave off, like a mix between and mm and a hum, seemed like he was unsure, “Fuck it then, just wanted to tell you some shit, but I guess I’ll have to go with the neutral shit then?”

“So, I’ve been… having not such a good time lately, and I imagine you haven’t either. We’ve both been really busy with our own shit too, but I think it’d be good for us to meet up soon and have a long talk. We kind of just moved on so fast after we lost mom and dad. I think-“  
“Yes, god yes, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it for a long time, I’ve just felt like shit, and even though I know you’re not the smartest in the world,” Mean, but fair.” But it’d be really good to talk to you, I took up fucking smoking sis, fucking disgusting!” Ew, yea, even if there existed ones that smelled pretty freaking good, you think he was referring to the good old tar cigarettes. 

“The psychologist back at base had a freaking field day trying to get a word of concern out of me, kept it short and snappy though. But let’s not focus on me, I know you told me some pretty disturbing things back in Japan, pretty concerning things. Did you seek out a therapist like I recommended?” Well not because he had recommended it, but yes you had, “Yes, but uhm… didn’t go very well, I quit, but I did start some amazing new pills.”

“Zoloft?” Heh, how did he always know? “Yes.” “it’s exactly what the psychologist back at base recommended, are they any good?” They were, in fact, very good. Anything that could get you through the day was, “I guess, been pretty sleepy, and a bit nauseous, but the side effects have been minor,” You were about to continue, but your brother managed to cut you off, 

“Doesn’t it also reduce your libido? Hear most people on it don’t really feel the ‘need’, y’know. Because that’d make sense as to why you haven’t jumped some of these guy’s bones,” He always knew how to embarrass you didn’t he! “Well, yes, but I don’t see how any of that matters.”

“Because I can say for sure one of these guys would fit your exact taste, I mean, I know all your preferences.” So he wasn’t even trying to embarrass you, he was just teasing the guys? Fine then two could play that game, so you spoke loudly, almost hinting to your brother to turn up the volume. 

“Stop you’re embarrassing me!” Wow, that sounded fucking fake, you hoped no one but your brother got that part, “Who I want to fuck is none of your business bro!” But, here came the ‘but’, and you could hear some shuffling background noises.

“But, there is someone I’m thinking about banging, because honestly? They are so damn hot, I mean, I could send you one of the pictures I’ve taken,” “Oh sneaky lil sis, taking pictures of unsuspecting people.” He tsk’ed you, “But yes I’d very much like to see who’s caught your attention.”

“Good morning guys, you hear me okay?” So damn sneaky, you and your brother were masters at teasing people. You heard a laugh, your brother, and a ‘yes’, quite possibly McCree. “Take care of my brother okay? I love him, and honestly I can’t thank you guys enough, I mean holy fuck, I owe you guys big time!”

Imagining the horrors of what kind of favours you’d have to do pull to be even, would get you nowhere. But honestly if they told you to kill a man, you probably fucking would. They could have anything they wanted, and you were afraid of even thinking about it, but you owed it to them.  
Anything they asked, they’d get, no matter how difficult it’d be to accomplish.  
“But yes, when we meet up again, we should talk. For now, I’ll just worry about staying alive, and answering all these damned questions about you sis, I mean it’s getting pretty fucking weird, which reminds me… What’s your favourite colour?”  
“Don’t got one.” That settled that, you were running out of themes to talk about, that were safe to talk about.

“You should probably get some sleep though sis, considering its uh, early. Love you, miss you, have a fun day at work and let’s meet up soon!” Was he worrying about you? He usually didn’t show it, but who knows, maybe he’d changed even more than you? “Yes, you too, wherever you are. Hydrate as well! Love you, miss you and yes, let’s see each other soon!”

That settled that, and he hung up. It was good to hear his voice, but now you couldn’t stop thinking about what kind of favours they might ask of you. Hopefully nothing too bad…  
Shifting in your bed, you put your head back down on your pillow, and put your phone next to you. “Athena, please turn off the lights, and let me know what time it is. Thank you”   
Doing exactly that you were told it was 4:27 in the morning, too damn early to wake up, which meant sleep is what you needed.

 

You hadn’t gotten any sleep. It’d winded up with you listening to some music on your phone while you tried your best to relax and unwind. Avoiding upsetting thoughts like a champ, only trying to think about what you’d do all day, making a list, checking it twice. You also found yourself thinking about what to cook for breakfast as well, you were sure you had some leftover hummus and naan when you helped clean yesterday, but you weren’t 100% certain.

With your teeth there weren’t a lot you could eat, but you also needed to get some nurture, and since hummus was made with chickpeas, it could give you enough nourishment for quite some time. Maybe you should check out some of the recipes in the pamphlet?

The time now read 07.58, time to get up and get ready, be a productive member to society, and Overwatch. Finding your clothes wasn’t hard, dressing up in the same old “uniform”, maybe you ought to do something different today? Change your hair maybe, considering you always left it loose, not caring about any of the tangles. 

It was time, you were going to put it up in a ponytail. Looking through the shelves in your little bathroom, you really had to search long and hard for a single hair tie.  
Putting one of the looser ones around your wrist, you got a snappy brown one and with a brush you brushed your hair back, pulling your hair into a tight ponytail.  
Getting a look in the mirror, you felt like your face was bigger than usual. You just weren’t used to having your hair up was all, but you’d be damned if that was going to spoil your day.

You brushed your teeth gently with your new toothbrush and milder tooth paste, that was specifically made for this situation. The new teeth looked a bit whiter than the rest, which meant you’d have to up your ante or use whitening strips. Most likely you’d just brush a bit, maybe if you felt bothered by it in a couple weeks you’d be able to whiten your teeth.

In the mirror, stood a person, with an old bruise on their right cheek and neck. The person looked tired, a bit worn, but still seemed to be able to face another day. The Caduceus staff had done a fantastic job, your face must have looked completely battered, and it made your face look as if you’d gotten a bit hurt a couple weeks back. 

Time to face the day, you thought lacing up your boots. Fastening the pager-device thing, you really ought to ask for it’s specific name, because calling it device was getting tiring, and ‘pager’ seemed like an insult, considering it was far superior in comparison to that old tech.

 

“What’s cooking good looking?” Even if Tracer seemed like this kind of energetic ball that never died down, you knew better. Mornings were not her forte, and even her messy bed hair looked messier. “Hopefully you, love.” Heh, snarky comment early in the morning, good one Tracer. “What would you like then? I’m too tired to cook anything big, so keep it easy. Like eggs, French toast, omelette, pancakes-“ 

“All of them please, just… get me some coffee or tea, something with caffeine.” She seemed even more tired than usual, but you complied making her and you each a cup of coffee. “Long night?” You asked sitting across from her. She sipped away, and you were about to join her when you frowned. Right, no coffee because of your new teeth… Guess you’d just have to stick with room temp water.

“You have no idea love,” Even if you were curious, you weren’t about to press her for information, keeping quiet. But, it seemed like she’d actually wanted you to ask her, because she looked at you, as if you were so interested in it. “Would you care to elaborate? Seems interes-“

Not even finishing your sentence, she started talking loudly, quickly and with a load of hand gestures. “I was on a mission with Winston and Soldier 76 yesterday,” So that’s where soldier boy had gone off to, reassuring to know that he can go on missions just after kicking your fucking ass and almost forcing a bottle down your throat. 

“Just a patrol around the city, and guess who we run into around 4-ish?” Today? Wait wasn’t it around the time your brother called you? “Who?” You asked, feeling a bit worried.  
“I said guess, love.” She was one of those people, well, fuck then, you’d guess, “The ghost of Justin Bieber? A cat with six legs? My Grandma?”

“Ugh, I wish, no, you’re terrible at guessing.” You didn’t want to guess, so who could fucking blame you for trying to be comical at the very least. “It was the clad in black, man of the hour, none other than the mysterious, moronic, dark and scary, Reaper!” She made an ‘ooo’ noise and did something that might resemble jazz hands. Even if she was comical, and acted very animated, you were not laughing.

One of your deepest fears had just been confirmed. You were definitely on lockdown. Stuck inside, never to go out. Stuck down under in the base. What a fucking joy right?

Your breathing was unsteady, had you not remembered to take your pill? Where was Hana this morning? But you were lucky that you’d grabbed some pants that you hadn’t washed in a while, even if they were probably ridden with filth, there was still an old package in the pocket with a couple slots left. 

“Would you fetch me a glass of water Tracer? I… I’m feeling a bit light headed.” A look of worry, she looked a bit nervous as well, “Are you… Worried about him?” You looked at her, she was pouring you a glass of, well what you assumed, was water. As she handed it to you, it definitely was, and it was room temp, thank god for “old” water. 

The crinkly noises the med sheet made was loud enough to wake the entire base, at least that’s what you felt. In reality it made little to no noise. Taking the white pill, you could already feel your mouth dry a bit. It was bigger than “the pill” but smaller than a normal paracetamol, at least the ones you’re used to taking. Popping it in your mouth, it already started sticking to your tongue, and you took a swig of water, careful not to hit your teeth on the glass edge.

“You could respond y’know…” Had you tried to collectively ignore Tracer? No, not really, but not answering her genuine question that was filled with worry, was kind of rude. Should you answer truthfully or just try to start a new subject? The latter seemed like it’d be better for you, but you knew Tracer wouldn’t be satisfied.

“A bit yes.” ‘A bit’ my ass, you were a bundle of worry. Just four days ago, you’d gotten your ass kicked. At least you thought it was four days ago, isolation and you weren’t exactly buddies, often caused a bit of memory loss and made you unable to tell time and day. Once you’d been stuck for a week and thought only hours had passed. Oh what joy it was to figure out that you’d missed your very own 21st birthday. 

“Are you sure? You seem on edge, love… Not to be rude or anything, but, it’s just…” It’s just what? That I’m fucking terrified and unable to leave, that my freedoms suddenly restricted, yet again. No really, just tell me what the fuck is on your mind, ‘Trace-aaaaah’.  
“This means I won’t be able to leave base, don’t it?” 

Tracer looked a bit hurt, leaning back in her seat and in thought. It took a while, before she made any movement really. Just a coffee sip. That’s what you had thought, your freedom was restricted. Sighing, you propped your elbows on the table and held your face, back hunched over.

“Well…” She started, but you weren’t very hopeful. You knew she was clever at times, but she was definitely dumber than you, at least at things like this. “No?” Wait, this piqued your interest and you sat up. She took a long swig of her coffee, finishing it. 

Then she almost jumped up at the table, the energetic burst startling the fuck out of you. “No!” You just had to ask her, what did she know that you didn’t? “No…?”  
Flailing her arms, she screamed out a ‘no’, in what seemed like, joy?

“Why ‘no’? Are you saying there’ll be no restrictions?” You asked, warily. “No! or wait, yes! You see love, there were never talk about any lockdown or restrictions! You’re free as a bird!” In a cage maybe, because even if there was no talk about it didn’t mean that you weren’t on lockdown. Going outside could result in your ass getting fucking murdered. You knew as much; this Reaper dude is extremely dangerous.

“Where’s 76? I have something to talk to him about.” You said pushing yourself away from the table about to run and have a fun little chat. Tracer seemed confused, but hey, at least you hadn’t said Morrison right? “Level A, got a bit wounded while fighting against him and Spider-bitch,” Spider-bitch? “Who?” You asked narrowing your eyes.

“Just this huge ugly old mug, a sniper, that thinks she can do whatever the fuck she wants. Hate her.” You could have responded with a ‘hate’s a strong word’ but you knew she’d take it literally and not sarcastically and try to defend herself. Tracer was sweet, even if people tended to forget it, she took many things quite literal.  
“Fine, but I think I should-“

“Oy, you make breakfast yet?”   
Turning you saw none other than your favourite Junkers. “Sorry, not yet, I’ve been talking to Tracer about this” Making a scary voice and wiggling your fingers, you sure as hell must’ve looked idiotic, but fuck it, “Reaper. He’s apparently back in town, along with this spider female dog or whatever the fuck. Which means I’m stuck inside, which is fucking fun.”

You never needed to watch your language with them, you could use as many swears as you’d like and not feel unladylike. It was… pleasant. Refreshing.   
“You can join me in the kitchen if you’d like, I was thinking about making some pancakes or whatever.” Didn’t need to tell Junkrat twice, he was already by the door.

Scanning your card, the door opened and you entered the kitchen, there was Chad and Sicilia, cooking away. Cooking some meat, cleaning, and making some simple yet magnificent breakfast. Why someone would choose your cooking over theirs was beyond you, they were definitely better at cooking than you.

The display of omnics seemed to put the Junkers on edge, they kept seemingly quiet. “They don’t fucking bite you know, they are pretty harmless.” You said jokingly, giving off a little grin, and waved at the two omnics, “But I might…” Was what you thought you heard coming from Junkrat in an uncharacteristically serious voice. What the fuck.

Not going to dwell on the comment, you started finding ingredients. But upon finding the animalistic ingredients a thought passed you, and you felt yourself talking without thinking. “Are you vegan Roadhog?” You’d never seen him eat meat, ever. And you always cooked vegan things for him, but you had always done that by chance.

“You mean you didn’t know? You didn’t give him anything that isn’t-” Junkrat started, almost accusing you of doing something you definitely hadn’t, “Oh no, of course not! I just never really thought about it, I try to refrain from using animal made products myself, so I haven’t used it unless people have asked specifically it’s okay or told me that they can’t handle gluten.” 

 

Knowing that some vegetarians and vegans could try to ‘trick’ people into drinking soy milk was unnerving. A recruit of yours had come to you with stomach pains, really bad condition, and when you’d asked him if he’d consumed anything that he normally hadn’t, he’d told you about going to this café and ordered a latte. Turns out the person who’d made the coffee had switched it out with soy milk thinking that he’d not notice the difference.

It made you wary of cooking with soy, rice or coconut milk, because people could be allergic, which is why you always made sure before cooking anything. A person’s diet is very important, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to cook certain things, it can be dangerous not to follow it. People can get sick, or worst case scenario, die.

 

“But yea, I’ll get started on those pancakes.” You said turning and moved towards the cabinets. Why the omnics preferred to put your flour in the cabinets, that were difficult for you to reach, was beyond you. Seemed like they just wanted to tease you. Even if you could be considered a bit tall, by some, you just weren’t tall enough.

Hissing at the omnics, they seemed amused at your distress, “Flour belongs in the freaking drawer!” Your comment only seemed to feed their amusement, “Does it now? If only there was space in the drawers. Seems like they are full of snacks though. Hm… Whose fault is that?” Guilty as charged, Sicilia had pinned you, you would buy too much snacks when you were hungry. 

“Point taken.” You were about to climb up on the counter, which would be considered very unsanitary, but were lifted off the fucking ground. Helpful, you thought, even if you should have panicked, but you knew Roadhog wouldn’t bother hurting you. Reaching for the flour, you were gently brought down.

“Thanks, owe you one.” You were owing a lot of people a lot of things right now, at least you didn’t owe anyone money, at least that was nice. “Don’t mention it.” Holy fuck, his dark raspy voice sent fucking chills down your back. What was it with you today, snap the fuck out of it! Which is what you did and started preparing the ingredients, measuring them. 

 

The pancakes were pretty good, ending up with making American pancakes, big and fluffy, you’d even added some blueberries in the mix. Just to… mix it up. That was terrible, you shouldn’t be allowed to make these jokes.

“How’s my cooking today boys?” You asked, hoping for a bunch of compliments, as usual, but were cut off by a hand. Placed over your eyes.

“Guess who?” 

You panicked toppling over in your chair, clearly scared by an enemy. Kicking back and trying to run off, you were grabbed a hold of by the same foe. Seemed to worry the Junkers, as they jumped into action. Junkrat twisted your foes arm and kicked their feet, sending them to the ground.

“Ow what the fuck!” 

 

Oh shit. 

 

Wait was this happening.

 

Are you hallucinating or?

 

“What the fuck are you doing on base?!” 

You yelled, looking down at your very own brother. He was in his usual attire, although it seemed a bit dishevelled. Being pinned to the ground certainly didn’t help with his appearance.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in hiding or something?”

He looked up at you the best he could, still held on the ground by Junkrat. Maybe you should fix that? But your heart was still racing, you’d end his suffering… in a while.

“Well, yes,” he started, he looked like fucking shit. “But they seemed to think it’d be best to keep me in hiding here.”

Well that answered that, maybe it was time to get Junkrat off him. Giving him a look, your brother was released, reluctantly.

“Holy fuck, what is it with your bosses?” Visibly cringing, he shouldn’t have called them boss, and you were waiting for your brother to get a punch to the face from either of the Junkers. But, it never really came. Strange, you were sure they’d not enjoy being called ‘boss’. Never judge a book by its cover you guessed.

“What do you mean?” You asked, helping him back to his feet. He smelled as well, and you grimaced. You really ought to get him some fresh clothing while he takes a long, hard shower.   
“The protectiveness, I mean they are possessive.” He whispered to you, hoping no one but the two of you caught what he said by accident.

“You want some breakfast?” He could definitely need some, when was the last time he’d taken care of himself? Looked around a week back, must’ve been wearing the same clothes since the day he panicked. Disgusting, but you knew you’d probably have looked somewhat similar in his position.

“I’d love some.” As you were about to walk towards the kitchen you were stopped by Junkrat. “Wait, what do you mean? You’re going to serve this complete stranger breakfast? What- what am I not getting here?!” He sounded panicked, was he worried about you? Sweet. “They are siblings.” You were a bit surprised that someone had actually gotten it, right away, but Roadhog seemed great at observing little details. Nothing wrong with his eyesight apparently.

“Brother?” Junkrat asked aloud, a bit surprised. He stopped and looked in thought, as he took a long hard look at the two of you. Then the similarities dawned him, and he looked a bit worried, maybe because he’d pinned your brother to the ground. Though it seemed to wash away his worries when you gave him a nod, you weren’t angry.

“You coming?” You asked your brother, as you headed towards the kitchen door. He didn’t even miss a beat, and almost fucking sprinted towards you. Was he nervous? You’d been the first couple days. Honestly you were still a bit nervous, but at least you didn’t show it. You hoped.

 

The door opened in front of you, and Sicilia almost walked smack into you. Almost my ass, they walked smack into you. But you didn’t fall over, thanks to your brother grabbing a hold of you. “I’m so sorry, are you okay!” Sicilia was such a worry wart, and you gave off a gentle laugh along with your brother, “Yes, I’m fine, it was just a little bump in.” 

Disregarding that, you entered the kitchen and whipped up some more batter. Your brother, even if it was extremely unsanitary, dipped his finger into the batter to give it a taste. “How come you’re always allowed to be in the kitchen?” Swatting his hand away, you huffed a bit, “Because I know how to not be a health hazard. You’re just lucky there’s no eggs in this batter!” 

“Put some chocolate in there.” It was his pancakes, and from the looks of it, he deserved it. “They are in the drawer over there, Chad move your shiny metal ass.” He was organizing your snack drawer, maybe you shouldn’t have yelled at him. “Fine, but you’ll have to do this,” he gestured to the messy drawer, “Yourself.” You’d just eat all of the snacks, problem solved.

Your brother brought a little plastic-like bag full of milk chocolate chips and chocolate syrup. Scoffing at all the sweetness the two of you shared a look. His heavy bags, stubble and slightly puffy eyes gave you the indication that he wasn’t fooling around. He needed this sweetness, and you were not going to deny him that pleasure.

Willingly complying to make the mess that was these pancakes, your brother seemed content. It was like you hadn’t quite grasped the situation that had unfolded until you flipped the messy pancake. Holy shit, your brother was here!

“You’re here!” You yelled out loud, causing your brother to jump a bit. “You’re here, you’re here! You are really here!” you squealed pulling him into a hug, never mind the messy pancakes. Jumping up and down while holding him tight, you could feel your eyes starting to sting.

“I am.” He said quietly holding you close, wrapping himself completely around you. You were happy, sad, freaking out and panicking at the same time, the overwhelming emotions getting to you, as tears streamed.

“You’re fucking crazy…” You said, holding him close, not caring about the smell of burning pancakes. Your brother did however, and turned the cooker off, and flipped the pancake onto a plate you’d placed close by.

“Says you, almost burnt my breakfast to a crisp. What a morning huh?” He could say that again, holy fuck so much was happening you were getting dizzy. “I’m just so happy you’re here, and alive.” 

“Barely, just… barely.” He voiced, and you could feel his stress, his trauma. He was not okay, and here you were, living it the fuck up. You were safe, and he wasn’t, and here you thought you had problems, you couldn’t possibly imagine what kind of issues he might have.

“I’m so fucking sorry bro, I should have… Should have stayed with you.” You were crying into his chest, fuck, you were being so emotional. “You know that’d only have been more dangerous, you’re not stupid.” Yes, you were, you were so fucking stupid.

“I…” You started but you quickly stopped, looking up at him. He was crying, and it worried you to no end. The only time you’d seen him cry was, well, years ago. Not even at the funeral had he cried, keeping up an appearance. Trying to look away from you, he was hurting so bad and here you were crying and not even trying to comfort him. What a bad sister you were.

“I’m so sorry sis, I fucked up, and don’t know how to fix things. I left you to yourself, didn’t even bother calling you every now and then, I’m such a bad brother.” How could he say these things to you? He was in the wrong, you were the one who’d left him. “Even now, I’ve managed to make us a fucking target, and we can’t go fucking outside even and I’m just… I fucked so much shit up sis, I’ve ruined your life.”

That wasn’t fucking true, you’d managed that just perfectly fine on your own. 

He was beating himself up so badly.

You should say something.

“It…”

Good going, you’d formed a word, now continue.

Putting a hand on his face, drying his tears with your thumb, you smiled gently.

“You’re not guilty.”

He looked surprised, you knew exactly what to say now, because it was something you’d needed to hear.

“You were not the one at fault. Mistakes happen. People die, it’s just a part of life. Our parents loved us. They wouldn’t be disappointed in us, they’d be proud. Just look at us, I work for the Overwatch, even just as a cleaning lady, and you, you’re a world famous programmer taking down dangerous hackers! Most people our age are struggling to get paid or even living, their student loans crippling them. We have done good.”

He didn’t smile, but he wasn’t getting angry either, meant you were saying something right.

“We’ve saved lives, sure we’ve done bad, but we could have done a whole lot worse. This,” you gestured to the two of you, “This is good. We love each other and that’s everything they would have wanted, right? Sure, there’s a lot of shit, but damn it, now that we’re together again, we’ll face any problem head on, and we’ll fucking win!” 

You smiled, looking at him, blinking through tears. “We got Overwatch backing us up, THE Overwatch. Fucking superheroes bro! We can face anything and everything! Heck, we could probably do it without them, I got you, and you got me. That’s all we’ll ever need! I love you so much!”

Holding your brother close, he wept on your shoulder, and you felt a smile on your lips. This was so painful, but it was necessary for making the two of you better.

 

 

Your little speech hadn’t gone unnoticed; you’d left the kitchen door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hOO bOI REAPERS BACK IN TOWN, what the fuck is Reader going to do about that??  
> Maybe… Just maybe… You'll finally learn how he knows you?
> 
>  
> 
> I wanted to post this yesterday, but kind of fell asleep, there won't be a new chapter tonight, considering I have a paper to write (however if I get the paper finished I'll get started on it)
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed, and as always I'm available on Tumblr and Twitter, so u kno… hmu ;))))


	18. Washy wash

After the eventful breakfast, you’d shown your brother to your room. Seemed a bit strange that your “support” team had left your brother, but at the same time you were grateful, it was time to get some important things done, like making your brother better.

“Here’s the shower, I’ll go and wash your clothes, Athena?” You voiced and your brother looked strangely at you. Why were you yelling someone’s name when there was only him and you?

“Would you please make sure my brother is taken care of, and by that I mean, he must be allowed to go anywhere in my quarters.” On the first day you’d accidentally gotten stuck in your bathroom, turns out if you don’t give yourself access to enter and re-enter the bathroom you’re stuck. Not understanding that logic, you didn’t exactly dwell on it. But at least your brother wasn’t going to suffer the same fate as you.

“What size are you? I can go grab some fresh clothes from the storage,” Taking a look in the tags of his clothes would be useless, he cut them off for comfort. “Large. Thought you knew that.” Technically you did, but you wanted to make sure, he looked skinnier.  
“Fine, just take a long shower, you smell.” No vodka and you were still this good at insults? Wow, were you just a mean person?

But your brother didn’t seem bothered by it, as he gave off a little chuckle. “Great, do you have some mouth wash or something too?” You did, and you opened the cabinet to show him your little hoarding problem. “Damn, you’ve got a lot of products. Any chance you got a fresh razor and shaving cream?” Pointing to a corner of the shelf inside the cabinet, there it was. A fresh razor and a half emptied shaving cream can.

“Towels?” He asked and you pointed to some fresh white ones inside the other cabinet door. “You have got to organize this shit, I can’t believe you were hired here, you’re so damn messy.” You were naturally messy, and didn’t feel bad living in your own filth. Just because you were messy at home, didn’t mean you were at work.

No because at work you actually did a good job. Which led you to look at your device, shit, you were currently at work, not actually treating your brother. Having a couple cleaning requests, you were quick to snap out of your little ‘treat yo’ brother’ time  
“Fuck, I got work bro, if you have any questions ask Athena, I might not be back until 21, I think I got some snacks under my bed, or I’ll make someone bring you something, now,”   
He looked a bit panicked as you yelled, “Strip!”

 

Your brother’s clothes where in the washer, and you’d gotten all of your cleaning requests done. Looking at the time in the corner of your device, it showed that it was beyond lunch time. In fact, it was 16 in the afternoon, which meant you’d left your brother alone in your room for about 7 hours.   
Maybe it was time for you to bring him some food and actual clothes? Shit clothes. You hadn’t even given him new clothes to wear!

Running into the storage room, grabbing different kinds of t-shirt with the Overwatch logo, two pants, similar to yours, a couple socks and some new underwear, you were sprinting towards your living quarters. If the base had to be evacuated for some reason, how the fuck would he be able to get out? He’d have to run out in the fucking nude is how.

Scanning your key card, you almost threw the clothes on the bed, until you noticed that it was occupied. Closing the door behind you, you looked towards your now sleeping brother. He was sleeping in his towel, underneath your sheets. Even when he was dead tired, he still cared enough about you not to make your bed dirty. Good.

“Time to wake up, you need to put on some clothes,” you said while gently pushing away some of your brother’s hair, feeling his warm but not sweaty, forehead. He shifted a bit, but didn’t exactly wake up, he needed his sleep, but he also needed to put on some clothes. Which meant you had to prioritize, he could put on some clothes and go back to sleep.

“Wakey, wakey!” You said louder and you gently started pushing your brother. What happened next was a bit shocking and you yelped. Your brother had grabbed your arm and twisted it. “Stop it bro! You’re hurting me!” He looked almost painfully awake in an instant, sitting up, and released you from his grip. “Fuck, are you okay?”

Punching his shoulder, you were kind of pissed that he hurt your newly fixed arm, but you felt like you were more worried about why he’d even react that way. “I’m fine, but you, you are not. Just put on some damn clothes, I’ll take you to get some food.”   
Why were you sounding so angry, you weren’t? At least you think you weren’t angry. 

 

Are you repressing some anger?

 

Handing your brother his ‘new’ clothes and looking away to let him dress himself you were in the dire need of something to drink. Not alcohol, not this time. Staring at your hands you could see that your nails were in the need of a new manicure. Your cuticles were flaring a bit and you seemed to have chipped some of them from when you’d fought. 

Right, you still had a couple bruises on your face from the fighting. You hadn’t even bothered to cover them, I mean what was the point, everyone probably knew now anyways. It sucked. 

It downright sucked that everyone now knew that you were a drunk. 

Not thinking about it would do you good, but quiet moments like these were a pain.

“All done, how do I look?” You heard your brother as and you turned. He… Looked good. Not just good, great! He fit into those clothes perfectly, they weren’t too snug or even too big on him. He was… perfect…

“How do you think you look? Messy bedhead, here,” you took a hold of his head, and he leaned a bit to get down on your level. He’d gotten the best part of your genes, the height. Your brother was the tallest in your family, and at one point when you were younger, he’d mentioned how it was because he always finished his vegetables. Being young and impressionable had made it so you always ended up eating your vegetables and his, which had earned your brother a scolding when your mom had figured out his little prank.

Patting his hair, messing it up a bit and brushing through it with your fingers to get it pretty and somewhat even, you noticed how quiet he was being. Was it your insult? Compliment him like a good little sister. 

“There, now you look a whole lot better bro.” Too bad his facial expression didn’t suggest the same. “What’s the matter?” You asked taking a hold of the side of his arm. “It’s like…” He started and turned his head away from you, “Like you’ve moved on. You look like you always have, safe, secure and happy, I have no idea how you’ve managed to get past… All this.”

Smiling and giving a gentle, yet nervous, laugh you felt bad. “I try every day. It’s not easy. I will never completely move on you know. You won’t either, but,” and at this you took a hold of his cheek and tried to meet his gaze.  
“We got each other. No one’s telling us we have to feel good right away, we’ll get through this, together.”

“How come you always know when to say the right things?” He asked pulling you into a hug. You didn’t though, you’d gotten your ass kicked several times because you had said something wrong. Countless punches and kicks. 

“You’ve become so mature, where’s my little sister who had the worst humour ever? Do you even laugh when I make a face anymore?” He whispered into your form. “There are certain things you can never get rid of in life. Some STD’s and my bad sense of humour.”  
He gave off a short laugh, “I guess you’re still my little sister, huh?”

“That I am definitely,” You smiled and pulled a bit back, “You want to take a look around the facility? If Hana- eh, D. Va is on base, I’m sure she’d love to show you around.”  
“Your girlfriend?” He elbowed you jokingly and you flushed, “We’re just friends, not every person who’s my friend is my significant other you know…” 

“Oh really? That reminds me of something, what is up with your bosses? They come to rescue me out of the ‘goodness of their heart’ or whatever the fuck. What is their game?”  
Even if you did expect this talk, you hadn’t expected it so soon.

“Honestly, I don’t even know. You know me, I suck at the whole dating thing. Then I get these random flirts from my bosses and I’m so confused.” He scoffed and crossed his arms, “Confused? Imagine how I felt when that cowboy dude told me you were ‘his’. And then that dude, what’s his name, Handsoap? He was asking all these questions about our family tree and heritage, really intense ones! And I swear that green cyborg ninja man was staring at me the entire time.”

Heh, Hand soap… You’d definitely have to use that. 

“I have no idea. They are possessive man-babies, and I have just decided not to deal with it.” You were honestly just tired, so fucking tired of the whole ‘oh do I love my groundskeeper or are my options just so limited I fall for some random singel person that’s nearby?’. 

“You can say that again, I feel like punching the lot, you’re not a fucking toy. You’re a full grown woman with her own fucking mind. Besides aren’t they like in their fucking 30s? Don’t they think you’re a little too young for them?” 

Well, when you’d turned 20 years you never saw going up to 40 as an issue. ‘Age is just a number’ didn’t really describe your perspective, mostly because it was used by creepy dudes hitting up young teens, but it was close.

“I don’t think the age part is a big issue, rather the fact that none of them seem to know the ‘real me’. I know that sounds sappy and cliché, but we’ve never had an hour long conversation.”

Your brother snickered, “Guess that’d scare them off wouldn’t it?” 

 

Was he insulting you? 

 

You smacked his arm, he voiced an ‘ow’.

 

“Anyways, that might be the solution to your little… problem. Talk more to them, maybe they’ll finally realize who you actually are and move on. I think they are just idolizing a fictional version of you, which has caused some of them to become quite infatuated with you. ‘Communication is key’, and all that.” It was worth a shot, besides, maybe it was time for you to actually apologize to them properly and thank them for rescuing your brother.

“I need to get cooking though, are you hungry or do you want to sleep some more?” Just as you’d mentioned it, his stomach growled a bit and you could hear him curse, thank goodness for borborygmus right?

 

 

“What the fuck is he doing here.” 

“Am I not allowed to?”

Shut up, god fucking damn it, shut up. 

“What is this fucking nonsense soldier?”

You were doomed, so fucking doomed.

“Lil sis, was I not permitted to seek refugee here? Speak up.”

This wasn’t even your fucking fault, fuck. 

“Does it help if I tell you that it wasn’t my idea or doing…?”

 

“Of course it doesn’t. Did you learn absolutely nothing?! Get him the fuck off the base. He’s a living, breathing target, and if we weren’t already in a ton of problems, you just made it a whole lot worse, soldier.”

That stung, it really hurt you. Was 76 referring to when you’d gotten your ass handed to you, stuck in inhuman isolation, kept your medicine from you while you were in a poor physical and mental condition, and then interrogated and electrocuted? If so, you started feeling anxious, scared of what was to come.

Apparently your brother had noticed that you were intimidated and decided to meddle with 76, which was not a good move. Taking a step to your side, he held a protective brotherly arm in front of you. Even now he would stand up for you, when he was definitely outmatched.

“Keep her out of it.” He spat, “I don’t care who the fuck you are, but you sure as hell don’t talk to her like that.”

Doomed. Yup, the two of you were doomed.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing little boy?”

Was that a sarcastic comment, considering your brother was taller than him, or was he referring to the age difference? Wait, focus, you need to stay focused on what’s happening in front of you.

“Your men brought me here, yet you’re blaming her.” He looked to you, and then continued to stare down 76, “If they brought me here without your authorization, it just shows that they don’t fucking respect you. Even lil sis here did a better job than whatever the fuck you think you’re doing now.”

You weren’t even doomed anymore, you were dead. You should have written a will or something, a long time ago. Hana could have your clothes, although they were a bit too big on her, Mercy could have some of your perfumes, she might enjoy the floral ones.

Soldier 76 took a hold of your brother by his shirt and slammed him into the wall on your side. You yelped in fear, the loud crash and instant panic getting to you. But as you’d stated earlier, you’d die for your brother, you couldn’t lose him. Especially not now.

“Give me one good reason not to snap your neck right now, right here.”

Time for you to spring into action, and boy, were you glad you’d worn your uniform. Unbuckling your belt, you were going to use it to choke 76 to death if he tried anything.

“Because you’d be lying dead on the floor the next second.” 

This caused both of the men to look at you, and holy fuck, you must’ve baffled them or something. They actually looked worried about your next move.

“I’m not going to walk around the fucking porridge, if you don’t let him go now Morrison, I swear, I’ll fight you again. This time I won’t let Hana be the one to knock you unconscious. Hell, maybe I’ll even give you a choke back, that’s always fun right?”

This really seemed to tick him off, but he released your brother, yet he didn’t scramble off.   
Had he heard you right? Had this angry commander really fought you? Choked you? Your brother’s blood was boiling, and he were about to leap on top of this old man and off him.

76 walked up to you, but you were standing your ground. Not going to let him intimidate you further. “Soldier… You’re playing a dangerous game here.” 

“If you think this is a game, you got quite the twisted sight of the world. Let’s have a civilized conversation for once, huh? Adult to another adult, we’re not fucking children, are we?f”  
You said, closing in on him, centimetres from his face, your chests almost touching.

“Fine. One, he’s not allowed in the facility, there exists restriction for a reason, which you should fucking know. Two, are you threatening your very own boss?” Oh so they were capable of using the word ‘boss’ without wanting to kill you. Surprising, how curious.

“I am if he’s trying to threaten my brother, I don’t know about you ‘boss’,” you hissed, “But I don’t want more innocent blood on my hands.” That must’ve struck a nerve, it had to, because he turned away from you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Was he kidding, did he forget who you were? You might not have experienced the same, but you’d be damned if you didn’t know how losing some innocent civilian felt.

“I think I know a thing or fucking two, but I’m not going to push your buttons anymore, you know you’re in the wrong here.”

Bold statement, but you could hope he knew at least. Taking a look to you, and your brother who now had joined your side, the two of you in defensive positions in case he tried anything. He grunted and simply, walked away, quietly.

 

But you felt bad. So bad. Were you really such a cruel person? You knew the horrors of losing civilians, so did you really have to mention it? Losing someone in your arms, cradling them while you try to rescue them, only to feel their life slipping between your fingers.

At the time, you’d thought it was the right words, it had certainly made him leave. At what cost though? You’d been so insensitive. Whimpering, your brother noticed your distress and touched your shoulder.

“I know… You had to say that… I shouldn’t have fuelled the fire.”

Losing someone to natural causes like old age didn’t hurt as bad, but caressing a screaming little child in your arms as they were dying however. Hurts. Especially when there’s nothing you can do except holding them close trying to calm them before they go to the ‘beyond’. Sometimes their screams haunt you, you’ll hear their screams from afar.

“I… I-I’m an i-idiot.”

“You’re not the idiot here sis, I just, he was treating you horribly, you’re not a soldier, not anymore. Even so, you’re a person, so please, stop hurting yourself over it.”

“I’m a horrible person…”

You weren’t even looking at your brother, but you knew, you had an extra person to apologise to. Buckling your belt, you felt awful, maybe it was time to just walk around as a mindless zombie? What a great coping mechanism, you don’t have to focus on anything in particular, just hope you don’t slip down a flight of stairs.

 

Even so, you felt like you’d deserve it.

 

 

“Sis, I think you have to scan the card again if you want to enter the kitchen.”

When had you gotten here? When had you entered the mess hall? Had your brother followed you the entire time in silence? 

“Fuck,” You hissed, you’d blanked out, completely out, like when you’d get shitfaced and could only see 1 meter in front of you. Felt like you were looking at someone in a completely dark room, a flash light held to their face, as if you were constantly taking a flash photograph, but never really got a picture.

Scanning your key card, the door opened and you entered to the same old kitchen. The tiles were just the same, and it was filled to the brim with groceries. Right, it must be around 17 now, meaning dinner preparations soon would begin. 

“Sis are you listening?”

Hadn’t you just said something, hadn’t you responded? Well, no, not really, maybe it was time to say something other than a string of curses. Actually respond to your brother, it was time.

“Pardon?”

Great response, you’re quite the human being aren’t you. Not only were you not listening or responding to your brothers attempt at conversation, but you had four people you needed to apologize to, and even if that would be painful and you were a couple weeks late, it would be necessary in order to move on.

“I’m sorry sis, fuck, I didn’t know what’d happen, I just thought he’d get realize and apologize. I’m sorry for doing this to you.”

Why was he apologizing, you’d managed to do this to yourself perfectly fine? He was beating himself up because you were acting strange, tell him the case.

“You don’t need to apologise; I’d have done the exact same thing.”

You would have, even if you knew he could take it. No one talked to your brother like that, you deserved all the shit you could take, he fucking didn’t.

Moving towards your snack drawer, you didn’t feel like cooking tonight. Indulging on sweets seemed to be the only thing you wanted to do today.   
Gripping a bag of wine gummies and a bag of red vines, you felt like you were ignoring your work. Maybe you should take a look at your device again?

Handing your brother the treats, you sneak a peek at your device, and sure enough you have requests. “I have to get back to work, I’ll be taking you to Winston.” Because they’d definitely want to meet, the two geniuses. 

“T H E Winston? Is he even on base?” You’d cleaned out his office earlier by his request, so you could only guess that he was. Nodding to your brother, you snagged the bag of red vines, opened it, and took a bite of the long red stringy candy.

“You’re such a fucking nerd, you’re probably going to compare notes or something.” You said walking through the empty mess hall, your brother not far behind. “Well at least, I’m good looking.” 

“As opposed to me, because I’m the least sexy person ever?” He smiled, and you made a grimace and double chin a vine hanging out of your mouth, “Well you’re not top 10, but I don’t think you’re the absolute worst looking person. Just not up there with me.”

“Har de Har Har, you’re so fucking funny.” At least you were having a conversation, at least you were focused on what was going on in front of you and at least your brother didn’t seem as worried as he had earlier. Opening the door, you started heading down the hallway towards the elevator. “Where we heading?” Your brother asked following your side, “You’re heading towards level B, I’m taking you to Winston’s office, you excited?” 

And sure enough your brother did look a bit giddier, the meeting between two engineering geniuses, how fun for you, and everyone around you. Entering the empty elevator, you pressed the button for level B, and as you were currently on level C, and it was only one floor up, there was no way this little trip could go wrong.

 

It didn’t, you both got to level B safely and started heading towards Winston’s office. You mentally cursed yourself for holding your breath while walking past 76’s office. Guilt eating away at you, even if he had threatened to kill your brother, you knew you probably could have stopped him without turning to such… verbal violence?

What if he was angry with you? Wait, that wasn’t even a question, surely he must be absolutely livid, furious with you! I mean who the fuck wouldn’t be considering your insensitivity. Even mentioning the casualties of war. You deserved any punch someone might offer.

A couple doors down, was Level B - Room 17, Winston’s office. Knocking on the door, and announcing Athena of your presence, you waited impatiently. Somehow you always felt less superior in the presence of geniuses, even if you knew your ABC and basic math, you felt left out. The only genius you’d never felt intimidated by was your brother, and that was because of the family relations. He managed to baffle you at times though.

Now you’d be in the presence of not one, but two, of the worlds smartest beings. You really ought to start studying, maybe when you’ve got enough money to move out? You could maybe start studying to become a nurse like you’d wanted in forever. It’d take a lot of effort though, but maybe one day you could live like a normal person.

Right now you didn’t have that energy to though, but one day you might. However, you needed to fix this whole mess with the hacker, Sombra or whatever, and this Reaper dude. Then you could quit and start completely over.

The door hissed as it opened and you took a step back to take in Winston’s form. “Oh, hello!” He said, almost sounding surprised at your appearance. The only members that saw you consistently was Junkrat, Roadhog, Hana and as of lately, 76 as well.

Then he noticed your brother, and actually looked surprised. The two looked a bit star struck, mouth agape, they looked excited. “I’ll be leaving him with you while I tend to my duties, I hope that’s not too much to ask? Surely you must have a lot to talk about.” Before walking completely away from this scene you whispered something to your brother.

 

“Have fun, nerd.”

 

As you’d finished cleaning the common living room, which actually still looked decent enough, you felt a bit exhausted. I mean who wouldn’t be? Not only had your brother with a cash price on his head showed up at an impenetrable base, but you’d almost gotten you and your brother killed. Just a normal day, right?

Giving some water to the different succulents in the room, you knew that it was time to eat something. Besides the almost finished red vines packet in your deep left pocket. You weren’t the best at taking care of yourself, but it had helped when you had to cook for people, to remind you that eating is important.

There was some leftover Squash lasagne you had cooked for the Junkers for lunch, you’d just message Sicilia, Chad or XoXo to open the door for them so they could take it themselves. Which you did, and XoXo instantly messaged you back with a winking face. Thank god for XoXo.

Moving some of the pillows, looking through a woven basket for a good blanket, you took of your boots and plopped yourself down on the couch. Draping the blanket over you, getting a bit snug, it was your daily 15-minute pause, which meant, nap time. 

You were lucky you’d brought your headset with you, because cancelling out the noise and only focusing on the music would really help you. Setting an alarm, you turned on some music from the 20s, you were a sucker for old music and even if 2020s weren’t the best years for music, it had still defined several new ways to create music.

Sighing deeply, you tried to disappear into the couch as a song started. Closing your eyes, you could already feel yourself slipping. It was like your mind was honey, gently pouring down into a cup of teeth, slow and steady. The steam was nurturing and refreshed you, and then your mind started stirring, the gentle clinks of the spoon hitting the sides of your mind-cup.

Infusion, it was a tea, not much unlike earl grey. If you wanted to you could infuse it with milk, or put some sugar in there. But as of right now the honey was just enough. Soothing and satisfying. Delicious hot tea, trickling down from the sides of the cup as the spoon was taken out and clinked against the side. 

Then it was like your mind-cup of tea toppled over, something had disturbed you. You were so close to sleeping, but had felt a presence. You should wake up and greet the person who’d so rudely disturbed you, or ignore them and continue resting.   
Choosing the latter, you pretended to still be sleeping, the person would leave soon so anyways. Wouldn’t they?

The song had long since ended and you guessed it had been about 3 minutes since you’d started pretending to be asleep. Jesus, when was this person going to stop staring at your “sleeping” form?

You could “wake up”, but having an internal fight with the person watching you were so much more entertaining, per see. The first one to back down would be the loser, and since you’d lost quite a bit lately, it was time for a win.

Small breaths, a long sleepy sigh and a little shift to the side. That’d signal them that maybe you were about to rise, but instead you now felt a hand in your hair. Caressing it gently, swiftly letting hair fall through their fingers. It felt so good, sweet, the intentions behind this action was not to harm you. They were pure, good in fact. Was this going too far? 

Still having your headset on, even with the music off, you could barely hear the person move. Desperately wanting to open your eyes, but not daring to, considering the hair petting was felt so good, you kept them closed, your cheeks lightly flushing.

Out of nowhere you felt something on your lips, be it fingers or whatever, there was something on your lips. Shrieking would do you no good, only scare you and the person into oblivion. But the pressure on your lips quickly moved, now you only felt someone’s hot breath. God, you’d been kissed hadn’t you?

The kiss so chaste and sweet, with the purest of intentions. Made you feel good, it made you crave more, there’d been such a long time since you’d last been kissed. Another one please, your heart begged, yet you knew that it was wrong.

As if your prayers had been answered, you were kissed again, but this one lasted longer, and you could feel the lust. They craved you more than you craved them. Should you put a stop to this insanity or… just go with it?

Their breaths hot, rushed, they wanted you, badly. 

Who were you to deny someone that? 

As you started kissing them back, not with the same passion obviously, they didn’t jump back, but kept going. You gave your lips a little lick, time to jump into action. Parting your lips, quite a bit, you welcomed them into your mouth.

Moving your tongues alongside another, the kiss deepened. Certainly not the best kiss you’ve had, but not exactly the worst either. This person could just be nervous, usually grabbing the back of their head would help. Telling them to go a bit slower helped a lot as well.

Then they upped the ante, and nibbled gently on your lower lip and moved back into your mouth. It was if they suddenly knew how to use their tongue, they suddenly started moving it expertly, and you had to try your best to keep up with their game.

Not knowing whether you were a good kisser or not, was pretty difficult, most people seemed so inexperienced that they couldn’t even tell you. However, you knew how to tell a good kisser apart from a bad one. If their focus was on making you feel good and not themselves, the game would suddenly change.

God, this was so hot, and you moaned into their mouth as they continued. Your rumble seemed to excite them more, but they slowed, teasing you. Fuck, they were better than you first had imagined, they treated you so well.

They pulled away and you breathed hard and heavy. Wanting this person, you couldn’t even see, you felt a bit awkward. However, not knowing was a bit hot as well, they could be anyone. As you leaned up to get another intoxicating kiss, you no longer felt their presence and you opened an eye.

 

Where the fuck had this person gone? Opening both your eyes, you blinked. There was no one in the room beside you. Sitting up the blanket slipping, you were… Unsure.

 

Had there even been a person there?

 

They could certainly not have moved as fast and silently as that. Where they still in the room perhaps? 

Walking around the room, looking for indications that there’d been another person there, you found no signs. Was it all a dream?

 

Feeling yourself not wanting to dwell on it, you decided to blame it on a dream… 

 

 

For now…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOW!! WHOOOO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS PERSON?! (Hahah "guess")  
> Who's Xoxo?? Kisses and hugs, another one of the omnic chefs.
> 
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> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! As always I'm available on Tumblr and Twitter, if you got a comment on something or just want to tell me about your day, hmu ;)))
> 
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> 
> (Also finished my paper, got a 6/6, which is the best grade. Sorry that it took such a long time to update, I won't be able to write tomorrow, considering a celebration in Norway, I'll finally officially be a Russ!!! But I'll try my best to get it done after work on Saturday)


	19. Blind kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's NSFW... just a heads up it's kind of graphic? here's ur smut chapter sinners, I also gave angst. Thats a compromise u guys have to be willing to take when u read my shit.........

Go to an old town in Russia, that’s been destroyed during the omnic wars, gather what information you can from some medical facility archive and leave. That had been your mission. Easy enough, it was supposed to be abandoned, the difficult part being to get to the town. 

The cold harsh winter had made the environment around you difficult, there was deep snow and winds strong enough to blow away any military aircraft daring to come close. Skiing was the only “proper” way to get there, and you were happy that you’d been taught how. Going on a thirteen-hour long skiing trip to get to this little Russian town, was fucking hard, and you don’t know how you’d been able to manage to get there without having skills.

The town itself had been damaged to the point of it being unrecognizable by the visible eye. Which was why having digitalized maps was quite important.  
It was viable for this mission to succeed. 

Setting up camp in some old ruins, you made sure the perimeter was safe. Getting your plan out, you’d premade a guard schedule. Quickly instructing the soldiers who stood guard to dress up, considering the cold air, they moved out fast, moving to their previously marked positions. The rest were to ensure the weapons, make food and fix the camp.

Every necessity would be covered, and even if you weren’t the one ‘technically’ in charge of the mission, you had a lot of responsibilities. The commander was already in his tent, probably snug and warm, careless, while you were out in the cold with the other’s doing his fucking job.

 

“5-308?” Someone was asking for you, “Yes?” You answered turning to whoever had wanted your attention. “What is it?” Looking at the soldier now in front of you, you took notice of how cold they were looking. Their lips had turned a nasty purple colour and they were shaking. The Russian winter did no good for any army, except the Russian army themselves.

“M-May I-I g-g-go,” Cutting them off and grabbing a hold of them, you were going to quickly move them into a tent. Only hoping that they’d not grown too cold and gotten hypothermia. There were only 7 tents, and moving them into a smaller one, you were going to have to start warming them up.

“How long have you been out?” You asked as you opened up the zipper to the tent, and crouched to get inside. “J-just four hours, but I-”” Four hours?!No, you get inside. Who the literal fuck told you to go off schedule? 1-hour guard time max for each soldier because of the cold. Who gave the order?” This was outrageous, someone had defied your specific order, and you were infuriated.

There was a good reason for them not to stay out longer than they should, a very simple one. Death. So you ushered the frozen soldier inside the tent and took off their wet boots and socks. “Undress.” You said strictly, it was important to get into dry clothing, and each tent had been fully stocked with warm clothes. 

The soldier complied, undressing in front of your very eyes. His skin had turned a nasty red, he was visibly shaking, shivering. He looked sick, he couldn’t even move his fingers and fumbled with zippers and buttons; which meant that you’d have to do it for him.

“I’ll be helping you undress, sorry for this.” You said, and if you were in any other situation, you might have gotten embarrassed. But as of right now, it was necessary for this soldier’s survival. If you had to see a couple dicks or vaginas for that matter, in order to do ensure their safety, you really wouldn’t mind.

Taking off the soldier’s underwear, you tried your best not to look at their ‘set’. Turning a bit away, you needed to stay objective, focus on getting them warm. Grabbing a fresh pair of underwear, you helped them to put it on. ‘Fuck’ you thought as you made your way up. Don’t stare, don’t you dare. 

Looking to the side, not facing the soldier, you had made it to their hips and let the waistband go. You were done. Now it was time to help them with their sweater, pants and socks. 

Starting with the pants, yet again, you felt a bit accomplished. Managing to help with something like this, helping people, made you feel good. With all the shit you’d have to face, you were happy that you at least helped. Rescuing people, that’s what you’d always wanted to do and damn if you weren’t going to do a good job.

“5-308, I… I’m so sorry.” Now why was this soldier apologising to you? Yet again getting to his hips you could now see a visible bulge. Oh. Well.

“Not your fault, I just need to heat you up.” Phrasing… Are you absolutely out of your bloody mind? Just focus on the damn job and get this soldier fucking warm. At least you’d managed to get one part of him warm.

“Hands up.” You voiced, draping the woollen shirt over his head. His skin was freezing to the touch, and even though you barely even touched it. “Sit.” You commanded, and the soldier complied. 

 

Ordering people around, and them complying, at times felt really good.  
Felt like people were willing to listen to you, they were willing to go through with your incredible ideas and shit. It felt like you were doing something right, you felt as though you were taking care of everyone, almost like being a mom. 

Mom. She’d been worried about you going on this mission, you’d talked together on the phone for as long as you could. 53 minutes and 57 seconds, that’s for how long. Anytime you went on missions, she’d get sad, worried about you not getting back.

Her tears when you saw her on the display, her choked back words. She didn’t deserve a daughter like you, someone who was never home, who’d chosen the military over studying, who could get killed almost every day on the job. 

Your dad however, he wasn’t as open about his worrying feelings, probably thinks that it’d only make you worried. They tell you that they are so proud of you every time you meet up, and they hold you tight, not letting go for a long time. You needed to be held like that soon, needed some loving.

 

“I’ll wrap you up in this,” You said as you started putting the foil like blanket around the icicle of a soldier, “and I want you to lie down and heat up, don’t sleep. I’ll send someone in to check on you.” You helped this now baked potato looking soldier lie down on a mat. As you were about to leave the tent, back into the freezing cold, you remembered something important.

“Who gave the orders?” The soldier tried sitting up a bit, to face his superior. His lips were still trembling a bit, they were still a bit purple, but his cheeks were definitely rosier. “T-the commander, ma’am.” You gave a nod, then there wasn’t much you could do except try to convince your commander that he shouldn’t defy the premade schedule that was confirmed by your superiors. 

It was there for a reason. You didn’t want any casualties if you could help it, and this would prevent it. Not dying of hypothermia could be easily solved by listening to you, and not going against your orders. You’re not the leader of this mission, but you’re still second in command. If your commander doesn’t listen to you, you’re allowed to step up, especially after what you did after the three last missions.

 

Yelling at the person in front of you, you were pissed. After getting the schedule back on track, and letting the soldiers who’d stayed out for too long go inside and get warmed up, just like the previous soldier, you’d gone straight to your commander.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Do you want our team to die of fucking hypothermia? What the fuck is your game!” You hadn’t managed to stay objective when he’d confirmed what the popsicle soldier told you.

“I-I just thought…” He started, but you were about two seconds to punch his face in. You shouldn’t though, he’s still on your team and important for this mission. “You thought what!?” You screamed into his face, which was just a couple inches from yours now. A power move, leaning into someone’s face, meeting them up close. Spread fear and intimidation.

But the commander, didn’t enjoy getting yelled at. No one really did, unless it was your ‘thing’ in the bedroom, then of course you’d enjoy it, but most people don’t.  
“They are not even viable to get this mission over with, they have the worst results I’ve ever seen, all in all they are awful,” He started, yelling at you, but you weren’t one to back down. Not even flinching when he continued.

“So yes, 5-308, I let the worst people stand guard a bit longer than the rest. I don’t want the best to get sick and compromise the mission. I did what I did, because it was a good and smart move.” Stone faced, your right hand was shaking. It really wanted to meet with his face, but you could hold it just a bit longer.

“Choosing to kill team mates just because their results awful, are you? Then maybe you should take a look through my fucking file.” At this he looked a bit confused, but you were serious. “I have the worst results out of everyone here. The only fucking reason I’m still on missions, is because I somehow always manage to get the job done. I get help from my team, I hand pick them. So even with terrible results, my whole team is important for this mission. I suggest you either step up as a leader, apologise and realise your mistake, or I’m going to put myself in command.”

He was gaping a bit, just like a koi fish in a pond. “Y-you… you can’t? You don’t have the authorization.” Giving of a little smile, and patting his head, quite demeaning, you continued. “I do. It’s a compromise the ‘state’ and I have, if necessary I’m allowed to take charge and relieve you of your duties. But, I believe you’re competent enough to not let me fucking do that. Do your fucking job, or I will have to do it for you.”

With that you left his tent. He was in fucking awe, never had anyone said something like that to him. You’re quite the intimidating person when you want to. But you needed to calm your beating heart, getting angry was making you hot, which was somewhat good, but not as much. You needed to go check up on your team mates, in just a couple hours you’d have the information you needed and could return home.

 

It was around 2 in the morning when it’d happened. You were still up, chatting with some team mates in one of the bigger tents. You’d heard battle cries from your soldiers, and quickly yet quietly grabbed your jacket and boots, weapons and a small medic kit. Ushering the other team mates to do the same, you readied yourself for battle. 

Zipping open the tent ‘door’ you, moved out. Your team mates behind you. Another battle cry and a loud bang, caused you to sprint into action. You’d only managed to grab one old fashioned HK 416; the newer weapons were in the ammo tent. It was loaded, so you turned off the safety.

Your teammates, that were behind you, were quiet, the only noise coming from walking in the snow. It made too much noise, you thought, giving them a look. They were scared. You’d gotten several inexperienced teammates for this mission, not thinking that you’d be fucking ambushed. “Keep quiet, and if I fall run.” You whisper-screamed to them, they nodded, and you could tell they were afraid. Not that you could show them, but you were too.

Pointing towards a different side of your makeshift base, you were creating an escape route for your team mates. That way they could run while you fought them off. Sacrifices should be made; they would need to finish the mission for you. That’s what was the most important right now. Finishing the mission.

Crouching, hiding behind one of the tents, you could hear people’s screams, pleas for their lives, blaster noises, they were better stocked than you. Not that it mattered, you’d still be able to do headshots if you focused enough.

Lying down in the snow, dragging yourself slowly forward. You could see several fallen mates, but your focus was on the people there. They were too many. Around 30, heck, maybe 50 people in dark colours. The illuminating snow making them easy to spot. 

Biting your lip, the snow already making you cold and drenched, you looked through the periscope. You’d have to work quickly, get as many as possible. Sweat was forming, mixing with the cold snow water that was drenching your stomach.  
‘Come on, move a bit to the side there’ you thought while the people moved. If you were lucky you’d kill at least three and make the others distracted enough to come for you so your team mates could run.

Taking a deep shuddering breath, your finger on the trigger, you were ready. Ready, come on! You pulled back the trigger, the bullet went off, hit its target and your gaze quickly moved to your second target. Another successful hit. Another one. Yet another one. 

The weapon was moving quicker than you, your gaze everywhere. 

Hit as many as possible. 

They had noticed you, they had started firing in your directions, but you continued firing at anyone who tried to raise their gun, bullets flying through the air. The plasma from their guns hit your general direction, setting the tents on fire. But you needed to immobilize them the best you could, which meant staying your ground until you were out of bullets.

Less people. They seemed to be running away from you, jumping over any ruins and snow banks they could. Did they fear you and your old ass weapon? Good, because they should.

Hearing an infamous click, you suddenly got to your feet and started running. They were bringing out the ‘big guns’ meaning there’d be an explosion soon. Another click, and they were ready, fuck, you couldn’t even think, only focused on running through the snow.

A battle cry and loud gunshots. You turned, there was no third click. Men and women alike were screaming. 

No.

No your…  
Your teammates had attacked them while you were distracting them. 

There was no time to feel proud you needed to support them. Continuing to run, you ran around the base, avoiding the tent fire. 

Shit, shit fuck, 

Tent fire.

 

Close to ammunition?!

This was so incredibly bad; this place would blow the fuck up! You yelled towards your team. “Run!” Simple enough, yet your command fell on deaf ears, they were focused on killing the ambushers.

Running for your life, you knew you had to get as far away as possible. The snow and wind made it hard, hitting you in your face. Adrenaline forcing you to run. Fuck, you were so incredibly cold. 

Sure enough, the tent went up in the air, a big explosion erupted, and you fell forward due to the force, clutching your ears. 

 

You could die right here, this was a nice place, it was so fucking cold. But your adrenaline shook you, ‘get up’, your body was screaming in pain, but pushed you to your feet. You weren’t hurt, not badly anyways, which meant go back to your team mates. Which is what you did. 

Turning back towards the camp, you could see soldiers running like mad chickens, they were panicked and in pain. They needed you, and you were not going to deny them that. Running towards the outlines of the base, you found a soldier, who was screaming. Screamers meant that they could still breathe. Good, they weren’t too hurt.

“Up.” You took a hold of their hand, and dragged them to their feet. “Join me.” You said, but they were still screaming. That was no good, they were panicked, and you needed them. “Soldier, shut it. You’re alive, and I will keep you alive. Now move!” You grabbed a hold of their arm, and started jogging towards the mess of a base. 

She’d stopped screaming, but you knew they were reluctant in joining you. “No, no let me go!” She plead, but you weren’t going to release her, continuing to drag her towards the bodies on the ground. “Help me get them up. Send them to the facility. Get the information, that’s our mission and we’ll finish it no matter what!” You commanded as you forced the female soldier to the ground and helped up other fallen, yet alive, soldiers. 

Most were badly burnt, and as soon as you got the soldiers that could walk to their feet, you sent them off with your female soldier. She’d calmed down, good girl, and she was willingly helping you bring soldiers to their feet, sending them towards them to the medical facility.

As you were closing in on the explosion area, you heard a loud groan and scream. It came from another direction, but any noise was good, meant they were still alive. Running the best you could towards the noise, behind some old ruins, a soldier lay. 

Covered in bullet wounds and plasma. This was your popsicle soldier, the one you’d helped earlier. He was moving a bit, clutching his sides, coughing. Fuck, it looked bad, the bloody snow around him giving off an indication that he’d soon be dead. But you weren’t going to accept that.

Throwing your medic kit to the ground next to your fallen soldier, you had to work quickly.  
“Hang on buddy, I’ll get you out of here, you’ll be okay.” Opening the kit, you brought out some bandages and a scissor. Cutting open his clothes, you found the mess that was his upper body. Turning to the side, you vomited whatever food you had in you. Which wasn’t much, but enough to make you puke it all.

Hearing some gun shots and blasters go off, you knew the battle was far from over. Taking a look, you could see more enemies showing. Fuck, what kind of information was this?! 

Working quickly, you started keeping a pressure on the wounds. The soldier was crying, and coughed. “I’m not going to make it am I?” You could hear him whisper, but you just needed to work faster. You could save him.

“You are, you most definitely are, I’ll save you, I’m 5-308 remember?!” You yelled, as you tried to bandage whatever you could, but the blood was pumping out so fast. Faster than you could work. “It’s okay, I died for you 5-308.” No, no he was not dying.

He stopped keeping a pressure on his wounds, and you moved his hands back. Don’t give up yet, you wanted to scream. “I saw your shots,” he coughed a bit, blood coming up. 

No. 

“I knew they’d kill you, and I acted against your order. I needed to save you, you’re so beautiful 5-308.” He couldn’t leave you, not when he was saying shit like that. 

“You’re going to be fine, damn it!” You yelled, tears forming. You were not losing another one, you were not going to lose someone ever again, you could save him, you knew you could. You’d been through worse.

“If I’d made it, I’d really have wanted you to be my girlfriend. You’re so beautiful 5-308, I’d have loved you like no one else could have.” Fuck, he was giving up, but you were not going to. “Fuck let’s go on a date when you’re better then, come on, don’t give up. Not now.”

Your heart was breaking, tears streaming as the cold Russian wind hit your face, making the droplets crystallize. The enemy was closing in, and the female soldier came up behind you and tried to drag you away from the dying soldier. 

 

“Get the fuck out of here!”

Come on fucking breathe.

“Let them fucking go!”

No, no you won’t.

“Let them go! You have to run!”

You won’t leave them.

 

“No! I can do this, I can save them, I can!”

You knew how to do this; you could work with this. Just a couple open bullet wounds right? It’s an easy fix in the middle of this mission. No big deal, you just needed to keep pressure on this soldier’s wounds. Bandages pressed harshly against their wounds, you just needed some help to get them out of here. 

“They’re dead, just fucking run 5-308! Run!”

You’re not going to run. You’d rather die than leave this soldier, if they were still breathing, which they fucking were, you could save them. Their chest rising, up and down, come on, just hold on. Their breathing slowed, no, not now. You won’t let them die.

“Fuck, just let them go and run!”

‘Running, that’s what you should be doing,’ your mind screamed at you while you were trying to save this bloodied mess of a person. They had been shot, several times.  
Losing them was not an option, but you knew that’s what would happen. 

The enemy was closing in, but all you could focus on was trying every method you knew to rescue this dying teammate of yours. 

“Hold on, come on!”

They coughed and looked at you until they didn’t. Staring blankly at your forehead, no. No. Good, old fashioned CPR, that’s what you needed to do now. 30-2, press chest while singing ‘Staying Alive’, two blows. They weren’t moving, but you continued. Practically hearing your enemies breathing down your neck, you continued to try and rescue the soldier. 

Hope was all you had as of right now.

“Hands where I can see them!” 

You’d lost him. He was gone. You took a hold of him and started shaking them. 

“Wake up! Wake up damn it! Damn it to hell wake up!”

He wasn’t going to.

“Hands!” 

You complied to your enemies’ command. Whimpering while tears were streaming, you almost couldn’t breathe. Your enemies said something, not to you, but you weren’t focusing on them. Rather than the body in front of you. He was young, in his twenties like you. You’d turned 23 just two weeks back. He was younger than you, that much you knew.

“To your feet.” You rose, hands still in the air. “Walk.” They pushed you forward, and you almost toppled over the fallen soldier. You’d remember his bravery for as long as you lived. He’d saved you.

They led you to snowmobiles, blinded and gagged you, tied your hands and legs, and placed you in the cart behind them. No one else was in the cart, which meant that you’d be held captive alone. The others must have gotten to the facility. Good.

 

“Who are you?” 

“Where are you from?”

“Why are you here?”

Questions like these kept being answered over and over, and you were tired. Very tired, exhausted. The adrenaline had long since subsided, and was replaced with fatigue. An eventful night, and now it was morning. They were professionals, at least they seemed to be.

The room you’d been placed in was cold, and you shivered, giving off a little yet loud sniffle.  
The grey cement walls looked as tired as you, but you couldn’t focus on that, you needed to give the person in front of you, information about you.

Not to say that you were willing to give them everything. The man interrogating you was an old Russian man, very heavy accent, his English was understandable, but just barely.  
The chair was uncomfortable, but at least you weren’t chained up against a wall or anything. 

“Our men were killed,” He started giving you a frown, “and here you’re sitting, almost smiling. You’re sick, aren’t you. Tell us, why did we find the weapon they were killed with on you.” Not good. But you weren’t going to tell him it was you, you’d have to give someone else the blame, or you’d be dead where you were sitting.

“Who do you think?” Snarky replies, not good. Giving you a look, he took out a knife. “Tell me, or you’ll only be able to count to nine.” Threatening to cut off your fingers? Fine, you’d tell him.

“Would you believe it was me?” You asked, as he stabbed the table, right between your fingers. The whole action made you jump and you brought your fingers off the table. He would do it.

“Who was it? I know it wasn’t you, you’re too…” He made a motion, gesturing to your body and face, “You’re not a fighter. Too cute.” He didn’t fucking know you, that means you had an advantage. “The soldier I was desperately to save, he… did it, he was sending us away to escape, they chose to fight… I cowered and ran, but returned after I heard an explosion.” 

The man scoffed, but seemed pleased with your answer. “See Солнышко, telling the truth isn’t so hard.” Podsol- what now? Sol must mean sun,’ was he calling you sunshine? You definitely didn’t feel like a ray of sunshine, and probably didn’t even look the part.

“You told me about a mission, Солнышко, what was your mission?” Fuck. If they’d gotten any other person and they’d told them what mission, you were on… You couldn’t lie…  
“Look for information in the ruins.” Well, that’s one way of putting it, you were technically looking for information.

He leaned in, narrowed his eyes at you. “Any specific information?” Shaking your head, you were just told to gather whatever information you could find from the medical facility.  
“Good. Don’t go near the ruins.” This made you curious, why did he not want you there?

Interjecting, you asked, “Why not?” This caused him to frown, not at you, but at something. “There’s still deadly operational omnics inside.” No. If he was serious, you’d sent your team mates to their death!

“We’ve been inside, gotten all the information we need.” Covering your face with your hands, your head was hurting. This couldn’t be happening, this wasn’t happening. “Солнышко, you okay?” You weren’t fine, not at all.

“I…” you started, what should you say? What could you say? ‘My teammates have been sent to their death please help them?’, you were captured! ‘My head hurts because I just had to witness lots of death?’, how will that even help with your situation? Best to not push your luck.

“Just a headache.” The man looked worried, why you didn’t know, maybe you reminded him of someone. “Sorry.” He said, and you looked confused, “We thought you were someone else, Talon has been snooping around.” Oh, they have? They knew of you, and had co-operated with you previously, maybe they’d come to your rescue?

“Talon means no good, and we’re not a big resistance group, but we have information we’d not like to fall into the enemies’ claws.” He said looking a bit solemn, a resistance group with important information? Sounded like you were in the right place after all.

The door opened, another man came in, this one with some burn scars along his face. “Are you done interrogating the-” He started and looked you over. Wait, was he visibly undressing you? “The prisoner.” Licking his lips, you knew he had impure intentions. “I’m done, Vlad, make it quick, don’t want my Солнышко to feel any pain.”

Any pain? You pondered, before the thought crossed you. You’d thought they weren’t going to kill you, but here you were, about to be offed by some guy called Vlad in the middle of Russia while your teammates were fighting for their life against ‘deadly operational omnics’. Fuck, you were going to have to do shit you didn’t want to.

“You’re going to kill me?” You asked, in a panicked voice, as Vlad grabbed your arm. The old man who’d interviewed you looked away, he seemed so hurt, but you were angry. You didn’t know what you had expected, he had threatened to cut off your fingers off with a knife just minutes ago. He had a knife. 

A knife.

Just what you’d need. Falling on top of the man, you reached for his knife, pretending to have toppled over due to fatigue. You were tired, and you probably looked the part as well. “Sorry.” You said getting to your feet, trying your best to hide it in your sleeve.

“Damn, you’re a clumsy one aren’t you?” ‘Vlad’ said, “Dimitri, I’ll personally make sure she’s relieved of any horrible pain. She’ll only feel pleasure.” Nasty, if you were going to have to stab anyone, he’d be the first one.

 

You’d been led to another room; this one was however very different from the previous one. It was completely empty, empty rooms meant death. “Against the wall.” You followed his command. Opening the knife, you were mentally preparing yourself for what was to come. Killing someone up close was a lot more difficult.

“Now, spread.” He said, his voice filled with lust, he was getting off on this. Close to your back, you could feel his bulge against the fabric. Your woollen pants the only thing keeping a space between your ass and this man’s dick. 

“I’ll make you so happy, please you, you’re so…” he took some of your hair, smelling it, and you had to keep yourself from stabbing him right then and there. Needing to get him completely off guard. “Intoxicating.” You could deal with some grabs here and there, but when he brushed against your inner thigh with what you imagine was his dick, you turned.

The knife was now in his neck and he was lying on the ground. You had mentally blanked, and could only focus on moving. ‘Out.’ You thought kicking down the door, shouldn’t have used such bad hinges if they didn’t want their prisoners to escape.

 

Avoiding the bullet rain was hard, good thing you were light on your feet and they were inexperienced with old fashioned guns. Must’ve used up their plasma ammo on your team. Another one had fallen, death didn’t seem real anymore. Some closed their eyes, some didn’t. They looked like little dolls, lying so still or screaming out in pain.

 

“5-308 on all channels, requesting back up, SOS, coordinates are…” You looked at some script on the wall which resembled codes for coordinates. You’d gotten to a room filled with fully functional phones, walkies, comm links, and other strange devices which you knew could be used to contact the outer world. You could only hope someone would pick up.

“5-308 on all channels, reque-” You hadn’t managed to finish before you heard some noise on the other line, thank god, someone was responding. It was blurry, you could barely hear it. There was definitely someone talking. Turning up the volume, you put the comm link in your ear. “5-308.” They said, were they asking about who you were? “Confirm identity.” 

“This is the 5-308.” Was that confirmation enough? Seemed to be as they continued to respond. “Coordinates?” You gave them yet again, hoping they’d get it. “Back up is coming, 5-308.” That was probably the best thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life. If you ever figured out who the person who’d sent you back up, you’d definitely marry them.

 

Staying put, you were waiting. For back up. For enemies. For anymore responses. Anything really. You’d tried asking who were sending back up, but there’d been no response. Not pushing your luck, you were alone trying to dry off blood the best you could. It made you sick to your stomach, especially when you were covered in it.

Spitting on your arms, you were trying to try the dried blood on the walls. Not hygienic, but this wasn’t your home nor was it your blood. The white walls got long red bloody marks. Well done, you’ve successfully renovated the place. You daren’t touch your face or look in anything with a reflection. Your face must be covered.

 

There’d passed an hour, no one had come for you, and you didn’t know whether that was good or not. But hope was all you had right now. Closing your eyes, you took a deep shaky breath. In and out. The iron smell was nauseating, but you’d already puked. Fuck, don’t, don’t think back. You needed something to reveal the pain.

Fuck, you could use something, whatever. Quite possible alcohol, something strong too. Anything to make you better. In solitude, you needed to stop thinking, stop focusing on your intrusive thoughts, only focus on getting ready.

Bout how could you have been ready for what was to come next?

A loud bang on the metal door, and explosion, the door fell down and you had barely managed to move to the side. A woman entered. Her outfit was strange, but that wasn’t the strangest part about her. Her skin was purple.

She looked to you, and you felt as though she could see right through your soul with her yellow eyes. Jumping her would prove futile, so you put your hands in the air. She walked up to you, she wasn’t big, shorter than you. But definitely more experienced than you, which meant that fighting her would give you an 80 % chance of failure.

Gulping, you suddenly found it difficult to talk. Fear striking you like a truck. She opened her mouth. But you interrupted her, it was clear what she was about to ask. “5-308.” She looked a bit taken aback, her brow raised. Then she did something a bit unexpected, she smirked.

“Glad to finally make an acquaintance. You killed those men?” Was she… She was definitely referring to the ones you’d ghosted on the way to this room. Giving off a slight not, she hummed. “You my… m-my back up?” You asked looking at her. “If I wasn’t you’d be dead where you’re standing.” 

That’s when you noticed her weapon, a sniper rifle. Another gulp erupted from your throat. You knew she was dangerous, so you were grateful she was there to help you.  
Walking back into the hallway, you could see bloodied prints from your boots, mustn’t have been too hard for her to find your location then.

“Where we going?” You whispered, keeping close to the wall. She walked in the middle of the hallway, as if there was no danger at all. Maybe you were paranoid, but her move was downright idiotic and you wanted to pull her behind you. She was your back up, not the other way around. She didn’t answer you, just kept on walking. The clack sounds her heels gave off were so loud you were about to snap.

“Out.” She said continuing to walk, and looked back to you, you were a bit further behind. “Do keep up. He hates waiting when there’s no need to.” ‘He’?  
You didn’t want to question her, so you started to walk faster, almost sprinting. It was as if she knew the facility inside out, she moved excellently through the hallways.

A mix of gunshots and screams could be heard in the distance; someone was definitely fighting. “Seems like he’s enjoying himself.” You thought you heard her whisper in French. You’d taken a couple classes during your spare time at base, when you weren’t working or cooking, you’d be found studying.

Closing in on where the ruckus was coming from, you could feel yourself growing anxious. Not wanting to fight anymore, ever again, you could feel your body wanting to slow. You mind however screamed that you should follow this purple skinned woman.

The metal door had been blown down, just like the other one had earlier. Already smelling the gunpowder and blood. Damn, if you weren’t nauseous before, you were even more so now. Pressing down the urge to vomit, you moved up behind your ‘back up’. She stopped. 

“You done?” she asked, whomever was in the room stopped firing, and tossed something to the ground, you could hear it from the ‘clank’ noise it made. Your hearing was still pretty great, even if it technically should be shit.

She’d stepped into the room, but you didn’t feel like moving, knowing you’d be faced with a bloodbath. They were apparently talking to each other, just a couple words. Putting a hand over your eyes, you took a step into the room. Hiding your face, not a particularly wise decision, but one that seemed necessary at the moment.

“This is her, 5-308.” You could hear the woman say, and you leant against the doorway. ‘Coolest kid on the block’ look, yet your face still hidden from the world. “She’ll be joining us.” You could hear her say, which seemed weird, considering that this was supposed to be a rescue mission. Wasn’t it?

They weren’t talking anymore, it was quiet, you didn’t want to look. You didn’t want to see anymore death. “Stop being a child, put down your hand.” You could hear her say, but you weren’t going to. No more death, you couldn’t handle seeing any more. 

Then you felt a hand on your leg, which made your hand automatically move. You looked down, and there lay a bloodied ‘Dimitri’. He looked up at you pleading for your help.  
“Солнышко…” Putting a foot on his throat, you stomped down, and he was gone.  
Graphic.

Looking up at the roof, your breathing was beginning to turn uneven. Fuck, you weren’t going to have a panic attack now. “You’re finishing the mission. Get information.” You told yourself. Then you remembered what Dimitri had said earlier, they had some information.

“We should find their archives, according to this group they could have some information I need.” You weren’t going to look at them, just the roof, which had marks after bullets and blood splatter. “Where?” you heard the woman ask. “Don’t know, what floor are we on?” You asked.

“Third, there are 7 floors to this facility.” She responded. 7 floors and you were on the third one… “Basement?” you asked her. “Yes.” Closing your eyes yet again, you turned away, not facing them. “Then that’s where we need to go.” You said walking back into the hallway, you hoped they’d follow you. 

Noticing little signs on the wall, you tried to move through the hallways, looking for a staircase which could get you downstairs. “You don’t know where you’re going.” You could hear the woman say, you technically didn’t, but you knew a lot about architecture, which meant if you turned left soon you’d get to a staircase.

“Not 100% of course, but I can manage just fine.” You turned to the left, and there it was. Emergency staircase, that went down to the basement. Opening the door slowly, you could hear a creek, fuck, if someone had been on the other side they’d definitely have heard you. Moving quickly down the stairs, you were being as quiet as you could. Then you heard stomps and clacks, did they not know how to be fucking quiet?

The urge to hush them had to be pushed down, don’t shout at your saviours. Unless they get you killed first by making a fucking ruckus. Well, you don’t know exactly how that’d work, maybe you’d come back as a ghost and haunt their ass? Yes, you’d definitely do that. 

 

“You got a USB stick?” 

“No. I have something better.”

Finding the room filled with different kinds of papers, files and really old computers, you were doing your best to find anything of interest. Successfully managing to open the old computers, you couldn’t believe that their password had been so fucking easy ‘Russ14’, amazing. 

The purple woman plugged something into the computer, and it seemed to be downloading information. The other person, which you had yet to see, seemed to be guarding the door. Roaming through the files, while letting the woman have their way with the computer, you looked for anything of importance. Finding an empty planner, you started filling it with whatever seemed to be important. 

‘Weapons’, ‘Plans’, ‘State’, any words that stood out on the paper were taken into the planner. Lots of it was in Russian, which made it difficult to understand. You just hoped you picked the right ones. Packing the planner, you finished up. Looking to the woman, seemed like she had as well.

“Got everything?” You asked, grabbing another stack of files. She only gave you a look as a response, but it was enough for you to understand. She was done, and so were you.  
“Where we heading?” 

She stepped out into the hallway, “Bringing you back to base.” Oh really? How kind of them. Seemed a bit sarcastic, but you were genuinely glad that they’d be bringing you back home. But you still hadn’t entered the medical facility, so you hoped there was enough gathered enough information from this archive.

“My team, will they be brought back as well?” What a stupid question, they were already rescuing you, putting their life on the line, and you were being such an insufferable ungrateful shit. “Dead.” She said walking up the stairs.

Oh… You’d expected that, it was all your fault… “Omnics?” You asked, looking down at your boots. “No. Do you not realize where you are?” Not really, you’d been blindfolded. Wait, was this, it couldn’t be.

“This is the medical facility…” You whispered. You’d sent them right into their waiting hands, fuck. God, your eyes were stinging, tears threatening to spill, but you still needed to be on edge in case of danger. “Fuck, fuck!” You yelled, you were going to curse for as long as you could.

“I fucking, god damn it! Fucking pieces of lying fucks, fucking, they’re dead!” You were frustrated, it was better to get angry than crying and being sad. “Shut it.” You heard a deep rumble from behind you and you jumped, holy fuck someone had definitely gotten a huge benefit from puberty. 

It came from the guy who’d earlier gone on a murder rampage, but right now you weren’t taking any shit, being too pissed at yourself and the world to care. “Yea?! Why don’t you make me?” You hissed at the guy, and stomped a bit, moving faster.

Feeling something grab your head harshly, metal dug into your skull, the person turned you around. First impression, scary fucking monster in a mask. Yelping a bit, you took an overall look of the person with a skull mask. “I got a gun in my pocket that’d very willing to do so.” 

If you weren’t certain that he was talking about his literal guns that could kill you, you’d think he’d be referring to something else. Which meant that you were fucked, maybe even literally. You’d argue with him about phrasing, but fucking didn’t. You did not want to die when you’d gotten as far as this.

He was quiet, his metal claws still dug into your skull. He seemed to scoff and released you when you didn’t respond. What could you even say? ‘Yes please, kill me with your monster dick!’ it just wouldn’t make sense.

“Widowmaker.” The guy said, who was Widowmaker, was he talking to you? “Reaper.” The purple woman said, oh. She must be this ‘Widowmaker’ person then. Fuck, this guy, he was not scary and intimidating with a voice to match, but he was also oozing literal fucking smoke. 

“What the fuck.” You whispered, hoping that they didn’t hear you. They could probably see you though, because your eyes widened when the guy began fading into a black fog. Sharing a look with the woman you now knew as Widowmaker, she seemed unfazed by the fact that this person was turning into smoke. Was this normal?

 

Widowmaker had led you onto the roof, where the guy who’d turned into black smoke waited. A helicopter, chopper as you called it to annoy superiors, was closing in. Looking up you could see it struggling. “We had to go by ski in order to come here, the winds too powerful for them to land.” You mentioned casually, still looking at the helicopter.

“How were you going to get picked up then?” Widowmaker asked. Wait, how were you going to get picked up again? The plan had actually not said anything about that, had they anticipated that you’d all die? What the fuck.

“I suggest going back to our drop point. It’s 13 hours if we go by ski, I can see what I can manage to salvage from our base. They seem to have snowmobiles as well, we’ll use them.”  
You said turning back to the staircase, you were going back down all the flights of stairs. 

“Do you even know the way back to the drop point?” You heard her ask you, but you had a somewhat great sense of direction. That and you knew the drop point coordinates. “Yes, ye of little faith.” You feigned offence, walking down the stairs. They followed, seemed like you were going up and down a lot. 

Annoying, but at least you got your daily exercise and a nice butt. But your mind was focused elsewhere, actually you had zero focus, you were just walking. Dissociation had kicked in, and you were blanking. 

 

Finding yourself outside yet again, your shivering was what had brought you ‘back’ to this realm. The resistance group had their snowmobiles outside, luckily covered by a thick plastic wrapping. Taking it off, you needed to examine it. Fuck, keys. You needed keys for them to operate. 

Cold wind hitting your underdressed body, you felt like death. Probably looked the part as well, as you turned you hit the now materialized black smoke guy. He looked down at you. “Keys.” He said handing you a set of keys. This guy, he could get it. 

“Thank you so much.” You said, turning away jumping on top of the snowmobile. Trying to jam in the key, seemed like it was the wrong one. Damn, you were so cold. Oh wait, you’re such a dense fuck, there was a set of number on the keys, which meant that you needed to look for a snowmobile with that number.

Roaming through the set of snowmobiles you found the right one. A black one, how fitting. Sighing, you took off the plastic sheet and sat atop the freezing seat. There was a clutching system, which meant it’d be resembling how to drive stick on really old cars. Widowmaker was already sitting on top of one. Seemed like she’d gotten it to work without keys.

You should ask her to teach you how if you had the time.

“Drive.” The skull dude seated himself behind you holding around your waist. Damn, he was so close, but you shouldn’t focus on that. Only on getting from point A to point B. “Let’s see here…” You whispered, trying to figure out the differences between the snowmobile and a manual car.

Somehow you’d started it, and somehow you’d actually managed to get it going. Albeit a bit choppy, you seemed to do a far better job than Widowmaker who was quite a bit behind. The snowflakes that hit your face made it hard to see and you were really cold. The only warmth coming from the guy behind you. 

The base hadn’t been too far from the facility, just 30 minutes by foot and 5 minutes by snowmobile. Snow had turned the bloodbath into that of a beautiful wonderland. How grim. Reaper, or whatever, had apparently turned into fog again, and you were left cold. Time to rummage through the burnt tents for anything you could use.

Stepping over snowbanks, you hoped that you weren’t accidentally stepping on someone’s body. ‘Don’t think about it, it’s just snow, just snow’ you tried to remind yourself, but convincing yourself was hard as you could feel yourself stepping on something that must be a frozen body. 

Heading towards one of the tents that were still standing you looked through to find anything of importance. You did find something. A spare tent, warm clothes, a whole backpack filled to the brim with necessary supplies and a map. You also packed down that tent, just so there’d be enough tents for all of you. Thanks dumb luck, some force out there was trying to make you feel better and you were eternally grateful. Dressing up, you could finally feel your fingers again.

Bringing the supplies with you, you headed back towards the snow mobile. “I found gold!” You yelled, handing Widowmaker a spare jacket. She didn’t thank you, yet she put it on. Fine, be ungrateful then, you thought putting the backpack into the space under the seat. The scary man materialized again and you almost had a fucking heart attack. He’s fucking great at spooking you.

 

“The lights will be out in a couple hours; I suggest we set up camp here.” You say, already pulling out the spare tent and digging a bit around in the snow. They didn’t help you, only staring as you worked your ass off. In their defence they had saved you, they were probably exhausted. 

Setting up the two tents had taken minutes, you were quite proficient when it came to things like that. Plus, you’d already done it a couple hundred times, experience is key in situations like this. 

“I’m taking this tent.” Widowmaker said heading into the smaller of the two tents. 

Damn. 

Fuck. 

You were going to share a tent with the scary dude. You’d die tonight wouldn’t you. Heading inside the tent you took of your boots and wet clothes. Leaving a bit of space for the guy to come in after you. He did, reluctantly. Seems like he didn’t want to sleep in a tent with you either, who could blame him? You looked fucking awful.

Zipping down the tent door, he turned and sat down on the built in mat. “Sorry.” You said, quietly. Getting stuck with you wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but certainly not the best. Not that you tried to be disgusting on purpose, you just were. You think. Maybe not. You were however, covered in dried blood from your enemies, which could definitely be considered disgusting.

“I’m just going to… take off some clothes.” You said, taking off your jacket and outer layer of pants. Untying your bun, you were amazed at how long it had managed to stay like that. Grateful for the sponge donut, you pocketed it. Pulling out about 50 different bobby pins, and running your fingers through your messy hair, with a defined bend to it, you felt like you really needed a shower. Feeling your hair, it was definitely greasy. 

Opening the backpack, you found some dry clothes. Time to change, you thought taking off your sweater. You weren’t sure whether he was watching you or not, but you really needed to get changed. The bra you were wearing was also drenched, which meant that you needed to take that off as well.

Never mind that you were stripping in front of a stranger, what was most important right now was getting warm. If that meant turning stark naked, then so be it. Maybe you could distract the two of you by talking?

“So, I never asked but, who’re you with?” You were trying your best to unhook your bra, from behind. Your fingers were too freaking cold; it could take some time. “Talon.” Oh… They’d come through for you yet again… Damn, you really owed them now. 

Hearing him shift, you were still struggling to unhook your bra. Suddenly you could feel cold metal against your back. Letting out a loud gasp, more so because you were shocked rather than cold, you could feel him unhooking your bra. Must’ve gotten annoyed with your struggles.

“Thanks.” Putting on a dry sweater, you were now looking through the bag for pants and panties. You could deal with wearing men’s underwear, worst case scenario, but there was no underwear. Fine then, going commando until your panties dry then. 

Pants were quickly taken off, along with your army panties. Your bare ass visible to the world, or rather to the masked man. Taking a deep breath, you couldn’t focus on that, you needed to get warm. 

Leaning a bit forward, you were hoping that he wasn’t looking, he had looked when you’d taken off your bra. If you weren’t in a snow storm in the middle of Russia, with dead teammates, bloodied hands and a masked man that resembled the grim reaper, the whole situation might be considered hot.

Searching for the pants, you didn’t really find a new pair. Had you gotten undressed for no reason? Put the wet pants back on then. Sitting back down on your ass you sighed, you’d been so ready to put on fresh warm pants and here you were literally half naked.

It was just your luck that you noticed, that you’d only managed to misplace the fresh. Humming, you were now laying them out in front of you, and you stuck your freezing feet through the pants and dragged it up to your hips.

“I was worried that I’d taken off my pants for no reason.” You whispered to yourself. Finding some woollen socks, you put them on. They were so soft, which was unlike anything in the military. It was almost the only thing you looked forward to every morning. Putting on a fresh pair of socks.

Leaning back on the mat, you looked towards the scary skull man. He wasn’t even looking at you, just staring blankly into the air. Good boy, don’t look. “You hungry?” You asked still laying on the mat. “Don’t need to eat.” 

“Really? Everyone needs to eat,” you said as a matter of fact, “Gotta eat to stay alive.”

“I’m not alive.” Wow, edgy, rolling your eyes and sending him a look, you hoped it went unnoticed. “Whatever you say, I think there’s some energy bars or something in the backpack, you want?”  
“Already told you that I don’t need food.” His loss, you sat up and cracked your back.  
Then your neck, and knuckles.

Opening some pockets, you searched for anything edible. Gum, cigarettes and a lighter, nothing was really edible. Then you noticed it. A pocket flask. Sweet person who’d packed this bag, what was in this! Excitedly you opened it and smelled the contents.

Whiskey. 

Being a lightweight plus strong alcohol meant that you’d get your sweet release. Taking a long sip, you could feel the contents running down your throat. 

“So fucking good.” You smiled, and continued to roam through the backpack. At the bottom of the bag you found an energy bar. “This day just keeps turning better.” You said unwrapping the sweet treat. Laying back down you were staring at the ceiling of the tent. 

The wind made the tent walls gently sway, but you’d secured it so well that it wouldn’t fly away. But you were feeling lonely, you needed to socialize a bit. Taking another swig and a bite of the energy bar, you looked to the edgelord. 

“You still not feeling like eating? Even if you’re ‘dead inside’ you still need nourishment.” He looked down on you, when black smoke started to materialize. Oh, that’s right, how could you have forgotten. “Fine then, want some alcohol instead?” You said while handing him the flask. “Not when I’m on a mission.”

Shrugging you thought ‘more for me’. “I don’t tend to drink on missions either though, but whenever I lose a member I usually pour myself something. Lost some good soldiers yesterday. Especially this one kid. About 2-3 years younger than me.” You said sadly, taking another swig.

“If anyone deserved to die yesterday, it was certainly not him. His dead body is out there in the cold and we can’t even get it back for his family. Fucking hate it.” Another swig. “Or the girl, she didn’t deserve to die either. She was doing an amazing job, and her death was on fucking me. Sent her to the medical facility. Right to her death. I’m great aren’t I?” You asked taking yet another swig. Shaking the bottle, there was still a lot left.

“Getting my ass captured yet again, what’s up with that? I always get nicknames too; they never really know my numbers or call me by name.” He looked to you, “5-308, that’s what most people know me as now, not my name, never my name.” A bite of the energy bar.

“Would you guys even have come for me unless I’d told you my numbers?” You asked, still chewing the bits of the energy bar. “No.” Short yet precise answer. Nodding your theory was confirmed, “That’s what I thought.” 

“Talon has earnt a favour from me, let your bosses know.” This made him grab you by your hair, dragging you close to his face, “Ow, what the-”” They are not my fucking boss. I am THE boss.”” Fine you’re the boss or whatever, just let my hair go!” 

He released you and you scrambled away from him, you were shaking a bit. He terrified you. “I’m so sorry, I can’t apologize enough, I just assumed… I don’t know what I assumed- I just,” 

“Shut. Up.” 

You gulped loudly. The two of you had been fine just a couple minutes ago, how had you managed to fuck up so quickly? Looking away from him, you took another swig this one significantly longer. 

The drink got caught in your wind pipe and you swallowed and coughed. 

“Fuck.” You coughed, your face turning red. Making noise again, this was going to be such a long night. Feeling enough socialized for a day, you were not going to attempt speaking to him again. Instead you decided to finish drinking the contents of the flask.

Chugging it all down, you were begging for the good buzz it’d give you, and who were this Whiskey to deny you that happiness? 

 

About 15 minutes later and you knew that you were more than buzzed. You hadn’t eaten anything besides the energy bar. You were tired, so very tired.

“’m tired…” you said stretching and giving off a yawn. “Heat me up.” You said, not to anyone in particular, not really. But damn if your wishes weren’t going to be answered. The scary dude, that had yelled at you and almost ripped your hair off of your scalp, lied down next to you.

Maybe he was just tired as well, but you were going to use this opportunity, as if he welcomed you into his arms with an open invitation for cuddles. Only if he said anything would you let yourself pry off of him. But as of now, no one could make you let go of him.

“You are so damn warm. Don’t know how, but you are.” Draping your foot over his hip you let his pelvis hit yours. “Warm.” You said, as you put your arm around his neck, pulling his masked face close to yours. 

Examining his mask through half lidded eyes, you were trying to study it the best you could. Your faces only inches away, he could probably even smell the alcoholic stench from your mouth as you breathed. With each breath your chest would hit his. 

“I’m really tired.” You said, again, now resting your forehead against his. His right hand on your back, his left supporting his head. His clawed hand moved to your sides and you let out a little laugh.

“Fuck man, don’t tickle me when I’m trying to be tired and sexy.” Why were you trying to be sexy? Wait, did you have a thing for this masked stranger?

His hand moved again, hips to ass, giving it a tight squeeze. Another laugh erupted from your throat, this one was more of a nervous laugh than anything. He placed his right foot between your thighs, his thigh brushing against your crotch. Damn you hated that word, ‘crotch’.

He moved his foot and with no panties on, the sensation of the fabric being brushed against your vagina felt sensational. Maybe if it’d been jeans and you were commando it’d not have felt as good, but the soft material from your pants actually made you feel a lot better.

Rubbing a bit against his thigh, you were almost about to start humping his leg. Damn, you shouldn’t have had all that to drink, but this felt good. Anything that made you feel good was welcomed.

Moving, you were now on top of him, no longer lying side to side. Sitting up, you started stretching. You could feel his gaze on you, yet you were unsure of how to feel. Were you really going to have sex with a stranger? It just didn’t feel right.

Your hips moved back and forth, you were going to get him off without actually doing the act. Slowly, you were teasing him a bit. But instead of throwing you back to the ground and fucking you senseless, he was letting you do your thing.

Pulling some of your hair behind your ears, you were hoping you didn’t look too bad. Why would he have let you done anything if you did? Insecurities pushed aside you really felt like seeing his face. 

Leaning down you tried your best to support yourself and not fall face first right on top of his mask. That would only result in pain for the two of you. Only inches close to his face, your eyes were begging him to take off the mask.

“Not going to happen.” Really? How disappointing. “Fine then, this isn’t going to be happening either then.” You pushed yourself off of him, but he didn’t plea for you to get back up. 

Okay, so you were the sex crazed maniac here? 

The virgin?

That’s at least what it felt like, considering that it seemed like you wanted it a lot more than him. But really, you shouldn’t have expected anything from him, ‘No means no’ and all that.  
Sitting next to him, you put your hands on your face, before roughly pulling back some hair into a ponytail. “Sorry, no means no and all that. I’m sorry if you felt pushed to do something you weren’t comfortable with doing.”

You were a little disappointed, but to hell with it, you weren’t about to sexually harass your saviour, even if you were drunk and horny. Lying back down on the ground, you were going to sleep off the buzz instead.

“Didn’t say no,” You heard, his gruff voice sending chills down your spine. “Not going to take off my mask.” Oh? Wait had you been completely insensitive about that? What if it was a mask that helped him breathe, and you’d kill him by removing it? Maybe that’s why he had such a… special voice.

“Fine.” You said turning towards him again, “But I’m not really in the mood for sex. You want me to stroke you though?” What the hell were you saying?! If you weren’t so fucking drunk, you’d probably have screamed at yourself.

You were awkward when it came to anything close to romance. Even if you’d dated before, romance still seemed fresh and new to you. Although you don’t think something would blossom between you and skull face here, you could at least do him a ‘favour’ or whatever you’d call this. 

Be it interest, just general curiosity, you wanted to do something tonight, and if he was willing then by all means. You’d make him moan your name. Or something like that, you just didn’t want to focus on anything really and since you didn’t feel like sleeping this seemed to be the next best option. 

Giving you a nod, he started unbuckling his belt and pushed down his pants. Half stiff? Tsk, tsk, never half ass anything, always whole ass something. A quote you’d heard from an old show that still stuck with you. You were going to have to work… hard.

Seating yourself between his legs, you gently touched his shaft, running a finger up and down his dick. Your hands still held some bloody spots. That was so unhygienic, you needed to wash your hands. “Just going to get some wipes,” You said turning, bending over, your ass turned to his face. Luckily for you there were some washing wipes in the backpack. Whoever had packed this bag was one clever fucker.

Wiping the blood remains off, you turned your head looking at him. He was eyeing your ass, good. Your hands were clean, and ready for some action. “Tell me what you’d like.” You said moving back to your previous spot now grabbing his dick a bit harder. 

Your thumb was on his tip, and you rubbed in in a circular motion. Your right hand took over and you started wanking him. Didn’t seem to be so difficult, those toys that were filled with water and glitter had taught you a really good job on how to wank someone off. But you were still unsure if he enjoyed it. He wasn’t making a sound.

“You can tell me if I’m doing a bad job and want to stop, I’m a big girl, I can take criticism. Plus, it’s your body, you know what you like.” You said as you continued to move your hand back and forth. He grabbed your left arm and looked up, “Don’t fucking stop.” 

That was all you needed to hear, as you continued going a bit faster. Quickening your pace seemed to work as you could hear his raspy and shaky breath. You could feel yourself shaking a bit with excitement. Maybe… You could try something different? 

Thinking about your next move you heard a groan, and you were pushed forward. Letting off a short yelp, your face hit his chest. Not stroking anymore but still holding his dick, you were unsure what he was going to do. 

Using his right hand, he pushed back some of your hair. “Damn, the 5-308, trying to make me cum.” Shit, his deep voice sent chills down your spine and you let out a little moan. But you weren’t supposed to focus on yourself right? You were supposed to get him off.

 

“Fuck.” He said while grinding against you, feeling his dick against the fabric. Thin woollen pants keeping his dick separated from your vagina. Fuck, this felt so good, but you weren’t going to fuck just anyone. Especially someone you didn’t even know well enough to tell their first and last name.

But you wanted to please him some more, you really did. Since you’d already went straight for third base and fucking skipped the two first, maybe you should head for 3.5? Oral.

“You want me to suck you off?” You asked sweetly as you stopped grinding against him. He didn’t even look at you, just at the roof of the tent. “Yes.” That was all it took, as you moved down. He was so hard, just for you. 

He seemed fully erect, and holy fuck, you’d seen an erect penis before, but not ever so close to your face. Pre-cum was already dribbling down his dick. Okay, you could do this. Giving off a little lick, just to take a taste test, you were unsure. It was a bit salty, didn’t really taste a lot, which meant you could probably do this. You think.

Taking another lick, just to test the waters, you tried your best to taste some more of his pre-cum. Could you really do this? You know what, you’d almost died today, sucking someone off was the least of your worries. You took his tip into your mouth, your fingers stroking his shaft. 

‘Take it like a champ’ you thought putting some more in your mouth, damn he was so big. An old friend of yours would have cheered you on and thinking back to it, you suddenly knew exactly what to do. ‘Focus on something else’ was the advice, and you honestly tried.  
Some more of his dick in your mouth, you were going to start the ‘sucking’ part.

Your lips moved back and forth, your mouth filling with saliva. Your tongue licked the underside of his shaft in your mouth, and the rest that you couldn’t get into your mouth was well taken care off by your fingers. Of course you couldn’t forget his balls, which meant one hand one hand was working the rest of his shaft and the other his balls. 

Swearing, you could hear some Spanish curses, ‘Mierda’? Fuck? If you were not completely mistaken. Were you doing a good job? Probably. Feeling him shift he was sitting upright now, looking down on you. He grabbed a hold of the back of your head a pushed you down a bit, taking some more of his dick into your mouth. 

Not being skilled in the line of sucking someone off meant that you still had the ‘choke = puke’ reaction. Swallowing, you could do this. Tears were forming, but you were determined to continue. Bobbing your head up and down, he seemed content as he actually fucking moaned. 

Giving you no warning he came in your mouth, the somewhat warm liquid spilling out of your mouth. Abort mission! You moved away from his dick and swallowed the cum. Damn, was he serious! He could have given you some kind of warning. You coughed a bit some tears streaming, if you’d eaten anything besides that energy bar, you might’ve puked in his lap. 

He put his dick back into his pants and re-buckled his belt and turned away from you. What the fuck, was he being serious. Here you go, stroking and sucking someone off and they turn their back on you. Fine be that fucking way. 

You’d made a huge mistake hadn’t you?

Lying on your side, turned away from him, you could feel some more tears forming. Fuck, you’d just sucked some random person off. You’re so fucking stupid, you moron. 

Giving off a little whimper and hiccup, you felt undesirable, you felt like shit. Wanting to punch your face in, you were not feeling good. He’d just used you to get off, hadn’t he? Just like everyone else, why would this one be different? No one wanted you for you, just for sexual favours and here you’d sucked someone fucking off. Idiot.

Feeling bad didn’t last long, as a hand now pushed you close to a form behind you. What was he doing? Looking for round two? Hah! As if, you’d chomp his dick off the next time. Being angry didn’t help you, and tears were streaming. Fucking incompetent fool! You screamed at yourself, and you hiccupped again. 

He brushed some of your hair away, almost affectionately, but that was fake, wasn’t it? You were just some random stranger, there to please him wherever and whenever he wanted. What a fucking douche! You were working yourself up, he was going to die if he tried something.

“Thank you.” He said, and your anger washed away. Sweet relief, your body felt lighter, and there was no longer a sharp pain in your abdomen. Then you felt something brush against your neck, and you knew it wasn’t his fingers. Was he… kissing your neck? 

His lips trailing up and down your neck, a chill running through your body, you felt so sensitive against him. Did he really take of his mask? You wanted to sneak a peek, but his clawed hand was quickly put over your eyes making you unable to see anything really. 

“No peeking.” His voice wasn’t muffled anymore, but it was still so rough sounding. You were so excited, his little rule of not letting you see his face made you tremble a bit. Turning around to face him, you were about to grab his face, feel it with your hands.

“No.” Fine then, his whole head was off-limits apparently. Instead you were going to focus on trying to feel his muscles through his clothes, starting with his arm, your left hand tracing it up and down.

He kissed your lips, fuck they were soft. You could feel some stubble as you continued to kiss him. Opening your mouth, it didn’t take him long to start running his tongue over yours. Going slow was your go-to make out style, because it’d proven to be much more affectionate and good.

 

Making out for good long minute, you really felt like opening your eyes and looking at him. Your damned curiosity was getting the best of you and the old saying of how ‘the curiosity killed the cat’ on repeat. But then again, the ending was ‘but satisfaction brought it back’. 

 

A short break in-between your kisses, your breathing a bit uneven, you just had to ask. 

“Can I see your face?” 

He stopped kissing you. You already knew you’d get a no, but still didn’t mean that you didn’t want to see him. 

“You’re pushing your luck.”

You knew you were, but honestly you just had to ask. Maybe he was feeling ugly and insecure? Maybe it was just a kink of his to keep his partner blindfolded? Or maybe he just thought you’d look differently at him when you saw his face?

“I’ve been doing that all night, don’t seem like you’ve minded until now.” You said, moving your hand from his muscular arm to his chest. “Worried about something?”  
Giving him a peck on his lips, you were going to continue to pry, deluded by your drunken mind.

“If you’re feeling insecure about something you can tell me. Not like I’m not fucking drunk and I haven’t had Vodka so I won’t judge you for whatever you want to talk about.” Another peck, he wasn’t returning your kisses, and it annoyed you.

“I often feel insecure about my own face as well,” you started, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of him. “Don’t particularly like my nose, but who does? Never met anyone who’s absolutely loved their nose.” 

“Don’t like my cheeks a lot either, I wish they were more defined, just like with supermodels. Cheekbones so sharp they could kill a man.” Giggling, you were feeling a bit giddy, not as emotional as you’d been earlier. 

“I often wish I was prettier, even when I’m complemented on my looks it just… feels fake? As though someone’s just telling it to make me happy. Don’t know why either, I just don’t feel like the part. Even the people who’re supposed to be killing me tells me that, that I… I’m too beautiful for my line of work.”

He hummed, finally he started reacting to what you were saying. Though he didn’t seem particularly interested in what you were saying, it was good that he at least seemed to be listening. 

 

“Not insecure. I’d scare you.”

Oh really, fucking edgy skull man. 

“Oh really now? Me, scared? Please, I’ve seen a lot worse than you think. But if you absolutely believe I’d be ‘terrified’ by your looks, then be that way” You huffed a bit, and lay in his arms, your hands now on his back.

“I suppose we are friends now or whatever?” You whispered to yourself. “Keep watch so I don’t accidentally freeze to death or whatever. Please and thank you.”  
Moving closer into his form you sighed. A happy, relaxed sigh.

 

“We’ll be parting tomorrow. Never going to see each other again. Will you remember me?”

Asking such stupid questions, had you not been drunk, you’d have been so embarrassed.

 

“Yes. I’ll always remember you.”

 

 

 

Shooting up from your bed, you were heaving, drenched in sweat. Shit, you thought to yourself. PTSD often caused you to ‘forget’ memories such as this one right here. But it often came back in the form of dreams. 

Your brother had shifted when he noticed a sudden move, and he fluttered his eyes open.  
He’d been sleeping in your room for the past week, right next to you.

“Fuck I didn’t mean to wake you,” You whispered to his groggy form, “Just go back to sleep bro – I’m okay, I’m fine and you are safe.”

You knew Reaper, and you’d given him oral. There was no way around it, you’d sucked off an enemy of Overwatch. Suddenly it wasn’t so strange that he knew you on a personal level, and personal it was.

Mentally cringing at your memories, you thought back. Maybe it was time to visit those soldier’s graves? Not until you’d told Hana about how you knew Reaper. That was going to be such an awkward conversation. But you’d been drunk, so who could really, honestly, blame you?

Lying back down, you looked at the time on your brother’s wrist watch. 04. In the morning, you should sleep some more. Closing your eyes, you were going to prepare yourself for what was next to come.

Hana’s reaction to you pleasuring her enemy.

Boy, what a talk that’d be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOOOO BOY WHAT A CHAPTER OR WHAT!?!? Seems like we finally know a bit about Reader and Reapers past now, and boi is it exciting.  
> And yea, Reader sucked he dick
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, as always I'm available on Tumblr and Twitter (so if ur in the mood for talking just… Hmu…)
> 
> (And I'm really sorry I haven't been able to post this when I was supposed to. I've been out celebrating 7 days in a row, had to work every day for +7 hours and been on a date, so I'm real sorry I haven't prioritized this fiction. I'll try to get it updated tomorrow, but it'll definitely be a shorter chapter though… Thanks for your patience!)


	20. Uncovered masks

“Don’t flip the fuck out, but I actually remember that I know… you know who.”

Giving you a look of confusion, you should continue, but you didn’t really feel like it. It was important to give her whatever information you could, because last time you’d kept information from her, she’d ended up getting knocked unconscious by you. You had apologised for that but you still slipped a couple ‘Sorry’ her way.

“Met on a mission, just like I… somewhat suspected. Gather whatever information we could from a medical facility. Little did I know that it’d been taken by this group of Russians. I never bothered learning their group name, not like I had the time to.”

She looked worried now, and you wanted to stop. Talking about your missions tended to make a lump form in your throat, the only people you’d talked to about it was your family, and with your brother constantly working, like the workaholic he was, you’d not gotten to vent in a long fucking time. Over half a year, death felt… Unreal.

Gesturing for you to sit down next to her on the couch, you took a glance around the common living room. It’d just been cleaned when Hana came in, and you decided that it was time for you to inform her of your ‘history’ with Reaper.

“My team was attacked, I got… around 10-20 of them, the fire and explosion the rest. My team saved me, or well, this soldier boy who disobeyed my specific orders did. He charged into battle among other brave soldiers to keep me safe.”

Breathing in and out, you could start feeling a pain in your chest, beneath your ribs. Hana took a hold of your hand, and rubbed her thumb over it. Honestly, it made this whole ordeal better. Her soft touch so very comforting, it felt good unlike the pang of pain.

“And this girl, she took a hold of herself, really got herself together, and tried to save her teammates. I sent them to the medical facility, thinking that they’d be safe. I didn’t know.”

A gulp, and another sharp intake of air,

“That’s where they were.”

She looked confused again, confusion and worry was a look she would give you a lot. You should stop putting this much pressure on her, she doesn’t need that, she needs all the peace and quiet she can get. She doesn’t need your fucking problems.

“Talon?”

She asked, and you shook your head.

“No, the group. I was interrogated, almost killed, I… Did something I really hate. Close combat, it just, fucks you up so badly. I wailed like a child the second I came back to base, my superiors had to get my brother to get me to move. In pure shock, I hated myself so much, I got a week off to collect myself and get back to work.”

That’s how it is at times. You don’t always get the chance to load off, sometimes you just have to bite down, and cry for a bit and move on. Not the healthiest or best way to deal with shit, but damn, anything to move forward in life.

“Fuck, really? Thought the military would have given you more time off?”

She asked and you, yet again, shook your head,

“Depends, I was needed, they couldn’t let me leave. When you’re vital for an operation to work, you don’t really get days off to cry your heart out. I was happy to even get 7 days to collect myself. But that’s beside the point. I got to a room full of technical equipment, where I was able to make contact with someone, to get help.”

Taking a little break, you sighed. Hana leaned into your form holding you close, she seemed real upset on your behalf, but hey who wouldn’t be? She was a really good friend.

“Turns out it was Talon who answered, this woman Widowmaker-“

“You met Spider-Bitch?!”

“Yeah, and of course this real scary looking dude, Reaper. Stole a couple snowmobiles, had to set up camp, Widowmaker took a tent and I was left to share.”

At this she visibly cringed and leant back from your form, yet still holding you somewhat close. She gave another look, one that read ‘continue though’. Which you did.

“Got some alcohol, and then one thing led to another and yea.”

She almost jumped away from you like you were a hot stove top that she’d just touched.

“You slept with him!”

Wild accusation, yet still somewhat close to your actual answer.

“No, well literally yes, I slept next to him. Kind of? But well, yea, if you’re asking if we did anything remotely sexual, then you’d be correct. I sucked him off.”

Gagging at you, you instantly regretted telling her. The whole thing would have been somewhat sweet, or whatever, had it not been in that particular situation and you’d both been different people. Hiding your face in your hands, you could feel your heart swell. You were a big fucking idiot; you couldn’t do anything right.

“Hey… Don’t be upset, I… I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting it was all. You don’t seem like the type really, but I guess I was wrong.”

What the fuck kind of accusation was that? Did she just call you a fucking slut to your fucking face? If there was something you couldn’t deal with, was slut shaming, even if you’d not done anything actually bad. Her words stung, and feeling anger bubble and eyes watering, you could blow up if she pushed your buttons just right.

“What do you mean by type Hana? For starters I was fucking drunk, secondly I was not in my right fucking mind at the time I was traumatized and anything good was fucking welcomed, and third of all, it’s not your fucking business who I sleep with or not.”

Okay so you were a bit pissed, just a little bit, nothing you couldn’t handle.

“I was just saying that… You know, there’s no excuse for what I said, I’m so sorry. What you did at the time was not so bad, and hey, the past is in the past, and we learn from history. And all that, anyways, I’m sorry.”

Problem fucking averted, your anger washed away. 

“I’m… Thank you, at the time I didn’t think, and I honestly completely forgot about it, I try to forget as much as possible, but now we know. Now we know how he knows me, we can use that to our advantage?”

You asked questioningly, and she looked somewhat in thought, a hand resting on her chin. Time to come up with some ideas how it can be your advantage, right?

“Do you think he’d like to fuck me? Considering-“

“You are not fucking him. End of story, I don’t feel like letting you anywhere near him.”

“Says the 19-year-old, you’re the baby here, not me, so no need to mother me.”

Sticking her tongue out at you, giving her back a grimace, you continued with your idea.

“But if, only if, he wants to sleep with me, doesn’t that mean that he’ll be letting his guard down? I could… No, I, dumb idea.”

Hana gave off a short nod, although she might’ve misunderstood. Because you wouldn’t sleep with him to let her go in for the kill, you’d do it personally. Even if you hated hand-to-hand and close combat, if that’s what you had to do, you could be willing to. Not now though, that was the previous you, this one didn’t want to kill. This one wanted to heal, get better, definitely a better version of you.

“Should you, you know, inform the old fucker? Because last time you withheld information from you, a lot of shit happened.”

You scoffed, hey maybe you should report on your bowel movement too? Wouldn’t that be fucking interesting, huh? Besides, he had almost killed your fucking brother, and you’d fucking said something so insensitive it wasn’t even excusable, you’d rather not.

“No thanks, he and I are not on good terms. At all.”

But, it seemed like Hana had wanted you to say yes, maybe she didn’t want to end up getting knocked unconscious yet again. She took a deep breath, rubbed her eyes a bit and looked to you.

“Please? I don’t want to see you ever get hurt again, especially over things like this.”

So maybe you should tell him, maybe you should.

“Fine, but I’m not telling him about the tent sharing and dick sucking part.”

Giving you her hand, the two of you shook on it.

 

“Deal.”

 

“Let me start off by telling you how sorry I am, what I told you was highly unprofessional and considering our line of work, insensitive. There’s no way I can take back what I said, and I’m willing to take any consequences that you might thrust upon me, because honestly I’d deserve it.”

After standing outside 76s office for about 20 minutes, you’d finally decided to knock and enter. He’d been sitting at his desk, busy with some files, he looked stressed. Such stress could turn into malicious anger; you’d definitely caught him at a bad time. There was no way you could leave now that he’d seen you either. Stuck, that’s what you were.

Taking a seat, you knew he was studying you. Still clutching his paper files, you knew he was fucking ready to deck you, which meant that choosing your words carefully was key.

“And, I got… some time to think through past missions, I’ve run into… ‘Reaper’”

The silence you shared was unbearably uncomfortable, you could probably hear a pin needle drop. A shaky breath in, and you were ready to continue. Hoping that he’d be listening to whatever you had to say, you were really grasping at straws.

“I was in a real sticky situation-” Hahah you could say that again, “Tried to get some help, Reaper and this woman, Widowmaker, was sent to my aid by Talon. They brought me back to base in exchange for some information, I gave them whatever I had on me.”

“You willingly gave them information, that you were not allowed to give in exchange for your life? You worked for fucking Talon?”

Shaking your head, his calm voice was unnerving.

“As I said, Talon and I often ran into each other on missions, and help like that was important for my survival, as well as my teammates… although, that mission went south. To say the least…”

You were unsure whether he was interested in what you had to say next, how you’d ‘defend’ your actions. Talon was bad, co-operating with them too. Almost worse in some people’s eyes, but as long as people lived, you didn’t care if it was the fucking Easter bunny that helped you out.

“Giving some information, that was read through and copied, was not viewed as an act of ‘comradery’, rather as an act of security. They needed information, we needed all the help we could. That mission however, I was the only one that survived.”

Feeling your gut wrench a bit, it’d happen a lot, that you’d lose teammates, sometimes entire teams, it was strange that you were always the one who lived to see another day. Apparently you, as 5-308, was considered a ‘legend’ in some people’s eyes.

Soldier 76 took a deep, tired breath. Seemed like he hadn’t slept in days, maybe it was because he had run smack into them. Then, he did something unexpected. He took off his mask, or well he was in the middle of the process. Holy fuck, was he really going to show you his face? 

You didn’t know a lot about Overwatch, only that they’d been heroes and what you’d had to cram together in school for history tests. Back then, everyone had favourites, but you’d honestly not had any interested in all that. Even if you were amazed by watching their dangerous battles on the news, they’d amazed you.

But that was beside the point, you would finally get to see one of your bosses faces. He had now completely removed his visors and was staring you down.

 

Damn.

 

Being a sucker for beautiful eyes, and the man in front of you, had the most precious baby blue eyes. Which meant that you couldn’t help but stare, not even really looking at him, just his eyes. But they seemed to harshen when he noticed you were no longer actually paying attention to the actual physical world.

“You’re staring.”

Correct, you were staring, you couldn’t help it. He had a couple old battle scars running across his face. The thing was, you had never seen his face even, and hadn’t imagined him to be so handsome, which meant that you could feel chills running down your spine.

But then you snapped out of it, ‘stop staring at your boss’ you screamed at yourself. You were not going to drool over Major Douche over here.

“Sorry, just… Never actually seen your face. Love your eyes.”

If that wasn’t fucking creepy, you didn’t know what was. His glare turned into a frown. So that was what he looked like when he was mildly annoyed with you, which meant a whole lot.

“What kind of relationship would you have with Widowmaker and Reaper?”

Well, would ‘a sexual one’ be an acceptable answer or was he just looking for whatever he thought he could pick up out of your conversation?

“Widowmaker and I held longer conversations than Reaper and I. Although it was just information exchange, confirmations etc. Reaper and I, he didn’t talk a lot, but I tried my best to be friendly. The two of them saved me, which meant hey, got to be grateful, right?”

You had been over-friendly though, but you weren’t going to tell him that you’d gotten sexual with his enemy. How would that look?

“How close did you get to them?”

“You mean physically close or emotionally attached? Because we shared a couple snowmobiles, but I wouldn’t say I’ve fallen for either of them. Falling in love right away aren’t my style you know? Have to know them for a while, but know that they are interested. If not I will lose interest completely. Which is honestly too bad, some were good candi-“

“Shut your trap. You know what I mean.”

Had he seen through you lie, did he know that you’d sucked his dick, because if he did you seriously needed to work on your poker face. Gulping and grabbing a hold of your pants, you looked to him,

“W-what do you mean?”

Great stutter there, you mentally scolded yourself, it’s not like he couldn’t snap your freaking neck and dispose of your body, only getting minor consequences. Why had you done this? Oh right, Hana had wanted you to.

“Did you sleep with him.”

“Do you mean sex? Because I most certainly didn’t have sex with him. Or do you mean if we slept close by, because we did that. If that’s what you wanted to know?”

You questioned, but he looked fucking pissed, did he really think you were lying?

“Really? Then explain to me, what the fuck you and D.Va were talking about.”

Had he listened in on your conversation, damn, sneaky bitch. Now it was time for you to defend yourself,

“Fuck no, I did not sleep with that scary looking dude, I do have something called standards you know? I wouldn’t sleep with a guy I just fucking met, you know I have never fucking slept with anyone, and why is it that almost every time I come into your office I’m accused of sleeping with someone! Because I fucking haven’t, make Mercy run whatever checks you want on me, I have not had sex with fucking anyone, and the fucking audacity-“

“Shut.”

He said quietly yet firmly, and you followed his command. You’d almost forgot how intimidating he was, especially when he was ‘bare faced’. Could still make you feel a bit panicked.

“These are routine questions, we need to know your relations to him, I’m not accusing you of anything, for now.”

Good, because you really didn’t feel like talking about it.

“I still want to know why you’d tell D. Va instead of coming to me with whatever information you had. What are you not telling me?”

That you’d sucked his dick.

“What kind of information is it that you want? Like honestly, I’ll answer any question you have, but you just need to phrase it correctly, then ask. I’ll tell you whatever you’d like, heck I’ll throw in some fun facts about my day-to-day life.”

“Stop playing around, I know you aren’t fucking stupid.”

“Oh really? Because then obviously you know wrong. I’m literally the dumbest person I know, you surely must have known this? Did you not see my results? The fact that I’m alive now has been out of pure luck. I go somewhere, I do my job, then I return back home. But I don’t have a fucking home now do I?”

He slammed his hands on the table, yet another dent, he must have a really uneven table top surface by now. You were playing with him, well a bit at least, mostly because you were feeling terrible, awful. A nervous habit of yours, self-deprecating humour, but only at times like these.

“Anyways, as I said, ask the right question, you’ll get the right answer. Though, you might not like the fucking answer.”

Looking in thought, he seemed to think hard and well what to ask you. Now that there was no mask to hide his facial expression, you could finally see his emotions. Finally, you could get a read on him. Then it seemed like a question popped right up, and he stared directly into your eyes, keeping his gaze, while you tried to look away.

“Did you meet him again after that?”

Now it was your turn to look in thought, had you actually met him after that? If you had, you did not remember, maybe he should throw another one of those lying, electrocution cuffs on you again? Maybe that’d help you with your memory?

“I don’t know; my memory is a bit jumbled. There was a lot going on, I don’t remember every mission. But I haven’t met him when I haven’t been on a mission, that I know. Except for… well you know, when I met him in that back alley, and rooftop.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his short, whitened hair. That was so fucking hot, what the fuck. You couldn’t even look at him right now, you unconsciously bit your lower lip. Damn, if he wasn’t your boss. 

“Does he know?”

Why is this man speaking in riddles?

“Know what?”

He’s so fucking confusing, even with his readable face out in the open, his very handsome face.

“That you’re working for Overwatch.”

That was a fucking great question, and you took a mental double take. No, you had never told anyone, plus you always made sure that you weren’t followed, you think. Even so, it’s not like you’d ever openly wore anything that suggested that you did work for them.

“No. At least, I don’t think so. The only person I’ve ever told that I worked for Overwatch was my brother, and I don’t think he’d ever tell on me, considering it’d result in my death. He could never do that towards his own sister.”

Hearing a string of curses coming from 76, you could tell something was obviously aggravating him. Like something from the past just came back and bit him in the ass.

“How can I have been so fucking blind?! He’s a sleeper.”

Sleeper? Okay, since it involved your brother you just had to know what the fuck was going on.

“A sleeper? Yet again with these wild accusations, what do you fucking mean?”

Glaring daggers at you, he took a hold of your shirt and pulled you close to him from across the table.

“You’ve doomed us all.”

“Stop being so damn paranoid! And let me the fuck go, if you’re so damn worried about him being a sleeper or whatever the fuck you called my brother and I, get us checked out. I don’t care how, just don’t fucking go ahead and choke me until I almost fucking die again. Deal with this calmly.”

Looking beyond pissed, the two of you needed to calm down. He could easily snap your neck, and you could quite easily jab him. You were both fucking pissed, glaring at each other. Anything that could be a potential threat to your brother must be-

“Sorry.” 

Wait what. 

Tilting your head to the side, you looked at the man in front of you. His averted gaze told you everything, he actually felt bad. Guilty for what had happened. This was, character development? Or had he always looked like this, just that you were unable to tell because of his hidden face. No, he’d definitely said sorry, was he finally treating you with respect?

He hadn’t let go of your shirt however, and your face was close to his, too close for comfort. Even if he’d apologised for, well, nothing specifically? He’d still apologised. Did that deserve praise? A reward? Just act positively to his apology.

“Thank you. Now, if you believe my brother’s actually a sleeper, I’ll force him into taking whatever test it is you’d actually like. Whatever to get your mind off of things. I know how shit can be.”

By shit, you were referring to paranoia. After missions you were always jumpy about the littlest things, a fork falling to the floor and giving of a small clatter in the cafeteria could result in you having an innocent recruit in a choke hold. Not a good feeling.

Seeming grateful at your answer, he gave a short nod and released you from his clutches. You re-seated yourself, there was still a lot to talk about in your opinion. The interrogation had just been a scratch at the surface of everything you’d needed to talk about.

“Anything else you’d like to ask me? Considering I’m already here.”

You asked, hoping that you’d finally be able to take his mind off of whatever shit he wanted to ask you. 

“Are you seeing anyone?”

Holy fuck, this was not the way you wanted this conversation to go. You’d expected like, a question about your missions, some more about Talon, maybe even a bit of prying for any of the information you’d gathered. This was, not that.

“No. I am not.”

Hoping that it was confirmation and that he’d not continue to pry was useless, you knew he would. Almost every single one of your bosses had seemed interested in your love life, which was currently non-existent. Seemed to be the most interesting thing around, were people gossiping?

“Hm. Thought you were dating McCree or something, but I guess not then, considering you ‘haven’t slept with anyone’. He sure seems interested though, and if I didn’t know better, there are some more people drooling all over you. Be careful, you know how it can be for some soldiers.”

When they got sexually frustrated and jumped the first person they could see? Yes, you were fully aware, although you didn’t think that’d be the case here. Hyper sexualisation seemed only to happen to some of your teammates, and that was after not getting a break in-between their missions. But surely they’d be able to go have a cheap fuck in town, if they desperately felt the need.

Wait, wouldn’t this explain the weird infatuation? Or would it? Maybe.

“I do, but surely they’d go for a one night stand back in town if they were so fucking desperate. I mean, I’ve never really had that problem personally, and even so, why should I be careful?”

“Because you don’t have any weapons to push them off.”

That’s fair, you thought, but at the same time you were wildly confused. Was this hyper sexualisation a normal case around these parts as well?

“What do you want me to do then? Buy a box of sex toys and condoms, place them around the base? We got a kid here!”

He scoffed, and looked away. Your comment obviously not as amusing as you’d first thought. Even if it was the truth, you couldn’t have anything that could harm Efi on base. Although you were sure many actually did have uh… Let’s not get into that right now.

“All I’m saying is that you need to be aware that it might happen, especially now that we’re not allowed to drink or smoke on base. That was many people’s relief, and well, people get creative and try to seek out new ones.”

Why the fuck are you even discussing sex with 76?

“Fine, I get it. I fucked over everyone because I drink too much, I get it.”

“No, you’re not the only one with a drinking problem. You’re just the first to actually try and do something about it, and everyone agreed that maybe it was time to get a bit better. Don’t know why right now though, maybe it was because of you.”

“Oh thank god.” You scoffed, you didn’t really feel like talking to him anymore. “But why’d they even pick me over anyone else here on base. I’m average at best, nothing special here.”

That much was true, you weren’t special in any way. Have they even seen each other before, they were all fucking smoking! You were… not. You weren’t exactly ugly, but you weren’t pretty either. Sure there have been people that’s fallen for you, but you never paid them a slick of attention, mostly because you didn’t feel like rejecting them, choosing to ‘Ghost’ them over rejecting them. It was cruel, but you didn’t want to do it any other way.

“You’re not part of the ‘team’, yet you’re always around. Like the girl next door type of person.”

That much was true, he continued,

“You’re a stranger that’s always close by, and you’re available. Not the best combination if you’re not looking for something.”

Making a face at him, and crossing your arms, you could feel yourself getting defensive.

“But still, you’re adults.”

“So are you, yet you still act like a fucking teen at times.”

“At least I’m still a young adult.”

“Again with the sarcastic comments, ought to put you back in school or whatever when you’re going to act like such a child.”

Were you having a playful conversational fight with 76? You were, and you were actually having fun.

“Really? Ought to put you in a retirement home then.”

Shit wait, this was not going the way you’d imagined. Didn’t seem to bother 76 as he gave you a little laugh.

“How old do you think I am, soldier?”

FUCK. 

Damn.

Well here goes nothing.

“Your 40s? I don’t know.”

Without the mask he seemed younger, but you did imagine he was in his late 40s early 50s though. He gave you a raised brow and a somewhat smirk.

“Somewhere around that.”

Hm, either he was playing you for a fool, or he was being sincere. No matter, you weren’t going to start talking about age, you were only lucky you’d said 40s instead of 50s, which seemed more plausible. 

“Anyways, when you tip 20 years, age don’t really fucking matter as much. Unless it’s in the opposite direction, never dated anyone younger than me. Just like wine, like it a bit aged.” 

What the fuck were you saying, were you fucking flirting?

“Too bad you’re not allowed to drink wine on base anymore then. Would have to take you out to get a glass.”

Was he flirting back? What the fuck what was going on, you needed to end this, quickly. Red alert, abort mission!

“You know I quit drinking, too bad really, could have been fun.”

That was honestly one of your better rejections. Short, playful, not cruel in any way, it was probably the best one. However, you hoped he didn’t take your rejection the wrong way and ended your life then and there. Your worries were cut short as you heard him give off a snicker. 

“Whatever you say soldier. Also I’ve been meaning to ask, would you prefer it if I called you 5-308?”

Visibly cringing at it, he got the confirmation he needed. ‘Nope.’ That’s something you’d prefer not to be called ever again, you’d prefer it if people completely forgot about it. Though you knew it’d always be a part of you, it was a part you hoped would not take up such a large amount in your life.

“Any other questions?”

Although you’d hoped for anything more earlier, now you just wanted to leave. But you weren’t going to show him that leaving him was your true intentions, not right now. You had just gotten on his good side again. 

“No. You’ve been dismissed.”

Rising from your seat and heading towards the door, you took a last look to him. He was putting on his mask again.

“Thanks, for letting me have this talk.”

You said quietly, and if he was about to tell you ‘no worries’ or anything really, he wouldn’t have been able to as you said, “And letting me see your handsome face.”

With that you left his office, the door shutting quickly behind you. Heh, payback for telling you that you looked good in that dress way back when.

 

Even if drinking helped to get your mind off of things, it still didn’t mean that you could blank out completely. At times, like these, there wasn’t a lot you could do. You were only taking a minimum amount of Zoloft anyways. Even if it made you feel a whole lot better, if you didn’t fix your problems, the major ones, you weren’t going to feel well.

Deciding it was time to finally face your problem head on, you put on some casual attire. You’d just finished working, and your brother had been sent to Angela to get himself checked out. So now, it was time.

Time to finally apologise to the men you’d wronged, who’d saved your brother from potential death. They deserved every bit of praise you could give them, you owed them you and your brother’s life. Time to own up to it, to apologise and then thank them for doing what you’d actually not asked for.

Putting on a pair of high rise jeans and a black singlet with the Overwatch logo, you examined yourself in the mirror. Casual, that’s the look you were going for. You’d started doing things with your hair lately, just a ponytail or a lazy bun. If you concentrated hard enough, maybe you could even go for a braid today?

Trying your best to actually braid your own hair had proven to be too difficult, in the end you’d given up, considering you’d gotten way too frustrated. Au Natural then.

 

It had taken you quite some time to actually find one of the three men you’d tried to look for. A stroll around the base, and you’d found one of them in the room you’d least expected. 

Your very own room. 

“My brother let you in, or do you just happen to have your very own key?”

Not that you actually had a physical metal key, just a key card. Not that you cared too much about that, there was someone in your room, that had not been invited in.  
At least it’d make things more easy for you, you’d needed to talk to him anyways.

“What happens to bring you into my room on this fine Thursday evening?” 

You said, leaning against the doorframe. Knowing that the man in front of you must be seemingly uncomfortable with your sudden presence, you were going to give him a break. Walking slowly towards your bed you seated yourself, and gestured for them to do the same.

“So, Genji, mind explaining what you’re doing here?”

He hadn’t even been going through your stuff, just casually standing in the middle of your room. Even if he had touched anything, you honestly wouldn’t have minded too much, the only real awkward things you had was well hidden and difficult to get to so anyways.

Seating himself next to you, you could still not get a read on him, except that he wasn’t comfortable. Not being able to tell his facial expression, and him being a seemingly quiet person, at least around you, left you unable to get any information about what he was experiencing. He didn’t answer you, which meant you’d have to keep up the conversation yourself.

Time to get it over with.

“I’m very sorry,” You started, “For everything I said. It was uncalled for, and I mistreated you. I’ve been feeling guilty for weeks, I’ve been thinking about what I said, it’ll never happen again. I’m ready to face any consequences that you might thrust upon me, be it scrubbing down the entire base with my toothbrush to a punch to my face. I’ll take it a-“

“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing.”

Really now, what could he possibly mean by that, you thought. Whenever the two of you spoke, which was never, he always seemed to choose his words very carefully. So now that he was telling you not to apologise, and that there apparently should be someone else apologising, you were a bit confused.

“I reported you on a hunch, I accused you in partaking in a sexual act with a third party, which could have resulted in you getting fired. To make matters worse, I even accused you of being a… Working lady. It was wrong of me, all of it. I am the one who’s sorry. When you called me out, I realized, I had made a huge mistake. My apologies.”

You were touched, honestly. This apology, in comparison to yours, seemed more heartfelt and deep. It felt sincere. But you were surprised, that he felt the need to apologise for it. Even if you’d wanted him to, you were at fault for getting angry with him over it.

“It’s okay, especially considering… Everything that you’ve done for me afterwards. You went to save my brother; I can never thank you enough. He means everything to me, he’s the reason I live and breathe, and you went out of your way to save him, so,”

Taking his hand in your own, you held it tightly, as if you’d die if you let go. Even if he had every reason to hate you, he had gone out of his fucking way, just for your brother. Your brother was an important man, but you couldn’t help but feel that he’d partly gone because of you. Maybe that was the way he intended to get on your good side again? Whatever it was, he’d saved your brother.

“Thank you.”

You whispered as you closed your eyes, and did a little head bow. He deserved a fucking statue in your opinion, now, you’d have to ask what he wanted. Because he deserved it.

“Not to be offensive in any way, but what do you want?”

Seeming surprised by your question, he pulled his hand out of yours and raised them, defensively. Fuck, you had definitely offended him, here he had saved your fucking brother and you asked him what the fuck kind of reward he wanted.

“I…” he started, but you cut him off, “I mean as in what kind of ‘Reward’ do you want. I can never truly repay you, but I feel in debt to you somehow. Whatever you ask, you shall receive. Unless it of course involves putting my brother in danger yet again, anything but that. Literally, go ahead and ask.”

“It wouldn’t be an honourable thing to do, however,” he said, and you leaned a bit forward, “If you absolutely insist, that it’d be honourless of me to refuse your ‘reward’ then…”

Oh boy here it comes, he’ll ask you to fling yourself off a cliff, be his fucking slave for the rest of your life, rob a bank, whatever, something bad at least!  
Bracing yourself for the worst, you could feel your sweat coming on. Please, dear whoever, let it be something do-able.

 

“I’d like a kiss.”

That was not only do-able, that was a way too easy request, at least from what you’d expected. You’d just have to figure out who he’d like to kiss and get an ‘okay’ from the other person, not too big of a deal.

“From who?”

He almost scoffed, as if the answer was so obvious. Well, you’d heard rumours that he was into Mercy, and one were he was into Zenyatta, but honestly even if you loved gossip, you weren’t one to always believe them.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

No, it wasn’t obvious, should it have been?

“A kiss from… uh… I have no idea, honestly, just tell me who, I’ll get them to kiss you.”

Letting out a frustrated groan, he put his hand on the side of his head. Was he going to take off his mask to yell at you? That’d already happened today, you didn’t want to get yelled at again by someone who always wore a mask that suddenly didn’t. In fact, you didn’t want to get yelled at, at all.

There was a slight hiss as his mask became loose. Putting his hands on the sides of the mask, he slowly took it off, almost teasing you. You’d never seen his face, ever. There’d not even been any talk about how he looked like, but considering you knew he was Hanzo’s brother you’d decided that your mental image of him was similar.

You’d been so wrong. Even if you could see some similarities, he still looked different. He had black hair, just like his brother, but shorter, spikier. His eyes, a deep brown colour, almost like rust, a tinge of red in them. His mouth was still hidden by the lower part of his mask, but you were already mesmerized by his appearance.

“Holy shit man.”

What else could you say? You were staring at the most ethereal man you’ve ever seen. Whoever he wanted to kiss, would just fucking melt into him. He was quite literally the hottest being you’ve ever seen, and he wasn’t even done ‘undressing’ his face.

“What was that?”

Oh he had definitely heard you, now he was just teasing you. And it was working.

“Who do you want to kiss? You’ve still not told me, and honestly with a face like yours, you’d have literally nothing to worry about, why do you want me to be your wingman anyways?”

Looking a bit surprised at you, he started to laugh. His angelic laugh caused a chill to run down your spine. Already shivering a bit in anticipation, you almost felt a bit jealous at the lucky person who’d receive a kiss from this… gorgeous man.

“Could you help me a bit? Even after years of removing this, it’s still kind of difficult to do it on my own.”

He pointed to the lower part of his mask, and holy fuck, you wanted to fling the thing off of him. Maybe your curiosity hadn’t died? Maybe you’d just been, well, too depressed to try? Because at the moment the curiosity was killing you.

Even if you were close to ripping it off, you were gentle, making sure he wasn’t getting hurt. If you weren’t so damn concentrated on getting it off, you would have noticed him staring at you. But you didn’t so.

“Wasn’t too difficult, you sure you just didn’t want me to do it for you?”  
Was what you wanted to ask, but as soon as the mask came off, you felt lips on yours. Mentally panicking, you almost punched him, his hand quickly stopping the blow.  
Sighing into your lips, he slinked away. 

“Again with the kissing…” You could hear him whisper, who had he kissed?  
But you weren’t going to let him feel bad about it, you’d just panicked.  
“You just caught me by surprise, didn’t realize I was the one you’d uh… Wanted to kiss.” It was the truth, who’d honestly want to kiss you?

“You’re okay with it?” He asked, and you nodded. A kiss never hurt anyone, well, in most cases it didn’t hurt anyone. Just two different sets of lips meeting, it wouldn’t be too difficult, right?

Repositioning yourself in your bed, you were now sitting in his lap. If you were going to give him a kiss as a reward, you’d be sure to give him the best damned kiss ever. The position you were now in was the best one, considering you could grind to get, well a rise out of him. You guess?

Leaning in close to his beautiful face, you took notice of him gulping. His jaw and the skin on his throat seemed to have been replaced, must’ve been badly injured during a battle. Not that you cared, you’ve got some bad scars on your body. 

Taking a long hard look at his face, it seemed like he too was studying yours. Although for different reasons. He’d never been so close to yours, and you’d never actually seen his. But the staring session ended abruptly as he took a hold around your hips, snaking a hand up underneath your shirt and pressed you against him. Ushering you to kiss him.

Which is precisely what you did. 

The lip pressing turned into a dance of tongues. He was quick at first, and you were about to break away to tell him to slow down, that you weren’t in a rush. But he managed to do that perfectly well on his own. Slowing down, his skills was downright making you moan into his mouth.

Biting your lip gently, nibbling on it, you suddenly experienced some sort of Déjà vu. He had kissed you, once before. He was the mystery kisser! It’d make sense! He had the exact same kissing style, he was light and quick on his feet, typical for a ninja, and no fucking facial hair. This was your guy.

Almost out of breath, you leaned back, realization dawning upon you. And you even said it out loud,

“You kissed me!”

“Were you not okay with it? We can stop?”

“That’s not what I mean. You kissed me while I was trying to sleep on the couch!”

He let out a soft ‘oh’, did he really, honestly, think that you hadn’t noticed? A person just can’t sleep through that sort of kiss, not that you were even asleep to begin with, as he’d tipped your mind-tea.

“I-I’m so sorry, again I- “

You were going to shut him up with another kiss, and you did. You were going to prioritize on giving him the best damn kiss you could, not arguing about whatever you should have been arguing about. Kissing someone in their sleep is not okay, even if you technically hadn’t been asleep.

 

As any great kisser would know, only focusing on the kiss itself would not get you hot and bothered. Which meant, hands on, move up and down. You weren’t completely sure where to touch Genji, he was well, a cyborg to say the very least, which meant that you’d just have to explore to find his spots.

Running a hand through his hair, you were scanning his body. Maybe give a bit of a grind?   
Gently pressing your hips into his pelvis, you could hear him give off a little groan. Good job, now what? 

Now it was time to get him to lean down, which you did, as you pushed him a bit backwards. He was now laying in your bed, with you grinding and kissing him on top. He seemed to feel really good about you kiss, you could tell because his kissing style had dropped, and now he was kissing you passionately, trying to get whatever pleasure he could out of you.

Amusing, to say the least, was his actions and struggles. He was moaning and groaning, had it really been such a long time since he’d gotten anything? Not wanting to pry on his social or sex life, you just continued. 

Seconds, turned into minutes, and you’d been kissing for quite some time, moans erupting here and there. This could go two ways, you could stop, push him out and tell him ‘Good night’ or you could ‘elope’. But did you honestly like him enough to actually consider him?

Not knowing a single thing about him was kind of hot, but if it was going to turn into a thing, which it might as well have considering the two of you were singel, young and definitely wanted to do each other good. You had to consider your options. What did you want?

To not stay in Overwatch, to live a normal safe life, study, get a normal job and raising kids. That’s something he couldn’t give you, not now. The passionate kissing turned into a somewhat desperate kiss. Not wanting to lose him just yet, you were still thinking long and hard.

Staying with Overwatch is something you didn’t want, you’d left that life, partially at least. You didn’t want to look over your shoulder everywhere you went, just in case there was enemies. He couldn’t give you your normal life, and the kissing suddenly felt bittersweet.

Sad, it was terribly sad, and you wanted to cry. But didn’t, you just stopped and sat back up. Wiping your mouth with your hand, you looked down at him. Did he like you? Did he want you? Did he want to stay with you forever? Elope even? You had so many questions for him, but there was only one that seemed to push itself to the top.

“Do you love me?”

That was fucking stupid, he didn’t even know you. It caught him a bit by surprise, and then he looked to the side a bit ashamed.

“No.”

Oh, your worries about having to do something more was suddenly gone.

“I can’t fall in love with someone I don’t know, but I’d very much like to.”

No, he couldn’t be serious, was he going to start courting you? Date? What a fucking joke, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. 

“I don’t want to be involved with Overwatch.”

Well, you didn’t exactly mind at the time, to just work as their cleaning lady or whatever, but you didn’t want to be known. You wanted a normal life, and damn if you weren’t going to get just that, in time though. He looked at you, almost offended, which meant you’d have to explain yourself.

“I want to live a normal life, one where I go to study at a university, get a job, owning a small apartment, maybe even a cat, dog or fishes and I want children, a completely average and normal life. If we were to be together, either one of us would have to give up on our dream, as I assume you want to stay here, with your team?”

“You can still have all that? We have our own program that protects the families- “

“Not good enough. I know, because my brother wasn’t going to be saved. He wasn’t, just because he didn’t fit into the whole ‘Overwatch is the reason for this attack’ thing. Besides, if we want different things, on this level, we shouldn’t even be trying.”

You said as a matter of fact, and even if the truth stung, the two of you both knew. You just weren’t meant to be, not in this lifetime at least. Getting off of him, you reached your hand out, to help him get to his feet. He took your arm and you dragged him up. 

He put on his mask quickly, and you opened the door. Just before he was about to leave, he turned and took a hold of your head. 

“Don’t think I still won’t try, I will make it so we can be together, if we both wish to. Good night.”

Flushing, and getting ready to swat him away, he was already leaving. Your heart felt as if it could leap out of your chest at any time. Damn, what a fool he was for playing with your heart. That almost never ended well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you down a couple alcoholic beverages before writing, you write about flirty shit. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed the new chapter! As always, I'm available on Twitter and Tumblr, just hmu wherever and whenever.
> 
>  
> 
> (Anyways, I'm so sorry I haven't been able to update as much as I'd like, I've been out almost every single day (ty Russ), and I've been working. Got an exam tomorrow, but I'll definitely start on the next chapter as soon as possible, I might post some bonus chapters??? And also WOO + 100 000 words!! I'm on page 229, which is a fucking lot, but I'm still not even halfway done with this story, sorry guys...)


	21. Roomba work

The cold water hit your back, and you yelped, quickly turning the warm water back on. Lately you’d gotten so temperature sensitive, your skin was duller and you could feel yourself missing the air hitting your face. You were going to get “cabin fever” at this rate, which meant you’d have to get out soon.

Warm water was way more soothing, and you preferred it any day over the cold one that you’d tried to calm your tense nerves. Who wouldn’t be tense? Not one, but two people wanted to court you. One had even confessed their ‘undying love’ for you. The worst of all? They were brothers.

Just to add another problem on top of that, you still hadn’t replaced your staff or switched back to the pill. Which meant that you could already feel the after effects, aka. Quite a bit of cramps. Making a mental note to walk by Angela, you started shampooing your hair. Hana had insisted on getting you a shampoo and conditioner set that smelled like caramel.  
The smell made you crave food, even more so now that you were stressed.

Massaging the soap gently into your scalp, you felt some of it trickling down your forehead. The mixture of shampoo and water got into your eye and you screeched.  
“Fucking hell, piece of fucking shit-“  
Hearing your bathroom door open, someone rushed in.

A gun click, and you dropped to the shower floor. 

“Hands where I can see them!”

Wait, that was definitely not an enemy. 

“Stop! Wait! I just got some shampoo in my eyes!”

Sighing, you could hear the another click, this safety was on yet again. Which was good because you didn’t feel like getting shot in the nude with soap in your eyes.

“Drop the gun bro, it’s just me. I’m safe, you’re safe, it was just some shampoo.”

 

“You’re not okay.”

What a great way to start a conversation. Accusing someone of being not okay. But it had been deemed necessary, after you’d gotten out of your early morning shower. After a long night of experiments with Angela, she’d finally deemed your brother ‘safe’ and sent him back to your room. 

But your brother wasn’t okay, he had jumped into your bathroom ready to kill. Even if he knew that you were alone in there. He was definitely not okay, and just as you’d gotten support from your co-workers, your brother needed some from you.

“You’re not sleeping, you’re not eating well, you always carry around a damn weapon as if we could get attacked at any time, don’t think I don’t notice it. You’re jumpier, you don’t joke around as much and you get really aggressive and annoyed about the littlest things. You are being paranoid.”

“And you’re naïve for thinking we can’t get attacked here. I’m your older brother, I’m more experienced, I know the kind of shit people can pull. You haven’t been through what I have.”

This, there was certain things you could handle, but getting yelled at by someone. No, you wouldn’t stand for it, you’d let him continue, but you knew that you’d get even more pissed off. So you cut him off.

“I most certainly have not. I have been in the fucking field, unlike you, I have watched people die in my fucking hands, desperately trying to sow goop back together in an attempt to rescue someone. How dare you speak to me like that?! I know you’ve been through shit, and you know I have, so cut the fucking crap!”

He too looked pissed, and your arguing were going to another level.

“Oh wow really, you’re going to pull that card?! All you have to do is walk over and get some damn information, how hard can that be, gathering loose paper? I have to spend hours upon hours reading through small digits, looking for a number out of place, you think you have it hard? Try having to use your spare time reading and studying, I never get a fucking break!”

That was true, he never did get a break. He was always working, but you’d assumed that’s how he preferred it, considering he seemed to be a workaholic.

“One digit missed and shit like this can happen, my entire information leaked to a fucking killer, you have no idea how bad it is, do you?! My life is fucking ruined, just because I missed one fucking number! And yours too! I mean,”

Kicking your night stand over, you flinched, he was pissed. 

“Fucking hell, I ruined your life! I swear, I was just so fucking tired. I was so close to getting them, this close,”

Ripping at his own hair, he gave your fallen stand another kick and let out a frustrated groan.

“Look, it’s happened. There’s not much we can do now but to try and stay safe, gather whatever information we can get, and search for a solution to this problem.”

He laughed, harshly, making his whole being shake. You’d laughed like this quite a lot; it wasn’t anger directed towards you. He was angry with himself and acted out on it. Oh how it wounded you to watch him like this.

“There is no solution, we’re a permanent target, we can’t get out of this shit.”

That’s what you’d thought for quite some time too, but you knew it not to be the truth. Although the past at times would come back to haunt you, it now significantly hurt less. Maybe because you had someone to talk to, someone to support you, someone that made you feel better? While you had co-workers, friends, your brother had none. He’d been all alone to deal with his shit.

“We have to try right? Come here, we just need to calm down, breathe a bit and deal with this later, right? We can work out a plan.”

Opening your arms, to give your brother a hug, he pushed you away. You were a bit hurt, but understood. It was fine, you were a big girl, not getting a hug wouldn’t upset you too much. But what you saw next would.

Tears were streaming from your brother’s eyes. He looked like a broken man, your brother. The smartest man alive, the funniest and happiest person you’d ever met, your role model. He had no one to comfort him, you’d left him when he needed you, what kind of shitty sister, or well even human being did that?!

“I ruined your life.”

He couldn’t possibly mean that, he hadn’t done anything to ruin your life any more than you had. 

“I ruined your life, and I promised mom and dad to take care of you.” He shook, and you could feel your eyes glaze at his words. “I fucked it up for you, mom and dad would surely hate me! And they should, I ruined everything! I might as well be the reason as to why they died! That could be fucking plausible, maybe someone figured out who and where they were and drove that truck straight into them?! It’s my fault.”

Grabbing a hold of your brother, you held him tight.

“Don’t you dare. What happened was an accident! You’ve done nothing wrong, mistakes happen, if anyone killed them it was fucking me. Most people don’t even know your face, but in battle I always keep my face out in the open. I tell them my name, I’m the one who’s fucked up.”

He cried into your form and clung to you as if he’d die if he ever let go. No one, he’d had no one. 

“But shit like that happens, the only thing we can do is bite down and move on. You didn’t ruin my life, and you didn’t ruin your own, we’re still alive and kicking. We’re not even on the most wanted list in the world. We’re together in this mess, and that’s what’s important.”

Whispering apologies into your hair, your t-shirt dampening with his tears, you knew he needed help. Later you’d bring him back to Angela, she would probably know what to do. As of right now, your brother needed you. Even if requests were already rolling in, you needed to take care of your brother first. He was your main priority.

 

A knock on your door had awoken you from your deep slumber. After a good crying session, a long heartfelt talk with your brother about the shit you’d been through, the two of you had fallen asleep on your bed. Looking at your device, you could see that the requests had quadrupled and the time read 12. Today was going to be a busy day.

Another knock on your door and you were out of bed, not wanting to wake your brother, you were going to let him sleep in for a bit longer.   
“Athena, could you please open the door?” you said while straightening out your clothes.

The door opened, and in came Hana. Good old Hana, in her jumpsuit and gear. She looked exhausted, must’ve come straight from a mission. She reached for you, and you pulled her close. She reeked with sweat and you scrunched your nose a bit. Were you going to fuss and go ‘full-mom’ on her? Yes. Yes, you were.

“You need a shower and a long nap, I have to work now, but you’re free to sleep in with my brother. Two birds with one stone, you know. You’ll get to watch each other.”

She only gave you a groan, and slumped against you. You were glad she was short and light, and that you were strong, because you quite easily picked her up, baby style, and started carrying her to your bathroom door. 

“You’re going to have to do this part yourself, seems like both you and my brothers had a rough morning. Get some rest, he won’t mind you napping next to him.” You said, gently putting her down on your closed toilet seat. Bending over to get some towel out of your cabinet, you heard her curse. Was she hurt?

Letting your gaze roam over her form, you were checking her for any kind of damages. “Got your check up with Mercy?” she seemed to be collecting herself, and met your gaze, “Yea… I’m a-okay, just tired…” Giving off a gentle chuckle, you definitely understood.

Giving her a gentle pat, you smiled at her. She was such a good friend, in fact she might even be your best friend, you know, she is. She was truly the greatest of friends. With her friendship and all.

 

“You’re late.” There it was, there was the behaviour you had expected. Looking at Hanzo, who was standing with his arms crossed looking at you and your Roomba. Your only babe, you frowned a bit. “Yes, I had to take care of some people. You’re not the first on my long ass list you know.” 

He almost growled at you, this was the Hanzo you knew. The one who got irritated over the smallest things, the perfectionistic prick. Scoffing a bit, you knew you’d won, at least for now. He’d requested a clean-up in his room, which meant that he’d be observing you the entire time. Which was creepy considering your newfound information about his so called ‘love’ for you, which you concluded was a strange form of infatuation.

Previously, you’d made a physical list of all the things he wanted cleaned, but now you knew it by heart. Or well, somewhat, it’d been a while since he’d let you in his room. He was a clean person, which meant that there honestly wasn’t much to clean for him, but goddamn if he didn’t always manage to find something to clean. 

With his guidance, you’d taught yourself how to clean even the most basic thing. In fact, he’d honestly helped out a lot to teach you how to clean. Strange, you’d actually learnt things from his long lectures. Hm. 

“How thorough do you want it today?” You asked, it really varied, because sometimes he’d have you clear out his closet, clean it, and re-organize his every belonging. Other times he just wanted the floor cleaned, the whole place dusted and washed. He scoffed a bit at your question, as if you’d offended him. Maybe in his book you had, you didn’t get him at all.

One second he’s physically hurting you, then he gets all lovey dove-y. You could blame it on the alcohol though, maybe he wasn’t thinking straight, maybe he was still real fucking wasted. It was probably all fake.

“Right, deep cleaning it is.” You said, placing your Roomba on the floor. After 2030 they started producing ones with a function to turn on music, and you were glad this was an older version. “Mind if I let DJ Roomba loose?” You asked, while Hanzo seated himself on his bed.  
“Just properly clean my room, if it distracts you, I’m tossing it out and make you start over.” This was definitely ‘your’ Hanzo.

Giving him a short nod, you started cleaning and let your dear Roomba loose. It started playing what you called “background” music, aka. Music that didn’t really make sense but had a fitting theme to what you were doing. Which meant that it wasn’t going to interfere with your work.

Letting your Roomba do its job, you were going to start yours, which would have started with changing his sheets, but as he was currently sitting in his bed, that proved to be a bit more difficult. Fine, you’ll do that last then. Which meant that it was time to look for things that might be lying places they shouldn’t. 

But no, all things were where they were supposed to be. You never got why he needed his room to be so insanely clean, considering you weren’t aware of him having any allergies. Maybe he was just a neat freak? Normally people would say it’s compelled by OCD, but you knew better. Even if some people with OCD had to have it extremely clean around them, it wasn’t the only thing it consisted of.

A recruit of yours had a minor case of OCD, which meant that she’d be doing things like turning on and off the lights 18 times before going to sleep, turning safety on and off a certain amount of times and other things like organizing the food she’d get. She often felt like a burden, but you made sure that none of the other recruits bothered her about it.   
Even if that technically wasn’t your job. As long as she did hers, you didn’t mind how many clicks or extra steps she had to make in order to get her mind off of things.

“You’re a really clean person, you sure you even need your room cleaned? I’m pretty sure I’m making it dirtier actually…” You whispered that last part, as you brought forward a damp cloth and started washing off his desk. Starting off with the top part, the shelves, moving down to the table top. It was a wooden desk with lower drawers, which you of course had to the insides and outsides of. 

Opening some drawers and placing the paper files, letters and various office supplies on top of the table top, you started washing the insides. The drawer wasn’t even dirty; his room generally wasn’t dirty at all. You had asked him why earlier, but he hadn’t answered. Next was the table legs and you were sitting down just like a Slavic person would when posing for a photograph. 

“I want to see if I’ve missed anything.” Oh finally, there was your answer. He just wanted to double check if he’d done a good job. Well, he had, and you even being here was a waste of time, you still had to start dinner soon. It was already 17. “And you honestly think I’ll be of any assistance?” You commented sarcastically and moved all the papers and supplies back into the drawer neatly.

“That looks bad, start over.” Guess you have to organize his files and letters too. Letting out a huff, you looked them over. He liked it organized by date, except for the supplies of course, mostly because they had no assigned date. “Fine.” You said, reluctantly and started looking at the dates in the upper right corner.

After organizing the way he’d like, oldest lowest, newest on top, you put them into the corner of the drawer. When you didn’t get a comment on it, you felt accomplished, and moved on to your next target, the closet. As you were about to open it, he gave off a cough, which made you to turn.

“Only outside today.” Oh? Shrugging, you started cleaning the outsides. The top was hard to reach, even if you were about a centimetre taller than Hanzo, you still couldn’t reach. Jumping up and down certainly didn’t help, with your heavy boots you couldn’t even jump as high as you needed to. 

Sighing and slumping your head down in defeat, you turned towards Hanzo and shook your head. “Can’t reach.” You said as a matter of fact, which made his frown, which you were sure was constant, turn into a little smirk. Was he enjoying the fact that you were just a tad bit short to reach? Well he couldn’t fucking reach either, fucking prick.

“Need a hand?” He asked, and you sent him a grimace, was he just offering to help because you’d been defeated. Plausible. But you needed help, and if he was offering then yes, you’d accept. “Yes.” What he did next, came as a bit off a surprise, as he well, literally lifted you off the ground. 

“I thought you were going to bring me a stepping stool or something… but hey, whatever floats your boat.” You said, as he held you up. That was the second time you’d been lifted, and with such ease as well! Everyone here was so fucking strong, what the fuck.

 

Call it your sixth sense or whatever, but you could feel his gaze roaming your body as he held you up in the air. With the information you had, that he apparently loved you, you knew it was a freaking possibility. Ignoring it, you washed the top of the closet. Not even a speck of dust. 

“Done.” You said, he put you down and re-seated himself on his bed. The Roomba started playing some music that held a little bit more beats and bass, as it continued to eat away at the non-existent dust. Next on your list was the bathroom, but you never got so far. “Not today.” Fine, ‘not today’ then. Less for you to clean.

Taking out the little trash he had and replacing the bag, you were almost done. Next were the stills, door frame and mirror, which were already cleaned of course. He just wanted you to go over his work, you reminded yourself. Never really giving you a challenge. The damp cloth got any possible remains of dust, even though there were none.

“I still don’t see why you need me here, thought you wouldn’t like it when I wasted time or whatever?” 

“This is not a waste of your time, plus you’re the one who decide whether or not to pick up the requests. You can always leave.” You hadn’t really thought of it that way, because typically you wanted to finish them all. Just to feel accomplished really. “I guess, but still, why even request it?” you said while wiping along a still. “You know you don’t have to be here, yet you still always show up.” OH!

So it was just a hangout request? Then why the hell was he being such a bitch about it?  
You were going to ask.

“If you wanted to hangout or whatever, you could request that instead, you know that right?”

His deepest wishes had been revealed, and you’d never seen an adult man so flustered. It was hilarious! You couldn’t help but give off a short laugh.

 

But you just couldn’t stop, because he looked even more flustered. He averted your gaze, blushed furiously and pouted. How cute!

“- Hahah, you’re so hahah, adorable!” 

Oh no, you giggle snorted! Your laugh died down, and the two of you were left in an awkward silence. Maybe it was time to continue cleaning?

 

After finishing the stills, the door frame and mirror, next on your list? The bed and then the floor. Which meant you’d have to toss out an angry and flustered Hanzo. Giving off a slight polite cough, just to signal that he needed to move, he continued to sit still, and turned away from you. Was he really going to be difficult about it?

Fine, you’d made him a bit flustered, but there was no need to be a major cock about it. “Would you please move out of your bed? I need to change the sheets.” You asked with a sweet voice, you just wanted to get this over with. He didn’t move. “Fine then, have it your way.” You said, trying your best to pry off his sheet, while he was sitting on top of them.

You couldn’t get it off, and giving off a short huff, you tried to stare down this really immature man. “Get off.” You said sternly, time to get your ‘commander’ voice on. The voice was a couple octaves lower and loud, choppy, sharp. It had to be, when you barked out commands. But he wouldn’t move. Fine, time to get physical then.

“Hanzo, you get 3 seconds to move,” He wasn’t moving at all only scowling, as if to say ‘try me bitch’.   
“3…” you said moving in front of him,   
“2…” you were now in between his legs, hands on hips.   
“1…” you took a hold of his shoulders, and leaned down, your hot breath on his neck.

“Move, or I’ll make you.”

 

How you’d ended up in this situation was somewhat of a mystery, really. Or well, not really, you knew exactly how you’d ended up like this. You’d known Hanzo liked you, in fact he ‘loves’ you, and here you’d come to unnecessarily clean his room, not only that but you’d teased him. You were paying the price for this.

He’d grabbed a hold of you and pushed you down on his bed, him now on top of you. Holding your arms over your head, you breathed rapidly, heart beating wild and chest rising and falling quickly. He was going to kill you. Or worse.

Closing your eyes and turning away, you tried not to fight him. That’d end badly. But maybe you should, you had once before and almost gotten away with it, right? Though, he’d been drunk off his ass, and now he was stone cold sober.

“Look at me.” 

You didn’t want to. Too scared of what was to come next, you gave off a short whimper.

“Please.”

No, no you didn’t want to look. A thousand thoughts roamed your mind, the headache you thought you’d long been rid of, came back. The hammering feel from the inside of your skull was yet again present. Please, you didn’t want to get hurt any more. You couldn’t handle any more pain, not like this so anyways.

“I’m sorry, please… Please look at me.”

Fuck, you were a compliant son of a bitch today, weren’t you? Opening one eye, you looked to him. He looked somewhat hurt, but what did he expect? He’d yet again attacked you, or well, somewhat. He’d scared the shit out of you, did that count?

“You’re so confusing, always making me… like this.”

A masochistic bastard? Abusive fucker? Because he forced you, yet again in an uncomfortable situation that scared you. He triggered you, made you afraid. Especially when he was as close as this. But curiosity, yet again, got to you, you had to ask.

“…Like what?”

“I lose my mind when you’re around me,” True, “You have this kind of… Feel to you, that just drives me crazy. You’re bad mouthed, unwilling, defiant, yet in situations like these… so fucking submissive.”

Submissive?! Okay you were going to have to give him the talk about ‘consent’ didn’t you?  
He swore in Japanese, that much you could tell.

“I mean, not submissive, just… You give up.” Well, you don’t want to fight. “Why aren’t you fighting for yourself?” A number of reasons, you could list one at the top of your head. Reason number 1 would probably be depression. Yeah, definitely that. Then your insecurities, and your experience in situations like these. Three very good and valid reasons. Plus, don’t forget the fact that if you were to try and fight him like this, it wouldn’t end well on your part.

“Why do you care what I do? If I fight or not. I just don’t want to start a fight with anyone, is that so bad?” You asked, struggling a bit against his grip. “I don’t want you to not fight for yourself. Why aren’t you protecting yourself?” He asked and you already knew your mental answer. Because what good would it do? Honestly.

“You’re so beautiful, so intelligent, so… imperfectly perfect. Yet it’s like you don’t even notice, you go about as if you’re not the most ethereal being to exist.” Compliments?   
“It saddens me that you don’t treat yourself better, why don’t you love yourself?” 

What did he know about that? Maybe you loved yourself and just didn’t fucking talk about it? Was he complaining about you not being narcissistic?

“What’s it to you? If I love myself or not, because that’s my business and nobody else’s.”

That was rude, but you really weren’t in the mood to dance around the porridge. Straight to the point, you wanted to be released soon.

“Because… You know I love you, right? I don’t want you to go around feeling worthless.” Was he not aware that he was the one fuelling it? And again with this ‘love’ thing, you finally had time to set him straight. Probably.

“You have a strange way of showing it.” You commented, “You don’t typically pin the one you love to your bed. Not unless it’s consensual, and in this case it’s…” He wasn’t even attempting to meet your gaze. His eyes roaming your nerve wrecked body, undressing you slowly.

“You’re… intoxicating, to watch.”  
“Hahah… Anyways, as I’ve said earlier, you’re not in love with me. Not really.”  
“Oh?”

He sounded surprised, but how could he be? It wasn’t real. Love takes time, and even if you would have your disputes and arguments, since well… You met about… 5 months ago? Damn, you have been meeting him for a while, but he didn’t even know you!

“There’s a difference between thinking you are in love and actually being in love. We’ve known each other for a while now, but have we ever given each other the indication that we’re even interested in taking it any further than what we already have? No. Because you’re my boss, and I’m your employer. Heck, do you even know me?”

This was it, he’d finally realize. He’d realize he didn’t love you, things would be awkward between the two of you, and he’d move on. The same would happen with almost everyone, it really was for the best as well. You were not a person someone should fall in love with.

He seemed shocked at what you’d said, but it quickly turned into a face of understanding and his grip on you softened. 

“Do you think that it’s easy?” He asked, and you felt like you were insulted. Probably should defend yourself, but you wanted to know what the hell he was talking about. “Easy? What do you mean?” Did he say you were easy? No wait, he’d asked if it was easy, don’t go off subject.

“You never let anyone get close to you. Putting up these walls around you, several defences. In the beginning, you wouldn’t talk to anyone, and you were all about formalities.” 

Had you slacked? Well, you had gotten to know a significant amount of your bosses a lot better, and felt that you could have a more casual work relationship with them. Was that so wrong?

“And when you started talking to me, you were infuriating, intolerable. There was just something about you that instantly made me hate you. Took me a long time to figure out what it was as well.”

Completely releasing you of his grip, you sat up straight, and he seated himself next to you. Looking in thought, staring out into his room at nothing in particular, you didn’t feel ready for what was to come next. It was nauseating. 

“To me, you started out as… This useless machine. You’d clean, which you weren’t even good at, and do whatever you wanted all day. You seemed like such a free-loader, and I knew exactly what they were paying you to do whatever you wanted. The job could have gone to anyone, surely there were people that deserved it more.”

Looking at your own hands, you knew he was right. Took you a long time to get things cleaned the right way, and you were still not sure whether you deserved this job or not. Didn’t feel like you had what it took to be here, to be with Overwatch.

“I felt like I had to teach you everything, which annoyed me to no end, because I didn’t really enjoy your company. It was like asking for a puppy and receiving a dead fly. You getting the job, over other way more qualified people, was fuelling my anger. Then there was the fact that you’d start talking back.”

After a month of getting lectured and yelled at, you’d started handing him some… Not so great feedback comments, which caused arguments and getting yelled at some more. 

“After long and trying missions, you would always be there. Making my days worse. Especially when you’d done a piss poor job at keeping the base clean. You took my harsh words, my curses, and even if you’d at times hand me back a comment, it was like you just let me say whatever I’d like to you. I didn’t even feel bad.”

How reassuring, when the fuck will this get a ‘but’ you wondered. You applauded him for being honest and telling you how shitty you are, but you really had other things to do. Better things than listening to his little self-righteous speech.

“Even the way you looked annoyed me.” Wow, thanks Hanzo, you were going to leave soon, “So… Bland. You looked like you’d died three times over, never ever giving anyone a smile.” 

“Okay, I’m not going to- “

“But I didn’t realize that wasn’t your fault.” Hm? “I didn’t know the hardships you were going through; you didn’t know mine.” That much was true, but exactly where was this conversation going? ‘I have it so bad, which is why I made you feel even worse’? Because you’d not accept anything like that.

“When I met with your brother I did quite the… extensive research, but that’s beside the point. After two months I realized that people had started feeling comfortable around you. They’d request things more often, and you always had something to do.”

Really? You hadn’t really felt that they were comfortable around you at all, not even now.

“People started talking about you, that whenever you brought that,” He pointed to your Roomba, which was playing quiet, classical music and eating away at your dust. Your baby, your sweet prince. “That you’d smile, and that it was the best experience and view that they’d ever looked upon. I didn’t get it, not at all.”

“You were just another machine, a person in the background, a pushover, someone that didn’t deserve to be in my presence.” Put it all together and you got all the ingredients to create you! “I wanted to see, for myself. I was curious, how a peculiar machine like you, could get people talking.”

“Then it happened, you were cleaning with your dear little duster, and your whole being changed. You looked… new. It was like you suddenly were a different person. I observed from afar and couldn’t help but look at you in awe. The way your face lit up, your eyes sparkled and you… You looked so good.”

Finally, he was getting to his point, that you suddenly looked good because he had stalked you and you had smiled at your baby prince. Giving Hanzo a glance, he was staring you down, which made you look away and nervously fidget a bit. Even if you didn’t like the man in front of you, he still made you blush a bit at his compliments.

“I’d get you to come clean, even if it wasn’t necessary, just to get a reaction. But you didn’t smile. Not to me at least, and that… Really stung, made my chest feel all weird. I wanted you to smile at me, but at the same time you made me feel horrible. I used to be so calm, cool, patient, collected. I still am around most people, but not you, never you.”

So he was just treating you like shit then, just because he wanted you to smile? What kind of fucked up logic is that?

“I didn’t want anyone else to make you smile, I wanted to be the one, and I didn’t even know why.” Because he was beginning his obsession with you? Sounds about right. “I haven’t… Ever felt like that. I haven’t had the time, I used to be a clan leader, which meant there was no time for me to be alone. And the closest thing to ‘romance’ was sexual relief from willing women. I’ve never had anything like what I have now. I’ve never been free.”

“So, you want a relationship with me or whatever the fuck? Because- “

“I’m not trying to force something onto you. I’m sorry for, this,” he pointed to the both of you, “I just, never know how to act around you. I’ve never felt like this for another person.” Oh, that sure as hell explained a lot, maybe you should just teach him what romance was then?

“My uncertainty and feelings blinded me, and they still do. I hurt you, verbally, mentally and physically. I’d understand it if you never wanted to see me again, because that’s what I’d do in your position. Yet, I don’t want that, at all. I’d be really hurt, but I might be able to move on. Please,”

He took your hand, and you looked at him. He looked… down… Sorrowful, melancholy, heartbroken. You hated situations like these, you never wanted anyone to feel bad, especially if you were the reason why. You wanted to say something, but he continued,

“You said you’d be willing to try, to at least give me a second chance, and that’s more than I deserve. I’d advise you not to give me that chance, even if I want a chance at redemption, I know I shouldn’t be getting that. I love you enough to know that you shouldn’t be with me.”

Giving you a little smile, you couldn’t help but feel bad. Never had someone been so honest with their feelings towards you, it’d mostly been during drunken calls that you’d gotten a love confession out of anyone. Even if you had previous significant others, they’d never been as, direct.

“I’ll hurt you, and I don’t want that. I don’t want you to feel bad, ever. Which involves me not being close to you, and as much as it pains me to say that… I really want you to stay away from me. Don’t pick up my requests, don’t say hello to me, don’t stay in the same room as me.”

Okay, that was not okay. What he was saying did something to you, and tears were for the second time this day spilling. Hanzo cursed and reached over to wipe away your tears.

“I don’t want you to be near anyone that can or will hurt you, which means, I don’t want you to be close to me, not at all.” You gave off a small hiccup, and he held your hand, gently rubbing his thumb over it.

“You’re too good. Even so, you deserve a normal life, and I cannot give you that, not with Overwatch. It’s better that I’m hurt now and give up, rather than dragging you away from your freedom. I want to do that to you, I want to keep you for myself, not ever let you leave my side. But I can’t do that to you, because I love you.”

Giving off another hiccup, you just had to butt in, didn’t you?

“But how? Do you even know me?” He chuckled, and smiled solemnly at you, “No. Not well at least, because I know that I’d never be able to let you go if I did. Fuck, I just, love you so much.”

Maybe it was because you were tired, maybe it was his kind words or that you were too damn emotional, but you gave him a quick peck on his lips. Only catching yourself afterwards. You felt mortified, what had you just done?

“Please…” It appeared as though Hanzo was shaking a bit, “Don’t kiss me again.” 

You moron you, he wanted to be left alone to mull things over, and here you’d done gone and delivered him a kiss.

“I wouldn’t be able to handle myself if you did. Please leave.” You gave a short nod and left for the door. Taking a look back to Hanzo, he looked longingly towards you, he didn’t want you to leave his life, but had already accepted his fate.

“In another life, right?” You asked taking a step outside you heard a confirmation. It took everything inside of you not to run back to him and plant another kiss on his lips.

The door closed behind you. You’d left your Roomba behind, so you were a bit fucked on the dramatic leave thing. You needed to go back inside, but as of right now, you’d wait it out a bit. Thinking over what he’d said.

 

“If you were like this all the time, I would probably fall in love with you.”

You heard a noise, someone was walking down the hallway.

 

“What was that babe?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god, who can that be? ANOTHER LOVE INTEREST?!!? No but really tho, Reader really needs to get back their dear sweet dust prince Roomba the first.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, as always, I'm available on both Tumblr and Twitter so just hmu ; )))))
> 
> (Im sorry this one's so short and late, I've been having exams all week, or I've been working, driving etc. I'll get to write tomorrow though SOOOO!!! I'm going to create a schedule so you guys don't have to wait for days without knowing when this fiction will update, don't worry babes)


	22. Cigar ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *warnin - a lil smoochin

Heart beating rapidly, eyes puffy and reddened from old tears, you looked at the man in front of you. You must look like a mess standing outside Hanzo’s room looking like this.  
McCree, which never truly enjoyed being angry, looked ready to kill.

“What did he do babe? Did he hurt ya?”

Physically? He had done nothing, or well, your wrist stung a bit from his hard grip, but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle. Emotionally? Yes, you were emotionally hurt. His words had hurt you so much, and even if you were somewhat glad he’d stop pursuing you, or at least try to, it didn’t mean that you didn’t feel sorry for him.

“N-no. He didn’t. I just need a moment; I guess…”

You said while trying to walk past McCree. Feeling bad was going to get you nowhere, and telling him what’d happened wouldn’t help him either. Though, you still felt like you should tell McCree something, but it was like you’d forgotten.

But he wouldn’t let you walk very far, not before grabbing you from beneath and hoisting you up into his arms, like a bride. Freaking out would do you no good, but how could you not slightly panick from suddenly being picked up and carried off to god knows where? 

Giving him a look that said ‘please put me down’, he decided to ignore you and continued to carry you off, his spurs clinking along the way. Shuffling a bit, you tried to indicate that you really wanted to get down. What the fuck was going on?

“Stop thrashing.”

Already having enough of his shit, you continued to move in his grip. 

“Put me down.”

Clicking his tongue, he looked down at you, giving off his answer. He wouldn’t let you go, not until you’d arrived at your destination.

“I got two legs, there’s a reason I have them. To use them. I can walk wherever we’re going on my own, you know.”

You said, trying to persuade him into letting you go. His response? A tight squeeze into your ass and a sly smirk. The action made you flustered, what was with the whole flirting shit around you lately, how many romantic interests did you have by now?! There’s Hanzo, then McCree, and who can forget Genji, and you were certain that there was something weird going on between you and 76, but you weren’t certain.

“Ya can use ‘em later,” He winked, you blushed, “As of right now, I’m gonna carry ya.”

“At least tell me where we’re going.”

“Curious, ain’t we babe? We’re making things official.”

‘Official’? What the fuck does he mean by that. What were you making official? The only thing you could think off that matched what he’d said was marriage, but you didn’t even fucking know him well enough to even consider that.

“What the fuck are we making official? Because I’m not going to get married to anyone that I barely know, who barely knows me.”

Scoffing at you, he gave you a bored look, but at least you knew by his body language that it wasn’t what he’d meant. Thank goodness for that, because you were not ready to get hitched.

Turning a corner, you were heading down the hallway of Level D. Where were you going? To the elevator? He stopped in front of a door, and carefully managed to get his key card out and scanned it. It opened, and you both entered. Recognizing the room, you could tell it was his. 

You’d cleaned here several times before, but not ever since you’d had that argument. Oh! That was what you’d forgotten! You still had to give people apologies. Though, now you couldn’t really give one to Hanzo, since he’d asked you to stay away from him. Unless you, unless you wanted him. Let’s not focus on that, let’s just focus on the fact that you’re being carried to the cowboys bed.

He sat down, and you were still in his lap. Breathing rather rapidly, you couldn’t help but feel the oddly sexual friction in the air. ‘Official’. Was he referring to something sexual? Did he want to be your… first? 

“Ya look nervous.” He commented, “There’s no need to be, y’know.”

What the fuck was that?! You didn’t want to be here anymore, you didn’t want to be in his room, in his bed, on top of his lap, thinking things like this. Squirming a bit, you were trying to wiggle loose from his grip, but it was proving to be more difficult than you could imagine.

However, your wiggles were somewhat welcome. Your ass grinding a bit against him. When it came to mind, you abruptly stopped your thrashing, you needed to calm down a bit anyways. Taking a couple deep breaths, you had to reconsider your situation and take control.

“Why did you bring me to your room?”

You asked, calmly, refined, professionally. There was no need to be nervous, just like he’d said.

“I wanted to talk t’ ya. But you’ve been rather busy lately, didn’t want to bother ya.”

Oh, well, he wasn’t wrong. There’d been a lot on your plate lately, especially when you had to help take care of your brother as well. Not that he wasn’t self-sufficient, just that you felt the need to stay next to him as much as possible.

“You could’ve requested a talk though?” You suggested, examining him. You were still in lap and his arm, which was still on your back, rubbed your sides a bit. It sent several chills down your spine, how dare he? He seemed to know one of your weak spots.

“Didn’t want to. Spontaneous talks are the way t’go babe. Especially with ya.” His rubbing stopped, and he all but too casually held your side, just above your hip bone.

“So what was it you wanted to make ‘official’?” Giving you another one of his infamous shit eating grins, you could feel some heat rising to your cheeks. 

“My ‘official’ apology t’ ya, babe.”

Wait. 

Was he about to apologise to you?

Weren’t you supposed to be the one giving him an apology, for yelling at him, for breaking his nose with your boot, for stealing and bloodying his serape?

“I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with, yet you’ve been nothin’ but patient with me. My relentless flirtin’ is apparently a major dislike when people ain’t interested in me, especially when they’ve said so. Yet I’ve still… continued t’ make yer life harder. That’s the first thing I’m sorry for babe.”

His hand was still on your side, but now it was gently squeezing into the fabric of your t-shirt and flesh. He wasn’t wearing his grin anymore, he looked… Solemn. He shifted a bit, and reached for his hat, which he placed on the side of his bed. Damn, he had luscious locks!  
You really felt like twiddling and playing with his hair now, but that’d be awkward, especially considering your position.

“Today’s mission was… tryin’, like always. I remember yer comment on the whole ‘One-night stand’ thing, which made me realize somethin’. A while ago actually, before you told me off. I’ve never really, been, able t’ think about settling down. When I passed 35, I couldn’t help but think of all my wasted years. People my age have two maybe three kids, a house and a beautiful wife to come home to every day,”

Ouch, felt like a slap in the face when he mentioned what you’d said during your rage. But it was good that you knew, at least you’d never say it ever again. Though you were now mulling what he’d said. How people your age weren’t like you. How they all had a rather normal life, and someone to come home to. A place in society, that was safe.

“I tried my best to ignore it, but how can I? I’m not goin’ to pretend that what ya said didn’t hurt, especially considering someone finally called me out, but it’s the truth.”

Fuck, you were such a bad human being.

His metal hand patted his side, looking for something. Apparently he found whatever it was, and took it out on display. A thick Cuban cigar. You knew he had a habit of smoking them before battle, that much you knew from Hana’s war stories, but you couldn’t help but find it unnecessary when he was talking to you.

“Mind if I smoke?” Yes, you did mind. But it really wasn’t your place to say whether he could smoke or not in his very own room. “Just don’t spill any hot ash on me, I don’t feel like getting burnt today.” He chuckled, expertly managing to light it and chucked it between his teeth.

“Been having t’ smoke a lot more, now that we’re not allowed t’ drink at the base. Couldn’t get past Athena, scanned me for any alcoholic traces. Royally sucks.”

Shit, was it really that serious? Ignoring the fact that this man was ruining himself, you looked away.

“Sorry about that…” You whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear you. “Must be hurtin’ ya too? Yer not exactly a light drinker, even if ya can’t handle yer drinks.”

“I’ve been trying to quit, shouldn’t really be drinking while I’m on medication.”

He seemed to be studying you, did you say something strange? 

“Almost forgot.”

Letting out a puff of smoke, carefully trying not to hit you with it straight in the face, he snaked an arm up underneath your shirt, feeling your back. You were not really feeling like getting touched anymore today, and was about to protest, when he continued,

“Back on track, I realized, I’d really been cravin’ that normal life. At least someone to get home t’ everyday, someone to fight for. Guess somewhere along the line, after considering all my options, I could only seem t’ think of ya babe,”

Another puff of smoke, and a long stroke against your back. You shuddered a bit into his touch, and thought of how he could probably feel all your old battle scars. No longer did you feel comfortable wearing a backless dress, it felt ruined.

“Yer always here, always waitin’ patiently. Can’t help but imagine how it feels like if ya waited for…” He seemed to stop himself, and blew another puff of smoke, and dabbed the excess ash on the floor. He was lucky it wasn’t carpeted or wooden, you were the one who needed to clean it. You’d have to teach him how to not make your job fucking impossible.

“Anyways, I was also thinkin’ bout how I treated ya. Seems even now I can’t help but feel like touching ya, just tell me to stop if yer uncomfortable.” You were a tad bit uncomfortable, but you didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. Plus, it felt kind of good being touched like this…

“I apologise for everything; I’ve treated ya… So poorly. In consideration of what ya deserve.”

Not really though, he’d just flirted with you. You’d just been in a mood and acted out on it.   
It was a bit comical how he apologised when you were the one that was supposed to be the one apologising. 

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be sorry. I’ve told you some horrible things, which was totally uncalled for. I was emotional, angry, and took it out on you when you tried to stop me. What I said cannot be taken back, I hurt you, with intention. What I said was wrong. What you do, what you choose to do, is completely up to you. Me commenting on how you choose to live your life is wrong.

I’m sorry for calling you just a cheap ‘one-night stand’ when you’re so much more than that. I’m sorry for what I said. And… did. I panicked when you pushed me down, and just, stopped thinking. I’m sorry for breaking your nose, I wasn’t thinking properly. Situations like that usually end up going south and… I had to be alive to come to my brother’s rescue.”

Then there was that. Even after all you’d done to hurt him, he still rushed into action, defying several rules created by Overwatch, just to save your brother. He had done it for you, at least that’s what you wanted to believe. 

He gave a couple last puffs of his cigar, and tossed it on the ground, stomping on it. Gross, you’d have to clean that up later. You shifted in his lap, facing him, legs on either side of his bed. 

“Then there’s the fact that you… Saved my brother. Why’d you do it? What was your drive? Because I don’t think I-“ ‘Was reason enough.’ Is what you’d wanted to say before he interrupted you.

 

“I did it for you.”

 

Well, that answered that, or did it? Sure, he did it for you. But why’d he do it for you?

“I see… but, you didn’t have to, why did you want to do it for me?”

His hands were back on your hips yet again, feeling your sides, up and down. He grinned, looking like he’d just won the lottery.

 

“Ain’t it obvious babe?”

 

But you’ve barely interacted with him? Even though your conversations have always been flirtatious, you never really imagined him to actually like you. You were… You. 

 

“So you’re interested as well?”

 

You asked, sighing a bit. Your ever growing love interests was getting to you. They really needed to get out more often, maybe you should bring it up with Winston or 76?  
Seemed like most people around here needed to get laid.

“Could say that. I’m at least interested in seeing where things are goin’. You’re the most special gal around.”

Jees, thanks. 

“Wait, what do you mean by ‘interested as well’?”

Had he picked up on that? He scowled at you, studying your face, his hands had stopped moving. 

“Other people on base have expressed their interest in trying to court me.” You said as a matter of fact, damn, where had your insecurities gone? Why did you just suddenly have balls of steel? Maybe it was the fact that you were tired.

If looks could kill, you thought, McCree looked infuriated. As if someone had stabbed him in his back, insulted his mother and totally fucked his huckleberry. His metal arm moved, his fingers tangled in your hair.

“Who?”

He asked, no, demanded.

“Does it matter?” You asked innocently, trying to calm his anger. Was he the insanely jealous type? Because you hadn’t expected him to be. Where people would normally huff and tell you ‘no, just…’, let’s just say he had a different reaction to this information.

Tugging gently at your hair with one hand, he used his other to push you close into his form. You could smell the cigar smell from his lips, that’s how close you were. You could feel each other’s breath hitting each’ skin. Close.

“Yes. Gotta know who my rivals are.”

Rivals? Was he going to fight for you? Could’ve been a major turn on if it was fictional, but considering this was real life, which could mean that someone got hurt, you’d have to it

“Really? You worried?” You asked slyly, whilst smirking. You could actually flirt when you wanted to, which would be almost never. As of right now though, flirting depended on the safety of others, and damn if you didn’t want to keep people safe.

“Should I be?” He asked, picking up on your amazing flirting skills.

 

“With someone as handsome as you… I wouldn’t really be worried.”

 

You knew what would happen next, it was welcomed. Even with Genji’s kissing, you still needed more. You needed someone to make you feel good. It’d been such a long time since someone had held you like this, kissed you like this. You needed a lot of loving, and McCree was willing.

His hand pushed the back of your head forward, and you kissed him. Your hands moved, and were now around his neck, holding him close. Parting your lips, just a bit, you sucked gently at his lower lip, nibbling. Taking a hint, his lips parted too, and your tongues met. 

Having kissed several people before, you could tell from experience if someone were doing it ‘right’. By ‘right’, you meant that it was making you into a hot mess. The kiss, which turned into a make out session lasted for long. Starting slow, sweet, but generally picking up the pace.

Your hot and heavy breaths mixed with his, and you couldn’t stop yourself. It’d been so long, so long since you’d felt the need to kiss someone. Not that Genji hadn’t been satisfying you enough, but you knew McCree a whole lot better. There had to be an emotional relationship between you and someone to take you to another level.

Right hand leaving his neck, while your left was tangled up in his hair, it moved across his chest. Feeling the features of his outfit, you so desperately wanted to feel his skin against yours. You were craving the sensation of skin on skin, and you were going to get it, one way or another.

But you weren’t the only one who seemed to be craving it, as he raised your shirt above your head and tossed it to the side. Your chest, rising up and down, revealed to the world. Or well, just to the man in front of you. He seemed to want to take it further, brushing against the back of your bra. You weren’t going to let him see your bare chest while he was hidden behind layers of clothing.

“Return the favour or I’ll leave.” You whispered huskily between the kisses. He seemed more than willing to comply, and you leant a bit back, letting him undress. This gave you time to think about what you wanted to do. Kissing? Yes. Touching? Oh definitely. Potentially a hand job or blow job? Hm…   
Sex? Not today, you still had a lot of work left to finish.

His chest was heaving a bit as well, the two of you were out of breath from the Frenching. The serape was tossed to the side, the same place as your shirt. Then he removed the chest plates, slowing down to the point where it wouldn’t even be considered fun teasing. Was something wrong?

“You okay?” You asked, brushing some of his hair behind his ear. He looked at you, searching for something. Had you gone too far? Pushed him to a point where he felt uncomfortable?  
You weren’t exactly sex-crazed, but you sometimes did feel like you were pushing people into something they didn’t want to. Or so you thought at least.

“We can stop? I’m not really down for sex today so anyways,” But he cut you off with a kiss to your neck. A soft, sweet, chaste little peck. The whole action made your already constant blush redden significantly. 

“Just thinkin’ bout things.” He said, yet again returning to undressing. He was finally topless and damn, he was fucking rugged. You knew he’d look athletic, but fuck, he looked toned as fuck. Stone hard abs and beautiful tanned skin. He was downright gorgeous.

“Holy fuck.” You said, scanning the man in front of you. He chuckled a bit, and held you close, your breasts squeezing together in the process. “Yer not so bad yourself babe.” Being naked wasn’t something you quite enjoyed, but right now you couldn’t help but feel good about yourself.

“What were you thinking about?” No, no that’s a mood killer and you wanted to get back to the kissing. Why- oh why did you have to ask him? Curiosity or just general worry?  
You’d never imagined him to just stop like that, was he having second thoughts?

His gaze locked with yours, he looked somewhat troubled. “Just…” He started, then looked away, and the tight grip around you was no longer there. Good job. You hurt his feelings yet again.

“Thinkin’ bout how I don’t want to ruin what we got.” 

“What do you mean?”

He shifted a bit, the best he could when you were sitting on his lap.

“I fuck things up babe, and I fuck up a lot.” Was he… feeling insecure? “I don’t want t’ lose ya.”

Okay, if anything this made your heart soar. Even while he was uttering one of his fears, he could still make you feel flustered. He yet again looked you, dead in the eye. His serious look, chills were sent down your spine and you shook a bit.

“You… I don’t want ya to feel trapped, I want ya to be free.” Free? What did he mean by that? You were already free. “To go wherever ya want without a bounty hangin’ above yer head. I’m not exactly a man of the law, even if I work for Overwatch. You’d be a constant target.” You already were.

“’s not like I could always protect ya either, I’d put you through so much shit.” Well, you’ve already been through a lot of shit. As your brother had told you, you were already a target. It’s not like you’d just suddenly get rid of it, even if you could go into hiding.

“I don’t want ya t’ be in danger because of me. Just because I’m bein’ selfish and want ya all to my own, you’d always be in danger… I couldn’t do that to ya.”

Biting your lip, you gave him a small smile. It’s not like you didn’t know how to defend yourself, and it’s not like you hadn’t been through tons of shit before. You can’t have a normal life, even if that’s your dream. Not when you’ve done the things you have. You were already a target, already in danger.

“Seems like you’re forgetting something…” You started, taking a hold of his face. You brushed over his lip with your thumb and licked your lips a bit. “I’m not just a groundskeeper here at base, I’m also 5-308.”

He didn’t ease up, this time it was his time to look a bit flustered. Good going, kudos to you!

“I’ve been through hell and back, I’ve done shit unimaginable. I want a normal life too, but that won’t be easy. I’m a target, not a big one, but still a target. Don’t think for a second that I can’t defend myself if a situation calls for it. If,” 

You gently kissed him, and you could tell he didn’t want it to be over with so quickly, but you still had things to tell him.

“If something happens between me, and anyone really, I need to be sure that they are able to defend themselves. I imagine you can get the job done, no matter the situation?”

“Babe…” He started, and pushed you close to his chest yet again, “I always finish the job.”

 

After your little talk, the kissing had ensued, and in your now moaning state, you almost felt ready to get fucked. But as he nipped gently at your skin, you remembered, you still had a fucking job to do. Huffing and puffing, you tapped him a bit, to indicate that you needed a short break. 

He looked up at you, lust filled his eyes. You could tell he was struggling to stop, but you really needed to get back to work. 

“I’m still at work.” You said, pushing yourself up from his bed. He made a face, as though you’d insulted him yet again. “Really now? Thought ya could say ‘no’ t’ requests?”   
Well you could, and you wanted to right now, but you did need a pay check as well. Which you got from working, which meant taking and finishing requests.

“I can, but I still need to work for quite a bit. Can’t always slack off.” 

You said while pushing him off of you. Now, where was your bra? 

“Ya sure ya can’t stay?” He asked. Not like you wanted to leave, you were quite the happy-mess right now, that couldn’t seem to be thinking straight. You needed to work, at least you believed you had to.

“Have to work.” You said, and thought to yourself, holy shit, what had you just done?!

 

You’d fucking made out with your boss! Not like you already hadn’t… Had you absolutely lost it though? Here you were kissing some man, which you didn’t even fucking know that well, ready for a fuck. It was a good thing you were going to leave, you really needed to reconsider your life.

Clasping on the bra, putting the shirt over your head, you looked in a mirror McCree had, hanging next to his door. Your hair was a mess. Your makeup smudged. Your cheeks tinted. It looked like you’d either been mauled by a bear or fucked someone expertly. The latter seemed more plausible, so you were glad you’d brought a hair tie.

Putting your hair up, just into a simple pony tail, you already looked a bit better. However, you weren’t the only one who thought that, as you were given quite the wolf whistle. Jumping a bit at the loud sound, you turned to McCree, who was grinning.

“Too bad we didn’t get any further, guess I’ll just have to wait a bit.” 

Maybe he would, maybe not. You had a lot to think about. You felt like your head was spinning a bit. Trying your best to even out your makeup, with your somewhat clammy hand, you looked a bit fresher. Although your bags were still present, you looked refreshed and your lips puffier.

You still had things you wanted to talk with McCree about though. Like, saying your thanks for him rescuing your brother. You know what, let’s just say it now, you didn’t have anything to lose.

“Thank you,” Good start, “For rescuing my brother. That… means a lot to me. That you’d do something like that for me. I can’t begin to thank you, but I’m grateful. Doing something like that, I just… Whatever you want, you can have it.” He raised a brow. Oh damn, phrasing.

“I’ll do anything you ask of me.” Anything. He could have anything he wanted, except for your brother to get hurt, and you’d willingly give it to him.

“Anything?” He asked, and you gave a short nod. Took a moment, he looked in thought. Fishing out another cigar from a packet he had lying in the drawers of his nightstand, cutting the end off and lighting it up, he seemed to think long and hard. 

A couple puffs, and he was done thinking it over, you thought.

“Sorry babe, can’t think of anything at the top of my head, but I’ll definitely figure out what I want later. For now, I’ll just be satisfied with what we have, right?” 

He rose from his seat and headed over to where you were standing. Taking a long drag, he blew the smoke past you, and using his metal hand, pushed you close, smack into his chest. His warm, muscular chest.

“Go do your job babe, I can wait for you, as long as you need.”

Smacking your ass, you gasped. Was this even okay for you? Should you be okay with all this touching, all these declarations of interest? It wasn’t completely unwanted, but it was unprofessional. Is this what you wanted?

You really needed to sit down and think all this information over. Instead of focusing on all those thoughts, you took a hold of McCree’s cigar, and gave him a chaste kiss. Even if you didn’t enjoy cigarettes, the smell made you sick to your stomach, you didn’t mind the smell of cigars as much. Giving him a little smile, you handed him back the rest of his cigar.

“Don’t kill yourself okay?” He looked at you and feigned offence, “All the smoking and drinking isn’t good for you, at least cut down a bit. I’d rather have you coming to me for your buzz.” What were you saying?!

 

“Fine babe, I’ll remember that.”

 

 

Tossing the used, wet and dirtied mop into the bag, along with other used cloths and mops, you headed to the washing room. You had finished all the requests for the day. Feeling accomplished, you looked at the time on your device. Shit, it was past midnight already.

Time to mull over some of the shit which had happened today. Technically yesterday, but who were you to judge the technicalities of things? Time wasn’t real, just a human made concept. Anyways, time to think things through.

Three people had now told you they were interested.   
Three, that you knew of at least.   
One of them had told you to stay away unless you were interested, the other had voiced their interest in attempting to court you, and the third seemed too invested in you to think that you’d ever want to date anyone else.

Let’s just focus on the easiest one, which would be the one who’d told you they were just interested. A crush is simple enough, it can lead to something, or not. A crush can be easy to get over, you can easily move on. He can lose interest, that could be in your favour, as there was a lot on your plate. 

What would you choose to do with Genji? Ignore it for now, because he can lose interest.  
A simple enough solution.

Next one, Hanzo. He’d told you to leave him alone because he couldn’t treat you right. You could argue that no one is 100% sure of how to treat another human being, but from experience, which was a lot of experience, he tended to be aggressive. Aggression is not a good trait, and he’d hurt you, in several ways. That meant that actually starting a relationship could end with you in an abusive relationship.

That’s far from what you wanted. Although… You did believe in that people could change, and you’d technically given him a ‘second’ chance to change and better himself.  
Your solution for this very problem would be to be patient, and see where it takes you.

The last one, was somewhat tricky. McCree really liked you, and you’d shown him lots of affection, which would indicate you also, somewhat, like him back. But did you really like him back? Figuring out if you liked him back, would be the solution to this problem. It troubled you that you had such little control over knowing how to feel about someone. 

 

Accidentally dropping your mop, that you’d been dragging along to the washing room, made you jump a bit. Luckily, you didn’t spill any filthy soap water from your bucket, but it still didn’t mean that the whole ordeal hadn’t freaked you a bit. You’d been lost in your thoughts yet again. Picking up the mop, you continued your walk through the hallways to the washing room.

You started to zone out yet again, get back to thinking about solutions for your troubles.

 

Back on track, McCree was kind, flirtatious, attractive, funny. Yet there seemed to be something lacking? He hadn’t told you anything about himself, when you thought about it. You didn’t know his likes or dislikes, not his past or his wishes for the future. Sure he’d told you he wanted a somewhat normal life, but who in your line didn’t? That was a dream, but not really a future set in stone.

What you actually knew about him seemed to be so scarce. His whole life was unknown to you, you had no personal information about him, and whenever you talked to him, it always seemed to be about how much he enjoyed you. Not as a person though, because he didn’t know you, but as just about anyone.

You didn’t feel like being the wife in a movie that gets no background, because that’s what he made you feel like. When you thought about it, he only made you feel good when you could please him. What if you were in a situation where you didn’t have the energy or strength to take any of his flirts?

Feeling like an object, just a pretty object that he owned, was not something you wanted. Sure, he seemed like a good guy and all, but at the end of the day, you wanted something different. Maybe he could give it to you when you knew him better, maybe not.  
Only time could tell.

But the same went for all three of them, they didn’t know you. They had not taken their time to talk about what you liked, what they liked, besides finding you appealing. Heck, the Junkers knew you a lot better, and they’d never even expressed any interest in you. They didn’t seem to think about appearance, and complimented your skills, instead of your body.

Although Genji had said that he wanted to know you better, he’d still kissed you, twice. Or, maybe you were yet again overthinking this whole situation? You’d heard of people falling in love fast, and hard, it’d happened to several of your friends. They’d seemed really happy too!  
But it’d always ended poorly, because they didn’t know each other well enough…

So, it was back to square one. They didn’t know you well enough to actually ‘like-like’ you. With Genji, it might be simpler, since he’d only told you he was interested, not that he actually liked or loved you. With Hanzo… it was more difficult. McCree seemed to wanting to get to know you along the way, which would have been fine, had you been in your early twenties, which was a time for experimentation. 

Now, in your mid-twenties, you wanted something more consistent. You decided, that your next relationship, would be your ‘last’. By that you meant that you’d only look for a relationship that’d last for a long time, not just the span of two-three years, but with someone that you could settle down with.

Alas, you digressed. What you needed was patience and time. They needed to know you a lot better before you could decide what your next action would be. An old friend of yours had always told you romance was spontaneous and to just ‘go with the flow’, but could you really?

 

All the cloths and mops were white, which meant you could just toss them in together. As you opened the washing machine door, you couldn’t help but notice, something felt wrong.  
Not knowing what felt wrong, was not good. You’d taken your medications, you shouldn’t be feeling too paranoid at least, but there was definitely something wrong. 

And there it was, the thing that was out of place. Someone had spilled some bleach on the floor. The air felt slightly different, and you already felt somewhat woozy from the smell. Sighing, you put on some gloves and used an old mop to wipe the stain off the floor.

Tossing the mop along with the other cloths, you pressed start. The machine started of gently, and gave you an indication that it’d be done in just an hour. Why laundry machines hadn’t been the focus on technology was beyond you, they had hardly advanced. Sure there were washing and drying machines built into one, but that was it. No one focused on laundry, when there were cool new weapons to be built!

You yawned and stretched, your back giving off a couple cracks. Just had to put the mop staff back in the supply closet along with your emptied bucket. Too tired to even think of moving your ass back to the supply closet, you let the staff and bucket stay behind. You’d come pick them up in a couple hours anyways, along with clean cloths and mops. 

 

“Still up?” you asked, your nightstand light was on and your brother seemed to be typing away on his computer. One day, he’d ruin his fucking vision and back from sitting like that, you swear. He looked up and you started unlacing your boots.

“What time is it?” he asked, innocently, as if he didn’t already know it was past his ‘bedtime’. “You know what time it is,” you said all but too casually as you found a brush and black shoe cream. “We should find a more permanent place for you to be.” 

“What, don’t want me at base?” He asked, trying his best to sound offended, as you heard him close his computer. It was an older version he liked to use, mostly because with old technology it was harder to track you. It missed some viable functions, and didn’t exactly hold the same standard as todays computers. But your brother, the genius, had made it so it functioned better than most of today’s desktop computers. You were really proud.

“You know it’s not that, mind handing me some of that wrapper?” you pointed to the wrapper that you used to place under your shoes when you were shining them. Didn’t want shoe cream all over the floor. 

“Just someplace where you can relax and unwind. You’re working here, even when you’re supposed to be in hiding.” He casually shrugged, “You, sir, are in dire need of a vacation. Put down your computer, play some video games, watch some new series, go on a shopping spree, read a book, do whatever you want! You have the time.”

Scrubbing your boots with your brush, you tried your best to free them of any dirt. “It’s not so easy, I need to stay on top of my game. And who knows, maybe everything will change tomorrow, and I’ll have to learn a new system yet again.” Scoffing at what your brother had said, you brushed a bit harder at the worst parts. “Do you really think that your work goes over your health? Because it doesn’t. You know what, tomorrow I’m going to stop taking in requests after 4, and we’ll be looking for Zenyatta.”

“The Zenyatta? Is he here?” He asked, a bit surprised. Even if your brother seemed to think every member of Overwatch was pretty cool, he seemed to find this omnic the coolest. His favourite. If you were honest, you found him to be really cool as well, but Hana was definitely your favourite. 

“Of course he is, and we’ll ask to meditate with him. That way we’ll both get to relax, and you’ll be getting a new hobby.” You said, as you seemed satisfied with getting all the dirt off your boot. Time for the shining, you thought while putting some cream on the brush. “Really? You, meditate?” He laughed at you.

“I meditate!” You said, a bit offended. Although not as often as you’d like to, or as well as you imagined, at least you tried to at times. “Sure, keep telling yourself that lil sis.” He sighed, “But I agree, I do need to relax a bit more. Maybe it’d be fun? At least it’ll be an experience, right?”

You nodded at him and placed some more cream on the worst spots on your boots. “Also, I could really use your help with something.” You said, thinking back to what had happened, yesterday.

“Oh?” he asked, and you started scrubbing away at your boots, careful not to let the shoe cream splatter anywhere but on the wrapper. “You were right. Seems like some of my bosses have these weird crushes on me. I don’t know how to deal with it.”

At this, he placed the desktop computer in your nightstand drawer and sat up. “Tell me all about it.” He said, and you continued to scrub away. You needed to get that perfect shine. “Well, there’s one who’s just voiced their interest, that he’d like to get to know me better. He’s of course told me that he wanted to get to know me better in the romantic sense, but I don’t know how interested he’ll be when he figures out who I really am.”

Your brother snorted, “The laziest person in the world, with the most childish humour? I mean, you still laugh when I say ‘poop’.” You giggle snorted, only proving his point, “It’s only when you say it though!” He chuckled at you, “Still. You also got terrible habits, like leaving half drunken cups of tea around, you pile clothes up in a lump on a chair, and you pick at scabs.”

All true, your brother really knew you. “Anyways, tell me more, that was only one. Which one?” Blushing a bit, you really didn’t feel like telling him who. But you knew he’d pry, until he knew, so fuck it, you were going to be honest and tell him who. “That one was Genji.” You said, and he looked somewhat confused.  
“Green cyborg ninja.”

He looked as though he understood, and you continued telling him about your woes. “Then there’s Hanzo... Ever since I started working here, it seemed like he was out to get me. Anytime I’d do his requests, cleaning more often than not, he always found something wrong with my work and told me to go over.” 

Examining your work, your boots looked just as shiny as they had before you’d started using them this morning. “You know he’s your boss right? He’s supposed to tell you if you do a good or bad job, and how to improve.” Your brother said, and you suddenly felt a bit defensive. “I know that! He just does it in a… certain way.”

Placing your shoes next to your door and putting the wrapper away, you rose and cracked your back. “What way?” He asked, “Surely it can’t be any worse than what we were put through as recruits.” Well, that much was true. If anything, you enjoyed not being called a ‘insolent fucking good for nothing recruit’ any time they found a speck of dust. But you weren’t about to let Hanzo off the hook.

“But it’s not the military! And I’m not a recruit, I’m just a groundskeeper! We’re supposed to keep our relationship professional.” Your brother sighed. “Honestly? Doesn’t sound so bad. He is your boss after all, and there’s a reason as to why he hired you. If you aren’t doing a good job, he’s got two options. He can either fire you, which I’m guessing has to be a thing everyone agrees on. Or, he has to teach you how to do your job, even if he hates every fucking minute of it. I believe he chose the latter.”

When he put it that way, it kind of made a bit of sense at least. But it still didn’t mean some of the things he said was okay. But, what had he even said? Not like you really remembered his exact words, you’d just felt completely mistreated by him. “Well… I guess he’s called me some shitty things… I think he called me incompetent.” 

Your brother ‘tsk’d’ you, and you felt a bit defeated. Why was he taking his side all of a sudden? “I’d get really frustrated with my employees if they were incompetent too and I had to watch over them, because that’s what he does? Supervise you?” How’d your brother know? Wait, he was taking Hanzo’s side. Wasn’t that strange? Isn’t he supposed to take your side.

“What did he tell you?” You asked, putting your hair up into a messy bun. Just trying to act casual. Now your brother felt and looked defensive, “Nothing.” Oh, he had definitely said something. But you weren’t feeling like prying. But you weren’t giving up either.

“Did he tell you that he knocked me senseless, chipped two of my teeth, and then tortured me? I think that’s one detail he left out when the two of you had a ‘talk’.” Right, he had talked to your brother, because he looked shocked. Taking off your pants, putting on some sweats and quickly changing into your big loose t-shirt, you looked to your brother.

“He… did what to you?” 

“Before you came, I had to pick him and McCree up at the door because they were fucking trashed. Then shit went to hell, I was straddled to the ground, broke McCree’s nose, Hanzo almost kicked my ass, 76 almost choked me to death and then I was captured, isolated tortured and interrogated. No matter the reason, at least they went and got you, right?”

“You what?!” He yelled and stood up straight. You cringed a bit at his loud voice, but you were going to tell him the truth about what had happened so, you know, fuck it, might as well tell him now.

“I almost died. Don’t think for a second that they won’t lie and manipulate you to get what they want. Good thing they want me right? That’s why you were rescued. I’m not even technically allowed to leave base anymore.” Your brother seemed to be getting some sort of headache, considering he was now pinching the bridge of his nose.

“So, you’re stuck here?” He asked, “Sort of, yeah. So are you though, so it’s not all bad. Plus, I get paid so?” Opening the door to the bathroom you stepped inside and started washing off your makeup with some fresher make up wipes. “Why are you stuck here?”

“They believe I’m involved with Talon.” 

“You’re involved with Talon?! Are you out of your absolute mind! They are evil!” 

He practically screamed, and you yet again jumped a bit at his voice. 

“No, not really.” You started, but your brother cut you off, “Not really?! Sis they have killed so many people!” So had you, so had Overwatch, yet no one seemed to complain about that. “I am well aware. Besides, it’s not like I’m working for them.”

“But you have?” He asked frantically, and you almost felt insulted, “How dare you accuse me of that? For starters, we’ve co-operated when we’ve met on missions to gather the same information, secondly, no, I have never worked for them. Thirdly, I’m going to stop talking to you if you won’t calm down and listen to me!”

Taking a deep breath, your brother sat down on your bed. He was going to be quiet, at least for a while. “There we go… Now, back on track. Hanzo hasn’t treated me well, not as if I was an actual person at least. And then suddenly, after he attacks and tortures me, he calls me shit and then just tells me he ‘loves’ me? As if. The man clearly seems infatuated.”

“Sounds to me like they just need to get laid…” Your brother commented and you stifled a laugh, “Sure does.”   
Bringing out your toothbrush and squeezing some tooth paste on, you turned the faucet on and wet it. You sometimes had terrible manners, like brushing your teeth and talking, something only people close to you would know.

“Get this, I pick up one of his requests, today, and he’s back to his old self. Or so I think, he gets really flustered when I call him out on just wanting to hang out with me, then he just pushes me into bed- “ Your brother interrupts you with a ‘disgusted’ choke sound, “So,” you started brushing, “I of course freak out, then he just tells me the story about how he ‘fell for me’, and like. It was kind of nice? I really enjoyed his little speech.”

Hearing a humming sound, it seemed like your brother wanted to hear the rest. “He tells me he loves me, and I had agreed to give him a second chance and all. Then he says that he doesn’t want me to be around him.” You brush some more and spit into the sink. “Apparently it’s because he’s going to hurt me, and therefore I can’t be near him. If I do, that apparently indicates that I love him as well. What the hell kind of bullshit is that? I thought we were adults here, not some soap opera!”

“At least he’s not forcing himself on you though?” That was… somewhat true, but still, he should treat you just like any other person! Although, he sort of did? He treated you like a recruit, and even if you technically weren’t, it was still a somewhat ‘professional’ work relationship. Had you been overthinking shit again?

“I guess. Though I don’t want him to avoid me either, even if I know he’s perfectly capable of cleaning things himself. He’s still my boss, what if I have to gather some information from him or whatever and he thinks I ‘chose’ him? That’d be so fucked up.” You spit again and leaned down to your sink, sipping straight from the faucet. Rinsing and spitting you examined your face in the mirror.

“What are you going to do about that?” Your brother, who was yet again underneath his covers, asked. “No idea, I think I’ll just back off for a bit, and see where it takes me.” Releasing your hair from the messy bun, you found your hair brush and started brushing. 

“Okay so only two guys who are into you?” You shook your head, “Three, that I know of. Oh, and those first two are brothers.” You heard an ‘oh damn’, and you gave yourself another look over in the bathroom mirror before you started washing your hands. 

“Then there’s the last one, McCree,” “The Cowboy.” “The Cowboy.”

“The one who announced that you were ‘his’. Well, I kind of figured that one out myself sis.” You soaped up your hands, making sure your palms, fingers, cuticles and the part underneath your fingernails were clean. “You must tell me that story soon, but yes, I guess.”

“After he’d carried me off to his room, we had a talk, we both apologised to each other for some… things that had happened.” You let the warm water wash away all the bubbles and foam. “He said some rather… romantic things, like he didn’t exactly finish his sentence, but he said he’d love for me to wait for him back at base. And then we somehow ended up talking about how we were both a target and that we both wanted a normal life, or whatever and one thing led to another and…”

“You fucked the guy with a ‘BAMF’ belt?” Your brother said smugly, and you stuck your tongue out at him. Even in your mid-twenties, you felt like such a child. “No, we kissed. A couple times. You know how it is…” He gave you another hum.

Drying your hands, you turned to him. “He really likes me, but as you told me, it seems like he thinks I’m ‘his’. I don’t know whether I actually like him or not, and to me it feels a bit rushed.” He pushed your drapes a bit, letting you get into the bed.

“Then why don’t you tell him that you need to get to know him better to know?” Groaning, you put the blanket on top of you. “Do I have to? Can’t people just solve their own romantic feelings.” Hearing a laugh, you let yourself creep deeper into your bed. “You know perfectly well that’s not how it works.”

“Fine then, I’ll have a long chat with him, but you’ll have to be there to help me. Don’t need another kiss to confuse me any further.” 

“You know you don’t have to kiss him right?” your brother laughed, and you could feel heat rise to your cheeks. It’d been a long time since you’d kissed someone, at least for such a long time. Same thing with Genji though, you definitely craved some more of his kisses too.

“But I kind of want them…” 

“Then you have to understand that they can have romantic feelings for you. Giving them false hope. Or, you know, you could potentially try dating one, just to see where things go?”

“I’m too old for dating.” You said in-between a yawn, “You’re 25.” Damn, he was right, you weren’t very old. “I’m turning 26 though, that’s got to count for something, right?” 

“Athena, lights.” Your brother said, and you muttered a ‘please.’ No need to be rude, just because she’s an AI.

“For now, I’ll just ignore it all, and focus on getting my work done. That way I can get paid.”

“Sure lil sis, whatever you say. Also, found Hana in my bed earlier, almost punched her face in, just be glad I didn’t.” You snorted, you’d almost forgotten. Then with a somewhat, serious voice he said, “I think you should talk to her. Yesterday’s mission… didn’t go well, even if she looks fine, she’d spent around an hour getting healed with the staff that Mercy, or whatever, person carries around. Cicadas staff? Anyways, they almost didn’t make it. Must be why Hanzo and McCree was so ‘on edge’ yesterday.”

Oh? McCree had mentioned that yesterday’s mission had been trying, but not anything along the lines of almost not making it? What did you expect though? They were always on dangerous missions.

“I’ll talk to Hana during breakfast, ask her how she’s doing. I don’t think I’ve been the best friend I possibly could be to her. I’ll also check in with how the whole… situation,” By that you were referring to your brother and Sombra, and you and Reaper, “Because I’m really craving the sun. My skin is turning grey.”

“I can see, you look like you’re 40 years.” 

“Jerk, in that case you look like you’re 50.”

“Then I’m the sexiest 50-year-old around.” Him mentioning that, made you think of 76, how he’d asked you out for drinks. You thought he’d have asked you out for dinner, but were glad he shut up. You just weren’t quite there with him just yet, where you’d even consider the thought.

“You wish, anyways. After I’ve talked to Hana, I’ll work a couple hours, then we’ll look for Zenyatta and have a long ass meditation session with him. But for now, I’m real fucking tired.”

Your brother chuckled and ruffled your hair, “Night lil sis, love ya lots.”

Smiling. It felt kind of fantastic having your brother around. He made you instantly feel better.

 

“Good night bro, love you too, sleep well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOO BOI - what a kissing session, or what guys??? ;))) I told you guys that shit would get… better. Although now there's all that soap opera drama, but who doesn't love that!!!?
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this new chapter!! As always I'm available on Tumblr and Twitter, just hmu
> 
> (And I've finally created a somewhat schedule, I'll always get things posted on thursdays, no matter what. I've just been busy with some personal shit (haha fuck romance), work and finals)


	23. Friendzoned

“We need to talk.”

A plate of hot steaming oatmeal porridge was placed in front of the all too familiar brunette. Her face twisted into that of worry, and you couldn’t help but pity her. Serving the four other people that were seated around the table, you pulled out a chair next to her and stared.

“It has come to my attention that yesterday’s mission went… Not so well.” You started, as she tried to look away. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it, and you didn’t really feel like pushing her of an edge, which meant patience was virtue. “You know…” ‘that you can tell me anything.’ But before you could push her, you heard a gasp.

“My tongue! Hot!” You heard Tracer shout, as she grabbed a glass of cold water. The porridge was steaming, what had she expected? Turning towards Tracer, who was seated across from you, you gave her a sympathetic look. All of her water was poured into her mouth, a little spilling around the edges.

Your brother gave off a little chuckled, which caused you to elbow him in the side. Even if you sometimes found it hilarious when people would stumble and do a double take, you didn’t enjoy laughing at people who actually got hurt. “You okay?” you asked, before taking her hand in yours.

“Tracer, you need to be more careful, I don’t want you to get hurt. Especially not over some hot porridge. Take care of yourself, okay?” You said in a compassionate voice. Where was all this ‘mom’ attitude coming from? She gave you a little not and pushed some hair out of her face.

“Sorry, should’ve noticed the steam!” she said, now grinning. Giving her a gentle smile you gave everyone a look. “Be careful as to not burn yourselves. It’s ‘apparently’ really hot.” You heard Junkrat cackle and Roadhog gave off a hum. Yet, no sound coming from your closest friend.

“Do you want to talk Hana?” you asked, a hand on her back, gently rubbing, up and down. Seemed like she didn’t even want to meet your gaze, what had happened on this mission?  
“It didn’t go very well… Got the job done, but...”

“You know, when I used to come back home from my missions, I’d just lie still for a couple hours, sobbing. My mom would fuss about it, asking me what had happened, and I didn’t really feel like telling her the whole story. So, in order to get as much information out of me as possible, we’d play this little game.”

Giving you a look of confusion, you guessed you’d have to further explain your little game. “The game started with her telling me something nice, then I’d tell her one detail from the mission. It could be anything nice really, like how the sunrise made the sky light up in different colours, how soft the fur of puppies is, or how sweet it was to take off your heels after a long day at work.”

You smiled gently at her, wiping some of her bangs to the side. “Would you like to play that game later?” She seemed, troubled, to say the least. But gave you a slight nod indicating that she would be willing to have a talk later. Hugging her tight, you rubbed circles into her back. 

“Wait, what did you say about being on missions?” Had you let that slip? You looked almost horrified back at Tracer who had asked you. Hana was cuddled tight into your bosom, so she couldn’t help defend you. Your brother was the only one who could save you now. 

“Seriously?” He whispered angrily to you. Was he seriously mad that you hadn’t told your bosses about being 5-308? He sighed in annoyance and met with Tracer.

“Lil sis here, used to be a commander.” No! Don’t actually tell them! “And any time she’d be out in the field with new recruits, she’d call it ‘missions’. I don’t get why she calls it that, or why she even thinks she can relate to you guys, but apparently she does so… Sorry for that.”

Wow, he made you look like a completely insensitive shithead. Kudos to you brother for being such a fucking bitch. You were sure you were glaring at him with a frown, and if that hadn’t saved you from telling them, you would have lectured him.

“A commander?” You heard Junkrat asked, and you nodded. “Yea… Though, I was never really good with training the new recruits. I was too soft…”  
“So you’re… one of them military folks?” Wait, was he indicating that it was a bad thing? You needed to clear things up, before they started hating you.

“I was… ‘relieved of my duties’.” You said, massaging Hana’s scalp. Maybe it was time to actually tell them the truth about who you were? But you’d just gotten your brother to ‘save’ you.

“I uhm… I wasn’t only a commander.” No, turn back right now. You shouldn’t be telling people things like this if you wanted to move on. But it was so tempting, you could tell them the truth and just be done with it. 

Hana shifted and looked up at you, she seemed worried about what you were going to say next. It was like you had a conversation, with just looking each other in the eyes. She was telling you to be careful, and you were telling her you would be. There came no obvious objections from her, or seemingly your brother, which meant that it must’ve been ‘okay’ in their book. After all, you were all on the same page, right?

“What do you mean, love?” Tracer asked, confused at your previous statement. “I did some other things. Which… Overwatch, or most people, weren’t aware of really.” This only seemed to excite the two eccentrics sitting across from you. 

“Do tell!” Tracer almost screamed with excitement, which you visibly cringed at. “So uhm… I did actual missions for the military, not just ‘field day with the recruits’” you started, “I was out gathering information with my team.”

“The information itself was… not so… good. Many government secrets, not particularly from my country. Lots of science, intel on other groups, firms and organizations, such as… Overwatch.” Tracer raised a brow, and Junkrat took on a bit of a serious look. Which was fucking petrifying.

“Soldier 76 is well aware of what I’ve… done. Don’t worry about that, but uhm…” God, were you going to stammer your way through this? Seemed that way. “But yea… I was out on missions gathering information for my home country. I saw… some things, that you really cannot un-see.” Hana was hugging you a bit tighter, you could already feel the lump starting to form in your throat.

“I… uh… Didn’t have a ‘field’ day with that…” Ba-dum ts… no one laughed at your pun. “Not to say it was all bad, but… you know, it wasn’t good.” Tracer seemed to be holding back a bit, her excitement had died down. “It’s not like you could have saved them all.” Your brother casually mentioned and took a spoonful of porridge and shoved it into his mouth.

“I know,” You said quietly, “I just don’t want anyone to… experience that. It’s bad enough that I had to go through it, but you guys,” you pointed to the heroes sitting across from you, not really pointing at Hana, because she knew you were talking about her as well, “You do this shit almost every day. You have to keep it up, your public figures and all that. Idols.”

Junkrat almost snorted, “Yeah, hear that Roadie, I’m an ‘idol’.” Roadhog wacked the back of his head, and Junkrat looked ready to jump him. “Be quiet and listen to her.” He rumbled, and it seemed like your brother was taken aback. You’d had the same reaction to his deep voice.

“It’s not like I could do what I did and still keep up a public image. It’s very… inspiring really. To even choose something like this- “Junkrat cut you off, “’s not like we had much of a choice.” This made you blink, didn’t have a choice?

“It was either this or… Well, we I guess we chose this over the other option.” He shuddered a bit, and you decided not to push him any further. “Still, it’s quite admirable. When I was a kid, I really didn’t look up to Overwatch, but now, as an adult, I can’t stop thinking about how much you put yourselves through, to keep the public safe.”

“Aw shucks, you’re making me blush love!” Tracer said waving her hand a bit and covering her face. It was the truth though, they put themselves through hell to keep people safe. You’d done it because you’d been ordered to, and you only did it for stupid information. 

“But yea, I always got the job done, no matter how difficult, that was what was important. Or, at least what seemed important, at the time. It wasn’t though.” Taking a deep breath, you looked down at Hana, who seemed to make your t-shirt dampen. She’s only 19 years old, you reminded yourself of, yet she too was put in a role like you’d been.

“I realize now, that I’ve gotten some time to think, that really what was the most important, was to get everyone home safely. I’ve lost… so many people. Seemed like death wasn’t real at some point, but it oh so painfully is. I just didn’t want to think about everyone that I’ve lost.”

Hana hiccupped, and you gently kissed the top of her head. Just like this, you could hold her like this for hours. 

“On my next Sunday off, I think I might ask to travel to my… team’s graves. It was long overdue, so anyways.” You said, giving Hana another kiss. Your brother gave your head a couple pats, a gesture he knew would calm you a bit. “I could tell you guys about my missions if you’d like, but that’d have to be later. I’m not really feeling like talking about it more today. However, I can tell you what I was known as, if you’d like?”

Tracer voiced a ‘yeah’, and you heard Hana give you a gentle sigh. She wasn’t crying anymore, but you’d still need to keep her out of sight. “I was known as 5-308.”

At this Tracer looked a bit horrified, as if she’d seen a ghost.

“…5-308?” She asked, scooting back in her chair a bit. Shit, had she known who you were?

“That’s me, but Tracer, are you alright?” You asked letting Hana go gently.

“I uhm… Just forgot to… do… something?” She said stepping out of her chair, and started walking off with a quick wave.

“What was that?” your brother asked you, and you shrugged. She knew something, linked to your numbers, and you had to find out what. You looked down at Hana, who was still well nested into your grip.

“You want to finish your porridge, or do you want me to grab you something that you can eat later?” You asked her, and instead of giving you a straight answer, she just nodded. You chose to believe she picked the latter as you took a hold of her and lifted her.

“Thanks for breakfast guys, hope you enjoyed my cooking. And you- “You pointed to your brother, “Please clean up after us and meet me back at my room at 16.” He sighed and gave you an ‘ok’. 

Moving towards the kitchen, briskly walking past your bosses, you managed to fish out the key card and opened up the kitchen door. “Could I get some ‘breakfast to-go’?” you asked the omnics working the kitchen. “Of course!” yelled Xoxo, which started rummaging through the cabinets. They were so sweet!

“Energy bars, sandwich or a day old breakfast muffin?” They asked and you just gave them a thumbs up, hoping that they’d bring everything that you’d mentioned. After all, Hana needed her energy!

Xoxo had gotten what you’d tried to gesture, and even put some chocolates and a couple juice boxes in the bag. “Thank you so much!” you said, and bowed a bit, now holding a tired Hana and a brown bag filled with her breakfast.  
“You are very welcome dear!” They said and sent you a ‘flying kiss’ which you tried your best to pretend to catch. 

 

Tucking Hana into her bed, and placing her food on the nightstand, you couldn’t help but pity her. She’d worn a bit of mascara, which had smudged. You were lucky you were wearing a black shirt, or you’d have gotten stains. Brushing some hair out of her face, you wanted to coo at her. 

But considering she might feel ashamed and as if you treated her like a child, you decided against it. Holding her hand, you squeezed it gently. She needed some rest, and you were going to stay until she fell asleep. “Do you want me to sing a bit? I know I’m not the best singer, but hey, people haven’t complained about my voice up until now.” They had however complained about you singing when they wanted peace and quiet, but not the fact that you were a terrible singer.

“Please.” She said, and you weren’t certain whether it was a ‘Please, god, NO’ or a ‘please sing for me’. You chose to believe the latter, she could stop you if you were awful.

“Hvem kan seile foruten vind  
Hvem kan ro uten årer  
Hvem kan skilles fra vennen sin  
uten å felle tårer?

Jeg kan seile foruten vind  
Jeg kan ro uten årer  
men ei skilles fra vennen min  
uten å felle tårer!” 

 

Seemed like she was well rested enough, her breaths long and heavy. “Sleep well, I’ll be back after I’ve… done some things with my brother. For now, you should rest up, and please do eat the food as well. It’s important to get all the nourishment you can to get better. Love you lots.” You said, kissing her forehead gently. She mumbled something, and you’re sure it probably was a ‘love you too’.

Satisfied with her answer, you left the side of her bed, scanned your card and walked through the door. You’d have to send out a message that you’d stop picking up requests at 16. 

“Stopping the requests at 16:00, any request prior will be dealt with quickly.” 

What a great message. You hoped people would understand it, and it seemed like they did, because your device was going off on requests. If you were to finish it all by 16, you’d have to start running. Which you did.

 

Hours later and there were only two requests left, and 10 minutes before the time struck 16:00, which meant you’d only have time for one more. One from Mercy, which was to fetch her a package from the delivery room and one from… Genji. He never requested anything, which meant that it was important. Prioritizing Genji, you messaged Mercy that you wouldn’t be able to run and fetch it for her. 

She replied with an ‘okay’ and a sad emoji, which made you really want to run and do it after all. But hey, it wasn’t every day that you’d get to do something for Genji, which meant that you should be running to the location he’d set on the device.

Looking at the message, you didn’t really see what he wanted, only a location. ‘Strange’ you thought, and kept a light jog. Following the map displayed on your device, you were heading for Level C – the ‘recreational’ floor. There, were several rooms filled with training equipment, different studios, a huge court and three common living rooms, among the one you’d renovated a little while back.

Sure enough, that’s where he wanted you. You took a mental ‘stop’ and thought about it. If he, or anyone else had destroyed that room yet again, you’d strangle them. Instead of your light jog you were now sprinting towards the elevator. Pressing the button over and over again, hoping the elevator would come faster, you couldn’t help but feel angry and worried.

There was a mystery you still hadn’t solved, who the fuck had wrecked the living room. Should you really be digging up old bones? Yes. You would, only to get the satisfaction of lecturing them. Of course you weren’t as angry about it as you had been, but you still wanted to lecture the person, erh, people, who’d done it.

The door opened and you rushed into the elevator knocking smack into Mei. Shit, you needed to be more careful! You didn’t knock her over or anything, but she did look surprised. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to run right into you!” She gave off a little laugh and adjusted her glasses. 

“It’s fine, I wasn’t really watching where I was going either.” Thank god she was a kind person, you bowed your head a bit and walked slowly into the elevator. “So sorry ma’am, I’ll make it up to you, if you want to I’ll take a request after hours!” She just smiled and laughed, “Thank you, but it’s really alright, don’t worry.” But you did worry.

“Just send me a request whenever, I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the day or at midnight, as long as I’m on base I’ll do it, okay?” You said in a serious tone, and she gave you a look that you could only describe as scared. Had you said something that terrified her? In that case you should apologise to her! She seemed so sweet too.

The metal elevator door closed and you had to take a step back so you wouldn’t be squished like a bug. You were alone in the elevator, yet again. You pressed the button for the correct floor and sighed. A clumsy idiot, that’s who these people wanted, when in reality they could probably have anyone else. God, you could really use a… sip of something? 

No, you could manage just fine without any alcohol. Even though… It had been a while, and you wouldn’t drink much even, just a glass of wine? No, stop this strain of thought and focus on what’s going on in front of you. The door had been open for about 30 seconds until you snapped out of it and walked out. You quit alcohol, end of story.

 

The hallways lamps held a somewhat fluorescent light to them, just like in a hospital, just without the white walls to light it even more up. Grey metal walls, cement look-alike floor and plates over the different doors, listing off the numbers. This facility felt older than it was, maybe because you’d roamed these halls so often. The whole base was your “home”, which you couldn’t leave. How you craved the sunlight and breeze hitting your skin.

You’ll have to contact 76 and ask for permission to leave on your next Sunday off. You also need to book some tickets to get to the graves, and maybe pre-order some flowers? There were some of them that had favourite flowers, the people they left behind had told you so. Therefore, you tried to buy those flowers. It ranged from white roses, to gerberas, to the sweetest little auricles. It was all written down in your little black book.

Considering the graves were quite spread, mostly because people’s families couldn’t afford to get the bodies transported. You’d complained to your superiors about a million times about that, but they had only wanted to pay for a spot at the graveyard and paid a nice sum to the people who’d been left behind. There’d been a rampage, you had several fits about it and threatened to sell the information to the enemy. Which had earnt you a couple days behind bars to mull it over. 

Then there’d been psychological examination, which had yet again proven negative, as anyone who’d been in your situation would have a similar reaction. It was healthy to show emotions at times, but you still had to stay on base for three weeks before they could send you out yet again. To see if you could control yourself yet again, which you did.

Often, you’d have to pick your own team, which meant that you’d have to put them through danger they often wouldn’t survive. That kind of pressure was mentally exhausting, and you’d often sit out on the porch of your home thinking. You were the one who chose who would live and die. Like a grim reaper, you felt like a murderer. 

 

Stopping in front of the room where the red dot blinked, excessively mind you, you sighed. Then bit your cheeks, shook your hands a bit, pushed back some hair shaking it along the way and put on a little smile. Scanning your card, the door opened, and you expected the worst.

“There you are, took you long enough.” Your brother was seated on the couch, Zenyatta next to him, Genji leaning against a wall. You were… A bit confused at the whole situation, mostly since you felt so out of place. It was like you’d walked in on a scene, in an alternate reality, when you were just as present as you had been seconds ago.

Looking at your device, there was still 4 minutes until it was 16:00. Had your brother gone out on his own, looked for Zenyatta and convinced him to meditate with the two of you? That was… kind of cool, you wish you had the social skills to do that. You used to, but now it was… Things felt more complicated.

Taking a seat on the edge of the couch, next to your brother, you gave him a look over. He just smiled at you, but your earlier smile had evaporated into thin air, and it didn’t feel like coming back. Maybe you should say something?

“So… My brother convinced you to let us join a meditation session?” You asked and mentally groaned at yourself for sounding so dull. Zenyatta perked up a bit and looked to you. “Ah, yes. Your brother here told me that the two of you were looking to relax a bit, and asked if you could join us. To which we both accepted.” 

Genji gave a two fingered wave and you sent him a nod. Your brother gently pinched your thigh and smirked. That piece of fucking shit, he was not only doing it to relax, he was doing it to embarrass you! And here you thought that he was trying to set you up with Hanzo or something.

“You remember where we meditated last time?” Zenyatta asked, and you thought back. To the little park, the starry skies and the fact that you’d almost fallen asleep. It’d been a long day. “Yes.” You said, “Is that where we will be going?” 

“It is, I’m glad you remember. It was indeed a long time ago.” He said, looking in thought, “And do not worry about being on ‘lockdown’, as long as you each have an escort it will be fine.” But what about the fact that both you and your brother would be recognizable to the security cameras that were definitely around outside?

“But- “You started, but your brother cut you off, obviously thinking the same thing as you. “I’ll be turning them all off, and play another record over them. It’ll look just the same as it did a couple weeks back. Very simple really, plus I got this fun little device.” Your brother put his hands down his pocket and when he pulled it out another device showed up.

“Built this alongside Winston, just a fun little project we worked on while you were working.” Of course he’d invent something while you were cleaning the base, fucking geniuses. “Turns off electrical devices, can even, when installed, turn off human electrical charges.” Wait what the fuck, a weapon?

“I’m not even going to ask how you can kill someone with that thing, but might I suggest you don’t use me as a lab rat? I’d prefer staying alive, no! Don’t point that shit at me!” You shouted as your brother pointed the device at you, and you smacked him, almost knocking the device out of his hand. “Don’t make me lose it sis, might kill us all.” Your brother cackled like an evil villain straight out of a comic.

“Laugh all you want, but if you accidentally kill me, I’ll come back to haunt your ass. I’ll go full poltergeist on you. You chilling, just eating cereal? No you’re not, everything will be poured over your head. You washing some clothes? All your left socks will go missing and I’ll pour extra bleach into everything. Don’t think I won’t make your life a… living hell.” Both you and your brother snickered. 

That’s who you were, the real you anyways, a childish pun-making moron. “Thanks for lifting my… spirits, sis.” That earned yet another snicker, and you couldn’t help but feel a tad bit embarrassed. The two of you weren’t alone, and here you were, laughing like nobody was watching. Your laugh died down, and you started coughing, suggesting to your brother that you two should quit.

He took the bait and stopped his laughing. There seemed to be a somewhat awkward silence between the four of you, and even if you knew Genji to be really quiet, at least around you, you could still feel that he was somewhat tense. “So… Uh… We moving out?” You asked and rose from your seat. 

“Ah, yes. Genji, will you take her, I need to… discuss certain things with her brother.” Zenyatta said and you looked a bit, confused, worried? What would Zenyatta need to talk about with your brother? Had he upset him? ‘Turns off electrical devices’, was that what had triggered him? Reluctantly, you gave your brother a sympathetic look. “Yes, master.” Genji voiced, in his metallic voice, his mask covering his mouth.

 

You really wished you’d known this was what Genji had meant when he had sent you a request. Mostly because you looked like such a mess. You decided to try and put your hair up into a ponytail, the best you could. He walked a meter or two in front of you, and seemed to be moving rather quickly. Having to move a bit faster made you unable to get your hair properly pulled back. It probably looked worse than your loose hair had.

Stepping as fast as you could, your arms behind your head, still trying to tie your hair, proved to be almost impossible. Especially at the speed Genji was… well not walking at least, more like lightly jogging. It was frustrating to having to keep up with his speed, and it didn’t seem like he was even considering that you were slacking behind. 

“Could you slow down a bit? it’s hard to keep up with you while I’m trying to fix my hair.” You said, walking slower and trying to tie your hair a bit tighter. He slowed significantly, now walking side by side with you. Tying your hair, a last round, you pulled a bit at the tail, tightening it a bit. “Thanks.” You voiced and felt a bit better. At least your sweaty and greasy self wouldn’t look as bad now.

The walk through the hallways was quiet, and even if you enjoyed silence at times, this silence was killing you. It was like you both wanted to say something to each other, but couldn’t seem to find the words. The whole ordeal was somewhat… irritating. You wanted to tell him something, but it wasn’t like you had anything important to say, or anything at all.

But maybe you should ask him something, maybe you should… ask him how his day has been? That was a safe theme, a safe conversational piece, was it not?

“So…” You started, “Your day.” It felt like you’d shoved your own foot in your mouth, could you not fucking talk? He looked at you, and you felt embarrassed. “What about it?” He asked and you felt yourself wanting to creep into a hole and never come out.

“Uh… How’s it been?” Good, finally you had said something somewhat intelligible. “Okay.”  
“Oh, that’s… good?” You said, and still felt like creeping into that hole. He was so dismissive of your attempts to hold a decent conversation. But feeling frustrated about how he literally couldn’t hold a conversation, would get you nowhere. However, you weren’t ready to let it die so easily, you’d already embarrassed yourself today, there was nothing that could hurt you now!

“My day’s been somewhat hectic. Though it usually always is, considering I get lots of requests. When I sent out that message, that I’d quit taking on requests after 16:00, it was like people suddenly had all these extra… issues with things like… I don’t know, the requests just doubled.” Wow, you were really rambling on weren’t you? But, it felt good to fill the silence.

“So my day’s been a bit stressful, which is why I look like a terrible mess,” At that he seemed to tense up. Noting that you’d keep self-deprecating humour out of your conversations you continued, “I have a question for you though.” You said, as you arrived at the elevator. He hummed as you pressed the button.

“Were you on the mission yesterday? The one Hana and McCree was on?” You really wanted to figure out what had happened, because you wanted a second point of view on it, and not say anything insensitive to Hana when you were going to talk to her about it. “Yes, I was.”  
At least you got three words out of him, but you still needed to hear his story.

The elevator door opened and you stepped inside. The two of you were yet again alone together. “Care to elaborate on what happened? I know it upset the two of them deeply, but I’m not going to pry unless you willingly want to share that kind of information. I know how difficult- “

“We lost some civilians. Most of them were children.” Oh, shit. It was like your mind was buzzing, and you felt nauseous. Losing kids, that usually left you a mess, unable to speak, eat, drink, even think. The pain of losing someone felt horrible, especially if it was children. The helplessness of it all, the waking horrors, the screams.

Tears were forming in your eyes, and you couldn’t help but feel awful for trying to force this information out of both Hana and Genji, what kind of shit human being would do something like that? You felt embarrassed at your behaviour, even the audacity that you’d dared to ask them. You felt ashamed of yourself.

“I’m so sorry.” You said and hung your head, the shame washing over you. You’d lost children, you knew the pain, and here you were demanding shit from him. It stung, your chest was painfully aching. And here you were, yet again focusing on yourself! Absolutely disgusting.

Taking a hold of his hand, you could feel him jump a bit, the gesture obviously surprising. Though, not completely unwelcomed. He gently squeezed back, and you could feel him holding himself back a little. You might’ve just figured him out. 

Seemed like he held a fake composure, especially around you, to not get so damn emotional. It was definitely not a healthy coping mechanism, and even if you knew he must’ve improved a lot with Zenyatta’s help, he still seemed so tense around you. Maybe because he didn’t trust you, and the fact that he didn’t really know you very well.

“It’s…” you started, but didn’t feel like finishing. What could you say that’d make him feel better? Nothing, words could only do so much. You kept quiet as you waited for the elevator to arrive at level 1, the “above” part of the base. 

The elevator seemed to move painfully slow. Your breathing was somewhat unsteady, and you had to focus on that instead of the pricking feel from your eyes. Just, don’t think about it.

“How do you feel about it?” You asked, oh no, you were going to ramble, “I… used to feel so horrible I couldn’t do anything.” The elevator stopped, and you still held his hand as you moved out, into a more open area, filled with sunlight from the windows. You had only been allowed to work underground, and now out in the open your eyes had to severely adjust in order to even see.

You almost hissed and squeezed your eyes shut. Your brother, who was probably still in the living room with Zenyatta, would probably have laughed at you. As you moved forward, gently tugging at Genji’s hand, you felt awful at what you’d asked him. “Not good.” He replied, and you pitied him. 

“You know, I’m always here if you want to talk. Even if I suck at it, I’ve been told it’s a big relief to tell me peoples troubles. At least… I feel better after a good venting session.” You gave him a gentle smile, but it came off as somewhat worried. Which in reality described your true emotions. “Wouldn’t bother me at all, you know? But… I’m sorry for asking you, I know it’s kind of… Taboo to talk about missions. Especially if they haven’t gone well.”

He squeezed your hand a bit tighter, damn it, you’d upset him. Even more.  
“I’m sorry, I just, don’t want you to go around and feel horrible. Especially if you feel alone. I just want you to know that I only want…” What did you want? What did you want from him?

“Thank you for worrying about me.”

You looked at him. He scanned his key card, pressed down on some buttons, his password, and did a voice recognition. The door opened, and a gust of wind caused your hair to fly a bit. The breeze felt so good, you’d been so deprived of its touch. Even in a situation like this, you couldn’t help but feel a bit happy.

The sun was still up, still shining brightly, as it had been last time you’d been outside. It seemed so long ago, and it was. Sighing a bit, you gave Genji a genuine smile. 

“Don’t have to thank me.” You said, “Especially when you do things like this for me.” His head tilted a bit to the side, staring at you in wonder. “Somehow you always… I don’t know, you do really good things for me.”  
‘Good things for me’, yes, you were the most literate person in the world.

“I mean… You’re so…” You sighed and squeezed his hand a little.

 

“You make me happy.”

 

It was as though your hand had been slathered in poison, because Genji quite literally ripped his hand out of your grip. Fuck, you’d really done it now. Could you do nothing right? Here he was doing you a huge favour, and you had been quite the opposite of grateful.

 

The rest of the walk towards the park had been done in complete silence. Genji had yet again assumed his position a couple meters ahead of you. A thousand thoughts roamed your head, but right now, you couldn’t focus on that. Now, you had to focus on the sunlight and wind. You might not be outside again for a while.

The grass seemed greener and the bird’s chirps louder than what you remembered. It felt so good to be outside, you felt so incredibly free. Genji sat down on the grass, waiting. You didn’t feel like sitting down just yet, you really wanted to run around and enjoy the environment around you. But, as you didn’t feel like upsetting him any further, you too sat down.

“We won’t be waiting for them.” You could hear Genji mumble, and you wanted to say a ‘pardon’, just so you could hear his voice yet again. If he talked to you, he couldn’t be so angry, right? 

It was amazing how his personality fluctuated, just days ago he’d told you he’d find a way for you to be together, if that’s what the two of you wanted, but now it was like before. Was it because of the fact that you’d asked him what had happened? Or was it something else?

Could he have heard what you’d done with either Hanzo or McCree? Plausible, you guess you’d be distant too if you were in his position. But you couldn’t outright ask him either, because what if he hadn’t heard and you just gave off such information, making him hate you?

You could deal with people loving you, because even if it was annoying, at least they didn’t feel like stabbing your brains out. 

“If you want meditation to work, you need to relax. Keep your breathing steady, let your thoughts roam free.” Was he… teaching you how to meditate? That’d actually help quite a lot, you often benefitted more from guided meditation. Even though you didn’t do it often, that’s when you’d found yourself mostly relaxed.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath. Did he hate you? He probably did, how could he not, you were a disgusting prying monster.

“You’re not sitting right.” Of course you weren’t, you couldn’t do anything right.

Hearing him shift, you furrowed your brows a bit. Don’t focus on how much he must hate you, try to think of something else. But how could he not hate you? You were awful! Downright awful!

“Remember last time, you lied down. That seemed to help you out a lot. You don’t need to sit upright in order to meditate.” Why was he even trying to act so nice towards you? You certainly didn’t deserve it.

“Lean back.” He said. You followed his orders and was met with something behind you. Jerking, you almost scrambled to your feet and shot your eyes open. Your little scare seemed to amuse the ninja, as he chuckled a bit.

“Did you not hear me move?” Of course you hadn’t heard him move, he was a literal ninja, aka. He made as little sound as humanly… Cyborg-ly? Possible.

“No, I did not.” You said, huffing in annoyance. Seemed like a bit of payback, you deserved it.  
Leaning into his chest, you looked up at the sky. Even with the sun out, there were several clouds. You could feel Genji’s chest slowly rise, up and down as he breathed.

It was calming. Closing your eyes yet again, you let yourself relax a bit. Even with his armour on, you felt comfortable. 

“Are you lying comfortable?”

Yes, you were very comfortable. “Mhm” You hummed, and took a couple deep breaths. Should you be uncomfortable? Probably, but you weren’t. Should you feel a bit embarrassed? Definitely, but did you? Not at all.

“You know I did not take offense when you asked me what had happened, right?” 

That was something you didn’t want to talk about, but you didn’t want to not respond. You weren’t a piece of shit that ignored people, even if you wanted.

“I sure hope not; I can’t seem to stop myself at times. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not something I like to think about, but… It’s necessary, in order to move on. Admitting that it’s painful and that you’re allowed to feel emotional over it, really helps to… get through it.” He said, and you couldn’t agree more. Sometimes you just needed to cry about things in order to feel better.

“Anyways, as I said, we lost a couple… There were more agents than we could handle, even with our skills, sometimes we can’t win all the battles.” Right, sometimes you could lose a lot, in order to win. Wait, that didn’t really make sense now did it? Genji seemed better at being wise than you.

“What do you usually do to feel better? Besides meditation?” You asked. “Sex?”

He gave off a gentle angelic laugh, as he snaked his arms around you. It felt good, being held like this, hearing him laugh. It did something to you.

“Why? Are you offering?” 

You wanted to smack his arm, but decided to just give him a very dry laugh.  
“I’m not that easily convinced.” You said teasingly, “You’re going to have to try a bit harder.”

“Quite the flirt, aren’t you? Didn’t really expect that from you, I’m glad I’m getting to know you better.” He seemed amused, you were just glad he didn’t hate you, or felt too bad to tease you for that matter.

“I like to think that I am,” you started as you grabbed a hold of his right hand. Grazing over his arm lightly with your fingers, feeling every bump, you gave off a gentle smile. “But I know for a fact that I’m not.” You weren’t the best flirter around the block, that’d been proved to you several times.

“Could have fooled me.” You heard Genji whisper, and you could feel some colour rise to your cheeks. “Really now? I’m a mess, and I look the part as well.” You smiled and opened your eyes. 

“Even if you are a mess, it still doesn’t make you any less attractive.” You could only see his green visors in your peripheral vision. You wanted to turn to look at him, take off his mask and look directly into his beautiful eyes. But alas, you were a wee bit too shy to do so, resulting in you hiding your face in your hands.

“I also didn’t know you had such terrible humour. I mean, puns? Really?” He seemed to hold a joking tone in his voice, and you wanted to seek further refugee in your hands. “It’s just funny okay?”

“You’re so sweet.”

Untrue, but he could believe whatever he wanted. 

“You seem so innocent.”

Far from it, you had done things that would be considered cruel, inhumane. 

“And I keep figuring out new things about you. You’re the biggest puzzle I’ve come across, an unsolvable mystery. I’m intrigued, you are the most interesting person I’ve met.”

His words, were beautiful, yet you could still feel pain from them. Your reality had been deprived of such kindness for a long time. His compliments seemed genuine, and they weren’t meant to appease you, make you want to sleep with him. Seemed like he just generally thought you were good.

How long has it been since anyone’s said things like that, which weren’t just a cheap trick to get you to sleep with them? Your brother has certainly given you compliments, and Hana as well, but not like these.

“There’s just so much about you I don’t know, and every time I seem to think I know something about you, there just seems to be even more. Every time you are close to me, I feel like I can’t breathe, and every time you talk to me, I’m at loss for words.” How dare he?

“I should not even be worthy to be in your presence, yet here we are.” You laughed a shaky, breathy laugh. Putting your hands down, you yet again touched his hands. The cool metallic parts, the synthetic skin, the green lights which emitted from his body. His design was… interesting. You wanted to learn more about his body, feel every part of him,

“You know… I’m very sorry for reporting you earlier.” Hm? Oh, that… Well.  
“You thought you were doing the right thing, I’m not allowed by contract to sleep with third parties unless I wish to be terminated. You were only doing your job as my boss, how could you have known it was my brother?” Wait, are you defending him?

“I… Didn’t only report you because of that, I was kind of… angry?” 

“What, were you jealous or whatever?” You asked and turned your head, along with your body, to see him a bit better. “I was angry because I know how much my brother likes you, and here you slept with someone else in our home.” Home? Was that their home? And it sure as hell didn’t make sense that he was attempting to court you now, considering he knew how much Hanzo likes you. He knows it, and yet he’s still trying.

“Aren’t you being… a bitch to your brother though?” You asked, and you could physically feel him tense up, as he gripped you a bit tighter. “Considering you know that he apparently ‘loves’ me, yet you’re still attempting to… you know, date me?”

Giving you a slight awkward cough, he turned his head away. “He… looks at you as if you’re a toy. He doesn’t treat you as an equal, he believes he has a certain ‘right’ to get with you. That’s his burden to bear though, the fact that… his relations to other human beings are like that. He was the clan leader, he did some… Horrible things, because he believed it was the right thing to do.”

“How does that excuse the fact that he does not see me as an equal?” So he had been lying to you back in his room, lying through his teeth in an attempt to win you over. To him, it must be a game, a nasty fucking game that he was bound to ‘win’. He almost had.

“Hanzo was under constant pressure, he never had the time to bond with others. He had me, and he was… ashamed of me. I was a troubled child, an embarrassment to the clan, an abomination. Even if my father let me be, the rest of the clan did not. If you’re raised a certain way, under constant pressure, fed lies upon lies, you turn out… Well, you turn out a certain way.”

His right hand moved up to touch the top of your head, and lightly ran his fingers through your ponytail. “I don’t blame Hanzo for turning out the way he did, as he didn’t know any better. He has however, significantly improved. Yet, if I were you, I’d still stay away until he realizes that he cannot treat you as less superior. He still has to… allow himself to heal, to forgive himself, before he can let another person in. You wouldn’t be able to handle him the way he is now.”

True, you weren’t really in a position to make others improve, considering you actually needed to focus on healing yourself. And maybe because he had inflicted pain upon you, because he didn’t know how to interact with you. Not a healthy relationship, mind you.

“But you’re still going to try?” You asked, and he let go of your hair, putting his hand behind his neck. 

Cute. 

“Well, as I said, Hanzo doesn’t own you, you’re allowed to make your own decisions. Plus, it’s not like we’re actually dating, we’re just… getting to know each other better. It’s too early to know if we want to date each other or not, it’s not like you even know my favourite colour, and it’s not like I know yours.” He… Actually wanted to get to know you before he did anything? No guy, or even girl had ever told you that. You’d just gone straight to the dating part, moving too quickly. Genji however, wanted to take it slow, let you both take your time.

“But, from what I can tell, you have a terrible sense of humour.” You smacked his arm and gave him a little grin. He laughed a bit, making your chest swell. “You are close with your brother, but because of work, it seems you’ve grown somewhat distant. Your soul feels, troubled. Hanzo told me who you were, but you don’t want it to define you. Because what you had to do then, is not who you are now.”

Wait, didn’t he know? Shit you hadn’t told him you were 5-308, but here you’d thought you’d told him. At least Hanzo told him, but how much did he actually tell?

“Do you even know what I did?” You asked, clenching your fists. Even if what he’d said could be considered nice, kind, romantic even, it felt like a slap to the face. The little information Hanzo had, does Genji really think he knows you? If he thinks so, he’s about to change his fucking opinion.

“No, I do not. I’m not going to pretend that I know either. It just feels like you’re different, but who am I to tell you who you are and aren’t? How many times have we even talked to each other? Rarely. I don’t think you even know me either, do you?”

You didn’t know him. The information you had about him was scarce. Genji Shimada, Hanzo’s brother, from Hanamura, he was a green cyborg ninja, he often meditated with Zenyatta who he considers his ‘master’. That’s the information you had on him, which weren’t rumours.

Shaking your head, you could feel his hand return to your hair. “See? Wouldn’t it be strange if we just suddenly decided to date?” How dare he? How dare he point out the fact that the modern dating system was so flawed that people didn’t even get know each other before they decided to jump on the ‘romance wagon’ only to be thrown off later.

“I agree, I think it’d feel too rushed, and would make things awkward between us if it doesn’t work out. Therefore, I really encourage us to be friends first and then see where it takes us.” Wow, you could actually be literate when you felt calm and safe. Safe? Is that the feeling Genji made you feel as your head lay on his chest, his hands wrapped around you, while playing with your hair and talking?

“You know, you can sleep for a bit, you look very tired. I don’t think my master and your brother will be leaving base, they seem to have been gone for a long time.”  
Humming a bit, you thought about what your brother might be talking about with Zenyatta. Omnics and programming perhaps? 

“Don’t worry, it’ll be alright, master is a very kind-hearted being, your brother is in good hands. Now, enjoy being outside, I’ll try my best to relax as well.” Well, if he was so damn sure, maybe you could rest, just for a bit though.

“Fine, but wake me up when we’re leaving, don’t feel like being carried anymore. At least not without consent.” He put his chin on top of your head. “You’ve been picked up a lot?” He asked, and you sighed. People had done so many things to you, without consent lately. Touched you places where you didn’t feel like getting touched, carried off to god knows where, grabbed and forced against beds. It didn’t feel good how you didn’t have as much control as you used to.

“Among other things… I’m just so tired of people and their damned feelings towards me, when in reality all they need is just to ‘get some’. They aren’t even considering what I want, just focusing on themselves. Don’t need that selfish shit, I’m too old for that.” He gave a gentle laugh at your last comment, “You’re only, what, 25? If anyone’s too old, its them.” 

“Agreed. They really need to act their age, I know that can be difficult, but I don’t care as long as they don’t bother anyone. And they are bothering me. Which means I have to care. I don’t know, how can I kindly tell them I’m not interested in dating anyone at the moment?”

Shrugging a bit, you subconsciously started cracking your knuckles. 

“I don’t think there’s a lot you can do? They don’t really take ‘no’ for an answer, especially if there isn’t a ‘good reason’ for it. Doesn’t matter if you don’t like them, they’ll make you like them. I think it’d be best if you told them you had a fake significant other, I think they’d get off your back then.” He said and you gave off a slight huff.

Having to lie to someone, about you already dating someone, just because they wouldn’t fucking back off, was something you hated to do. You liked to tell the truth whenever it was considered possible, but if you, yet again, had to make up a fake significant other, then you would. As long as they back off.

Infuriation cast aside, it was a nice day outside. You were in good company, maybe it was time to relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hvem kan seile foruten vind  
> Hvem kan ro uten årer  
> Hvem kan skilles fra vennen sin  
> uten å felle tårer?
> 
> Jeg kan seile foruten vind  
> Jeg kan ro uten årer  
> men ei skilles fra vennen min  
> uten å felle tårer!" 
> 
> Who can sail without wind  
> Who can row without oars  
> Who can leave their friend  
> without felling tears
> 
> I can sail without wind  
> I can row without oars  
> But I cannot leave a friend  
> without felling tears
> 
> (this is my fave lullaby, honestly)
> 
> BUT YEA - what the fUCK is going on, wHY DID READER SUDDENLY JUST TELL 3 PEOPLE THEIR SECRET, AND HOW DOES TRACER KNOW READER!?!?!?
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed the new chapter, as always, I'm available on both Tumblr and Twitter, so just, y'kno, hmu
> 
> Im sorry for updating so slowly, I've been busy with finals and work, but I'll try to get as much work done today as possible, thanks for being so patient!
> 
> (I also love you guys, so much, and your lovely comments!!)


	24. Past relations

A sensational feeling,   
a breath so deep,   
something wet running down, trickling slowly.   
Familiar, but from where?

So warm,   
so strange.

A burning and a sweet, sweet release.  
Mind fuzzy,   
Then a sharp pain.  
Kicking back, forcing its way all over one’s body.

“She’s been shot! Medic!”

That was the feeling, that was the sensation, that was the pain.

“Oh please, oh god, don’t die on me! You hear me!”

It’s not like you had a choice, you weren’t the one trying to rescue yourself. All you could do was wait and see whether or not your medic knew how to do their job. Simple enough, all you had to do was stay awake.

But the ever-growing tiredness wanted you to force your eyes shut and let it happen. 

“We can’t lose her! She’s the most important person to this operation, where the fuck is our medic?!”

Was it okay? Was it really okay for you to die now? it felt fine, actually welcomed. Maybe you’d be able to meet some of your teammates? You’d be free. How many times haven’t you begged for death? How many times haven’t you begged for the sweet release?

Feeling a hard slap against your face, you jolted. Something, or someone, was keeping you down here, in this body. Another slap, and you wanted to bite the person’s hand.

“I’m still alive, so stop fucking slapping me!” 

Laughter, a couple droplets on your face. Was it raining? Or was someone crying?

“You’re a fucking nut 5-308, I swear,” Your vision was so fuzzy, but you were glad someone was taking the time to joke about your situation. Really helpful. “Please don’t leave me 5-489, I don’t know what to do!” Shit, where you left with one of the less experienced soldiers? You could hear a nervous, shaky sigh, “I need you to continue talking to me, the medic is going to be here soon, very soon, just hold on, okay?”

“Stop bitching around, what kind of gun was I shot with? What bullet?”

“Glock 17, I think, don’t remember what kind of bullet. Just one shot, I hope, but I can’t really see where it hit.”

Glock 17, an old handheld gun from around 1980’s, 9 mm bullets. This meant that the people who’d shot you, were definitely grasping at their resources. Must’ve found an old military base or an old police station, they’d been the only ones who’d used it, aside from people that collected guns.

“Fuck,” you coughed, but no blood came out, at least not from your mouth which meant that you’d not gotten shot anywhere too vital. “Well, what’re you waiting for soldier, undress me!” You barked at her. She really didn’t deserve your yapping, but she needed to focus and help you.

“Oh right,” you heard her mumble, as she started gently opening up buttons to your uniform. “What the fuck are you doing, use a knife, these clothes are worth less than a fucking life, c’mon you know this.” You yelled, as you saw her panic and starting to fumble.   
“Stop yelling at me 5-308! Please I-I- “You cut her off with groan of pain, and started feeling your own leg up and down. Fastened around your right thigh was a belt with a little knife. 

Unhooking it from the belt, you handed it to her. “Start cutting.” You said, and she quickly regained control of her own panicked feelings, and started cutting open your clothes. She kept a steady pressure on your stomach, but not completely where you’d gotten hit.

Your bare stomach exposed to the world, you tried sitting up a bit. 

Blood

Just a whole lot of blood.

Hearing the soldier cuss, even with your fuzzy mind, you needed to take control of the situation. Another groan and you could visibly see blood spouting a bit from the bullet hole.

Just one hole, on your side. Pretty large hole, but if treated you wouldn’t die.   
“Good, I have a tampon in my pocket, take it out.” She looked a bit confused, but held her hand over your wound and started searching all your pockets for the culprit. 

Finding it in the third pocket she’d searched through, she gave you a look of confusion, because honestly why’d you need a tampon now? 

“Jam it in there, it’ll help with the bleeding, trust me, that’s why they made them.” As she weirded out from your little ‘fun fact’, you tried not to scream out in pain as she unwrapped the tampon and pushed it into your wound. “Fucking hell, I’m going to fucking murder the fucking A-!!” 

The soldier put a hand over your mouth and looked around, obviously spooked by something. Damn, you didn’t have time to help both her and yourself. Looking to your sides, you looked for whatever you could use as a weapon. Your own blaster rifle had been discarded to the side. 

 

A loud explosion caused your fellow soldier to dive down, right on top of you. Groaning loudly, you held her tight, trying your best to turn her over, in order for you to be hit by the definitely falling rocks, instead of her. But only specks of dust and some rubble hit you. 

This was not the time for hyperventilating but, you couldn’t help it. Panic and fear had smacked right into you, and your instincts told you that you were going to die. Breathing fast unsteady hardened. You grasped at whatever oxygen came your way.

The woman under you started crying, she must’ve been in a state of shock, as she started screaming, loudly. Slapping your face, over and over, you had to get some adrenaline pumping, in order to focus.

 

Your rifle was so close, you needed to grab it. Looking down at the soldier who was screaming her hearts out, you knew that it’d draw attention from your enemies. 

 

Crawling across the gravel, the sharp rocks scraping against your stomach, your wound filling with bacteria’s and mud. You needed it, and damn if you weren’t going to get it. 

 

Ignoring the pain, you scrambled and dragged yourself forward, you were so close. 

 

Your whole and complete focus was on grabbing the gun.

 

Centimetres, millimetres.

 

The rifle was within your reach; you could graze against it with your fingertips.

 

‘Victory!’ you thought as you felt it in your hand.

Then down came a boot stopping you from moving it any further.

 

“You dirty little slut, you. Thinking you can just grab your weapon. Tsk, Tsk, I’m going to have to kill you for that.”

 

You’d been so close, the gun was kicked, away from you. Looking up, you could see something much more modern than a Glock pointed at your face. Licking your lips, you tried to turn around, to lie on your stomach, in order to see the man better.

Your dying wish, was to see this person’s face at least. But, you didn’t get to, as they grabbed you by your bun and lifted your head, gun still pointed at your face.

“My, my, what have we here though? A beautiful little girl, battling with the big bad wolves, huh?” You heard a sickening laugh, and you could feel yourself tearing up. Fuck, he wasn’t going to kill you, not yet, not before he’d completely broken you. At least your little flesh wound would help further the process of death, you could only wish.

“Stop moving, Pet.” Pet? What kind of sick person was this man? No thank you, no sire, you’d take your chances with death. Thrashing underneath his grip, you hoped to be able to move just enough to get him to release the grip on your hair.   
“Are you scared Pet? I’m not going to hurt you, unless you’re disobedient. And I told you to stop moving, this is your second warning. The only second warning you’ll ever get.” Fuck that, you wanted to die rather than being this man’s ‘pet’ or whatever sick shit he wanted to do.

Grabbing the gun, that was pointed at your face, you turned it away from you, and ripped his arm, making him stumble a bit forward. Dragging your knees close to your stomach, you abruptly rose from the ground. The man tried to turn, but you kicked him behind his knee, making it bend, thus making him fall to his knees. 

Jumping on top of his back, you pinned him to the ground, your own knee on his spine. The man cussed your existence, but you continued to push your knee, harder and harder into his spine. 

 

Seemed like your body was moving on its own, as your knee released him a bit.   
The man thrashed beneath you, but you still had him pinned.  
“When you tire I’ll kill you!” You heard, which was a direct threat for your safety. 

Scoffing, you let your whole body weight fall on top of your right knee. Around 60-70 kg pressed against your spine, is not a good thing, to say the very least.

Especially if the so called 60-70 – something person starts pressing up and down, over and over, harder and harder.

The screams which erupted from the man as you could hear his spine crack, is something you knew you’d never un-hear.

 

The deed had been done, and you rose to your feet. 

Adrenaline pumped hard through your veins, you’d just killed a man with the pressure from your knee.

Looking at your stomach you could see the tampon had done its job well, as there’d been no more blood coming out the wound. 

To your left was the mans weapon, which you grabbed and strapped around you.

To your right, the body of the man that had wanted to keep you as a ‘Pet’.

Right in front of you, the body of a brave soldier that had tried their best to rescue you.

 

Kneeling down, you held her cold, dirtied and bloodied face in your hands.   
Her eyes held no life, the top of her head blown away, brain and blood spilling a bit. Closing her eyelids, you put your own forehead on top of the remains of hers. Pieces of her skull were scattered on the ground. She would scream no more, breathe no more, talk no more, smile… no more.

“You were as beautiful as day, as warm and gentle as the morning sun. You gave your life for me like many others, you’re one of the bravest soldiers I’ve met,” You muttered and hiccupped. Tears were threatening to spill, as you held her. Her blood was still so warm; how could she be dead?

“You were intelligent, and rescued me,” Tears were pouring down, spilling on your rescuers face, “Everyone around me dies, including you, I-I… You didn’t deserve this, I’ll take you home sweetheart, I’ll take you home, I’ll make sure of that.” 

“5-308, the medics her-” You heard someone say as you cried out in pain, both physical and emotional. Your heart-breaking scream, you still held your forehead next to yours as you started yelling. “I’ll take you home! I won’t let you lie here and rot! You… beautiful soul, you brave soldier, I won’t let you stay in this shithole! I’ll take you with me home!” 

“5-308 please, you can’t, you know that’s not possible… I know you want to, but we have to move, support is here, we got the info, we can go home!” 5-489 didn’t understand, but how could he, he’d had no people sacrifice themselves for him, he’d only been on 5 missions, whereas you’d been on over 78 missions, and you were only 24 years, he needed to leave you be.

“Fuck off and help me carry her, she’s coming home with me, or you’re going to have to leave me here with her to rot!” You shouted at him angrily, as you let go of her forehead, only to drop her softly back on the ground. 

“Fuck, fine, if it’ll help you move, I’ll take her legs.” You gave him a short nod and grabbed her torso, letting her head lean against your bare chest. 

 

You must’ve blacked out for the rest of walk to the helicopter, but you were sure as hell not letting go of this soldier’s body any time soon. Even if the remainder of your team yelled at you, for you to toss her out, 5-489 practically growled at people that tried to grab her away from you.

Cradling her body, you gently cupped her cheeks, and gave her gentle kisses. She was in her early 20s, that much you could tell, and she did not deserve this. But damn if you weren’t to keep her body warm, until you got back to base.

“Please toss her out 5-308, I don’t want her in this helicopter for the next 5 hours. She’s dead, let her go, please.”

Someone said, and you started weeping, holding her body tighter, the contents of her head spilling. “The medic can’t even help you if you’re going to hold onto her, please let her go.”

No, you were not going to do that. The least you could do was bring her body back, back to base, back to her family and friends. They’d just let her rot wherever and fill an empty grave, that was unheard off, you were taking her back no matter what. 

One of the gutsier soldiers grabbed her and tried to drag her away from you. You let out a loud yell. “Don’t you dare touch her, or I’ll be tossing you the fuck outside, I’ll push you out, I’m fucking serious, I’ll strap you to a parachute and kick you out. Hands off!” They let go, raised their hands and re-seated themselves.

No one was going to take her from you, not until you were back safe, no one was going to toss her out.

 

“5-308, I’m not going to take her, I’ll watch over her, you need the medic to help you sow you back together. You’re kind of spilling blood from your bullet wound again. Come on, you know I won’t let her go. You can trust me.”

 

You trusted 5-489 with your life, surely you could trust him with her death?

 

“Good, now please move babe, c’mon, you can do it.”

He seated himself next to you, and you scanned his beautiful brown eyes for anything, anything that could make you doubt his intentions. You knew he loved you, and you loved him too. 

“I’ll take care of her, while you get taken care of. I love you so much, you did such a great job. When we get back to base, I’ll take you out for dinner, or we can rest up. Don’t worry babe, get your sweet ass healed, okay?”

You turned her around, and your boyfriend put her in his lap and held her close. He touched your hand with his free hand. 

“It’ll be alright babe. She’s coming home with you, now I don’t want you to die either, so get yourself healed.”

A single tear ran down your cheek, god, you loved this man so much. Even if he was daft, even if he could be somewhat insensitive at times, he still treated you so well and loved you. Loved you so much he’d let you bring a dead body back with you.

 

When you landed, people practically scrambled to his feet to run out of the helicopter. Your fallen soldier’s body had started to reek a bit, the iron smell from blood mixed with dirt, and the disgusting sweat from your fellow soldiers had really made the air inside the copter funky.

“Need some help carrying her? Wait, where were you planning on putting her?” Your boyfriend asked, and you really thought long, well and hard. The other soldiers on base weren’t supposed to know of any of your missions, and here you were drenched in blood, with a superior, carrying around a dead body. 

You were going to send a message is what you were going to do. They liked sending you into battle without informing you that there were fucking guerrilla groups waiting? Then they were going to be forced to look upon the mother fucking result of it.

“I have an idea, but I need you to hear me out, without interrupting, okay?” 5-489 gave you a suspicious look and a slight nod, and you told him your idea. “We put her on their fucking desk.” 

“No.” 

“I know its fucking drastic, dramatic and over the top, but they need to see what the fuck we’re going through, what they are going through, what happens when they decide to send us in without informing us of the fucking dangers. The fact that they haven’t even managed to scope out that group, that’s fucking fucked up! They could have been easily spotted from miles away, yet they weren’t. It’s not the first time its happened either, and its time they got it through their thick skulls.”

If he wasn’t going to help you, you were going to do it on your own. Or… think logically, what would happen if that happened. 5-489 looked in thought, but it wasn’t like he was completely renouncing your idea.

“Not their office, we’re going to call in a meeting. I’ll get you a table and some cloth, but first maybe we should get her moved somewhere? The freezer in the back?” That was so fucking unsanitary, you wanted to puke, but at least her body would be kept cool until then. “Sure, you call the meeting, I’ll prepare the meeting room, get it done ASAP. You fetch her while I tell them the fucking dangers we go through every day, right? Should I call for the team?” 

“No babe, only us. And don’t worry about helping me take her to the back, I can do that, go and prepare, okay?”

“Uhm… fine, you sure?” You asked, well that was weird? Why was he going to be doing all the work? This plan, was… fishy, flawed and suspicious.

“Yes, I’m sure, now go and get the meeting room done, I’ll handle this. Sweetie. Please.”

No, there was certainly something strange about this plan. But he was the love of your life, so you’d do as he said. “Fine, meeting room in building D, uh… room 11 I think?” 

“Sounds good, meet you there. I love you so much,” he said and you gave him a gentle smile, he was acting strange.

“I’m sorry,” you thought you heard him whisper as you turned to leave, but as he was carrying your brave little soldiers body, you guessed it must’ve been directed towards her.

Where you being paranoid?

 

It had been three hours, no one had showed.   
He had betrayed you.   
You’d waited patiently, ready to yell your heart out.   
He’d taken the body, and made you look like such a fool.  
That had been his plan all along.

This idea had been insane, but hey, if it got the message through to them, at least maybe, maybe you could save some of the people that were sent to their deaths. 

Returning to your room, you were feeling… Nothing really. Disappointed? Sad? Angry? 

No, you weren’t feeling anything.

Unlocking your door, the light was on. And there sat your boyfriend.  
He looked upset, and slowly turned to you, a clear look of guiltiness crossed his face.  
If you hadn’t been the way you were right now, you’d have reacted to him.

But your whole body was tired.

“I knew the plan was insane, but you could have told me no. Instead of leaving me waiting, feeling like a moronic and crazy person.” You said, in a completely monotone voice. He looked so worried, “I’m sorry babe, but I couldn’t let you do that, they would have locked you up! For good! I don’t want you to get hurt because you’re in such a terrible state right now. Please, I was only trying to help,” Reaching for your arm, you took a step back.

“I don’t fucking care.” You said, and turned 180 degrees, leaving him a confused mess. Walking out the building, you were heading for the area where your superiors would be resting. It was only midnight, surely one of them must be up.

“Please, babe! Come back inside!” No, you were not going to return to your room, you were going to show your superiors that what they did was not fucking alright. They knew the death count, but what was a number on the paper considered by the real deal?

Hearing your boyfriend running up behind you, you knew he’d stop you. But you were not going to stop, not now. 

Sprinting towards the part of the base where your superiors were resting, you were going to tell them everything that happened, on each and every mission. You’d show them what the fuck was happening to the people they sent out on missions where you were only supposed to gather ‘information’. 

“Babe! Stop!” But you were not going to, not when you were so close, not now, not ever. Surely, they must know, they must be informed. How could they send you out to fight, among others when all they would do was die!

“5-308, I order you to stop!” Even if 5-489 was your superior, you would not let him make you stop, but the fact that you were tired and didn’t see the little rock in front of you, made you stop. Or, well, technically fall over, forcing you to quit running.

The jolt of pain that ran through your body was nauseating, the air that was knocked out of you, felt oh so painful. But you couldn’t help but lie completely still, whimpering. How could they live with themselves?! Because you as sure couldn’t live with yourself, not after everything that you’d done, seen and experienced.

A hand ran down your back, gently, to make you feel better. But it didn’t help, because how could it? A physical touch couldn’t help you, it couldn’t help your fellow dead soldiers and it sure as hell could not help the world.

“Please babe, I know it hurts, but you can’t just be running and yelling at your superiors, and you sure as hell can’t push a dead body into their office. Please understand, there’s not much we can do.” Even if you deep down understood his logic, your mind was clouded with sadness.

“I love you so much babe, but you have to understand, that it’s not okay. There are other ways to deal with it, just-” You cut him off, “Do you honestly think you understand anything?! I have seen more death than you probably ever will, my superiors haven’t probably seen more than one, maybe even none. You guys think you know so much don’t you?”

Pushing yourself up, you could already feel the bruises that would be forming, your bullet wound that had been sown shut, must surely have opened as well.

“I’ve been doing this since I was 19. Now I’m 24 years, I’ve seen so many fall, fucking 78 missions, 79 if you count the one to-fucking-day! Yet it seems that you don’t realize that I’m human, and that there’s only so-so much I can take before I’m torn apart. I’ve lost… shit how many have I lost… over a hundred fellow team mates, and I’ve had to…” The emotions came all at once, overwhelming you.

“I’m a human being, I’m not some machine, I can’t just keep doing this,” You were going to quit, leave for good, “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” 

Painfully gripping at your shoulders, you were forced to sit upright. Giving you a hard stare, bordering a glare, you felt scared. Your boyfriend was scowling at you, looking as if he’d kill you if you continued to talk. Gulping, you felt yourself starting to shake a bit.

“Stop being so fucking selfish, stop thinking and acting you’re the only one who’s in pain all the fucking time! Do you really think they’ll stop sending people out if you quit? No! And they’d only increase the fucking team number to get it done, send more people to their deaths, at least when you’re there they are sure that one person will get it done. If you quit, you’ll be killing people, is that what you fucking want 5-308?! To kill your team?!”

His words stung, your gut wrenched, tears streamed. He was scaring you.  
This was not the man you’d fallen in love with, this was not a man that you’d ever consider to be your boyfriend. He blamed you for their deaths, and told you that if you quit you’d be killing your team. This man, was not someone you loved. Not anymore.

It was as if reality slapped him across the face, 

 

Or well, you did. 

“Don’t talk to me, ever again. We’re through.”

 

Hearing him shout after you, that he was sorry, that he loved you, only hurt you more. But you could not stay in a relationship where one person tried to guilt you into doing something awful. A friend of yours had stayed in an abusive relationship, and look where it got her. Had you only been there in time.

No, you were not ever going to be in a relationship with anyone that tried to make you feel bad, that didn’t consider your feelings, that didn’t try to ‘calm’ you down, a relationship where the other person didn’t truly know you.

Not now, not ever. 

 

 

“And that’s why I don’t feel like dating anyone right now.” You said sipping some tea. The tea itself was just plain old earl grey, but with as much sugar and milk as you added, it was more like hot sugary milk water. Hana looked up at you, humming a bit, before she blew at the steam and sipped away on the contents from her very own mug.

It was nice to have someone you could indulge with, someone that’d listen to you talk about everything and nothing. “So you really did have a bad ex?” You gave her a shrug, “We’re friends now though, he apologized to me for what he’d said, and he actually made a number out of talking to our superiors about our condition. On my next missions, the information was much more detailed, warning us and giving us more ammunition and better weapons. Guess that counts for something?”

“Still though, that was a total dick thing to do, and then he spouts that bullshit in an attempt to keep you there? What the fuck?” She said, taking a long sip of her tea. “Yeah, it was pretty fucked up. I’m getting similar vibes from the guys here, which is why I’m being… cautious to say the least.”

Scrunching up her face, Hana seemed displeased with what you’d told her. “Honestly, don’t see why they can’t leave you alone, you’re not just some… thing, that they can ‘win’. You deserve a lot better than that. But hey, you’ve told me about this 5-489, McCree and Hanzo, but what about Genji? Heard he took you outside a couple days back.”

You’d been talking with Hana for three quarters in the kitchen, eating snacks now and then, finishing several cups of tea. Seemed like your alcohol habit had been replaced with tea, the only thing that seemed to complain about it was your bladder. 

“Yeah, but he said he wanted to be friends first, and then see where it takes us. You know he kissed me right? Like, twice.” She audible gasped, the tea that had just entered her mouth, dribbled to the floor. She gave a cough and you reached for a napkin. Handing it to her, she quickly dried her mouth. “You got to see his face?!” She all but yelled at you.

“Well, not the first time no, and the second time I was pretty fucking focused on his beautiful eyes. Didn’t really get a good look, but from what I could tell, he had… several scars.” She sighed a bit, looking to the side. “Yes… he does… Can’t believe how someone could do that to their very own brother.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, curious about what she’d meant. What had Hanzo done to Genji? Hana swallowed, clearly indicating to you that she had said something she wasn’t supposed to have. “I mean… You really don’t know?” You shook your head, trying to analyse whatever you could. 

The scars, how someone could do that to their brother, had Hanzo scarred Genji’s face? If so, you’d been right all along, that Hanzo really needed to calm the fuck down. But Genji hadn’t mentioned it, he’d even apologised for his brother’s behaviour towards you. Was Genji the one in an abusive relationship, with his own brother? If that was the case, you’d kick Hanzo’s ass.

“It’s not really my place to tell you what happened between them,” Hana started, placing her finished cup of tea in the sink, “I think that’s something one of them should tell you. Even if everyone knows what happened, it’s still a private thing.” Well, fine then, you weren’t going to pry. But at least you knew that there was something about the two brothers that remained untold.

“Anyways, who’s your personal favourite?” You looked up at her, giving her a somewhat confused look. “Favourite out of who?” You asked and she sighed, as if the answer was so obvious. “Out of Genji, McCree and Hanzo.” You didn’t even think, before you replied, “Genji. He treats me like an actual fucking person and he wants to start out as friends, which I’m all for.”

“Hm… Okay, out of those three I agree.” She mulled, and you looked confused. Seemed like she’d wanted to tell you something, but she kept quiet. As her friend, you really didn’t want her to feel bad. “I mean; is there anyone you think I should date? Remember what I told Ana? Just set up a date and I’ll be there.” 

“Oh? It’s alright, I’m not going to force you to date anyone…” She said looking a bit… solemn. You just couldn’t figure out what was bothering her, and that bothered you. Were you a terrible friend? “Please Hana, you know you can tell me anything… What’s bothering you?” 

It really did look as if she wanted to tell you something, but she hesitated. Furrowing your brows, you pushed some of her loose hair behind her ear. “Please Hana, I only want to help, if I can.” You said, trying your best to pry out an answer. “I just… Really like…” Oh god she liked Genji didn’t she! Wow, what a terrible friend you’d been!

“Oh I’m so fucking sorry Hana, I didn’t realize.” You started and took a step back, hands up defensively. She winced and looked as though she was about to cry, “I get that, I haven’t been very obvious about it… I just… I don’t know… You don’t hate me, right?” 

The sight in front of you tugged at your heartstrings, she thought you’d hate her just because the guy of her dreams liked you? No, you’d never hate her for something the two of you didn’t have control over. Hugging her close, you could feel her soft whimpers.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t realize Hana, I’m bad at taking hints. Terrible actually, you have to be direct when it comes to these sorts of things, but I’m not going to blame you for not being able to tell me.” Her hands gripped the back of your shirt, “I’m going to tell Genji that I don’t like him that way, okay?”

“What? You-you’d do that? You don’t hate me?” She asked and looked up at you hopefully, “No silly, I love you, you’re my best friend, right? I’ll back off from Genji and let you have him all to yourself.” You smiled at her, and Hana stared at you in disbelief. She swallowed hard, and looked away, anywhere but you.

“Thanks… but you don’t have to do that… I just thought you liked… Never mind, it’s alright.”  
You looked sadly at her, had you said something to further upset your best friend? Damn, you were just downright awful weren’t you?

“I’m sorry Hana, I don’t know what I did wrong, I’m sorry for being a god awful friend and not realizing it sooner… I just thought since you’re 19 and he’s like, what, 36, that there was no way you could like him. But I’ll back off for you, if that’s what you want?” You gave her a gentle smile.

“I don’t like Genji!” She shouted and you had to take a step back. After noticing your scared reaction, she seemed to collect herself. “I just, have… some issues I need to work through. And no, you can’t help with that, I have to do it on my own. I’m not angry with you, I’m a bit angry with myself. I just… Did something bad.”

“Hana, please. You know you can tell me anything, I’m not really one to judge so anyways. But I’m not going to force you to tell me, I’ll let you deal with it on your own, unless you want me to help.” She gave a gentle, yet fake, smile. “Thanks, I’d appreciate that.”

Opening your arms, you gestured for her to hug you. She held her arms out, and you hugged her tightly.

 

“I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, it's pretty obvious isn't it? READER OPEN UR EYES!!! Also another 5'er ;))))))
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this new chapter, and as always I'm available on tumblr and twitter, so just, y'kno, hmu
> 
> (Sorry for the short chapter, I'm really busy these days, but I'll still do my best to try and post as often as possible)


	25. 'Back the fuck off'

Pharah had pushed you to your breaking point, and beyond. There was no way you could manage another training session with her without dying of exhaustion, there just wasn’t.  
Your muscles were stiff, your back ached, you’d almost projectile vomited on her when she made you run another lap and to top it off, you had a major headache.

“Good workout today, you definitely aren’t out of shape, considering you managed to do my usual training session. Not a lot of people can manage that, especially not on the first try. And I mean, even if you puked everywhere, it was still pretty good.” You wanted to flip her the bird, but decided against it, giving her a thumbs up instead.

As you lay on the hard cement floor, staring at the ceiling, you can feel your heavy breaths and racing heart. “When you’re done taking your 10-minute break, we’ll start the fighting part.” God no, please no. You couldn’t take it anymore, you wanted to lie down and cry.

But how could you refuse to do what she said, she wasn’t your friend, she was your boss! If she wanted you to exercise, then you would exercise. Giving her groans in frustration, she simply laughed at you. Thank god that you were on a friendly basis with this boss, you couldn’t imagine the horrors that 76 might’ve put you through.

“Do you want some water?” 

“Yes, can you help me to my feet first though, slowly…”

She did as you had asked, slowly pulling you up. But it really didn’t matter as you hurled all over the floor. 

“Holy shit!” Pharah yelled, before laughing her brains out.

Yes, please laugh at my pain you piece of fuck. Laugh all you want, but if you punch me in my stomach, I’ll be the one laughing, you sadistic prick.  
Fussing over how angry you were with her for laughing was going to get you nowhere. Ass of right now, you just needed to focus on not puking anymore.

“I love it when people puke after a workout session, means they worked hard.” You heard her whisper as she left to gather some water. This was what every recruit felt like the first couple of weeks after they’d joined the military. Weak, vulnerable and they’d be puking or fainting so much it actually looked kind of funny.

 

She threw you a bottle filled with water, and you gave her a look of gratitude as you started sipping away at the ice cold life source. Water, by itself, was still your favourite kind of drink. 

“You got 2 minutes until we start again, take a moment to calm yourself a bit before we continue. And maybe we should step away from… that.” She pointed to the ground with your puke on it. Point taken.

Throwing the water bottle to the side, you stretched a bit, cracked your knuckles and readied yourself. Pharah was going to be a hard opponent to beat, if you didn’t get knocked out on the first punch.

“Okay, so, considering you know the basics, I think we should just start with fighting. Just to see how well you’re doing. It has been a while, hasn’t it?” Since you last fought someone? Well, you had kicked ass a few weeks back, during the interrogation, but…They’d been drunk, and Pharah, she was not.

“That’s fine, any rules?” You asked and she looked in thought. “No weapons, no ‘unfair’ fighting, the safe word is… Avocado.” Fine, you could do that.  
“Okay, when do we start?” You asked.  
“4… 3… 2…” Wait what right away?! 

 

Pharah didn’t give you time to think as she threw a punch your way, you quickly took a step back, tripping over your own feet, and fell to the ground. With a loud groan, you tried moving away from her, but she kicked your face, making you want to scream out ‘Avocado’.   
Not that it was a particularly hard kick, she seemed to be going a bit soft on you, but it still fucking hurt to be kicked in the face.

Taking the advantage of her thinking you were down for good, you kicked her in her abdomen, giving her no time to react and defend yourself. Quickly rising to your feet as she gathered herself, you took a defensive stance. Payback was a fucking bitch, and Pharah was going to be the receiver.

She yet again attacked you, throwing another punch, aiming for your face. You, quite easily, blocked it and sidestepped. Even if she’d let her position open up a bit when you’d defended yourself, you knew that she too would have easily blocked it. 

What you hadn’t counted on, was that she wasn’t a ‘punch’ person, she was more of a ‘kick’ person. And just when you thought you were free, she kneed you right in the gut. 

It took everything you had not to fucking puke all over her, but alas, the attack had left her face open. Her face hooked up with your fist, you gave it all you had. She took a couple steps back, looking dazed. ‘Yea bitch, don’t think I wouldn’t fight back’ you thought, resuming your defensive stance, bobbing back and forth on your feet.

“Good punch.” You heard her mutter, as she yet again attacked you, this time jumping on top of you, thighs around your neck. The force made you, yet again, fall backwards and if you hadn’t acted quickly, turning a bit as you braced for the fall, you might’ve hit the back of your head. 

Pharah’s thigh grip around your throat tightened as you lay there on the ground. In panic, you bit the inside of her thigh, making her yelp a bit, releasing a bit, just enough for you to slip out of her grip. 

On the ground you tried turning, but she was quicker and was now seated on the top of your back. She pressed your face down on the floor, and she must be holding a shit eating grin that said ‘you lost, are you going to beg?’. But there’d be no begging today.

Even if you weren’t the most… athletic person, you still prized yourself on being one of the more flexible people you knew. How could she have known that you could bend your spine just enough to kick her on the back of her head? She couldn’t and she was very surprised when she fell forward releasing your completely. 

Quickly getting back to your feet, you resumed your defensive position, ready for another attack. Letting her get to her feet, you knew she was either confused, amazed or fucking pissed off. It seemed to be the latter as she rose, and started trying to kick and punch the shit out of you.

Somehow you managed to block most of them, but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less to get hit by them. Hitting your nose, you could feel the blood run down, out of your nose, and she continued to punch you as her knuckles bloodied.

Panic arose, you didn’t want to do this anymore. As you blocked yet another punch, she’d let herself stand in such an open position that you managed to sucker punch her. It was only a left hook, but must’ve hurt like shit as she had to take a couple steps back.

Instead of continuing your defence, you went into ‘attack mode’. Which meant that you’d be doing the punching and kicking. 

You managed to land a few blows here and there, making her wince with pain every time a hit landed. She already had a black eye forming, and you guessed you didn’t look a lot better.

 

Continuing to use each other as a punching bag, the two of you failed to notice someone entering the gym. Pharah had managed to get her foot in-between your legs, and pushed you backwards, making you fall on your behind. Fuck, she was good.

As she was about to kick you in the face, someone threw themselves on top of Pharah, making her one-foot stance falter. She fell to the side, and you heard a huff. 

“What the fuck are you doing Pharah?!” 

She was pinned to the ground, struggling, and you yelled “Avocado!” making your intervener look at you. 76 looked pissed off, from what you could tell at least, considering his mask was covering most of his face.

“We were training.” You heard Pharah say, albeit muffled considering her face was pushed into the ground. He looked up at you, as if looking for confirmation that you had in fact not been attacked. 

“Yes, and I could’ve handled myself, you know?” Although you probably couldn’t have. Yet another kick to the face, and you would have been knocked the fuck out. Even if you could tell both Pharah and 76 looked at you with disbelief, you still held your ground. 

“Fine.” You heard 76 mutter, as he backed off of Pharah, letting her loose. Wobbling towards her, you seated yourself on the ground next to her, looking at your fine work of art. 

“Wow, I did a pretty good job on your face didn’t I? Looks like you’ve been hit by a truck.” You heard her tell you as you raised a brow, “Looked in the mirror lately, not really a pretty sight.” She snickered, looking back at you proudly.

“You both look like shit.” Thank you Mr. Grumpy pants, that comment really helped. “Yeah whatever. But don’t interrupt my training session the next time, god knows she needs it, could have killed her a couple times.” 

Sending her one of your worst grimaces, she just winked at you. “I could say the fucking same. Anytime you punch you leave your chest so fucking open, if I’d had a knife Pharah, you might be a goner. Although I got literally fucking nothing on your kicks, they’re the best I’ve ever fucking seen.” She smiled, and you helped her get to her feet.

“Says you, I mean, how the fuck did you manage to kick the back of my head in that position? And you can fucking block, I’m pretty sure I was hitting a fucking wall at some point.” She was literally beaming, a huge smile present on her face. This woman, one of the more serious and emotionless woman you had met, was smiling at you.

“Thank you, but I agree with Morrison, we need to wash off this,” You pointed to your face, and then to hers, “And that.” Pharah seemed to stop in her tracks, yet again giving you a look, that you remembered from somewhere. Fuck, you’d used ‘Morrison’ again, hadn’t you?

“Go hit the showers, soldier. And then go visit Mercy, I need to talk to Pharah.” You heard him mumble, as you wobbled towards the gym exit. Looking back, you could see Pharah, a grin on her face, and winked at you, before turning to 76, taking on a serious look.

Fuck.

Moving on from the gym incident, you left for the wardrobes. Keeping a hand steady on the wall, you tried to balance yourself the best you possibly could. It’s not easy to walk after a training session like that. At least Pharah wouldn’t be far behind if you passed out in the hallway, wardrobe or showers. 

Pushing the door open to the wardrobes, you started peeling off each item of sweaty clothing, slowly. You hated wearing soaked clothes as they clung to your body, and it didn’t help that it was bodily fluids that made you like this. Standing in the wardrobe, completely naked, you opened up your locker and picked up your fluffy white towel.   
Grabbing some shampoo and body wash, you hit the showers. 

As the hot water hit your back, letting all your sweat, dirt and blood flow away, you couldn’t help but feel a bit… good? You’d certainly not done a bad job training with Pharah, heck, you hadn’t even done a bad job fighting her. It’d actually been a lot of fun when you thought about it.

Well, at least you’d be getting to fight her a lot more considering she was training you. Smiling a bit to yourself, you started washing your hair. Wincing a bit as your hair accidentally brushed against your sensitive nose. Even if exercising was hell, you felt so good afterwards.

Rinsing out the shampoo, you started washing your body with some soap. Scrubbing away, you could feel your slippery skin. You didn’t look half bad, even if you didn’t have prominent abs, you could still feel them underneath. Although, you didn’t feel like exercising and eating healthy enough to do that, you didn’t feel bad about the way your body looked. 

Even though it was covered in scars and old battle wounds, you felt somewhat good? Content, fine. You didn’t exactly love your body, but it wasn’t half bad. 

 

Hearing Angela gasp, you gave her a half smile. Wasn’t as though she hadn’t seen your face all messed up before, and if Pharah was going to continue training with you, it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“Pharah come by yet?” You asked as you seated yourself on the counter. She still held a somewhat surprised look, until something seemed to ‘ping’ in her head. Maybe she remembered that Pharah had promised you a couple weeks back to train with her.

“Hold on dear, I’ll use my staff for this.” She smiled and turned to pick up her caduceus staff, and pointed it at you. “So, who won?” She asked while a yellow aura surrounded you. Gently laughing at her question, she couldn’t help but not give you a smile. “I’d love to say me, but it seemed like she had an advantage, until 76 intervened.”

Narrowing her eyes at you, it soon twisted into a face of pure amusement. A sly smirk adorned her face. “No more ‘Morrison’ huh? What happened, the two of you doing someone else? Heard all about you and the guys, your brother finds it quite funny actually.” 

Giving her a pure look of disgust, it seemed like you’d made your point. However, just to make it clear, you were going to set shit straight.  
“76 was the one who wanted me to call him Morrison, I didn’t really have a fucking say in the matter. Didn’t know that meant I’d fucked him, because I haven’t. Plus, I’m not feeling up for dating, can you please tell that to your flirty ass teammates? Really get the point across to them? And what the fuck, are you and my brother besties now or what?”

Her gentle huff told you everything you needed to know, you’d been rude to her. “Fine, but you’re acting like a total… douche, right now. No need to be rude to me, when your issues is with them.” Who knew Mercy would show you no mercy? Anyways, you were going to apologise to her right away. 

“Sorry Angela, just… I’m confused and annoyed, I haven’t really asked for it you know?” She put her staff away and examined her work, aka. Your face. “I mean; I see the appeal. You are beautiful dear. Especially when you smile or laugh. Whenever you’re happy, it seems like you just light up the room. If I weren’t already involved with someone, I’d love to just snatch you up.” 

At that you could feel your cheeks burning a bit, why were people flirting with you? You wanted to look a bit scarier, maybe people wouldn’t like you then. Make you into a blushing mess. “Anyways, your brother is good company, he has since he’s arrived here become good friends with most people on base.” 

The better sibling, the perfect kid, the genius. You were the plain cast-away, that’s what most people thought, now even your bosses. Thank god… Though, maybe you shouldn’t be jealous… Wait, were you jealous?

“Good that he’s behaving himself, we done?” You asked stepping off the counter. Angela gave you a nod. How come you always sounded so angry? Well, right now you had been jealous of your brothers socializing skills. There was no excuse, you were a fucking rude ass cold hearted wench, weren’t you? A loveless little fucker? 

It was hilarious how despite you being you, that people still managed to like you. Or, did they just want some cheap sex? No that couldn’t be it, could it? Plausible yes, but… You’re an idiot aren’t you? Just get these guys someone to fuck and they’d move on, as simple as that.

Smiling almost devilishly to yourself, you’d finally come up with a plan that seemed that it was going to work. Time to play Mary Matchmaker.

 

“You want to go to a club?! I thought you quit alcohol!” Hana yelled at you, angrily, but you were stopping her before she could make more assumptions. “Of course I won’t drink; I’ll just be dancing. Besides you’ll be there, right?” You patted her head as she huffed. Felt kind of good to be the taller one at times, didn’t it?

“Why do you want to go to a club? It’s not some excuse to slip a couple drinks, right?” Putting a hand at your chest you feigned offence, “Oh Hana, how you wound me! No, I won’t be drinking at all. It’s all part of my plan.” You gave her a smirk, and she took on a look of suspicion. 

“What plan?” She asked, and you almost grinned. “To get the guys to stop bothering me! I invite the gang out, we go out drinking, I’ll just be drinking water don’t worry, and I hook them up with a couple ladies. Bada bing, bada boom, they fall for some floozy and I’m left alone so I can do my actual work!”

“You’re terrible at making plans…” She started and you crossed your arms. “Well, if they are so terrible, why do they seem to work most of the time?” Hana huffed and put her hands on her hips, “That was purely by accident though!” And you ‘tsk’d her.  
“Still worked, I’m lucky like that.” 

“What you didn’t calculate however, is how you’re going to talk to Hanzo without confessing your ‘undying love’ to him.” Giving her a fake laugh, you clapped your hands together. “That is where you come in sweetie. You have to convince him for me!” She scrunched her nose, she didn’t really feel like getting involved in your romantic drama.

“Please Hana, I don’t feel like dating any of them, not at the moment at least. Please help me, pretty please with sugar on top!” You were begging her, and it was so strange. You never begged anyone for anything. At all. Or well, lately you’d had to. Which annoyed you to no end.

“Alright, but I’m allowed to bail out at any given moment, okay?” She said, and you pulled her in for a tight hug. “Oh Hana, you are the best!” Giving her a kiss on her forehead, you could see her visibly changing colour. Heh, seems like she couldn’t take friendly compliments either.

“But I need to get some kind of ‘acceptance’ to leave base though? Would it be Winston that I’d have to talk to for that?” You asked looking at the sweet girl in your arms. “And what would I even wear? What are you going to wear? You can borrow some of my clothes! You know what, we can have a vorsch in my bathroom! With soda of course.” You smiled, and let her go running off to talk to Winston.

“See you tonight Babe!” You yelled after her, as you started excitedly running towards Winston’s office. Had it not been because of the caduceus staff, your muscles would have been so sore you wouldn’t have been able to walk. But here you were, skipping happily through the halls like a little child.

Were you really so excited? And what were you excited about? The fact that you’d get to have fun with friends, that you’d get to do one of your crazy fucking plans or the fact that soon no one would care about you romantically? That last thought turned your happy little skipping session, into a slow walk in thought. 

Were you really trying to fuck over the last couple shots you had at romance? And by that, you mean that you weren’t really getting any fucking younger. You were only 25, soon turning 26, but most people your age had a stable job without any potential of getting punched and kicked in their faces, they had a house or apartment, a car, an education, a pet or two, a fiancé, maybe even kids.

What did you have? A job as a ‘groundskeeper’ at an organization that was borderline illegal. You had your brother, but he managed just fine without you. He would probably have managed better if you weren’t there, maybe he wouldn’t have to worry so much? Then there was Hana, your best friend who you were sure was keeping secrets from you. What else had you to show for the world? Nothing.

Was this plan really a good idea? Make them fall out of love with you, just because you thought you weren’t interested, just because you thought they couldn’t change? You didn’t even know them, and here you were already rejecting them, based on the fact that you didn’t want to think about your own feelings.

What were your feelings towards all this? You were certain you had some, but it was all too confusing, too frustrating for you to even think about. 

Stopping in the middle of the hallway, you looked out in the air, at nothing in particular.

Your mom, when she was still alive, had told you not to burn bridges. What she’d meant by that, was not to turn down people who were just reaching out to socialize with you. Even if you’d considered yourself fairly social in your teen years, it all ended soon. You hadn’t contacted your old friends in years, and they had tried to reach out to you, invited you out. But there was always a mission in the way, wasn’t there?

What if you were in the wrong here? Everyone had told you to wait and see where things went, yet here you were planning on rejecting people’s offer before anything had really been done or asked. Are you in the wrong here? 

Someone lightly tapped your forehead, and suddenly you yet again faced reality.   
“You in there?” Blinking a bit and running a hand through your hair, you looked at the sweet man in front of you. Lucio gave you a gentle smile, be it out of awkwardness that he had ‘awoken’ you from your thought stream or the fact that he was just generally happy to see you, you didn’t know for sure.

“Yeah, sorry, I just… Have a lot to think about.” You said and sighed, which sounded a bit dramatic. It made you mentally cringe, and you hoped he thought nothing of it. “Looks like it. You okay?” He asked and felt his gaze roam your body. Even if you had showered, changed clothes and healed up, you still felt like a mess.

“Truth be told? I’m not feeling good, at all. There’s a thousand thoughts roaming through my head, and I can’t seem to pin them down, can’t seem to make up my own mind… I just really want to calm myself, not think about everything for once, just have fun.” He seemed to smile at what you’d said, and you wanted to ask, but stopped before he started talking. “That I can help with! You need to relax, listen to some tunes, dance and have fun, honestly, why didn’t you come to me right away?” 

Smiling at his offer, you felt like you were going to take him up on it. “I don’t know, I just… I haven’t been thinking ‘well’ lately, maybe if I had I would have considered asking. Anyways, I really need to relax and get my mind off of things, you got some time?” You weren’t sure he could look sweeter than this, he looked so excited and happy, you wanted to ‘aw’ at him. “For you? Always!” 

That came out… As almost romantic? Maybe you were just reading into shit too much, you really needed to get your head out of the gutter. Not everyone who treated you kindly wanted to get involved with you romantically.

“Sure, I got tonight off, like most on base.”

This was… actually helpful information if you were going to go through with your plan. To hell with it, you were only 25 years and you’re fairly attractive, you got plenty of time to settle down!

“Then it’s settled, we’ll ask permission to take everyone to a club! I know just the one!” You said smiling, albeit a devilish one. Lucio didn’t seem to notice your true intentions, he was so pure, and smiled right back.

“Who’re you going to ask for permission? Soldier 76? I heard he was in a bad mood today, considering there was some incident with Pharah in the training room? I don’t know the details but I think it’d be a safer option to ask Winston. He would probably love the idea!” 

Lucio, oh dear Lucio. He was really helping your plan come along. “Sure thing bud, let’s go ask him, together!” You said, hooking your arm in his. Time to initiate plan 

 

‘Back the Fuck off’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuckle, Reader can fucking F I G H T!!  
> My man Lucio, you're in for a fucking treat. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this new chapter and as always, I'm on Tumblr and Twitter, hmu
> 
> Also, sorry for this chapter being a short one, the next one however………… I've planned to write about 20 000 words, hEHHEHHEH!! It'll take like… a couple days, considering I'm going to Landstreffet (a concert/festival for Russ), IM SO EXCITED!!!!


	26. A night out

“I mean, if you’re comfortable like that, go ahead, but I know for a fact that there’s no fucking point in wearing heels to town. What if you slip, or trip? You’re going to fracture or break your ankle! Even if I know Angela would heal you right up, trust me when I say, that it hurts like fucking hell.”

Hana gave you a slight pout at your comment, as she continued to examine your high heels and pumps. She wanted to wear you plain black pumps, which made her about 10 centimetres taller. The last time you’d worn those, you’d fallen and twisted your ankle. Although, maybe you shouldn’t blame the pumps, you had been drunk off your ass.

“What shoes will you be wearing then?” she asked and you brought out a pair of comfortable white sneakers. “These,” you said, and she looked at you in disbelief. How could you choose sneakers over heels when going out? You were about to educate her. 

“Nobody cares if you wear heels or not, they could literally care less. Then there’s the fact that it’s so much easier to dance in, trust me. I’ve been going out since… forever, and any time I’ve worn heels out, I’ve gotten too tired to stand, resulting in me missing out on a lot of dancing. I learnt that fairly fast, when going out, always choose comfortable shoes over other fancy footwear.”

Looking a bit in thought, she put the pumps back into the drawer with all your shoes, and brought out some fancy flats. Looking to you, you gave her a smile and wink of approval. 

“But won’t I look too…I don’t know, out of place? You know I don’t tend to go out clubbing.” She said and you couldn’t help but feel a bit of pity. Did she really think anyone actually cared if she wore heels or not? Thinking back, you certainly had the first couple times you went out. Only when you’d gotten a bit older had you realized that there was no fucking point.

“Hana, trust me when I say, you’ll look more ‘in-place’ if you wear those sneakers,” You pointed to the pair in her hands. Completely black sneakers, brand name shoes, with the ability to light up if you charged them. “Than if you wear any of these.” You pointed to the rest of your heels and pumps in the shoe drawer. 

“Besides, I’ll find you the perfect outfit to go along with them!” She still seemed uncertain about what you’d said, but giving her a reassuring shoulder pat, seemed to calm her mind a bit.

“You more of a skirt of pants kind of person?” You asked as you opened up drawers, looking for a certain top. “Am I not going to wear a dress?” She asked, a bit of surprise in her tone.  
Giving her a look that said ‘Hun, no’ she seemed a bit embarrassed that she’d even asked. Even though that wasn’t your intention.

“I mean, you can wear a dress I got, but since I’m a bit bigger than you and it’s already really loose, you might show off your tits more than you’d like.” You said tossing out some pants and old skirts. Failing to notice her blush.

“But I think I have just the thing for you though, just hang on!” You said, as you tried to search through the mess that was now your drawers. The clothes had been so neatly folded, so well organized, and now everything was just a lumpy mess.

Pulling out a deep red velvet top, you tossed it onto your bed. “This one.” You said, and continued your search for a pair of pants. But you could only find pants that definitely wouldn’t fit her frame. “Hana, you got a pair of black jeans?” You asked while holding up a pair, just to see if it might fit her.

“I do; you want me to fetch it?” She asked while studying the top you’d picked for her. “Yes please” you sung, and you could hear the door opening and closing. If she was going to be wearing that velvet top, black jeans and those shoes, she’d need a jacket to match!

 

How you’d gotten into this situation, where you would be finding Hana an outfit to wear, was all part of your plan. Earlier, you’d found Winston in his office, and alongside Lucio, convinced him the team needed a day to relax, have fun and bond. He seemed reluctant, even if he liked your idea. ‘Someone needed to watch the base, and I’m not certain if your brother will be able to join.’ He’d told you, to which you pouted. 

He was right, but you also told him that it wasn’t really everyone’s scene either, Efi was a child so she wouldn’t even be able to join. That left her, Orisa and your brother at the base. Then you casually mentioned that Bastion probably wouldn’t want to join either, which left your brother and the base secured. He still seemed reluctant, but you still had a trick up your sleeve.

‘It’s important for the team to bond, just like a family! Which means part of our team can have a ‘Family evening’ meaning watching a movie, eating good food and playing games, while the other part can go out and dance!’ As you mentioned the word ‘family’, it seemed like Winston really perked up. He accepted your request and let you send out a message to the whole team.

The feedback had been really positive, people really seemed to enjoy the idea of casually hanging out, they all needed a day off to chill. Considering all the difficult missions lately, they seemed to crave it. Everyone had sent you confirmation that they’d be coming to either one. Which meant you’d needed to inform your dear omnic chefs that they needed to order some junk food. 

 

“Uh, what happened here?” You whipped your head around to see who was standing in your doorway. None other than one of the few people that had permission to enter your room, your very own brother. “Trying to find Hana and myself an outfit for our night out.”

Hearing him hum and shoving some clothes to the side on your bed, he seated himself and started staring at you. “What’s your game?” he asked, which caused you to look at him. “What do you mea-” Your brother cut you off, “You know what I mean, you’re not a social butterfly, yet here you invite people out to ‘bond’” He said scowling at you.

“If you absolutely have to know, without the alcohol my minds all jumbled, can’t calm down. I don’t know if you know, but I have had a lot to think about lately. I needed a day off, and Lucio all but suggested a night out to dance. I agreed and decided to invite everyone, since everyone needs to relax!” He still scowled at you, he didn’t believe you. He shouldn’t believe you either, that wasn’t your plan.

“Stop scowling at me, I’m telling the truth! I really need a day off, and since I have no other way to relieving all this stress, I thought it was a good idea.” You were a good liar, or well, half-truth teller. However, your brothers job, aside from the programming and hacking part, was to know when someone was being faux. Your only hope was that he wouldn’t be able to tell, or react to it.

“Fine, I give in. I think it’d be good for you to go out and have some fun.” At some point you thought that he’d actually believed you, and almost felt a wash of relief come over you. He bought it.

“But, it still seems like you got something planned… This ain’t one of your crazy schemes is it? You know there’s a 99% chance of them going wrong, right?” He said, and you felt yourself wanting to scoff. That’d reveal you though, it would seem like you were overplaying it. Honesty, was the best policy.

“I always got schemes, but still, I really want to have fun tonight and like, solve some thoughts out. I won’t be drinking and Hana will be there to take care of me if something happens. Hell, most of my bosses will be there, I’ll be safe.” You said, giving him a gentle smile.

This didn’t seem to take his mind off of things, and he still held a very worried look on his face. “Still sis, I want you to be safe.” Fine, you’ll take care of yourself. You are an adult after all, with fighting experience, surrounded by fucking heroes. You’ll be alright.

“So I want you to take this.” he said, giving you a pen. Studying it, it didn’t seem to look any different from a regular old BIC pen filled with blue ink. “Thanks for the pen?”

“You don’t know what it is, do you?” he asked and you handed it back to him, so he could show off whatever it was that it was supposed to do. “Remember the Ele-C?” What the fuck was that?

“Uh… no?” you said, thinking back. “The electrical device I showed you?” You really ought to start studying the names of your devices, even your pager thing had a name, just that you hadn’t bothered learning it. Calling things devices was much simpler than remembering the actual names.

“Is this it?” You asked, taking a step back. “This? No, this is just a tracking device that I got to make it in Winston’s lab.” So you were not getting some super cool weapon to bring? Fine.

 

It was tiring really. 

Everything was pretty tiring as of lately, more than usual.

Are you stressed?

Perhaps you were.

There was just this urge to do something, like an itch in the back of your skull. You couldn’t truly describe the feeling, it just felt like you were forgetting something, and that you’d get paid back for not remembering. 

Never mind that, you had to push it back, there was simply not time to think about it. Why didn’t you have the time though? There was really not any pressure on you, was there? Some kind of unexplained pressure forcing you to be like this?

 

“You’re spacing out sis, and I think Hana’s knocking on the door, you want me to open?”   
Letting yourself drift off like that wasn’t good for you, but you needed to sort out your thoughts, and with constant interruptions as these, you really didn’t have the time.

Did you really need a vacation? Did you need to leave everyone, just to fucking think? It could actually be clever, maybe when you’re visiting the graves, maybe you could get some time to think and relax? Because you need that, you do.

“Sis?” You heard your brother ask, as he took a hold of your shoulders. “You okay?” But you didn’t answer, what was the point even? You’d only give him some half assed excuse and reassure him that you were fine, even if you weren’t.

“Yes,” you heard yourself automatically whisper, “I’m fine, just open up will you?” 

It was certainly your voice, but it didn’t feel like you’d said it. Someone else felt like they were controlling your body, even when you knew that technically wasn’t possible. Dissociation can be a motherfucking bitch. 

“I think you should stay in.” Your brother said, as his hands left your shoulders. 

He stood up and stretched himself out. You looked at him in awe, he was really tall. There was a present stubble on his chin, visible cheekbones and some wrinkles forming. Looking at him, he seemed so old, so mature. He was only in his late 20s, two more years until he turned 30. How could he seem so fine with everything? Did he not want a normal life?

“Athena, please.” He said, as the door opened. Hana was panting and huffing, as she entered your chambers. “Thanks man.” She said wiping some sweat that had formed on her forehead with her left hand. Must have been running to her room to find the pair she was currently wearing. Some black jeans with a couple rips in them.

“I think sis should stay in, she seems a little out of it.” Your brother stated, and Hana took on a look of worry. “You okay? You seemed just fine earlier?” She asked walking over and crouching down next to you and your pile of clothes that was strewn out on the floor.

Something seemed to click inside you, and you shook your head a bit. “Me? I’m just fine, I just thought about something… like remember the last time I was out? It was… somewhat traumatizing, but I know I’ll be fine this time Hana, don’t worry.”

Your brother seemed to perk up at this, “Last time? Traumatizing? What happened?” He asked, seeming even more reluctant on letting you go. Shit, you should not have said anything about that.

“Just some creeps hitting on me, which made me hit on them. With my fist.” You said, giving him a somewhat smile. You could only hope he wouldn’t question you any further. Though, he seemed to sigh at this. A real deep sigh, almost as if he seemed relieved?

“Glad to hear that you can still punch people’s face in, but hey watch over yourself, okay? And Hana as well, she’s only 19-years-old, grandma.” You stuck your tongue out at his statement, alongside Hana, who sent him a damn dirty look. “I’m not even drinking tonight, and I’m going to be surrounded by heroes. I’ll be fine bro, you and your fretting, honestly. You sound just like dad!” 

Laughing a bit amongst the three of you, it seemed like you could finally talk about your parents without feeling bad. “Anyways, are you staying in here? Hana and I are going to start changing so…” 

“I can take a fucking hint, besides, I need to read up on something, Sombra’s been making some bold moves according to some intel I got from Winston. I love you lots sis.”  
Leaning down, he gave you a kiss on your forehead. A sweet gesture that made you feel appreciated. 

Feels good, feels organic.

The door opened and closed. Hana seemed to let out a deep shaky breath, which you just caught. Staring at her, she was faced away from you, slowly taking off her Overwatch top. She had quite a bit of muscles on her back, which kind of surprised you, considering she seemed to be the ‘skinny muscles’ type where abs showed because you were so skinny.

“Are you alright?” You asked, just as she tossed her top into your pile of clothes. No bra? ‘Bold move Hana, I like your guts’ you thought smiling at her back. Even if you were just friends, you could appreciate someone’s looks. Right?

“Just… Your brother always seems to put me on edge…” She said, and then caught herself. “I don’t, I don’t mean that in a bad way of course! He’s just… a bit intimidating?” she said, very flustered. Cute…

“Because he’s a genius, or because he looks like he could snap your spine in half with just a look?” You asked as you pried your eyes off of her. “Both really, I mean, I heard him talking to Winston and Torbjörn, and even though I know they’re all freaking geniuses, I felt so dumb, you know?” Only giving her a hum, you let yourself look through the drawers yet again. 

You’d be wearing the white shoes, but what should you wear with them? 

“Even if I’m able to nap around him and all, that’s only because he’s your brother and all, but… I don’t know, maybe it’s all in my head.” 

Now where was that cute top you’d bought a while back? You were sure it was around. 

“He can be that way with me as well, but you get used to it. It’s his defence system. He has to be like that at work and outside, because of his status. Sometimes he brings it back home, which means he has to ease up, or you have to. You’ll get used to it, I think?”

Hana seemed to be finished putting on the velvet top, as she kneeled down next to you, pulling out tops, shorts, skirts and pants from the floor. “I hope so, he’s your family after all…” she said as her hand seemed to brush against something resembling the top you’d wanted.

“Could you give me that top?” you asked, and put your hand on hers. She kind of jerked back a bit, apparently touching her hand was a ‘no-go’ at the moment. Pulling your hand away, you apologized. Sometimes you weren’t a big fan of getting touched either, you could be so insensitive.

Quickly handing you your top, Hana rose to her feet and moved quickly to sit on your bed. 

“It’s alright, but what kind of pants are you going to wear with that?” She asked, “Oh wait, are you wearing pants with that?” 

You’d never worn the top, the white sweetheart cut top had stayed in the back of your drawers. Which meant you weren’t certain whether pants or a skirt would fit more. But you had your suspicions that it’d fit with a high waist, washed out jeans.

“Maybe.” You said as you frantically looked for your pair. Seemed like it was easier to find them than it’d been to find your top, you were sitting on them. 

“You think these’ll fit?” You asked, as you held up the two items of clothing in your hands. “Maybe?” Hana said, with a tone you could only describe as ‘in thought’. “Try it on?” She suggested and you pushed yourself off the floor.

“Yeah, I guess… By the way, mind braiding my hair again? Like, fishtail is it?” You asked and she gave off a little hiss. “Uh… I’m not so good with that, I prefer French braiding. But I can try?” All you asked of her was that she tried.

“Can you smell me? Do I need a shower?” You asked leaning down so she could smell your hair. “Just of caramel, you smell good.” She said after she’d given your head a long whiff. “Good, I don’t know if I’ve even got the time to shower considering we’ve got what, an hour or something?” You asked, as she gave you a slight shrug.

“Where are we even going?” She asked as you walked over to your bathroom door, opening it up. “Uh… I think Champions? You been?” Entering your bathroom, you put your clothes on the counter and re-entered your room. The dire need of fresh underwear was strong. 

“Not really? I’ve been to Sam’s, Light UP and Hot, but not Champions?” She said looking at you going through the underwear drawer. Holding up a white lacy thong and a matching bra, you looked at Hana. “You’ve never been? Really? Here I thought I was the least ‘hip’ person in the room.” You teased her.

“I’m not a ‘going out’ kind of person. I prefer soda over alcohol, any day.” She said, a bit defensively. Was she hurt by your comment? Maybe you ought to make it up to her with a bit of self-deprecating humour?

“Yeah, not everyone can be an alcoholic.” You said and she gave off a slight giggle. She knew you didn’t mean it, even if it was sort of true. “Anyways, how is it there?” She asked, as you tossed your underwear on top of the bathroom counter along with your other clothes. Your top slid into your sink, and you almost panicked about it getting wet until you remembered that no one had used the sink in a while.

“The music is decent, the drinks so-so, but the atmosphere and people are pretty good. Get this, they got fucking lava lamps!” You said with glee as you found a wash cloth. Time to wash off some of that nasty sweat that had formed while you’d worked. “Really? That’s pretty cool.” She said. 

Taking off your shirt, you half closed the door. You had to get stark naked if you wanted to wash yourself and change into your underwear. “Yeah, and like, it usually starts out pretty calm, like at a pub, or well… I don’t know, you just get to talk to a lot of tipsy adventurous people from all over the world. And then at some point, usually around eleven or midnight, it turns into this fun party! Everyone’s jumping around, dancing, singing along to songs, honestly, you just have to see it for yourself!”

As you continued to undress, you heard Hana sigh. What was the matter? Did she really not want to go out? Did she feel obligated to go, just because of your stupid plan?

“You know you don’t have to join me? Right? I think my brother wants me home early, and I don’t even know if my plan will work, which means you don’t technically have to go. You know?” Washing your armpits, you tried to listen to any signs that might indicate her not wanting to go.

“It’s not that, I’m just… Nervous. I don’t tend to go out, I’m not really experienced. And last time, it went… It didn’t go well, I was only lucky that Lucio was with me and managed to carry me home.” Was that the last time she’d been out? If so, she needed to get some more experience, some good for once.

“Fuck, Hana…” You started, and tossed your used washcloth in the laundry bin, which was conveniently placed in your bathroom. Slipping on your underwear, you continued, “I don’t think I’ll go through with the plan. You need some good memories from being out, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to help you create those!”

“Wait, really?” She asked as you heard her shuffle a bit on your bed. “Definitely, you deserve it. I’ve had plenty of fun while out, with and without alcohol.” Your bra was next, and you tried your best to put on the clasps. Wasn’t so difficult, but this bra was for some reason trickier than your others.

As you’d pulled it on, Hana opened the door. “You mind putting on some music?” You asked as you leant down to find a deodorant. Hearing a yelp, you jerked a bit dropping the deodorant you’d just picked up. “Y-yeah, I’ll… I’ll do that! Sorry!” Hana yelled and quickly shut the door. 

Oh, was she… She must not be comfortable with you being around her half naked! Damn, you should have given her some sort of warning. Stupid.

Rolling some floral smelling deodorant on, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. Just move on, okay? That’s what you needed to do, move on.

Putting the top over your head, and rolled it down. A tight fit, you really ought to cut back on the snacks you’ve been having. Sure you had exercised a bit more lately, and you’d stopped drinking which was a calorie bomb, but you’d increased the candy consumption. 

It’s not like you could see any rolls or anything, but you felt your breasts being a bit more exposed than you’d like them to be. Thank you whoever made the fat go straight to your hips, ass and boobs. Finding things for you was difficult, especially when you didn’t feel like showing off your body.

“Hana, can I even wear this?” You said, as you slid on your pants. “You decent?” She asked and you blew a raspberry. “I’m sorry sweets, I should have given you a heads up. I’m just zipping and buttoning up my pants, you can come in.”

She re-entered a speaker in one hand, her phone in the other. “I feel very exposed in the top area, should I switch to a more… I don’t know, hidden top? I have another I could wear; I’ve just never worn this one.” Examining you, from head to toes, she seemed to be in thought. Looking at you as if you were a difficult math formula she was studying for a test.

“If you feel comfortable showing off your cleavage, I say, go for it.” She said as she’d deducted whatever it was she seemed to be studying you for. “It’s not too overexposed?” You asked, sounding a bit self-conscious, which sort of was the case. “I wouldn’t say so, no. Besides, I assume you’ll be wearing a jacket?”

“You are correct sweets, I will be, which reminds me, that you’re allowed to treat yourself to any jacket in my closet. Just have in mind that you need to be able to tie it around your hips, or you’ll be wearing it for the rest of the night. Which can get pretty damn hot.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll keep that in mind. Shouldn’t we worry about putting on some make-up though?” Hana said as she started fooling around with her phone, clearly trying to find some music to set the mood. “Any preferences?” She asked as she scrolled through playlist after playlist. You had several preferences, but it’s not as though you were going to show her how big of a nerd you actually were.

“I don’t really care, put on something with some beats though. Love me some of that bass.” You said, as you bumped your hips into hers, making her stumble a bit. Scowling at you, you giggled at her grimace and sent her one of your own. “You brought your makeup sweets?”

“Uh… I did not, I’ll be right back.” She said as she gave you free range to choose some music. You smiled after her as she ran out of your room, and gave a light chuckle when she ran into the wall. It was like watching a puppy running around the house. 

Continuing to scroll through the several hundred playlists, you kind of gave up. Maybe she wouldn’t mind it if you looked through her personal playlists? Which you did. You’d beg her for forgiveness if she got upset with you about it, although you knew she probably wouldn’t. 

A lot of playlists seemed to be named Feelings. Actually, all of them seemed to be named Feelings, with either an emotion or an action afterwards. Feelings: Training, Feelings: Happy, Feelings: Tired, Feelings: Showering. There even seemed to be playlists with people’s names. Feelings: Lucio.

Should you?

Should you snoop around and have a looksee? 

Hana wouldn’t be back for at least five minutes, and you’d only sneak a peak. Maybe you could figure out if… she liked him or not? Aside from you, he seemed to be her other best friend, and you were… Not exactly jealous, but you had a sixth sense that lingered. That she might have some feelings for him which she hadn’t told you about. 

OH!

That must be her secret, that must be why she’s so secretive. She’s in love with him! Makes a lot of sense now that you think about it. Guess that playlist must be pretty private then, huh? You’d not snoop if it meant she’d actually get her feelings hurt.

Accidentally pressing it open with your thumb, you cursed your hand. Only to discover that it only consisted of songs that Lucio had made. Which actually made a whole lot more sense, in your opinion. She’d never openly expressed her love for him, and here you’d been talking about your own romance troubles.

It was like a feeling of relief washed over you, but you weren’t sure why. Are you really this relieved that she’s not talking about who she’s in love with, or the fact that she’s not in love with anyone just like you? That you’re in the same boat and all?

Anyways, you looked through a playlist that consisted of songs from the late 2010s. People found it strange that you preferred old songs like this, over the newer ones, or even the classics. But hey, can’t help but like what you like, right? Some people even liked songs from the 1900s, so who were they to judge your trashy music opinion?

A soft beat started, and you felt your body starting to move along to the music. Warming up for tonight’s events. You’re not sure whether you’ll actually go through with the plan or not, as you’d told Hana that you’d just focus on having fun and creating memories with her. Which is honestly what you wanted the most tonight. 

To have fun, to feel free and stop your worries.

Which is just what alcohol had done for you. 

Couldn’t hurt with a little sip tonight? You’ve not had a drink since… the interrogation. You know what, maybe not. Not unless you’re offered and you can’t decline. 

Your hips joined in on the beat, side to side. Gently bobbing your head, you let yourself loosen up a bit. It’s actually been a while since you last went dancing, such a long time. Last time you were faced with the guy who’s dick you’d sucked, and you’d forgotten him, even if you’d asked him not to forget you.

But tonight, none of that mattered, what mattered was you.

 

“I’m back! What’re you listening to?” Hana asked as the door opened only to reveal you and your half decent dance moves. In one hand she held a makeup bag and the other a bag full of makeup brushes. She must’ve walked in on something strange, as she started giggling at the sight of you dancing.

Which made you stop, were you really that god awful at dancing? You hoped not, even though you knew you weren’t a professional, you knew that you weren’t exactly the worst dancer out there. “Am I really that awful?” You asked, in a playful tone, trying your best not to show her that you were in fact a bit hurt by her giggles.

“No just- It’s strange? I’ve never seen you dance, you look so happy, so, serene… And then there’s the fact that you’re playing Marina and the Diamonds How to be a Heartbreaker. Really fits you actually.” In what way? You’ve never actually broken someone’s heart, not on purpose at least.

“Anyways, I got the makeup, what do you want to do tonight?” You hadn’t really thought about what you wanted to do with her look. Aside from her outfit of course, but not her makeup or hair. Hell, you hadn’t even planned what you wanted to do with yourself.

“Hm…” You hummed, as you gestured for her to sit down on the toilet. Examining her face and lifting her hair, you tried to determine what would look cool, fit her outfit and what would highlight her face in a way that would bring out her best features.

“You got some red eyeliner, or?” You asked as you got out a hair tie and put her hair up in a messy bun, trying your best to get her bangs out of the way. She sure looked strange without her bangs, but not in a bad way, just unfamiliar. “I think so?” 

Bringing out a makeup wipe, you washed any remains of oil or anything else really off. Then using a light hydrating moisturizer, you started smearing and massaging it into her face. She already had quite the soft cheeks, but hey, you can never get enough cream on your face, right?

Squeezing her cheeks together you snickered, she was so cute with a squished face like that. “Having fun?” She asked, albeit quite muffled as her face was squeezed together by your very own hands. “Very.” You said, letting her face go.

Using another makeup wipe, you washed off your own face and moisturized it. Then a new song started which held a much quicker beat, making you bob back and forth. Looking through the cabinet and drawers for another hair tie you felt someone poke your back. 

“I got one.” Hana said, which was strange because how could she have known what you needed? Shrugging it off, you just took it as a sign that she was some paranormal psychic person that knew what you needed 24/7. Or maybe she saw that you’d pulled your hair back into a pony tail. Either way she got your back.

Taking the hair tie, you put your hair up into yet another messy bun. Time to start putting on Hana’s make up. 

Starting off by applying some primer, you continued with her eyebrows. So, eyebrows weren’t your specialty but damn, you did a great job making Hana’s symmetrical. Then you did a cat eye with red eyeliner and applied some shimmery white eyeshadow in her inner creases and highlighted the red eyeliner by applying some black eyeliner on her lower waterline.

Then you continued with foundation and concealer. You weren’t sure whether she wanted to bake or contour, but determined that she only needed a bit of powder to even out the ‘war paint’. 

After applying a decent amount of powder you started putting some glowing highlighter on her face, and finished off with a deep red lipstick, making sure that the lines were crisp as hell. 

Examining her face, she looked absolutely gorgeous and ready for a night out. Spraying her face with some setting spray, she was almost ready. 

“Done with makeup, for your hair, I’ll just poof it up a bit but try to keep it as natural as possible, alright?” You said as you found a brush and released her hair from the messy bun. “You’re not going to curl it or anything?” She asked, which made you shake your head. 

Keeping it as natural as possible would only make her face and clothes stand out more.

Using some kind of hair powder, you shook her hair making it poof up. You were becoming quite satisfied with her look. In fact, you needed to take a couple pictures of her tonight, she was looking absolutely gorgeous.

As you finished fixing her bangs, you smiled. “All done, you look great!” She stood, studying her look in the mirror. You could hear her voice a little ‘wow’, and you felt pride swell in your chest. Yes, you were great!

Which meant that it was your turn to fix yourself. Almost pushing Hana to the side, you hurriedly put on makeup going with a somewhat smoke-y wing and a bronze eyeshadow. You didn’t really have time to put on lipstick, at least not perfect it, so you only put on a bit of gloss.

“What time is it?” You said as you smacked your lips together. “Shit.” You heard her say, which meant you didn’t have time to finish your look. Quickly brushing through your hair, you saw her hurriedly turn off the speaker and put her phone into her pocket. 

“Put on the black jacket in my closet, the one with a rose on the back, also I’d like the uh…” Maybe you should have made this plan earlier, and not make it so improvised. That way you might have actually been able to finish on time. “Give me the navy blue bomber, the very simple looking one.”

Even if you worked fantastically under pressure, it made you stressed and your pulse fly through the roof. Looking at your hair in the mirror you saw that it was getting a bit electric, which made you sigh. Putting some hair oil on your hands, that smelled like vanilla, you started brushing through the tips with your fingers.

You smelled like exactly like vanilla fudge.

Washing off the remains of the oil and drying your hands, you barely made it out of the room before a jacket was tossed at you. “C’mon we have to go!” She yelled at you, which made you even more stressed. Putting on socks and shoes, you tried to tie them inhumanly fast.

“Okay so, key card, regular cards, cash, gum and phone. Yup, we’re good to go Hana!” You said as you put said contents into your jacket pocket. “Great! Let’s go!” she yelled excitedly.

 

As the cabbie pulled up in front of the club, you saw no one else, not even a line. Which was the norm, considering you were there pretty early. It seemed like Hana couldn’t contain her happiness and almost ran inside past the guard. A quick grab to her back made her stop. 

“You have to show him your ID.” You whispered as you presented the bouncer the backside of your debit card. A look between the card and your face made him grunt in confirmation. Taking a step to the side you entered, and waited for Hana to get in herself.

The bouncer studied the ID and then her, and started asking her some questions. Damn it, was she not going to be let in. If only you could remember the bouncers name. Something with C or T maybe, anyways, you needed to distract him a bit.

As you were still in the ‘out’ part of the club, you could see some people smoking cigarettes. Why people were still smoking those cancer sticks was beyond you but you needed to distract the bouncer a bit, or flirt with him, whatever.

Heading towards one of the tall lanky boys that held a cigarette between his lips, you gave him a flirtatious smile. “Hey.” You all but slurred out, he gave you a look of surprise, almost as if he was confused that you’d start talking to him. “Hey… uh… you.” He replied, and had you not been drunk you wouldn’t have been able to see the blush he suddenly produced.

“Mind sharing?” You asked pointing to the cigarette, which made him shake his head as he fumbled to give you a cigarette. His friends snickered and jammed an elbow into his side. Suggesting that you were indeed hot for him, which you really weren’t. You just needed to help your friend get inside.

“Thanks, see you around.” You said walking off before he could even ask if you needed to light it up. Hana and the bouncer was still talking; she was looking more desperate by the minute. What that particular bouncer had against her, you don’t know, but she’d get in tonight no matter what.

Standing next to the bouncer, you gently touched his bare arm. He turned his head down to look at you, and you broke out into a big smile. “You mind?” You asked as you nodded to the cigarette, which made him almost nod frantically. You sometime underestimated your feminine traits.

Putting the stick between your lips, you took a deep drag. Down into your lungs, hold for a couple seconds and then exhale. “Thanks man, mind letting in my friend? I’ll watch over her, make sure she behaves.” You said as you gave off a little giggle.

He gave a grunt, and let her in. “Thank you so much!” Sending him a wink he turned around to the little queue that’d been forming as Hana had to be examined. Taking another long puff, you held the smoke a lot longer, before tossing it to the ground, stomping on it and heading inside.

Exhaling as you entered the club. Hana looked a bit uncomfortable, and you gave her a shoulder pat. “Don’t worry sweets, you’re here with me, you’ll do alright.” Even if you were 100% comfortable at the moment, you still couldn’t help but worry a bit for her. 

Tonight was about relaxation, and she looked anything but that. 

Heading straight towards the bar, you ordered a beer, out of habit and a glass of water. The water was for you and the beer for her. 

“Holy shit, long-time no see party girl. You still getting into lots of trouble?” The familiar bartender said, and you couldn’t help but feel at home. Tobias was this particular bartenders name, and you knew him pretty well. He’d often get you in through without any wait, give you a couple free drinks here and there, and of course you got to sit in the VIP area.

“You know me, I’m here with some friends, mind it if we take a VIP booth? We’d like to be a bit secluded. You know?” You said as you handed Hana the beer. She scrunched her nose a bit as she smelled the beverage. Yup, beer is not good, but it’s tolerable. Especially if you weren’t getting drunk but needed to ‘drink something alcoholic’.

“Sure thing, we have no one scheduled for the VIP area, you can actually have it, but that means you have to do the ‘thing’.” He said as you ran a hand through your hair. You heard Hana make a disgusted noise, meaning she’d had a sip from the beer. “Don’t worry, I’m planning on staying here pretty much the whole night, I’ll do the ‘thing’.”

Hana stole a sip from your water, washing off the nasty beer taste and then asked you, quite innocently, “What’s the ‘thing’?” To which you almost kissed the top of her head. She was being so cute right now. “Basically I act as a… host? Of sorts? I go around get people to dance, start drinking games, make sure everyone is jolly and spending good money in the bar. Create life basically.”

“So you act as a sort of artificial party goer? Like a friend who’s screaming ‘are you ready?!’ at parties?” She asked you and both Tobias and you nodded. “The ‘thing’. Works pretty well actually.” Hana took another sip of the beer, and gagged a bit.

“Want something else? I have a drink that tastes a whole lot better, and it’s a whole lot stronger.” Tobias asked, which wasn’t even directed at Hana, but to you, as if you were the one that were going to give him the permission to get her wasted.

“We’re going slow tonight, but maybe get us a couple Smirnoff Ice, a strawberry daiquiri and some more water. I’m unfortunately the designated driver tonight.” Tobias gasped loudly, making some of the regulars and early birds turn their head towards the three of you. Hana didn’t like all the attention and linked her arm up with yours.

“No! You’re joking right? I’ve never seen you sober! Are you sure you aren’t even a little tipsy right now?” Tobias said, in disbelief, his look roaming your body. The whole thing only made you laugh, even if you should feel a bit insulted that he assumed you were in a constant intoxicated state. 

“Completely sober, been trying to drink less, my liver looks like absolute shit. I know there’s medicine and all for that, but I’d rather just cut back a little.” You shrugged, as if that was a better excuse than the fact that you were the ‘significant driver’. Maybe it wasn’t Tobias you were trying to convince, maybe it was yourself.

“And here I thought it was because you’d gotten yourself a cute girlfriend. You haven’t even introduced me to your bird! And here I thought you had manners!” He said as he gently smacked your arm. “Ow, fuck, Tobias. I was getting to that, this here, is Hana. The sweetest person on the planet, I’ve probably gotten like 20 cavities since I met her.”

Why weren’t you denying the fact that you were actually not dating? Maybe it was because you didn’t feel the need to, or maybe there was some underlying issue that you’d have yet to deal with?

“We’re not together by the way, but it’s nice to meet you Tobias.” Hana said as she let you go to shake hands with him. “Aw… You’d have made a great couple though, I bet.” Tobias said as he winked and shook Hana’s hand.

“But yea, I’ll be sending those drinks to you soon, Marley’s working today, and you know how they can get.” Ah, yes you did. Marley, albeit that they were a very kind person, they had a habit of ‘over talking’. Which meant that they’d stay at a table for far too long and forget to wait someone else’s.

“At least Jay will start later, I’ll have her work under you, but I hope you got enough pals to make good on her. She needs all the tips she can get, and you know it.” Leading Hana towards the VIP area, which was up a stair case you just waved your hand at him. You knew she needed the tips, and you were going to give it to her. 

“Oh, and if people start asking for me, send them up here. I’ll call for you if I actually don’t want them there. See you!” You said, as you nodded to the guy who guarded the VIP staircase. He was a fucking huge mean-looking man, but you knew that he actually was a total sweetheart.

“Hey Andrew, you’ll be watching over us tonight! Hope you don’t mind a couple drunk heroes here and there.” What the fuck were you saying? He didn’t need to know that you were working for the Overwatch, no one even knew that you had a base here. Fucking moronic, stupid, idiot you.

Luckily he only smiled at you and Hana, he must think you’re drunk as usual. Which was actually in your favour at the time. Almost jumping up the rotating staircase, dragging Hana along, you felt excited. 

The music playing was rather slow, just some background music in your opinion, nothing you could sing along to, or even dance to. Perfect mood for talking, as it wasn’t as loud either. The VIP area consisted of a ‘free bar’ which was actually just two beer taps, a couple glasses, and tap water. But it was enough.

Hopping down on one of the beat up brown couches, you felt more relaxed by the minute. Hana had seated herself next to you, and was sipping away at the beer. Your water which had been ice cold, was slowly warming up, the heat from the club seemed to be rising as more people entered. 

“You alright?” You heard Hana ask, as you sat up straight pushing some stray hairs away from your face. Looking at her, you could see she was halfway through her beer. What you wouldn’t do for just a little sip of the beverage. “Yeah, I’m doing okay. Just a bit hot in here, I’m uh… How are you though? You doing okay?” You asked, trying to shift the focus.

Undressing a bit, aka. Taking off your jacket and tying it around your waist, you studied Hana. She still looked very nervous, as if she’d say something wrong or do something that would wind up with her getting thrown out. “That bouncer… my heart was beating so loudly, I thought I was going to die. And I’ve been held at gun point more times than I can count.”

Chuckling a bit at her response, you rubbed circles into her back. “Don’t mind him alright? You’re here with me, and you already know the bartender. You’ve already managed to follow two rules perfectly. Four in fact.” She looked a bit confused at you and furrowed her brows. “What rules?”

“Oh dear, I’ll have to explain them don’t I?” You said, as you smiled and took a long sip of your water. “So when you go out there are certain rules you got to follow in order for things not to go to absolute hell. Rule one is having a drinking buddy. You know, never drink alone and all that.” 

Looking down in the bar area, you still didn’t spot any familiar faces, well except for Tobias and Marley who seemed to be slowly making their way towards the VIP area with drinks. “Rule number two, wear something fashionable, yet comfortable. Which we definitely are, I made sure of that. Then rule number three get to know your bartender, servers and bouncers. They can help you out of difficult situations. Lastly, rule number four, always have a glass of water with your beer.” 

Lifting your glass of water and shaking it a bit, yet not spilling it. “There are of course more rules, but those are well, the most basic rules there are? Safety and fun, all that jazz.” Hana nodded and took another sip of the beer. God, it looked so delicious… Maybe you should ask Hana about having just one glass?

Wait, why did you need her approval to drink? You were an adult, and you were older than her. Plus, you’ve had more to drink in your life than she probably ever will. Just one beer or something couldn’t hurt? Right?

Up came Marley, on his tray were your drinks. A strawberry daiquiri and five Smirnoff ice. “Hey Marley, anyone come asking for me yet? I’m expecting a couple friends.” You said, as you smiled at them. They gave you their award winning smile back as they set down your drinks.

“Oh yea, three cute ladies, they’re just downstairs ordering. They’re coming up soon though. By the way, how are you? I haven’t seen you in forever! I also heard that you’re going sober tonight or whatever? Honestly, it’s not like you’re an alcoholic or anything, if anything I’d call you eccentric. And who’s this, and why have you not introduced me to her yet!?”

Sharing a look with Hana, as if to tell her ‘I told you so’, you just smiled at Marley. “I’m doing eh… so-so? Been kind of busy with work and all, you know the drill. I’m trying my best to stay sober tonight yeah, and this here’s Hana, my friend.” You said as you took a hold of the drinks before Marley spilled them everywhere.

Placing them on top of the table, you kind of took the Strawberry Daiquiri for yourself. Now, you realize it is an alcoholic beverage, however, there’s not a lot of alcohol in there. Besides, you could just tell people it’s non-alcoholic. It’s not like people would get angry with you or anything, besides, you were only going to have one.

“Holy… shit.” You heard Marley mouth as they jumped back and pointed to Hana. “D.Va?! I’m your biggest fan! I try to watch all of your livestreams, oh my god! Which means that… The ladies’ downstairs!” Marley looked absolutely star struck, which made you almost scream inwardly. 

You’d hoped no one would have recognized them, but no, the biggest blabber mouth in the whole town knew. “Nice to meet you Marley!” Hana said, suddenly looking comfortable for the first time during the evening. Apparently meeting fans made her put on a persona, or she just felt a lot better knowing someone she didn’t know liked her. Who knows?

They shook hands and Marley instantly took out their phone for a selfie. Well, fuck. Your heart was in your throat, if someone got a look of you and Hana, you’d be royally fucked. “Not to be rude or anything Marley, but D.Va is not taking pictures with anyone tonight. Not to be rude or anything, but it’s for security reasons.” You said, trying to get them to lower their phone.

“Oh really?! Is it some kind of secret mission or anything? Or just a hang out?!” Marley all but screamed, which made you hush them. “No. We just can’t have people flocking here, alright? As a hero, she’d endanger everyone in this club if any enemies were present. It’s not like she’s armed at the moment, right? So, keep it down or we’ll be forced to leave.”

Marley made a fake zipper gesture and ‘tossed’ the ‘keys’. “My lips are sealed, I’m so sorry, my shift ends in like 45 minutes, could I have an autograph instead? I’ll go fetch a napkin and a pen!” Marley said as they left, and you were forever grateful of your ability to convince people. Eh, some people at times at least.

Taking a hold of the strawberry daiquiri, you started sipping away. Hana didn’t seem to notice that it contained any alcohol, or she let you go with it, either way, you got your little pleasant buzz no matter what.

Hana took a long last chug of the beer, and let out a shaky breath, before grabbing one of the Smirnoff Ice’s. “That one tastes a lot better, you can never go wrong with that. I’ve never actually been able to hate that liquor, even if I’ve puked it out in a bush. Smirnoff Ice is something you can never grow tired of.” You said smiling, as Hana didn’t make a grimace at the flavour of it.

While she was enjoying the much gentler drink, you were already halfway through your own. If only you hadn’t gotten a brain freeze from drinking too fast. Cursing a bit and holding your head, you heard people moving up the staircase. Not bothering to look up as you held your head, you heard a couple greetings.

Giving a small wave, you felt someone sit down next to you. “You alright?” You heard Pharah ask you, and you looked continued to look at your feet. “Brain freeze. It happens.” She burst into laughter, which seemed to be contagious as laughter and giggles erupted around the table. 

“That’s what happens when you drink slush too fast. It’s non-alcoholic right?” You heard Angela ask and you only gave her a thumbs up. It wasn’t non-alcoholic, but you were only having one, so what did it matter. But it was pretty good though, you might have a bit more. Not much of course, maybe one more.

As you look up, you saw Angela and Symmetra seated across from you, Pharah being the one who sat down on your left. They each had their own drink, Pharah a beer, Angela a long island ice tea, and Symmetra a simple martini. You wish you could look as cultivated as her as she sipped away at the beverage, but the drink hadn’t really fallen in your taste.

Appletinis however, they were more your pace.

“You guys waited long?” Pharah asked as she took a swig of her drink. No, not really, you’d been at the club early. Looking at your phone you saw a couple notifications, mostly from old friends sending you blank snaps, just to keep your ongoing streaks. You don’t even know how you’ve managed to keep a streak alive for six years, but apparently you’d managed. Incredible.

“It’s only been like five minutes since we were supposed to meet up though.” You said, somewhat gruffly. Maybe you ought to lighten up a bit? Sending a picture of yourself and the drink on snapchat, you got instant replies. ‘Oh my god, you’re so pretty! We need to meet up soon!’ – yeah maybe, if you got time off and felt like it.

“Oh really? I thought we were late, considering both Angie and Satya rushed me. You guys see?!” Pharah grumbled as she chugged away at her beer. “It’s called being punctual, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Symmetra said as she sipped at her martini. She looked so… in touch with that drink, as though it fit her personality perfectly. Professional and mature.

Hana still seemed a bit drawn back, but hey, that’s what alcohol was for. “You know if any of the boys are heading on over, or is it going to turn into a girl’s night out?” Pharah asked as you took another sip of your ‘non-alcoholic’ slush.

“Lucio’s definitely coming, don’t know about the rest, I’ve only been getting like ‘nice’ messages back and ‘understood’ for some reason. Isn’t that how you copy each other on your com links? I don’t know, my goal isn’t getting people to come, but to have fun and relax, you know?” You said as several nodded.

 

So, here you were, drinking with four heroes of Overwatch. Could life get any more interesting? Well yeah, it could, you could be bombarded with a lot more heroes. Which you were currently being. 

Lucio, Zarya, Mei, McCree, Hanzo, Ana, Reinhardt, the whole gang you know? Each creating life with their energy.

The music went from just background music to something you actually recognized. Everyone spread out across the VIP area, with each their own drinks. You quickly downed the remains of your daiquiri, and rose from your seat stretching. 

“Hana, you okay with those or do you want some more?” You asked as you were going to head downstairs and join the two drunken girls dancing in the middle of the club. Shaking her head, you gave her a wave, greeted several of your bosses, and walked down the flight of stairs.

Heading directly towards the bar, you saw Tobias happily chatting with a customer. Maybe you should have one shot? You wouldn’t get drunk from one shot, right? Plus, you’d need to do the ‘thing’, which meant you needed some liquid courage.

You were out, there was no need for you to not drink, right? It’s not like you were anyone’s actual driver or anything. Walking up to the counter, right between two girls with too much makeup, uncomfortable clothes and bad hair do’s, who apparently didn’t like you butting in. 

“Hey, we were in the middle of something!” One of them announced loudly, which made you turn your head, giving her a look over. Yeah, she looked cheap, you could use this to your advantage. Maybe you could go through with your plan after all?

“Oh I’m so sorry, you know what, let me buy you girls some drinks. I love your dresses!” Wow, you couldn’t sound more fake. You mentally cringed, but hoped that they’d take the bait. Which they absolutely did.

“Fine, but not beer. That’s a calorie bomb and you’ll get so fat from it.” You heard the other girl agree and you mentally noted that you were lucky you weren’t attracted to these dimwits. But they were fine enough, maybe if you got to know them they wouldn’t be so disgustingly trashy?

“Tobias, could we get three glasses and a jaeger? The whole bottle? Turns out I’m not driving tonight.” You said, as he narrowed his eyes at you. “One of my friends could drive Hana and I back to my apartment don’t worry. Plus, I need some of that sweet, sweet alcohol to do the ‘thing’.” 

The girls shared a look, “What ‘thing’?” they asked, and you just smiled. “Oh you know, flirt my way into the VIP area. Heard there are some major hotties there tonight, you can’t miss it. If I get in, I’ll try my best to get you two in as well.” You winked as Andrew handed you the drink and glasses.

“You think you can get in there? Hah! It’s so exclusive, we’ve been trying to get in there for weeks! Like you can just waltz in there.” You shrugged, as you paid for your drinks. “I’ve managed just fine before. Believe me, it’s a whole different scene up there or whatever.” 

Pouring the girls a shot each, and one for yourself, you said a quiet ‘cheers’ before downing it. The jaeger burned as it made its way down your throat. Damn, it’d been so long since you’d last had Jägermeister. You honestly shouldn’t be wasting the fine beverage on these ‘uggos’ and enjoy it yourself. 

Alas, you poured everyone a new shot. Before you completely lost it and brought it to your lips. Some guys that had noticed you chugging down the liquor suddenly started yelling “Chug, chug, chug!” Which was your plan exactly. It’s not like it was a big bottle or anything, but oh hell did it burn as it made its way down into your stomach.

Some of it was pouring out the sides of your mouth, which you tried your best to desperately dry off as you continued to down the drink. As you felt the last sip being consumed, you slammed the empty jaeger bottle down on the counter, before yelling out a loud cheer among the guys who’d been cheering you on.

A nauseous sensation made its way into your stomach and throat, and you could already feel your stomach churning. You denied your body that satisfaction and perfectly ignored it. Tobias, who’d been staring at you, a bit amazed that you’d managed to actually finish the whole damn bottle, handed you a wet napkin to wash off the liquor.

“Thank you Toby, my man.” You made some finger guns, and washed off your face, neck and hands, before leaning over the counter and tossing the used up napkin into the trash. Of course you knew where it was, you’d been here so many times. 

Leaving the girls, who’d started jealously talking about how much attention you’d gotten from the guys, you headed straight towards the dancefloor. 

Acquainting yourself with the two drunk girls, by smiling like an idiot at them and hugging them, the three of you started jumping up and down to the beats. 

In the matter of minutes, more people had joined in on your little jumpy dance, about a dozen was dancing away on the dance floor, and more people seemed to be joining in. Which meant that your job was done.

 

Smiling at Andrew, he let you walk up the stairs. The environment downstairs was so different compared to the one upstairs. The atmosphere was much calmer, people were talking, laughing. Not really the mood you were looking for, but you’d shift it in time.

For now, you needed to make sure Hana was doing alright. Which you did by seating yourself on her lap and messing her hair up a bit. She looked absolutely flustered and you heard Angela giggle at the two of you.

“How are you doing sweets?” You asked, as you fixed the hair that you’d ruffled. “You enjoying yourself?” Hana who luckily hadn’t been holding any sort of drink as you’d seated yourself, only looked confused at you. Why were you suddenly behaving like this, so cuddly?

Well… Alcohol for starters, but she didn’t know that.

“There’s nothing like dancing to get your adrenaline pumping, you know!” You told her, hopefully making her believe that it was in fact the fact that you were excited and not that you’d downed a bottle of Jägermeister that made you this way. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m doing alright. I finished two bottles, but like I don’t know, I’m pretty tired.” She said as she yawned, what, you’d only been here for half an hour or something. “Marley!” You called out, and they came to you in an instant. “Energy drinks?” You smiled at them, and they practically ran to get your order.

Seemed like the thing to get Marley to shut up and run was heroes. Cool, good to know.

You rose from your previous padded seat, aka. Hana’s lap and joined in on the table where Ana, Reinhardt, McCree and Hanzo seemed to be doing shots. Scooting up a chair right next to Ana, you felt a dopey grin make its way to your face. Not like you could stop it, but at least maybe you shouldn’t look anyone in their eyes for the time being.

“Dear, you want to join in?” Ana said as she downed yet another shot. “Sure, what are we playing?” You asked as you looked up, and ruffled your hair. “We’re not really playing any drinking games, but if you want to do one-” Ana started and you interrupted her.

“Never have I ever! It’s been years!” You practically yelled, you were too excited for your own good, and regained your composure. Damn, you were tipsy, maybe you shouldn’t join them?

“Wow, ya love those childish games don’t ya? Gotta admit though, never actually played it.” McCree said as he poured himself some more alcohol. What you weren’t sure, but who were you to judge. Right now, you just wanted to have fun, which you were going to be doing.

“Yeah, there’s a reason why young people play these games, because it’s fun!” You laughed loudly, as Ana narrowed her eyes at you. Shit, she was on to you, maybe you ought to tone it down a little bit. “Oh man, I really can’t handle energy drinks. Makes me jumpy.” You said, attempting to play it off as a burst of energy.

For some idiotic reason it seemed to satisfy Ana, as she handed you something that smelled strongly of sour apples. “Never have I ever…” You started, speaking before actually thinking of something, “Uh…” Shit you always spoke too soon didn’t you.

“Kissed a stranger?” You said, as you heard McCree boo you. Yeah it was a shitty one, but who knows maybe you were just doing that round as an ‘everybody drinks’- round. Everyone but Reinhardt took a shot, which made you look at him. That was actually a bit sweet?

“Never have I ever… sucked dick.” You said, as Ana and you took a shot each. You’d actually somewhat suspected McCree to comment on it, or take a shot himself, who knows, something about him screamed bisexual or pansexual, whatever, you weren’t one to judge too hard.

“Never have I ever… been hungover during a mission.” Oh boy, finally you were getting into the tasty details. Everyone took a shot, which made both Ana and Reinhardt give you a strange look. Right, they didn’t know about the 5-308 side of you… Yup, you definitely needed to explain that one a bit.

“So, back when I trained the recruits, we were going on this ‘fake mission’ see. You could say it was an actual mission, considering we actually got shot at. Who knew that there’d been scheduled two ‘fake missions’ at the same date and location, not me, the fucking commander. We’d not been informed, and it hadn’t even been scheduled. And the day before I’d gone out and celebrated my… superior commander’s birthday.”

At least no one knew that it was your ex but you, but mentioning him while you were drunk tended to make you a bit emotional. You wanted to forget all about him, forever and ever.

“Anyways, ended up getting shot right in my left ass cheek because of that, I still have a scar. Wasn’t even the other commander’s recruits that shot me, it was my own. Never let my recruits have actual ammunition for fake missions after that. Fuck.” You said as you downed your… something shot?

Reinhardt laughed heartily at your story, Ana joining in, McCree snickering, hell, even Hanzo looked somewhat amused. Apparently a story about getting shot in your ass was amusing. Well, it sort of was actually.

“Okay, so I got one,” McCree started, as he dried a fake tear, “Never have I ever attempted to hook up with two people at once.” Shoot, you thought you’d get no additional drama. Fuck, this meant that he knew, this meant that your plan was spoiled.

“We’ve all been there!” Ana said as she downed a shot, McCree joining in. Well, technically speaking you weren’t hooking up with anyone, as it was pretty one-sided. So, technically, you weren’t in any trouble. 

“Are you not going to drink?” Hanzo said as he scowled at you, which made you tense up a bit. What could you do? Puke, excuse yourself, or maybe tell another story? “Well, he said two people, and I’ve never attempted to hook up with only two people at once.” You said with a wink, leaving the conversation and them.

Fuck, that was so stupid. Taking a quick scan around the room it looked as though Hana had gotten her energy drinks, as she regained her composure. She was no longer slumping, but excitedly joining in on conversations. You were proud of her, she looked like she was having a lot of fun. Which, in your book, was pretty good.

They weren’t as drunk as you wanted them to be, but the night was still pretty young. Walking downstairs, you slipped at the last step, luckily Andrew managed to grab you just before you bet your demise. Endlessly thanking him from saving your ass and your ‘life’, you could see a smile making its way on his face. Which suited him more than the scowl he tended to hold.

It was time to relieve some stress, time to dance.

Just as a new song began, they dimmed the lights, and some strobe like lights started, meaning that it was already eleven. How had time passed so fast? You weren’t even sure, but you needed to dance for a bit.

 

Jumping a bit, shaking your hips, moving to the rhythm.

 

This was your element.

 

Intoxicated people, moving back and forth.

 

For some strange reason you felt comfortable.

 

In this mass of people, you were completely relaxed

 

You were too drunk and too happy to care.

 

Until someone decided to ruin your fun, by joining in on your moment of euphoria. A hard grab at your ass, and you felt obliged to hit whoever that person was. Turning around you noticed the lanky dude you’d gotten a smoke from. Huh, he was finally drunk enough to make a pass at you.

Maybe you’d actually amuse him and his friends a bit, you were actually too drunk to care at this point. He’d leave you after you’d given him some sort of feedback. Which was putting his hands on your hips as you swung them from side to side. 

A furious blush spread across his cheeks, you could notice even in this light. Then you pressed your chest against him, which made his friends furious. Not at you, but because he was getting some sweet tail and they weren’t. 

Exactly what you wanted to happen, happened. His friends dragged him off, jealous that he’d actually gotten someone to dance with him, at least for a little while.

You only laughed and moved a bit further into the crowd to avoid him and his friends as you continued dancing alone.

 

And you’d been so close to reaching that feeling of pure relaxation until those two girls from earlier joined your circle. One of them pulled your hair a little to get your attention and lean in so they could talk to you. “I saw you up there! How did you get in?!” One of them practically yelled into your ear.

Yeah, that’s right. You weren’t actually doing this to relax and have fun, you were doing this to get out of two bad relationships. Three, had Genji only shown up. Maybe he was having a lot of fun with your brother back at base. God, you wish.

All you wanted to do right now was either continue to dance or have a half decent meal and curl up on the couch or in your bed. But here you were, going through with an absolutely insane plan. Maybe you should leave soon?

“I’ll get the two of you in, there’s this guy with a hot tattoo and this other guy, oh my god they are so fucking hot. But leave the guy with the dreads alone though, he’s mine.” But alas, you were going through with it, no matter what.

Dragging the two along, you shared a look with Andrew, and he almost looked at you apologetically as you sent the two of them upstairs. “I’m going to get some air, mind if I go into the back alley?” You asked as he shook his head.

 

Ah, here you were yet again, in a back alley. Luckily you were alone this time, and only to draw some air in solitude, but it didn’t mean that you felt much better.

Had you made a huge mistake? Only time could tell. 

Fooling around with your phone, you sent a couple messages. One to Hana, telling her you were outside to get some air, but only in the back alley, and that she could ask Andrew, the VIP guard if she needed help navigating. 

‘Hey sis, how are you doing? I’m actually having a lot of fun back at base, we’re watching bad comedies now. Efi and Orisa wanted to know that you’re a pretty cool person, I may or may not have told them about the time you sported a leather jacket and rode an old fashioned motorcycle. And shown them pictures… Be safe, see you soon.’

Oh wow, you’d completely forgotten about that period in your life. 21 years old, ready for the world. Boy, you felt so fucking cool, but you probably looked like the biggest dork you’d ever seen. Your mom hated the motorcycle so much, however, your dad loved the thing.

She’d go on and on about the dangers of driving one, while your dad would try to calm her, tell her how safe you were being, that you weren’t taking any risks. One time, the road had been wet, the bike had slipped and you’d broken a leg. 

Even if you thought your mom would have been the one to start crying, it was your dad. When he’d been called about there being an accident, he thought you’d died. You never rode the thing again, letting it dust up in the garage.

You missed them. 

You missed them so much.

But no, you weren’t going to cry now. Even if you wanted to. Crying would do you no good, it wouldn’t ever bring them back. They were dead, they’d remain dead. There wasn’t a whole lot you could do about it.

This is why you’d punch anyone if they even suggested driving in an intoxicated state. Your parents might’ve been alive today had it not been for the fact that this one very selfish and moronic driver decided to drive his truck after drinking his ass off with ‘the boys’.

Pulling at your hair, you felt so many things at once.

A wave of emotions made its way through your body.

Sending off a loud cry, you hit the brick wall.

Only to wince and whimper in pain.

Fuck, you were stupid.

Not only where you upset now, but you’d hurt your hand. Quite a bit in fact, not that you’d broken anything, but it was throbbing in pain. 

“Fucking piece of shit, I hate you so much!” You yelled loudly, at no one in particular, or to everyone in the world, including yourself. There was just so much anger and aggression in you, there was also sadness, and to hell with it, now you knew that alcohol couldn’t even make you forget and make you feel better.

Nothing really could. You could only grow from it, gain experience and move on. You see, that painful memory will always be there, to the day you die. But, after a while, you won’t mind it as much, it won’t hurt as much as it used to, and in the end you’ll feel silly for even worrying about that when there’s so much beauty in the world.

Because there is. The compassion between humans, omnics and animals. Somehow we all manage to care for each other, even if we tend to forget about it at times. There’s always someone out there that’ll want to help you, that’s just the way it is.

Sending your brother back a text that you were fine, that you felt a bit embarrassed about your edgy photos and telling him about your night, you sent him a ‘be safe’ at the end of your text. 

He sent back a pic of himself with Efi and Orisa sleeping in the background. It was a sweet image, in fact it’s the cutest thing you’ve seen in a long time. Pure as shit, you sent back lots of hearts and told him to bring a mattress or something for Efi so she wouldn’t hurt her back.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll wake Orisa in a bit and get them to their rooms’. Your heart swelled, and you felt yourself yet again involuntarily smile. 

“Ya okay babe?” 

McCree’s voice startled you and you jumped back, assuming a defensive position. This made him chuckle and put up his hands defensively. “It’s only me, no need to fight.” He said giving you a wicked grin. You could smell the alcohol two meters away. Either he’d spilt some vodka on himself or he was sopping drunk.

“Yeah, just needed some air.” You said, as you sat down on a wooden crate, conveniently placed in the back alley for the employees to sit on and take smoke breaks. Maybe you needed a smoke as well? No, you were many things, but a living ash tray, was not one of them.

“Uh-huh.” You heard him voice as he lit up a cigarette. “Fucking hate cigarettes, but there ain’t no half decent cigar shop nearby. I’m going to lose it if I can’t get somethin’ soon.” He said putting the cancer stick between his lips and taking a long drag.

“I wouldn’t know; I don’t really smoke.” You said, as you hoped a breeze would let the cigarette smoke fly off in a different direction. “Would have guessed as much. But really, I don’t know ya that well.” He said, as he dabbed off some excess ash that’d formed, rather quickly actually.

“’Specially after the stunt ya attempted to pull tonight. Ya think I’m that cheap?” He asked as he pulled up another crate, only to seat himself in front of you. Shit, he’d known the entire time, hadn’t he? An apparent sweat was starting to form; you could feel it in your body.

“What do you mean?” You asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible. He took another drag, breathing out and blowing smoke almost right in your face. Feeling as though you were about to cough and puke, you tried your best not to, as it’d be considered rude.

“Sending those two girls after me.” He clicked his tongue, “What do ya take me for? I’m a different man now, I’m not looking for just a one-night stand.” Damn, okay. Hana had been right, your plans only succeeded because of luck, and tonight… You’d broken mirrors, stepped under several ladders and jumped on cracks all night long.

“Testing me like that, babe. Ya sure know how t’ make yourself interesting.” Wait… Testing?  
“I’ve changed, all for ya. Not going to walk around this shit, I like ya, and I know ya like me as well. So what are we even doin’?”

When had you ever implied that you liked him?

“Wait what? What do you mean?” You asked, almost rising to your feet. “Playin’ innocent. That’s sweet, but I know ya ain’t as innocent as ya lead on. Kinda low of ya to play with Hanzo’s feelings like that. He’s a broken man, don’t need ya to fuck him up even more.”

Was he implying that you’d come on to Hanzo? What the literal fuck was going on?

“You think… That I like Hanzo?” You asked, as McCree roared with laughter. He tossed the cigarette to the side, slapped his knee a couple times, and looked up at you. “Of course ya don’t, he treats ya like shit! ‘sides, I know ya like me.”

“Okay so, maybe it’s time I confessed something.” You said as you gingerly rubbed your neck. This was not going to be easy. “We don’t know each other McCree- “ 

“Jesse. Ya can call me Jesse, babe.”

“Jesse…”

At that he only seemed to look happier, and damn it, you were going to break someone’s heart tonight. Which you absolutely didn’t feel like doing, but it was necessary. Or was it? Maybe you’d actually be happy with him once you got to know him a bit better? Or maybe you’d be happy with Hanzo? Maybe even Genji?

But you didn’t even feel like thinking about that at the moment, right now you had to confess something to McCree, eh… Jesse.

“For starters, we don’t know each other, how can you even like me?” 

He took your right hand into his, and rubbed circles with his thumb. His metal hand made its way to your face, holding beneath your chin, tilting it up a bit. “Isn’t that part of the fun though? That we get to know each other? At least that’s what I think.”

That was… kind of true actually. What harm would come from dating someone only to find out that you weren’t really compatible afterwards? Well, a little certainly, but it’s not like you couldn’t just break up if either of you didn’t actually like each other. What was the harm?

“Then there’s the fact that I’m…” What are you? Why are you even arguing with him? Why the fuck are you denying yourself something that could make you happy? Are you really such a nihilist, such a sadist, that you’re not even letting yourself have one thing that could make you feel better in life.

“Ya are?” He asked, and you were at a loss of words. Where had you even been trying to go with this conversation? You were completely blank; you didn’t know what to say.

“I’m not sure.”

“Not sure about what, babe?” He asked, as if he held the easiest answer in the world. But in reality, you were so confused and emotional you didn’t even really know where to begin.

“A lot of things. I mean, this all seem so rushed, out of nowhere. Then there’s the fact that I’m barely getting over things when it comes to all the shit I’ve been through and I don’t know. I’m just so fucking confused, I can’t do anything right, I just, don’t want anything right now, I don’t want to do anything at all.”

When had you started crying? You were just tired, frustrated and confused. You hadn’t asked for any of this, you hadn’t asked to be made. You just barely grasped on the ends of life and hoped for the best. But you could no longer just hope for that, you needed to be in control of your life.

What was the fucking point though? You’ve always let other people tell you what to do, and the moment you weren’t in control of your own life, you’d fled right into the military. Let them take control, let them run shit.

You couldn’t even consider yourself an adult at this point. You weren’t mature, you made terrible choices and decisions on your own, and you made stupid schemes that were so easy to see through and fuck.

 

The song inside of the club turned into a slow one, a soppy and sad one. Just the right music to fit this mood. Jesse brushed away the tears which were running down your face, and you should praise past you for buying waterproof makeup.

But as of right now, everything hurt too much.

“I mean I’m just, me. And I fucking suck! I’m not… Not even in control now, I can’t even make my mind up about this stupid thing and just. Fuck, I’m so confused I just hate myself and everything about me!” You yelled, even if there was no need to. Jesse was right there, just like he’d been for you, so many times before.

“I know there’s a lot on yer plate right now, babe. But it’s not going to start hurtin’ less unless ya tell me what’s goin’ on. Let me know what’s happening, ya ain’t just a prop, not just a doll. No one’s goin’ to decide anything for ya. Tell me what yer thinking about.”

How easy for him to just say that. That you just needed to tell him your troubles and they’d go away. Life isn’t that easy.

Pulling you close, you absentmindedly put your hands around his neck and started sobbing. He let you cry, rubbing your back. How long had it been since someone held you like this? Hana had let you, but you were best friends, that’s what they did… right?

He gave you gentle, sweet kisses on top of your head, and you could tell, that it wasn’t actually him who reeked of alcohol, but you. You were the one who was sopping drunk, which made sense since you actually dared cry into someone like this.

“I’ve seen so much hell, but that’s not even the worst part, I just… I lost the two people who I felt I could actually talk to about these sorts of things. I miss them every day, I can’t do anything without them, and everything, there’s just so much I want to talk to them about. I wish I held them one last time, like this, and told them I loved them.”

Jesse just held you close, giving you more feather light kisses, it felt good. Felt like you didn’t need to worry about so much, that he was there for you.

“I miss them, so fucking much. They were my family, and just… I still have my brother, but we don’t talk about shit like this. It lifts my spirit to know he’s safe, but I don’t have any sort of relief, and just, alcohol. This damned fucking intoxicating bullshit, makes me feel good for ten minutes until it sends me into a spiral, an evil circle.”

You had quit drinking, you’d quit and here you were sopping drunk. Not being able to handle yourself when you’d not even been offered. You’d just been close by, and you’d drank, a lot. 

“Then there’s just all these confusing shit, like ‘who will you choose?!’, why do I have to choose anyone. Why can’t I just be left to myself to rot? Maybe that’s what I want, to just die, perish without anyone knowing. Maybe all this pain would be gone then? I’ve thought about it so many times, how much easier it’d be to just die. Then I get scared shitless by the fact that I wouldn’t exist anymore and that I’d be disappointing everyone.”

When had you wanted to die? For a long time, but it was strange saying it out loud, you’d never told anyone, hell, not even your parents. You’d certainly not told your therapist.

“What does it matter anyways? I’ll die someday, maybe of old age, some random sickness, maybe I’ll be shot, who knows, life is unpredictable like that! I just know that I don’t want to suffer anymore and I’ll cling and claw at whatever makes me feel better. I need something to make me feel good again.”

Jesse held you tighter in your embrace. As he pulled some of your hair behind your ear you just couldn't help yourself. For the first time in forever, someone was actually listening to you. Someone was finally hearing all your struggles, someone you weren't worried would send your ass off into therapy, or even attempt to perform some kind of weird therapeutic shit on you.

"I'm just so tired of it all, I want to have something normal, something consistent. But every time I get that life just takes it away from me." Like your dear sweet Roomba, "Living is so... painful. I just need... something."

"Babe, life is shit and it ain't worth livin' most of the time. But there are just these, moments that happen, memories that are made and these wonderful people that ya meet, that makes it all worth it. When you called me out on my One Night Stand bullshit, it felt like a freakin’ revelation. Ya gave my life meaning, ya shook me deep in my soul and suddenly I just knew that I had to be close to ya."

Had it really felt like a revelation to get yelled at by you when you were so aggressive? You highly doubted it, because who in the hell would have a sudden epiphany to just change after getting yelled at? You wouldn't, you'd just wallow in self-pity and hope for the best. Which tended not to come.

"Made me realize, that ya don't have to be alone." Oh what a beautiful sentence that was, but how fake it felt. He could love you with all his heart, but to you it would still not feel any more real.

"Words are just words Jesse, they have no meaning unless you have some kind of action behind it." At that he gave you a gentle, genuine smile, something you thought impossible for him. But there it was, and it was marvellous.

"Ya ain't in no state for me proving that I truly do love ya. So for now, I'll just hold ya close, and listen to yer problems. Because that's what you need"

At that you gave off a gentle laugh, you truly just needed someone you could tell everything to. It felt good knowing someone cared about you, that someone wanted to be good to you. Most people didn’t care about you, most people didn’t think much of you, just seeing an average woman working.

“I think… I should leave Overwatch soon.” You said as you saw McCree shift to look down at you. He looked a bit hurt by your words, but he must’ve understood as he nodded. “Ya do what ya need to do babe. Anything that’ll make ya feel better, right? If Overwatch is hurtin’ ya, ya don’t need it.”

Sighing loudly, it felt like the atmosphere shifted, that it was finally his turn to let something heavy and emotional out. “I didn’t realize back then, thought I was doing God’s work, or whatever. ‘Yer with Overwatch, they don’t do nothin’ wrong!’. Tell that t’ Blackwatch. One of the biggest mistakes of my life.”

Blackwatch? You’d never heard of Blackwatch, although that might be because you had never actually been particularly interested in Overwatch. Even though it’d been part of the school curriculum after a while, you’d kind of just decided to forget all about it after the tests and papers. Some of it had been done involuntarily though, there was a lot you felt yourself forgetting from time to time.

“Second biggest was probably joining Deadlock,” He said voice filled with anger, frustration and hate. Spitting on the ground as if it’d left a bad taste in his mouth he continued, “Third biggest mistake, not helping my ma enough. Though I was pretty young, I probably could’ve done somethin’.”

Deadlock, that gang in Dorado?! You’d been there, you’d seen the horrors. A bubbling sensation filled your guts and you felt the stomach acid flaring. God, you needed to vomit, but not right now, you needed to listen.

What did he even mean by something, did he mean vacuum around the house? No, it seemed to be deeper.

“I was just like ya in my twenties. Well, not exactly, I was far worse. But I didn’t feel any joy, there was just a lot of anger. Blackwatch used that as fuel t’ do some… God awful shit towards people. Not like they didn’t deserve it, believe me, they did. Just that, I wish I hadn’t been the one who’d actually had to do it. Gabe told me, that if I wasn’t the one to do it, hell even Genji, that he’d have to send twenty incompetent losers that would die.”

Whoever this Gabe person was, he unfortunately reminded you of your ex. Using guilt and blame as an excuse to keep you there. When in reality, they were just as competent as you, you were just so damn lucky all the time.

Humming, you tried to acknowledge that you were in fact listening to him talk. It was nice, sitting in someone’s lap like this, especially when he was almost radiating warmth. Even if you had a jacket tied around your waist, that you probably should put on, you weren’t going to bother.

The air was cool, you were probably freezing, probably just feeling numb because of the alcohol making its way through your system. He’d dropped the boots, serape and most of his armour, yet still wearing his goddamn hat. It was actually a bit endearing now that you think about it. How invested he was to this cowboy persona.

“Took a toll on me when Blackwatch died and Overwatch… did something similar. I had nowhere to go, nothing to do. I was still a wanted man, so what the fuck do I do? Travel around the world as this idiot vigilante, looking for a place where no one would actually care about who I am, who I was.”

That’s actually what you’d considered when you’d been dismissed from the military. Travel, see some new sights, hope that there wasn’t anyone there that’d recognize you. Wow, you actually had a lot of shit in common with him, now that you think about it?

“But it didn’t really help my situation. Got some experience, was less angry, but it only felt as I was running further and further away from my problems. Which I indeed was, I just didn’t feel like facing them. Battling your demons is a bitch, especially if they’re a living bitch. I’m not going to get into the details, I’m just, so tired of it.”

Weren’t we all? Nuzzling into the crook of his neck, you could feel his smell. How this man could smell so damn good was beyond you, he just did. He was tired, just like you. Mentally, emotionally and physically tired. 

“Asked myself many times, ‘when’s things going to get good again?’. ‘When am I finally going to feel good?’. Led to a lot of sleeping around with floozies, not like the ones you tried to push on me, I do have a bit of standard.” This only made you giggle, you had a feeling. If they annoyed you, why wouldn’t they be annoying the rest of the world?

“I don’t know; I just wasn’t sure that I’d find someone that’d actually make me feel… good? Like actually good. Whenever yer there, it feels like… I’m really bad at this metaphorical shit, but it’s like returning home, safe and sound. That’s how ya feel, safe, warm.”

That’s… Nice, you suppose. That someone feels safe around you, like something familiar, like home. It was something you’d longed for, for such a long time. Your parent's house didn’t feel like home, not without them in it. You’d sold it as your brother had inherited the cars and boat. 

Of course he’d agreed to it, but you’d have sold it regardless. Too painful for you to return to. The military base hadn’t felt like home, it’d felt temporary, the base didn’t feel like home, it felt like you were just a visitor, just a guest. There wasn’t a place you’d actually felt like you were truly at home.

“For the first time in what feels like forever, there’s actually someone that makes me want to get out of bed. There’s actually someone that makes me want to face another day, to actually participate in my own life, make me want to take control of my own life.”

He was telling you things that just… resonated with you. Everything he’d just said was exactly what you wanted. A reason to live.

 

“You’re… what makes life worth it.”

 

Your heart was beating loudly, almost bursting out of your chest. A familiar warm sensation was filling your cheeks, everything was so damn warm and your head felt so light. Either you were falling for him or you were dying.

“But I know yer not ready to date yet. I’m not goin’ to push ya into something ya don’t want. I love… like ya far too much to do somethin’ like that. Ya have things to work out, and I’ll be there, every step of the way. I’ll do anything for ya babe, I’ll show ya that there’s good in the world.”

Why the fuck were you so sweaty?

“I’m very tired.” You said, although it must’ve come out as a slur as you almost didn’t even recognize the words. “Shit, ya okay? Babe?” Yeah, no, you weren’t okay. You were too drunk.

Pushing Jesse off of you, you barely managed to puke on yourself and him. Tonight you were luckier than you thought. Fuck, you were pathetic. Pulling your hair back, you winced as more stomach acid forced its way out of your mouth.

“Fucking piece of shit alcohol bullshit.” You cursed as you continued to hurl, almost shivering from the whole deal. It was barely past midnight. Hearing Jesse shift, he was probably leaving you alone to puke yourself out. That’s kind of what you expected, most people would just leave you to get yourself back together.

The sour taste in your mouth disgusted you, the back of your throat felt like it was being grated. You were more intoxicated than you’d anticipated, or you were on meds that didn’t recommend you to drink, or maybe, just maybe, you could blame it on the fact that you drank too much, too fast, after not drinking for weeks.

Hearing a little whistle behind you, you wiped the remains of stomach acid saliva mix on the back of your hand, and turned to look at whoever had made that noise. Jesse was standing right behind you, as smug as ever. 

“Dunno how ya managed to drink that much. Thought ya were a lightweight.” Well, technically speaking, you are. You’d just overdone it. “I may or may not have chugged a bottle of Jaeger.” You said as you spit out remains on the ground.

“Colour me impressed. Ya got a hair tie or somethin’?” He asked as he put an arm around your stomach, only for you to wince and him to retract his arm. Your stomach was still unstable; you didn’t need to upset it by putting pressure on it. “Yeah, on my arm.” 

“Which one? Ya got two ya know.” Oh, hahah, how precious, was this really the time for jokes? Well, it was actually a pretty good time. You were actually being super embarrassing and awkward right now, so it was good that he was actually not disgusted by you and tried to lighten you up.

“Right.” Showing him your right hand, you felt more puke making its way up, but did your very best to suppress it. Why are you so dumb? Why did you do idiotic shit like this? Had you no fucking self-control? Maybe so…

Jesse took the hair tie off your wrist, and relieved you off the hair holding. Putting your hair up into a lazy bun. Sure took his sweet time though, letting his hands roam your actually, for once, not tangled hair au natural. Which was actually pretty amazing, seemed like Hana’s hair oil recommendation was really coming to your rescue.

“Ya smell amazing, just like… candy.” Vanilla fudge yes, but you highly doubt that he’d say anything positive about your smell if he actually took a whiff of the front. “I shouldn’t have had any alcohol.” You said as you almost puked again.

“Moderation, ya said so yourself, ya went overboard. It can happen t’ anyone really, happened to me several times. Countless times. Shit, we’re alcoholics aren’t we?” He asked and you laughed, trying to keep yourself steady with the help of the brick wall.   
“I guess we are.”

He laughed gently lifting the whole situation a bit. The whole thing actually reminded you of when… Actually it didn’t really remind you of anything. People tended to leave you alone when you started drinking or ridiculously fell into a bush because you couldn’t walk. No one actually stayed to watch over you, maybe back when you’d first tried alcohol with friends. But that was more out of guilt than actually wanting to help you get better and watch over you.

Even in this state, he still managed to make you laugh, he still watched over you and he didn’t think less of you for being in a state like this. It was refreshing. 

“I don’t think I need to puke anymore. I think I’m good. You want to go get some food?” You asked, as you stood tall stretching a bit in the process. “Ya sure? I think we should head back to base or somethin’, the night tends to be over when ya puke, y’know?” No you didn’t know, or you chose not to believe that.

“Oh pish posh, I think getting something to eat is a great idea. I’m also getting some water as well.” Waving him off, you stabilized yourself on the wall, the crate, and Jesse himself. Patting his chest as if to say ‘I’m ready, let’s go’. Though, your hand lingered.

Damn, you liked his chest, a lot. You know what you liked a lot better? Lying on top of his bare chest, his warm, comfortable, soft chest. Oh man, what you wouldn’t do to lay on top his chest right now, to nap or something of course.

But you know what, now was not the time. 

As you were barely managing to keep yourself stabilized. Not puke or anything, just literally not being able to walk because you were dizzy as fuck. Slowly, you were patting him down as you yourself was falling comically slow to the ground. Jesse almost lost it, if you were dumb and silly looking sober, you were at least ten times worse when you were floppy drunk. Which you were.

“Babe, what the fuck are ya doin’?” You heard him trying to keep is snickers back, but you be damned, he wasn’t doing the greatest job. “I’m riding a fucking horse, what do you think I’m doing?! I can’t fucking walk!” Okay, you’re being too aggressive to even be considered cute at this point.

Your mouth covered in puke, your hair all messy, red puffy eyes from crying and not being able to walk. The prettiest woman in the world.

“Oh my god, holy shit, I gotta take a photo of this, I can’t!” Jesse coughed, as he brought his phone out. Was he really going to take embarrassing photos of you in this… state? And here you’d thought you could actually fall for the guy, but no, he was just another shithead.

“Are ya poutin?! Holy shit babe, I just,” He laughed loudly now, “I love ya so much, yer such a cute thing when yer drunk!” Cute? You were far from cute at this point.

“I’m going to hit your fucking face in if you actually take a photo of me, I’m serious Jesse, I’ve done it before, I can do it again.” If that threat didn’t inflict some kind of painful memory to when you’d broken his nose with your boot, nothing would. He winced a bit, and your plan was a success.

“Fine babe, just don’t actually do it though, that fuckin’ hurt.” You kind of hoped it did, he had straddled you to the ground. “What ya want me to do then? Carry ya?” Well, yes that was one option.

“Can’t really walk on my own, and I’m really craving some kebab right now. With lots of garlic sauce, holy fuck, Jesse get me that and I’ll worship you like a fucking god.” He chuckled and grinned. Looking up at him, you couldn’t help but find him… even more attractive than usual. 

But honestly who could blame you? The man was handsome, he had fairly attractive features, and when he smiled at you or laughed, you felt your insides twist. Not in a bad way, like you’d puke some more, but as if you weren’t supposed to be so blessed to see him up close.

He was just… very pretty. So it confused the hell out of you that he’d even consider thinking of you romantically. He was a Greek god, you were the garbage goblin that lived underneath a bridge, potentially killing of goats to feast. Not that you’d ever actually consider killing a goat, they were among your top ten favourite animals. But that’s how you felt in comparison at least.

“How ya wanna do it? Piggy back or bridal?” If you were carried bridal style into the club, you’d never live it down. “Lean down, my man.” You said, as he did just that, and you climbed on top of his back.

“I think this is the best ride I’ve had in a while.” At that you heard him mutter something under his breath, but you brushed it off as just gibberish that you were heavy or the like. 

Entering the club, you saw everyone going off on the dance floor, and you had to hold onto Jesse in order not to fall backwards laughing your ass off. Seeing the heroes of Overwatch clubbing, was literally the funniest thing you’d ever seen. 

Not that they were doing anything ridiculous, it was just something you’d not expected to see… ever. But here you were, witnessing it first-hand.

Carrying you through the crowd, you gave Tobias a little wave to confirm that you were in fact alright. He looked a bit horrified that you were being carried off by a stranger, but you just smiled brightly at him, as if to reassure him. Had the situation been switched, you would have jumped across the counter and smacked that fellow down.

Alas, Tobias was not you, so he let you ride McCree’s back into the fucking sunset. As you made your way outside again. You saw the lanky dude making out with one of the girls you’d sent up into the VIP area. You know what, good for him, they’d probably be happy with each other. 

Waving at the bouncer, Jesse hushed you, you were behaving like an idiot. But hey you were having fun. There was no harm in that.

 

“Yer goin’ t’ end up getting me arrested. Calm down, please babe.” Was he really telling you to calm down? Were you really going to take that? No, you were going to retaliate, in the only way you knew how at this point. 

Leaving a huge fucking hickey on his neck, because of course that’d do the trick. Licking his neck, you left a long string of saliva. “Don’t ya dare.” Oh, but you dared.

Another lick, to remove all the dribbles you’d left. Making sure that he could feel the pressure you were applying. Moving up and down, in circles, you were teasing him. How fun, you could practically feel his body tense up as he held you just a bit tighter.

Then you got to work, gently kissing his neck, just testing out the waters. When you heard him let a little moan escape, you knew you’d found the right spot. Soft lips pressed against the sensitive part of his neck, you gave another kiss, before you started sucking a bit at his skin, making sure that there’d be a big mark forming.

“Babe, fuck.” Was he aggravated? You’d been too, telling you to calm down. As if you weren’t an adult perfectly capable of handling yourself. Not that you actually were, but you were still a bit insulted.

Nipping on his skin, you continued working on his neck. Leaving red marks from your kisses and some purple spots here and there from the kissing and sucking part. “Fuck…” You heard him curse as you worked a spot relentlessly. 

Fluorescent light blended you, and you realized you’d arrived at a night open kebab shop. He’d actually walked all the way to the kebab shop, which was what, a fifteen-minute walk? Just to get you a kebab. If you didn’t like him before – you sure as hell did now.

“Are you actually getting me a kebab?” You asked, as he put you down, keeping a steady hand around your waist. “That’s what ya wanted, wasn’t it?” He said, as he for some reason tried his best not to look at you. 

“You really carried me all the way here? Kudos Jesse, and for bringing me exactly where I wanted too! I almost feel bad about making hickeys.” He was still not really looking at you, but you didn’t mind, you needed some food to stabilize your angry stomach. The omnic behind the counter gave the two of you a look.

“2 kebabs, one without tomatoes and uh… What do you want Jesse?” This made him actually turn and look at you, and holy shit you wish he hadn’t because he looked just like a wet dream. Pupils dilated, a heavy blush across his cheeks and a little bit of sweat present. You didn’t know your hickey-making process could have done… that, to anyone really, especially not him.

“I don’t need anything babe.” Needed to kiss him, that’s what you needed, more than anything. But how good would you taste if you kissed him now? “I… uh, only one kebab then, without tomatoes and a bottle of water.” Directing your attention to the omnic, they gave a slight nod and put in your order.

You’d never actually be able to look at Jesse ever again, would you? Not after this surely, but right now, you didn’t care. You had made the Jesse McCree, the biggest flirt you knew a blushing mess, with your bad hickey making skills. Feeling proud of yourself, you honestly couldn’t help it, you needed to tease him about it.

“Are you honestly blushing right now because I slimed up your neck?” 

The distress and tension was almost unbearable, after you’d said that, he’d almost released his hold on you, which would have sent you flying to the ground. 

“Are we really talkin’ about that in here babe?” 

Was he embarrassed by you? 

“Fine, I’ll shut up.”

The omnic handed you a bottle of water and you effortlessly opened it and consumed some of its content. Sometimes, you just needed to drink a whole bottle of water, like actually just drink all of it at once. So you did. Like an idiot would, but who could blame you, you were drunk.

“You know; I don’t know what I want to do about this whole romance thing. I’ve never been pursued by like five people… I think five? Maybe, I’m very tired. I actually planned like, this crazy scheme.”

Were you really telling him your true thoughts? Yes, indeed. 

As you received the kebab, you stumbled a bit, fumbled with scanning your card, and headed out the door on your own. The cool air, had now turned freezing cold, at least in your opinion. As a gust of wind hit your body, you shivered.

“Wait, babe, what do you by mean crazy scheme? The test?”

Test? No, you weren’t testing him.

“It was actually a plan to let the two of you go, three if Genji had showed. Hook you guys up with some sweet girl, fall in love with them and leave me alone. This has been too stressful for me; I haven’t even had the chance to think through what I want or what I want to do with this information. So, I kind of decided to be a great wingman and steer you away from me.”

Oh man, this kebab was so fucking good. Taking a bite into the juice, spicy deliciousness, you felt delighted and euphoric. Food was better than orgasms at times. This being one of them.

“Ya… aren’t interested?”

God, this kebab was fantastic! You wanted to marry it, your Roomba could be the best man at the wedding, you’d have a beautiful sermon and wear the most precious flower crown. This kebab deserved all your love.

“Not exactly? It’s been too much, too fast, especially considering I’m still mourning the loss of my parents and most of my fellow soldiers. I have lots of ‘episodes’ or whatever the fuck psychologists call them, even if it’s been improved significantly with medicine, I’m in no state of actually dating anyone. I probably won’t be for a long time, so when people start pushing their emotions onto me, I’m freaking out and my mental and physical state worsen.” 

Fuck, this Kebab… This kebab could get it.

“So, what yer saying is… that yer not interested in anyone?”

Swallowing yet another bite of the kebab, you could see it starting to lessen with each bite. You were probably already half ways to finishing it.

“It’s not like I’m not interested. All I’m saying is, I have to be healthy before I pursue a relationship. Right now, I’m not there. I’m sorry to say this, but it will take months, maybe even years before I actually get there. Which is why I made this stupid half assed ‘plan’ to get you guys to take a hint. I’m not ready.”

Yeah, you probably only had two-three bites before you were done with the thing.

“Look, ya coulda just said ‘no’ to me, instead of making up a bullshit plan. Is that really how ya are? A manipulative schemin’ child?” Was he… insulting you? Maybe so, but this kebab was still so good, and you were down to one last bite.

“Are ya even listening to me?!” Were you? You kind of were, but you’d been lost in thought, distracted by the food. 

That was until Jesse grabbed you by your shoulders, twisted you, and forced you to look at him.

“Is this all a game to ya?!” Studying his face, you saw a flare of emotions. Hurt, anger, disgust, sadness, hell, maybe even something resembling heartbreak. ‘No.’ is what you wanted to say, but you were almost in a state of shock.

Grabbing you, while you were intoxicated, scaring you, making you anxious and stressed. A mix which was not especially great when mixed. Only gaping at him, eyes wide, you couldn’t do anything. Standing there as his grip hardened, reflexes and instinct ready to jump in on defending you if anything happened.

“Why are ya just standing there? Do other people mean nothin’ to ya?!” 

“Talk to me! Why didn’t ya just tell me to ‘fuck off’ or whatever?!”

“Why did you let it get this far? Why did ya let me take it this far?”

“Aren’t you goin’ t’ say anythin’?! Talk!”

“Yer breakin’ my heart here and ya can’t even tell it to me straight…”

“Do ya love me?”

 

“Jesse. I’ve tried to tell this to you, several times. I’m not in a state where I’d be able to actually date someone. I can’t date anyone, not even you.”

“Do ya love me?!”

Swallowing, you closed your eyes, expecting the worst. A punch or whatever else.

“I… don’t know.”

 

You were ready, you’d been ready for quite some time now. As you’d eaten food, in your tired, overworked, emotional and intoxicated state, your thoughts had just gathered. A revelation like no other. Deep down, you guess you’d known all along.

There was no possible way for you to enter a relationship in the state you were in. Sure, when you’d grown a bit, but for now, you just couldn’t see yourself falling for anyone. Especially not dating or start a relationship. You weren’t there yet, and that was alright.

“I’m sorry.”

 

That was the only thing you hadn’t been ready for, the only thing you hadn’t prepared for. An apology.

“I won’t bother ya ever again.”

Wait, no, that’s not what you wanted. You wanted him to realize that you weren’t ready and… you don’t know; you honestly don’t know what you wanted. He’d done just what you’d asked of him, realize that you weren’t ready. It’s not like you were even exclusive, it’s not like you had a ‘thing’ even.

“I… I need some time t’ think, think ya can get back to the club in one piece? What am I sayin’, course ya can, with kicks like that ya could take on anyone.”

Was he really leaving you to fend for yourself in this state? When you could barely walk straight? Or was he just so hurt he couldn’t be around you anymore? You are a disgusting human being, and you deserve any pain that will be inflicted on you.

 

“Jesse I – I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m like this. I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry for being an idiot!” You shouted as he wandered off, leaving you, in the middle of the city. Sure, you were just 5 minutes away from the club, where the rest of your bosses were, but damn it, right now you didn’t want to be left alone. 

 

Hell, you didn’t even want to be around them.

Turning 180 degrees, you started walking off, which turned into a light jog. 

Which turned into you running, spurting, trying your best to run away from all the emotions you had deep inside that was making your whole body ache.

Running over the road, you dodged cars with ease, nothing like running from bullet rain.

Where you were going was unknown, you just knew you didn’t feel like going back to Overwatch, not for a long time.

 

As you got more and more lost in the big city, you came to a screeching halt.   
You had no idea where you actually were.

The figures walking past you, seemed bland, yet terrifying.

As you walked past a particularly scary alley, a bad feeling and a shiver washed over you.

 

Something harshly grabbed you from your left and pulled you into the dark, alley.

“Give me all you- “ 

They didn’t even get to finish as you heard a loud slam.

The familiar ringing from your dear tinnitus made itself present.

Blood sprayed across your face, among pieces of brain.

You didn’t even flinch.

You didn’t even scream.

You already knew what’d happened.

You already knew who’d shot your mugger.

 

“Why do I always seem to get covered in blood when we meet?”

“So you do remember.”

A playful smirk made its way to your face, and as the guy in front of you, who’s body had fallen on top of you, fell slowly to the ground, you took a step away.

“Life’s a bitch, my mind gets kind of scrambled at times. But, I guess it’s nice to see you again? You always seem to come to my rescue, good to know someone seems to care about me.”

Gathering up all your courage, you ignored the loud red alarm in your head, and stepped up to the man who could make you scream in horror, had you not known him as well as you seemingly did. He stood tall, his gun already rid of, where you didn’t know, but maybe you could find out.

“Got that normal life you wanted?” His voice grumbled, as he put some of your loose strands of hair behind your ear. You’d never actually told him about that? Had you? “How many times have we met?” It was quiet.

“Eighteen times.” 

Eighteen times?! And you’d only remembered him for the… sexual parts? 

“Most of the times you were drunk, I don’t blame you for not remembering.” How the fuck could you not remember him?! Eighteen times, and here you’d thought you’d only met with him twice. Fuck, you… This was just making you nauseous, which was not a good mix considering you’d puked a little while ago.

Which meant that you wouldn’t focus on that for now.

“No, to your question that is... Far from it really. Talon’s given me lots of shit when it comes to your dear hacker.” At that he seemed to somewhat tense up. He knew, he definitely knew, and it was making you a bit irritated. Not that you’d actually lash out at him, he had fucking guns.

“Your brother has been bothering us for a long time, we let it slip considering you… Were a huge asset for Talon.” Why did that not comfort you one bit? You thought that in Talon’s point of view that you were completely neutral, that they didn’t see you as either important or unimportant. 

Sure, you’d shared some information and intel with them, hell even comradery. Did they really think of you as… an asset? And if they did, was that even a good thing for you? You didn’t want to constantly have to look over your shoulder now, did you?

“They don’t want him dead, if that’s what you’re freaking out about. Sombra does, but they’d rather him work for Talon. From what they’ve told me, he’s the genius out of the two of you, at least the more, academically bright one.”

As many times before, people had seen your brother as the more ‘gifted’ one. Which is technically speaking, true. Although, it was refreshing that he only admitted to him being more academically bright than you, because when it came to warfare, you had a definite advantage. Also when it came to fashion and cosmetics, but people didn’t find them to be quite as genius as they truly were.

You shifted a bit on your feet, untangled the knot of the jacket you’d tied around your waist and put it on. Without someone to hold you close you’d gotten cold rather quickly. But you honestly didn’t have time to think about that as you started wondering how he had known your exact locations and when to intervene.

Was he… a stalker? This was definitely not the first time he’d done this for you, killed someone to ‘save’ you. You had a feeling that it wouldn’t be the last either. Why weren’t you freaking out about the fact that there was a murderer in front of you? Why weren’t you freaking out that there was a guy lying dead on the ground? Were you that fucked up?

“He is smart, yes… Anyways, I assume you want me to lead you to him? That the reason you’ve been on my tail for so long is, that you want him.” You asked, crossing your arms and narrowing your eyes at him. He just stood there, menacingly. Not even uttering a word. 

“Not him. You.”

Perplexed, you tried to study his body language the best you could.   
Nothing.   
In your defence he was wearing a mask, but that still didn’t mean you could get a read on him.

“Beg your pardon?” Your thoughts were racing, your eyes scanning him, if he made one damn move you’d run away. There was no way you could fight him if you had to.  
“Talon wants me, but… for what?”

Suddenly you felt really stupid, as the scary, petrifying man sighed loudly, making you feel inferior and silly for even asking such a question. “I get that you’re drunk 5-308, I get that you’re fucking stupid at times, but that one was obvious.”

What was?

“Well… I apologise for being drunk and unable to understand what you mean but – oh.” OH!

Right, Talon wanted your brother, Reaper wanted you. 

Analysing the nature of your relationship he must’ve thought you’d be willing to jump his bones. Honestly, at this point, you kind of were?  
Anything that’d make you feel better was welcome, but… Not tonight.

 

“Ah… right. Tonight’s been… kind of a bust? Not really in the mood to do anything.” You voiced, and rather quickly sighed and ran a hand through your hair. It was still in that bun wasn’t it? But no, it must’ve loosened up some time during your walk with Jesse. Damn it, you’d broken his fucking heart or something, hadn’t you?

The man in front of you hummed, and you felt yourself actually enjoying it. A lot. His hums seemed to be familiar and comforting. It’s not like you actually didn’t know him, you apparently did. Very well at that.

“Just… a really terrible night. I’ve fucked up big time with some people, I didn’t even think about it until now, but it’s so toxic for me to stay there. I’m so fucking tired of everyone else’s piss. For once, why can’t I be free?” 

Freedom? Is that what you wanted?

“You still do things for the military?” He asked and you could feel yourself tense up. Your muscles ached, and you clenched your fists together, looking away. “I… uh, not for them. I wanted a normal life – but it’s far from it, and now I just, I want to escape from that. From all the death, all the killing, all the motherfucking drama. I don’t want to feel so tired, constantly.”

“You want to go?”

Yes. You did, you wanted to leave, travel far, far away, never ever turning back.

“I just don’t want to stay.”

Working for Overwatch for seven months hadn’t done much for you. It was just another military environment, which you’d hoped you could escape.

Slumping a bit, you finished closing the distance on the two of you. For some reason he was no longer scary, he felt like an old concerned friend. Putting your arms around him and pressing your face against his chest, you felt safe yet again.   
Strange as it was, considering he as supposed to be your enemy. 

 

“You remember the drill, right?” Shutting your eyes, you breathed out a ‘yes’. His metal claws ran a hand through your hair, and everything suddenly felt right. Which was even stranger, because for the first time in forever nothing bothered you.

‘Kiss him’ your mind screamed, it was all you wanted to do right now. Let him hold you like this, run his hands through your hair, you felt so incredibly relaxed now. Even more so than when you were dancing in the club. 

It didn’t seem to bother him that you didn’t remember every encounter, it didn’t seem to bother him that you were drunk and awkward, he didn’t even seem bothered by your very presence. It wasn’t what anyone would expect from him, but he was a gentle soul. Passionate as he was, he still took his time with you. He understood that you should not be rushed.

Only wishing you could remember the other times you’d met with him, would get you nowhere. You were fairly certain you’d be able to create new memories with him.

Standing in an alley, blood splattered across your face and clothes, each of your forehead leaning against each other, you felt… something. Hearing his deep, rusty breaths, you could only imagine what he’d look like. But that surely didn’t matter. Looks weren’t everything, especially if you remembered how good of a kisser he was.

“No tienes idea de cuánto he deseado tu toque.”

He turned, making you turn a little along with him. Not facing the streets. Clever.  
Shifting a bit, you heard a sound, which could only indicate that his mask was finally off. 

Standing on your tip toes, you put your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. First just a little, short one, to test the waters. But soon enough it turned into something more raw, passionate, starved.

“Eres tan Hermosa.” He breathed between your kisses, and you felt one of his clawed hands move to your hips, rubbing your side. Even if most people were ticklish there, when you felt someone touching your sides in a certain way, it gave this sensational feeling.

“Siempre te protegeré, eres mi todo.” So maybe it was very sexy that he started speaking Spanish… gibberish to you. But you didn’t really understand everything he said, which meant it was time to retaliate.

“Jaså? Jaha, mhm, jeg forstår nøyaktig hva du sier.” Norwegian sarcasm? Check. He almost seemed to choke up a bit. “Don’t have to get snarky with me.” Wait, did he know Norwegian? Well, fuck you then, maybe you’d have to switch over to islandic?

The kisses, which had been filled with passion, was now slowly becoming arousing and teasingly slow. You were really wondering why your curiosity hadn’t gotten the best of you yet. Why you hadn’t opened your eyes to sneak a peek. Maybe it was out of fear that he’d stop, but you no longer felt the need to see him. He was there, he wouldn’t leave.

“Ojalá pudiera quedarme contigo para siempre.”

All these words, yet not being able to fully understand them, they held little meaning to you.

But you knew for sure he was telling you things that would be of use, if only you could understand it.

Alas you decided to let it be for now, your focus shifting. Why are you even thinking about what he says, when you could focus on kissing him?

Moving your right hand, you let it trail over his chest before moving down south. Lingering a bit, you heard a string of curses erupting. Not exactly the thing you wanted to hear, because his tone didn’t indicate if they were good or bad curses. But as he’d not stopped you thus far, you continued.

Hand rubbing against his crotch, made him pull a bit at your hair, exposing your neck to him. Biting softly onto the skin of your neck, you let out a shaky breath. How he’d managed to figure out the most sensitive spot on your neck so fast, was truly amazing.

It only made you work harder, rubbing and squeezing against him. A trail of kisses up and down your neck made you moan loudly, and you bit the insides of your cheeks to keep yourself from moaning yet again.

You’d never felt able to let yourself moan loudly, embarrassed by the sounds you made. Having someone else moan out in pleasure felt absolutely delightful, but you? No thank you, you did not deserve the pleasure of doing that.

“5-308 – you know you don’t have to be embarrassed, you know the sounds you make drive me crazy.” 

He knew you, unlike most people. You’d done this with him before, many times, there was no need to feel so damn embarrassed. Plus, he’d just told you it was a major turn on. 

No longer was he kissing your neck, and you wanted to whine. Until his hands moved, right beneath your ass, and lifted you up. Reflexively wrapping your legs around him, you could feel how hot and bothered he truly was. The hard bump indicated just as much.

Returning to passionately kiss him, you felt the need to open your eyes. How you’d been able to hold yourself for so long was… infuriating almost. You wanted to look him in his eyes, you wanted to take in his whole face, you wanted to know the person who you’d forgotten with time.

Pressing you up against a wall, you let out a gasp. How bad you wanted to see him, writhe beneath him, kiss him forever. Good things never lasted long, as he parted with your mouth. Some of your saliva dribbled down your chin, and he let you stand on your own two feet.

Shyly, you dried off your mouth, and absolutely felt the need to talk. “I don’t know you.” You commented, as you mentally slapped yourself. Maybe you’d known sometime back, but right now, you had far too little knowledge and memory of who he was.

“Have I ever known your true name? Have I ever actually seen your face?”

“You’ve known my name, but I don’t want you to see my face.”

At that you almost frowned, was he being shy? You remembered that you’d asked yourself something similar way back when, but you thought you were past that with him. At least you’d hoped that.

“Why?” You asked, with a somewhat irritated tone. It’s not like you’d find him absolutely gruesome looking, you’ve seen a handful of people. “I’m a monster 5-308.” You’d wanted to snort at that, but realized how insensitive it would have been. Everyone had their insecurities.

“I’ll not ask again then.” Fuck, that’d come out completely wrong, your only hope was that he would understand you. That you’d meant it as a ‘I’m not going to bother you about it anymore’ rather than ‘show me or I leave’.

“I don’t want to scare you.” He said in a low voice, which sent a chill down your back. Kissing him gently on his lips, you smiled up at him. “I don’t believe I could ever be scared of you, certainly not because you look a certain way. Especially considering since I already find you insanely attractive without even haven seen your actual face. But as I said, if you wish me to not pry, I won’t.”

He guided one of your hands to his face, was he letting you…? Not that you’d open your eyes, but at least you’d be able to feel his face. Starting with his jaw, you could feel his stubble, prickly, but quite soft nonetheless. Cupping his cheek, you gave him a swift peck. He was very cold; his skin wasn’t warm at all. 

Not like it mattered, you were hot enough for the two of you. Trailing his cheek, you found an abnormality, like he didn’t have skin between his cheekbone and jaw. Maybe you were drunk, but it was almost hollow, as if it just vaguely consisted of smoke, which was certainly really strange. 

Humming a bit, you felt him twitch a bit underneath your touch. Was he unsure? Was he regretting letting you do this? Another peck to his lips, to reassure him, made him quickly calm.

Tracing your finger over his eyelids, you felt nothing out of the ordinary. You gave him yet another kiss, on his nose this time. Nope, except for the cheek thing, there was nothing out of the ordinary. Humming, loudly this time, completely dramatic, as if to determine what you thought of him, you put your arms around his neck yet again.

“Nope, nothing out of the ordinary, you do have a face believe it or not. And I don’t know what to tell you, but there’s absolutely nothing monstrous about that. From what I could feel, you’re even very handsome.”

A grin adorned your lips, you hoped he understood that there was absolutely no way you’d actually think of him as a monster because of his appearance. Even though he did look like the grim reaper himself in an outfit like that. He was also rough around the edges, but it wasn’t like you’d not be able to handle that.

Softly touching your hips, you could tell he was pleased with your answer. Maybe one day when you knew each other better, when you were better, you’d actually get to see his face and you’d be able to open up to him.

When you were both healed enough to reveal yourselves to each other. He was patient, which you kind of weren’t, but you’d not push him into doing something he didn’t want to do.

“I’ve missed you so much, I hate not knowing where you are. Hate not being close to you. I don’t ever want to lose you, not again. Remember me.” 

You didn’t have anywhere to be, you could be with him, at least for a while.

Leaning in slowly, you felt his inhumanly soft lips against yours, and you felt… God, you felt so many things at once. Only good feelings, only feelings that made you happy, feelings that made you smile widely. Feelings that made you giddy, oh, how good he was making you feel with each hungry kiss.

 

A familiar sound, and you were sent to the ground, tumbling. 

Scrubbing your knee and scraping your face against the unforgiving asphalt. 

He’d pushed you to the ground, and evaporated into thin air as the noise had rung loudly in your head.

Was he really leaving you now? 

When you had literally nothing to defend yourself with?!

 

“I should have known. Should have known you were nothing but a spy. Yet you convinced me, and here you are, making out with the enemy. What do you have to say for yourself, soldier?!”

Opening your eyes, letting your sight adjust to your surroundings you saw Soldier 76 standing a couple meters away, his rifle in his hands. You were going to die tonight; you were sure of it.

“I… Uh… F-fuck.” You tried to get up to your feet, but you’d really hurt your knee, which meant you wouldn’t be able to run away. 76 stomped his way over to you, kicking away the corpse which had been splayed out in the alley.

Trying your best to scamper off would prove you no good, you’d just have to face certain death. “What do you have to say for yourself?!” He all but roared as he picked you up and slammed you into the wall. 

The action did not only knock the air out of you, but also made you hit the back of your head, hard. You were seeing white, and bit back a loud scream that dared try to make its way out of your mouth. 

“And Reyes, don’t even bother showing back up behind me, I’ll snap your precious whore’s neck.” Plan B was just thrown out the window, you weren’t sure what you should do, what you could do. Then suddenly an idea was tossed into your head, as sudden as all of this.

Leaning forward, you whispered to 76 something that’d hopefully get you off the hook. At least for now.

“What are you doing?! You’re ruining my plan! I’m trying to get information about Sombra – fucking leave or I’ll fucking make you.” If he didn’t take the bait, you’d be screwed. “Wait, what?” Yeah that’s right you idiot, take the bait, take it.

“I’ve been working on this for the longest time, are you serious?! I’m 5-308, not some little skank, this is all part of an elaborate plan to get information.” This only seemed to further confuse him, which made you frustrated and afraid that he’d caught on, that it actually wasn’t a part of your plan.

“I’m sorry for having to do this Morrison, you leave me no choice. This information is valuable.”

Kneeing him between his legs, he let out a loud whine, making him hunch forward. You elbowed him in his back, which sent him to the ground. As he hit the asphalt, you were off.

You don’t know where you were going to run, but you were sure of one thing.

 

 

Overwatch would see you as a potential threat now, which left you with two options.

 

Leave for good, be free or face your demise and return back to base, as if tonight hadn’t happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly - what did you guys expect from this long ass chapter??? Reader marrying Roomba (God I wish)
> 
>  
> 
> We're not even near the ending (like 2/5), but hey, at least Reader's birthday is coming up! And I've planned an ending <333
> 
> Next chapter, I'll actually (finally) put out this fun little thing - where you guys can decide who Reader should end up with in the main ending.
> 
> Hope you guys liked my chapter - and as always, I'm available on Tumblr and Twitter so ya know, hmu
> 
> (I'm very busy with school and work, I also managed to get very sick, and I've been somewhat suffering from a heartbreak?? Got two finals this week and one next week, then I'll be free until the 12th, which means I'll most likely get a chapter out by then. And thank you for being so patient with me!!)


	27. Visitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERES THE LINK TO THE THINGY, GO AHEAD AND VOTE YOU GUYS!!
> 
> https://goo.gl/forms/dPoIIzclr3EyQEdG3
> 
> (n dont worry pal, buddy, my dudes, there'll be side endings and BONUS chapters, aka. chapters I never posted because it didn't seem relevant. Heck in one of the BONUS chapters u get an omnic bf n shit, how cool is that???)

“Wake up.”

A tired yawn was heard, with some shuffling in the background. 

“I’m not sure what the fuck is going to happen, but I need to make sure that we’re prepared in case we have to fight.”

The person who’d been sleeping soundly, rose to their feet abruptly. Almost tipping over in the process.

“Wait… What do you mean? Are someone after us?!”

A click was heard, but luckily not from an enemy’s gun.

“Not sure, but we’re going to find out.”

 

In the morning, you were yet again seated across from Soldier 76, in the interrogation room you feel like you’ve previously been in. After tonight’s events, you just wanted to rest for 48 hours straight, but alas, you were yet again being interrogated. Or, as he called it, ‘discuss what to do with you next’.

After you’d woken your brother up, freaked him out, stolen important Overwatch information, which they of course didn’t know, and weapons, and ammunition. You’d been ready to be on your merry way out of the base, until of course you’d been stopped by 76, who was waiting patiently for you, rifle in hand.

Anyways, he’d been convinced by your plan, who wouldn’t have been when they were held at gunpoint. How you’d even managed to do that, was beyond you, but he’d been thoroughly convinced. Now, you had one of the worst hangovers of your life, mostly because of all the guilt, and the fact that you’d dragged yourself through shit that you weren’t going to be able to get out of.

“So… This whole plan of yours, was just a spur of the moment kind of thing?”

Well, yes, technically speaking you’d come up with it last second before he’d decided to snap your neck. So yes, it had been a plan made in the spur of the moment. But it’s not like you were going to tell him that.

Rubbing your forehead a bit, you felt the wet sweat that had been forming, from before and during the interrogation. You hadn’t even gotten to change out of your gear, which at least meant that you wouldn’t die if he shot you in the stomach, that was nice. What wasn’t nice, was that it was hot as shit and you were already nervous, making the temperature rise even further.

“It wasn’t a perfect plan; I’ll tell you that. Mostly because I didn’t have time to make it so, I didn’t know the next time I’d be able to meet Reaper in person. I assumed he might come for me again, and based on assumption, which proved to be correct, my plan could have worked. If I hadn’t been interrupted…”

Lies upon lies, well not really, it was only half the truth. You didn’t have time to plan, you didn’t know when you’d meet him again, and you could actually have made that plan work, if not for 76’s interruption and the fact that you actually hadn’t made such a plan. 

“Improvisation?” 

“Yes.”

This made him let out a loud groan, as if he’d been the one to come up with the plan, and you’d been the one to fail the mission. You took a bit of offense, but really, you were just really tired and had a major headache. Not to mention the fact that you were way too warm.

“Why didn’t you ask for help? Back up?”

Was he seriously lecturing you right now? For not asking them for any help, when you weren’t an actual hero for Overwatch? You’d acted on your own, without the help from Overwatch. What had he expected?

“Am I really allowed to ask for help when I act on my own? This isn’t Overwatch business, you know. This was a-an idiotic act that I put myself through, it was selfish and me being stupidly over confident that this plan would work. I know I probably should’ve informed you, but when it happened I just, rolled with it. Told myself it was an easy mission that didn’t even need much planning to finish.”

Sometimes you amazed yourself with how great a liar you truly were. This stupid ‘plan’ of yours was actually, technically, a plausible idea. A scheme that actually could have worked. As Reaper had said, he wanted you, and from what he’d told you, not only to work for him.

“At least we now have some way of infiltrating Talon.” 

You heard him mutter, as you stared at him in disbelief. Was he… Was he seriously considering sending you out there?! No, no, no, N. O.  
There was no way in hell that you’d actually start doing this kind of work again, there was a reason you’d been dismissed, there was a reason you were on meds, there was a reason why you were a fucking alcoholic or whatever the fuck.

“I’m sorry what? Are you seriously considering sending me,” You pointed to your face, “Me! As a fucking spy?!”

Why he suddenly seemed quiet was really unnerving, and your head ached even worse than it had. No, you were not going to stand for that, you were not going to be sent off on yet another mission to infiltrate someone and gather information. That was a life you’d left behind, never to return to.

“Risking your life, just to save your brother. That’s what you wanted correct? You told me, that you’d willingly die for him, if it meant he was safe. Now, Overwatch is under no obligation to actually house and hide your brother, meaning we could kick him out on the curb in the matter of seconds.”

Oh. Was he fucking blackmailing you? Oh, fuck no. He was a dead man.

“Was that a threat?”

Rising to your feet, you slammed your fist down on the table, hard, loudly. Shocking the man in front of you. He’d never seen you like this, and quite frankly, the only people who had, were gone now.

“Are you seriously trying to fucking blackmail me into doing a dangerous fucking mission, just because you’d kick my brother out if I don’t?! He’ll fucking die if he gets sent out there alone!” 

But, if what Reaper had told you, that they’d just use him as a personal slave, he’d actually live. At least for a while. Sombra however, they’d kill your brother, and if they were as powerful as you imagined, quite easily at that.

“Then I suggest you do what I tell you to.”

You wanted to snap his neck, punch his stupid face in, kick him where the sun doesn’t shine, again. How dare he make such a threat?!

“I don’t know if you know, but there’s a reason I was dismissed from the military. Would you like to find out why?”

Actually, you weren’t sure, but you thought it had something to do with your ex, and the fact that you were in a terrible mental state. 

“Don’t really care. As of right now, you work directly under me, 5-308. You will be a spy, you will get me all the necessary information, and you will do it all with a fucking smile on your face and be ever so grateful that I’m even letting you do this. Is that understood?!”

Clenching your fists, you were ready to jump him. But that would look bad on your resume, right? Plus, all of Overwatch would probably want you dead, if they didn’t already.

“Loud and clear. But for the record, if I die, I will be avenged.”

Rising to his feet, he leaned in close to your face. The intimidation and fear rose inside of you. Fuck, why did you have to speak without thinking?

“Then don’t die.”

 

“What happened?”

What had happened indeed. Well, you’d been blackmailed into working for 76 as his personal slave for starters, that was one thing. Then there was the fact that you’d have to infiltrate Talon, making even more enemies for yourself, so that was fun.

“He just lectured me, I’ll be fine. Sorry for… All of this, what happened was stupid, I was drunk and I got you involved, which I shouldn’t have.”

Your brother, who was also still in his uniform, gave you an unsure look. A look which tried to study your face for any indication that you were lying, that you weren’t in fact ‘fine’ as you’d stated. He was tired as well, too tired, he didn’t even notice the most obvious signs.

Avoiding eye contact, scratching your neck, looking uncomfortable and sweaty. That or he rolled with it, so you wouldn’t have to worry about yet another thing in your life.

“Good. Don’t do that ever again, alright? Scared me half to death. If you want to make out with Talon agents, be more discreet next time, okay? And thank god it went well, holy shit, I was about to blow this whole place up!”

Wait, what?!

“What do you mean?”

Your brother looked a bit slyly at you, patted your head in a kind of demeaning way, before he continued his explanation. “Had anyone dared to kill us, I would have pressed this little button and blown this whole place to bits. You won’t believe how many bombs they have, it’s like, enough to blow up the entire city. But knowing the structure, we’d be the only ones who’d actually have died. Its good I didn’t need to do that.”

“Are you serious? Lock that thing up you insane prick! I don’t want to accidentally touch it and fucking die!” You screamed, taking a couple steps back. “It’s deactivated now though, don’t worry.” As if you wouldn’t worry about being blown up.

“I swear, one day, one day you’ll kill us both because of a miscalculation or something.” As if your genius brother would ever actually miscalculate anything. At least the two of you wouldn’t be lonely, but that’s sad thoughts, and right now, there was no room for that.

“The day that happens, we’ll finally win the lottery. Would be so bloody typical.” He said, as you gave him a little smile. “I don’t even bet, which means that we’re technically immortal.”

Ruffling your hair, you playfully slapped at his arm, which caused a series of childish fighting. Which was actually a bit enjoyable, as it helped get your mind off of things that’d happen in the close future.

One last slap, to your face this time, and you pretended that you were dying, groaning loudly on the floor. “You know, I really miss mom and dad.” Okay, why had he just said that? That came out of absolutely nowhere. Sitting up, you looked at him.

Still holding up a smile, he looked just fine. But you could hear from the tone of his voice that he wasn’t. Dragging your feet close to you, you re-seated yourself on the ground, crossing your legs.

“Same. They would’ve been really proud of you bro. Having fun, inventing new things with Overwatch, you’ll always be the perfect kid.” Not like you ever would. It’s not like you were… significantly bad or anything, you were just… Under average? But the self-deprecation was not going to make itself present in this conversation if you could help it.

“Would’ve been prouder of you though. Look at you, you’re finally not sleeping all day, and actually do an amazing job.” Yeah, as if that wasn’t something people didn’t manage to do perfectly on their own every day. Most people at least.

“Hahah, yeah right. Who’s the genius here? The esteemed ‘hackerboi’? You or me?” At this he scoffed a bit, but he knew you were right. What had you to show for? Nothing really, you didn’t even have your precious Roomba anymore, and you’d managed to get yourself blackmailed into doing spy shit for Overwatch. You were just great!

“Why do you always put yourself down? I’m sure you do plenty of good things every single day. Keeping this whole base clean, on your own, doing anything that they request of you. Putting up with lovesick fucking superheroes, managing to actually be on your own without freaking the fuck out. You do a good job every day sis.”

Mhm, tell that to the universe, which definitely had something against you. “Thanks bro, for cheering me up. If anything, I’m really proud of you.” Pushing yourself off the ground, you unlaced your boots, threw them into a corner and gave off a loud groan as you jumped into bed. 

“Graceful as ever.” Your brother commented as you made a noise at him, indicating that you were not amused by his little hurtful comment. It wasn’t very hurtful though, you just didn’t enjoy it. “Don’t you want to wash off the blood? You’re still kind of covered in your mugger’s blood.”

“You do it.” You said as you closed your eyes. Shit, you were tired. Hearing him huff at you, only made you smile a bit. He’d definitely go and wash your face while you rested. “Are you going to strip at least? You’re still wearing all the knives and guns you stole.” Maybe.

If you weren’t already making soft snores. 

 

You’d yet again woken up without remembering your dreams, not that it bothered you, but at least dreaming helped when it came to recalling memories. When you dreamed, you seemed to act out missions upon missions. Never where you allowed to have a new imaginative dreams, forced to live out parts of your past that you’d rather forget.

Sitting up, you rubbed your eyes. Your brother had done a good job, dressing you in pyjamas and washing your face. What day was it? You’d forgotten. It felt like a Sunday, but you think it’s actually a Saturday. You weren’t completely sure.

Swiping through the several requests that had been building up, you also saw the read the time. 16:04. Nice, you’d slept away the day. Time to prioritize people’s requests, eh? Mei did definitely come first, as you said you’d do anything for her, whenever you were available. Then came… Oh god. No. 76 had already made a request for you. Which could only indicate that… you were going to start your work now. 

Ignoring it for a bit, you dressed yourself in your usual work attire, and headed for the placement where Mei had wanted you. She only wanted you to water some of the plants, that didn’t already have a sprinkler system going on in her room. ‘Easy enough’ you thought, until you actually remembered, she had tons of plants in her room.

You’d never actually gotten to water them, but you’d had to clean up the leaves which had fallen off. There were a lot of falling leaves. As you opened your room, you saw them, all the goddamned plants. They were almost mocking you, but you powered through it, and read every pot, which had marks indicating how much water they should all be given.

Feeling determined and driven, you started watering them all.

Instead of doing it quickly though, you did quite the opposite. Mostly because you didn’t feel like actually taking up 76’s request. But it’s not like you wanted to be a damn dirty brother killer either, so you were, eventually, going to take him up on his request.

Eventually being the keyword. 

 

“What took you so damn long?”

Watering plants, sleeping, avoiding the request? Take your pick, they were all viable reasons for you to show up as late as you did.

“Sorry.”

Apologizing seemed like the best thing though, showing him how visibly uncomfortable you were, would probably help as well. Looking at you, as stern as ever, you felt yourself physically trying to make yourself smaller under his gaze. It was very uncomfortable to be here, in this position, with someone holding a lot of power over you.

“When I send you request, you pick them up right away, and that’s sorry sir to you, you insolent brat.”

Old fucking piece of shit face. Not that you’d say it out loud, but you were mentally cussing him out and roasting his life. If only you weren’t in your current position you’d actually have done it. He knew that you could kill him, more or less, would be able to kill him. But he didn’t even act the fucking part.

“You’re not on lockdown anymore.” He started, making you almost perk up a bit, was he finally allowing you to leave as you pleased again? Without an escort? “But I expect you to have a com link on, every time you actually go outside. And you’ll have this fun little tracker placed inside you.” 

He put the two things on the table. The ear piece was fine enough; it was the tracking device that was worrying you. It was about the length of a finger nail, luckily not as thick, but still pretty big. Plugging in the ear piece, you looked at the device, then at 76, then back to the device, and back to 76 yet again.

“So, I’ll sow it into some clothes? Is that it?” You asked, hoping that was the case. From his body language you could tell that wasn’t the case, he almost looked amused that you had even asked. The sadistic fucker. “You’ll be swallowing it. It won’t get digested, and can only be removed by surgery.”

What makes he think he’s allowed to do that?! Oh right, this or brother death.

“Well then, bonski!” You said throwing it into your mouth and swallowing. Sticking to the back of your throat, you coughed harshly feeling as if you were about to choke and die. Luckily for you, reflexes kicked in and helped the tracker make its way down.

You swore you could hear 76 stifle a snicker, but you weren’t sure. Was he really amused by the fact that you were in this position? Did he really not have any human decency? 

“Now what?” You asked, glaring at the man in front of you. “You get your weeks off. Didn’t you want to go visit some people’s graves or something? Think I heard some talk about that.” Well, yes, you did want to, but what you wanted more, was to know his game plan.

“And…” Making gestures for him to continue. “And you’ll contact me once you’ve infiltrated the base. It really isn’t that hard.” Okay then, fine, you’d go along with this dumbass scheme.

“Let me book some plane tickets and I’ll be good to go. See ya in, two weeks or something.” You said, bitterly, as the door to his office opened. 76 could go die for all you cared, that emotionless stale brick. “Be safe out there, soldier, Reyes doesn’t hesitate.” 

Reyes… his last name? It certainly fit him. 

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, I always finish the job. Don’t worry, blah, blah, yadda, yadda. Bye.” 

 

“I’m serious, I’ve never worked with you before, I don’t know how many risks you’ll take. I want you to come back home, here, in one piece.”

 

“This ain’t my home, and you can go fuck yourself.”

 

Expecting the door to close behind you, yet again cutting off the rest of the conversation between the two of you without him getting the last word, was apparently too much to hope for. Grabbing your arm, he twisted it pulling you back into his office.

“Why are you always so damn resistant?! Do you not understand the situation you’ve just put yourself in? Do you not understand that you can die, that your brother can die, that this whole organization is under constant pressure and threats, not only from Talon, but from the fucking world? Honestly, you’re acting as if all of this isn’t real, are you sick?!”

Trying to pry your arm out of his hard grip, was useless, even when you started punching him, and twisting as to get away from him. You were not just going to stand here and get lectured by some, some old douchebag!

“Fucking let go!”

He was not letting go, even as you try to loosen up, hanging by his arm, dangling. Still holding you up by your arm, reluctant to let you go.

“Let me go, or I’ll fight you!” 

Yelling did not help your situation, even as you tried to run off, and clawing at his gloved hand. He wasn’t letting you go no matter what, and you were so close to biting off your own arm, gnawing at it through the flesh, veins, meat and bones. He had to let you go.

“Let me go.”

He wasn’t. Desperately trying to rip your arm out of his hard grip was proving to be quite tiring, why he wasn’t letting you go was beyond you, but you didn’t want him to touch you. You didn’t want anyone to touch you.

Touching you was almost painful, not because it physically hurt, it just disgusted you for some reason. So his hold was for some reason causing a mental alarm that you were in pain.

“Please, calm down.”

As if him saying that would do literally anything for you. Saying ‘calm down’ often has the different effect, defeating its purpose. Especially now.

“You’re going to be alright. I’m sorry for having to do this, I’m sorry for having to put you through this yet again.”

That wasn’t true, his words were as disgusting and ill meaning as his touches. There was nothing about this that was comforting in any fucking way.

“You’re our only shot at this, you’re trained in doing this, you have the contacts, you got everything we need in order to infiltrate Talon. I’m so sorry, I don’t want to do this. But you’ve done this to yourself, you just… You just had to screw up like this didn’t you…”

Screw up? What a perfect description of you and your life, but now it didn’t matter. You were forced to go through with something you didn’t want to do, yet again.

“I just… I’m sorry, words can’t begin to describe how sorry and guilty I feel for having to do this to you.”

Lies.

He was just lying to you, like so many other people had done.

It was making you sick to your stomach.

“Please stop looking at me, please stop crying.”

How could you tear your eyes away from him? When he was doing this to you, purposely. A human being, that’s what you were, and you couldn’t do this anymore, you could not manage another mission. You knew, he knew, hell, the military knew. Everyone knew you were too tired to go through with yet another mission.

“Don’t think for a second that I’ll ever forgive you for doing this, you sick freak.” Your voice finally came to, and this was what you’d said. Amazing how sometimes words just find their way and just get, you know, spoken. With meaning behind them even.

“This is not my fault.” He said, not convincing anyone, not even himself. “Oh really?!” The bitterness and hatred in your voice shone through, and hopefully so did the look on your face.

“For one, you’re blackmailing and threatening a person into doing something they are not capable of fucking handling, and you know it yourself. You’re sending me to my fucking demise, it’s so fucking obvious. I’ll die, and all you can say is ‘this is not my fault’, like it’s not entirely your fault!”

Letting go of your arm, you could finally make your escape. However, you were not done. When you’d first started, you could not be stopped, he was going to know your every thought on all of it.

“Secondly, most of you are hormonal fucking- I’m so pissed I can’t even curse! I just, hate them, and I hate you, and this stupid fucking, I hate everything.”

Kicking over his trashcan, sending it flying across the room, made you feel a bit better.  
Tearing at your own hair, you let out a frustrated scream. Exhausted, you were beyond that point, you felt like jumping off a cliff at this point.

“You’re all just, you guys don’t treat me like I’m a human being, I’m not some machine that can work relentlessly without rest. I have feelings, thoughts, dreams. I’m in a lot of pain, yet you don’t even think of me as a human, I’m just a side character in your shit show of a lives! Some forgotten background character, to you I’m just a groundskeeper right?!”

Drying the tears that prickled down your cheek was useless, it just kept on streaming. Cue, a breakdown.

“I’m not strong enough to go through with another mission, the fact that you’re even doing this to me… I…”

For the first time in forever, it seemed like you’ve made the man in front of you completely utterly speechless. Sure, there were several times where he hadn’t replied to you, but not being able to even utter a single word, was new.

Another new thing, was the tight embrace he was now holding you in. Even if you’d not felt like being touched earlier, right now, it was very welcomed. His entire body engulfing your smaller frame. You clung on to him, as if he wasn’t the one causing you distress, as if he was the only one who could save you, when really he was the one damning you.

“I have seen you fight, hell we fought, just hours back. I know I’m asking a lot of you now, but we need your help, we require your expertise. If you can’t do it, no one else can. You’ll be doing it for the world, for Overwatch, for your brother, for… me. I know you think you can’t, but you have the will, the drive, I believe in you. The only thing you need to do, is contact me, through the com link and I’ll have a team ready to pull you out. You will only make contact with Talon, nothing else.”

Shaking your head at his words, you felt all strength leave you. There were several times you’d had to push yourself far beyond your comfort zone. But this plan was clearly insane and you knew you’d be sent off to your death, who would be there to take care of your brother then?

“I’m… You know I’ll die, yet you’re still willingly sending a civilian into battle? My death will be another weight on your shoulders, and it’ll crush you. If I die, my brother will throttle you, and you’ll have to deal with my…” You’d almost said your ‘significant other’, as if you’d forgotten that you’d broken up with him long ago. 

You knew that 5-489 would definitely destroy the organization if he knew what was going on, especially considering how some of them had treated you. Surely, he’d help you? Or not, he did have a new girlfriend, which he loved very much. Hell, you even liked her a lot.

He wouldn’t come for you.

No one really would.

Your brother? He would be too heartbroken over your death.

Hana? She would definitely get upset, but it’d only fuel her hatred for Talon.

The rest of the good ol’ Overwatch gang? Nope, they knew, that there was no way they could.

“Soldier 76 – you’re killing me.”

You said, as you let him go, opening the door yet again, leaving without giving him another word.

 

Time to order some plane tickets!

 

Informing people that you were taking a personal vacation, seemed to have many different reactions. Mostly positive ones, where they wished you well, to enjoy your trip, but there were some that were just rude. “why? Do you need it?” Being one of them, but you ignored it, considering it was an anonymous message and returned to packing up some clothes for the trip.

Your brother, who’d been extremely suspicious when you’d told him the news, had helped you book a flight for tonight, ‘back home’, he said. But you didn’t feel like it was home, not anymore. Which meant, that maybe it was time, maybe it was time to finally have that one reunion with your old friends?

Most of them had returned or stayed within the city borders, because the outside world had been too much or simply because they missed their home. How nice it was to have something to return to, right?

Packing your passport in a purse, along with the key card, cards, different cash, phone, charger, headset, you know what, a lot of shit, you couldn’t help but feel… nauseous. Not because of the mission or anything, that bit was fine, not even because of your hangover. You were nauseous because you’d see how far your friends had come, while you were still the same as ever, even worse.

“I hope you’re okay with flying coach? It was the only thing available.” 

Nodding and humming a bit, you felt his hand on your shoulder. It wasn’t really helping you, that he touched you. You know you were doing this all for him, but it still didn’t make you feel any better.

“You’re doing this because of what happened, right? What are they doing to you sis? Please tell me.”

It wasn’t as if you could tell him. Because you’d basically tell him you were sacrificing yourself for him, and he wouldn’t accept that, you knew it.

“They told me I could take some time off while they re-evaluated me as their employee. Two weeks’ suspension and all…” You lied, feeling awful instantly. Your brother frowned, maybe he’d seen through your lie?

“Can they really do that? I mean, I should probably look it up for you or something…” He said taking out his phone, already in that little ‘world’ of his. Typing away at the phone, you zipped up the bag. “Does it really matter? Two weeks’ vacation without an escort, it’ll be so good to get outside.”

“Wouldn’t know, I haven’t been outside since I came back in.” What? Hadn’t Zenyatta escorted him outside? “What do you mean?” You asked, furrowing your brows, something was wrong with this whole image. “Zenyatta informed me that my request to go outside had been denied, but that yours had been accepted. We both agreed that you needed to go out more than me, so I let you be.”

Had he really not been outside since he came in? Had he felt the sun on his skin in so long? Not a breath of fresh air?

Then you remembered, you were not only doing this for your brother to be secure in Overwatch’ hold, but for him to be free. If you managed, in some way, to get Talon uninterested in your brother, he’d walk outside, free. Like any other human being.

If you sacrificed your own freedom, he’d have his.

Which is why, you needed to go through with this plan. You were doing this for many reasons, but the most important one was to save your brother.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be alright. I love you lots, you know? Be safe, until I return I expect you to be at your best behaviour. Au revoir bro.” 

Au revoir, what a beautiful way of saying goodbye. It didn’t solely mean goodbye forever, it kind of meant ‘until we meet again’. Because you know what? Screw the fucking odds, you were going to kick ass, and you’d return back to base to kick 76’s ass. No matter how hard this might be, you were not going to cave in.

You’re strong.

Stronger than you think.

You’ve lived for so fucking long, beaten odds unimaginable. This little, petty mission, was nothing in comparison to what you’ve already done. Your new team, was highly experienced, their back up would be instant and dangerous.

Taking a deep breath, you put the purse over your shoulder, and your duffel bag on the other one. Even if your insides were twisting and twirling, even if you knew deep down that there was a possibility you’d die, you were ready to fight.

“Need me to hail a cab?” After UBER had met its sad demise during the war, society had gone back to the good ol’ cab system, of course with a similarity to UBER, except they held a lot higher standard that not even them in their prime could compete with. Maybe it had something to do with how omnics were a lot more precise when they drove?

Anyways, you gladly accepted his offer, as you handed him your phone. “Oh, some of your friends have been messaging you. You going to meet up with them back home?” Correction dear brother, ‘old friends’ and yes, you would be meeting up with some of them for a cup of coffee.

“Good, it’s nice to see you doing something moderately normal. It’ll help with the psyche and all.” he said pointing and poking at his own head. “Like when you bring me coffee, makes me feel some kind of normalcy. Helps a lot in my situation.”

“We’ll see each other in two weeks, and hey, at least you’ll have the room to yourself. Feel free to decorate however you’d like and all. I’ll see you very soon, I’ll bring some gifts and stuff, just hit me up with whatever wishes you may have.”

You smiled at him, this actually felt a bit normal, he was right when it came to the normalcy feeling. It felt pretty darn good.

“Be safe, and give Hana a goodbye hug, alright? She’ll miss you lots, and I know she feels a bit intimidated by me, but I’ll do my best to take care of her. She’s actually the first friend of yours I’ve genuinely liked. Love you lots sis, take care!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait - Reader put 76 at gun hold? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! well, wouldn't y'all like to know #BONUS chapter coming up ;)))))
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you guys liked this update, as always I'm available on twitter and tumblr, so ya know hmu ;))))
> 
> (My last written final is on wednesday, so it'll take a while for me to update, thanks for being so patient! Love y'all lots, makes me so happy to see the all the nice comments)


	28. The travel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poll for who you think Reader should end up with, is still up!
> 
> https://goo.gl/forms/aADDrEYSR6frT1Xr2
> 
> (It seems to be REALLY even between two characters)
> 
> I would also like to give a little shoutout to my friend, Worldsfool, which is writing a real cool fiction, you guys should check it out!!
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/10476681/chapters/23114976

Turbulence, oh how you absolutely loved it. That wasn’t even sarcastic, you actually did genuinely enjoy it. As the other, more inexperienced travellers screamed for their life, you lent back and enjoyed the occasional butterflies the sudden drops erupted. 

Traveling with an older airplane, one built around 2050 had both its perks and difficulties. The perk being that you would travel very cheap, and the difficulties being that it was an old death machine that could maybe break apart mid-air. Though you somewhat disagreed, it was built during the war, just a couple years before you were born, it was meant to be sturdy as shit and take a couple hits.

Another drop and the woman next to you could no longer take it, letting out a blood curdling scream as tears streamed down her cheeks. You’d seen a couple recruits having the exact same reaction, except you were in a much smaller air craft and you were actually getting shot after. Taking pity on her, you took a napkin you hadn’t used during your little on flight meal.

Touching her hand, she looked up, almost a bit shocked as snot ran out of her nose. “It’s just some turbulence ma’am. It’s only a little storm, you’ll be alright. Here, it’s completely clean and all.” You said handing her the napkin. 

Yet another drop and she clung to your form, wiping tears and a bit of snot onto your t-shirt. Not that you really complained, you were used to getting dirty, and if it made her feel better then it wasn’t the worst possible thing to happen. Her curly hair tickled your nose a bit, and it was actually a bit comforting knowing that she had chosen to seek rescue in your arm.

The woman looked to be around her mid-thirties, but you weren’t completely sure. Not that her age really mattered, right now you just needed to calm her a little bit. “Are we going to die?” She asked, clutching your shirt.

“I highly doubt it, considering that this plane could take a big fucking hit, and the fact that the pilots seem to know their shit. It’ll be over before you know it. Listen, you’ve taken a rollercoaster before right?” She gave you an unsure nod, “Okay so, just imagine that this is actually a rollercoaster. Like a simulation of sorts. It calms down a lot of people, or we can try a different approach?”

“But are you sure the wings aren’t going to rip off due to the winds?!” Her sudden outburst almost made you chuckle. “Ma’am, this plane was built to take several bombs, I doubt a little wind will actually make its wings rip off completely.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to die, I need to see my little girl and my husband!” Helping her wipe off some of the tears, you only smiled at her. “I’m quite certain, this is like, piss in the ocean. This little turbulence session got literally nothing on some of the other air craft tours I’ve had. Let me tell you, there’s nothing scarier than having to take control over a helicopter because the- “Pilot was shot… Oh boy, you couldn’t say that.

“The pilot fainted…” You said, which was a lie, but kind of the truth. The pilot had blacked out, permanently. This made the woman look up at you, in wonder, as if you were a literal superhero. “Are you a pilot?” She asked, seemingly calmer by the second.

“Uh… Not exactly, but I know my fair share of air crafts? When you’re forced into a situation, you have a variety of options. I chose to be calm, objectified, and only focus on steering us to safety. When I think back, I’m amazed by how I managed to react so fast and save myself.”

You actually were amazed by your skills when you thought about it. How you’d managed to land it was beyond you, but you had. Or maybe you hadn’t and you were currently dead living in ‘heaven’. Which you highly doubted, because this was like not good and not bad, somewhere in-between. You just didn’t know.

“Oh… Uhm…” She looked kind of unsure what to say, an awkward silence between the two of you. “I don’t really fly all too often, I just had to go on this business trip out of country. I typically have to take the train but, there just wasn’t time, and I get really bad headaches when we have to travel so far underwater for a long period of time. I was supposed to be on another plane, one of the newer ones, you know? But it was too damn pricey.”

At that you actually did chuckle a bit, even now the capitalistic society has set its standard. You wish things were cheaper, but hey, what could you do to really change that? Besides joining campaigns and stuff. In your prime, aka. in your teens, you’d been to so many campaigns. Marching hours upon hours for omnic rights, even if it was really dangerous, you’d read how it had used to be for women, people of colour and the LGBT+. 

Even if there were still several issues with that, they were gradually lessened as the hate shifted towards the omnics. Not to say that there still didn’t exist lots of misogynists, misandrists, racists, homophobic and transphobic bigoted shit heads, because there did, and you’d certainly had to face a whole lot of them.

Protesting against your dislikes of society was something you hadn’t done openly as of late though. Now you just cleaned and hoped that no one would interact with you. How the great passionate teen had fallen into this nasty little trash bag full of fears that was you.

“I understand, but yeah, how’s… uh… life?” Weren’t you just the most amazing conversational partner to ever exist. The woman, who was wearing a business casual clothes and one of the most precious broches you’d ever seen, re-seated herself in her seat and looked a lot calmer than she’d been minutes ago.

“It’s been treating me fairly well, my daughter will be starting kindergarten real soon, oh how fast they grow up, and my husband just got a promotion at his job.” That sounded rather nice, what a simple normal life. “Oh really? That sounds really nice, which kindergarten is it? The one close to the ‘Hills’?” You asked, not sure if you’d sounded too eager to indulge on her life.

“Yes, you know of it?” Know of it? That’s where you’d gone! How it still existed was simply… exciting in a way. It was a little over 23 years ago since you’d attended that particular kindergarten, and you had many pleasant memories of it. “That was the kindergarten I used to attend, really is a wonder that it’s still there.”

A warm and almost loving smile crossed the woman’s lips, “Now I remember where I’ve seen you before.” Wait, what? She knew you? How the fuck did she know you? She looked to be at least 30 years, and you were still in your mid-twenties. Did she just look a bit more mature because she had her life put together, or?

“We attended the same elementary school! I was the one that showed you around and took care of you for the first month.” Oh boy were you glad that she wasn’t a classmate, because if she was, you’d feel like an even bigger failure. Considering she had a job, a husband and a daughter.

“Really? Well, my minds kind of scrambled from old age,” Actually from being put in dangerous situations that were really trying both mentally and physically, but whatever, “So I don’t particularly remember you all too well, sorry. But that’s really cool, uh…”

You had no idea what to say next, what could you say? ‘tell me more about your child’, way to be creepy, ‘tell me about your husband’s promotion’, nope, that’s just rude. You were just really hoping something would come to mind.

“So, how’s life been treating you?” She asked, and you felt yourself panic a bit. ‘Like shit’ was not a good answer. ‘Oh, I’ve been working on gathering government secrets for the military, and then I joined Overwatch, and now I’m kind of technically on a mission but you know, hush hush’ was yet again not a good enough answer. Which meant that it was time to half lie.

“I kind of work as this uh… Organization that wants to help people around the globe.” Way to go, you sounded fucking stupid. But the woman, who apparently knew you, stared at you in wonder and as if you were a fucking saint. “Really?! Wow! An organization like Amnesty?”   
Well, you could say that? They did help people in dire need, especially when their human rights were broken. So yea… You were just going to go with it.

“Yup, I mostly just go around and help other employees with whatever they need. I still feel like a… you know, what’s the word?” Ugh, you hated it when you forgot a word in one language, and could only remember it in another. Like, you knew the particular word, you’ve used it many times before, you just couldn’t remember.

“Intern?” She asked, trying to help you, which made you voice a loud yes and a little sigh. “I still feel like an intern, even if I’m not. Don’t get me wrong, some of my associates are my best friends, but there’s just some of them that makes my life a living hell. Especially one of my bosses, it’s like he has a personal vendetta.” You were just glad you’d turned off your com link or he’d been able to hear this conversation.

“Really? What way?” she asked, seeming very interested at getting the ‘office gossip’, even if she didn’t work at your ‘company’. “Makes me get his coffee all the damn time, treats me like a freaking machine or as if I’m a child. Not to be rude or anything, but he’s just not nice. However, he always seems to get the job done, which is seemingly why I still respect him of sorts?” 

Did you honestly respect the biggest asshole on the planet? Well, in a sense yes. He was good at his job, devilishly so. So you guess you respect him for doing a good job, but not for being a good person.

“I get that, at my last job, my boss was just this cranky old man, he was just super mean to everyone and no one said a word because he was so intimidating. He was however, also great at his job, which annoyed me to the end of the universe. We had great numbers every year, and when he died, a couple months back, I went to his funeral. Everyone did, truly amazing. Nobody even liked him, yet here over a hundred people had come to mourn him.”

Hm… cool… uh, now what would you talk about? Maybe indulge her on the office romance? 

“And then there are these guys y’know.” You said, as a smirk crossed her lips, “Go on.” She said and made a wave-y gesture for you to tell her about the hot office romance, which really wasn’t romance, because you were just not ready for that yet.

“Super-hot dudes, I mean they are smoking. They could point at any woman, and the women instantly just take them. They ignore me for the first couple months, treat me like I’m just any other person. Which I’m fine with actually, but for some stupid reason, they decide ‘huh today’s the day I confess my eternal love for this trash bag’.”

At this the woman broke out laughing, you kind of hope it wasn’t because of you being a trash bag, and rather that she was laughing at how dumb the scenario was. Alas, you continued.

“I’m like, completely baffled, especially considering that this is coming from like, three guys, at the same time. I don’t know what it was that happened, but suddenly they just see me as their freaking wife. It’s like… a stupid romantic comedy, except it’s not as fun as it looks like.”

She continued to laugh as she waved for you to continue. Again, you were hoping it wasn’t directed at you.

“Then they try to do all these kinds of things to me, like pulling me around like a rag doll. Showing me how to do things, because ‘no that is the wrong way’, when really it doesn’t matter which way it is, it’ll still do the same exact job! And then there’s just the fact that they think I’m into them as well, as if I’ve told them ‘I love you’ so much. Their ego is through the freaking roof.”

The woman was almost in hysterics drying tears that were streaming, now luckily out of joy.

“I mean one of them has been really cool about it, saying ‘hey I just want to be friends and see where that goes’. He’s actually been treating me fairly well now that I think about it. Except for that he once reported me for having sexual intercourse with a third party, which goes against our job contract for some stupid reason, only for the other guy to be my brother. First of all, ew, second of all, disgusting, and third of all, I’m not into that kinky shit.”

She clutched her stomach, heaving for air. Almost as if she had an asthma attack, the other passengers gave you some weird looks, making you creep back in your seat a bit. Being the centre of attention wasn’t always as fun as it sounded, especially now.

“Oh my god! You should to stand-up comedy or something, that is some quality content you’ve got. Sorry for laughing it’s just, god, they sound like something out of a fictional story or something. Romantic comedy, hah! You’ve got that right!”

If you weren’t the one that was in this situation, you’d probably be laughing as well. It was in fact quite comical when you thought about it, and sounded like a really cheesy romantic comedy, indeed. 

Your attention seemed to be drifting though, as you could see the blinking of yellow and white lights that were just outside your aircrafts window. The city came into view and you weren’t sure how to feel. Seemed like you would be landing soon, how neat. The turbulence was long gone, and the woman was in a chipper mood.

“We’re almost there.” You said calmly, looking out the window. A neutral expression remained on your face, even if you wanted to grimace a bit. The last time you’d been there, was when you’d buried you parents… Maybe it was time to redecorate their grave a bit? You’d been the one to pick out the stones, dark obsidian that somehow always managed to shine in the sun. 

Back in the good ol’ days, you’d had a fascination with stones and gems, which had been shifted by a new fascination and interest for the fine art that was Nordic languages. Even though you currently only knew two, and you only considered yourself fluid in one of them, while the other was a bit broken, it was still a pretty cool interest. At least, that’s what you thought.

It was dark out, and looking at your phone, the display said it was way past midnight. You were dead tired, but for some reason, you could never really fall asleep while flying. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you had used to have to go from relaxed to a panic in seconds if something were to happen. But you digress, right now it was important to get yourself ready for landing.

“I guess we are.” The woman almost whispered, making you hum a bit. The conversation the two of you had was fairly pleasant, even if you felt a bit awkward, it was always nice making someone laugh.

“You still live here?” She asked, and you shook your head. You had once, but that felt like ages ago. So much had happened since you’d spent your days pent up in your room, sleeping, listening to music and chatting with your friends. Now that was a distant memory. Wait.

Hold the phone.

You didn’t live here.

A loud ding went off in your head, as did the speakers on the flight, indicating that the pilots were about to inform you that you’d be landing soon. Fuck, you didn’t live here, and you hadn’t even booked a hotel room! How could you have forgotten that?!

Mentally beating yourself up for forgetting, you sent your brother a message that said “Guess who forgot to book a hotel room. Sleeping on the streets tonight, can’t wait to fight for a cardboard box to live in.” An immediate reply, was he expecting you? 

“Hahah, k. Done, check your inbox.” A slight hope blossomed in your chest. Your brother was the best! Swiping around a bit, you found your mail, opened it up and hoped for a message saying ‘Hello, you will be staying with us tonight!’ From a five-star hotel. Alas it was a link to a company you didn’t really recognize.

Clicking on it, you saw a huge variety of boxes that were fairly cheap. Oh thank god, your brother was the literal fucking best. Ha Ha! What a comedian!

“Real funny, I do really need a hotel room or something though.” You typed back, trying your best not to sound very rude. But you were pretty unamused by his form of comical reply to your distress. Way to go big bro, taking great care of your little sister and everything. 

“I can’t really pay for it sis? I don’t have your card or passwords, and don’t you dare try and send an image of it over your phone, I know you were about to, but do not do that you idiot. You have to do that on your own, like physically ask if they have any rooms, but I doubt they’ll let you do that when it’s so late… try to at least?”

Slowly putting your wallet, that you’d fished out of your purse, back into your purse you realized you’d ignored the woman next to you. “Oh! Uhm, I just had to message my brother. No, I don’t live here anymore. Sold our house like, about 8-9 months ago?” You’d been with Overwatch for about 7 months and your parents had… perished a couple months prior to that.

Not that you remembered the dates, days just seemed to be blending with each other. Was it really yesterday that you’d gone out? It felt like weeks ago. “That’s alright, I can get that way when it comes to work. Takes all of my attention, both my daughter and husband hates it, which is why I’ve inflicted a ‘No phone’ policy after 18:30. Really helps, I’m kind of addicted to this little device, maybe I need to go to therapy or something!”

Giggling loudly, you felt as if there was something dropping in your stomach. Addiction… She wouldn’t know what that meant unless it smacked her in the face. Not that you could really blame her for not knowing that you were… a bit of an alcoholic, but it still stung like a bitch when she undermined people with addictions.

And the fact that she said ‘therapy’ as if it was something bad. Not that you’d particularly enjoyed going there for a couple weeks, only to quit because you didn’t like your psychologist, but even if it hadn’t seemed like your thing, it felt good to talk to a professional. Therapy did help people, maybe not you so much, but it did help.

Not that you were going to yell at her or anything, but at least now you knew what kind of person she was. Seemingly a neurotypical one.

“So you don’t live here, huh? What’re you doing back then? Visiting family?” Yeah, you were. Among other dead friends. “Yup, do you know if there are still a flower shop in the east centre of town? You know, the one with all the fairy lights?” You asked, trying to avert further questioning. 

Not like you wanted to say ‘I’m here to visit dead people.’ That didn’t sound like a particularly delightful conversational matter. So you were going to talk about flowers. Flowers was safe, flowers were calm.

“I think it is? At least there’s lots of them in the south eastern parts, my husband bought some from this one very cute shop, a dozen roses, how lovely right?” Yes, lovely… Tugging a bit at your belt, you felt a bit solemn. You kind of wanted someone to give you flowers, and always treat you with endearment. 

As luck would have it, you’d wasted those opportunities in favour of feeling ‘free’. You knew you weren’t ready, but it wasn’t like you didn’t want to be. You wanted to be healthy, you wanted to have a normal life, there was so much you wanted that you just couldn’t have. In time maybe, but as of now, not really.

A loud ding was heard yet again, and you could feel the air craft descending. Time to enter a crowded airport and try to find a hotel on your own. Great going, you were going to be living in a card box, just like your brother had oh so graciously helped you find.

 

“I’ve landed.” The com link was back online, and it’d stay online for as long as possible. Surely it’d be turned off when you were sleeping or in the bathroom, but still, it was to stay on. Not receiving an answer back, you just gave off a little huff. What if you’d been in danger and required assistance? You’d have died.

“Anyways, I’m just going to head outside soon.” Still no fucking answer. Incredible! Not that you could really blame the guy, he must be sleeping, it was around one in the morning. Putting your face in your arms and harshly rubbing your eyes of sleep, you felt so insanely tired. If you didn’t get a bed soon you’d honestly pass out standing.

Maybe one of the cafés at the airport was open during the night? Or was that too much to hope? You knew the bars were open, but you remembered where alcohol had taken you yesterday. Maybe you shouldn’t drink today? Even if the urge to have some sweet intoxicating drink was getting to you, finally your mind was in control. 

Now was not the time to drink, especially considering you’d made such stupid decisions the previous day. As of today the only drinks you were going to have was espresso shots. God, that was the only shot you needed right now, something to give you energy and fast.

None of the café’s you walked past seemed to be open, which meant, that you needed to head towards a bar. A lump in your throat was forming, maybe you ought to… no you needed a shot of caffeine. The only shot you needed, you were on a mission damn it!

Slowly heading towards the bar, you sneak a peek at the people sitting on the bar stools happily chatting away, quite loudly at that. A mantra is repeated in your head ‘Espresso shots is the only shot I need, espresso shots is the only shot I need’. 

Eyeing the bartender, who looks about as tired as you, you take notice of the beautiful metal coffee maker. ‘Oh thank god’ you think as you walk your ass over to the counter. Everybody seems to be giving you a look, the bartender included. What, you never seen a dead ass tired veteran?

“Excuse me,” Polite today, eh, tonight? Aren’t you? “I’d like an espresso shot, and a black coffee to go.” Because you still needed to pick up your luggage. The bartender nodded and started working the machine. The two bar-goers on your left and right, seemed to really be staring at you, making you take deep breaths. 

You couldn’t really beat them up for staring, but you were just so damn uncomfortable. Maybe you should fake a call? But from who? A mom? A daughter? Or a potentially huge and muscular boyfriend that was going to pick you up at the airport?

Pretending that your phone was calling, you pressed it to your ear, hoping they didn’t notice the dark screen. “Hello babe, I just landed!” You said loudly, trying to get the guys to take a hint. “You’re waiting outside? Oh sweets, you didn’t have to!” Wow, you needed to practice your acting, this didn’t sound natural.

“Oh, it went well, just some turbulence. Yeah, no I wasn’t scared. Jees… But it would definitely have been far less scary with you there yeah.” Okay, this was a bit better, teasing sounded more natural. “I’ll be out in a minute, I just need to get my coffee, I’m dead tired. No! I am not addicted to the stuff… I just, really strongly love it.” 

The bar goers were still staring at you, more so, maybe you needed to up the ante? “Okay, so how did training go? Wow… You’re a fucking beast you know? Need help ordering the plane tickets? Or is the boxing club doing that for you? I think you did great babe, I mean seriously I’ve seen your fights, and just, wow, you get me so…”

Hot and bothered? That was what you wanted them to interpret at least. Making it sexual, making it uncomfortable for people to listening in on. “Babe, really? Heh, you are so kinky, you know that? Ah! There are people around, I can’t say that on the phone!” Oh boy, you were good.

The espresso shot was handed to you, as the bartender went back to working on the black coffee. What was taking him so long? You wouldn’t bother him about it though, everyone has rough days that makes them work a little bit slower. “What was that? I got my espresso shot now, just two seconds.”

Downing the shot, it burnt your tongue and throat a bit, and you coughed loudly. Pretending that you muscular boxing champion boyfriend on the phone sounded concerned you quickly voiced a few ‘no it’s okay’s and that you were fine. 

“Just a little hot. Yeah, not hotter than you though. Almost though, hahah. What was that? Oh, you’ve missed me? Well I’ve missed you, you and your big coc-” Lucky you, the bartender cut you off, loudly saying the price of the two drinks and handing you the black coffee to-go. 

“Here you go, oh babe, I’m heading out now, see you soon! Love you!” You said walking off with the coffee. None of the bar goers headed after you, you’d just been a paranoid mess again hadn’t you? Not much about that could be done though, you were just going to have to go with it.

Taking a big sip of your black coffee you felt at peace. “Okay, soldier, what the fuck was that? Didn’t I tell you to only use the com link when you were in danger?” You spit the coffee out of your mouth, close to spilling all over yourself. You’d forgotten to turn off the com link when you’d pretended to call your fictional boyfriend hadn’t you?

“Uh…” Was all you could say wiping your mouth with your hand as you examined your shoes that had taken a bit of your spit-coffee. “Highly unprofessional, I thought you realized this was a mission and not just a vacation.” Well, you had been in potential danger so who was he to judge?

“Yeah, sorry, just some dudes looking at me, making me uncomfortable and stuff… Forgot to turn off the com link sorry.” You said, as some passer-byers gave you a weird look. What? Had they never seen someone talk to themselves?

Even if you were tired, and you enjoyed solitude, it was nice having a conversation with someone, even if the person on the other end was a complete and total prick. “Did I wake you up?” You asked while heading for the area where you could pick up your luggage.

“No. I was doing paperwork when you disturbed me with some stupid act.” Good, you liked disturbing him. Making him uncomfortable was going to be the highlight of your day, he deserved it after all. Especially considering what he was putting you through.

“Oh, so you didn’t enjoy the sexual innuendo?” A sly smirk adorned your lips as you took another sip of your coffee. Maybe it was because you were too tired to care, or maybe the sudden caffeine burst was making you like this, but you were going to enjoy putting him through hell and back.

“I’d refrain from speaking like that if I were you, this is supposed to be your emergency line.” Sure was, but it was also your revenge line as of now. How the plans were roaming through your head, every way you could make him uncomfortable and annoyed. Singing loudly, talking about really kinky shit and discussing your digestive system. You know things that would annoy any person in the world to no end.

“Yeah, yea… You know you could’ve cut me off or something if you didn’t want to speak like that on the line. This was on you.” All you could hear was a long hard sigh, making you grin like a maniac. If people didn’t think you crazy before, they sure did now.

“Just… Don’t do that again.” Nope, you were definitely doing that again. “What, you don’t enjoy my acting abilities? Oh how you wound me Morrison. I’ll have you know, my drama teacher would have given me a great score for that perfect conversation.” Heh…

“Why are you giving me shit, soldier? Look, I can choose not to help you out of a dangerous situation or not, you should have some damn respect.” He had a point, but you were not going to let him win this conversation. “Mhm, I hear you, but consider this. You make my life hell; I make yours just the same.”

As you spotted your luggage on the bond you grabbed the duffel bag and hoisted it on your back. Not like it was very heavy, but it was still making you groan a bit. “Aren’t you still in public, soldier? Talking like this in front of civilians, you should really re-examine your childish schemes.” 

“Do you honestly think I’d get embarrassed by this? No one here knows me, and frankly, I don’t care.” Oh frisky weren’t you? Heading towards the exit, you saw the omnic scanning people’s chips. Which you didn’t have. Fuck, how could you have forgotten to insert the thing before you left?!

Every citizen that was allowed to travel cross country needed to have a chip inserted in their arm to be able to be identified. As you’d been in the military, the more secretive part, you couldn’t afford to have been identified, meaning that you weren’t allowed to have a chip inserted in your arm. 

This was quite the predicament. “Shit…” You said, forgetting that 76 was on the other line. “What was that? You know, you ought to show some damn respect!” He was angry, but you didn’t have time for that. “I don’t have my chip…” you whispered, hoping he could hear you.

“What was that?” The concern in his voice was almost convincing you that he actually cared for you, but you knew better. “I didn’t have my chip inserted after… you know. I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do.” 

“Are you joking?” How could you joke about such a serious matter?! There was no way you’d be able to get off of this airport now, you were an idiot, a complete and utter buffoon! Seating yourself on the leather seats, chugging the coffee, you made a million plans. 

“Do you really think I’d be joking about this? There isn’t any way to get past security without a chip without me being deemed a criminal. I left it back on base. Fuck…” You said ripping a bit at your hair. “Fine, give me a bit of time.” He said and you were about to scream, ‘to what?! Travel all the way over to hand me one fucking chip?!’

“What are you planning on doing?” You asked, more to yourself than him really. “Waking your brother. The thing you got in your stomach, can function as more than just a tracker. You can play it off as getting a ‘special insertion’. But you really ought to work on your acting abilities if they are going to believe you.”

Oh. 

OH.

That was actually a great plan. 

Except for the part about waking your brother and making him aware of the mission you were on. “Don’t. If you wake him up, the mission will be compromised. I’ll uh… guide you or something. If you can just access the tracker, I’ll walk you through it.” 

“You remember your identification code in your head?” Yeah, who didn’t? It was like 20 different numbers and then there were some letters you needed. Not too difficult to remember if your life depended on it. “I do. Now access whatever it is you need to.”

Hearing some clicks on the other line, you were sure he was finding whatever it was he needed to find in order for you to identified. “If one number is wrong, you’ll be taking in for questioning, you know that?” He mused, as you felt anxiety grow inside. Was it 1 or 6 first? 

“Uh… yeah, just… uh.” Now you were nervous, great! “Fuck.” You said scratching your arm hard, creating angry red streaks along your arm. Slowly voicing each number, you just hoped you remembered correctly. If you didn’t you were fucked.

“It’s blank.” He said and you bit the insides of your cheek. Fuck, had they deleted you from the system?! That shouldn’t be possible, and you knew you’d told him the right numbers. “Is there any way you could fill it with something or? A function like that?” You asked as you heard an exasperated groan. “I’m not a fucking magician, if you just hadn’t-” he stopped his angry rant.

“What the fuck is this?” He asked loudly, cutting himself off. “What? Was it wrong?” Because it wasn’t supposed to be, if you remembered correctly. “No, it was… correct…” Then what the fuck was the problem? 

“I just… I didn’t…” Didn’t what? Okay, now you wondered what the fuck was wrong. “Tell me what the fuck is wrong, or you know what, don’t. Am I clear to go?” Because even if you wanted your curiosity to get the best of you, you were too tired to let it. Now all you longed for was a bed. You’d get answers in the morning.

“I thought they… Wouldn’t show those… numbers,” He coughed loudly, and it seemed like he tried to gather himself, “Yes, you’re clear.” Good god, but now you were actually interested. What numbers were there? Your income? Tax? Whatever those numbers were, you’d find out.

“Okay, you know what, fuck it, I have to ask. What kind of numbers?” You said heading for the exit. It sounded uncomfortable, wait had the military allowed to show the numbers of… missions? No, they were secret, so that couldn’t be it.

“Just some… Measurements of sorts.” Measurements? Of sorts? What?

It was like something flashed through your mind.

Bodily measurements.

Yeah okay, if you weren’t tired before, you were definitely close to stooping now.

Standing in line to the exit, you were close to nodding off. At least you’d gotten your answer, but god at what cost. Your boss now knew how thick you really were, how much you weighed, how tall you were, and your physical abilities. Thank god for that, right?

The line was slowly moving forward, the omnic scanning everyone. You needed a bed, or something to hold on to, anything to keep you standing up. Your vision was darkening a bit and you felt yourself almost slip forward. 

Shaking your head a bit, you tried to keep yourself upright. It was getting more difficult keeping yourself standing, you were forcing yourself to keep awake. You didn’t even notice the omnic taking a hold of your arm, checking for your chip. 

When it was negative, they took your other arm, which you actually did notice. When it yet again turned negative, they gave you a look. At least you believe they did, some omnics expressions were harder to read than most others. 

“It’s here.” Lifting your t-shirt, you pointed to your stomach. Hoping that the omnic wasn’t going to sound the alarms or anything. They just let out a loud sigh. Sorry my omnic, sorry for making your job harder. Even if you don’t need sleep, it must be exasperating having to deal with difficult travellers.

“It’s supposed to be in your arm…” They said, and you nodded, but alas he scanned your stomach and then you. “Putting the chips in special places… Makes my job a bit more difficult.” You were really sorry and feeling guilty. 

Though that didn’t really matter, you felt a bit lightheaded and needed to steady yourself. “You alright?” the man behind you asked, and you nodded brushing it off as ‘just being tired’, which you were of course. 

Heading out the exit, you steadied yourself a bit. “What was that? Did you drink again?” Wow 76, way to go, you’re the nicest person alive. “First of all, bitch, second of all, I’m just really freaking tired and I’m going to faint if I don’t get any sleep really soon.”

“Where are you staying?” Nowhere? On the streets? Cardboard box? “Uh… I may or may not have forgotten to book a hotel room.” At that he gave you an exasperated sigh. “I’m sorry, if you were pushed into this situation you would probably have forgotten important shit like this as well!”

“I would definitely not, I’m too thorough to actually fuck shit up like this. I would have made a plan, not forgotten my goddamn chip and booked a hotel room in seconds.” Bitch. “Well, not everyone can react as well as you, stop giving me a hard time. I don’t even want to do this, and I’m used to my superiors actually making the plans. I just go through with them.”

Where you blaming him? Yes. Was it really your fault? Yes. Did you care? No.

“Don’t fucking worry though, I got enough cash to get me into any hotel room.” You said, yawning loudly. “And here I thought I was dealing with a professional.” He said, which irritated you. Not that you were the best, but you weren’t the worst either.

“Fuck off.” Heading towards a hatchet that said ‘cheap hotel rooms’, you were a bit pissed off that he was treating you like a kid. Yes, you’d made mistakes, but who the fuck didn’t?

The omnic behind the counter seemed to be working away, and you didn’t feel like bothering them. But you needed a bed, fast. “Excuse me?” You said, trying to be very kind. If anyone could help you out of this situation, this omnic was the one. They looked up at you, and asked what you needed help with.

“I forgot to book a hotel room before I travelled, and I know it’s very late, but I’d really like to have a place to sleep tonight.” A hand ruffled up your hair a bit, and you heard 76 scoff. What? You did need a place to sleep, and being rude would get you nowhere.

“Is there something specific you’re looking for?” They asked in a chipper tone, making you feel a bit better. “Bed, bathroom, internet and breakfast? Oh and can you book it for two weeks? If that’s possible?” 

“Of course, miss.” Thank goodness. “Does the rating matter?” They asked and you felt yourself look in thought. Not really? But at the same time you wanted a soft bed. “As long as the bed is good I don’t really mind.” Smiling at the omnic, they seemed to be tapping away at their screen. 

“Okay so, I’ve booked you into this hotel. Best bed rating, that also lets you check in this late, and stay for two weeks. If you’re not feeling satisfied with it, please contact me on this number, and I’ll re-book you.” They said and you felt as if your soul was leaving your body. Issue number… something, solved!

“Thank you so much, do you know where I can catch a ride?” You asked as they made a couple more clicks on their screen. “There’ll be someone picking you up shortly, is that your only luggage?” They asked, referring to your bag and purse.

“Yes, thank you so much! You’re the best, is there some way I can thank you, or?” You asked as they handed you a device with a clear screen. “Yes, please leave a rating!” At that you smiled, stars appearing on screen. Giving them five stars, the best score, you handed it back as another omnic showed up.

They were your escort, and you actually felt quite pleased with yourself. ‘Oh I’m Soldier 76 and I don’t think this stupid ex-soldier can handle themselves’ jokes on him, you were actually great at handling yourself. 

Putting your phone to your ear you pretended you were talking to him through that instead of your com link. “Guess who managed to fix their little issue, all on their own!” You said victoriously. “Professional, hah! I’m the best there is.” 

“Keep telling yourself that.” Was he really being sarcastic? Yeah, he was a rude fucker, but it was fun showing off your skills and proving him wrong. Humming, you let the omnic take your luggage and put it in the trunk before opening the door for you. Thanking him, you seated yourself and put on the belt. Safety first!

“So…” What were you going to say now? You knew if you didn’t continue forcing yourself to hold a conversation, would result in you falling asleep. It wasn’t your fault your mind was fuzzy, that you were a bit delusional, and that you felt like teasing 76.

“What’re you wearing?” 

“You’re tired.”

“It’s not like I can fall asleep in this cab babe, keep me company. I need to stay awake.”

Entertainment, that’s what you needed, and this was grade A entertaining. At least in your opinion.

“Fine. Just not that kind of conversation though.” 76 said, making you pout a bit, “Well, what do you think we should talk about. I don’t feel like talking about work, I mean what’s the fun in explaining which method you need to use to get dirt off of tables?” 

“Then what do you want to talk about.” Were you really going there? “Are we really having this conversation? ‘What do you want to talk about?’, ‘I don’t know, what do you want to talk about?’. I thought I brought up a really nice theme here, but fine, guess we have to talk about something else.”

Thinking a bit, the cab was off, swinging left and right. “Uh… What’s your opinion on pineapple on pizza?” You asked, hoping to start a discussion. “It’s fine.” Oh wow, way to go, great conversation. “Okay… Uh… You’re not giving me anything to work with here.”

“Well, I’m not the one that wanted to talk.” Fuck you, he was just trying to get your goat now. “Favourite animal?” You asked, hoping that’d spark something, “Don’t really have one.” Was he not going to ask you what kind of animals you liked? Fine, you’d keep up the conversation yourself.

“I like a lot of animals at least. Like, an old friend of mine had an uncle that owned a farm, during the summer we tended to travel there. They didn’t have a lot of animals, but they had a somewhat vast variety of them. I especially enjoyed the goats and sheep.”

“I used to live at a farm.” Woah, really? “You did? That’s really cool, did you have cows? Horses?” That was pretty fucking nice, especially considering you’d unlocked some kind of backstory. “Yeah.” Okay, back to square one you guess.

“Got any interesting hobbies?” That was actually hoping for a bit much. What did he even do when he had time off? Did he even have time off? “Not to report.” Alright, you had been asking for a lot.

“Because I particularly enjoy… Uh…” Drinking? You really had to set some priorities here. You didn’t really have any interesting hobbies yourself, and now you were taking too long, and it was getting very awkward. “Dancing I guess? It’s been a while since I’ve had time to myself, like to just focus on me and do fun things.”

What had you even done before you’d been in the military? Wait, you did have something! Cooking and baking, but it’s not really interesting per see. “I don’t even remember what I used to do? I had so many hobbies growing up and now it’s just, time off? Time to sleep for 10 hours and eat food that’s bad for you before going back to work.”

At that he didn’t really say anything, not that he had been before. “I feel like I should be doing something? Like I’m already working and managing that, but I kind of feel like I should be climbing the tallest mountain, travel around the globe or whatever the fuck you’re supposed to do to feel accomplished.”

Staring out the window, you saw some familiar shops pass by. You were back in town, you guess. As useless as ever, more so now considering you had nothing to show for. 

“I don’t know… I just feel like I should be doing something?” Scratching your head, you took the last sip of coffee, which was already cold. “Aren’t you already doing something? Look, if you manage to infiltrate Talon, you’ll be saving the world. Isn’t that enough for you?”

It should be? But it felt like you were missing out on something big, the normal life sounded so pleasurable, yet here you were. “It should be, but I’m not sure…I kind of wanted to do something different with my life, you know? What would life be like if I was completely normal?”

A bit of rustling was heard on the other end, and a sigh. “I ask myself that question every single day. I have no idea what I would even be doing… Hopefully I’d have a family or something along the lines.” He said and you suddenly felt like you’d opened the closet leading to Narnia. 

You’d just entered a new, foreign territory, and were taking your first baby steps. “Yeah? I’d have loved to have a family. A normal life with normal issues. How many kids do you want?” Because you wanted one… You think? It honestly depends on the other person.

“As many as possible. A large family, that’s kind of what I’ve always wanted. Lots of people that care for each other.” That sounded rather nice. People that loved each other unconditionally, cared for each other and just… Treated each other kindly.

“Sounds nice…” Was that really all you could say? It did sound nice though, but it wasn’t going to keep the conversation alive. “You want to live on a farm with them?” You asked, mentally beating yourself up for most likely stepping out of line.

“Yes. I’d enjoy that.” OH, you were just the best conversationalist of all time weren’t you? Good job you, you’d managed to keep up the talking. 

“I think I’d want to study first. You know, before completely settling down.” That came out of nowhere, what were you saying? “What would you like to study?” Was he really, finally, asking you questions? You were just getting better and better at this ‘talking to other people’ thing.

“I don’t know… I think I want to study to become a nurse, or maybe marketing? Become a fully-fledged business woman and all. Would I even fit that? No idea, maybe… journalism? I’ve become so great at finding information, that it’d probably make a bit of sense at least. But as I said, no idea…”

Relaxing into your seat, you tried to pinch your arm a bit to keep awake. Your eyelids were getting heavier, and you honestly had to fight to keep your head up. “Fuck, I’m almost falling asleep.” You mumbled.

“Do not fall asleep now. You can rest soon, but as of right now you need to keep awake. Keep talking to me, alright?” Did he enjoy your talks? Or was it just so you wouldn’t compromise the mission. You believe it was the latter, even if you hoped for the first.

“Fine… I don’t really know what else there is to talk about. Other than my ambitions for the future, there isn’t a lot of interesting things going on in my life.” Not entirely true, but you weren’t going to beat yourself up about it. Right now you were just, sleepy. “Don’t you dare.”

It was as if he could see you almost falling asleep. Or maybe it was the fact that you hadn’t started talking again. “I wasn’t going to. Can we talk about something more energetic or whatever?” What would bring energy? Angry discussions?

“Hanzo handed me the Roomba today, said something about you leaving it in his room. Care to elaborate on that?” This made you jump up a bit. Were you finally getting your sweet prince back?! “Holy shit really?! I’ve missed him!” You exclaimed loudly, unknown energy returning to your core.

He was good, too good. “What was the Roomba doing there in the first place? Why didn’t you bring it back?” How to say this… Hm.

“Well, he told me to stay away. I respected his decision. Oh, how I’ve missed my sweet prince, keep him warm, feed him lots of dust and don’t you dare download some shit music. He’s only allowed to sing happy songs or background music!”

“Why the fuck did he tell you to stay away? What did you do?” It’s not liked you had actually done something, more or less what he was doing. “So, he said I shouldn’t come near him unless I loved him and like, I’m not really looking to date anyone right now, so… I stayed away, which was kind of difficult considering I lost my baby. Now you take care of him, you hear me?”

“Listen, I don’t give two shits about your Roomba,” Giving off a loud gasp, you felt a bit hurt, “But what the fuck is going on between him and you? ‘Stay away, unless you love me’ that’s not professional at all. Also, you and Jesse, what is going on with that? And Genji? And Hana? What are you doing?”

What? Whatever did he mean? You weren’t doing squat, and Hana sure as hell wasn’t interested in the likes of you. She’d made that sort of clear back at the club when she hadn’t pretended to be dating you. Or… Were you just being petty? Did she like you?

You’re reading too much into that aren’t you? 

“Why, whatever do you mean?” Feigning innocence. “Stop playing dumb, it doesn’t suit you. What is going on? Tell me.” This was not the kind of talk you’d wanted, but apparently he deemed it necessary.

“So… Jesse loves me, Hanzo’s infatuated with me, Genji seems to have a crush or something on me but we’re currently just seeing where ‘things are taking us’, I don’t even know why you grouped Hana up with them, she just wants to be friends.” 

A loud groan erupted over the com link, which made you want to huff and groan yourself. Why the fuck did he act like he was the one in your situation? “You didn’t follow my advice.” Technically you had, you’d tried to get them to sleep with others, thinking that it’d make them not want you. But see where that had taken you.

Another country, on a mission, to infiltrate a dangerous fucking organization, through an old flame that you didn’t even remember, or else your brother would fucking die. Your little plan had backfired so badly. All because you didn’t know how to tell people to fuck off. Maybe you needed to be more open about your feelings?

“How do you think I was put into this situation? Also, could you kindly tell them all to fuck off? Except for Hana of course… When I think about it, they were the ones who pushed me to this point, so. Please.” Where you blaming them? Yes. Was it really, truly, their fault? Not really, but it felt better to beat someone else up than yourself.

“You should have told me.” Snorting a bit, you felt mildly irritated. “What would you have done? Beaten them off with a stick?” 

“I would have reminded them how badly they fuck up people’s life when they push someone into doing something they don’t want to, just because they feel a certain way or want something very badly. It’s not alright, what they’ve done to you. Not only is it against our contract but- “

Wait… What contract?

“Pardon, what contract?” 

“When you were hired, there were certain terms we had to keep. Everyone signed the contracts, did you not know?” What terms? No you did not know. “The conditions were clear, no sexual or romantic relations with you, no requests involving such things, we are not allowed to harm you, unless it was in self-defence, etc.”

There it was. 

You knew you weren’t supposed to be treated in such a way, and here was proof, evidence. 

Great.

“Kick their ass for me Morrison.”

“I’ll talk to them.”

Not good enough. If 76 wasn’t going to kick them, you were certainly going to. You just needed to finish this stupid mission and you’d be on your merry way.

“Please inform them that I’m pissed off at the very least. If they try to give you any shit, remind them that I’m in no fucking condition to be dating anyone at this point. Right now, I’m in a place where I need to heal up, restore myself. Even if I was in love with anyone, they’d have to wait patiently for me to get better.”

 

Pulling a bit at your hair you tried to create some pain that’d alert your body that it was in fact not time to sleep. You didn’t even know what hotel you were supposed to be staying at, you hadn’t even paid attention to anything the clerk had said, had you? They had been saying things, that you hadn’t even gotten.

 

“We’re here miss.” 

 

Indeed, you were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Reader gets some rest… Just a lil hint for the next chapter, the title will be called "Reunion". So… Theres that ;))))))
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed the newest chapter, as always, I'm available on Twitter and Tumblr, so ya know… hmu ;))))
> 
> (Also, my OW account is called Nopersdopers (if anyone would like to play))
> 
> I just have one more exam and then my sole focus will be on writing and finishing this fic. There'll be a lot more updates, frequently, and they'll probably be even longer. 
> 
> (AND FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WANTING MORE HANZO, YOU GUYS WILL BE GETTING THAT, and also more gay don't fucking worry about that)


	29. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter before I decide who Reader will end up in the story, last chance to vote. You get 48 hours. Here's the link:  
> https://goo.gl/forms/aADDrEYSR6frT1Xr2
> 
>  
> 
> So far 226 people have voted, and this is how it's looking so far:
> 
> 1\. D.Va  
> 2\. Reaper  
> 3\. McCree

Opening the doors to the quaint café, a smell of burnt coffee beans and freshly baked goods hit your nostrils. Along with a sense of calm, tunes playing in the background. Even if Jazz wasn’t really your cup of tea, it almost always helped calm your nerves, and made you reach a state that you could describe as comfortable.

Now was not the time to think about Jazz, rather try to find the people you were looking for. Three old friends you were meeting for coffee. They’d accepted your invite for a cuppa joe, and here you were, a café you’d often visited in your youth. The same old walls, the horrible decoration that seemed to clash, a wave of nostalgia of all the time you’d spent here drinking cheap coffee and cramming to study for tests.

“Oh hey! Look there! There they are!” Scanning the room, you recognized the tone of the voice, a familiar, yet unfamiliar voice. Aged. 

Turning your head, you looked towards the direction of the voice, and sure enough, there they were. They had changed, a lot. All three women were seated, two lattes one water, at least that’s what you could make out of their orders considering the little distance towards their table.

Making your way towards them and the empty seat, a knot tied itself in your stomach. You were about to see how far they had come in their life, hear their stories. While you were left with little to nothing to actually show for.

One of your friends pulled up the chair for you and smiled warmly at you as you seated yourself. She had changed, a lot. A visible baby bump present through her beautiful white shirt. She was a year younger than you even, how the fuck was a 24-year-old already pregnant?

“Late as usual!” Huffed the person that had called you over. The ‘Busy bee’ of the group, she hadn’t really changed a lot, other than some more present wrinkles when she scowled and smiled. She’d gotten a far more professional look, and looked way more mature than you could hope to ever be.

“Sorry, slept in, had to visit uh… a couple graves yesterday… Anyways, hey everyone.” You said, shrugging off your jacket and placing it neatly on the back of your wooden, woven chair.

The communication link was still on, you’d even talked to 76 on your way over to the café, actually making pleasant conversation. Seems like your conversation a couple days back had opened up your relationship a whole lot more. You were finally finding pleasure in talking with him. Maybe it wasn’t because of the intimidating air he held around him? Or the fact that he wasn’t physically present and couldn’t choke you to death for being a smug little fucker?

“I heard, and remember, we’re here for you.” Your third friend, the ‘mom’ of the group said. Even though it seemed ‘Baby on board’ would be the true mom of the group now. ‘Busy bee’ gasped, held her hands over her mouth, as if she was about to spout some shit she couldn’t keep back. Knowing her, she was probably going to.

“Can we not talk about that? I’m sure she’s already uncomfortable enough, and it makes me really anxious, considering I’m – oh hey did I tell you I’m pregnant?!” Your friend ‘al preggo’ said, as if you already hadn’t noticed the second you’d laid your eyes on her. You were grateful for the theme switch; you really didn’t want to talk about how poorly you were doing emotionally when you hadn’t seen your friends in forever.

“You are? I’m so happy for you! How far along are you?” She beamed, as you made pleasant conversation with her over her baby. A waiter came over and took your order, a cup of dark roast coffee and a lemon pie with whipped cream.

 

“So, what do you do now a day? Still in the military?” Busy bee, whose real name was Joyce, Joy for short, though you always called her by her full name as you knew she could be the complete opposite of what her name tried so hard to inflict upon you. False advertising…

Choking on a bit of the lemon, accidentally pressing the fork too far back in your throat, you quickly moved it out of your mouth to grab the closest liquid like substance to relieve you of your pain. Which was the hot coffee, making you burn your throat.

Your ‘mom’ friend, Sarah, handed you ‘Al preggo’, Kate, ‘s water. Thanking whatever entity that she was present and acted upon instinct, you chugged the cold soothing water. Joyce could only snicker, while Kate stifled a giggle. Only Sarah acted worried about your actual pain, which you considered more painful than being shot. Well, only at the moment, getting shot was far worse.

Joyce gave your arm a light smack as she leaned across the table. “Clumsy as always, huh?” Yes, you were, but it didn’t help that she usually tended to trigger it. “I guess some things just never change, huh?” You only coughed in response, as Sarah on your left rubbed your back, and made a sign to the waiter that you needed some more water.

Static from the com link indicated that 76 was either turning off the com link, removing it, or something just brushing against it. However, he’d always give you some kind of heads up before turning it off. Which made you guess that he just put it on mute or something. You should probably have done the same, but you didn’t really mind him listening in on your little reunion among friends.

“Okay, but before you decided to choke, I asked you a question, what are you doing right now?” Without hesitation, your response slipped out of your mouth, “Your mom.” 

It was quiet, eerily so. Your friends stared at you in disbelief, as if you’d just told them the secrets of the universe. Other café goers within line of hearing had turned and looked at you, a waiter was standing completely still.

A really loud laugh interrupted the silence, well, not really. Considering the laugh was coming from your communication link ear piece, that was placed in your ear. Your trio of friends snorted and giggled, but your focus was not on them or the other people surrounding you. Rather the fact that you’d sent the stoic, serious and very intimidating man you called your boss, into a fit of laughter.

Grinning from ear to ear, you felt accomplished. If there was something you believe you never could, it was making 76 a laughing mess. Maybe he was over worked? Whatever it was you could feel something swell in your chest. That feeling could only be described as pride.

“You’re a fucking riot, but really though sweetheart, aside from coming with the most inappropriately fitting jokes, what are you doing with your life? You’re not living in town, that much I know, and you’re not wearing your uniform so…?”

Time to get serious, at least according to Joyce, but really you were just having a blast as you could hear 76 wheeze, trying his best to suck in air. You gave off a little snort, it was kind of cute actually, but a quick snap of Joyce’s fingers brought you back and you looked at her.

“Uh… I haven’t really pinned down the job title? It’s very varied, but I work for an organization that works to protect people, wherever justice, freedom, truth or dignity are denied. Kind of like Amnesty in a sense? Just less employees, and kind of varied work. Per example, right now I’m gathering information about other organizations for them.” 

This made 76 shut up instantly, maybe you should have gone over with him what the appropriate job description was? The information you’d shared however was pretty general, which meant, unless they felt like poking and prying, that you’d get off easily.

Joyce narrowed her eyes at you and pursed her lips, which you recognized as the look she gave before ending someone’s life. You swore to your maker that you needed a way to get out of this situation, as you weren’t sure what to respond if she continued to pry. Which she definitely would.

“Oh? What’s the name of the organization?” Looking at the white cup of now, cold, coffee, you could feel a sweat starting to form in the most uncomfortable places. “Uh…” Was all you could say, as you tried to grab whatever words could form in your mind. 

‘I’ve joined Overwatch, you know, the borderline illegal organization filled with super heroes and government secret, did you know I wash their underwear? Oh yea its interesting alright’. A good response, if you were allowed to actually tell them what you were working with and as.

“It’s still in its beginner phase, we’re working out a lot of things, but we want to make it big and all. I… Uh… Work with… marketing, and right now, I’m kind of going undercover to figure out other organizations secrets. I’ve gotten so much shit on other companies, you can’t even believe it. We’re a bit ‘hush, hush’ right now though, but I’m sure you’ll hear of us soon.” 

Wow, great response, A+ communicating skills.

“Intriguing… Anyways, if you ever need someone to commercialize for your company, you know, boost it a little, I get commissioned by several newspapers to write appropriate articles.” Joyce said as you felt yourself gape a bit. She’d always struck you as the journalist type, and here she was, living up to her name.

“What about you guys?” You asked, looking between the two remaining of your company. “Freelancer, but I’ve been taking on less work as not to stress myself or the baby. My wife’s taking up extra shifts as security, but other than that we’re doing pretty good.” Kate said as she took another sip of her water.

“Currently I’m employed as a teacher at the ‘Hills’ elementary school, English, Math and of course arts and crafts. Mostly teach first and second graders, but I dabble a bit with working at the middle school as well, but only as a substitute teacher for their gym class. No one’s been able to keep up with the children during their gymnastics… So many complaints from children and parents… God…” 

Sarah took a good last sip of her latte, gaining a little foam moustache. Joyce, however, didn’t seem done questioning you. “You dating anyone now? I heard rumours about you seeing someone.” 

Oh… Yeah, your last significant other… That hadn’t ended very well, and the break-up had been rather quick, as if you ripped off a Band-Aid. “Uh… I did have a guy I kind of dated a while back, like over a year back, not really seeing him anymore. We didn’t even date for so long, like three months I think? Most serious relationship I’ve been in.”

At that Joyce groaned, “Seriously?! Here I was hoping to throw the most bomb ass bachelorette party and you just kill my dreams… Wounds me, right here.” She said, pointing to her heart, which Sarah only rolled her eyes at.

“She’s just bitter, did you hear, she got her third pug three weeks ago? If you have too high standards, this is how you’ll end up,” Sarah started, as Kate cut her off, “But, she’s got a penthouse apartment, three cute dogs, an amazing and well paid job, great friends and can get as many dicks as she wants without committing. I think she’s done pretty well.”

This little comment turned into a heated debate between the three, and you could feel yourself ever so gently slipping out of the conversation. Focus drifting from listening to the trio, the jazz music that now felt like it played one song on repeat, the clinking of glasses and low chatter of the other café goers, to the little noises made over the communication link.

There wasn’t much noise, only some noises that seemed to fit with how 76 shifted. He didn’t seem to be talking to anyone, hell, not even training. Which meant that he was most likely working in that office of his, which still had a little dent on the table from his fit, where he’d chewed you out for doing stupid shit and where you’d been informed what you were actually doing.

 

It had been four days since you’d arrived, and done all the things you were ‘supposed’ to do before you’d feel like leaving for base yet again. You’d bought a couple hundred roses, laid one or two roses on your fellow soldier’s graves, and some on your parents’ gravestones. 

Alas, their gravestones were as beautiful as you remembered them to be. Not everyone had the liberty to be buried anymore, some people were, because of lack of financial support, frozen and smashed to pieces. Not the most fun thing to tell your children, ‘hey kids, your grandma is ice cubes now!’. Pretty traumatizing actually, when you think about it. Even if it was eco-friendlier. 

When you pressed a button on the gravestone, an image popped up, and there was your mom, a simple imagery of her, telling you how much she loved you, your brother, your father and her friends. ‘I love you’, a phrase that made you want to burst into tears, which you had. You’d turned off the communication link for an entire day.

You still couldn’t believe she, or your dad, were gone. Never to hug, kiss them or let them know how much you loved them. They loved you, and you them, you both knew that. But it was still not as satisfying as telling them and holding them close.

A loud damn brought you out of your dark thoughts and you regained focus on listening through the com link. A rustling of paper, and the creak of a chair. The sigh which you heard on the other line, could only sound as someone who were feeling defeated. Seemed as if you weren’t the only person who wasn’t okay at this exact time and moment.

Pressing a button on the ear piece, you turned it on mute. 

“Excuse me you guys, I’m getting a call from work, is it alright if I take it?” You asked, pretending that your phone was going off. They all told you that it was fine, and you grabbed your jacket and walked outside. 

The weather outside could only be described as sad. Not pathetic, but matching the mood. Grey clouds, trickling rain, cold. Luckily no wind, and little traffic, which meant that it’d be easier for you to listen in on what 76 was doing.

“-can’t do anything right, damn failure…” You heard him whisper, even if you feel thoroughly confused at that, you knew you shouldn’t have been. What, he was a person with feelings as well? He should be allowed to feel upset too.

Something crossed your mind, how he wasn’t so different from you. You were both, well, ex-military, both with a lot of duties, stress, things weighing down on your shoulders. You admit, even if you felt like you’d been treated like a dog toy, you hadn’t really acted accordingly towards the others either, not really treating them as kindly as you could. 

There’d been times where you certainly could have made better decisions, if only you’d taken some time to be compassionate and try to understand other people’s situation. It’s not easy when you’re stressed, when you got a lot of other things to think about, but then again it’s important to remember to actually care for other people.

Maybe you should ask how Morrison is doing? Maybe you should apologise to everyone, they all deserve it. Maybe you should apologise to yourself, for treating yourself so badly.

A couple hiccups on the other line had your heart strings wrenching. Who else knew how shit life could be? He’d been through more than you, even if your experiences were different. He didn’t even seem to be getting help, no one to support him. 

“Goddamn it to hell, you’re stronger than this Jack.” You heard on the other line, before you heard something crashing. “You’re stronger than this! You’ve been through worse! Stop it!” 

The familiar drop in your stomach whenever you felt sad was present. Gulping, swallowing spit, and pulling a bit on your hair, you continued listening in on 76. Something was breaking on the other line, it seems like Morrison was attempting to hurt something to get rid of the pain.

“It’s okay…” You whispered to yourself. “It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to feel upset.” 

Because life isn’t fair. 

You spend your whole life thinking you’re going to be better someday, but that day never comes.

There’s a lot you’re going to lose.

Money, battles, arguments good friends, pets, family members.

You’ll lie awake wondering if you could have done anything.

Anything to make a difference.

When there’s nothing you can do, because that’s just how life works. 

You’re there and then you’re not, you’re gone forever, in an eternal slumber, never to wake up ever again. You think you can do anything if you work hard enough, but then you’re gone. All your efforts seem wasted, because there’s no point if you’re just going to die anyways. If your life is just going to be erased.

 

But then, you remember all the good moments you’ve had, even when life has brought you down. When you thought you’d lost everything, who was there to cheer you up? When you thought you were alone in the world, who was there to make sure that you truly weren’t?

Who in the world has listened to your problems, helped you out in almost every situation, treated you like an actual human being with feelings? Allowed you to be sad, angry and happy.

 

Something electrical charged through your body, coursed through your veins, energized you. 

You’d realized just who.

Unmuting the communication link, you started talking. “Hey… Morrison? Can we talk? I need to talk to someone before I lose my mind.” Trying to sound as neutral as possible, as if you hadn’t just heard him probably destroying his office.

Rustling was heard on the other end, but you soon heard his response. Confirmation that you were allowed to speak your mind. “It was hard to visit my friends and parent’s graves. I felt like that should’ve been me, that I somehow was cheating death. There’s been several times where I’ve wanted to die, and then I was scared to do anything about it, and I felt weak.”

It was quiet, before you heard a little cough and 76 clearing his throat. “It’s not weak, soldier. I think that’s just you being strong, strong enough to resist release.” You licked your lips, and nodded to yourself. “When I’m all alone, without anyone, and I’m upset, I tend to forget that. Especially that people care about me and my well-being.”

Looking across the street you saw a woman walking her puppy, who was jumping around in the rain enjoying himself. If only you could see life through that puppies perspective, show as much love all the time.

“But, lately I’ve been reminded, that there’s actually people that care about me. I thought I’d lost that privilege. To have someone care about me.” A stray tear dripped on the wet asphalt. “Why would anyone care for someone like me? When I’ve done so much wrong in my life… Then I realize, that’s just how life works.”

“Listen, I’m sorry for the way I treated you, forcing you-” He started, but you cut him off. “I don’t blame you. Eh, well to be honest I sort of do, not to say I don’t understand it. You do what you have to do, so that everyone can be happy and free.”

“I’m not going to kick your brother out, I was just-” You were not letting him finish now either, “You do what you think is right for everyone. One life over a million is nothing. I’m being a royal pain in the ass about this whole ordeal, because I felt that it was unfair.

I’ve served my time, I’ve been through more than most people my age has, seen things I shouldn’t have ever needed to see. I might not have been dealt the cards I wanted in life, but for once, I’m willing to play. So don’t… Don’t beat yourself up about this, okay?

Because… Well, because you don’t need that. Morrison, I’ve been totally unfair to you, not even considered how you feel, just focusing entirely on myself. I’ve been selfish, and I don’t blame you for this. Life happens, but instead of trying to focus on every single bad thing, I should focus on the little things, that makes me happy.

Helping people, that’s what I’ve always wanted to do. That’s what I’ve been doing for a long time even, I just didn’t realize how big of a player in the game I actually am.” You gave off a shaky laugh, “I’m probably not making sense, just… I want you to know, that I’m going to give it my all from now on, my best efforts.”

 

“That’s all I could ever ask of you, and to be entirely fair, I haven’t treated you properly either, just… You remind me of myself, and I’ve always been – way too hard on myself? I guess I’m just projecting some of my stress and problems on you, and I apologise for that.” 76 said, as you gave a slight smile, directed at no one in particular.

“I agree; I should take you dancing sometime. You keep me away from alcohol, I teach you how to loosen up a bit. Until I get back… Will you save me a dance?” You said, as you ruffled through your hair. 

 

 

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea, just lotsa jokes for this chapter
> 
> As always, you can reach me on Tumblr or Twitter, just y uno, hmu for whatever
> 
> This is a very short chapter indeed, I'm sorry I've taken such a long time updating this. 
> 
> I've been very busy with work, school, university, training for military, love life, etc.  
>  (Ik, excuses excuses……) and I haven't had any inspiration lately, which is why this chapter is so short (it'll get better I promise/hope)
> 
> I've already written some endings, but considering I don't have much time left, I'll be focusing on finishing the main ending first. Best of luck!!


	30. Plan well done

“I mean, that’s my plan so far, what do you think?” You said as you drew yet another line with an old BIC pen you’d gotten for yourself at one of the art shops. Lately you’d felt a spark of inspiration which had made you want to pick up some good old recyclable paper and ink which wasn’t really ink. It had the same function, but it was made from a more reusable material making it more environmental friendly. 

“This was a mistake; I’m making the plan for you.” Morrison said as you scoffed loudly, it really wasn’t too bad of a plan you’d made. “You’re going to die before you get a word out, I’m not letting you do that.” 

Accidentally making a line where it shouldn’t have been, you grew a bit frustrated. It had taken you a couple minutes to find something to draw, and now you were fucking it up. “Are you doubting my abilities?” You said, as you tried your best to cover up your slip of the hand.

A dog, tied to the trash can on the other side of the road, just outside the corner store, was lying on the asphalt, enjoying themselves fine enough as their owner was inside. You’d decided to attempt to draw them, but found yourself fucking it up more and more. 

You weren’t a professional artist; it had been quite some time since you’d actually had the time to draw. But even so, you were annoyed by the fact that it wasn’t turning out the way you wanted to. The snout was too big, the legs were misaligned and you could do very little about it.

“I’m doubting your will to make it out alive. But for once, I’ll let you humour me. Go over it again,” Snorting at that, as you knew he’d let himself be humoured by your bad comedy more than once, you actually decided to go over the plan again.

“You’ll find a mission that you know will have to encounter Talon, specifically Reaper. I’ll be on the ‘same’ mission as them, working as an undercover agent for a non-existent organization gathering information. I’ll meet up with them, join forces, reminiscence about old missions etc.”

The dog ears came out looking too much like a cats, drawing Schaefer dogs is no joke. Maybe you should put as much effort into the plan as this drawing, as you’d promised, but honestly this plan would probably work.

“And then? You were going to let us do that?” He said, clearly frustrated and tired from listening to your previous debriefing. “You honestly think it’d been so easy?” You said, as you tried your best to fix the ears.

“I want you to attack me, I want you to treat me as though I’m part of Talon.” At this he grunted, “And who would ever even want to attack you? They all like you, no one wants to hurt you.” 

Thank whatever entity that existed or did not exist! You fixed the ear! It looked great now, which made you move on to the details, like the little mole you could spot on the side of the dogs’ eye.

“I want you to make them believe that I chose another side.” This was… Going to be more rough than you thought. You’d make every single person that loved you think you betrayed them, hurt them beyond redemption. But you knew you’d be doing it for their safety.

Maybe after it was all over, they’d forgive you? Probably not, but it was a burden you’d need to bare.

“Alright. I don’t like that plan; you realize they will hate you? That they will actually try to kill you?” You knew, you didn’t like it, but even with the several other thousand options, this part would be necessary… For now, at least.

“Then I’ll most likely be beaten to a pulp by either side, but no matter, they’ll want me after I give them my little gift. Not only the information I’ll have gathered from the mission, but also some other information I’ve been gathering.” 

The night you’d had to fight Morrison, your brother had downloaded information from Athena, which she hadn’t been able to detect. You were now holding onto a goldmine, of blackmail. Overwatch secrets were on your little memory stick, that was in your pocket.

“What kind of information? From who? Where?” He asked, and you could’ve sworn he grew suspicious of you. “Aren’t you just the curious cat today, huh? If you have to know, it’s not something you need to bother yourself with. Just intel on my various missions. Some pretty juicy gossip, you know, the usual.”

“Sounds like a bad deal, if I were Talon, I wouldn’t have hired you.” At this you snorted, “What’s so damn funny?” He asked, as if he didn’t already know. “Weren’t you the one that hired me?” You replied, almost innocently.

The doodle was done! And so was the dog’s patience to lie still, as it rose from its place and stretched. It hadn’t turned out half bad, even if had been quite some time since you’d actually spent time on drawing.

“That was solely because you seemed to be the best option for cleaning the base.” Humming, you started searching the streets for something new to draw. “Because I had the cleanest room in all of the base? You and I both know that’s not the case.”

Not that it was not thoroughly cleaned, it’s just that someone with actual cleaning lady experience would have been so much more sufficient than an ex-commander training recruits, who was secretly doing undercover missions for their government. It’s not like they knew of that, which meant that you were clearly not living up to anyone’s expectations.

“Tell me the real reason, and I’ll tell you something you want to know about me.” You smiled, it was so childish, but it was kind of fun to mess with Morrison. He wasn’t gullible, per see, but it was fun to see just how much shit he was willing to put up with before he cracked.

“You sounded and looked the least annoying out of all the candidates. Plus, you seemed like a nice enough person, until I actually got to know you.” Oh damn, that hurt you deep. “Ouch, you’re not exactly a dance among roses either. More like a thorn…”

“Anyways, tell me, how far have you gone with Reyes?” At this you choked on your own spit and started coughing. In a high pitched voice, you loudly announced a ‘what?!’. “Well, you two seemed real close, I want to know how far you’ve gone.”

“That’s private shit Morrison, also, I didn’t expect you to be this nosy. What, you think I have a hidden agenda?” You were a bit mortified at his question, but also a bit impressed that he’d actually dared to ask you. “I do feel like knowing what my ex has been up to. Or well, who, he’s been up to.”

Is he? Is he fucking serious? Reaper? His ex-boyfriend? 

Staring out the window in disbelief, you were unsure what to respond. Soldier 76 and Reaper? Dating?!

“You- and him?!” You managed to squeak, as you slapped your hand over your mouth. “Yes, a while back nonetheless, but you know, even if he’s a shitty ex, he was still a great boyfriend. You’re nice enough as well, I understand what he sees in you.”

“Uhm… From what I can recollect, we’ve only gone to the 3rd base I think? Like bj’s, but uh… Wow this is freaky to talk about uh…” At that Morrison snorted and you felt your face light up a beautiful shade of red. You had to remind yourself to be an adult and not get embarrassed by such things. But you couldn’t really help it.

“How long have you even known him? Hasn’t he even laid down his sick moves? What, he’s not good enough for you or are you just playing hard to get?” At that you actually took a bit of offense. You weren’t ready to enter a sexual relationship with anyone, you hadn’t been for quite some time, and even though you were turning 26 soon, you were still allowed to be a virgin.

“It’s not like he hasn’t wanted to, from what I can recollect. He’s just respected my decisions to not have sex. Not everyone wants that you know? Maybe I want to get to know a person before I do anything with them? Maybe I want to feel safe around them? I only do things that are comfortable for me, I’m not going to let myself be pushed into something like that.”

The fact that you were still a virgin was your own decision. The fact that you weren’t having sex right now, your own decision. Maybe one day you’d feel ready to be intimate with a person, or not, but that was your very own decision.

“Sorry.” Yeah, good, he realized his mistake, “It’s okay, but if you’re wondering if I’m going to do something more with him, you don’t have to worry about that, I think I’ve already decided what I’m going to do.”

“And what’s that?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Anyways, as I’ve successfully infiltrated Talon, I’ll gather whatever information I can get and leave as soon as possible.” Which could take everything from one week to months.

“Will you be coming back to base before that?” Staring out the window, at the passing cars, the previous spot where the dog had laid. dog who was no longer there. A baby stroller with a chatty mom and a happy father passed by. 

This was the cards you’d been dealt, and even though you weren’t happy with them, you were still going to play. Because these were your cards, and the only way you’d be able to get new ones at this point was by using them in the game called life.

“I have some unfinished business I have to take care of, so yes, I will be. I also expect to be getting some super cool weapon when I show up, you know, something I can use if necessary. It should be something I’m familiar with though, ask my brother about it.”

“You got everything in order, flight tickets, baggage, your ID chip? And remember, you have to be there early, like three hours, because what if they get pissed at you for having the ID chip somewhere else and something happens?” At this you had to stifle a giggle, he was acting like your dad.

“Alright, Daddy 76…” You whispered that last part but he apparently heard that, “I’m not your father.”

“Fine, sorry, it’s just nice having someone care about you.” You stopped for a bit, thinking long and hard about what had happened some days back, “You know I care for you as well? I don’t want you to get hurt either. I know I’m not the easiest to work with but, I hope you know that I know what I’m doing.”

“I thought I had everything under control as well, but you really don’t. We don’t have time to plan something else though, I’ll be ready to come rescue your ass at any given time though.” Nibbling on your lip, you let yourself smile a bit, “Thank you. Now, I should probably take a nap or something, maybe pack my bags for tomorrow. Two weeks fly by so fast… Anyways, what should I have for dinner?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted me to remind you of some Italian place? I don’t recall the name, but apparently they had some great pizzas, according to you at least.” It was nice to have people care for you, it was nice letting people care for you, and it was nice caring for others as well. 

“Their pizzas are the best, seriously!”

 

 

“How was the trip down memory lane, lil sis?” 

After a couple hours flying, and a cab ride back to the base, you were finally back. You’d expected the usual clean look, but were not as lucky. Trash, dust, grease stains and something sticky littered the bases floor, giving you a warm welcome. 

“Never mind that, who the fuck was put up for cleaning duty? No one?” You asked as you handed your bag to your brother, quickly ripping some hair from your skull pulling it back into the tightest ponytail on earth.

“Uh… That.” He said as his gaze diverted yours. “Well, no one really felt like cleaning after you left. So it’s kind of been piling up… Until it got so bad people stopped caring about it, and started throwing trash on the ground.” 

You stood completely still, closed your eyes, took a deep breath.

Tried to contain your anger the best you could.

Easily failing to do so.

“Who the literal fuck dares to fuck up my fucking floor!? Two fucking weeks and I come back to a fucking dump?! The people responsible for this will fucking pay with my fucking fist!” You scream out loud in frustration, ready to punch the shit out of someone.

“Please be quiet, what if Efi hears you?” Your brother says hushing you, “Then she’ll know how angry I am with the other CHILDREN WHO LIVE HERE!” 

 

Feeling your spit starting to froth you told you brother to put your bag back in your room, as you’d be cleaning everything all night. Which is pretty much all you did, all night. You saw little of the other people on base, not sure whether that was because they were out on a mission, or if they were hiding.

For their own sake, you hoped it was the latter. As you were pissed off, picking up garbage off of the floor, cussing out whomever had decided to treat the base like this. 

At least you could pick up your dear Roomba in Morrison’s office, which would make it easier to clean, but you were still pretty frustrated with the fact that they’d decided to fuck up the base like this.

 

In the distance you could hear people talking, and you were preparing yourself to give them an earful. Mentally preparing an argument, trying to think of as many comebacks as possible, but as you saw who it was, every possible thought vanished.

Gaping at the sight, narrowing your eyes, and then scrunching your nose. You could not believe what you were seeing. Gently pinching yourself with your rubber gloved hands, you felt a tinge of pain. You weren’t sleeping.

The two walking down the corridor where you were currently cleaning up trash, were none other than the two people you did not feel like seeing right now. So you decided to keep your mouth shut, and continued to pick up the trash. Becoming ‘invisible’.

It worked for the first couple of seconds. Until they passed you and took a long hard look at the person they’d just walked past. You wanted to jump on the next aircraft back to your old home town.

“Ah, so you’re back on base finally. This place has started to form a foul stench, good to see you finally cleaning it.” Hanzo said, looking as annoyed with you as ever. You thought he wasn’t going to interact with you at all.

Not after what he’d told you, and you looked between his and McCree’s face, who held a somewhat neutral expression. You were dumbfounded. “Uh… Yeah.” Was all you could mutter, still unsure what to feel about this whole situation.

“How was your trip?” He asked, and you were unsure how to deal with his casualness. You felt as though you weren’t allowed to even see this calm side of him, that wasn’t completely annoyed with you. 

“Uh… Fine? I met up with some old friends, visited some graves, figured out some things.” You said, not really wanting to talk about any more details, and plucked some old cigarette butts, knowing full and well who’d tossed them on the ground. Little burns stains and ash everywhere. 

“I hope you found it relaxing, seems like you have a lot of work in front of you.” You were freaking out about how casual Hanzo was acting, how nice he was being. This was not the man you’d previously known, and you were unsure whether it was an act or that he was actually just trying to be nice to you for a change.

“The vacation was sort of relaxing? At least I got a plan now…” Thinking of the plan, which would be starting soon, “And yeah, I do, what happened here? Looks like a trash tornado roamed this base.” Gesturing to the trash littered down the hallways.

“That… I don’t know how it happened, but I’m glad you’re back to clean it up.” At this you gave him an exasperated puff and a half smile. “This must’ve been hell for you, I can tell.” You said as you swiped some more trash into the black bag you were carrying.

“It truly was, at least you’re here to make it better.” Okay. That was fucking sweet, something was definitely up. Hanzo weren’t the kind of person to act sweet. He would be annoyed with you; he should be angry that you left! Yet here he was, actually being nice. 

You needed to figure out what the actual fuck he was doing, if it was some elaborated form of flattering you until you were completely brainwashed and his personal slave, or if there was something else on his mind. He was a very confusing man.

“Heh, I sure as hell hope so, and thank you Hanzo, nice to see that someone wants me back on base.” At that McCree perked up, and a chill was sent through your body as he sent you a look, which could only be described as deadly. You’d figured, that he would probably not want to speak with you, but not that he’d actually be angry.

Which is what he seemed to be. It was like Hanzo and McCree’s personalities had switched, and that was not only freaky, but downright scary. As you sure as hell knew that something was up.

“Anyways… I’m, uh… Going to continue to clean now, uh, see you guys around?” Trying to distract your fear by continuing to clean.

“Good night, sweet dreams.” “Bye.”

 

It was official, you were scared.

 

 

It had taken hours, but the hallways were finally cleaned, you’d even sneaked your way into Morrison’s office. Which you’d asked permission for first, of course, the two of you had gotten somewhat close after the little vacation you’d had, and you found yourself growing somewhat fond of him. 

Maybe you should ask him what the hell was going on with Hanzo and McCree, but you weren’t going to push your luck. Or maybe you were, curiosity getting the best of you yet again. 

“I encountered Hanzo and McCree in the hallway today.”

Sweet Roomba, how lovely thou art as thou are eating away at the dust, my sweet prince! If only you were sentient, you wouldn’t hesitate for a second to fall in love with them.

“And?” 

Cracking your back, knuckles and neck, you took a couple steps towards the Roomba, whom you knew was finished consuming his daily dose of Vitamin D, aka. Dust.

“They acted real weird. Hanzo was nice to me, McCree wanted to kill me, I’m not sure how to react to that.” 

Picking up your sweet prince and giving them a little smooch on top of their head, which was really unsanitary, you listened to what Morrison was going to tell you.

“Ah… That. Ever since you left, they’ve been like that. I don’t really know the reason, but at least things are going well? Hanzo’s not pissing me off by being pissed off himself, and McCree keeps his stupid comments to himself. I haven’t really decided to say anything on that, was afraid that it’d destroy the peace.”

Oh… Well, maybe they were like that because of something else? Not you?

“You think I did that?” You asked worriedly as you walked back to the supply closet with your sweet prince, unsure of whether that’s where you wanted to store them, or in your bed.

“Yes, definitely. But that’s not really your issue? No, don’t you dare!” He said, as if he knew what was going through your head. Which he kind of did this one time, “But I should apologise to them?” 

“You will not. They know what they were doing to you, they knew you didn’t have the capacity or ability to even think about entering a committed relationship, yet they pushed you. You will not apologise for their issues.” As if that that was easy. You wanted to apologise, a lot.

“Look, I know you think it’s your fault, that you should like them. That you need to get a spouse, a home, a baby and live a normal life. But as of right now, that isn’t perfectly possible, and they know that as well and manipulate you and push you into situations you do not want.”

“But I can change, what if I fall in love with them and then it’s too late?” A mix between a groan and a sigh was heard on the other line. “Look, put it in perspective, what if they were you, and you them. What would you do?”

Hm… “I’d respect their decision and leave them alone. But- ““No ‘BUT’, you’d respect their decision and leave them alone. Which is what they are doing, they are dealing with it in their own way. You let them mull things over, when you’re ready, you can have a long talk to them. But we both know you’re not ready for that talk yet. Especially with your upcoming mission.”

Funny he’d mention that; you were actually thinking about what kind of weapon you’d be getting. See if you’d need to practice a lot with it or not. “What weapon will I be getting?” 

“What?” Morrison sounded oblivious, a bit baffled as to where the conversation had gone. But accepted that fact and continued, “A Glock, couple knives, and your Roomba.” 

“Wait, my Roomba?” You asked, unsure what he meant. Until you realized the horrors he must have put your sweet prince through, “What did you do to my baby?!” You yelled loudly, in the middle of the hallway, right outside the supply closet.

“Well, you wanted a ‘cool weapon’, and when I asked your brother about it, he told me that you loved your Roomba so- “ 

“So you hurt my child?! No! That is not okay.” You clutched your Roomba close to your chest. “Please let me explain- “ 

“They are one of the few good things I have in my life, I wanted to see them grow up and you hurt them!” You aren’t sure why you’re so angry over a non-sentient being, but you are. Especially when it was done without your consent. You felt tears threatening to fall. 

“Are you honestly getting emotional over an old Roomba that we bought off a discount online sale?” 

Yes. You were. 

“They are my child, my light, and you do things without my consent.” And here you’d thought about making Morrison their dad, well not anymore. Clutching your Roomba close, holding them as you would a baby, you bobbed it up and down.

“Shhh… Daddy can’t hurt you anymore now sweetheart, I’m going to take care of you on my own.” A loud sigh on the other line, you knew that he knew that you knew that he knew that he’d fucked up.

“Look, soldier, stop by the practice hall and I’ll show you how to use him in battle. I’m sorry I didn’t ask for your consent before making alterations. When did I even become that Roombas father?” As if he didn’t know that he was their dad.

“Day 1, you have yet to look after them, you’re that shitty of a dad. At least you’re good at your job, but that’s all I can say.” Maybe you should tone down your soap opera a bit, as you heard someone shift behind you. 

Turning your head, you saw Ana standing behind you, a bit teary eyed, hand over her mouth. “Is this why you’ve been so sad? Is this why you took your vacation?” She asked, and you were a bit confused. How long had she been standing there?

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll help look after your baby while you’re at work.” Wait? Baby? OH no. “Can I see them?” She asked, smiling at you. 

In a panicked hurry you tried shielding most of your Roomba with your body. “Uh… Ana? It’s not a literal ba- “ 

But it was too late, she’d already grabbed your sweet prince and looked at you as if you were a mad person. Which uh, you in technical terms could be considered. Who else would adopt a Roomba and treat them as their own baby?

“It’s my Roomba… Uh…” Ana kept looking at you, and then your metal baby. Until she looked at you again, narrowed her eyes and asked, “Why?” 

Why? Well, that was a perfectly good question, that did indeed deserve an answer. If you had one that was, and you didn’t so you just shrugged, and let her give them back to you. She still seemed confused, and you admit, you would have been too.

Until she let out a happy sigh, “Goodness gracious me am I relieved. A baby at base? Been there done that, trust me, I do believe it’s easier to raise a child outside of Overwatch. You had me scared dear…”

Oh, that’s right Pharah. Well, at least Ana doesn’t have to worry about that, your eligible bachelors where not even into you anymore, and you weren’t looking to adopt soon either. Maybe when you were older, but you knew that you weren’t quite ready for a child of your own. Other than Roomba of course.

“Well, luckily I’m not pregnant, never been either and not planning on being pregnant for a while.” At that she chuckled, “It’s not really something you plan for, I mean, you can, but it’s usually something that just happens.”

Anyways, maybe you should figure out what your Roomba does, aside from sucking up dust, playing tunes and just existing as your little sweetheart.

“But who were you arguing with?” You’d sort of hoped she’d ignored that. Showing her the communication link ear piece would raise questions, but saying you were talking and arguing with yourself would be worse. 

“Uh… A buddy of mine? He’s kind of into roleplaying, he’s uh, he a freak?” At that you heard a loud snort on the other end, Morrison was having a blast listening in on you making a fool of yourself. 

Ana looked a bit shocked, until she shrugged and moved on. Leaving you a complete mess, clutching your dear Roomba in your arms. “You couldn’t come up with anything better?” Morrison laughed, riding out your embarrassment. “You could’ve helped me!” 

“You dug your own grave, Mommy dearest. Hahah holy shit!” After he’d opened up a bit more to you, he finally dared laugh at you when you made a fool of yourself or told moronic jokes. It was kind of nice, it was like you were old childhood friends. Which was the best kind of friends, in your opinion at least.

“Laugh it up, I bet you’re into embarrassing shit like this.” 

“Hahah wow, no. But it’s actually hilarious to listen to you getting all embarrassed. I had no idea you were like this. You always came off as this stoic, serious person. Stone cold hearted bitch, but you’ve proven to be quite the opposite.” He said as you placed your Roomba on one of the higher shelf in the supply closet. 

“Really now? Right back at you.” Moving back to your room, you were exhausted after cleaning almost every hallway.

“Tomorrow 13:00, meet me at the shooting range, I want to see how skilful you are with fire arms.” So your little fight wasn’t proof enough? Fine, figures he’d like to see your sick skills. “Alright see you then, sleep well.”

 

“Good night, sleep well.”

 

“It’s been hell without you on base!” Hana announced loudly as you placed a plate with newly made French toast in front of her. Sitting across her you started eating away at your food, Roadhog was supposedly out on a mission, without Junkrat.

You couldn’t believe your ears when you’d heard the inseparable duo being separated. Junkrat was by no means a person that couldn’t live without company, but he did crave it no matter what. Apparently he’d been clinging to Hana, who’d thought it was cute the first couple minutes, and was now, about 24 hours later, absolutely traumatized.

“I agree!” He said, mouth full of chewed French toast pieces. Which made their way out his mouth and onto your lap. Absolutely disgusting, if you weren’t used to worse. Not much disgusts a human being after being puked on by a baby goat.

“I’ve really missed you guys as well, especially our breakfast together.” Tracer was nowhere in sight and you weren’t exactly sure why, if she was still a bit suspicious of you, or that she didn’t know you were back being the issue.

“Your brother cooked for us, the first three days you were gone. Then he felt like only cooking for himself, and we’ve eaten the cafeteria food. He’s an amazing cook!” Hana told you as she took another bite, happy to have her arms free. 

Only wishing that was the case for you. Junkrat was holding onto your dominant hand, making it more difficult for you to scoop breakfast into your mouth. You tried to enjoy the fact that you were wanted and not get annoyed by the fact that your meal was getting cold.

“Yeah, it’s a shame he doesn’t always cook. How’s he been though?” You asked, as you tried to manoeuvre a piece of French toast into your mouth. “He’s been watching over Efi a lot, she’s teaching him robotics, and he’s teaching her programming.”

“Honestly, you’re all so fucking smart, I feel like an idiot?” Finally, a piece of delicious French toast managed to make its way into your mouth. 

“You’re not stupid, you’re just clever in your own way.” Hana said finishing up her French toast and moving on to the fruit salad with vanilla yoghurt on top. A combo which you loved. “Hah! As if, you’re a genius, my brothers a genius, an 11-year-old child is a genius, Junkrat’s a genius, and I’m just? I can barely do algebra. What the shit is X? No idea!”

At that you heard Junkrat cackle, “Me, a genius? That’s a first!” Which you took offence on, because seriously, he was a mechanics expert as well as a chemicals expert. Who the fuck made his own bombs? Not you to say the least!

“You make your own fucking bombs? I think that does make you pretty fucking smart.” Making a face at you, as if you weren’t telling the absolute truth, which you truly were.

“Alright Sheila, you’re being quite the flatterer today!” You might be, you’re in a somewhat good mood. Until you remembered your plan, making your face sink. “I guess… You guys are pretty good friends.”

Hana puffed her cheeks and tried her best to look as though she took offense, “Of course we are! We love you lots, and care for you.” She wasn’t making what you had to do next any easier. You wanted to tell her, but how could you? 

She’d get angry with Morrison, unwilling for you to go through the plan. Because what kind of sane friend would? But, you needed to do this, because who else could? Who else would? No one, that’s who. You were going to become the most hated woman on this earth.

You’d lose all trust they’d given you, which was a lot. It was stressing you out, making your gut wrench and twist. How could you put them through something like this? You were a horrible human being.

No, you couldn’t face Hana after that, maybe you should enjoy the last couple days with her. Not thinking about what was to come.

“Hana… I have a question for you?” No, you weren’t about to spoil the plan, but you were going to tell her something, “Hit me.” She said finishing her glass of juice. “When I die, everything forbid, could you make sure they got pizza at my funeral? Oh, and I love all kinds of flowers.”

Making a grimace at you, she leaned forward. “Why would you say something so morbid at breakfast?” She asked, wanting to hear your explanation, “Well, I’ve been thinking about it lately, I’m pretty fucking old, and you’re younger than me, so you’ll live longer. Don’t worry though, I plan on living until I’m 100 years. I’ll have a piece of cake and then my dead face will splatter into the birthday cake.”

“Ew, please don’t talk about that.” Pushing away her plate, and scrunching her nose at what you’d just said. “Oh, I’ve been planning on going out with a last large big boom!” Junkrat said, making you chuckle, “Well I hope you’re not planning on blowing up soon, would be a real shame!” 

“Why of course! You’d miss me too much Sheila! Since you’re planning on living until you’re 100 years and all.” Chuckling, you put some more French toast in your mouth. If you died because of this mission, at least Hana knew what you wanted at your funeral.

“Fuck, you’re both making me lose my appetite!” Hana dried her mouth with a napkin and started putting away her plate. “Eh, at least we didn’t get graphic.” You shrugged, and smiled at Junkrat as he finally released you from his grip.

“I don’t think she could’ve handled that, Sheila.” Junkrat said rising and stretching, you were always so surprised when he stood tall. Mostly because he was fucking enormous when not constantly crouching. His back must be in so much pain.

“Neither do I… Anyways, how you holding up without Roadhog? You’re real fucking close, I know I hate leaving Hana alone.” Picking up both yours and Junkrat’s dishes. “Can’t really sleep without knowing he’s close by. Hana’s not been sleeping well either, but matching us up didn’t work either.”

Who’d have known?

“You want to take a nap in the common living room? I got half an hour, plus it probably needs cleaning so anyways.” Taking his hand, you started leading him towards your now favourite room. “Ah yes! Finally, I’ll be able to get some sleep!”

At least you hoped he would. Your first three weeks without your ex had made you unable to sleep and rest properly. ‘Can’t sleep without holding onto a motherfucker.’ A relic which was true to your situation.

 

Upon arriving at the common living room, you were delightfully surprised. No mess. Someone had taken proper care of this room, unlike the other rooms at base. At least someone cared enough to not mess that shit up.

Junkrat flopped down on the couch, in a very seductive pose mind you, which you were unsure was intentional or not. “Goddamn, okay.” You whispered to yourself, looking into one of the woven baskets which was filled with blankets you pulled one out. 

Lying next to Junkrat on the couch, you tossed the blanket over the two of you. Him, ever so gently spooning you. Which was completely okay, until he pulled you close, raising alarms in your head.

But you decided to ignore it for now, letting him hug you close. 

After a couple minutes it was actually pretty nice, and you closed your eyes, solely focusing on your breathing. Which you did for a while. Until you heard an alarm go off.

Groaning, you pulled out your device, checking for requests, only to find your alarm you’d set before you’d decided to take a nap. How 30 minutes had passed so fast was beyond you, but it sure as hell had. Which annoyed you. You’d not gotten such a good rest in quite some time. 

Looking for requests, you found none. The only meeting you’d scheduled today was at 13:00, which wouldn’t be for another 3 hours. Setting up a new alarm at 12:30, you resumed your previous position, Junkrat’s hand holding your body tight. 

It was really nice actually, having someone hold you close while taking a nap. Sure, you cuddled with Hana, but she’d been preoccupied as of lately. Your brother wasn’t really into cuddles, which meant that this was your best option at this given time.

Which was pretty nice actually, as you were very comfortable. Yet again focusing on your breathing you felt yourself quickly drifting off. 

Until something else set you off. A glass shattering on your floor, made you completely awake, but not yet opening your eyes. “Really?!” You heard someone say loudly, a familiar voice. Trying to deduce the tone, you wouldn’t say they were happy either.

Brushing your eyes for sleep, you sat up, yawned a bit and looked at the man standing in front of you. He was not happy, which you already kind of knew.

“Morning.” You said, checking your device for any requests and the time. 5 minutes had passed this time, no requests. “Don’t ya dare ‘Morning’ me, what the hell is this?!” McCree asked gesturing to you and your nap buddy.

“We were taking a nap.” Your voice was so groggy now, kind of hoarse even. Yep, that was a good nap. “You don’t think I got eyes?! Fuckin’-!” He said as Junkrat pulled you close in his sleep, not really helping your situation.

“Why’re ya letting that fuckin’ rat touch ya?!” Well for starters, because you didn’t mind it. If you did you’d have said something. But you didn’t mind, so you hadn’t said something.

“Because we were napping, and please be quiet, you’re going to wake him up.” Putting a finger to your lips, suggesting that he don’t yell when Junkrat was finally getting his Z’s.

“This is fuckin’ bullshit, ya really choosing trash boy over here, over me?!” He said angrily as you tried to understand where he was coming from. “No? We were just taking a nap? It’s called platonic cuddling; you should try it some time.”

Staring at you with a disgusted look, you heard him mutter something under his breath, making you voice a ‘what?’. “I called ya a slut, because that’s what ya are.” He was being just being pissy, like most of the boys you’d rejected.  
“Okay, I’m going to let that one slide, as I know you’re hurt.” You said calmly, releasing yourself from Junkrat’s grip. It took a bit of prying, but you managed to get out of it without waking him.

“Yer a fuckin’ bitch is what ya are!” He said louder. “That’s your second warning, McCree.” You said, rising from the couch. “I get it; you didn’t get it your way. But that’s what happens sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with you, I’m just not ready for a relationship yet, and you know it. This here,” 

Gesturing and waving at Junkrat’s sleeping body, “Is a friend thing. If you want to cuddle as well, all you have to do is ask, but know that it’s a friend thing. I can do friendships; I can do cuddles. Not much else.”

“Yer just a goddamn hooker, not willin’ to admit it to herself, but I see who ya really are.” That might’ve tipped you off, but you tried to keep your calm. When people were hurt, they said some idiotic shit, and you knew that.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to go this far. Most people get over their crush on me within a week. Mostly because they see me for the shitty person I truly am. Look, I lost my parents this year, I had to transition from a job which gave me lots of trauma, and try to keep myself sane. I lost a lot this year, I don’t want to lose anyone anymore.”

He was still staring you down, which made you continue. “A lot of people I loved are gone, I just don’t want to bury another body. I can’t handle that; you understand this right? Then there’s the fact that I don’t want to be in a relationship right now, because of both personal issues, and obvious ones as the line of work we’re into. We don’t have time to see each other. We don’t even know each other. My previous relationship, I didn’t know him well enough, and I ended up hurt.”

No longer staring you down, he kept his gaze on the ground. “Deep down, you know this, but you’re hurt and upset. You’re allowed to be; you’re allowed to feel like that. Even if it’s painful. I don’t think you’d be happy with me, especially in my current condition.”

Carefully taking a step forward, you stared at him. “But you’d be glad to know, that you’re a real catch and anyone lucky enough to hook you down, is going to be a great person. For now, I suggest you focus on finding your happiness.”

It was quiet for some time, and you weren’t sure if he was listening to you. Until you heard him take a deep breath.

“Yer one of a kind, ain’t ya? I’m sorry for bein’ so childish, it’s been a while since I was rejected by a woman I truly loved. Yer right, deep down I know I should just leave ya to yer own business. Let ya heal and all. But damn, if that don’t hurt.”

Placing your hand on his cheek, you gave him a worried smile. “It’s going to get better, you’ll get over me, quite easily.” At that he chuckled and leaned into the palm of your hand. “The day I do, my life won’t be worth livin’. Thanks for dealing with me being a fuckin’ man baby.”

“You joking? That’s not even the worst reaction I’ve gotten from a rejection. At least I didn’t have to kick your ass. Which is very nice mind you, since I haven’t stretched in some time.” 

“Sorry, yer a good person, I just don’t know what to do.” He said as you took a look at the couch, trying to measure it with your eyes. “I think there’s room for three people on the couch, if you want to join. Might get a bit crowded but I don’t have to be anywhere until 13:00.”

Laying back down on the couch, you pushed Junkrat’s unconscious body further into the couch. There wasn’t plenty of room, but you could technically fit another person on the couch. It’d be a tight fit, but you didn’t really mind.

“Uh.” Yes, ‘uh’, a fitting word for this situation, but no matter. “Take a nap, it really helps. Plus, I bet your ass you’re craving a hug or something.” Slowly, yet steadily he laid down on the couch facing you. Feeling his hot breaths on your face, you smiled.

Then you thought about your plan. Which made you conflicted. You needed to tell someone something. 

“Hey…” You whispered staring into McCree’s eyes. “Hey?” he replied, and you tried to find the perfect words, which were escaping you. “I’m going to have to do something I don’t want to do.” Humming, he put a hand on your hip.

“What might that be?” he asked as closed his eyes, seemingly enjoying your position. “Can’t really tell, but I don’t want to do it. But at the same time I do. The consequences will be pretty bad, but if I succeed the results will almost speak for themselves.”

“Is that so?” He asked, sleepily, getting more tired by the minute. “Just know that I didn’t want to do it, that this is what happened, that I’ll only be doing it for… to help everyone.” His breathing slowed, how tired was he?

“I’m sorry for going through with my plan, only I can do it. I just, I’m not ready for you to hate me, but you will.” You could feel a sharp pain running down your spine. Guilt, worry, fear, a fine mix.

“Don’t think that’s possible.” McCree mumbled, as you felt yourself tear up. “What I’m going to do is terrible, I don’t think you’ll be able to forgive me. But there’s no way around it…” His forehead met yours and he smiled. His genuine beautiful smile.

“Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything ya could do t’ make me actually hate ya. I love ya too much.” 

“I’m infiltrating Talon.”

“Mhm, I see.” He said taking a deep breath, as if he hadn’t realized what you’d just said. That it just hadn’t registered.

Until he sat up, looking at you in utter complete shock. “Yer joking?” Staring at him wide eyed, you hadn’t really wanted that information to slip. “You honestly think I’m such a big idiot? No, sir, of course I was joking.” 

He wasn’t going to buy your shit, your bluff, and you’d screwed your mission before you’d even begun. “That’s not funny… You’d die, wait, is this what you tried to tell me? Is this why you’ve been trying to act distant?” 

Not really no? “Honestly, no, it was a joke, go back to sleep McCree.” But he sure as hell wasn’t having it, “Is this why you left for two weeks?” Yes, “No. Look, it was a joke, I’m not doing that. Obviously I’d die, there’d be no point in me killing myself. Now, rest.”

“Then what is this personal shit you’ve been telling me about?” Suspicious is what he was, and that sure as hell didn’t help you. “I was thinking about starting to go to AA meetings…” 

“Why the fuck would I hate ya for getting help with yer alcoholism? Hell, sign me up, I need that shit as well.” Why indeed… It was the first thing you could think of that made sense. And it really didn’t either. “I’ve heard people change a lot, and I don’t know if it’ll be for the better or worse.”

“Is that what yer truly worried ‘bout? Because if ya change it’ll be good, yer still you. S not like it matters if it’s a non-alcoholised version of ya.” That was nice to know, but when you finally went through with your plan he’d know.

At least he knew that you didn’t want to, but that would mean fuck shit to him.

“Sorry, let’s continue our nap.”

Closing your eyes, he continued talking to you. “If ya need help, don’t hesitate to ask me. I don’t like seeing ya hurt. I know what it feels like to deal with things on yer own, but ya ain’t alone here.”

Swallowing, your mouth felt dry, maybe this was one of those times were telling the truth actually would help you? “I got some major shit to deal with Jesse, and I’m not sure whether to tell you or not.”

“What do ya think will be the outcome?” He asked, and it took you no time to answer his question, “I think you’ll try to stop me.” 

“Will that be helpful?” 

“No… I don’t… I’m not sure. I’m an adult by all terms, but I still can’t make my own decisions. I just… I think I have to do this, but the consequences are pretty big and harsh.” 

“Being an adult is shit, I can agree with ya on that. But why do ya want to tell me?” 

“Because… I don’t know, I trust you. I don’t want you to hate me, but you’d stop me from doing it, which I can’t.” You didn’t feel like keeping it a secret to him for some reason, you didn’t feel like keeping it a secret from Hana, not even your brother. But here you were, doing just so, feeling remorse and guilt.

“Could ya die?” McCree asked in all seriousness as he pulled you closer. “There’s a high possibility of that happening, yes.”

“Who’s makin’ ya do it?” Well, technically Morrison, but he wanted to plan something else. Which you didn’t want to. “Me, I’m doing it to myself.”

“What are ya doin’? Or is that a secret?” 

“It’s best you don’t know, but you’ll know of it soon, but then it’ll be too late and you’ll hate me.”

“Don’t think that’s possible.”

“I would. I would hate me intensely if someone pulled this shit on me.”

“Then why’re ya even doin’ it?”

“Because I’m the only one who can.”

“Yer actually infiltrating Talon, ain’t ya?”

Shifting a bit, you tried to scurry your way out of both Junkrat and McCree’s grip, which was impossible, especially with one of them being awake. “Ya weren’t jokin’. Yer actually insane enough to do that?”

“Can people stop questioning my sanity? I’m normal, just got a bit of PTSD.” Trying to get off the couch was hard as you kept getting pushed down. “Yer actually doing that? Who gave ya the permission?”

“Me, now, let go.”

“Nope, I don’t fuckin’ believe that for a second.”

“Figured I’d fight for my brother’s freedom. Why does it matter? I’m just doing what everyone here is doing, except I actually have an ace up my sleeve.”

Forcing you to look him in the eyes with his hand, made you want to writhe in his grip, but decided against it. You knew his metal hand could destroy metal and quite easily crush your skull.

“Whatever ace ya think ya got, it sure as hell ain’t enough.” It was enough, you knew it. “They’ll kill ya, I won’t let ya.” 

“You see? I have to do this no matter what, I shouldn’t have told you… The plan has already been set into motion.” 

“Are ya workin’ alone?” No, “Yes.”  
“Does yer brother know?” No, “Yes”  
“And he’s alright with that?” No, “I guess?”

“Excuse me, I gotta go talk to yer brother.” Wait, no, this wasn’t good. “Look, he doesn’t know, only you and I, don’t hurt him, he doesn’t know, he does not know. If he did do you honestly think he’d let me go through with it?”

“I got no idea, but I know yer not goin’ through with whatever god awful plan ya have. I’m telling him.” At that you gasped, and held his arm. “Don’t you dare.”

“Look, ya obviously don’t care if ya live or die, and ya don’t care if I want ya alive. I just hope he can knock some sense into ya.” But – but that would completely ruin the plan!

“Fuck Jesse, you can’t tell him. Don’t you dare.” Pursuing McCree as he made his way through the hallways towards your room. He wasn’t even budging as you tried to stop him, standing in front of him to try and block his way.

“I’m not going to let ya kill yerself.” Was all he said, as you unmuted the communication link.

 

“I have made a mistake.”

 

“I’ve been trying to contact you for the past couple minutes, we’re departing.”

 

Was the plan already being set into motion?

 

“I’ll tell you how to use your Roomba, just get ready to go asap.”

 

Fuck, you had less time than you’d hoped. 

 

“Jesse!” You yelled, standing still. He turned his head, as you mouthed the word, ‘bye’ and bolted in the opposite direction.

 

A loud ‘shit’ rang through the hallways as you heard him starting to run after you, but you had the upper hand, being quicker, more agile and having a head start. 

Bolting up the stairs, you heard him shout your name, begging for you to stop. But you were continuing to run up the several flights of stairs. Your old personal trainer would have been so proud by you.

 

Reaching the top floor, you all but kicked open the door and headed for the aircraft, just taking off. 

 

As you jumped into the aircraft, you saw McCree emerge from the same doorway you’d kicked open.

 

“Don’t you dare!” 

 

You heard him yell, as you told the pilot to go. 

 

Putting on the headphones in the aircraft, you only heard the muffled screams of your name, as you were off. 

 

At least you’d told him?

 

Been truthful? 

 

To some extent at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The results are in!
> 
> 869 votes - the winner is… McCree!!   
> Honestly, I thought D.Va or Reaper would win, and I do suspect foul play (as 600 votes under a couple days is… well… suspicious…) But who am I to complain, I had great endings for all. (But very few will be able to read them ;** )
> 
> Also yes, I wanted to give Junkrat some cuddles, because I know some of you have been craving that good shit 
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter, as always, I'm available on Twitter and Tumblr.   
> If you want to play with me my username is Nopersdopers #2138 - on PC (my pc is kind of fucked up atm tho ;( )
> 
> I'm also going on vacation and preparing for entering the military, I'll try to get this fiction finished before that.


	31. Finally seeing his side

It’d been a while since you’d found yourself in this kind of situation. Getting ready for combat that is. Not like you could really prepare for battle, even if your kit was. The strapping that held you down into the seat was gnawing into your shoulder.

Trying to readjust it, so you’d get more space, it decided not to bunch. Frustration, from the belt and the fact that you were in a shitload of troubles, made it worse. Ripping at it, you felt yourself let a loud frustrated groan out. 

This entire plan of yours was stupid and you felt like telling 76 the truth, about how you knew Reaper, how much you hated this plan and how you knew you were going to die the second you entered the enemy’s zone. 

Unbuckling the belt, you rose from your seat and kicked the kit that’d been packed. To hell with it all, to hell with this fucking strap, to hell with this plan, to hell with 76! You didn’t want to do this; you didn’t want to be here.

The only good thing about this entire scenario was that you didn’t have to face your problems back home. Base, you mean, it wasn’t your home. Though now, nowhere was your home. 

Damn it all.

Letting the anger consume you would do no good, and neither would be ignoring it. Choosing to do neither, and rather do something productive, you went over your kit. Taking a hold of one of the straps on your backpack, you opened it up, and emptied its content on the aircrafts cold floor. 

Not like they could put in some carpet or rubber mats, no, they had to keep it ‘stylish’. Wouldn’t hurt anyone to have a mat or whatever on the metal floor. The contents of your kit was as much as a minimized ‘summer’ sleeping bag, a change of underwear, some toiletries, headlight, glow sticks that lasted 36 hours, gas mask, protection glasses, batteries, shovel, a ‘well-seen’ vest aka. a reflective vest, camo cream, bandages. 

Basic combat kit. Re-packing the smaller backpack, you tried your best to put it back neatly. As frustration was getting to you, said task was not as easy as one would think, and you ended up pushing it all into the bigger room. You hated this.

Moving on, to continue the process of going over your kit, you moved to the uniform that had been placed neatly in one of the seats of the aircraft. Your basic military gear. Net sweater, with netting pants to go along, a plain green shirt, the actual uniform, different distinctions, and who could forget? The fucking boots.

Now, these boots were comfortable as hell, if they’d been used for past a year. But these looked brand new, meaning your feet would honestly be in for a hellish weekend. Along came the woollen socks, which made the whole process of wearing the shoes at least a bit better. 

Didn’t make much difference, but at least it was better than wearing those thin knee high socks everyone had tried to wear the first week, back when you were recruits. They’d thought they had been so smart, long marches had proven otherwise. Almost everyone had ended up in sanitary with blemished filled with blood and nasty liquid.

After that puss had followed, leaving several young recruits unable to walk without sneakers. At least you’d been able to walk in those new sneakers the military provided, but at what cost?

That was also around the time you’d taken up snuff and cigarettes. You’d promised yourself you just needed one box, just one packet. Only the latter had proven to be true, that you’d managed to quit cigarettes. The snuff however? That had been with you the entire first year.

You were only supposed to be there for one year, but no, you’d decided that for some foolish reason to enter the Army IRCU, to become a sergeant. That had been an even worse decision than you could’ve predicted back then.

Putting the uniform on, you felt it was strange that 76 had known your exact measurements. Even the bra had been a perfect fit, which you certainly found strange. Not that it mattered, it all fit. Lacing up the boots, you noticed the pockets were full of gear as well. 

One multitool, or well Swiss army knife if you wanted the proper name. Some more bandages, a cap, an old fashioned notebook with a pen inside, some gloves, a field phone, and who could forget? The complimentary packet of cigarettes and snuff. Not like you needed the cigarettes, but the snuff was tempting.

Thinking that you were ever over that good nicotine rush was a mistake. Not as big as your next, or the previous you’d made, but you needed this. Cutting open the sides of the box with your fingernails, you opened it and immediately scrunched your nose.

The smell wasn’t pleasant, but you needed one little packet under your lip, stat. 

How 76 had even known your previously favourite brand, was unnerving, but you didn’t care, you just needed it so badly. Flipping open the lid, you found the little packet that looked like a small bag of tea. Pushing it up under your lip, you waited for the rush.

It would take a couple minutes, so you might as well fix your hair properly. Back when you were a recruit, and started out as a sergeant, you’d used so much hair gel that you’d looked like one of those guys with a Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, socks in sandals, a big fat cigar and beer gut to compare, with your hair slicked back like that. 

Now you knew better, or you just eventually stopped caring too much about it, like the other soldiers. Thinking about cigars though… Maybe you should be calling McCree? The way you’d left him was, well, it was not a decent goodbye at least. He’d probably yell at you, telling you to turn the aircraft around, that it was a bad plan like you didn’t already know.

“Fuck, I’m in deep shit now, aren’t I?” You asked yourself out loud, as you started with clearing out the weapons you’d be having. A Glock as promised, a couple shock and splint grenades and well, your Roomba, which you still didn’t know what was supposed to do.

Except being a perfect little prince that helped you eat the dust when you were cleaning. What kind of alterations that had been made, you were unsure of, not like it mattered, you still loved the little fellow.

What would you even tell McCree? ‘Hey, sorry I didn’t tell you about this mission, I’m probably going to die, live life have fun!’? Not like that would ever work, you would surely just get a talking to, right?

Then there was the fact that he’d been romantically interested in you, and you’d sure as hell not handled that well. Not like you’d ever been good at romantic relationships, but you knew you weren’t ready for this anyways.

The whole ‘we’ll get to know each other as we’re dating’ hadn’t worked out well in the past. If you’d known more about him, maybe you’d predicted that he’d do that. He just stopped you from making a big ass mistake, but… No, you couldn’t blame him for saving your ass, but you’d had a point.

All the death, and your superiors just sat back at base complaining about not getting a glass of wine at base, as if that fucking mattered. As if lives were disposable. But he’d stopped you from doing something really stupid, and you ended up breaking up over something like that. 

No, you weren’t going to leave McCree with a sour taste in his mouth, you needed to call him. 

“Morrison?” Asking out loud, you hoped the communication link still worked as you were currently flying a couple thousand miles up in the air. There was no answer, which was not helping you, or your situation. 

Useless piece of crap, you thought wanting to toss the damned thing across the room. No matter, maybe you should try calling him, just to… Properly end things?

Hitting up your phone you tried your best to remember the correct number. Who even remembered such things anymore? It had long since outdated, but it’s not like you could just hit him up by using one of those online phone sites. That would’ve been fairly unsafe.

Rather, you did remember one number, which was your brother’s. Maybe you could talk to him about it all, or maybe, by chance someone else would pick it up and give it to him. Not likely, but you had to give it a try.

Dialling his number, you heard the gentle beeps from the other line. You could only hope he didn’t know. If he did, you ought to give him a proper explanation.

After a couple seconds passed he picked up, and your stress that had led up to this moment. He did pick up, and your fears were confirmed.

“Turn that damn aircraft around or so help me.” Damn, you hadn’t expected McCree to be such a snitch, but after all, he had warned you he would do it.

“I’m-” You were instantly cut off, “You are not going on a suicide mission, you’re turning around and you are returning before you do something even more foolish. This is not what mom and dad would have wanted, and this is not what I want you to do.”

“But-“ Yet again you were cut off before getting a sentence out, “No fucking buts, you are not going on this mission, or so help me I’ll get on an aircraft myself to your destination to pick you up.”

“Let-“ 

“No. There’s no arguing about this. You are not fighting Talon on your own, where did you even get that idea? You are not doing this, you are done fighting, you’ve served well past your time, you are finished. When you get back we’ll have a proper talk.”

“Let me speak!” You shouted into the phone, as you felt anger rise inside of you. Who was he to talk? He’d never had to kill anyone, all he did was sit behind his damned computer all day, programming away.

“There’s no backing out of this.” The truth, you needed to tell him the truth. That you were forced into this, blackmailed into doing something that you had no intention of doing. But how could you tell him without getting into more trouble.

“I’m doing this, no matter what you say.” It was official, you were actually going through with your insane plan.

“You are not. You are returning to base instantly.” Well you weren’t, you were going through with this plan. “No. There is no arguing about this. There is literally nothing you, or I, can do about it.”

Some rustling in the background was heard, someone was talking, loudly, shouting. Obviously someone was disagreeing with you, aside from your brother. Supposedly it might be McCree, which was the person you’d intended on calling in the first place, but your luck seemed short as of now.

“Ya ain’t goin’ on this damn mission.”

As luck would have it, you were royally screwed. But you were angry and upset, and that brought out the worst in you.

“Oh hey McCree, yeah, no, I kind of am.”

“Turn that damned ship around or so help me-” This again, you couldn’t even do that. The ship was on autopilot, as luck would have it. It would only stop at one destination before returning. 

“Look, I’m going. There’s no ‘talking’ me out of this, I’m going and I’m finishing it, and then, and only then, will I be returning.” You said, as you finished gearing up. You looked like any other soldier.

“So, before I do this, I just wanted to call and let you know that, well, I’m sorry.”

“If ya do this, yer goin’ to be even sorrier.” Huh, is that even a word? Diminishing the thought, you rode out the nicotine rush. It really did help, especially in situations like this.

“Yeah, well. I’m already as sorry as I can be.” Sighing, you let the back of your head hit the aircrafts wall. There wasn’t anything you could do about this hopeless situation. “I know it’s a ‘suicide mission’. I know the chances of survival are pretty fucking low, but, that’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

On the other line it went quiet. Hopefully it wasn’t because of the connection or anything, but you really did want to talk to him, your brother, Hana, hell even everyone back at base.

“I just wanted to… Properly end things, just in case, I left in a rush and while that might be beneficial in some ways, this, this isn’t what I wanted.” 

Rather the exact opposite, you wanted a quiet, normal life. Something entirely different from this.

“Tell my brother that it, that this isn’t his fault. In any way. I’m not doing this for him, even if it will help. This isn’t because of anything anyone did, I’m just…” Talking was hard, especially with the lump in your throat forming.

“Tell Hana that I’m sorry, that this isn’t the outcome I wanted, that I still love her very much and that she deserves a better friend.” It was becoming even worse, talking that is.

“Tell them that I… I’m sorry. I, have to, have to do this.”

You could already feel your eyes starting to sting, and you took a long hard sniffle. A jolt was sent down your spine, this wasn’t anything you’d wanted.

“And… just… I truly am, sorry, especially for doing this to you. I’ve put you in a position no one deserves to be in, and you,” You sniffled yet again, and took a deep strained breath.

“Listen to me, ya can’t do this. If I lose ya, I don’t know what I’ll do, yer one of the few good things in my life, even if ya hate my guts.” An involuntary laugh erupted from the back of your throat.

‘Hate’? Far from it, he’d sure enough put you in a rough spot, but you knew that sometimes you lost yourself when you loved someone. Especially if it was you, you were a tough nut to love.

“I’ve known ya for about, what, half a year now? I know ya don’t think I know ya well enough, but yer just makin’ it so damn hard. Even so, I think I know ya pretty well, but yer not even givin’ me a chance.”

That was… correct. You hadn’t given him a chance, but really he surely didn’t know you. Not who you once were, or currently was.

“’S not like ya noticed, but… I did help ya back to base after yer nightly ‘affairs’ more than once. Ya sure spill a lot of information after having a drink.” Oh… Really? You just thought you’d somehow miraculously managed to get back to base on your own.

“I don’t think ya even remember all the good times we had together, do ya?” Like the time you’d kicked him in his face? That wasn’t what you’d call a good time, for either of you.

“Ya, heh, yer the clumsiest person to ever exist. Don’t think I didn’t notice all the times ya managed to smack yourself in the face with yer own mop, or even how you coddle a non-sentient vacuum machine. Or when you’re stressed and start chewin’ on the insides of your cheek.”

How fun how he’d bring up a bad, nervous habit of yours. Or the fact that you were really clumsy. But you felt like he was onto something.

“Don’t ya think for a second that I don’t notice that ya love drawin’, or dancin’ when ya think no one’s watching. The way ya start humming and gently singing when the Roomba’s playing a song yer familiar with. Ya got a beautiful voice, and it’s a shame ya don’t sing all the time.”

So someone had noticed when you sat down to doodle, danced and sung for yourself. It was a bit embarrassing, but it helped out a lot with your mood. You didn’t feel that angry anymore.

“I know ya love to dress up, especially putting on makeup, yer an expert. I love how ya laugh, yer smiles are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like ya glow, the world suddenly seems bearable, like everything’s gonna be alright, as long as ya keep smilin’.”

As far as compliments went, this was a genuinely nice one.

“People have hurt ya bad in the past, it’s a shame how the world has treated ya. Because ya think yer untouchable, that it doesn’t affect ya as long as ya don’t show any emotions or open up. But it’s hurting ya more than you’d think. Yer not allowing yourself to keep smilin’, to have friends and family, hell, not even love.”

True, sometimes it felt like the world kept on knocking you down and spitting on you, but what could you do? Nothing.

“I ain’t sayin’ that ya should love me, but ya do need someone to love ya, vice versa and all that crap. Ya need someone to help ya out when yer in a rough spot, that helps ya make good decisions, that holds ya close and tell ya that it’s gonna be alright.”

Sounds pleasant enough, but you weren’t capable of loving right now. Everyone knew that, that you couldn’t love anyone. The last time you had, they’d ‘saved’ you, and treated you like everything was going to be alright when nothing was.

Nothing was alright, and you couldn’t do anything about it. Which was the worst.

“Ya know that right? It takes time, but sooner or later, everything is gonna be fine. You’ll be able to return to us, to Hana, yer brother. But it’s gonna be a hell of a lot harder if ya do this.”

Was that his hidden agenda? 

‘I love you, but don’t do this.’?

That he was going to make you an emotional mess, so that you were incapable of fighting and would take the next flight back?

Instead of letting yourself go down that path, you decided to listen to his words of comfort. Because in the end, he really did love you. At least cared for you enough to try and get you out of a deadly situation, and that has to count for something right?

“I don’t want to do this. I never did.” You felt yourself whisper, as you could feel the snuff running a bit under your lip. “I just want to be free. Free from all the hell, to be able to go outside without feeling like someone’s about to kill me, free from all the thoughts that people have a hidden agenda.”

“Then come back. Ya don’t need t’ do this. Please, just don’t, I can’t afford to lose ya.”

Rubbing your forehead and gritting your teeth, you felt hopeless. You couldn’t return, and you couldn’t stay. All you wanted to do, was hold someone close. Embraced in their arms, sharing body heat.

But you couldn’t, and you were desperate.

“When I’m done, I’ll…” Your fingers were numb, as were your mind. “I’ll give you a chance for starters, but I can’t promise anything.”

“Ya don’t need t’ give me a chance, just, please return to us, to me. Try to get back in one piece, okay?”

Like an itch you couldn’t stop thinking about what you wanted to say next. The words played over and over again in your head. To give him a chance, to tell him that you did really know how you felt.

Because in this stupid situation, somehow, you knew exactly what you felt. 

Being this desperate, you suddenly knew your exact feelings, and the exact words.

You really didn’t have anything against him, and you had just made up excuses all the time. That you were too busy, that you weren’t ready for anything, that you didn’t know how you felt, even though far back in your head you knew all along. 

How you’d hopelessly fallen, that all the things, the talks, the random flirts, hell even the small kisses here and there, how much it had truly meant to you.

“I’m going to hate myself if I don’t say this, but,” You swallowed, took a breath.

Letting tears roll down your cheek, you felt like such an idiot.

You’d yet again stood in your own way of happiness, because you were afraid. Afraid that you’d get hurt, but wasn’t that really the joy of it all? That you didn’t know how the other person felt, how you even felt. 

Which is why it was so important to tell him before you went on this silly suicide mission. Gathering all the courage you could get, you felt your heart skip a beat. 

Denying yourself something good, just because you were afraid never worked out. 

And this was good, hell it was great!

Even if it was scary, you were unprepared for it all, it was rushed and almost out of desperation.

“I don’t really hate you. I’m just, I’m scared. All the time. Nothing good ever lasts, even if I want it to, and just, fuck. I’m such an idiot.” You dried your tears and snot.

“I know this might be a little to late but… I really do, I…”

“I lov-“

The aircraft met turbulence, and you felt yourself jump. Dropping the phone in your grasp, you heard it clatter over the floor. Gasping loudly, you crawled across the floor for it.

The call had ended, quite abruptly.

It’s frame was destroyed, and so was the phone.

No.

It couldn’t end like this.

“Jesse?!” You shouted at the phone, and tried to get it to awaken yet again, but it was all in vain. Fuck, you felt frustration rise inside, and you screamed in desperation.

Vailing like a child, over a broken phone, a broken conversation, and a broken heart.

It couldn’t end like this!

“Landing in approximately 5 minutes. Prepare for landing.” 

The robotic voice in the background was dull, everything inside of you felt like it was in burning pain.

 

No, not like this.

 

You’d been ready, ready to spill it all.

 

That you truly, indeed, did…

 

 

Love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a relatively short chapter! I'm so sorry.
> 
> Military has taken a beating on my time to write, and I won't be able to update as frequently as I want to… It really didn't help that everything I'd previously written was accidentally deleted. At least I'm gaining inspiration but at what cost.
> 
> Life has been alright, but unfortunately I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like, and I'm very thankful that you guys have stuck out with my hiatus. Unfortunately, it might be a while until next chapter is posted, just know I'm trying my best, that it will take a while, but also that this ending will soon, well… End.
> 
> As always, I'm available on Tumblr and Twitter, and will keep you posted on my progress! (If it helps I'm making lots of doodles, comics etc. for this fan fic)
> 
> Also!!!! I'm going to be announcing something real fun! So keep posted!!


	33. Part one complete

Cold wind that stung your cheeks, blew straight into your face as the hangar of the aircraft slowly opened. A loud noise of creaking metal emitting. Your focus had shifted, and you felt numb inside, there was no point in crying over spilt milk when you were doing something important such as this.

One wrong step could prove itself fatal. If you weren’t careful, you’d be dead on the spot, and when you had unfinished business that was a no-go.

You were returning, if they’d let you, at least you’d call them and apologize. Yet again that is, you were running out of apologies, but you couldn’t let that get to you. For now, all your focus had to go to the mission that was at hand. 

“The plan?” You asked, hoping 76 would pick up. It was dark out, the only visible lights from a far off city. No answer. Fine, you’d be walking around hoping for any signs that might imply Talon activity.

Taking a few steps off the hangar and onto the mud ground, the aircraft started taking off yet again. Now you were completely alone, in what you believe is a field, surrounded by darkness, with no way of communicating with your superior for this mission.

“Fuck me.” You voiced out loud, as you unbuckled the Glock, and started sprinting towards the town. Hopefully you would be able to properly locate the place where you’d be working your magic.

The chain necklace with the USB stick connected to it, jumped around and made its way into your bra, literally freezing your tits off. Running was not fun, especially when you didn’t know the direction, or even liked running.

As you neared the lights, the field around you seemed to get more visible. You were lucky that you’d taken your daily dose of vitamins or you’d be blinded by the darkness. Taking a look around you, over your shoulder, you could only see darkness. 

It was cold outside, and it did no better on your poor lungs that was working as hard as they could to keep you breathing as you pressured them while running. The snuff was already running, and it left a poor distaste in your mouth. Spitting it out, you let your tongue run over its previous reside. 

Unfortunately for you, it was really disgusting, having to stop and spit, you tried contacting 76 yet again. “Am I even running in the right direction?” To outsiders it might look as though you were talking to yourself, and in reality you were.

There was only static on the other line, and you cursed whatever entity you could about it. Another look around you, and you only felt more lost. You had no sense of direction, the results from your orientation runs proved that. Sure, you could last a long time, and you always ended up at the right place in the end, but it still didn’t mean that it didn’t take a couple hours.

One time, they’d even had to send out some of the guys from security that brought along dogs to find you. Only to find you about 500 meters from base. You’d run out of snacks, and you’d left your GPS back at base for whatever reason. Pretty embarrassing…

The weeds in the field almost completely covered you, but luckily your line of sight was good enough. You could finally make out the shapes of the previously assumed city. Turns out it was a fucking camp. Base if you weren’t completely inaccurate. 

So now you’d not only have to find Talon, ‘steal’ information, but also sneak into what you presumed was a highly secured base. Balling your free hand into a fist, you put the Glock back into it’s seal.

Not only could you not fucking break into this base, but your supposed leader had still made no signs of being able to communicate with you. Fucking fine, let’s just fucking walk inside?! 

Or. 

That might’ve given you an idea.

Maybe you should just walk into the base?

Hopefully they wouldn’t kill you, but take you their prisoner instead and interrogate you? Then you’d fight your way out of the interrogation room, and link up. Seems like a plan at least?

Unless they’ve been ordered to kill on site, then you were going to fucking die in seconds.

Sneaking wasn’t exactly your strongest suit, and there was no way you’d be able to do so unless you already knew of the location beforehand. No, this was your best and unfortunately only solution to this problem. 

Hands raised behind your head, you walked towards the base, towards what you think is where they let people in and out. As you walked out of the field, made your way past the gravelled road, and to the security booth that opened and closed for the appropriate personnel, you felt like you’d gotten royally fucked.

The man in the booth, who’d been previously occupied with his steaming hot cup of coffee, was now paying attention to you, who made their way up to the disk. He was wearing a uniform, origin unknown. This wasn’t like any of the official military uniforms you’d ever seen, rather something that looked like paint had been splattered across.

Its pattern had no form or style considering the environment around you. The camouflage downright sucked, and you’d be able to easily spot him if you’d put him out into the field.

“Hey,” You said as you looked at the man, hoping he didn’t mind the different uniform or the fact that you were armed. “Uh.” He voiced, and you stared at him. What did he not realize what to do in case of an enemy showed their face?

“I’m here for the uh-” Thinking a bit, you tried to think of a good reason to get inside, in case you could lie your way inside. “I’m here for the cursor exercise.” Great, making it up on the spot. “Card?” He asked, as if you even had that.

Searching your body for the non-existent card, you let out a loud groan, and tried your best to seem agitated. Pretending that you’d manage to lose it out in the field. “Shit, fuck, I must’ve lost it out in the field.”

The man scoffed, took a long sip of his coffee, and gave off a groan too. “Honestly cadet, how did you manage to lose the only thing that can get you in and out of base?” Cadet? No, you were technically a sergeant. 

“What do you mean cadet? I’m a sergeant.” You said, staring him down. Maybe you could try out the whole ‘superior attitude’ out on him? Get really pissed off until he has to let you inside?

“Oh, sorry sergeant, I’m… Don’t tell my boss… I can’t let you in without an ID though…” Oh was he sassing you? He wasn’t really, but you needed to think he was. “Are you disobeying me? I lost my card out in the field, and here you come and disrespect me!”

Leaning close on the counter, into the window, you gave him an angry glare. “I’m a fucking sergeant, and you disrespect me like this, private. Now let me the fuck in, or I’ll have you and your entire company running the 3000 meter 8 times. With 20 kg on your sorry backs. Now, let me the fuck in.” 

He looked a bit mortified, and honestly if you were in the same position you’d have been as well. “I’m sorry sergeant, I really can’t do that, I can call a superior but-” He stopped, and looked behind you, even more mortified. The man looked terrified.

Letting yourself look over your shoulder, you saw another man, whose distinction showed him to be a corporal. Fuck, even more people, now you were royally cucked. 

“What is going on here?” He asked taking a look between you and the poor man in the security booth. Turning around, standing tall, you took on another mean look. “I lost my card out in the field while doing a cursor exercise, and this… private, is not letting me in.”

The corporal took a look at you, then at the man in the booth, and then sighed loudly. “I’m sorry uh-”” Sergeant.” “But it’s the rules, even you aren’t supposed to get a pass at this.”

Okay, so it was going south, but you needed to get in even if you had to fight someone. “Look, I’m tired, I have barely had any food, I’ve been out for an entire fucking day running around helping cadets to become their very best. I just want to go shower and head to the barracks for some goddamned sleep. I’ve fucking deserved it. I have another card in my room, lead me there and I’ll be happy to show it to you.”

“I’m sorry ma’am but-” The man in the security booth started, and you gave him a nasty glare to shut him up. The corporal however, seemed a bit pleased with your answer. “Sure thing sergeant, don’t worry about it. I’ll lead you there.” Score.

“Great, I’ll be sure to tell your superior about how well you’re doing, and I’m truly sorry for this inconvenience.” You said, trying to act humble towards the corporal. Even if you were technically his superior, in reality and in this scenario.

Now would be a great time for 76 to respond, considering you had no idea what you’d be ‘stealing’. Maybe you just needed to stay put for this entire mission until Talon showed? Or you’d have to ask the corporal for information.

Walking through the base, you weren’t sure which direction you were supposed to be heading. No idea where the barracks would be, you tried to mentally map out the base. You were ill prepared for this mission, and everything seemed to be done on a whim.

Which is why you needed to create a new plan. You’d gotten in, you just needed to know your exact location as well as to where you’d need to be. Staring at the corporal, who was walking ahead of you. You needed to do something quick.

Feigning being hurt would get you to Sanitary, or they’d send you to a hospital. Maybe you should ask if the medics were available, or maybe that’d just make it more visible that you didn’t belong here.

Maybe you could tell the corporal that you were hungry? Looking at you watch, the time read 20:43, and considering the date, you were unsure if the cafeteria would even be open. Even though you had a feeling it still would be.

Wait, what if they didn’t have a cafeteria? Hell even the evening meal would be closed at this time. Damn, what were you supposed to do?

The corporal stopped and so did you. He turned, looked at you, up and down. “Excuse me sergeant, but where is your barrack?” Fuck, what the hell would you even be telling him? ‘oh yeah that building over there?’ and get an answer like ‘that’d be the garage sergeant.’?

God, you needed something to cool your nerves, like a cigarette or something. Even if you hated smoking, right now that’s kind of what you craved, aside from the snuff. That might be it? Taking a smoke break.

“I just need a cigarette first; it’s been a long day.” You said, as you seated yourself on one of the porches of the many buildings. The dim light didn’t help with the mood, even though it was fitting. 

“Oh, yea, sure.” The corporal answered, standing in front of you. Fishing out a cigarette packet out of your pocket, you ripped off the plastic wrapper and took out the cancer stick. Although they were a lot better for you now than they’d previously been, it still wasn’t healthy or good for you.   
‘Fuck, no lighter’ you thought, searching your pockets. Who the hell packs you cigarettes and forget the goddamned lighter?! 

“Oh I got you serge.” The corporal said and helped you light the cigarette. Taking a long hard puff, you felt the burning sensation in your lungs before blowing out the smoke. Brushing some stray hair out of your face, you leaned back on the porch. 

This felt like you were back on base, back to the first year of being a sergeant. Sitting on a porch with a lit cigarette in hand. Like a Déjà vu, Closing your eyes, you let yourself calm down. 

Thinking to yourself, you tried to figure out your next cause of action. Maybe you could just dismiss the corporal for the night? That would be the easiest way of being able to walk around on your own. 

But you knew something was bound to happen here sometime soon, and you needed to be prepared for that. You could technically just wander around until Talon showed up, but that’d look as though you were actually working here, making you the enemy instead of going after the same goal.

No, you needed to get somewhere with vital information, meaning you needed to find someone that knew the base in and out. The first thought that popped into your mind was the poor assistants. But you didn’t feel like putting them in that situation, they were already dealing with enough already.

The corporal would only have access to so-so much, you needed a higher up, with more access and knowledge. Maybe you could pry the corporal into calling his superior. Which is when you’d point a gun to the superior’s head and demand him getting you where you needed.

Another puff, and you opened your eyes, only to see the corporal staring at you, somewhat awkwardly. As you noticed his stare, he looked away, somewhat flustered. Ah yes, your womanly features. You’d forgotten about the somewhat impact you had on men who’d not seen an attractive woman for a good while.

This was beneficial to you, maybe that’s why he’d helped let you in, even though it went against any regulations that were set in stone. You’d use this to your own profit.

“Corporal, you’re allowed to sit down next to me y’know.” You said, patting the spot next to you. He almost jumped at your request, and quickly seated himself, looking even more flustered than he’d previously been.

You felt yourself mentally rolling your eyes. There was no need to be so awkward around you, you felt like you were a comfortable person. But who knows, maybe the bond between your superiors were more tense here than anywhere else.

“Cigarette?” Offering him a cigarette, he paid close attention to you and the packet of cigarettes. He almost reluctantly took one, before lighting it himself. You couldn’t help but let out a light-hearted breathy laugh. 

“Honestly, I’m not that scary am I?” The corporal only stuttered out a little ‘no-no of course not’. Putting your arm around his shoulders, you brought him close. “You see corporal, I’ve been out on this long ass mission, and I’m real fucking tired. I’m not in the mood for being nice when bullshit happens, but I’m a kind-hearted person unlike most of your superiors.”

He could only nod, as you felt yourself wanting to laugh even more. It was kind of cute actually, he was also kind of cute. Although you already had someone waiting for you back at base. Though he was kind of pissed off right now, and probably stressing about your whereabouts. 

“How’s your day been, corporal?” The man seemed to get even more flustered and blush-y, and you felt yourself wanting to gush about it. But you were on an important mission right now, so you couldn’t exactly do that.

“Uh, alright I guess?” He said, questioningly. Humming, you let your hands wander a bit, rubbing his sides, and finding it’s way down south. You could hear how much more strained his breathing became. This was highly inappropriate, and the two of you both knew it. 

But if you had to play the horny superior, you would. Anything was appropriate if it meant you didn’t have to kill anyone. 

“My days been kind of awful see, and I really do need something to make it better. Cigarettes only do so much for me, and you know, I really ought to thank you properly for helping me out back there.”

Smirking at him, you could see how much he wanted and needed this contact. You had him practically craving for whatever you’d be willing to give him. It was almost hilarious how much it looked like he needed your touch.

“I think we need a room for ourselves, hm? Got an office, or somewhere a bit more private? Where we’re allowed to be as loud as we want, in case something…” You leaned in close to his ear, and whispered the next part, “happens?”

The corporal leaned away from you, and you felt like you’d just made a major mistake. You had done something wrong, read the signs wrong. “I-uh, this is highly inappropriate, I can’t, not on base. Not with a superior.”

Oh, so he was just nervous about getting in trouble? Cute. 

“You honestly think I’d let anything happen to you? I’d just tell them I seduced you, used you. I don’t care enough about this job to actually think about all the shit I’d be in. Take the entire blame, so…” Putting your hand on his thigh, you slightly rubbed your hand up and down.

“You in?”

Even if it all seemed silly, this was surely a vital part of the mission. If he did agree to your fake proposition, it would mean he’d probably take you somewhere secluded, like an office per example. That meant you’d be able to get information etc. Maybe even throw him off his game, or whatever you needed to do.

However, you would try your hardest not to kill anyone, not another soul on your mind. Not any more blood spilled by your already far dirtied hands. You knew what you were capable of, and that scared you. Terrified you even. 

If everything could be avoided by a few relentless flirts, then you’d do just that. It seemed like it was working for now. As the corporal really looked like he was mulling it over.

“I think… Yes, you know what, fuck this. I’ve been stationed here for four years, and I’m still just a corporal, I deserve some damn recognition, I deserve to have some fun.” Hah, indeed you did soldier. He was game, and your plan was set afoot. 

“Good, then, you know where said action can take place? I’m not really up for fucking in a stock room, my back is already killing me.” You said, smiling a bit. Oh, this was too good. Yet again you marvelled in the fact that your feminine features could so easily win people over. 

“I think… My office is kind of crowded, and there’s lots of surveillance there. Uh – don’t you have an office?” Fuck. This wasn’t working out, this was a no-go, nope, you were fucking dead. 

“Really? My office? You want to fuck in my office?” Okay, maybe you needed to tone it down a bit, but you were trying to convince him to think otherwise. “Right, maybe not our offices…”

Good, finally, he was thinking straight. 

“The general’s office is better cushioned. Plus, he’s a fucking ass, I’d feel a whole lot better knowing I’d done that in his office. Then he could say whatever the fuck he wanted and I wouldn’t even care.”

General’s office? Taking you somewhere fancy now was he? Well, at least you’d be able to gain access to some secret and coded material from there.

“Yeah, you know what, fuck him. Let’s do it in his damn office.”

This plan was actually working better than you’d first thought. Not only had you managed to get inside, you’d also managed to win over a corporal and now you were oh-so easily gaining vital information.

Him leading you towards the office building, you prepared yourself mentally for the next step. You’d get him out of the room, make an excuse about getting water, protection or something alike. Then you’d just hook up the neat little USB in one of the computers and wait.

If there was still time, you’d just regret the whole scenario, act like it was a silly mistake, and that you could wait for the weekend. Potentially be able to get contact with 76, because this was honestly just ridiculous. 

You’re not sure if you’re in the right place, the right time, or if the information you’d be gaining would even be vital. Maybe if your phone hadn’t been fucking destroyed by the turbulence, you’d have been able to contact him.

Some way at least, most likely through your brother. Or he’d have called you, but as you’d previously thought, this was all very ridiculous. There was no way this plan would work, especially with this poor communication.

Little to no information, it felt like you’d been tossed out onto a mission like you had before. But you didn’t have a team to back you up, which meant you were none the lesser. Right now you were completely alone.

As you entered the office building, you passed through several locked doors, and entered a hallway, dimly lit. The long hallway gave you a flashback you didn’t even recall. Seeing blood smeared along the walls, staining the tiled floor.

Snapping out of it, you tried your best to not let the frightening image get to you. If it was a memory, or even your imagination, it couldn’t hurt you right here and now. Gulping down a slobber of spit that had somehow managed to form in your mouth, you were taking quiet steps towards the office.

The not so gentle clacks from the heel of your boots, made their presence as you made your wait to the dreadful place. The corporal typed in a code, and you heard the door click. Entering the room, you took a perseverance check.

Indeed, it looked cushioned, what with a soft looking couch and one of those top dollar swivel chairs. The carpet even felt soft underneath your boots. On the wooden desk, that looked as though it was imported wood, was the computer. Which would be your main goal as of now.

Whatever happened, you’d have to put the USB stick handing around your neck into that device. Taking a look at the corporal, he seemed a bit nervous, but more than ready. Great, you’d have to deal with this mess right now. 

“Give me your phone.” You said, not wanting anything to be recorded in any way. He looked unsure about that, but reluctantly gave it to you. Putting it on the desk you noticed something else that unfortunately sparked your memories.

A cigarette tray. 

A tray filled with ashes, and the remains of an old Cuban cigar. Biting your lip, you stared at it, as you felt a painful emotion cross your features. Your heart ached, and you felt like running back to base, back home.

But you couldn’t.

You couldn’t even tell him how much you… Honestly, you couldn’t help but miss him, but even as your heart numbingly ached, you had to finish this mission. The quicker you finished, the sooner this mission would be over and you could return.

Pulling out the hair ties, shaking your hair out, you tried your best to put on a ‘sexy’ vibe, even if everything in your body screamed that it desperately wanted to tear itself apart.

Pushing of the corporal’s hat, you let it fall to the floor, as you took a hold of his jaw, and leaned in close. Anything to make you feel good, right? 

Giving a trying, chaste kiss, it developed sooner than you’d thought, into a deep kiss. Despite the corporal’s attractiveness, he was a bad kisser and tasted like cigarettes. Too eager, lizard tongue, he down right sucked at making out.

Not like McCree had been, no, even though he had been eager, it was controlled, calming. He’d been taking his time, and so had you, like you would have had all the time in the world. Making the most of everything, making you feel good.

This just felt wrong, and with the pain in your chest, you couldn’t help but wanting to quit. Though, you couldn’t quit just yet. Sprawled out on the soft couch, you let him touch you, let him feed. But it was all wrong.

Until you couldn’t take it anymore, and until it was almost ready to start the fucking, you gently pushed his chest. Hovering above you, a little of your shared drool around his mouth, he looked at you confused. 

“Protection?” 

He looked as though the world had been torn apart over such a simple question. “Oh fuck that’s right, uh… I think I have something back at the barracks, just wait here.” Like you had another choice.

Taking off, you made sure the door was closed and he was out of the hallway before locking the door. The plan was afoot, and seating yourself in the swivel chair, you plugged the USB stick into the machine and let it work its magic.

Opening up the computer, you looked through several years of information within seconds and decided which were good and those which were crap. Opening up his e-mail you found exactly the information you needed. 

Any deep dark secrets were spilled and saved on the beautiful little device. In a matter of minutes, everything important was grabbed from under their noses, just because a corporal had decided to get frisky.

Then, you did the most unspeakable thing. You deleted everything. Everything ever put into the system, even all the backups that were digitalized. Now a days, everything was digitally backed up, and there was no way of restoring said system, or even all the information.

The USB stick held all the power, and seeing as you were the one holding it, so did you. Smiling a bit to yourself, you hooked it back onto its chain. A small sense of victory beamed inside of you, filling your core. Now all you had to do was roam through the paper archives and-

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

Shit. 

Oh fuck, you were dead.

That was not a voice you recognized, that wasn’t even the corporal. It was a feminine voice, if it was the general, you were royally fucked.

Wanting to reach for your gun, you decided not to, as you were unsure if the other person meant you harm or not. Said voice had come from behind you. But you weren’t turning your head, considering you were currently making an escape plan from this office.

“What do you want?” You asked, looking straight ahead, voice cold. This was highly dangerous, if they sounded the alarm, you’d be dead in seconds.

“My, don’t look so worried General. I’m just here for a little information, not going to do you harm unless you fight me.” General? So, maybe you looked like her from the behind or something. Or maybe the enemy knew, and was trying to get to you.

“What kind of information?” You asked as you readied your mind and body for an escape. The woman behind you sighed, as if you were that stupid and asking silly questions. You kind of were, who in their right mind would tell their enemy what kind of information they were looking for?

“I’ll make this quick and painless for you, but not if you continue to ask silly questions. You have information I need, rather this ugly little thing you dare call a computer. It’s systems is so old that you almost has to be there in person to gain information. Now, unlock it.”

Hearing a gun cock, held not so subtly against your head. You felt like laughing, and couldn’t help but let a little snarky laugh out. The gun was put more pressure on and it was almost painful how it was pressured into your skull.

But this situation was just so humorous! You’d beat them to gaining said information. With less equipment, and possibly less fatal injuries. Again, you’d beaten them by simply with your dumb luck and quick wit.

“Stop laughing chica, open that computer.” You knew that entering the wrong password three times would alert the security, and that meant you’d both be in deep shit. Seeing as you didn’t know the password, and the USB stick held advanced programming unlocking computers for you, you didn’t need to know.

“Look.” You started, as you leaned down, trying your best to stop laughing. Luckily you managed to stop. “You’re from Talon right?” Asking through your smiles, you heard the other woman stiffening. 

“How-”” I know a lot of things, like how you’ve gotten the wrong person, or the fact that your kind of too little, too late.” As the surprise was out, you knocked away the weapon, grabbed the pocket knife, pushed it to her throat and cornered her against the wall.

The woman was shocked, and you kicked her in the stomach, sending her wheezing. The knife was pressed deeply into her throat, even as she tried to hunch over, a human reaction. Knowing now that she wasn’t omnic, you took another look at her.

A side cut, revealing some purple LED-like wires that went into her head. Purple and pink seemed to be her gimmick, but you didn’t mind it. Even though it was terrible camouflage, she didn’t seem like the person that needed to hide for long, especially if she was wearing that kind of outfit. Just an in-n-out kind of person.

“Fuck, Gabe, we got the wrong fucking person.” ‘Gabe’ eh? That meant you were definitely doing something right. Everything just seemed to fit just right tonight. Like the last pieces of the puzzles were being laid down right in front of you, it was glorious.

“Hey Reaper! Talon on the same mission as me again? What a fun little run in.” Smiling at the woman in front of you, you put the knife away, back into its sheet and pretended like you hadn’t just put a knife to the woman’s throat.

Not like she knew, but you were kind of not going to kill anyone anymore. Which reminded you, the corporal could be back any second. This was going to be so fucking awkward, god damn it to hell.

Hearing the entrance door to the hallway opening, you cursed out loud and looked at the woman in front of you. Damn, you didn’t want that corporal dead, and Talon agents? They didn’t ask questions first.

“This is going to sound weird, but I’m kind of doing this little bit, and I need you to either jump out the window or hide underneath this table.” The other woman looked really confused, and you rolled your eyes, before promptly pushing her down.

The door unlocked and in came the corporal, a sweaty mess. Looks like he’s been running, stressing even. “I’m-” He panted, “I’m back.” Great, now to dismiss him. “Yeah look, something really important came up, and you need to get back to your station, I was just told you had a shift, or something? Anyways, let’s just call it a night, hit me up on Friday and we can rent a hotel room or something? Something off base.”

Somewhat reluctantly he nodded, and headed out the office, before muttering a cold ‘good night’. Sighing, the woman underneath the desk made herself visible. Crossing your arms, she looked at you like you were insane.

“Sweet kid, but dumb as hell. This is why you don’t break regulations.” The woman seemed even more confused, and it looked like it annoyed the hell out of her. Right, you hadn’t properly introduced yourself, and it wasn’t like you could expect every single member of Talon to know who the fuck you were.

“You confused?” You felt a slight giggle make its way from your throat, but you managed to supress it. “What the fuck is going on?” The woman groaned, pushing stray hair away from her face.

“Same mission, rarely happens, but eh, seems like Talon and I have managed to cross paths yet again.” Putting your hand out, as to properly introduce yourself, it looks as though a lightbulb dinged over her head. “Wait. Wait, just a second. No-no this can’t be.”

What can’t be?

Touching your face, mushing around your cheeks, and then looking up something on one of her… screens that materialized from her hands? You saw an image of yourself. Had it not been taken before a mission, you would’ve found joy in seeing the image, but it was just a reminder of another failure.

Even if the mission was finished, you’d lost people dear to you. A private you’d trained since he was a recruit, a woman whom you’d shared a dram and a couple laughs with, and a roommate. If not for the memories behind the picture, you might have taken joy in how pretty you looked.

“This… Is this you?” So that’s what she couldn’t believe. Yes, you could look terrifying, but as of right now you looked like a marshmallow. Considering you didn’t want to kill anyone anymore, you were practically not useful in any way either.

“In the flesh, 5-308 at your service.” The woman looked nervous, a look you guess didn’t often cross her features. She looked worried, which was a look people took on if they were guilty or knew something they shouldn’t. Maybe she’d heard a couple stories, seen a couple videos, pictures, the damage you’d caused.

“But, I guess we’re going to have to do one of our famous trades then, you got something to drink? We used to celebrate by sharing a flask.” Wait, what if she didn’t want to trade information? You didn’t want to get violent. The woman eyed you, and you realize that you didn’t even know her name.

“Who’s we…? Reaper?” Nah, mainly other Talon agents. Share a flask, share information, share protection. ‘Sharing is caring’ and all that. Somehow you’d never had to fight each other for information, just exchange it in a way. 

“Does it matter? You choose. I leave, go back to base, or I share what little information I got over a friendly conversation.” Maybe she hadn’t heard, or understood the friendly part, as she swiftly tried to punch you. 

Only for you to catch her hand, twist it and push her against the wall again. Making a scoffing noise, you felt yourself growing annoyed. “Friendly, emphasis on the word ‘friendly’.” You said, before dragging her body away from the wall, only to smack her back against it.

She yowled in pain.

You’d only promised not to kill anyone, not to not cause them harm. Especially if they attacked you. “Now, one more time, I have two options for you. You get to choose yourself. There’ll be nothing accomplished from fighting, but I will defend myself.”

Hearing another gun cock, you realized, you weren’t alone. If it was the corporal, or anyone on this base, you were royally screwed. Or you could try playing it off as though you were helping them defend their base, sent by Overwatch or something.

“5-308, she’s not your enemy.”

There was that raspy familiar voice. Time to play the game, and do your act. Releasing the poor woman from your grip, she almost scrambled to reach her weapon. Seating yourself on the table, crossing your legs, you grabbed a cigarette and put it between your lips.

“You mind?” You asked, as he did nothing but scoff. Alright, you’d have to look for something to light it up yourself. Sprawled across the table, you reach into one of the shelves and just your luck, there’s a lighter.

Lighting the cigarette, you took a long hard drag. It was disgusting, you knew it, everyone knew it, but god, it was just what you needed right now.

“Same mission? Though I suppose you guys were kind of late. I found something, but not before the entire system shut down. I don’t know if it’s a defence mechanism, but everything is fucking gone. Tried a different computer, nothing.”

The woman seemed to curse your existence as she started typing away at the computer. Well, she shouldn’t have attacked you, twice for that matter. Or was it three times? You didn’t remember, nor did you care.

“Anyways, how you been since the last time I saw you?” You asked, hearing the woman groan loudly. “Fuck, I don’t know how or what they did to manage to fuck it all up like this. It’s all gone, and the shit that’s left is so heavily encrypted it’ll take hours, maybe even days to fix and it might just be fucking trash.” 

Thankful for your brother being a genius, you felt like patting yourself on the back. He’d created said technology, and had been smart enough not to manufacture it for the public. Rather, you were the one and only who’d ever been able to acquire it and put it to use.

The woman continued in agony, trying to restore whatever shit she could gather, but you knew it was no use. You’d fried the entire system, and you were really happy with yourself. Except for what happened next.

Reaper grabbed you by the hem of your shirt, crushed you against the wall, making you drop your cigarette in the process. 

“We aren’t playing your stupid games, give us the fucking information right the fuck now, or I’ll have to kill you.”

Blanching out, you weren’t sure how to react. This was certainly not the outcome you’d expected. “Uh, sure? I mean, it’s not like I wasn’t going to share it, or even fight you about it? Stop being so fucking violent and pissed off about everything.”

Putting a hand on his chest you ever so gently pushed him off of you. “Safe space, then information.” You voiced, before you saw them nod at each other. Was that some kind of signal? 

“We got the info, backing out.” Oh-kay. How were they so sure you even had anything that wasn’t crap? Or even knew how to get you out. Honestly, you could probably walk around on this base by yourself, but with a purple woman and a guy with a skull mask it would be too fucking weird.

“Ait, how we doing this-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before hearing a loud explosion. Dragging the two down with you and kicking over the desk, you hoped that it would shield the three of you well enough.

Glass flew throughout the room because of the impact, the loud ringing noise hurt your ears, vision and mind. Looking at your arm, you saw that small pieces of glass had landed on top of it, and you knew you’d taken your pills this morning. Meaning that this was definitely the real thing. 

Reaper was back on his feet in the matter of seconds, before helping the other woman, leaving you to pick yourself up. The thanks you get for saving two people… No matter, you were trying to walk in a straight line after them, but kept having to stop because you’d almost topple over.

They started running, disappearing, and you were left there toppling over your own feet, trying to make it after a goddamned explosion. Tying your hair back, you could already see the dust settling and the remains. The destruction terrible, awful, frightening. 

This isn’t what you wanted, you hadn’t wanted anyone to get hurt, or dead. Walking through a line of rocks, cement and what looked like body parts, you held your head high, trying not to look at what you were stepping on. 

Now would be a good time to wake up from this never ending nightmare, you thought, trying hard not to weep. The effects were wearing off, and you could finally notice the aircraft, preparing for its escape.

Talon.

Something brushed against your foot. And looking down, you couldn’t help but wanting to scream. Looking back to the aircraft, you picked up your pace, and ran.

Something deep inside you was unsettled, not by the explosion, or the things it had caused. But the fact that you had now betrayed everyone you knew and loved, and that the point of no return had just been crossed.

Climbing onto the roof, your hands and arms stung. But making it to the top, you picked up the pace. Your heart ached, not from the run, but because you knew no one would ever love you ever again. No one would smile at you, no one would hold you close and kiss you.

No one would want to love you, surely not… Him.

Because you definitely didn’t deserve it now. Even if it hurt, maybe it was for the best? If they were going to kill you after all, maybe he could finally be happy and move on. But not before you told him how you truly felt, and the exact position you’d been put in. The truth, the whole entire truth.

The door closed behind you, and you sat down in the only free seat, before the aircraft took off. Screwed, you were screwed, and all you could think about was how much you missed Jesse, and how many people you now owed an apology to. If Morrison could only… Answer you.

Putting on the belts, you strapped yourself in. Pulled your hair back into a ponytail, and took a deep breath.

“Did you have to blow the place up?” You asked, because there’d been no literal point to it, at all. Did they just have some extra explosives lying around or something? “That wasn’t us.”

Then… Who the literal fuck was it?

“Who?” 

“That was Overwatch.” The woman groaned, before she wiped the dust that had formed on her off. Overwatch really blew up an entire base, just because? Innocent people died, and all they could do was say ‘woops, we were aiming for the 2 Talon agents’. You were going to have a long chat when you got back.

“What crawled up their ass and died? Never mind, don’t want to know.” Stuffing a snuff under your lip, you leaned back and took another deep breath. 

“So… This is her?” You heard the woman ask, and Reaper mutter a conforming reply. “I mean, from the pictures she looked a bit… different.” Wanting to scoff, you did exactly that, before closing your eyes and leaning back.

“She’s taller for starters, and stronger.” Oh, so she can give compliments after all? “Sorry about that, here, let me make it up to you.” Tossing her the box of snuff, she looked at it like it was some alien product.

“What, is this?” She asked, before opening the box, revealing white bags. A Swedish branded snuff that was better for your teeth than the usual box of snuff. “Just snuff.” You said, pointing to your prodded lip. 

At least you weren’t drinking, but using tobacco to drown your sorrows wasn’t a whole lot better. “Uh, no thanks.” She said before tossing it back to you. Eh, suit yourself. “Reaper?” You asked, offering him the same tobacco tea bag.

Staring at you, you took that as a no. Maybe you should make some pleasant conversation? At least get an introduction. Coughing a bit, you caught the woman’s attention.

“I don’t believe I caught your name?” As you said it, you felt like there was an elephant in the room you had yet to discover. Hearing her whisper something, you let out a ‘huh?’.

 

As she repeat herself, you realized.

 

“Sombra, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOO BIH, what a neat chapter
> 
> *Hacker voice* "IM IN."
> 
> Got some free time to write this, but I'll try my best to get another few chapters out by Christmas. Thanks for leaving comments and stuff, it really helps me get motivated to continue! 
> 
> Also for the announcement, I'm thinking about announcing it the 1st of December. Look forward to it babes <333
> 
> As always, I'm available on Twitter and Tumblr, so y'know hmu babes <333


	34. Members

Feeling your entire being begin to shake, you wish you knew a better way of calming yourself when you had all this anger bubbling inside you. There was nothing you’d rather do than lunge forward and choke the woman in front of you to death. Everything had been destroyed, the peace, the silence, your very freedom.

Torn apart by this one person, who were sitting just a couple centimeters from you. Repeating in your head was a chant to ‘kill’. But how could you? How could you take the life of someone, which hadn’t known. That didn’t know what she’d done to you, that she’d torn everything apart. 

Unknowing of all the pain and horrors she’d caused a veteran, the only remaining member of their family and your colleagues. There she was, minding her own business, chewing on something, most likely gum. 

Maybe you ought to start a conversation, but you were afraid that it’d result in you screaming and choking the life out of someone. Which was not an ideal situation. Attempting to converse with Reaper would not result in anything pleasant either.

Flirting with him now would feel like you were cheating, even though it had seemingly been so easy with that corporal. Bless his soul, hopefully he’d made it out of that blow, as you hadn’t completely perished in the explosion.

Had you only cared for yourself, you’d not have been in this situation right now. Seated in this aircraft on the way to your doom. But alas, today was just not your fucking day, nor had it been for a very long time.

“So. How do you know Gabe?” Sombra asked you, perking up a bit at her words, you tried your best to keep up some form of presentable persona, in order to not jump her. “A couple run-ins. I don’t quite recall the first time we officially met, but I think it was during the time we met in Russia?”

A hum in response, Reaper was still not making a noise, sitting in silence with his arms crossed. Of course, the stoic ‘edgy’ show he kept putting on, was present. Especially in front of company that is.

“What information were you assigned to gather on this mission?” She asked, and you could feel yourself starting to sweat a bit. Was she honestly interrogating you? Or was it just based off of plain curiosity? No matter, you were just going to do continue speaking in half-truths.

“No idea, they literally just dropped me off and told me to ‘get info’. I did, and here I am. What I didn’t expect was that fucking explosion, what the hell was that?” You said, the answer ‘Overwatch’ was so non-informative, it nagged at your very being.

“As I said, Overwatch.” Sombra shrugged, and continued to chew on the gum. Every little smack of her lips seemed to agitate you even more, you couldn’t help it. She chewed with her mouth fucking open, and you felt like telling her off how disgusting it was.

“Was that the people we ran into when we last met?” Trying to seem innocent, you’d finally asked Reaper a question. Hopefully he’d answer, and quit his attitude. “Yes.” As if you hadn’t known all along who they were, or what they were going to do.

“Oh?” Sombra asked, before smirking devilishly. Had she already known of the relations between the two of you? Had Gabriel really told her about your ‘run-ins’? You desperately wanted to know, but you didn’t at the same time.

“Two of you, all alone together? Am I smelling some romance in this air?” She asked sniffing almost animatedly, before she came to a ‘conclusion’. “Or, is it perhaps some sexual tension?” 

This wasn’t helping you in your situation, now Reaper would get pissed, and you’d have to lie your way out of this one as well. Or you could ‘acknowledge’ her suspicions and fuck up your relationship with Gabe. That worried you, as he was your ‘ticket’.

“Sombra.” A cold answer, in a cruel gravely voice. Reapers response sent a shiver down your spine, but you did your best to keep your cool. If your cover was blown, you were dead, and so was your brother. He’d be kicked out, and you’d have no way of protecting him.

“Alright, I’ll leave it.” She snickered, but you still didn’t feel at ease.

 

The rest of the flight continued in silence. You felt yourself become more anxious by the second. You had to be your best if this mission was to succeed.

 

As you landed, your gut started wrenching in horrible pain. But you kept up appearance. Nothing could prepare you for this, but you just had to continue. If you died, who’d watch over your brother? Not Overwatch. You were just a tool in their endless war against evil, just a soldier.

Just another person, just another document, just another grave.

 

You were nothing.

Yet you were so vital, to everything, if you could succeed.

Gearing up, which meant putting on your backpack, you escaped the dreaded aircraft. It felt as though you were at the gates of hell, but the facility looked rather nice. Very subtle, the outside looked like an abandoned warehouse, but you had a feeling it was far from it.

Entering, it looked what just as you’d imagined it. Empty. Looking towards Sombra and Reaper, you gave them a puzzled look, even though you knew this sure as hell was just the outer interior to ward people off. Because, why go up, when you can go down.

Sombra seemed to fool around with some of the buttons on a panel, which just looked like any other security system. Maybe you should continue playing the fool? Even if you knew far better.

“Empty warehouse?” You asked, trying to pour in a slight surprised tone in your voice. Hearing Sombra giggle, you knew you’d accomplished just that. But, you weren’t quite sure if Reaper had quite caught onto your acting. Hearing him huff, you knew that he knew. 

Knew that you were just acting. 

Which meant you’d either need to step up your game, or continue to walk slowly towards your death. The ground shook, before the floor opened. An amount of dust flew, hit your face with little preparation, at least you’d kept your mouth closed, but it still didn’t help. 

Trying your best to look awed at the sight before you was hard, you couldn’t pull it off. It didn’t surprise you, at all. You’d seen so many things like this, it was no longer something to get all giddy and surprised about. So you didn’t act, you just stared at it, with a somewhat bored expression.

“Aw, you weren’t expecting that now, were you 5-308?” Sombra sing-song in a demeaning way, but you had honestly been expecting that, the second you’d seen the abandoned warehouse. It was something anyone who’d ever had an imagination, could have expected.

“Impressive.” You said, trying to at least keep your act up with Sombra. Maybe putting on a fake persona in front of her would lessen your bloodlust. Because in reality, you didn’t even bat an eyelash at the sight in front of you. An elevator appeared, and you felt like groaning.

Such a ‘surprise’, wow. 

No reason to get all sarcastic now, but at least it lessened your anxiety. Entering the elevator, you stood in the back, with the brooding man, whom you’d once fallen for. Sombra pressed a couple different buttons on the elevator, before it started to move.

But it hadn’t moved in the way you’d expected it to. It was more or less you moving. One second you were inside an elevator, the next your were in the middle of a room with a man behind a little counter. 

“Welcome back - Who-” The agent started, before Reaper turned his head. That shut him up. You felt kind of shaken up, as you followed the two members of your new party. You’d just been teleported? Or had you spaced out long enough to appear at another location? 

The thought terrified you, because you’d honestly never teleported. It was so strange, you didn’t exist and then you did. But there was no point in getting existential right now, you had bigger problems to face.

Continuing your walk towards, well, wherever really, you felt yourself becoming a state of stressed that made you calm. When you were out on missions, you’d often be stressed, but if there was too much all at once, you short circuited and rebooted.

Refreshed, you felt like a blank slate. Even if any other person would be lying in a ball on the floor screaming in terror in a similar situation. But your poor mind couldn’t handle that right now, so it chose to focus on everything else. 

Like how happy you were that some people found you attractive. Next thing you know you were just smiling like an idiot while staring at your very own pair of boobs. Because, you did have a nice pair of tits. Then your mind wandered over to think about boobs in general, and how pretty they were.

Sure, it wasn’t very productive to think about tits, but, in dire situations, what else could you be thinking about? Probably your next move of action, but the thoughts about boobs were too alluring.

A snap of fingers, and you were out of your ‘trance’. Suddenly you found yourself in a room with three other people, two of them you’d never even seen before. Should you introduce yourself, or were you going to be introduced? Or maybe you should-

“5-308, how nice to meet you finally. We’ve heard nothing but good things about you.” A ginger woman said, before walking up to you to shake your hand. Doing so, you tried to utter a coherent sentence, but failed and kept your mouth shut as you shook her hand.

The handshake resulted in some strange form of study, as the woman dragged you closer and took a good look at your arm. “No chip?” She asked, as her expression had changed into that of a scary beast. Shaking your head, you felt very uncomfortable.

After tracing your arm with her hand, she finally let it go. Retracting it, you felt like you shouldn’t have taken off your uniform jacket in the aircraft. But you’d been hot, and it had helped then and there.

“You have some lovely veins, I wouldn’t mind working on a project with you, sweetheart.” That’s kind of what you wanted to do least in this world, after this mission. “Uh… Okay.” You finally managed to utter.

This was so far out of your comfort zone that it was literally off planet. She then returned to her seat, implying that you’d follow her and do the same. Hopefully not for her ‘project’. Seating yourself in a very uncomfortable chair, you felt like you were back in school.

Honestly, they had the worst chairs, which you were supposed to sit completely still in for a span of over six hours a day. Hell, you’d have rather seated yourself on the ground than these chairs.

“Okay, so.” Sombra started, as she, herself, sat down. Leaning forward, in interest, curiosity and schadenfreude, she finally asked you the question you’d dreaded for so long. “Show us the intel.”

Gulping, and chewing the insides of your cheeks, you felt as nervous as you’d have been before providing your superiors with your intel. What if it hadn’t been what they were looking for? What if it was potentially a danger to everyone, and you just handed them the way to rule, or potentially end, the world?

Tossing her the USB stick that hung around your neck, she fumbled a bit trying to catch it. Before examining the specimen in her hands. What, had she never seen a USB stick before? Sure, it was outdated like hell, but it still fucking worked.

“Alright, I’ll uh, see what I can gather from this information.” She said, before starting to tinker away at what you assumed was her arm. As she was continuing her work, you felt like all eyes were on you. Why wouldn’t they be staring you down? You were the anomaly here.

“Who’re you working for?” You heard the man, who you’d never seen before ask. But guessing from the fist, you knew he was someone you’d probably heard about before. He was special.

“At the moment?” You asked, as though you’d been rented out to several other people after you’d been dismissed. “I don’t need to know them, or who they’re working against. Part of the rules.” As if you had any rules. The old ‘Transporter’ movies you’d watched came to good use.

“A renter?” He asked, to which you nodded. A renter was someone that did odd jobs here and there, mostly to assassinate someone, or gather intel. Which you had. “Freelance renter, no company or boss.”

Just to really pin it down that you were working alone. Which you honestly kind of were, considering 76 still hasn't contacted you. It was actually making you a bit worried. What had happened back on base? Had McCree, your brother or someone else figured out that the two of you were working together?

“Looking for work?” You heard the ginger woman ask. Well, not really, you were kind of sick and tired of the one you had already, but sure, you should just play along. “Depends. How much are you willing to pay?”

Hearing Sombra snort a bit, you almost did the same thing. It was such an expected reply, a freelanced renter not looking for work? Are you crazy? 

“More than any of your other ‘jobs’ has provided for you.” Well, sure then, you’re up for a couple millions. “Sure thing, what’re we talking here?” You asked, somewhat entertained and curious what she was offering you. 

“An opportunity.” 

Nah.

“I’d rather have cash, but you’ve caught my attention.” You said, as you tried leaning back in your chair. After sitting in the chair for some time, it was honestly getting more comfortable by the second.

“We need intel on Overwatch.” OH? You do now, do you? What a fucking surprise, were you becoming a double agent now, or what? Would they each have you for a couple days each? Mondays to friday with Overwatch, and the weekend with Talon? 

“What do you want me to provide? Or do you just want some basic information?” Because, if Sombra had gotten the one USB you’d hidden away back at base, she’d have more than enough.

“You know they are hiding away your brother, correct?” A shocked expression smacked your face. They knew that they were the ones hiding him? Alright, what the shit?! “They are what now?” You almost yelled in shock. 

“We know you didn’t get there in time with your goons to help him, but I’d have never imagined them to take your poor, precious brother.” The woman, sounded as though she was talking to a toddler. Very demeaning.

Hearing Sombra scoff, you heard her mutter “He was just a pain in the ass… Nothing precious about him.” Which made you even more confused. They had somehow managed to figure out that you would be getting him, was this their plan all along?

Have you converted to their side, by using your brother as bait? Blackmailed into doing missions that you never wanted to do, just because they threatened to toss him out?

The woman moved around the table, turned your chair around, and smushed your face with her hands, which were more like claws as it really fucking hurt. “Yes, your precious brother, I’m so sorry sweetheart. Just after you lost your parents too!” 

How… How did she know all this? How did they know about the loss of your parents?

“I…” You started, feeling yourself get teary eyed. “Your parents, your wonderful mother,” On the desk an image of her popped up, of her holding you tight. It had been taken just after your first week off. Then another image popped up, of your father, it had been taken on your 20th birthday. “And your loving father.”

Swallowing a ball of spit, you felt yourself trying your best to suppress the sniffles that’d soon ensue, if she continued. “How, how did you get these?” You asked, in a kind of croaked voice.

Sombra perked up, and you looked at her. She smiled, knowingly, before she shrugged off some pride. “Just something I got from your brothers files. He’s very rude, he changed his password to the images on his personal files to ‘SombraFuckOff’.” 

The ginger-haired woman yet again caught your attention, “And we wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to him, you know? Who knows what kind of torture he’s going through?” The loss of his sister? The same year as he lost his own mother and father? Just because they decided to be selfish and sacrifice themselves for him?

“I… Didn’t he go into hiding because Sombra threatened him?” That earned a snarky laughter from across the desk. “He and I are not enemies, we’ve actually exchanged information several times. He even managed to get some on Overwatch for me.” 

What?

“What do you mean?” Hearing her voice an ‘duh’, you could feel her rolling her eyes. “Him and I, we work together. Sells Talon information, while working for some kind of military, or whatever. We have a pretty nice set-up. But he was worried they’d catch onto him, unfortunately they captured him, we need to bust him out.”

Your brother was working with Talon? But he-he hadn’t told you? He’d told you that he was worried that Sombra had vital information on him and asked for your help. But he, he hadn’t been worried when he was taken? He was, calm, he’d expected it.

“Which is where you come in, sweetheart.” This was honestly too much to wrap your head around, he had used you. 

“What if… He doesn’t provide you the information?” You asked in confusion, because that’s what you were. “We’d get the intel somehow, doesn’t really matter.” You heard Widowmaker say, her voice hasn’t changed since the last time you met up. She was still as cold as ever.

“I… Didn’t know.” Feeling yourself whisper, you felt weak, betrayed. He’d used you, to get information? He’d thrown your trust out the window, and he was your brother. Is this what he’d done after you lost your parents? Decided, ‘fuck it, I’m with Talon now’?

“We need the location, and codes to get in and out. If you can provide that for us, you’ll never need to work another day in your life.” The access cards in your backpack was enough, if you handed it over, you could destroy Overwatch.

“If he’s attained some valuable information while staying there, that’s the only thing we’ll need. Then we’ll never call upon the two of you ever again.” You felt like you were on fire. If you gave them the key cards, you’d be free. 

But you would need to betray all the people that loved you, cared for you and trusted you. Which was definitely an issue in this entire get up.

But did you even want your brother back, after what he’d done to you? 

What the hell kind of question was that?

Of course you did, he was your brother, you loved him.

“What about Overwatch then? They’d be our mortal enemies.” 

That much was true, they wouldn’t hesitate to execute you after betraying you like that. They were relentless, and you were outnumbered.

Hearing Reaper ‘tsk’, he yet again voiced his opinion “They should’ve stayed dead.” Thanks for your input, but how was this supposed to help you in any fucking way?

You needed time to think this over.

A long time, and some consultation.

“May I have some time to think about it? Because I do know how to get exactly that, but I just… Need to think about the consequences, if it’s really worth it.”

“See I told you, they aren’t up for the task.” The fist dude said, and you kind of agreed. You were actually, in fact, longing to not do anything. But this was too much for you, and you did need time.

“5-308.” Widowmaker spoke up, rising from her seat heading your way. You were hoping she wasn’t going to your face as well, because it was kind of hurting. Your face still squeezed in the woman’s hands.

As Widowmaker approached, you were let go, the sweet release upon you. She stood tall, staring down at you. “You want your brother to be safe? But you do not wish to become enemies with Overwatch, correct? Forgetting about this arrangement and going back home would be the wisest choice.”

Then it was decided, you were just going to leave, tell 76 that you failed, have a serious talk with your brother, and smooth things over with everyone. Maybe that’d work out? You’d kind of be free? Right?

“However,” Widowmaker was leaning in close, “That is not an option.” 

Well, fuck you and the horse you rode in on then.

She leaned back, crossing her arms.

“I’ve seen what you can do, you would finish the job, so now you have two choices. Do it by choice, or you’ll be forced to.” Forced? In what way? That’s right, your life was on the line here, and you didn’t want to die, not today at least.

“You were going to break in to save him anyways, but now you have a team backing you up. We are going to ensure your safety, and your brother’s.” Huh? That actually made a bit of sense?

“Can I not befriend them? Gain their trust, and get him out? I do think that’d work.” You said, to which you earned a hard slap across the face. The smack noise was loud, and you felt your cheek burning and tears forming.

“Do not be a fool 5-308. Them, friends? They care only for their cause, not whoever gets between the crosslines.” Rubbing your cheek a bit, you felt stunned. Not that you hadn’t experienced a lot of pain in the past, but it hurt a lot.

Wanting to reply ‘well, what do you know bitch?!’ was a line that played in your head, but you felt like it’d earn you some more hurt. “I’d never find peace ever again. Anywhere I’d go, I’d be a wanted woman.”

“Then join us.” The ginger woman said, and you felt unsure. You- you couldn’t just give up everything and join Talon. They were the ‘bad guys’. Yet here you were, actually considering it. What did you have to lose? 

Except everything?

Not like you hadn’t already, you’d lost everyone. The one person you cared for the most, had betrayed you. Overwatch had almost killed you several times. Sure, some of them were nice to you, but your loyalties lie with your family.

What had they ever done for you? Nothing you could think of that truly mattered.  
Betrayal, huh?

Must run in the family.

“I can acquire access to their facility. I already know the location.”

You voiced, knowing full and well, that you had betrayed everyone.

At that you heard a choking sound, and a loud, harsh coughing fit. Sombra seemed to be choking on her own spit. “You what?!” She all but screamed at you. Staring dead ahead at her, she seemed to be as utterly confused as you had been.

“Indeed. All of their bases in fact.”

Hearing the woman who’d pinched your face laugh with glee and clapping her hands, you knew the horrors that were to come. You’d just joined Talon.

“Wonderful. You were right Reaper, she truly is a skilled little soldier.” 

Reaper only gave you a glare, trying to bore a hole into your head. Matching his glare with a somewhat cold stare, you sat completely still in your chair as everyone started leaving. Except for Sombra, who was still freaking out.

As everyone except for the two of you had left the room, a loud ‘HOW?!’ was heard from the other side of the table. “I thought you were just a measly soldier!” She voiced in distress, making you chuckle.

“Always have been, always will be. Just because I can acquire some information doesn’t make me less of a soldier. My loyalties lie with my family.”

Pushing yourself up, with the help of the table, you headed towards the door. Standing still in the doorframe, you looked over your shoulder at Sombra. “I’ll need full access to the Overwatch archives, some of Talons as well, codings, whatever. Whatever information you might find useful to help me.”

She rose from the chair and followed you. Leading you through the hallways, before you stopped in front of a big door. Unlocking the door by the use of the keypads, you entered a room with lots of different desktop computers. 

Old fashioned? That was your style.

Maybe you should be thinking about how you’d betrayed everyone, how much pain and horrors you were causing? Or about how your brother had used you to gain access to more information, and use that against the people you worked for?

As Sombra typed away at the computer, she looked in distress. Keep switching her gaze between the computer and you. A few minutes later, and it looked like she was ready to blow up.

“Why are you doing this?!” She finally yelled, her outburst expected. “Why do you think?” You asked, rolling up a swivel chair. “You’re betraying your people, you know that right?! I thought you were a soldier, one who fought for their country and everyone’s well being? You’re way more suited for Overwatch than Talon, I just don’t get it, and how do you even know where their locations are?!”

“I’m aware.” You replied coldly. “The second I was dismissed without good reason, forced into a civilian life, without so much as a penny, I realized how little they truly cared about me. That’s why I became a renter in the first place, no one wanted me, I was seriously messed up.”

Which in fact, you were.

“You know that they will be going for your head once you’ve done this, you won’t find peace ever again.” Deep inside you knew, you’d never have that glorious civilian life anyways. “Peace? That’s boring. Would mean nothing for me to do.”

Though you also felt like you longed for it. Any choice you would have made, would’ve resulted in the exact same thing. No one would ever leave you alone. There wouldn’t be any peace at all.

“And the information I’ve required, is strictly confidential.” 

At that Sombra went quiet. She kept on typing, opening files upon files, photos, whatever she deemed necessary for you. “Y’know… Even though your brother can be a pain in the ass, he’s still… He’s still a human being, when I heard that he’d been captured I, I was pretty upset.”

Hah! As if.

“He’s helped me out of a lot of tough situations, even though I’m a mastermind, he’s been very… Good to have.” Oh shit wait, was she serious? Here you’d thought the genius that is hackermaster Sombra didn’t care if your brother lived or died.

Humming in reply, you promptly seated your ass next to hers. All the information she’d gotten you seemed very confidential, this would definitely bring down Overwatch, alongside the information you had.

“If he… If he’s dead, I just, I want you to know that he was a… Friend.” ‘Friend’? Did Sombra have… feelings? For your brother? And here you thought the two of them wanted each other dead.

“This all?” You asked, as she moved a bit away from the screen. Reading through some of the files, you saw files on the different members, information about the different weapons, some about their somewhat locations, which honestly wasn’t completely off, and some other intel you’d wished you hadn’t read.

“All you need, I think. We’re… Anyways,” What was she going to say? What did she know? “Here’s some codes I think might be necessary, I’ll hook you up with a secure line if you need it, I know you have some contacts you’d rather not mention. ‘Confidential’ and all.”

Not that you really needed it, because who would you even be calling? Your brother who was supposed to be ‘captured’? Nope too risky.

Sombra left, but you managed to utter a ‘thank you’. before she completely left. Sighing loudly, you looked upon the tons of files she’d managed to get you. A lot of useful information, about Overwatch, and some important codes and information à la Talon. 

As you sat in solitude, reading through tons of the files, you tried to spot anything that might catch your interest. Before you heard a loud crackle over the ear communicator. You yelped in surprise. 

“Soldier! I’m so sorry.” What the fuck?! Had he just decided to answer, just now?! When it was all too late and gone to shit. “What the hell do you want?” You asked out loud. You were honestly quite pissed off, and hurting all over. Not only from the stress and emotional breakdown you were bound to have soon, but also from the fucking explosion.

“How can you always sense when I’m there?” 

Okay, that was not 76’s voice. Turning your head, you saw smoke. Damn, had Reaper been creeping on you the entire time? Luckily for you, you hadn’t said anything that might have suggested that you had been working with Overwatch.

“6th sense or whatever.” You said, trying to sound as agitated as you’d started out to be. Because now you were just scared he’d figure out that you’d been talking to Soldier 76. “I’m sorry.”

Yeah, he better fucking be. This was way out of line, and you were honestly too damn tired to be dealing with any of this bullshit, you were so stressed you felt yourself losing all your hair.

“For this?” You wondered out loud. “I know you wanted to leave this life behind you, that you now have Overwatch after you. I shouldn’t have brought you in, but, you’re safer here than being all on your own.”

“Because I’d have to save my brother either way you mean?” Maybe you should turn off the comm link, but you couldn’t do that with Reaper standing right there. He’d notice and you’d be killed for being a double agent.

“Indeed, you’re safer here with us, with me.” 

Usually you would’ve found it sweet that he cared for you, but there was that tiny part in the back of your head that screamed that this entire scenario was wrong. That you didn’t love Reaper, that you were in love with Jesse.

Because you were, you were in love with Jesse. His gorgeous smile, his flirtatious nature, and the fact that he truly did care for you. Sure, your relationship had been wonky lately, but under completely different situations, you would have fallen in love with him all over again.

Reaper materialized in front of you, too close for comfort. “I’m glad you’re here with me. I’ll protect you, you’re my everything 5-308.” As sweet as his words were, you knew that in this lifetime, the two of you just weren’t meant to be.

But when he leaned in close, covered your eyes and kissed you, you somewhat wished the world was different. Not so you could be with him, but in a way that you would be kissing McCree as of now. He’d tell you everything was going to be alright, watch over you when you were upset, kiss your tears away.

It was all ruined, just because someone decided to be selfish. Just because Soldier 76 had seen you kissing Reaper, and here you were again. Kissing the man, who’d caused you so much hurt.

At least Jesse would’ve been a better choice, he was a ‘good guy’. He was someone that saved people, a true hero, and here you were, a villain. If you survive and ever get a one-on-one conversation with him, you don’t believe he’d ever forgive you.

Gently pushing Reaper away, you panted a bit. He was intense, passionate, but alas you didn’t, couldn’t, return his feelings. Giving him a melancholy smile, you told him that you had work, and mustn’t be distracted.

Still keeping your eyes closed, out of respect for his privacy. He put his mask back on, muttered something and vanished. 

How you wished you were back on base, huddled up with your sweet southern cowboy. But here you were, a Talon agent.

“Explain.”

You heard, and honestly you wish you could explain everything, but it’d ruin your newly founded plan. “Rather not. Just know that I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, soldier, what have you done?”

“A lot has happened, I’ve had to form a new plan.”

 

Because in the end your loyalties did lie with your family.

 

Overwatch was your family.

 

“Remember the interrogation room, place my brother there, beat him to a pulp. I’ll leave you the information on my way out. We’ll be entering ‘home base’. Get out any critical information, but do not inform anyone about this attack. No one can know of this plan. It’s very important and vital to the mission that no one knows. Attack me if necessary.”

“You did it, didn’t you?”

‘Join’ Talon? Yup.

“I’m no longer part of the team, I’ll be resigning.”

“Understood, I’m sorry for all of this.”

Eh, there wasn’t much you could’ve done. Plus, you’re brothers actions were redeemed for now.

 

“You fucking ready? I’ll be going in for the kill.”

 

“Never been more ready, pleasure working alongside you, 5-308.”

 

War is hell, and it had only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHHAHAHAH ye, this is going well.
> 
> As for the announcement, I'll be announcing it later tonight!!
> 
> Hope ya like it, as always, I'm available on Tumblr and Twitter, hmu for whatever :)))))


	35. A happenings

Hidden away in your bra, there’d been another USB stick.  
Plugging it in, you downloaded the information you needed, now all you needed to do, was pretend that you were actually making an effort as to getting into the base. The key card was just enough, this was turning into such a low effort mission that you almost wanted to cry and celebrate at the same time.

Aside from the fact that you were definitely going to get killed by Overwatch or shunned for life, you’d at least be do your part and keep your brother and you safe. You’d be keeping everyone happy, Talon wouldn’t bother you or your brother, Overwatch would begrudgingly hate you for teaming up with their enemies, but at least you’d done your job for them.

Which consisted of ‘betraying’ them, to gain some vital information for them. If McCree would even want to talk to you afterwards, you’d be thrilled. But you kind of understood it if he’d point a gun in your face and pull the fucking trigger. 

Rubbing your face, you felt so stressed about everything. Your gut had been acting up, and you felt really nauseous. You missed being able to lie still in bed and not do anything. That’s all you wanted to do.

Maybe catch up on a show, eat some snacks, lie underneath your covers and sleep. 

As fate would have it, that was not something you were allowed to do at this very moment.

The USB stick had all the contents loaded, and you were done for the day. Putting the fine little device back in your bra, you felt unsatisfied. There wasn’t much you could do about this whole situation, and you’d found a somewhat solution to satisfy mostly everyone. 

Though, you sure as hell would miss everyone. You’d definitely miss Hana, for starters. She was sweet, cute and so kind to you. If the two of you were to fight, you’re not sure you’d want to. She should’ve been left out of all of this. 

In fact everyone should have been left out of the mess that’d been made. But that’s just not how it seemed to work. You’d miss helping Mercy out, she would, on some occasions, let you help out by nursing people back to health. You’d miss every little gentle conversation with everyone.

Hell, you’d even miss Hanzo’s nagging, and your little arguments back and forth. But most of all, you’d miss McCree. How you longed to just be held in his arms, feeling safe and protected. Sure he’d locked you up, but that seemed so long ago. You’d even retaliated by kicking him in the face, probably breaking his nose. 

It seemed so long ago since you’d been able to just work as a cleaning lady, and now you were back on your bullshit, going out on missions again. ‘Old habits die hard’ was a fine little quote that seemed to be haunting you.

Should you perhaps make a plan as to what you were to do after this mission? Maybe you’d travel a bit? Or settle down. Though, you wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about what you’d done, and over six months of no employment with no ‘steady income’ sure as hell didn’t look good on record.

‘Why did you leave your last job?’ Well for starters I almost got killed, and betrayed literally everyone. So you know, hire me. I’ve killed people, ain’t afraid of working retail.

Maybe you’d go into teaching? You had been a sergeant, maybe if you took a couple classes, you’d be able to get good enough skills to help teach children? That way you wouldn’t feel guilty about forcing a child into this cruel world, constantly afraid of them getting killed by your enemies.

Chances were slim of you getting a child in the first place, you’d been shot a couple times very close to your uterus, maybe you were sterile? That would have made you pretty sad actually, you’d wanted a child and a big family since you started your twenties. 

If you could even do half the job that your mother did with you, they’d turn out pretty good. Scrunching your eyebrows together, you felt your eyes starting to water. If you eventually did have a child, they’d grow up without a grandmother and grandfather. 

Your mom wouldn’t even be able to meet their grandchildren. There’d be no Sunday family dinners, no grand christmas dinners, and no childrens birthdays. They wouldn’t be any birthdays were they were spoiled rotten by your parents. No family vacations.

Drying off a couple tears, you felt like your non-existent child had been robbed of such fine grandparents. Your mom had never really pushed you on the thought of settling down and having a child or two, but you knew it would’ve made her very happy. 

While your father wouldn’t be able to take them out fishing, showing them the icky insides of the first mackerel they’d caught. There’d be none of that. They wouldn’t even get to join you for their first day of school, or even graduation.

For the first day of school, your mom would have helped you fix their hair, making them less nervous about it all. She’d talk to the other parents, probably sit down next to them to make a doodle or something, while she had a bitter cup of coffee, complimentary from the staff at elementary school. She’d help you when you felt heartbroken about leaving your child, telling you how that’s exactly what she felt and that it’d be alright.

God, you missed your mom so badly. If you were busy and working overtime, you could probably have the child sleep over at your parents place. Your father would probably have brought out the guitar, and played really old board games with them. He’d toss them up and down, so happy to have a grandchild.

But, they didn’t get to have that. None of you did. 

Curse the drunk driver, curse him to hell. You’d wanted to choke the life out of him the second you saw him, who the fuck drunk drives?! Your parents had been out for a walk together, probably talking about how much they missed their children who were off into the world, fighting crime, when it had happened.

Fuck, you missed them both so badly. Gently sobbing, sniffling, and trying your snot with your hand, which was pretty disgusting, you felt empty. Your brother had betrayed you, and you had literally betrayed everyone.

Well, not everyone, not Soldier 76, but only because he knew. You wished so badly that you could’ve talked to the others and explain your situation, but how could you tell them that? They wouldn’t try to kill you, thus killing you. If Overwatch didn’t attack you Talon would.

You were dead no matter what you did, at least you’d play your part in all of this. At least you wouldn’t just tell everyone to fuck off and leave. Though… What if you did? What if you just told Soldier 76, that you didn’t want to do this mission anymore. 

If he decided to kick out your brother, what would even be the issue anymore? Your brother wasn’t a wanted man after all, he was free as hell. You could tell Talon, that your brother was released, and just deal with their wrath later, if they bothered.

Was that honestly a solution anymore?

Just say ‘yeah no, I don’t wanna do this anymore, see you guys never.’?

Leaning back in your swivel chair, you honestly thought about it. Maybe you should air out the idea? “Hey 76, what if I hypothetically didn’t want to do this anymore?” You said, barely audible, hoping it got through.

“What do you mean?” Well, what you meant was, that you kind of didn’t want to do this anymore, and there was literally no consequences for saying ‘no’ in your head. “What if I just left? Like, I wouldn’t be a wanted woman anymore, would I? If I fail this mission I mean.”

“Are you honestly asking what would happen if you betrayed me?” Yes, you were honestly asking. “Your brother would be kicked out, do you remember? That’s the reason you had to do this mission in the first place.” That was no longer an issue in your head. If he was kicked out or not, it didn’t matter anymore.

“He could manage it on his own, you know. I think I might’ve just overreacted, I guess?” You said, scratching the back of your head, ruining your hair do. “Overreacted? You’re honestly going to let him get killed by Talon, because you don’t want to do a mission anymore. That’s pretty heartless of you.”

You know what’s even more heartless? Fucking you over, and betraying all the people that loved you, just because he wanted some fucking intel, that he could probably get himself.

“I said hypothetically, didn’t I? He has some other contacts that he can stay with, worst case. You were just my first option I guess, and it’s not like I technically brought him in. That was all on Hanzo and McCree.”

Hearing him sigh, he sounded pretty tired. Not as tired as you, mind you, you were going way past 24 hours of no sleep. Plus you’d been through some pretty physically and mentally tiring bullshit, so you were probably even more tired than him. 

“You’re going to let your brother die?” No, of course you wouldn’t. Even if he’d betrayed you, kind of? Working with Talon wasn’t exactly betrayal, when you thought about it. Sure, it wasn’t a good thing, but he wasn’t exactly doing anything you hadn’t been doing. Providing them with some information in dire times.

No, he’d just betrayed you by portraying them as the enemy, when he was really just fucking shit up for Overwatch. Who had been deemed as criminals by society on several occasions. All these grey lines shit, was getting to you, and you felt even more exhausted.

“I have other people he can stay with you know. He’ll be more than safe with them. And I did say hypo-” “If you don’t do this, you won’t have to worry about them killing him, because I will have done it first.”

Oh.

Well.

Maybe you should go through with this mission after all then?

“Ait, then don’t worry, at all, I got what I needed, just be prepared I guess.”

Your question had been answered, and even if it wasn’t a very satisfying answer, it was still an answer that solved your little dilemma. At least now you knew that you couldn’t leave and pretty much only had one option.

“Have you gone through with your side of the plan?” You asked, while stretching, hoping that he’d at least done his part in this hellhole. Lock up your brother and fuck him up a bit. Although it was cruel, it had to be done in order for this plan to work.

“Yes.” Hm, maybe you should’ve cared a bit more about 76 roughing him up, but as you’d been betrayed by him, and knew this was the only solution, apparently, it just had to be done.

“When will you be arriving?” He asked, and you mulled over the thought. Tomorrow? Would that seem too soon? You were technically done right now, but you shouldn’t let them believe it was that easy. Maybe you could take a nap? Get some coffee?

“Dunno, just be ready. Don’t let the others be though, but try to get Efi out of there. If it gets too ugly, I don’t want her to see something like that. She’s just a kid.” Even in the most difficult of times, you still worried about children. Civilians didn’t deserve shit, they were not made for war.

You hadn’t been either, but honestly, who is? War is fucking hell, you sit in a ditch, filled with muddy water. Freezing your ass off in the night, wishing to hopefully return to the ones who love you. You crack a few jokes with your partner, who often becomes your best friend.

Sharing laughs, trying to be a bit more optimistic about the future, although the two of you know that at any given second you could be killed. You’ll give each other some water, maybe even some snacks that you saved from your field rations. You’ll love your partner, because they make you less scared, not facing fear completely alone.

Then you’ll hear gunshots, and act upon such, staring through the aim, for any signs of movement. Looking for the enemy. Then more gunshots will be heard, bullets will fly over your head, zip past your ears.

Reacting upon such, you’ll of course shoot back, or freeze like a deer in headlights. Then you’ll hear your partner scream in pain. A chilling scream, until they no longer make any noise. You’ll withdraw fire, cover yourself, and try to rescue your mate. But it will be too late.

War is truly hell, and there’s not much you can do about it. Just play your goddamn part and hope for the very best. Hope that the earlier very much alive partner of yours will make it through. But you just don’t know.

Maybe you should stop thinking about such horrors, maybe focus on something else?

Leaning back, as far as the swivel chair would let you, you tried thinking happy thoughts. Maybe McCree would understand what you’d gone through? Perhaps he’d forgive you for your poor choices? Not like you had much of a choice, but what if you’d have told him about it all? That you didn’t want to fight? 

Not like you hadn’t tried that tactic already, you’d told him several times that this is not the outcome you’d preferred. Rather, you’d been tricked and blackmailed into this. Who was to blame in all of this?

Sombra? Not really, she hadn’t done anything, rather she was trying to save your brother. Even if they had a fucked up work relationship, you respected her a bit? Was it your brothers fault? Kind of, if you absolutely had to blame someone. But even so, he had only wanted to be safe, you guess.

Was it Soldier 76s fault? Mostly? He was the one blackmailing you into this mission, if it hadn’t been for him, you would probably just have continued your cleaning lady job. At the same time, you had been partially working with his enemy, and you were a tool that definitely should be used if possible. 

Perhaps you were the one to blame in all of this? You had been working with Overwatch’s sworn enemy, even romanticizing one of their agents. You’d also somewhat forced your brother on base, and to top it all off, you were the one playing your part in all of this. Seemed like if anyone was to blame, it was you.

Scrunching your nose at that, you didn’t feel like facing your responsibilities. But this was kind of what not doing so had led to, some adult you were. Not that you were old and experienced either, but you were supposed to be smart enough to make your own decisions.

You should go back to thinking about Jesse. If he didn’t hate you for some reason, what would you even do? Tell him you love him, start a relationship and let it work itself out from there? Ask him out on a date? There were several options, but only if he forgave you, and you survived.

A gentle knock on the door, made you turn your head. Seeing Sombra in what you believe was her chill clothes, holding two cups of something steaming, you felt a smile tug at your face. Remembering that these were supposed to be the ‘bad guys’ was hard when they treated you well. Although you knew they only did that because they thought you were capable of helping them out.

“You still up?” You asked, as she seated herself on the desk. She handed you a cup of cocoa, and it took you a couple seconds to ask yourself whether you should drink it or not. “Yes, I rarely sleep during the night.” What kind of edgy shit answer was that? Ignoring it, you thanked her for the cup.

“How’s your progress?” She asked, staring at the computer, at the files that were still opened up and that you were roaming through. Not like it was necessary, you were just snooping a bit.

“Going. I’ve gotten a bit more intel on what we’ll be facing, that’s first part of the progress. Know your enemies. Then I’ve barely started getting a feel to how their base will look like. Some kind of A.I. type of thing, facial recognition. I don’t believe there’ll be any visible vents to sneak through either.”

God, you were good at lying on the spot. Somehow you just managed to be quite literate today, which was kind of nice, considering smooth talking was an absolute for this mission to work. Charm and charisma stats were off the roof tonight, it was somehow your strongest traits, which was somewhat incredible you thought.

“Hm, I agree, you gotten a layout yet, or do you need help with that? I can 3D model while you tell me about the base.” Well, even though you knew the entire base in and out, you couldn’t tell her the complete map, or else suspicions would arise.

“It’s underground for starters, most bases on that level, so close to a city has to be. Unless there’s a, uh, teleporter like yours. It’s an entrance at least. From what I could deduce on the maps and some images, it’s not very obvious, looks like a shackled old office building on the outside.”

Which it really did, a good hiding. Over your heads lay an old office building, with actual companies working there. You’d greeted some of the employees there even. They had no idea who you were, except for a cleaning lady. They also knew nothing of what lies underneath.

“With their technology it’s safe to assume so,” Sombra said, looking at some of the images you’d managed to find. They were blurry, kind of shitty, but it clearly resembles what it was supposed to be. 

“However, we’d be able to see the electricity activity if they actually had a teleporter there. Can you look up the offices electrical bills?” Sombra asked, as you did just so. You felt a bit amazed at her tech skills, and logical thinking. You’d have never thought of that.

Everything was digitized, anyone could find the info, if they just knew where and what to search. Finding the records of the office buildings electrical bills, Sombra looked them over, as you had a sip of cocoa.

It was in fact a very delicious hot cocoa, and you had to stop yourself from guzzling it all down in favor of not burning your mouth and throat. Truly Sombra was amazing, especially at making steaming cups of cocoa.

“This is really good.” You whispered, letting her do her bidding. She was kind of cute with such a concentrated face, with her pouting lips and hand scratching her chin. You were a bit jealous at how comfortable she looked though, wearing some grey sweats and an oversized black hoodie. The look fit her, she suited wearing chill clothes.

“Ah, there we go. No teleporter, but it’s obvious the companies paying more than the usual for electricity. Something shady is going on in their basement.” She smirked, and you gave a casual nod. If 76 was still listening, you hoped he was swiping all the computers of the other secret locations of your bases.

“Indeed.” You said, skimming the bills which had appeared on the screen. Sombra erupted into gleeful giggles, as if she’d just caught them red-handed. Which she kind of had, even though it was your work.

Then she pulled up another swivel chair and seated herself next to you. “How many floors do you think they have?” She asked, making you think for a bit. Well, you only knew of six floors, but you also knew that they apparently had secret floors. Which meant that you didn’t know the exact number, but had a somewhat thought around it.

“10? I mean, how far can they even go down before they hit the mountain. Probably not too far. Meaning, it could be wider than what you’d think. My brother is probably kept on one of the lower floors, wouldn’t you agree?” You asked, hinting to your ‘imprisoned’ brother.

“Agreed, uh-” She seemed to be thinking a bit, before opening up the projector on her arm. She quickly tapped on it, until another image popped up. Something that looked like a base. “Now, tell me where you believe the different places are.”

Well, this was easier said than done. You couldn’t be 100% accurate, but you could at least tell her the basics? “It really depends on what type of base it is, but there are the basics. Sanitary, mess hall, designated sleeping areas, offices and of course where they keep weaponry and ammunition. Those are priorities, so they’ll most likely be kept on the higher levels. Lower levels could be everything from cells to labs.” 

Bland answers, even if you knew better. At least you’d told her the basics and your assumptions. She quickly named the different floors after what she thought would be the different levels you’d described. 

It was kind of accurate? Which was a bit incredible, but you dismissed the thought, as you continued your little informational talk. “That’s step two, I can’t get it 100% accurate either. Step three would be…” You were thinking, what the fuck should step three be?

Usually that was all the information you’d gained for missions, step three usually meant gear up and go get them. What other things did you both need to know? You had people and locations down. Perhaps you ought to make a plan of tactics?

“We need to make a tactical plan, what’re everyone’s strong suits?” You asked before she looked at you dumbly. As if you didn’t know, but truly you didn’t. Sure, Sombra was the ‘hackerguy’, Reaper could turn into smoke or whatever, and Widowmaker was a sniper. Maybe that guy with the huge ass fist could do something with that, but honestly you weren’t sure about what their abilities were.

“Leave that to Gabe, he likes to think he’s useful.” Wow rude, but also kind of funny. Earning a snicker at that comment, you felt really tired. Way past your bedtime at least. Looking at the time on the old desktop computer, you saw the time. Maybe it wasn’t past your bedtime.

It was around 13-ish in fact. You’d been awake for over 48 hours. Not like you counted, but that would explain why you felt over-tired. That might even explain why you’re stressing and overthinking everything as well. You needed a nap. 

“Alright, when will we be departing?” You asked, stretching a bit and cracking your knuckles. Sombra shrugged. “Whenever you’re finished figuring a way into the base.” Consider it fucking done then.

“Well, my contact didn’t have any way of getting in, sorry. He only knew of the location, so…” Trying to bring their hopes down a bit before thoroughly impressing them. Hearing Sombra whisper a damn, you knew your plan was working.

“However, I might have figured out a way.” This was acting, you were a beautiful young actor with great skills. So much love and effort put into your acting.

“You have?” She asked bewildered. ‘Yeah, a fucking key card’ you wanted to reply, but it seemed to effortless though. “We need a way of getting in there without them believing that we’re the enemies, they don’t know me from previous encounters, but their prone to shoot on sight if they see you? Correct?”

That earned you a slight nod. They’d kill Sombra if they got the chance, all of Talon.

“We need them to believe I’m there for another reason. Maybe set up a business meeting or something similar? An exchange of information? Or perhaps they could ‘capture’ me, and I’d be able to turn off their security?” 

Although you would just be using your keycard to gain access, easy peasy lemon squeezy. That was just going to be the end result. 

“So you’re thinking about sacrificing yourself for the mission? What if they kill you?” She asked, to which you shrugged. Wouldn’t be the first time you’d have been forced on a suicide mission. Hopefully the last though.

“I’ve been on suicide missions before.” You said, to which Sombra went quiet. Before throwing her cup on the ground, the glass shattering all across the floor. Jumping a bit, one hand clutched your shirt, the other your gun. “No.”

Uh. No? 

Wasn’t like you actually meant something to them, or that they wouldn’t kill you if they knew you were a double agent.

“5-308, you are not sacrificing yourself for this stupid mission. That’s the ‘Overwatch’ way, not Talons.” Uh. Alright? “Your brother is important, but so are you. We’ll just figure out another way.”

Oh. You were honestly quite shocked, were Talon really the bad guys in all of this? No matter, you just kind of wanted this all to be over with.

“Then I… I don’t know, I have another way I think, but it’s very risky. Not as risky as getting captured, but I might get captured if I do this. It’s best if you don’t know, if you ask me.” Thinking of the key card, you just couldn’t tell them it was that simple. 

“Best if I don’t know…” You were kind of hoping she wouldn’t press you on the matter, and it seemed like she didn’t. “Now for the civilians in the building, I’d prefer it if they were nowhere near us when we attacked. If not for the fact that they’ll be in the way, because I don’t want any harm caused to them if something were to happen.”

“What, like them deciding to blow up the base?” Nodding at that, you sort of knew they wouldn’t. “No one needs to die, if we manage to do it correctly. We wont open fire, only defend ourselves. The military finesse.”

At that she kind of snorted, but you were dead serious. No more deaths, no more of that. One death is one too many. You’d lost too many, and had to defend yourself too many times, you just didn’t want anymore lives on your conscious.

“At night then? During the weekends?” That meant most people would be off base as well. Potentially attack them before breakfast, they’d be ill prepared in that case. You needed to discuss it with 76, to send them on a mission or something, the less people, the less casualties.

“Weekend, 4-ish. That’s when they’ll be the least prepared. Maybe we could cause some sort of distraction? Somewhere far away from their base.” Hoping Morrison caught the last of that, you continued with your little planning.

“Meanwhile, we’ll get prepared, sort out who does what, etc.” You said, feeling yourself grow tired. “I agree, if we were to attack tomorrow, I’m not sure we would be well prepared, most of us are pretty tired. And from the looks of it, so are you.”

Yeah, you were pretty tired, you probably had designer bags under your eyes. You were insanely fatigued, and needed a nap. This meant that Soldier 76 had time to prepare as well. 

Yawning, and stretching some more, you felt your body weakening. Damn, you were so fucking tired. “I’ll follow you to your bunk.” Sombra smiled, a strange genuine smile from someone who you’d thought to be a trickster.

There was something that seemed off about her, either she was acting, or she had some kind of secret relationship to your brother. Brushing off the thought, you felt it to be too forced and heterosexual for your liking.

Most likely, they were just friends, and she felt bad for her friend being in danger. Seems like she thought he was being tortured. Which he kind of was, maybe you should ask 76 to not torture him? 

He was probably the type to waterboard someone, or, you know, choke the life out of someone. Was that his thing? Did he have an asphyxiation kink or something? Was that why he always went in for the choke? 

Now you definitely knew you needed some sleep, you were making up some crazy stories and scenarios in your head, which you knew not to be true. If Hana would ever talk to you again, you could probably start a rumour about that together. How fun would that be? Payback for forcing you on a suicide mission, by far.

But who were you to talk though? You had your own kinks and likings. Not like you’d ever talk about that with anyone, you kept quiet about that, preferring to keep it to yourself. People would probably take it the wrong way, anyways.

‘Why do you have a kink when you haven’t even had sex?’ they would ask. You’d be forced to answer some half assed reply, and they’d start telling you to go have sex with someone. Sex wasn’t everything to you, sure, with the right person, maybe. But as of right now, you just couldn’t see yourself doing just that.

Who would you even do the act with? McCree? You’d be lucky if he didn’t shoot you on sight for what you were doing, even if said thing was for Overwatch. He did want you to keep safe though, and he told you it didn’t matter what you did, he could never hate you.

But this was something else. It wasn’t just liking your ex’s picture on facebook while being in a committed relationship, this was literally betraying him without being able to tell him you were actually just a double agent.

It needed to seem believable, and in order to do so, you might have to harm him. Which you sure as hell didn’t want to do, he meant everything to you. But in order for you to be free of the chains holding you down, this was what it cost. Was freedom really worth it?

Your brothers freedom was worth it, at least in your opinion. But you weren’t as sure about yours. Did you deserve to be free, after all you’d done? Some would argue ‘no’, others would tell you that everyone deserves to be free and have the rights to live. 

As Sombra opened up a dorm for you, you headed inside and saw the bed had already been made. Thanking her, you threw the kit on the ground next to the bed, expertly untied your shoes, and started tossing clothes left and right. 

Sombra looked a bit unsure about you dressing down in front of her, that much you deduced from a simple look at her face. She looked a bit horrified, but what did you care, you hadn’t thrown off your shirt or underwear. 

“Night.” You said, taking a leap of faith into the bed. All in the matter of seconds, you’d found a great position. She looked horrified and a bit impressed by your bedroom skills, unsure of what to do of herself, she turned of the lights and said a quick goodnight, before closing the doors.

Ah finally, some time to yourself. Time to think of horrible stressful thoughts before becoming so exhausted that you tired yourself out. Or maybe you should report back to 76? The latter wasn’t tempting, but it’s not like it wasn’t necessary.

“Up for some late night reports or did you get most of our conversation from earlier?” You asked, a bit quietly, you weren’t sure if the walls had eyes, or ears for that matter. “Got it all pinned down and planned.” He replied.

That was reassuring at the very least, maybe you should check up on how he was doing with your brother imprisoned. “So, the torture? You’re not choking him to death or something?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t. He had a mean chokehold, you unfortunately knew from experience.

“No, he’s been staying in the room you were left in. Saturday then? 0400?” Something like that. But something popped up into your mind, why weren’t McCree asking for your brother, surely he knew you were ‘fighting’ Talon, and he sure as hell had been working with your brother. Was he looking for you?

“How’s uh… Have you talked to my brother?” You asked, hoping he hadn’t told Morrison anything. “You informed him that you were fighting Talon, as well as McCree.” So he knew… Well, hopefully he hadn’t done anything about it yet.

“I sent McCree on a dead-end mission, somewhere far away from where you were originally placed. Some ‘sightings’ of you, forged images, etcetera. Then when he left, I got your brother. You made a poor decision informing him about this mission, soldier.”

Sergeant. But you dismissed the thought, as you started thinking. Was he honestly willing to go out looking for you? That was nice, but what wasn’t nice, is that both you and Soldier 76 had been lying to a ‘teammate’, although you honestly couldn’t even call yourself that now.

“Was he pissed off?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t too angry. “Seemed calm and collected on the outside. Terrifying really, he’s very much ‘pissed off’.” Your worries had been confirmed. “Ait, then uh… Will you inform him of our plans afterwards?”

“Afterwards?” Yeah, because you sure as hell couldn’t stay with Overwatch after what had happened. All the trust they’d placed in you, had been completely vanished. “Yeah, I won’t be working with Overwatch anymore after this mission. I’ll retreat to a civilian life. Hopefully, if they don’t kill me first.”

“They probably won’t kill you. Stop you? Yes. Hurt you? Possibly. Kill? It’s a possibility but I highly doubt that. You’re like family to us, helpful and kind.” That didn’t make your conscious hurt any less. “Will you explain to them about our plans? That I needed to do this?”

“You know I can’t do that.” Why though? Because it needed to seem believable? You honestly don’t think Talon would want you after you were done, so there’d be no point in them not knowing of your sacrifice. “Why can’t you tell them about it?”

That was what you wanted to know, did he fear that they might hurt him? Was he only doing it for himself? Afraid of getting shunned by his peers, thus he let damnation fall upon you? What a selfish little fucking prick!

He wasn’t answering, and you felt like taking the first ride over to base to smack him across the face. Why couldn’t they know? They would understand and not be upset! Well they probably would, but at least it would become numb with the years. Better than them not knowing at the very least.

“I’ll be putting my integrity on risk, you know this.” So he was only doing it for himself then? That made you pissed off, he’s risking your life, among his peers, just for himself?! He only wants recognition, nevermind at the expense of others. “76. You should really stop digging your fucking grave. Either you tell them, or I’ll become your literal worst nightmare.”

All this time, you’d blamed yourself. Even if some of the blame was on you, it had mostly been his bidding. 

You were tired, pissed off and hurt. 

Lovesick, betrayed and emotionally and physically damaged. 

You were hungry for revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what a selfish prick amiright????
> 
> Ait, my fellow people, the announcement is up, p simple as well, hope y'all wanna do it because you can get p much whatever ya want from me (except money because fuck i need and crave that shit)
> 
> As always, I'm 100% available on my Tumblr and Twitter account, hope you liked the chapter, hmu for literally anything my lovelies!!!


	36. Sticks and guns

Preparing for a mission is never fun.

Not only do you need to have validated that all your material is functioning, but it also needs to be neatly folded and organized in a way you’ll remember the exact location of said items. You’ll also need all the information and intel you can gain, in order to be prepared mentally for anything that might come up.

Then there’s of course the more emotional part of the mental preparation you’ll need to have in order. That anything might happen, that you or your partner might die. Now, you’re lucky your team has at least one member who’s a medical expert. Level 6, if not higher on said medical scale. 

Usually only a level 3 is required, granted, you know that you’re put in good hands. Even so, you’re not 100% certain that this team would save you, even if you’re supposed to be ‘valuable’ to them. Who knows, all this uncertainty is making you even more uneasy and on edge than you normally are.

Popping the lid off of your medication, you downed it alongside a glass of water. You were somewhat alone, and by somewhat you meant, that you were uncertain if you were being watched or not. 

Days of preparations alongside Talon had left you a nerve wrecked young woman. These guys knew their shit, and if you weren’t actually on ‘Team Overwatch’ you’d actually have wanted to join Talon. That, and if they weren’t actually secretly killing and destroying the lives of civilians.

Constant reminders that they were in fact ‘evil’ from Morrisons side, left you a mess. You were ‘siding’ with the enemy for the greater good, at least you wished and hoped that it was the way it’d all end up.

The reason you’d even joined the military in the first place was to secure and aid those who could not fight for themselves. Going out in public, you saw the civilians as they lived their rather normal lives. How strange it was. 

They worried about debts, their romance life, work, their family, yet here you were, worried about surviving the night. Longing for a normal life, left you nothing valuable, except the hope that once you were done with this mission that you’d finally be done with all the shit brought on in your life.

Seated in a meeting room chair, the same chair you’d sat in the first day you’d arrived, you awaited the rest of your ‘new team’. You were always the first one there, mostly because aside from the computer room, this is where you lived. The room you’d been given had only been used for sleeping, and the bathroom it shared to shower and other hygienics.

After days of being in almost constant use, the meeting room air felt stuffy. There were crumbs on the table after your meals, which you immediately noticed and tried to dust off. No need to dirty this meeting room even more than you’d already had.

“You’re here early, again.”

Recognizing the voice, you didn’t even look in their direction. Only shifting steadily in your seat. 

“Tonight we’ll be departing. I want to be as prepared as possible, arriving early to our last meeting is part of those preparations. You do not rise to the occasion in combat, you sink to your level of training.”

Feeling the smirk which was growing on the woman next to you, you dared look at her. She was wearing her usual get up, and her usual smirk. 

“You’re such a soldier, if you weren’t so cute about it, it’d actually be annoying.”

“Thank you very much Sombra, how kind.”

“So you’re prepared for tonight?”

“As prepared as I can be. We don’t know exactly what awaits us, but if it’s Overwatch, it surely won’t be an easy feat.”

Groaning, and massaging her face, you could see her present visible frustrations. She looked tired, which was bad if she would be up through the night. At least you’d gotten your full hours of sleep, which felt like a somewhat privilege at this point.

“I know, we’ve never actually directly attacked Overwatch. Even if this is a somewhat rescue mission at that, we… This is big to say the least. I’m usually never nervous, but this is, something else at least.”

Feeling yourself agreeing, you felt like you should say some encouraging words. But what was there to say? ‘you’ll be fine’? Downright lying to her would not make this situation any better. Words escaped you, but you still wanted to make her feel less nervous.

“Well, if anything happens, I’ll greet you at hells gate.”

Looking at you, slightly shocked, you felt as if you’d made a verbal mistake. Until she snorted and laughed to herself. At least it seemed like some light dark humor made the occasion less fearful.

“Dios mio, I love you, I don’t get why Gabe didn’t snatch you up years ago. You’re good company.”

“Likewise.”

In the end, you too found yourself laughing a bit.

 

Entering the premises of Overwatch had been easy. Immediately gaining access to the base. Clutching your weapon, you moved silently through the hallways with expertise. It felt so empty, the grey walls reminding you of a previous life, one that you felt yourself reliving with each cleared room.

It was early, they were all probably sleeping. No one had been notified of your presence. At least not that you were an enemy force to be reckoned with, at the very least. You hadn’t spoken to Morrison, the full plan of attack unknown to him. 

The very first part of the mission had gone swell, being entering on your very own without alerting anyone of anything suspicious. Now for the next part, which you were currently doing, figure out how many members of Overwatch was currently on base, fully operative, who would be able to fight you.

Not that you didn’t believe anyone of them could not kill you, they were very capable of doing so. You were just hoping they’d choose not to, although you wouldn’t hold it against them if they did shoot you.

Scowering through yet another level, checking every single room, stan the living quarters, you were already feeling like it was an easy feat. Too easy. It’s almost as though there weren’t anyone present.

“5-308, Report”

Hearing Reaper on your ear piece made you do a double take, and you almost jumped in fear. Right, you were still on ‘their’ side, and they needed to know if you’d gotten into any enemy contact.

“No enemies in sight, first two levels clear. Moving on further down, still keeping to plan Alpha o one. Sombra, status?”

As you were currently inside of the so called dungeon, the rest awaited your signals on the outside. Sombra had gotten the job of trying her very best to infiltrate the monitoring system, in order to track down you and potential enemies.

“Soon.”

Great response. Really. Couldn’t she even give an estimated time stamp as to when that’d happen? Though, who were you to judge, you weren’t a data expert.

“Copy, end.”

Upon entering yet another level, you felt yourself grow emotional. These were the people you’d worked with for the past half year, the people you’d grown attached to in such a short time. Even if you only knew few of them well, you knew that they didn’t deserve this.

Even if you were currently fighting for their cause, they surely wouldn’t know that it was what you were currently doing. If someone saw their groundskeeper who’d been gone for some time, sneaking around in your home, fully armed, communicating with someone through an earpiece, they’d surely think you’d been playing them for a fool all along.

Which you hadn’t.

You hadn’t ever meant for this to happen. You just wanted a well paying job, and sure enough this one was available. But to deal with this, the way you were, was in your own opinion, quite well. There was something you were doing right at least, considering you hadn’t died yet.

Hearing someone talk, further down the hallway, made you choke. Someone was awake, at this hour, probably heading your way. As of now, there was nowhere to hide, which meant you needed to alert Talon, in case you’d finally have to break contact.

“Enemies heading my way, unable to hide, permission to break contact.”

Not that you were truly asking for permission, you knew as well as anyone, that if they were to shoot at you, that you’d use self defence. Preferably you wouldn’t need to, but who knows, it’s not like you could turn invisible or anything.

“Permission granted. Avoid fire if possible.”

“Copy, end.”

If they were actually your enemy, you’d have already moved into a firing position, but you hoped, with all of your being, that they wouldn’t attack. You just wanted this mission to be over. You didn’t want to hurt anyone, even if you’d ended up hurting everyone. This wasn’t who you were or even wanted to be.

Even if you weren’t a scared child, it sure as hell felt like it. As the voices, and footsteps were closing in, you held your breath. Absolutely terrified of seeing who was approaching you. Quickly you removed the earpiece, crunched it under your foot as quietly as possible and moved further down the hallway.

Wishing for the stunt you were about to pull successful, you removed your stern grip on the weapon, replacing it with a lazy, rather casual one. As if you’d been outside shooting some cans with an old pal. 

Seeing the two people in front of you, was making your heart stop. Cold sweat droplets running down your back. Of all the people, why did it have to be these two fuckers. The almighty entity had shown you no mercy, and you felt every last bit of sin crawling on your back.

They however hadn’t noticed you, but you knew there was only a matter of time before you’d need to either fight or flight. Unfortunately, the latter was not an option. Everything was now depending on your magical charisma, which you wished would save your life, and the two people approaching you.

“-Don’t believe a word you’re saying Jesse. They would never,-”

And you’d been spotted.

Something inside of you told you ‘welp you’re fucked’, and truly it was a statement that resonated with you, in and out. Hanzo was staring at you questiongly, as if you’d suddenly dropped out of nowhere. Which you seemingly had. Rather than suddenly jumping into fighting, he just stared at you and seemed oddly fascinated by your get up.

An amused laugh escaped his throat, which made you even more scared than the fact that you might just have to fight him and well, Jesse. You didn’t even dare look his way, because he knew the truth. Well, at least half the truth… Most of it?

“What are you even wearing?”

Looking down at your clothes, you made a face. You were just wearing a uniform and a bulletproof vest. What the fuck did he mean by that?

“Honestly Jesse, I know that you think I’m gullible, but you wouldn’t actually make believe that she,” He gestured to you, “Could be working with Talon. Again. You can take that ridiculous outfit off now, I don’t know how he even convinced you to dress up in that, but you couldn’t fool me.”

Well, alright, if he thinks it’s all a prank, there’d be no reason to actually open fire. Shrugging, you walked up to him, almost yanked the chain off that contained the stick of information and tossed it at him, before resuming your walk back to the elevators and staircase. 

No point in actually looking like an enemy, if no one was going to take you fucking seriously. Now, for the next part, you’d be meeting 76 on a level you weren’t even sure existed, until you’d been dragged there for a stupid ass interrogation, resulting in lots of unnecessary pain.

But before you were even able to reach the elevator you were stopped. Not by some person, but an alarm ringing loudly. Shocked, you knew that something had tipped you off, and you had begun running. 

Sprinting to the end of the hallway, you pushed the elevator button so hard, you felt your nail crack in half. Yelping at the pain, you abruptly turned, assuming position, in case the two passerbys decided to actually attack you. 

Hanzo seemed disturbed, surprised, mouth agape staring you down. McCree however seemed downright pissed off as he stomped towards you, weapon in hand.

“You led them fucking here?!”

“Stop! Drop your gun, slowly, hands raised in the air.”

Continuing to walk towards you, you looked through the aim. Ready to turn off the safety lock, ready to shoot him in the head. Yet, he continued on his way towards you.

“I said drop your weapon!”

At this distance, and with your fantastic aim, you wouldn’t miss. You knew this, and you were certain he knew as well. Your mind screaming in pain, but you were cool, calm and collected, despite your demanding, stern voice commanding him to drop his weapon.

Guess he wasn’t taking your warnings, but you weren’t willing to kill him. On instinct, you flipped the switch, aimed at his side, and in a very fluid motion, fired. The sound resonated in the hall, and you knew you’d instantly fucked up.

“Drop the fucking gun, last goddamn warning!”

He’d stopped walking, a good 15 meters in front of you. So unbearably close, you could see the anger seeping off of him, and you could feel yourself slowly cracking up. This was the man you loved, and here you were aiming your weapon at him, ready to kill him, for unnecessary reasons that hurt your very heart.

In an almost whisper, you choked out a plea. “Please Jesse… Just… Drop the gun. I don’t, please just, drop your gun.” 

“I swear, if ya don’t stop and reconsider yer options, I’m gon have to shoot ya darlin’.”

“Please McCree… I didn’t-”

“To hell with that, ya ‘didn’t wanna hurt anyone’ but ya ended up hurtin’ everyone! I swear, when ya stopped answerin’ I thought you’d gone and gotten yerself killed! Why didn’t ya just… Let me help you?!”

“... Because I’m the only one who-”

“Shut the fuck up! You made a poor decision in panic, which coulda been fixed had ya not taken it upon yerself to suffer alone. So what now, yer suddenly on their side?!”

“I never wanted to be on anyones side! This was just another job until I got back on my fucking feet, do you honestly think this is what I wanted!?”

Your screams echoed through the halls, as tears threatened to spill. Sure, you agreed that a lot of it could’ve been solved had you just talked it out. But at the time it was either your life or your brothers. And even if you’d felt betrayed upon learning the reality of it all, you still loved him.

“It sure as hell seems like it.”

“What the fuck do you know about that, huh?! I never wanted this to happen, but it fucking did, I’ve been trying my best to just survive! I’m not asking for forgiveness, because I know I’d never recieve it, my reasons were selfish, but the outcome is grander than me.”

It was oh so painfully quiet, as you saw Hanzo approach, a rather determined look on his usual stern face. He was holding the chain, the stick still attached.

“And this?”

“Shut it Hanzo-!”

McCree grabbed the stick from his hands, and tossed it on the ground aiming for it with his gun. Everything you’d done, for just a bit of information.

“Don’t Jesse! Please don’t! Don’t do it please, I’m begging you!”

“You don’t have the privilege to call me that anymore, not after what you did.”

“Please! That stick is everything I’ve worked for, please don’t-!”

Another loud gunshot was heard throughout the halls. 

The stick was utterly destroyed.

Every piece of information you’d worked so hard for, gone. 

“There we go. Now. Get the fuck out of here, 5-308.”

Tears were running down your cheeks. 

Everything hurt, and you couldn’t even bare it. You just wanted to drop your own weapon and sob on the floor, or run away. Impossible as it is, even with the alarms ringing blaring noise, you heard an infamous ding of an elevator door opening.

Not bothering or even daring to turn your head away from your enemy, you slowly made your way backwards into the elevator. Slowly waiting for the door to close, you stared at the man in front of you. You were heartbroken. After a week of hell, you’re work was gone. Just like that.

The painfully slow elevators doors were closing, and you felt yourself wanting to mouth an apology. 

The door shut, and you were rapidly descending. At least that’s how it felt, even if you knew better. You were just hoping that you’d be arriving at the correct level, as planned between you and 76. Though you could probably resume a standing position, you were still crouched down, in the same position as you’d last seen Jesse in. 

The elevator stopped, and the door opened. There stood 76 gun to your brothers head, him looking beat up, as you felt like everything that could go wrong, just had. 

“Information.” He’d said, but you barely comprehended words. Your mind not wanting to even register words at this point.

“Destroyed.”

“What was that?”

“Everything… Destroyed.”

He was quiet, eerily so.

“How disappointing.”

You expected another gunshot, for guts and meat to be flung across the wall. Painting the floor. But no such sound came.

A shove, and your brother was back in your grace.

“I hope you have a nice life 5-308. Even if you failed your last mission.”

“Apologies sir, I hadn’t expected-”

“I want you out of this facility this instant. You’re fired. You won’t be persecuted, not by me anyways. Thanks for nothing, sergeant.”

Rising, you stood in the elevator, trying to contain your sobs, as the doors closed. So much work, panic, stress, pain. 

And for what?

Nothing except hatred and awful pain.

Standing upright and keeping your brother steady, you tried not to think of anything, letting your body move automatically.

The pain was gone in this state, you weren’t present, even if your body was, mind elsewhere. Rid of everything.

All was done for nothing.

Nothing mattered.

Even as you kept your brother upright, his arm slung over your shoulder, you didn’t hear him speaking to you. 

You didn’t even feel the pain from when your leg were shot.

You didn’t even feel it when you knocked someone out, or even the scratch you gained on your face. 

Even when you lost your forearm did you not feel anything. 

Being escorted off, you couldn’t even feel the hands carrying you off.

There was no hope, you’d lost everything that mattered to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope, theres still a few chapters left!!! Sorry to leave you all in anticipation (and for the late update, been REALLY busy as of late, I wrote this in the ER so sorry that it isnt very long...)
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed this, if you wanna hmu contact me on Tumblr or Twitter
> 
> (I'm still very busy, but hey dont worry, it'll all work out in the end :))) )


	37. Times are a-changing

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?

 

A long time since everything started.

 

The memory seems fussy, the unspoken words, the hushed feelings, all of the secrets that piled up and all of the secrets that was uncovered.

 

No one knows what happened, what truly happened.

 

What went down, or the events that followed.

 

There’s no possible way one could begin to even comprehend it all. 

After all, it was a mess, forged by your actions, forced by the decisions you made and those you didn’t make. The promises you kept, the ones you broke. It wasn’t all on you. It wasn’t only,

 

Your fault.

 

Looking back, you wish there were choices you could’ve made differently. You wish there were things you could have said, and things you hadn’t said. But you didn’t. Which is how it led up to this, a cruel world, were you were fighting alone against everything and everyone.

 

Naturally, you became a target.

 

It didn’t take long before they put two and two together, figured you out. Not that it was too difficult either, you had made it quite easy for them. You’d left several pieces for them to pick up on. That you weren’t who they thought you were.

Everyone was in denial at first, because it all seemed… Off. They thought they knew you, at least the person you’d forged in your own image. 

Bland, average, a person who didn’t stick out. Someone you knew, an acquaintance, yet not a friend. 

To some, you’d however been considered just that. A friend. But it was just a fantasy, wishful thinking. Infatuation for someone they’d conjured you to be. Someone they could depend on, someone they could trust, someone who’d always be there to support you.

In this fantasy, some had even lost themselves completely. They’d made you into someone you were not, a person one could fall in love with. You’d been created into a flawless ethereal being, put high up on a pedestal. They had chosen to not see you, they had portrayed you as a beautiful and willing little doll.

Their toy.

Something to play with. Dressing it up in a dolls clothes. Brushing it’s plastic hair, with a little pink hair brush. Making it move around as they so willed it. It, you, weren’t real.

But, when they truly saw you, who you’d become. No, rather, who you truly were, the reality had washed over them as a cold gust of win. A shiver running down their backs, cold hands losing their feeling, a numbness taking over. Their eyes had been opened.

You, were someone unimaginable. You were alive, moved and acted on your own, had a mind with thousands of thoughts. Flesh, bones, and blood pumping through your veins. A constant stream of dreams, hopes and wishes, amongst them nightmares, fear, and pain.

However, you weren’t on their side. You weren’t on anyones side. Not even your own. 

A constant battle, a war, against everything for nothing. Or rather, a fight to live, freely. 

 

Yet, that is not the outcome you achieved.

 

Of all the things you needed to go right, it all went wrong. 

People who thought that they knew you well enough, their expectations for you, shattered in a million little pieces. Turned to ashes and dust. 

You had touched their hearts, you had made them, as much as they made you, into someone no one were. Even those who you’d never seen, who you’d never interacted with, to those whom you had shared parts of your life with. 

Some had thought, that they knew you, that they could trust you, that you were the one for them. Still, they’d hoped for you, that their image, were the truth, that you were a reality. 

The smiles, the laughs, the gentle touches.

Even the way you’d shown care.

Was it all lies?

Did nothing matter to you? Did they not really matter, even if they didn’t know you? Had you shared truths about yourself, or was it all an act? Had you been an act all along?

Who truly knew, because they didn’t, and neither did you.

 

They’d wished it wasn’t real, at first. Some still didn’t- couldn’t believe it, some were driven to find the answers to all the questions you’d left behind, others wished you dead. After some time, they’d felt betrayed, because you weren’t coming back to answer for your choice. There was no justice.

 

You hid away, some say you were a coward, some understood why you’d hidden, some didn’t give you a choice in having to hide.

Tears had seemed like a waste, anger seemed justified. Happiness was never shown, but some were glad. Some of them, were better off without you.

 

As days passed, the seasons changed, storms appearing and disappearing, the sun rising and the earth turning, lives were changed.

They all grew from the experience, including you. Trust was not easily given, heads were turning to constantly check their surroundings, people grew fiercer.

 

One doesn't always think, that you truly matter in this world. That you can change anything. That time, is just a ticking clock, a step closer to the inevitable. What if you had never existed? Would that had made anyone happier? Would it had made anyone upset? Did you really change anything in this world?

Or were you just another name, someone overlooked. Someone not important.

 

You knew better, everything you do, be it big or small, all your actions, all your thoughts, feelings, everything you speak, present to the world, makes a difference. Be it positive, or not.

Maybe, the world would be different. Maybe, people would be happier, or maybe they wouldn’t.

All your actions have consequences. 

As you exist, you make changes.

In the long run, it might not matter.

But what you do, right now, does. What you did, to them, to others, to the world, and to yourself, matters.

 

The experiences you give, the ones you share, are important. What one choose to do, has an affect on everything. 

 

Sure, you made some bad choices, you made some good.

 

Some of them meant that you’d be better off not ever existing.

 

Because of what you did, people got hurt, people that had their whole life ahead of them, wiped off of the face of the earth.

 

Not to mention, you took many lives, didn’t you? Stole them and removed them, tossed it all away.

 

Who were you to decide who live, and who die?

 

You learn, that if something is threatening your life, you must be rid of it. If it exists you will perish, and on command, on reflex, on instinct as a human being, you put them down. 

How could you live, knowing that you were their reckoning? 

Why did you feel like you mattered more than them? Though really, it was all out of fear.

 

But you still needed to be able to live with yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, walk amongst the people, knowing full and well, that if the person handing you your morning coffee at your local cafe could be out to kill you, and that you needed to be quicker, you needed to be the first one to act. It’s like the quote «Someplace, somewhere, someone is training to kill you»

Living a lifestyle like that, of which you had lived for years, made you into that person. 

 

They hadn’t known, how could they have? You hadn’t told them who you really were, you’d shown so little of your true self that they’d conjured a new you in their own image. Parts of you were still there, but it was just outlines of the big picture, barely resembling a person.

 

Alas, when they’d seen you, confusion, shock, and training washed over them. 

You’d been injured. But that really wasn’t important.

 

Why should anyone care for you, after you’d hurt them?

You’d let everyone down, including yourself.

As much as you wanted, wished, begged for a life without such gruesome horror shows, you’d finally realized. There was no escaping this, you couldn’t make everyone happy, including your own person. 

 

You must realize, that you fucked up. That you hurt everyone around you?

 

That there were people, searching for you, hunting you down like an animal.

 

Really, most of them didn’t care anymore, to them you were nothing but a bad background character in their already chaotic life.

 

But to some, you were a potential danger waiting to happen. 

 

When you fear for your own life, for those close to you, for people that deserve a sliver of a chance at life, you’ll realize. That you needed to be exposed of, because you had naturally become a threat.

 

Was it really worth it? Is this what you wanted all along?

You made those decisions, you hurt everyone.

 

«We’re coming for you.»

 

 

Waking up wasn’t difficult, considering you hadn’t been sleeping. Sleep deprivation was catching up with you, followed by anxiety and paranoia. You were hallucinating, seeing little black spots run in and out of your sight. Seeing a million bugs crawl on the floor, the wall and the ceiling. You had taken to sleeping in your closet, weapon in hand.

Yet, you couldn’t sleep, passing out from exhaustion was the only thing that kept you alive and at the very least rested. As light streamed into the room, shining into the little crack in your closet, you knew you needed to move.

It wasn’t comfortable, sleeping in a closet. Even if you’d cushioned it pretty well, you still had difficulties not having a back ache as it was still pretty cramped. But for now, came the difficult part, rather, the part you hated the most in your daily morning routine. Waiting for the signal.

Taps were heard against the tiled floor, clings echoed throughout the room, soft pants, a little ruffle as though, shit, they were close.

Closing your eyes you shielded yourself of what was to come.

A gentle scrape of nails against the closets door.

«Good girl.»

Opening the door slowly, you still kept your eyes closed, if you wanted to see stars and make your headache worse you needed to keep them that way until you could reach your sunglasses, neatly displayed on the bed. 

Giving your companion a quick pet, you crawled over to the edge of the bed, feeling your way across the blanket to your glasses. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to surround yourself in complete darkness, but at least it helped you rest. Putting your sunglasses on, you slowly opened your eyes. Sitting on the floor, back resting against the bed, you gave your companion a tired smile.

«Good morning, Darla.»

The most precious, beautiful dog you’d ever laid eyes upon, sniffled and put their head in your lap. A german shepherd mix. With what you’re not sure of, but you imagined that it was love. Gently stroking her, you glanced around the room. Darla kept you safe, kept you functioning. 

Through a whole amount of training, you’d taught her to search the apartment, every single morning, before returning to your room, scraping on the closet, letting you know that it was safe to come out. She truly was a blessing.

As you pet Darla, you realized something. Not only that she was perfect, but how much she’d truly grown. Time had passed, and even if it seemed like you were safe now, considering no one had showed up, you could never rest. 

Leaning your head back, against the unused soft bed, sheets, blanket and duvet thoroughly ruffled to appear slept in, you sighed. Even if Darla was here, nothing was truly safe. What was the point of hiding, besides from the fact that you wanted to continue living? They probably knew exactly where you were, they just hadn’t done anything about it. 

You still hid though.

Patting Darla’s side, she lifted her head, and you started pushing yourself up with the help of your bed. Turns out, losing parts of your arm, is really not a lot of fun. Sure you’d been given a prosthetic, something that just seemed to naturally be a part of you. But after some time, you’d felt guilty.

Maybe chucking it into a drawer and never using it, wasn't the best idea you’ve had. However, you managed. You knew you could always come crawling back to them, with open arms, like the worm you were. But why would you. It disgusted you.

They’d kept their promise, not bothering you, or your brother. However, your brother didn’t want to be near you either. Even if he knew what you’d been forced to do, he was still so disgusted with you and himself that he needed an enormous amount of space. 

Now, it was just you, and Darla.

Tying your hair up, messing up the bed a bit more, you left the room, Darla on your heels. First things first, her breakfast. Heading into the kitchen, you felt a sense of… Something. Nothing seemed out of place, Darla wasn’t reacting, and even if you knew deep inside that you weren’t currently in danger, something felt, different.

Perhaps you could blame it on the sleep deprivation, you moved on. Filling the personally customized bowl with dog food, you felt yourself smile as Darla wagged her tail and gently nudged you with her snout. You loved her with all your heart.

«Here you go Darla, breakfast. Hope you like it, darling, I spent hours cooking it just for you. You’re my special darling, that deserves the very best, the finest of cuisines!»

Even if the reality of the foods making had been quite different, Darla loved it when you made a little fuss for breakfast. Maybe you shouldn’t, but she seemed very excited and happy. But you knew, that you should really move out of this apartment soon.

After the surgeries, the physical therapy, and psychological therapy, that was put on Talons bill, you’d quickly moved into the first, cheapest and best apartment you could find. You’d stayed here, for quite some time, despite the fact that if you wanted to remain incognito you needed to move around.

Perhaps you felt like you deserved whatever storm was coming, or maybe you just had no energy to move to somewhere safer. No matter, you tried to live on, even if life was giving you a hard time. After finally getting your ‘life’ back, you’d taken up some work at a local kindergarten. 

Even if you didn’t have a degree that synced up with the current work you were doing, there’d been a lot of begging involved and having to ‘prove’ yourself that you were not incompetent around small children. It also helped distracting yourself from the constant war that was your life.

One could argue that a person who’s suffered as much as you, shouldn’t be around children. Not that you’d ever harm a child, but the loud sudden noises and the constant lurking dangers could make any person paranoid. However, the normalcy of it all was a blessing.

Who needed their own child, when you could have plenty of them just a couple hours a day?

Anyways, you started putting some water into the coffee maker, a gift you’d received from some parents that were more than supportive of veterans, bordering a bit scary. You’d barely even mentioned to them that you’d served in the army, and there they were giving you a coffee maker and saluting you, shaking your hand for all the ‘good’ you’d done in this world. If they only knew…

Pouring some cheap coffee into the coffee maker, that you had bought in bulk during your last coupon raid, you continued the journey that was making coffee by locating a clean cup. Every day started out the same. 

The waiting, the breakfast and then the first cup of coffee, before you would head into the shower, try to scrub away your sins and then getting dressed for the day. Quickly followed by you, leaving Darla with a neighbor that had always wanted a pet, but never had the cash to take care of them. Speaking of, you notice that Darla has been a bit restless lately, and you’ve been worried about them not getting enough exercise. 

Though really, Darla wasn’t the only one. Not that you’d ‘let yourself go’, you just barely had the energy to do anything after you’d picked up Darla and returned to your apartment, after work. Now wasn't the time to feel sorry for yourself, you needed to step up your game. Darla needed you, and that meant you had to be able to take care of yourself.

Taking a sip of the freshly brewed coffee, you inwardly, cringed. It was too bitter, yet you had to finish it all off. You buy it, you consume it. Blowing away some of the steam, you removed the glasses you’d forgotten all about. Some people would find it silly, to wear sunglasses indoors. That or a migraine, you could argue.

Your head was still aching quite a bit, and if it wasn’t for the fact that you needed to support yourself financially, you wouldn’t be working at all. Leaving the coffee behind, you headed towards the bathroom. It was time for a shower. 

Keeping up with a routine at the worst of times, was a huge pain, and if it wasn’t for the fact that you feared losing your job and Darla, you would currently just be living in a cave somewhere. 

Everything seemed to blend together as you entered the shower, the shampooing, the drying, locating suitable work wear and putting it on, finishing the cup of coffee, grabbing your purse and leaving with Darla by your side. Saying your ‘good morning’ greeting to the rather lovely neighbor that took care of your dog, and giving Darla a last goodbye pat, before finally heading off to work.

 

It wasn't until something grabbed your shoulder that you finally took notice of the world around you. A co-worker, Max, in his early twenties, barely fresh out of college, shook you out of your thoughts. Rather, the thoughts you hadn’t been having.

«Woah there, did you get any sleep last night?»

Genuine concern in his voice, he tried to smile at you. You had tried to keep up with your sleep schedule, rest in your own bed instead of the closet, but nothing seemed to be working. But you couldn’t really be outing yourself to your co-worker, considering he’d call the cops on you, which would result in them calling on Overwatch, which would result in your death, and that would be a catastrophic now wouldn’t it?

«Oh, well, I kind of binge watched this new series that came out. Didn’t realize it was 4 AM until my computer died on me.»

A big ol’ lie, but who cares. Life or death situation that totally called for a lie.

«Nice, but you should get some rest though. Maybe join the kids when they take a nap. You know you get cranky when you don’t get enough rest.»

He laughed a bit, and you felt the need to give a little giggle as well. Mostly just a pity giggle, but it also helped you not blow your cover. Plus, when the kids did have nap time, you had to clean up the mess they’d made. Not that there was a lot of it, considering this was a fairly simple kindergarten, but even so.

«I know. I’ll try to get my full 8 hours tonight.»

Waving him off, you placed your jacket in a closet with your name on it. Along with the sneakers, as you switched to the god awful slippers you had to wear. Even though Max was a good kid, he was kind of annoying you. Not right now of course, even though his presence was an ever-burning annoyance.

He’d gotten a nasty habit of flirting with you in front of the kids, and had asked you out several times while the children was present. That ensued in a fake-marriage between the two of you, that he’d goaded the kids into making. He sometimes even called you ‘wifey’. 

«So, did you catch the game last night?»

«What game?» God, you were actually feeling really cranky today. He was right, you needed a nap, but you would never hear the end of it, if you actually did it.

«No way, you didn’t catch the game D.Va played? She was streaming and she burst into tears after playing this one game.»

Well. Shit.

«Why?» You asked, trying not to seem to interested in what he was going to say about your former best friend. If there was anything you regretted more, it was leaving her behind.

«Didn’t say, specifically. Told us the game reminded her of someone.»

«What was she playing?» Were you that someone? Were you the reason why the always ‘cool’ and ‘collected’ D.Va had burst into tears during a lifestream?

«Just this awesome game where you shoot bots. I mean, I don’t hate the omnics, but they’re still just robots.»

Not true, but go on. You were urging him with your hand, trying to appear sort of interested, even though you actually were never usually that interested in hearing what he had to say.

«Anyways, she was shooting bots, left and right, then she suddenly just gets this look, and tears start running. I don’t know what that certain someone did, but she looked terrible. Had to end the stream early.»

Fuck, you were feeling guilty. The guilt was eating away at you, and while you wanted to lock yourself inside a bathroom and cry, you just started working. Heating up some rolls, and putting some cereal out for the early birds that would soon show up.

You often, rather every day, used this free breakfast opportunity, to get some nourishment. Turning on the old half-busted coffee maker in the common kitchen, you quickly started finding some fruits and veggies to cut. The ‘no knife’ policy when kids were around was bothersome when you had to make breakfast. 

«You sure you’re alright, wifey?»

Inwardly groaning, you just sent him a genuine looking fake smile, and continued on with your work. Honestly, some day you might punch him. But not today, you have work to do.

«Yeah, I’m okay Maxwell.»

«How many times do I have to tell you, it’s only Max!»

«Maxthew.»  
«You’re insufferable!»

At that you let yourself actually giggle. After all this time, you were still able to joke around. It felt good, being able to laugh freely, without thinking about the fact that you were a wanted criminal. At least to some. Eh, nothing worked out, but at least no one besides you got hurt. And your brother. And all those people you’d let down.

Anyways.

Humming to yourself, you continued to wash and cut fruits like a champ. At work, you were free. These children didn’t know what you’d done, none of your co-workers knew, and you could let your guard down. You felt safe, like nothing in the world could harm you.

Placing the food onto plates and into cups and bowls, you placed them on a small table, and some on the counter. For the first time, in a good while, you felt like you were doing something good. Like you actually were making an effort to improve.

As the first kids scrambled in, the tired parents giving you a half hearted greeting and taking a good sip of the coffee you’d made, you let yourself go. There was no war, there was no death, in here there was only life and things that made you smile. 

Helping one of the kids take off their jacket and hang it up inside their closet, a parent made an offhand comment that you looked sickly. From the tone of their voice, you knew it was meant well and out of concern, but you still felt it resonate with you.

A single mom, who always looked like a mess, was telling you to take better care of yourself. This was also meant with love, but you felt even worse.

It felt like the universe was flipping you off, considering you didn’t think you looked as bad as you apparently did. Minutes passed, and some of the parents gathered around the coffee station you’d made. 

Feeling like you had to interact with them, you greeted each of them. Not by name, considering you actually didn’t know half their names, as you’d only been introduced once and the kids only called them ‘mom’, ‘dad’ or their respective titles. Though you knew whose child was whose, and a lot of embarrassing details the unknowing kids had told you, you weren’t really interacting with them on a personal level.

Pouring yourself a cup of coffee, only to find out there was barely enough for half a cup, you accidentally sighed loudly. At that the group of parents chuckled.

«Didn’t get no sleep, sweetheart?» Asked Beverly’s guardian, a sweet grandmother who always brought chocolate chip cookies to parents meetings and greeted you by cute pet names. 

«Oh, sorry, I was reading a really good book and couldn’t put it away.» You replied.

You know, like a liar.

«Really? Well the girls at my bookclub have been looking for a new book to read, any recommendations?»

Damn, she was good.

«What type of books are you into? I’ve recently gotten really into the super old classics of Stephen King.» Hoping that the outdated thrillers would bore her. Instead it led into a whole conversation about thrillers and other old school authors. 

The kids were soon craving attention, and considering Max had taken it upon himself to clean up the little breakfast, without leaving you any snacks, you decided to use this as an excuse to leave the conversation. 

Even if you personally had a morning routine, no days were the same with imaginative children. It started off with some light playing, gathering them all together. No one left behind. There also involved some good morning singing, and dishing out compliments to each and every child.

Then they were off to play for themselves under your supervision. 

Seating yourself on a tiny chair, you watched the kids play. Your department consisted of 4-5 year olds, and even though you sometimes found yourself snooping into the toddlers department, you were quite happy with the little munchkins you took care of. 12 kids, in total, which you and Max cared for. 

But Max, being Max, he mostly just joined in when asked or when you needed help putting on the kids clothes when you were going to play outside. Your group mostly consisted of ‘creative souls’ as your boss put it. They weren’t too loud, kind of careful at first, but with a little encouragement they had more energy than you knew how to deal with.

They were also really good at arts and crafts, which led to you getting at least a drawing a day. Most of them you kept in a binder, and looked at whenever you had a terrible day. It kept you grounded, made you feel like you were worth something to someone. 

«Auntie!» The lovely title you’d gained, «Thomas told me you fought a bear!»

A bear?

Looking at the two kids who were currently arguing, over whether or not you’d apparently fought a bear, you decided to sit down next to them. Keep a low level, considering your height could be quite intimidating for a child.

«Yea-huh! My brother said she punched a bear and that she hit so hard she lost her arm.»

Oh - okay. That was a better story than the one that made you lose an actual arm.

«Well, I’m sorry Thomas, I didn’t punch a bear. Because punching isn’t very nice, and that would make the bear very sad.»

That being said, the kid started to cry. 

«But he-he said you did it!»

It took everything inside you to not tell him that yes, you did fight a bear and win. 

Instead you decided to hug and comfort him, telling that you have seen a bear, but that you actually didn’t punch them, rather hug him. Because hugs are better than punching, right?

«Auntie! Max is cheating!» 

Ah yes, yet another crying child. Spreading your arms a little wilder you comforted the two of them the best you could. Max had apparently been winning a game, and that meant it was the end of the world.

«I’ll tell Max to stop cheating, because cheating isn’t very nice.»

«Aw wifey, I’ll stop cheating!»

Max shouted from the other side of the room, making you grimace a bit. The kids however, stopped crying and scampered off. Picking yourself up from the floor, you headed over to some of the other kids, playing a bit with them. 

Time passed too quickly and soon, you found yourself sitting in a ring, reading a book in a weird voice and showing everyone the different pictures. When was the last time you read an actual book with no images in them? A long time ago it seemed. 

But reminding yourself that the kids would benefit from this, you continued onward, finishing the book with a smile on your face.

After nap time and lunch, you quickly helped everyone get dressed and lead them all outside to the playground. Staring at the kids playing, you sat on a bench forcing back the little giggles as the children continued to be adorable. 

They were running around, some being pushed on the swings by each other, some playing tag, and others making ‘soup’ that you absolutely had to try. The ‘soup’ which consisted of rain water, sand, grass and other things the children had mixed into a bucket, were quickly ‘consumed’ by you, complimenting the little chefs for their hard work. 

The world felt like it was finally at peace, like nothing could or would ever harm you. But, as one law of Murphy states, ‘whatever can go wrong, will go wrong’, you were quickly forced back into the reality that was your life. 

«Auntie! There’s someone here to see you!»

Eyes wide open, yet being unable to actually see anything other than black spots, you briskly walked over to Beverly, the child who’d called out to you. This was the day you died. This was the day that Overwatch was finally going to kill you. You just hoped you could negotiate the location so the children wouldn’t hear you scream.

Keeping your sight on your feet, you almost felt like pissing yourself, as you mechanically made your way over to the fence, where your future killer and you would meet. Biting your lip hard, you felt the skin break and a taste of iron soon filled your palate.

Trying to find the words, trying to get out a single coherent sentence felt impossible. All the thoughts in your head were screaming at you, your body telling you to act and run away.

«Please… Not in front of the children.»

You couldn’t even cry. You couldn’t even look at anything besides your feet.

«Fu-heck, I mean, are you okay?»

Hearing the familiar sound of loud sniffing, you quickly looked up, only to see your neighbor standing there, a worried look on their face as Darla shook their tail excitedly. Putting a hand up to your mouth, you let a tear make its way down your face.

You’d been so terrified, thinking that this was the last couple minutes of your rather shitty life, that you hadn’t even considered the possibility of this stranger being anyone else but your future killer. Letting out some rather sharp and painful breaths, you took a hold of the fence with your arm, trying to balance yourself.

«Hey-hey, are you okay?!» Your neighbor shouted as you felt your world crumbling. Darla was whining, worried about you, and poor Beverly knew nothing of the situation as she started screaming, hugging your foot. 

«Wifey what’s going on?!»

Darla started barking, and you were in a full blown panic attack, clutching your stomach hard, trying your best to focus on breathing, rather than the situation at hand. Max, who had no experience dealing with a person dealing with a panic attack, started shaking you, asking if you were okay over and over, before escalating the situation by grabbing a hold of your poor neighbor trying to interrogate them.

«I-» You attempted to speak, to calm the situation, «M-max, Beverly, wat-water.»

Your neighbor, who was trying to calm down Darla, and pulling her away from the situation, looked at you as you felt your vision starting to fail, a constant ringing in your head ensuing. Max managed to pry Beverly off you, as he announced the kids to get inside again.

«Do you need an ambulance?» Your neighbor, bless their soul, asked in a very quiet voice, as you shook your head, lying down on the ground, trying to calm your breathing. If you were going to pass out from this, the least you could do was making yourself comfortable, your mind argued.

Closing your eyes, a constant mantra of ‘dont pass out’ rang inside your head, until the pain of the loud ringing consumed you. Everything seemed so distant, and in seconds you felt yourself get lifted. 

Where you were heading you didn’t know, why you were heading somewhere seemed to be a question, and what you were currently looking at was something entirely else.

 

«I don’t know what happened, they just freaked out suddenly.»

 

«What’s your name?»

 

«Their breathing is steadier, check-»

 

«Do you know where you are?»

 

«They don’t have any emergency contacts listed, try-»

 

«I’m doctor-»

 

You could feel yourself starting to wake. It was a blissful kind of rest, where you knew you were still half asleep, yet didn’t feel the need to wake up just yet. For the first time in forever, you finally felt at peace, like nothing could disturb you.

The bed you were lying in was comfortable, and you felt like you could sink into these covers. A couple of beeps at your side was annoying, but you choose to ignore it, as you continued lying still.

 

«You’re awake, 5-308.»

 

As much as you felt that it should’ve been a question, it was more of a statement, command even. Pulling up the covers you mumbled some half assed comment on how you needed more sleep. A rather loud groan was heard nearby, and you felt the covers being tugged at.

With an iron grip you held the covers, not letting whoever was trying to disturb you have their way. It had been such a long time since you’d actually gotten some rest, and you finally felt like you were going to catch up on it all.

«Get up.»

«… Fuck off.»

You grumbled, trying to bury yourself deeper into the covers, as you heard the beeping quicken a bit. Whoever tried to disturb you, should stop, you needed this, you deserved it. It wasn’t until you felt an arm grabbing your shoulder, rather painfully that you realized.

You were currently not in your apartment. You were currently not alone. 

Shooting up, you accidentally head butted whoever was standing in front of you, a sharp cry escaping your throat as you clutched your beating head. The other person let out a couple curse words, as you tried adjusting your sight to the light, the beeping going off. 

Fumbling you tried to locate a way of calling a nurse. Perhaps they could save your ass some time while you ran off. Meanwhile the other person regained their composure and grabbed your hand, forcing it to stay still above your head.

«Stop it.»

«Nurse!» You screamed, feeling them move forcibly shutting your mouth, by clamping your jaws shut and keeping a hand over your mouth. Thrashing about, you tried your best to fight them off, but as you were still rather weak, your attempts were futile.

«Darlin’, I swear if you don’t shut your mouth, I’m gonna make ya shut up forever.»

That made you go quiet, as you simply stared at the man in front of you. Jesse McCree, the man you’d once fallen in love with, who you’d betrayed, and who had betrayed you. 

Seeing as you’d stopped fighting him, rather just staring dumbly at him, he moved his hand from your mouth. 

Today was the day apparently. Today was the day you were going to die. By none other than the cowboy, who looked… Pretty bad actually now that you’re really looking at him.

His beard, once pristine, looked like a mess. His hair, greasy. His face, tired, beaten and looking rather sweaty. He looked as though he hadn’t slept for days, and by the smell of it, not really showered either.

But even so, he still looked like the man you’d once fallen in love with. Even if he looked kind of, terrible, he was still handsome as hell.

«Ya gonna scream if I move my hand?»

The beeping was now constant, calmer.

Shaking your head, he made a muffled remark and moved both of his hands off of you. Standing tall, he was staring at you, looking as though he was trying to decipher whatever plan he thought you had. One of his hands was now resting on his gun, and you were trying your best not to think about it. 

«What do you-» 

«So, here’s how it’s gonna go down. Ya gonna unhook yerself, put on some damn clothes, and we’re gonna leave this fine establishment. If ya try to run, I’ll shoot. If ya try to scream, I’ll shoot. If ya try to fight… Well, I think y’know the answer to that.»

Swallowing some of your spit, you quickly removed the needle in your arm, turned off the machine and slowly rose from the bed. You were in gown, and if you weren’t so used to it, you would be blushing. Looking around, you didn’t see any of your personal belongings.

«Uh-»

«Put these on.»

Throwing a bag into your lap, you stared at him with a puzzled look. Opening it up, you saw some of your old clothes. A t-shirt, some pants, a hoodie with a zipper, some socks and some sneakers. The bare basics. 

Attempting to use just one of your arms to remove the gown, proved to be a tad difficult. Instead of the usual strings on your back, you got the button version. And they weren’t the big, easy type of buttons, rather the ones you spent minutes on trying to button and unbutton. Sighing almost defeatedly, you decided to just squeeze your head out and rip it off. Was it graceful? No, not really, but to be honest, you’d hit rock bottom a long time ago.

Sitting in nothing in your underwear, you swear you heard McCree mutter something. Ignoring it, you moved a bit quicker, putting everything on rather briskly. There was no use feeling embarrassed about your looks. You were currently wearing the clothes you’d die in.

Slipping on the sneakers, you rose to your feet. All done. 

«Let’s get movin’, and remember what I told ya.» He said, patting his gun. Feeling like saying that you weren’t going to run, you held your tongue, only nodding. 

Following him, he led you through several hallways, ducking out of the way when he heard chatter. Right, he’s still a wanted criminal, isn’t he?

Moving in silence, you quickly found yourself heading down a couple flight of stairs. Looking around, you took notice of the beautiful architecture. This was indeed a fine establishment. Had it not been for the fact that you weren’t currently walking to your death, you would have taken some time to admire the big open windows.

At the end of the stairs, he pushed open an emergency door, and waited for you to step outside. Holding the door open, you walked through what might be the last hospital you step foot inside of. Voicing a quiet thank you, out of reflex, you felt like face palming yourself.

He was leading you to your death, and here you were thanking him for holding open a door for you. Continuing your walk, him now in front of you, a van drove up to you. 

The door opened, and you stared at your feet, accepting your fate.

Something was placed over your head, and you were strapped into a seat, your only hand strapped onto something. As if you’d try fighting, you were just incredibly tired. Beyond exhausted. But even so, you had questions. Like, why?

After all this time, why now? 

You weren’t exactly hiding, even if you tried to be as incognito as humanly possible.

Two loud bangs, and you felt the van starting to move. Sighing, you leaned your head back. Eh, might as well entertain yourself, you’re going to die no matter what now, you might as well figure some things out.

«So,» You started, and considering no one was stopping you, you continued to talk, «Who am I dealing with now?»

No reply. Well, maybe you should’ve been more specific?

«As in, Overwatch? Talon? Some third part? C’mon, I’m on my way to certain death, might as well entertain me.»

Still no reply.

«Any burning questions? No…? I’m here now, anyone can ask away, and I’ll answer. No one that’s interested in what really-» 

«5-308. I urge ya to shut up.»

Fine then. Leaning back into your seat, you decided, that if you were going to die soon, you might as well face death well rested.

Closing your eyes, you tried to get as comfortable as possible, as the van drove off to god knows where. You could only pray for whatever was going down to end well, that death would be quick and as painless as possible.

 

Minutes passed, and you found yourself drifting off.

 

There was just too much going on to make you even bother thinking about anything. With little to no energy, you just couldn’t conform anything too coherent. 

 

Giving off a loud yawn, you leaned your head on your shoulder.

 

In and out of consciousness, feeling nothing, only breathing.

 

You don’t know how long you spent in that van, maybe a couple hours, maybe a day, you weren’t sure.

 

Abruptly you were awakened by the car finally stopping. 

 

Well, time for death then. 

Hearing doors opening, and people shuffling, you took a deep breath. Soon you felt a hand on your shoulder, and you jolted a bit at the sudden contact. It almost felt like they were trying to touch you soothingly, before they quickly moved to unchain you and help you unbuckle your belt. Feeling a small gentle hand in yours, they tugged you a bit, as if to get you moving, to which you did.

Holding your hand they lead you somewhere. You could only hope they would be gentle, and quick.

You were still wearing whatever they’d put over your head, and you were moving too quickly for your liking while being blindfolded. But that wasn’t your decision. 

Considering the rather warm welcome, and the fact that they hadn’t beaten you to a pulp just yet, you were guessing that they were someone you knew. Which could only mean, that this was most likely Overwatch or a third party. 

Had you been a little more bold, you would have asked them yet again, but right now, you just didn’t feel like overdoing it. One wrong move and your life would end.

The person that led you, stood still. Hearing something being swiped, and a couple of soft clicks, you could only assume that you were at some sort of entrance. You were quickly reminded of gravity, as you felt the ground starting to move and stumbled a bit. 

Elevator then.

Maybe.

Where you moving up or down?

The floor stopped moving, and you were suddenly being tugged off somewhere else, this time a bit roughly and by your shirt. Someone was impatient apparently. Trying your best not to stumble and fall, yet not touching the person dragging you off, you tried moving as fast as they wanted you.

Hearing them huff at your somewhat reluctant slow pace, you felt yourself almost wanting to tell them to go fuck themselves, yet it would do you no favors, so you kept it to yourself.

They let you go, and you assume you were hearing a door opening. A couple loud gasps could be heard, so you’re guessing you were about to enter a room full of people. Suddenly a hand, cold to the touch, possibly metal, was on your shoulder, leading you off. 

Assuming that it was McCree, you felt a bit less anxious for some reason. He’d previously been a comfort, yet you were still hurt over what had happened. No reason to continue crying over the fact that he’d literally destroyed your ticket to safety. Not that he knew, that he’d destroyed your leverage, that he’d ruined your mission.

Being pushed down, you yelped, thinking you were being pushed onto the ground. But you found your ass hitting a cushioned seat, and your beating heart was trying to steady itself. 

Rather roughly your cover, was ripped off your head, as well as a bit of hair, and you felt yourself inwardly cursing out the person. Not that it mattered.

As your vision adjusted to the sudden light, you found yourself staring down previous co-workers. Yeah, you’d been correct to assume it was Overwatch that had snatched you up.

 

«So…» You found yourself saying, «Questions?»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOHO - I'm back buois
> 
> Sorry its taken such a long time, I've been really busy with work, and I just started Uni. I had absolutely no idea how to continue this work, and needed to distance myself a bit, but I'm already working on the second chapter sooooooooooo--- 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this update! As always, I'm available on Tumblr, Twitter and IG

**Author's Note:**

> First fan fiction written in years, been real slow  
> Don't know who Reader will end up with, but if you have a suggestion for literally anything either comment or contact me via:  
> https://twitter.com/NopersDopers  
> http://nopersdopers.tumblr.com
> 
> I'll also keep you updated on the prosess of the fic on my Twitter account


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